Dare To Love Again
by lanieloveu
Summary: Two people hurt by love: Christian Grey, trying to balance work and fatherhood and Anastasia Steele, trying to overcome a traumatic moment in her life. Will they dare to love again?
1. Trick or Treat

**Disclaimer: All characters from Fifty Shades of Grey used in this story belong to E.L. James.**

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 **Please Enjoy!**

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter One**

 **...**

 **Ana's POV**

 **October 30, 2015**

"Trick or Treat," Theodore and Phoebe Grey both say to me with their Halloween bags open while looking up expectantly. They are the last in line to get their candy.

"Wow, you are one awesome looking pirate," I tell Theodore as I give him a few mini size bags of peanut M&M's. It was the only candy he put on his Halloween wish list.

Yesterday, I had my class decorate their own Halloween bags with the types of candy they would want inside. While the other kids had lots of different candy, Theodore decorated his entire bag with nothing but peanut M&M's. So I made sure to get him some.

"Yes," he exclaims happily as he runs off down the hall to catch up to the class.

"And you are my pretty little Cinderella," I tell Phoebe as I give her a few of the nerds and sweet tarts she asked for.

"Thank you, Ms. Steele," she smiles up at me before she hurries off.

Half way down the hall Theodore, or Teddy, as he likes to be called, stops suddenly, runs back, and gives me a big hug.

"Thanks Ms. Steele," he says to me.

"You're very welcome, Teddy," I tell him.

He grabs hold of my arm and gently tugs me down so that he may whisper into my ear.

"I know you are supposed to be a wicked witch, but you are still pretty," he tells me before he runs off to the playground to participate in this year's Halloween parade.

I let Sandy, my TA take the class out on the field so that I may finish recording grades into the computer. Parent/Teacher Conferences are in two weeks and I need to get grades in on time.

Every parent has already confirmed their appointments to meet with me except for Teddy and Phoebe's dad, Mr. Christian Grey. They both assured me that they gave him their appointment letters for him to sign and that he said he would come, but I find it very inconsiderate of him not to let me know.

I remove my big black witch's hat and get to work. Being a second grade teacher at a private school wasn't my first choice in careers. I always wanted to be in publishing, but the opportunity presented itself and I needed to leave Montesano, so I took it.

Now it has become something I love. I had no idea when I took this job that I would become so invested in the children. I try not to get attached to them, but it has proven to be quite difficult. At just twenty two, I feel like I have fifteen seven year olds.

…

"Ana you're still here," Ralph, from buildings and grounds, says entering my room.

I frown looking at the time and it is fifteen after five.

"I'm leaving now," I tell him, quickly getting my things together. "I totally lost track of time."

"Have a good weekend," he tells me and I laugh.

"I don't know about that," I tell him. "I 'm taking a speech class tonight and it starts in exactly one hour and I just know I'm going to be late."

"Well maybe she'll give a fellow teacher a break," Ralph tells me.

"I sure hope so," I tell him as I rush out the door.

I decided to take a course in public speaking at Seattle Community College. I have always been shy and I dread speaking in public, not very good traits to have, if I plan on continuing my career in education. I am taking steps to improve myself starting with this speech class.

My friend Charlotte took the course last semester and she was raving about how great the Instructor, Ros Bailey, was. I figured I would give it try since it's only on an hour on Fridays.

I make it to class without a moment to spare and I take the last available seat right in front of the professor's desk.

A moment after I sit down a man comes in and makes his way to the desk a few feet from where I am sitting. I frown at him wondering what happened to Ros Bailey who Charlotte said was a beautiful red haired woman. He looks at me, taking note of my frown and his eyes darken. In response, I quickly look away cursing my shyness.

"Good evening," He says, speaking loud and clear. "Ros Bailey, who normally teaches this class, had a family obligation and she asked me to take over for her this semester. My name is Mr. Christian Grey. You may call me simply, Mr. Grey."

 _Mr. Christian Grey!_

 _Crap!_

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 **Author's Note:**

 **Thank you for taking time to read and review.**


	2. Professor Grey

**Enjoy!**

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Two**

 **Professor Grey**

 **Christian's POV**

"Hey Ted, Pheebs, how was school today," I ask them as they come running into my office at Grey House with Taylor hot on their heels.

"Pretty good dad," my son answers and his sister agrees. Taylor puts their book bags and candy bags down in a chair.

"Now what did I tell you two about letting Taylor carry all of your things," I scold them.

"Not to," they say in unison.

"Sorry T Man," Teddy tells Taylor and gives him a high five. I have to refrain from rolling my eyes.

 _I really have to stop letting Elliot and Kate babysit them._

"What are you working on Daddy," Pheebs asks me.

"Come here and I'll show you," I tell her. "You want to help Daddy?"

I lift her up and put her on my lap.

"It's just a bunch of numbers," she says, disappointed.

Teddy walks around my desk to look at the computer.

"It's a spread sheet," he says and I nod.

Upon hearing that, Pheebs disengages herself from us and runs over to get some candy out of her candy bag.

"Want some Daddy," she asks me as she opens up a roll of sweet tarts.

"No thank you, Babydoll," I tell her. "And don't eat too much of that. I don't want you spoiling your dinner."

"Are you going to eat with us," she asks me, looking so hopeful. It's been hard on them this last year. I try to make it home for dinner every night, but most nights I fall short of that goal.

"Daddy has a class to teach tonight," I tell her. "But Uncle Eli and Auntie Kate are taking you over to Grandma and Grandpa's so you can all eat together."

"Okay," she says disappointed.

"You're a teacher, like Ms. Steele," Teddy asks me.

"Not really like her," I tell him. "I'm just helping out Ros. Now that she has the new baby, she needs to spend a lot of time at home with him."

"He's so cute," Pheebs says.

"Yes he is," I laugh.

Ros and her wife, Gwen, have been trying to adopt for nearly a year now and they finally have their baby boy Tyler. He is two months old and adorable.

"Ms. Steele asks us if you were coming to parent/teacher conference," Ted tells me.

"I wouldn't miss it," I tell him. "I'll drop her a email to let her know."

"Mr. Grey, your sister in law is here to see you," Andrea buzzes in to tell me.

"Send her in," I tell her.

"Hey you little rag weeds," Kate says coming into my office.

"Hi Auntie, Kate," they say excited.

"Come on get your stuff, Uncle Elliot is double parked," she tells them.

They hurry and kiss me goodbye and get their things.

"Wait for me by the elevators," I hear her say to them in the hall before she comes back in to talk to me.

"Are you coming to our Halloween party tomorrow night," she asks me.

"Don't count on it," I tell her. "I want to take the kids trick or treating."

"Come over after. Elliot really wants you there," she tells me. "It will be fun. You are allowed to have fun despite what that bitch wife of yours wants you to believe …"

"Enough Katie," I tell her angrily. "Are you talking like this in front of the kids?"

"You know I wouldn't do that," she tells me. "And stop calling me Katie."

"That is their mother you are bad mouthing," I tell her.

"I know she's their mother, even if she has forgotten that little fact," Kate barks at me. "I didn't come up here to talk about her. I came to ask you to please rejoin the living and come over tomorrow night."

"We'll see," I tell her. "No promises. And I will call you Katie if I want to."

"Jackass," she says to me before she opens the door to leave.

…

 _I can't believe I let Ros talk me into teaching this damn class for her._

I think to myself as I pull into an employee parking space at Seattle Community College. Since it is Taylor's night off, I decide to drive my black Audi R8 Spyder tonight and I've had my share of admiring looks from students as I pulled into the parking lot.

I sit behind the wheel going over a few points I want to hit on tonight before I head to class.

I enter right behind a young girl who takes the seat in front of my desk.

I had been walking behind her for quite a distance and I really tried hard not to stare at her ass. But damn it is an ass you just have to pay attention to, especially when it is wrapped in a pair of perfect fitting black slacks and black fuck me heels that elevates it in such a way that makes it scream out, "Look at me!"

I nearly curse out loud when I see her enter the class I am about to teach. Jesus what a horny pervert I am to be thinking such thoughts about my own student.

In all fairness, I didn't know she was my student and sue me for being horny, it's been eighteen damn months since I got laid and when my divorce is finalized I am going to have a fucking party…literally.

I walk over to my desk. I finally get a look at her face, and damn, it's even better to look at than her ass was.

She is pale and her long chestnut hair is mostly in a neat bun behind her, but her bangs fall around her face framing it perfectly. Her big clear baby blue eyes are staring at me intently and I want to dive into them. For some reason she is frowning at me and I guiltily think she can read my thoughts when she quickly lowers her gaze.

 _Oh the things I can do to you._

 _Fuck, get a grip Grey. She is your student for fuck sakes._

I collect myself and begin.

"Good evening," I say, speaking loud and clear. This is a speech class after all. "Ros Bailey, who normally teaches this class, had a family obligation and she asked me to take over for her this semester. My name is Mr. Christian Grey. You may call me simply, Mr. Grey."

….

 **Ana's POV**

 _Crap, Crap, Crap, this isn't good. I can't take a class that is being taught by my student's father. I'm going to have to drop it. Great, now I am wasting a perfectly good Friday night._

 _Who am I kidding, it's not like I had anything planned anyway. I swear I am the lamest twenty two year old in Seattle._

Mr. Grey has a very commanding presence. The whole class is hanging on his every word as he goes over his expectations with us. People are taking notes, but I don't bother since I'm not coming back after today and what he's saying isn't so unreasonably hard to remember anyway. It's the same things I expect from my students, only I say it so that second graders can understand it, of course.

As he talks on, I take time to study him.

He is tall, muscular judging from the way his tailored dark gray suit is stretched perfectly over him. But he is not beefy thank god. _Thank God? Why do I care?_ He's hair is an unruly mess of copper, and his eyes, I noticed them when he caught my stare, they are a deep smoky gray.

He walks back and forth past my desk as he talks and I get a whiff of him every time he does. Man does he smell good. He has an earthy scent that mixes well with his expensive cologne.

 _I would love for that smell to be all over me._

I bite my lip and squeeze my thighs together to force such thoughts out of my head. What the heck is up with me, he is a teacher for crying out loud! I know better than this.

I push my crazy thoughts away and refocus on what he is saying.

I steal a glance at him again as he moves about the room. I can see the wheels spinning in his head like he is up to something and I recognize that look.

It is the same look Teddy gets when he is about to do something mischievous in class. When I see that look I usually call his name to ward off whatever he was thinking about doing because it usually involves torturing his twin sister, Phoebe, in some way.

"Aww," the class collectively moans as Mr. Grey drops his course syllabus on them.

"So much for an easy class," the boy sitting behind me whispers to himself.

 _Like father like son,_ I think and a giggle escapes my lips before I can stop it from happening.

Mr. Grey stops his lecture for a beat. He glances at me with intense eyes before he continues on.

Now I feel horrible. I really hope he didn't think I was laughing at whatever it was he was saying. I spend the rest of the hour fretting.

When the class is over, I decide to wait and introduce myself to him.

He is with a gaggle of girls at his desk. Apparently they were too blonde to understand anything he said, so he has to explain it to them again.

I roll my eyes at their shameless flirting and the expression was caught by Mr. Grey. I can tell by his angry glare that he didn't much appreciate it.

 _I can't catch a break with this guy._

"Mr. Grey," I say approaching him after his admirers are gone.

"And you are," he says to me so coldly that I swallow hard, trying to clear the lump in my throat. His eyes darken as he waits for me to speak.

"Muh...my name is Anastasia Steele," I begin. "I am..."

"Miss Steele," he interrupts. "I don't know what type of games you are used to playing or what teachers you are used to dealing with, but this class will be taken seriously. I will not tolerate disruptive giggling or disrespectful eye rolling."

"If you would give me a moment to explain myself," I start but he interrupts me again.

"It was all quite clear in your behavior in class tonight," he tells me. "All I need to know now is if you understand my expectations of you, especially since you didn't even bother to write them down."

"Yes, I understand perfectly well, Mr. Grey," I tell him squaring my shoulders and visibly pissed off now. _Who the hell does he think he is?_ "You needn't worry, I won't be a disruption to your class any longer, enjoy the rest of your night."

With that I walk away from that jerk without a backwards glance, glad to be done with that class and with him. I wouldn't care if I never saw him again.

But as I pull away from the school my heart drops to my stomach.

I will be seeing him again and probably quite often, at least until his kids move on to the third grade next year.

….

 **Christian's POV**

 _Anastasia Steele._

Her name has been rolling around in my head since she uttered it over five hours ago.

I couldn't even concentrate on my lecture tonight. I kept passing her desk just to get a look at her.

That giggle. The sound of it nearly knocked me on my ass.

The look of her biting that pink plump lower lip, I completely lost focus when I was speaking and I never do that. I have spoken in front of Dignitaries, Senators, CEO's and my share of beautiful women and never have I been so distracted.

Why am I so thrown off of my game by a girl who looks like she is barely legal?

And that fucking eye roll!

I don't understand how that simple action pissed me off and turned me on all at the same damn time. I wanted to throw her on my desk and make her scream out in pain and pleasure alike.

 _Anastasia Steele._

She barely got her name out before I laced into her. I hate I had to be short with her, but I couldn't let her see how much she was affecting me. She is my student for fuck sakes.

But what did she mean when she said I wouldn't have to worry about her any longer? She didn't seem to be too intimidated by me. I'm sure she wouldn't drop a class because a professor was short with her? Well if that's the case, maybe it would be best if she goes.

…..

I check on Teddy and Phoebe before I head off to bed and they are both sleeping soundly. They may be twins but they are complete opposites.

Phoebes' room is decked out in nothing but pink and decorated with every Disney princess in existence. The one from that Frozen movie being her favorite at the moment, but that could change depending on the next Disney movie that comes out.

Teddy's room is a navy blue with solar system themes all around. His ceiling is peppered with glow in the dark moons and planets and his night light is a moon that can change to show the different lunar phases.

Teddy likes numbers and Phoebe likes words. But they both love their Auntie Kate and Grandma Grace. Mom thinks it's because they miss their mother, my wife of seven years, Jessica Grey.

I shake the thought of her away. I don't want to think about her tonight. I will never get to sleep.

I don't know why I bother to try though, in all honesty, this bed is much too big and this room is much too quiet for me to sleep.

I toss and turn in a futile effort to get comfortable. I lay still and let my mind drift and of course it wonders over to a blue eyed girl with pale skin and long brown hair.

 _"Mr. Grey," she begins._

 _"Christian," I correct her._

 _"Christian," she says my name and I moan from the sound of it coming off of her lips. "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for…"_

 _"For what," I ask her. "For distracting me because you are so damn sexy. For making me want you. What is it exactly that you are sorry for?"_

 _"I….I don't..." she stammers_

 _I stalk up to her, take her in my arm and press my lips into hers. She moans into my mouth opening hers slightly so that I may taste._

 _I slip my tongue inside and I nearly cum from the taste of her. She tastes so sweet and with a hint of mint from her toothpaste._

 _"Tell me you want me," I ask of her._

 _"I want you," she tells me with no hesitation and I kiss her again._

 _"Christian," she moans out. "Make love to me."_

 _I lay her naked on the bed and enter her._

 _"You feel so good," I moan out._

 _"Daddy," she says._

 _"Mmmm that's right baby," I moan. "I'm your Dadd…"_

Wait….what?

"Good morning Daddy," Teddy and Phoebe's voices penetrate my dream.

 _SHIT!_

I open my eyes with a start and look around.

"Can we have pumpkin pancakes for breakfast," Phoebe says looking down at me with her blue and white Frozen themed pajamas on.

"Of course we can," I tell her rubbing my eyes. "Give daddy a minute and I will be right out okay."

"Okay, can we go watch cartoons, then," Teddy asks with his mine craft pajamas on.

 _"_ Sure go ahead," I tell them.

I'll call you when breakfast is ready," I say to their backs as they run out of the room.

I get out of bed and head to the showers.

I turn the water until it's tepid. Normally I like it hot, but this boner I am having right now is painful and it is begging for release. I let the cool water run over me trying to shake the dream I was just awakened from.

I want so desperately to jack off like a horny teenager, but no way in hell can I do that when my kids are in the room outside, hungry, and waiting for daddy's pumpkin pancakes.

I will myself back under control, finish up my shower and make my way to the kitchen.

I have gotten very good at cooking for the kids. They love my pancakes.

Gail, my house manager, taught me how to make them and I experimented, adding bananas once, then blueberries another time, and the kids loved them. I did it with pumpkin the start of fall and they ate them up. Now every weekend, I find myself making them at least once. I may not get to eat dinner with them every night, but we are always together for breakfast.

I call the kids to wash their hands and set the table.

They do not need any prompting from me to dig in and start eating.

I hide my laugh with my coffee cup when I see Phoebe try to stuff a fork full of pancake in her mouth and gets syrup all over her chin.

"Cut the pieces smaller, Babydoll," I tell her and she nods doing just what I asked of her.

"Dad," Teddy begins and I give him my attention. "What does cheating mean?"

"Wha..Why do you ask that Ted," I asked him, shocked by the question.

"Well," he says. "Erick heard his mom told his dad that the reason mom is not here anymore is because of cheating. What does it mean? Is it the same thing like Ms. Steele tells us not to do?"

"Not exactly," I start. "Well sort of. It's a very bad thing to do. It's very wrong to cheat."

"Which one of you is bad," Phoebe says to me, "you or mommy?"

 _Shit_

"Neither one of us are bad, Babydoll," I quickly tell her. "And both mommy and daddy love you two very much. Now this is supposed to be a fun day. So what do you want to do? We have a lot of time before we go trick or treating."

"Can we go in the helicopter," Teddy asks me and Phoebe gets excited.

"Sure we can," I tell them. "You two go get dressed."

They run off to get ready and I take deep breaths to calm down. I was completely caught off gaurd.

I knew I would have to talk to them about this eventually but I wasn't prepared for it today.

I go to my home office and shoot off a text to Jess. That is the only way I can stand to communicate with her these days. I still cannot bring myself to listen to the sound of voice.

 **Me: Jess, will you please tell Patricia to watch what she says. Erick heard her talking about us and cheating to Roger.**

 **Jess: I already talked to her about it. I'm sorry. How are they?**

 **Me: Upset. And thanks for giving me a fucking heads up about it.**

 **Jess: We should talk to them.**

 **Me: I already have. I talk to them every damn day. You can talk to them when they come and visit you.**

 **Jess: Fine. What did you tell them?**

 **Me: I told them cheating was wrong.**

 **Jess: That's all.**

 **Me: That's all they need to know right now. I'm taking them in the helicopter today. That should help get their minds off things.**

 **Jess: You know I hate when you take them up in that thing.**

 **Me: I really don't give a damn what you hate anymore Jess.**

 **Jess: I am still their mother. Do not forget that.**

 **Me: I am not the one who forgot my responsibilities.**

 **Jess: When are you going to stop throwing that in my face?**

 **Me: When you stop acting like the damn victim!**

I stop texting her before I reduce myself to acting twelve year old.

I turn off my phone and get ready to have a great Halloween with the kids.

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 **Author's Note:**

 **Thank you for the positive response to this story and thank you for all of your favorites, follows, and reviews.**


	3. Fun Day

**Please Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Fun Day** **October 31, 2015**

 **Christian's POV**

"Higher Daddy, higher," Pheebs squeals from her seat in Charlie Tango.

I smile as I raise the helicopter up just a little higher causing her to squeal again. Her brother grimaces. No doubt his little ears are hurting just as much as mine are.

I fly the kids to Vancouver so that they may visit the big pumpkin patch the WSU Farming Division has set up near the school's campus.

"Sophie," Pheebs says in surprise when she's sees Taylor's daughter, along with him and Gail, waiting for us at the entrance of the pumpkin patch.

I've invited them to join us since Sophie lives in Vancouver with her mom. They've all been asking Taylor and me if they could play together since last week.

Seven year old Sophie waves excitedly at me and the twins as we approach and we wave back at her.

"Come on lets go see the pumpkins," she says to them and they all run off.

"Guards are placed discreetly around the grounds, Sir," Taylor assures me.

"Thank you Taylor," I tell him. I nod at Gail and she smiles at me. "Let's go see the pumpkins."

We spend a few hours at the pumpkin patch letting the kids ride on the rides and get their faces painted before they picked out pumpkins to take home.

We are sitting having lemonade and turkey sandwiches at the little deli they've set up, along with pumpkin spice cake for dessert.

"You ask them," Teddy whispers too loudly to Sophie at the table and we all hear him.

Sophie shakes her head vigorously.

"Pheebs, you ask," Sophie whispers just as loud as Teddy causing Taylor and I to smirk at each other wondering what they are up to.

Gail grins quietly so I assume she already knows what it's all about.

"Well Pheebs," I ask her and her warm brown eyes get big as saucers now that she is on the spot.

"Um," she says, scratching the top of her little nose and tucking her fly away brown hair behind her ears. "Can Sophie come tricka treatin with us and spend the night?"

"I don't see why not," I tell them, "If it's okay with your mom and dad, Sophie."

"Pleeeaasse," they all sing to Taylor and he laughs.

...

We all fly back in Charlie Tango. Now we are made to endure both Phoebe and Sophie squealing in our cans as we head back to Seattle.

The six of us carve their pumpkins as we munch on the oatmeal cookies Gail baked. We sit the jack o lanterns out on the balcony with no flame candles inside.

The sun will set in a few hours, so the kids run and put on their costumes for trick or treating.

We go to their favorite hang out, the Natural History Museum, first. Tonight, it is by reservation only for Halloween. The kids are allowed to go around the dimly lit decorated halls with flashlights and the workers give out candy.

I let the kids roam a bit down one of the long hallways. Where another worker is there waiting to give them candy.

I notice Phoebe and Teddy talking animatedly to the worker and I shake my head. I hope they are not talking the poor woman's ear off. I see her shaking her head no at them. Then each takes hold of one of her hands and pulls her toward me. I become concerned so I begin to walk to them myself.

I stop short when I see who she is.

She is wearing a Monarch Butterfly costume.

I'm sure it wasn't her intention, but those damn wings make her look like she's one of the Victoria's Secret Angels walking the fashion runway.

Her hair is in a fancy bun on top of her head and her pale skin is sparkly with glitter.

 _Fuck! She is more beautiful than I imagined her to be in my head._

"Daddy, look who it is," Teddy says excited.

"Miss. Steele," I say to her as they approach. I wonder for a moment how the kids know her and then it hits me like a bolt of lightning.

"Hello, Mr. Grey," she says to me nervously.

"Christian," I tell her.

"Christian," she says. My dream did not do her voice justice.

The kids become distracted and run off with Taylor right behind them.

"I didn't realize you worked here," I tell her, never seeing her before.

"I'm just helping out a friend," she tells me.

"A friend," I ask her and she nods.

"Charlotte," she tells me. "She's the curator."

"I see," I tell her. "Miss. Steele…"

"Ana, please," she tells me.

"Ana," I say her name and she swallows hard making me shift uncomfortably in an effort to control my body's reaction. "I want to apologize for yesterday. I was…..not feeling like myself and I took it out on you."

"Well," she giggles. _Christ, she is killing me here_. "I wasn't exactly being a model student. I apologize for being disruptive, it really wasn't my intention. I do know better."

"I imagine you would," I laugh, "being a teacher yourself. I had no idea. I didn't pick up on your name. You look so young. I thought elementary school teachers were…uh…."

She raises an eyebrow to challenge me and I clear my throat.

"I didn't realize you all had gotten…less matronly," I tell her.

"I'm twenty two," she tells me. "Not eighteen. Don't worry. Teddy and Phoebe are in good hands."

"I don't doubt it," I tell her.

Teddy comes and stands next to us waiting to be acknowledged so that he may speak. He doesn't interrupt and I have to wonder if she taught him that since he's never done it before with me.

"Teddy," she says, giving him permission to speak. _Yup she taught him._

"Can we go and get the pizza now," he asks, not addressing either one of us in particular.

"Sure son," I tell him. I really don't want this little conversation with her to end, but I can't very well ask her to come along.

"You too Ms. Steele," he tells her. _Atta boy Teddy, help your old man out._

"Oh no, I couldn't intrude on your Halloween," she says to him, putting her hand on top of his head to ruffle his copper colored hair.

"But you're not," he pleads with her. "Daddy likes you. He never talks to girls this long, except Grandma Grace, but she doesn't count."

Ana looks at me. I give her my best panty dropping smile. She actually blushes.

"My treat," I tell her and she smiles.

"Okay," she says.

We wait while she talks for a moment to a blonde who I assume is Charlotte, before we all walk over to the children's center where they have a Chuck E Cheese restaurant.

I order the kids a pizza. While Ana, Taylor, and I opt for Italian subs.

Thank fuck for Taylor who quickly catches on and keeps the kids supplied with game tokens while Ana and I sit at the table.

"I'm sorry I'm so boring," she tells me after we sit in silence for what she must feel is too long. "I'm not much of a talker."

"You're nowhere close to boring," I tell her. "I don't talk much either. I would ask you to tell me something about yourself, but I get the impression that you wouldn't like that."

"Not at all," she says and I laugh.

"Is that why you're in the speech class," I ask her and she nods.

"I dread public speaking," she tells me. "I've always been a little shy."

"But you speak to your class," I tell her.

"Kids are different," she says to me and I nod

"I know what you mean, but for me it's the opposite," I tell her. "I could speak to a room full of adults. Senators, Ministers, The Pope, The President, no problem, but put me in a room full of kids and I choke."

"I don't believe it," she tells me.

"I swear its true," I tell her.

"Why," she asks me.

"They are too damn honest, and they have no filter," I tell her. "Those little guys will cut you open and leave you bleeding out on the floor."

She giggles. I shift uncomfortably in my seat willing my body to calm down.

"Food," the kids scream as they come barreling to the table. Ana gives them little saniwipes she had in her pocket to clean their hands before they eat. Taylor and I grab one for ourselves.

Phoebe and Teddy purposely sit on either side of Ana while Sophie sits next to Taylor.

Gone is the girl that was just uneasy talking to me. She is completely relaxed with my kids. She now falls into easy conversation and I'm allowed to talk to her more freely.

I managed to find out that she is from Montesano and that she graduated from WSU before Teddy, Sophie, and Phoebe, hearing that bit of news, start telling her about the pumpkin patch we went to there.

She listens to them all intently as she subtly helps Phoebe with her large slice of pizza, seeming aware that my baby girl has a bit of trouble with eating sometimes.

I stare at her unabashed until I hear Taylor clear his throat.

He is grinning like a damn Cheshire cat and I would give him the finger if not for three pairs of little eyes around me and one pair of beautiful powder blue ones.

…

The kids cheer us on as Ana and I compete to see who can shot the most hoops in a basketball toss game.

I challenged her to it and I'm glad I did. She was absolutely relentless in her quest to win. She was knocking in shots that would keep Michael Jordan on his toes.

"You let me win," she tells me after she scores the winning shot.

"No way," I tell her honestly. "I am much too competitive for that. You beat me."

"Yaaah," she says softly clapping her hands and Taylor grins, amused.

In a few hours the kids have enough tickets to buy a few of the trinkets they have on display. Sophie and Phoebe both get the purple castle pencil topper and Teddy opts for the white Dracula teeth.

"This was fun," Ana tells me as we walk back to the natural history section of the museum.

The kids and Taylor say their goodbyes to us and go off to the SUV. Taylor will take them back home as I am going to Kate and Elliot's Halloween party. I am absolutely dreading it.

"Ana, are you ready to go," Charlotte says as she approaches us, dressed like who I believe is Cleopatra.

"I'm ready," Ana says. "Charlotte Ramsey, this is Christian Grey."

"Yes, Mr. Grey," Charlotte says shaking my hand. "My father speaks highly of you, Charles Ramsey."

"Of course," I tell her. I've done business with good old Charles for years before he retired. "Give him my best."

"I will," she says to me smiling. Her eyes linger on me a bit too long, clearly checking me out. I look at Ana who doesn't seem at all happy with our little friendly exchange.

 _No need to worry, I'm all yours baby._

"So," I say. "Where are you two lovely ladies dressed up to go tonight?"

"There is a party tonight in Bellevue," Charlotte tells me.

"That sounds like fun," I tell her.

"You should come," she says to me, she takes out a piece of paper and writes down the address. "We don't know whose party it is. We are totally crashing it."

Ana shakes her head at her friend's confession.

I raise an eyebrow at my naughty girl and she shrugs innocently at me.

Ana motions for her to leave.

"Hope to see you there," Charlotte tells me and walks away.

"Party crashing," I tease Ana.

"Under duress," she tells me. "It was either that or face being taunted about ending up a sixty year old spinster living with a hoard of cats."

I laugh.

"We wouldn't want that," I tell her and she shakes her head no. "Have fun at your party, Miss. Steele."

"Thank you Mr. Grey," she smiles at me and walks away.

Outside, I hop in the SUV where Ryan, my CPO for tonight is waiting for me.

I check the address that Charlotte gave me and smile.

"Back to Escala, Sir," Ryan asks me.

"No," I tell him. "There's a party at my brother's place."

"Yes, Sir," he acknowledges, and then pulls the car in traffic to take me to Bellevue.

…..

"I may be a while," I tell Ryan when he pulls up into the drive to let me out. "I'll call you when I'm ready."

"Understood, Sir," he tells me.

I can hear the Monster Mash song playing as I walk past the elaborate decorations meant to scare. I walk into the open door and I smile thinking how easy it's going to be for Ana to sneak in.

"Bro, you made it," Elliot says to me as he hands me a beer. "Who are you suppose to be?"

"A CEO on vacation," I tell him as I smooth down my red and white Hawaiian shirt.

He laughs.

"Cool, Dude," he tells me.

Kate comes up next to him complimenting his Clyde Barrow costume with her Bonnie Parker one.

"Good to see you, Grey," she tells me.

"Thanks for having me," I tell them. "I'm going to go mingle."

I leave them with shocked faces at my words as I make my way through the crowded house of people dancing and drinking.

My eyes spot her immediately.

She is standing talking to some fucker with a red solo cup in his hand. He towers over her and it looks like he is pumping in way too many steroids, the size of his arms are like watermelons.

He creeps forward towards Ana causing her to keep backing up. Pretty soon she is going to be smack up against the glass patio wall.

"Hey, baby," I tell her kissing her cheek. She looks at me in surprise and it quickly turns to gratitude.

"Hey," she says.

I hand her the beer in my hand and surprisingly she chugs it.

"Come on," I tell her and lead her away.

Steroid guy stands cock blocked and pissed until some other poor girl in a sexy nurse costume catches his eye.

"Thank you," she says to me as we find a spot on the couch to sit down. "I really didn't want to knee that guy."

"No problem," I tell her being glad I saved her knee.

"You came," she says, as it suddenly dawns on her that I'm here at the party she crashed.

"I am also here under duress," I tell her. "My sister in law forced me to come and if I didn't, there would have been hell to pay."

"Your sister in law," she says.

"It's her party," I tell her.

"Kate Kavanaugh is you sister in law," she says to me.

"You know Kate," I say to her, surprised at this revelation.

"She was my senior buddy at WSU my first year," she tells me. I don't know what that means but I'm sure my sister in law will tell me when I pick her brain about Ana later.

 _Well fuck she knows Kate. More importantly, Kate knows her._

The song Love Potion No 9 starts and Ana smiles when she hears it.

"You want to dance," I ask her.

"Oh, I don't really dance very well," she tells me.

"Nonsense," I tell her getting up and putting her beer on the nearby end table.

I place her hands around my neck. I put mine around her waist and she goes stiff from my touch.

"Just relax," I tell her.

I pull her hips into me and we being to move. Her hips are now moving in sync with mine which I quickly realize is not the best idea as I start to grow hard. I step back just a bit allowing her to move more freely on her own.

She laughs as she messes up our rhythm and I grab hold of her to set the pace again.

"You're getting good at this," I tell her as she picks it up.

"I have a great teacher," she tells me.

"Coming from you, that is quite the compliment," I tease her.

 _Damn I love watching her move._

All too soon the song ends. She resumes our pervious place on the couch while I go and get us something to drink.

"Nice moves bro," Elliot says to me. "She's hot."

"She's the kid's teacher," I tell him.

"Get the fuck out," he tells me.

"Get the fuck out about what," Kate says joining us.

"Babe, why didn't you tell me your Ana friend was the twin's teacher," he asks Kate.

"Hell, I didn't even know," Kate says. "The last I heard from Ana she was going into publishing. Now she has a new name and new career."

"What do you mean," I ask her.

"Well she was Ana Lambert in college," I tell her.

"Maybe she got married," Elliot shrugs.

"Nope she didn't," Kate says and we look at her. "What?"

"Spill it Blondie," I tell her and she dramatically pretends to lock her lips and throw away the imaginary key.

"Better get back to her bro before someone else stakes a claim," Elliot says.

"We are just friends," I tell him, but I hurry back to her all the same.

"Uh huh," I hear Elliot laugh behind me, not buying my BS for a minute.

"Thanks," she says taking the cup and sipping it. "Whoa, that's strong."

I sip mine and fuck she's right, it is much too strong. I scowl at Elliot who lifts up his cup to me.

"Yeah that went straight to my head," she tells me.

"Have you eaten anything since the subs," I ask her and she shakes her head.

"I know coffee shop that's open late," I tell her. "Let's go get something and then I'll take you home if you want."

"Oh I don't think…" she stammers. "I'll be fine."

"I won't bite," I tell her. "Besides I have a body guard who is ex army. If I step out of line, just let him know and he will drop kick my ass to the ground."

"Okay," She laughs. She looks around for Charlotte but is unable to find her. She shoots her a text and I call Ryan to bring the car around.

"Hey what's this," Elliot says as before we make it to the door. "You leaving us already?"

"Afraid so big bro," I tell him.

"Together," he says and I roll my eyes.

"Ana, I'll call you," Kate says with the save. "We'll go out and catch up."

"Okay great," Ana says and they hug.

….

I watch as she dips her tea bag in the cup of hot water for a second and scoops it back out.

"I like it weak," she tells me by way of an explanation. "Just my tea, I mean."

She blushes.

"What I wouldn't give to know what just made you blush," I tell her peeling off the paper of my blue berry muffin.

She suddenly becomes very interested in her coffee cake.

She looks at my hand that is wrapped around my coffee mug. She sees the pale line of my wedding ring that I just recently took off and frowns.

"We're separated," I tell her, reading her thoughts.

"Oh," she says, and I can hear the disappointment in her voice finding out I'm married. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I tell her. "It's for the best."

"Teddy and Phoebe never mention their mom," she tells me.

"I guess they really don't know what to say," I tell her. "It hasn't been easy on them."

"It never is," she says sadly.

"Were you married, Ana," I ask her.

"No," she tells me.

"Its just that you sounded like you spoke from experience," I tell her.

"My parents divorced when I was younger," she tells me. "It got pretty bad."

"I'm sorry," I tell her and she shakes it off.

"I should probably get home," she says and I nod.

She gives Ryan the address which I am pleased to know is very near Escala in the Pike Place district.

Ryan is waiting outside for me to give the signal to let him open the door to let us out.

"You know I have to admit," I tell her. "This day started out bad for me, but it turned out to be the best Halloween I've had in a long time."

"Me too," she smiles at me. "I usually dread holidays and stuff like that. It just depresses me, but I really had a great time with you….and the kids."

She adds the last part quickly and I smile at her.

...

"Maybe we can do this again sometime," I ask her as I walk her to her door.

"I wouldn't mind hanging out with you again," she tells me. "I mean, I think it's important to….uh...get to know my student's parents."

"Point well made, Miss. Steele," I tell her, remembering how awkward this could get for them if I start dating their teacher.

"I think it's important to get to know my student's as well," I tell her and she frowns.

 _Wrong move, Grey._

"Do you make it a habit of….getting to know your students," she says to me.

"Seeing as though this is my first time having any, I would have to say no," I tell her.

"Right," she laughs. "I forgot about that."

"Good night, Ana," I kiss her on her cheek. I linger a moment inhaling the scent of her hair.

"Good night, Christian," she says. I wait for her to walk into her apartment before I head back to the SUV.

I climb in and something catches my eye. I look over at where she was just sitting and I smile at the butterfly wings she left on her seat.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you all for reading and reviewing.**


	4. Butterflies

**Please Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Four**

 **Butterflies**

 **...**

 **Christian's POV**

"Sir," Taylor greets me as I step into the foyer. "I'll lock the elevator. Everything else is secure."

"You are supposed to be off tonight, Taylor," I tell him.

"Old habits," he says.

"Did the kids give Mrs. Beachum a hard time," I ask him of the babysitter.

"They were perfect angels," he tells me of our kids, and like me, I feel he is biased. "Nice wings, Sir."

"Goodnight, Taylor," I tell him purposely ignoring his wing comment.

"See you in the morning, Sir," he tells me.

I go into the media room to check on the kids and find that they are all sound asleep on their pallet cushions spread out across the floor. I turn the TV down low and close the door.

I head off to my room and place Ana's wings in a cabinet in my walk in closet.

Unable to wipe the ridiculous grin off of my face, I quickly shower and hop into bed, knowing that a blue eyed beauty may just invade my dreams again tonight.

…

 **APOV**

"I can't believe you ditched me," Charlotte tells me as I lay in bed talking to her on my cell phone.

"I did not ditch you," I tell her feeling guilty because I did in fact ditch her. "I wasn't feeling well, so Christian took me to get something to eat."

"It's 'Christian' now is it," she teases. "So he is no longer that…what did you call him…that 'jack assed tyrannical professor that's teaching speech class'?"

I laugh.

"Nope," I tell her.

"So are you two doing the thing or what," she asks me.

"No," I tell her.

"Why," she asks me.

"I am his kid's teacher," I tell her.

"And," she says.

"And he is my professor," I tell her. _Not to mention married._

"But you are dropping the class right," she asks me.

"I am," I tell her. "I think it's for the best. That and us just being friends."

"Okay, well if that's the case," she starts. "You wouldn't mind if I went after him then?"

"I wouldn't mind at all," I tell her. "I hope you don't mind not being able to walk for six weeks, because I would break both your legs."

"Damn Ana," she laughs. "You are such a bitch. Remind me not to cross you."

"I will," I tell her.

"Well at least one of us got lucky," she tells me. "I ended up having to dodge some obnoxious buff dude named Biff all night."

I cringe thinking about that idiot.

"Goodnight, Char," I tell her.

"Sweet dreams," she tells me.

I pray they will be sweet tonight. I get up and check my front door and my alarm one last time before I allow myself to sleep.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I wake up after sleeping through the night peacefully for the first time in months.

I look at the clock and it reads seven a.m. I wonder why the kids haven't come in to wake me up yet. They rarely sleep past six.

I get up to go and check on them and I see that they themselves are just waking up. I guess last night really wore them out.

"Morning guys," I tell them as they yawn and stretch. "Get dressed and we'll go out for breakfast."

"Okay," they tell me and I leave them to get ready.

I head to the security office to request a favor from one of my CPOs before I get dressed myself.

"Good morning, Mr. Grey," Gail says to me as I pass the kitchen.

"Good morning Gail," I greet her.

"Would you like me to make you and the kid's some breakfast," she asks me.

"Not this morning, Gail. I'll take them all out," I tell her. "Enjoy your day off."

I leave her to enjoy her morning in peace while I go and talk to my security guard, Reynolds

…

"Dr. Trevelyan- Grey, to see you, Sir," Taylor announces my mother.

"Oh Taylor, really," she gently scolds him, coming into the great room of the penthouse. "After all these years, you'd think I could simply enter the room without it being such an event."

"Let him alone, Mother," I get up from reading the Sunday paper to great her. I kiss her quickly on each cheek. "He's just doing his job. On his day off," I remind him and he quickly leaves.

"How are you, my sweet dear," she asks me.

"I'm doing well," I tell her honestly.

"You look well," she says eyeing me up and down. "You look rested and less stressed. Did you and the kids have a good time yesterday?"

"We had a wonderful time," I tell her. "They were very pleased with their candy haul."

She laughs.

"Oh I remember those days," she tells me. "You and your brother and sister were knee deep in candy for weeks afterwards. The time goes so fast. You must enjoy every moment with them, Christian."

"I promise I will," I assure her.

"I wish I could say the same for Jess," she starts, shaking her head in disgust.

"Mother," I scold her.

"Don't mother me," she tells me, lowering her voice. "I want to throttle…."

"Grandma Grace," Teddy and Phoebe run to her.

"Good morning my Darlings," she says to them, giving them big hugs.

"Hello Dr. Travelian," little Sophie greets her and mangles the first half of our surname.

"Hello, Dear, aren't you sweet," mom smiles at her. "And so polite and formal just like your Daddy, Christian isn't she just like her father?"

"She sure is," I agree with her and Sophie beams at our compliment.

Speaking of the devil, he comes out of the security room.

"Sophie," Taylor calls to her. "Why don't we let Dr. Trevelyan visit…"

"Oh no, no, Taylor it's quite alright," she tells him. "I was actually coming to pick the kids up to take them out. Maybe have breakfast if they haven't eaten and do a little toy shopping. See a movie matinee. I would love for Sophie to join us."

"Yes," Teddy says fist pumping the air while the girls bounce happily up and down.

Taylor and I look at each other.

There is no way in hell either one of us can say no to that and not be faced with three crying and quite possibly tantruming seven year olds.

"Let Anderson know the kids are leaving," I tell Taylor and he nods.

"Why can't we just use my CPO," mom asks me.

"Because they're too many of you for just one, Mother," I explain to her and she nods in understanding.

"Don't let them fill up on sweets," I tell her as they enter the elevator with Anderson."

"Aw Daaad," the kids moan at me.

"Thank you," I mouth to mom as the elevator doors close and she blows me a kiss.

I exhale deeply thinking of what Ana told me. The fact the twins never talk about their mother is a big red flag that I am going to have to deal with sooner rather than later.

…

 **Ana's POV**

I wake up late morning with the sun and a smile on my face. I dreamt of copper hair and gray eyes holding me while we danced last night.

I pad to the kitchen and put on a pot for tea. Feeling hungry, I whip up some eggs and fry a few strips of bacon.

I'm just about to dig in when my doorbell rings.

I look through the peephole to see a delivery man with flowers.

"Yes," I say opening the door slightly with the metal chain still fastened.

"Delivery for a Anastasia Steele," he tells me.

"That's me," I tell him.

I am about to tell him to leave them outside the door when my neighbor, Jose, opens his front door directly across the hall from mine.

"Oooo nice flowers," he says and I can tell he's been spying through his peephole again. I open my door and beckon Jose in.

"Would you like me to sit them down inside for you Ma'am, they are kind of heavy," he asks me, holding the flowers in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other.

"Um, no I'm sure I can take them," I tell him. He hands the potted flowers over to me. "Let me get you a tip."

"It's been taken care of Ma'am," he tells me as he sits the bag on the floor, being sure not to come inside. "Enjoy the flowers."

"Thank you," I tell him closing and locking the door.

I sit the pot of beautiful orange and yellow Orchids on my coffee table and study them. I look at the card, but I already know who they're from because they are decorated with pretty little Monarch Butterflies.

 _Ana,_

 _I give you these flowers as a thank you for a very wonderful Halloween. The butterflies are to replace the wings you left with me last night. I feel bad for keeping them. A beautiful butterfly should never be without her wings._

 _Christian._

I wondered what happened to those wings. The fact that he wants to keep them makes me smile.

I get the bag and unpack it. There is Orchid food and the water that I will need to take care of them.

"Well, who sent them," Jose asks, impatiently waiting as he polishes off my breakfast. "You didn't want this did you," he asks pointing to the nearly empty plate in his hand.

"No," I tell him absentmindedly as I reread the words on the card.

"The suspense is killing me," he tells me. "Did you give it up to this Christian guy? Cause Char says you gave it up."

"What," I say in disbelief. "She is lying to you my friend."

"So tell me what happened," he says excited. "I want to know everything, before the museum, at the museum, AFTER the museum? And where the hell was I last night?"

"You were with Derrick," I remind him. "And nothing happened, we just hung out."

"Honey, men don't send Orchids like these for just hanging out," he tells me. "You have rocked his world."

"They're just… flowers," I tell him, trying to sound like it's no big deal to me, but the high pitch of my voice when I say the word flowers gives me away.

"Ana, Ana, Ana," he says.

He tuts at me in pity over my lack of understanding.

"These are not just some ole, got 'em from the guy on the corner that keeps them in a plastic bucket of water, flowers," he says. "The man has given you Orchids….rare…..Orchids, from what I can tell you. The man has given you the supplies needed to take care of the rare Orchids so that you wouldn't have to trouble yourself to buy it. The man has…"

He lightly fingers one of the little silk butterflies that match my Halloween costume perfectly. The one he and Derrick dressed me in before they left for their date, no less.

"Oh, Ana," he sniffs, dabbing the corners of his eyes with a napkin for nonexistent tears. "The man has…."

"Okay Look," he says, dropping the theatrics. "The man is sprung, okay, trust me on this. I bet he's thinking up ways right now to see you again."

We are interrupted by a knock on the door and Jose goes to see who it is. I hear him whispering before he moves aside to let whoever it is in.

"Ohhhh wowww," Derrick says holding his hand to his chest as he bee lines the flowers.

"Mmhhmm," José says to him. "I told you."

"Will you two stop it," I say to them. Derrick kisses me on the cheek.

"Ricky, how did you know I was over here anyway," Jose asks Derrick.

"Where else are you when you're not with me," he asks him.

"Now that's true," Jose admits to me and I laugh.

They go off to their art gallery, leaving me to enjoy my Orchids.

….

My face is starting to hurt from the wide smile that I can't seem to get rid of.

I spend the next half hour reading up on how to take care of them and then trying to find the perfect place for them in the apartment.

I settle on letting them sit at the small island separating my little kitchen from my living room since that will give them the right lighting they need. And you can see them when you first walk into the apartment.

Feeling hungry, since I didn't get to eat my breakfast, I decide to get dressed and go back to the coffee shop Christian took me to last night. I liked it there and it's close enough so that I can walk.

….

 **Christian's POV**

"Well," I ask Reynolds as he enters my home office.

"She was very happy with the flowers, Sir," he tells me.

"But," I say, sensing there is something bothering him.

"She was overly cautious with me being a guy just delivering her flowers," he tells me.

"Maybe she's just smart," I tell him. "After all, she is living alone in an apartment."

"She has an alarm and several locks on her door. I offered to come in just to sit the flowers down for her as they were quite heavy and she refused. When I left she made sure to set the alarm and lock all of the locks again," he explains. "It just left me with a bad vibe."

"Shit," I say and he nods.

"Once her male friend arrived, she relaxed a little," he tells me. "But I still got the impression that she wouldn't have even opened the door if…."

"What male friend," I ask him, not at all pleased about hearing this.

"Her neighbor across the hall," he explains. "I believe he heard my exchange with Miss. Steele and he opened his door out of curiosity."

"What makes you think he was a friend," I ask him.

"She invited him in," he tells me. "She was very comfortable with him."

"I see," I tell him.

 _Fuck!_

"That will be all Reynolds, thank you," I tell him.

 _She never mentioned having a boyfriend. But I never asked her either. I'm sure she would have told me._

"Sir," Taylor says, entering my office and pulling me out of my thoughts. "I'm going to pick up Sophie from your mother's and take her back home now."

"Gil can fly you back," I tell him.

"I prefer the drive, Sir," he tells me. "Did you get Reynolds's report on Miss. Steele?"

I nod

"Do you think she's in danger," I ask him.

"It sounds like a reaction to a past danger," he tells me.

"Why the hell would you think that," I ask him.

"When we were with her she didn't seem alarmed," he tells me. "She wasn't looking over her shoulder or jumping at shadows. She let the kids get close to her. From the read I got on her, she is very protective of them. She wouldn't have done that if she thought someone was lurking around waiting to attack her. Even when we first saw her, she was in a dimly lit hallway all on her own."

"I think you're right," I tell him.

"But you could always offer her a CPO," he says.

"And just how the hell am I to do that," I ask him. "What am I to say? Yes I sent you flowers, but I also sent a fake delivery guy over to check your place out and he says you're on a paranoid lock down. Do you want my protection?"

"That could work," Taylor says.

I sigh heavily at him.

"Or," he says, hearing my frustration. "We could just have a guy watch her from afar."

"No," I tell him. "I've known this girl for a day and already I'm invading her life. No."

"Talk to her Sir," Taylor suggests. "Talking usually works with women."

...

 **Ana's POV**

I find a quiet corner in the coffee shop to drink my tea and eat my cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel.

I take out my ipad and decide to email a thank you to Christian for the flowers.

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Thanks for the Orchids.**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **I love them. They have a place of pride in my apartment.**

 **Thanks again,**

 **Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

I take a bite of my bagel when I get a response.

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: You are most welcome**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **For the flowers. I hope they made you smile. Are you at home now?"**

 **Christian Grey**

 **CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: I am actually**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **Sitting at the coffee shop you brought me to last night. My friend Jose ate my breakfast so I came here to grab a little something.**

 **Ms. Anastasia Steele**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Would you mind**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **Company? I'm here alone and I am starving.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 _He wants to see me. Crap I look like shit! Alright be cool Steele._

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Well that won't do.**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **I can't have you starving and I would love the company.**

 **Ms. Anastasia Steele**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: See you in.**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **Ten minutes.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

Okay no big deal, right? It's just a spur of the moment kind of thing. We're just going to eat together, but not eat like a date.

In no way is this remotely anything like a date.

 _Then why are butterflies growing in your stomach at the thought of seeing him again, Ana?_

I smooth my hair back trying to fix my messy braid. I adjust my ill fitting turquoise sweat shirt and dark gray yoga pants, wishing they would magically transform into something designer.

Throwing my hands up in surrender, I decide to leave myself alone and just sip my tea.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you again for following, reading, favoriting, and reviewing.**


	5. RunAway

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Five**

 **RunAway**

 **Ana's POV**

I catch my breath when I see him walking in looking like he just stepped out of a fashion magazine. Even in just blue jeans and a white button down shirt he brings an air of sophistication in the brown rustic coffee shop.

He smiles hello at me before he goes to order, his hair an untamed mess on top of his head, like he just used his fingers to comb through it without care of how it might looked.

I am feeling very self conscience and I am really kicking myself for wearing these yoga pants.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting long," he asks me.

He is carrying a tray with coffee, a cup of oatmeal, a croissant stuffed with ham and cheese, and a strawberry Danish. He sits down opposite me at our small round table.

"Not at all," I tell him.

"You're going to help me eat some of this, right," he asks me.

"I'll take the Danish," I tell him. He smiles and hands it to me.

"I figured you might want it," he tells me.

"Why would you figure that," I ask him before I take a bite. I try not to moan in ecstasy as the warm flakey crust and sweet filling invade my mouth.

"It just makes sense," he says, "since you're so sweet."

I bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing at him and he grins devilishly at the gesture.

"Did that sound as cheesy as I think it did," he ask me and I quickly nod my head yes.

I watch as he leans forward and reaches his hand to my face. I force myself not to recoil from him. He circles my chin with his thumb and forefinger to gently tug my lip free.

I lean back in my chair to escape his grasp. Getting the message, he returns to his side of the table.

"Are you afraid of me Ana," he asks me.

"No. Although, you can be intimidating," I tell him, remembering the first night in class.

"I'm trying very hard not be," he confesses to me.

"I can tell," I tell him. "I appreciate your effort."

 _Jeez, could I sound like any more of a freaking teacher_.

"So why were you home alone," I change the subject.

"The twins are at my parent's house," he tells me.

"Grandma Grace," I remember Teddy telling me.

"That's right," he tells me, "and Grandpa Carrick. I'm surprised you remembered."

"Well, when you hear 'daddy never talks this long to girls', it kind of sticks with you," I joke.

"Mm," he nods in agreement, after sipping his jet black coffee. "You forgot about the 'daddy likes you' part."

 _Don't blush! Do. Not. Blush._

I will myself to stop, but feel the heat on my face anyway.

The spark of amusement that I see in his eyes as a smirk creeps up on his face shows me how miserably I've just failed at the task.

"You're doing it on purpose," I tell him and his brow furrows in question. "Making me blush."

"Guilty," he tells me, smiling slightly at my expense. "You look so damn cute when you blush."

I clear my throat, shifting awkwardly and he grins as I blush again.

"Stop it," I laugh.

He hides his smile behind his coffee cup, while I finish eating my Danish.

His phone goes off four times before he finally looks at it. He rolls his eyes, and turns it off.

"Is something wrong," I ask him fearing he has to leave. I am really enjoying his company.

"That was Elliot, my brother, ranting on about….things. I'm to be at my parent's for Sunday dinner tonight."

"You don't want to go," I ask him.

"Not really," he tells me. "It means I have to endure him and he's….well… him."

"He didn't seem so bad last night, "I tell him.

"You were fortunate enough only get a small dose of him," he tells me.

"Aw, big brothers are notorious for teasing," I tell him. "It's only to hide their true feelings. I'm sure deep down he adores you."

"Ohhh I think you have to dig real deep for adoration," he jokes. "But we are all very close."

"So he's not your only sibling," I ask him.

"I have a sister, Mia," he tells me. "She's the youngest and Elliot is the oldest."

"Ah, you're a middle child," I ask him and he nods. "Does your mother have your hair," I ask him, admiring the color that has been in my head since my dream.

I instantly regret the question when his face falls.

"I'm sorry," tell him. "I didn't mean to pry."

"No, its fine," he tells me sitting straighter in his seat. I feel bad that he is no longer relaxed, but I am curious to know the cause. "My birth mother had dark brown hair. I've always assumed I got my hair from my father, but I can't be sure of that. I really don't know who he is."

"I..I see," I tell him. I wasn't expecting that.

"Grace and Carrick adopted all three of us," he elaborates in an effort to help me disengage my foot from my mouth. "What about you, Ana, do you have any siblings?"

"No, I'm an only child," I tell him. "I wish I did though, it got pretty lonely growing up."

"No cousins," he asks and I shake my head no.

"It was just me and my mom for the most part," I tell him, regretting I even went down this road.

He waits for me to elaborate.

"Uh, my mother, Carla, she was also an only child and she really didn't want kids, so she learned from her mistake the first time," I shrug like calling myself a mistake was no big deal.

He stares angrily at me.

I search for something to say to help lighten the bad mood I've inadvertently pulled us down into.

"What about your father," he asks me. I can hear the venom in his voice, but I know it's not directed at me but at what I've told him.

"He's great," I tell him smiling about my dad. "They both are. My real dad, Frank is in L.A. and I have a step dad, Ray, he's in Montesano still. He's no longer married to my mom, but he's still my dad. They're both great."

"That's good to hear," he tells me feeling better about my situation and I smile.

I could only imagine what was going through his head with my little confession about Carla.

"Why did you move to Seattle," he asks me. "Especially since you don't have family here?"

"Charlotte, my best friend, had just recently moved back here after graduation," I tell him. "I came to help her get settled and I fell in love with the city. Her father got me the job teaching. I was only supposed to fill in for a few months, until I found a job in publishing, but they offered me the position permanently and I fell in love with that too."

"Then you're not planning on moving to L.A. or back to Montesano to be with your family," he asks me and I shake my head no.

"I love it here too much," I tell him truthfully.

"Well that's good," he tells me.

The fact that he seems relieved I'm staying puts me high spirits until I notice his left hand.

I try not to stare at that little pale line encircling it's ring finger but I can't seem to help it.

"Well," I tell him. "I shouldn't keep you. I'm sure you have better things to do than to sit here with me."

"I can't think of a single thing I'd rather be doing right now," he tells me.

I get up to go anyway, and he rises with me.

"Did you drive," he asks me.

"No I walked," I tell him.

"I'll walk with you," he offers, as we go out onto the sidewalk.

"No, that's really not necessary," I tell him. I stop walking because I know he will insist on walking me. "Listen, Christian, thank you again for the flowers and the little butterflies, it was a very thoughtful gift and I love them, really….."

"Why do I feel like you're blowing me off," he asks me. "Why are you running? Is it because I'm married?"

When I don't give him an answer, he guides me to the side in an effort to give us privacy from the few people that are walking past us.

"I know that's a dumb question," he tells me. "Of course it's because I'm married."

"Christian its really none of my business," I tell him. "We're just.."

"She's not waiting at home for me while I'm here with you, Ana," he tells him. "My wife, Jess and I, we…."

...

 **Christian's POV**

I stop as my SUV pulls up so quickly it looks like it might jump the curve.

Instinctively, I pull Ana to me.

She must be concerned as well because she doesn't mind my touch this time.

Reynolds jumps out of the driver's seat and rushes to us.

"Mr. Grey, Sir," he says and abruptly stops to look at Ana.

"What," I yell angrily at him, pissed off at the interruption.

Ana gasps loudly.

For a moment I thought I scared her until I turn to see that she is looking at Reynolds and realization dawns.

 _Fuck she knows I sent him to her apartment_.

"Ana, I can explain," I tell her as she yanks free of me. She begins to slowly back away as if she is afraid to turn her back on the two of us.

I move towards her.

"Stay away from me," she hisses.

Her eyes are wide with fear as they dart around for possible escape routes, or someone to help, if I choose to continue to move toward her.

I stand still, allowing her to put distance between us.

"Ana, just listen to me for a moment," I ask of her.

"No," she tells me. "I don't know what sick game you're playing, but stay the hell away from me."

She turns and runs. I move to go after her but Reynolds calls for my attention again.

"What the fuck are you doing here," I sneer at him. I am about a second from firing his ass.

"I'm sorry Sir, your mom asked me to find you. It's Phoebe," he says. "She's hurt herself. Your mom says she's alright physically, but she is crying for you."

"Shit," I say to him. "Let's go."

I hop in the back of the SUV.

I take out my cell phone to call my mother. I forgot I turned it off earlier.

It alarms like crazy, letting me know I've missed several calls.

"Is she okay," I ask my mom.

"She's fine," she assures me. "She just fell and skinned her knee a little when she was racing with Teddy. I cleaned it and put a band aid on it. It doesn't even hurt anymore. She's in your old room right now with Teddy."

"Thank God," I sigh in relief

"But Christian," she says.

"What is it," I ask her.

"She tried to call you on your cell and when you didn't answer she got terribly upset. Christian, she thought you'd left like her mother. Your father, Teddy and I, we tried to tell her it wasn't so, but she's been inconsolable. I called Escala and Reynolds promised me he would find you."

"Let me talk to her mom," I ask her.

"Alright, hold on a moment, Dear," she tells me.

 _Fuck!_

"Daddy," her tiny voice comes through the phone. She's sniffling and I know she's still crying.

"Hi Babydoll," I answer her, trying to sound like my heart is not breaking in a million pieces for her.

"I couldn't talk to you," she says to me. "You didn't answer your phone."

"Daddy made a mistake and turned his phone off, Babydoll," I tell her.

"I thought you left me," she says.

"I would never leave you," I tell her. "I love you. I'll be there soon, I promise."

"Okay," she sniffs. "I love you too."

Reynolds drives like a bat out of hell and we make it to Phoebe in record time.

I walk into my old room to find her sitting on my bed. Mom is beside her while she is being held by her brother.

It must have been bad if Teddy is holding Phoebe. He'll tolerate a quick hug from his affectionate sister, but never holding.

"Hey guys," I tell them.

My mom gets up to let me sit down.

I scoop Phoebe up in my arms and she holds on to me for dear life.

"Promise you won't runaway Daddy," she asks me.

"I promise," I tell her, kissing the little arm that is wrapped around my neck.

I put an arm around Teddy's shoulder. He moves in close to me.

"You two are my whole world. I wouldn't know what to do without you. I will do everything in my power to never ever leave you."

"But why did mommy leave us," she asks me. "Didn't she love us?"

"Yes, Babydoll," I tell her. "Mommy loves you. She's not going to be gone for much longer. She just needed to be by herself for just a little while."

"Why," she asks.

"It's because she's selfish," Teddy tells her. "That's what Auntie Mia told Auntie Kate."

 _For fuck sake!_

I look at my mother and she looks at me apologetically.

"Your mother is not selfish,Teddy," I tell him. "Mommy and Daddy just needed to spend some time part. Sometimes, when two people are having trouble getting along, spending time apart can help."

"Like when we argue too much in class and Ms. Steele makes us switch our seats," Phoebe said.

"Yes, exactly like that," I tell her, feeling like shit all over again remembering my fuck-up with Ana, "You okay Babydoll?"

"Uh huh," she says sniffing her nose.

"Can we go eat our cookies now," Teddy asks her.

"Okay" she says with a renewed spirit, climbing out of my lap and going downstairs to the kitchen with Teddy.

"I know what you're going to say," my mom tells me. "I am not at all happy with them either. We will discuss it as a family after dinner tonight."

"Fine," I tell her, letting it go.

"You are so great with them, Christian," she smiles lovingly at me. "I always knew you would be a wonderful father."

"I don't know how you and dad did it," I tell her. "I was a holy terror."

"You are our son," she says simple as that, and funny, I know exactly what she means. "Why don't you stay? There's no reason for you all to go to Escala and then back here again in a few hours."

I nod in agreement.

….

"You busy Dad," I poke my head in his office like I used to do when I was a kid.

"Not at all Son," he smiles at me. "How's Pheebs doing?"

"She's better," I tell him.

"She's having a tough go of it is she," he asks me in concern.

"I was an idiot to think I could shield them from this," I tell him.

"Not an idiot," he tells me, "Just a father who loves his kids."

"More than anything," I tell him.

"Listen, Son," he shifts to Lawyer mode. "It's time you start thinking about long term plans. Living in this limbo, is not good for you, Jess, or the kids."

"The divorce petition has been filed already," I tell him.

"And that is a huge step," he tells me. "But you all have yet to discuss the division of properties. It will make it easier if you all figure this out before we get in front of the judge. She is entitled to half of everything you own you know, including GEH."

"I know," I tell him.

"You're going to have to pay her alimony until she marries that son of bitch…" his detached professional lawyer persona slips a bit.

I wait until he regains it.

"Which I 'm sure she won't, as long as she can get a free ride from you," he tells me. "But all that is insignificant when it comes to two very important things."

"The twins," I tell him and he nods.

"What are you seeking in terms of custody and visitation," he asks me.

I get up and run my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"I want them to stay with me, Dad," I tell him. "She can have the rest of it. I don't care, but I want them with me."

"That won't be easy," he tells me. "The courts are almost always in favor of the mother…."

"But she abandoned them..." I have to stop myself from doing exactly what I'm pissed at the rest of the family for doing.

"And if we can prove that, it will work in our favor," he tells me. "Are you prepared to fight for them?"

"Of course," I tell him angrily.

"Christian," he says. "What I mean is, are you prepared to fight dirty?"

"Against their own mother," I ask him.

"Those are my grandkids," he tells me. "I want what's best for them. I want do this the best and lest painful way possible for them, but this shit turns ugly real quick and I need for you to be ready. Just like in those business deals you make Son. You have to keep the upper hand. Think of it that way."

"How can I think of a woman I've shared seven years of my life with as a damn business deal," I ask him.

"Goddamnit, Christian," he loses it. "Are you still in love with her?"

"No...I...I don't know. But I won't make her the villain in this story," I tell him. "I'm the one who fucked up here. Everyone seems to forget that."

"No one is forgetting anything," he tells me. "But her running away hasn't done anything but put unnecessary strain on her kids. What does she have to say about the breakdown of her marriage? Does she take any responsibility in this at all? "

"We haven't exactly spoken," I confess to him. "We can barely text or email without it turning to an argument."

"Has she talked to the kids," he asks me. "Briefly, like me, she avoids anything to do with what's happened between us."

"When is she coming back to see them," he asks me.

"I don't know," I tell him.

"You have got to be shitting me," he says in disgust. "Does she even want the kids?"

I shrug and he throws his hands up in frustration.

"Alright Son," he says pinching the top bridge of his nose and I know I've just given him a headache. "We still have a bit of time. Work it out within yourself. Get to a place that you are okay with. Are you still seeing Flynn?"

"I am," I tell him.

"Good," he says. "Please talk to your wife. You two have kids to think about. Ignoring each other and wising it would all just go away is not helping them. What happened to Phoebe just now is proof of that."

"Hey, here you two are," Elliot says coming into the room.

My dad gets one look at him and laughs.

I smirk at him, knowing exactly what happened, since I've been victim to it many times myself.

Apparently he was roped into one of Phoebe's make-overs. His shoulder length blonde hair is clipped with colorful barrettes and hair rollers. His fingernails are painted bright hot pink to match the eye shadow and lipstick he has on.

"You make one hell of a woman, Son," Dad laughs.

"Don't laugh too hard old man," Elliot says. "She's requesting the two of you for our milk and cookie party."

"Well then," Dad says getting up from his desk. "Let's go have some milk and cookies."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing. I am almost done with the next chapter. I will post again soon.**


	6. Psycho Stalker

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Six**

 **Psycho Stalker**

 **Ana's POV**

I step out of the shower just in time to hear the phone ring.

"Hello," I answer Charlotte's call. I grab a large yellow towel from the rack on the wall and wrap it around me.

"Come to my parent's for dinner tonight. Mom and Dad want to see you," she tells me. "They keep going on about how much they miss you. I think you are the daughter they never had."

"That's not funny, Charlotte" I snap at her.

"Sorry," she says to me. I hear the hint of concern in her voice, especially since I'm calling her by her full first name.

"I'm sorry," I sigh. "I'm having a bad day."

"Want to talk about it," she asks me.

"No," I tell her. "And I probably shouldn't subject your parents to it at dinner."

"You sure," she says. "Chucky is going to be there. Might make you feel better to get your mind off whatever it is."

I laugh at the nickname she refuses to stop calling her older brother, Brandon. I know he hates when she calls him that scary demented doll from the Child's Play horror movie.

"I'm sure," I tell her. "Give them my love and tell them I will see them soon."

"Okay," she says and I can hear she's not convinced. "I'll talk to you soon."

I hang up with her, dry myself off, and slip on my favorite pink and gray stripped pajamas that Jose says makes me look like a giant candy cane. I leave my hair a tangled damp mess and head to the kitchen

I root around in my freezer and fish out my pint of Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream that I had hidden in the back. I plant myself down on the coach with the intentions of not moving until I finish off the whole thing.

I become alarmed when I hear a knock on my door.

I groan when I see Jose standing on the other side. He is smiling in the peephole knowing that I am watching him.

Reluctantly, I open the door knowing he won't leave until I do.

"O...M...G," he says getting one look at my unkempt hair and outfit.

"Charlotte called you didn't she," I ask him.

I lock the door behind him and resume my spot on the coach.

"Please tell me you are just menstruating," he says looking at me eat my ice cream.

I shake my head no and he sighs heavily.

"It's been a little over six hours since I saw you last," he tells me looking at his watch. "What could have possible happened to turn this day to shit?"

He looks around the living room quickly, his head snapping in every direction. He gasps in horror and puts the tips of his right hand to his mouth.

"Wha..what happened to the Orchids," he asks me.

When I don't answer he goes running around looking for them throughout my small one bedroom apartment.

"Ay Dios Mio," he says when he finds them sitting in the kitchen near the garbage disposal, knowing my intent.

"No, no, no, it's okay," he comforts the Orchids as he brings them back to sit on the kitchen island.

"Have you lost your mind," he asks me.

I spoon some ice cream and eat it.

"He's a psycho stalker," I mumble before I take the spoon out of my mouth. "That delivery guy that brought the flowers works for him."

"How do you know that," he asks me.

"I went to the coffee shop and Christian joined me," I tell him.

"Damn, he moves fast," he says impressed and I roll my eyes. "Sorry," he says holding up his hands.

"We were leaving, when the guy pulled up in Christian's SUV," I tell him. "He's one of his security guards. I'll probably have to move now since they know where I live. That was really stupid of me to bring him here. God what was I thinking?"

"Ohhh, okay," Jose says sympathetically.

He disappears in the kitchen and I hear him opening up the utensil drawer. He sits next to me and I hold my ice cream over so he can spoon some.

"I don't think he is a psycho stalker," he tells me after he eats his ice cream. "Usually psycho stalkers don't send their security guards to do the psycho stalking."

 _Okay that's true_.

"So what the hell was that then," I ask him, eating another spoon full of ice cream.

"That was…hell I don't know what that was," he shrugs. "But Char says her dad says that he is a pretty big deal. Like, buku bucks rich."

"You think he was trying to check me out" I ask him.

"Probably," he tells me. "Come on Ana, we even check people out before we let them into our inner circle. Do you remember all that you and Char did to my poor Ricky when I told you I was serious about him?"

I laugh.

The poor man was interviewed mercilessly by the two of us.

"Well at least we were upfront about it," I tell him in our defense.

"Your man is filthy rich, honey," he says. "They do sneaky shit in high society. What did he have to say for himself?"

I look guilty.

"Tell me you didn't run out on the man," he asks me.

"I literally ran out on the man," I tell him.

"What am I going to do with you," he says to me in exasperation as he takes a big spoonful of ice cream and eats it.

"OH GOD," he yells, holding his forehead.

"Brain Freeze, Brain Freeze, Brain Freeze!"

…..

 **Christian's POV**

After dinner, I had Reynolds take the twins home to the care of Mrs. Beachum while I have a chat with my well meaning family.

"You all have got to stop this attack on Jess," I tell them as we sit around the dinning room table. "It's bad enough the kids have to deal with her absence. They don't need you all bad mouthing her."

"Mom told us what happened," Mia says. "We're sorry. I honestly didn't know they heard me. Even so, I shouldn't have said it."

"Mia's right," Kate says. "We would never purposely bad mouth Jess in front of the kids, but we shouldn't have done it all."

"I was nearly guilty of it myself today," mom admits. "It's just so infuriating to think that she would just up and leave her kids without so much as a word."

"Be grateful she didn't take them with her," Mia says.

"Ha, fat chance, we would have been all over her ass if she had," Kate says. "Listen to us. We are doing it again."

"It's a difficult situation all around," Dad says. "We have got to be more considerate and sensitive to the twin's feelings."

"This is bullshit," Elliot says angrily.

"Elliot Grey," mom scolds him for his foul language.

"Sorry mom," he tells her. "I just call it like I see it. She gets to leave her kids and her husband high and dry and now we have to make her out to be some martyr."

"I'm the one who forced her to go," I tell them. "It was my fuck-up..sorry mom….It was because of me."

"You made a mistake, Bro," Elliot tells me. "She didn't even give you chance to fix it."

"I made a huge mistake, Elliot," I tell him.

"Alright," mom says. "No need to rehash this. The fact is Jess is the twin's mother and we need to respect her as such. No more of this. We do not want the twins feeling bad about their mother."

"Mom," Elliot begins to protest.

"I mean it Elliot," mom says, "If you would have seen poor Phoebe today, and Teddy trying so hard to make it okay for her. He calling his mother selfish is unacceptable."

"It's the truth," Elliot says, adamantly.

"Enough Elliot," Kate tells him. "Grace is right. We are all adults. We should know better than this. Our job is to protect the kids."

"I'm sorry for dragging you all into this," I tell them guiltily. "But I am asking you to find a way to support the kids and at the same time stay out of my marriage."

"You didn't drag us," Mia says. "You, the twins, even Jess, as much as we're mad at her, are family and we want to support you."

"Mia's right," mom says. "And so are you, Christian. We will support you and Jess in whatever it is you all decide to do, but I think it's best we keep our opinions to ourselves where your marriage is concerned."

"I agree," Dad says. "We must stay out of it."

…

"Listen, I'm sorry about what I said in there, Bro" Elliot apologizes when I join him, Mia and Kate on our parent's back patio. "I just hate seeing you and the kids going through this. You don't deserve this shit."

"Thanks El," I tell him.

"Topic change," Mia says. "I heard you met someone."

"Damnit Mia," Kate scolds her.

"What," she says confused. "I didn't know it was a secret from Christian. You told me not to tell mom and dad."

I shake my head at my little sister and my sister in law.

"I guess you can say I met someone, Sis," I tell her. "And I already blew it."

"What happened," Kate and Elliot say in unison.

"Let's just say I'm 0 for 2 in the, me fucking up with women game," I tell them. "I had Reynolds deliver flowers to her apartment."

"What's wrong with that, "Kate says.

"Nothing," I say. "Except I had him pretend to be a delivery guy to scope out her place making sure she was safe. She found out about it today."

"Fuuck, Bro," Elliot moaned.

"Yeah," I agree with him. "I really freaked her out."

"I bet you did," Kate says to me.

"Alright what do you know Kate," I tell her.

"It's not my place to tell," she says. "I will tell you this though, Ana is a great girl. She's worth a second look."

"But I messed up," I tell her. "She actually ran from me. There is no way in hell she will ever trust me again."

"Give her time," Kate says. "She'll come around and if you need me to, I can put in a good word for you."

"She won't give me the time of day anyway," I tell him. "She hates that I'm married."

"Yeah duh, most women would sense would," Mia says. "You did tell her you were in the process of divorcing right?"

"Right," Kate asks me when I don't answer.

"She left before I got the chance," I tell them.

"Make that 0 for 3, little brother," Elliot tells me.

"But the kids like her right," Mia says. "I mean she's not one of those mean teachers we had in private school."

"They adore her," I tell Mia. "Look we are jumping a few guns here. I'm still married and she's not going to stick around for me to get my shit together. Who says she would even want to? I mean I've known the girl for two days, why would she bother?"

"I've never seen you this worked up before," Elliot tells me. "Must have been a hell of a two days."

"Oh for fuck sakes," I say in frustration. "Nothing like that happened."

"Look, maybe she's feeling something for you too," Elliot tells me. "All I'm saying is give it a chance and see what happens, bro."

"Can I call for a topic change," I ask them and Mia laughs.

…

 **Ana's POV**

"Are we feeling better," Jose asks me as I scrape the bottom of the ice cream carton. I nod yes.

"Okay," I tell him. "So maybe he's not some crazy stalker, but you have to admit that it was a tad bit strange."

"Do you remember Brian O'Keefe," he tells me. "I followed him around for like two weeks trying to get him to causally notice me, before I realized he was actually straight."

"That was different," I tell him. "You were harmless."

"You know that and I know that," he tells me. "But Brian sure as hell didn't. What if he would have found me out. I could be in jail right now."

"You are not helping Christian's cause," I tell him and he laughs.

"Look, all I'm saying is when cupid's little arrow pierces your heart, you do dumb shit," he tells me. "Give him a chance to explain at least before you kick him to the curb. The man is a multigazillionaire with kids and a reputation to uphold in this city. If he was going around stalking girls somebody would have already caught his ass."

"That is true," I admit. "but this multigazillonaire can get any woman in the world..."

"Oh no, hold on girlfriend," he tells me. "We will not be going there. He can have any girl in the world honey, but there is only one **you,** and **you** are the one he is stalking okay, not them."

I laugh.

"It's because he is married," I tell Jose.

"Um, no it's not," Jose says. "It's because you. are. hawt. But yes, technically he is married. They look to be on the rocks though."

"How the hell do you know all that," I ask him.

"It's called due diligence, Ana," he tells me. "Did you think Ricky, Char, and I wouldn't at least do a Google search on this guy? He hasn't been photographed with her for a while now. We are pretty sure it's splitsville."

"He doesn't wear his wedding ring," I confirm with him.

"See," he says hopeful.

"He's still taken," I tell him.

"True," he says defeated.

...

 **Christian's POV**

I make it home in time to read the kids a story and put them to bed.

I give Phoebe an extra hug and kiss before she snuggles down with her favorite teddy bear under the covers. I sit with her for a bit until she falls asleep. I tuck her in and kiss her once more before I leave her to sleep.

Too early for me to even think about sleeping, I head to my home office and try to do some work.

"Come in," I say to a knock on the door.

"Sir," Reynolds comes in to my office. "I just want to apologize for earlier today…."

"No need, Reynolds," I tell him. "That was my fuck-up. Thank you for finding me."

"Any time, Sir," he tells me and quickly leaves.

I open up my email so that I may apologize to Ana

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Please forgive me**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **For what happened today. I know how it looks and what you might think, but I can assure you I meant no harm in my actions.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **A very apologetic CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

I hit send and hope she responds. I am pleased to get an alert five minutes later.

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Then why**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **Would you do it? Why did you send your security here to check me out when it would have been easy just to ask me what you wanted to know?**

 **A very apprehensive, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Would you believe**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **I didn't want to scare you away by seeming too intrusive? Last night, I got the impression that something was scaring you and I was concerned. I just wanted to check if you were safe.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **An overly concerned CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: I kind of get it,**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **But I don't like it. Did you send the flowers just as an excuse to check things out?**

 **Needing to know the truth, Ms. Anastaia Steele.**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: No.**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **Absolutely not. I sent those flowers because I had a wonderful time with you. I wanted to give you something that would make you smile and that would represent that night. My delivery was less than stellar, but my intentions were true.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **Asking to be believed CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: I do**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **Thank you.**

 **Believing you, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: I may be pressing my luck,**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **But can I see you again. I would like to talk to you in person and explain things.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **A hopeful CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Maybe**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **We'll see.**

 **Asking for a little breathing room, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Granted**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **I won't push you. But I'm not giving up either.**

 **A determined, but respectful of your feelings CEO of Grey Enterpises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Thank you**

 **Date: November 1, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **For understanding.**

 **Wishing you a goodnight, Ms. Anastasia Steele** **:)**

* * *

I smile at her smiley face as I turn off my computer, feeling a little better about things.

I check on the twins one last time to find them still sleeping soundly. I head off to bed with thoughts of them in my head.

I resolve to call Jess tomorrow. She needs to reassure the kids. She needs to come here and see them now. Sending them to her when school is out just won't do.

...

 **Ana's POV**

I turn off my ipad feeling better about my friendship with Christian.

Jose made me realize my fear may have caused me to react badly to the situation. I still don't like feeling deceived, but I get his intention now that I've given him a chance to explain himself.

I'm also glad that I didn't destroy the Orchids now that I know he sincerely wanted to give them to me and they were not part of some psycho stalker ploy.

I check the time and it's nearly midnight, but I decide to call my dad anyway. Knowing him I'm sure he's still up.

"Frankie's phone," a woman answers. "He's too busy to talk right now..."

"Hey, give me that," I hear my dad snatch the phone as the woman giggles. "Hello?"

"Dad," I say to him.

"Hey, Sweetpea," he says to me in happy surprise, before his voice turns to concern. "Is something the matter?"

"No, nothing," I tell him honestly. "I knew you'd still be up and I wanted to hear your voice. Who was that lady that answered your phone?"

"Uh..just a girl I met tonight," he tells me.

"Ug, really," I scold him. "Just be careful."

"I'm always careful," he tells me.

"Always," I remind him of my existence.

"Hey, that was the best damn slip up of my life, Sweetpea," he tells me and I smile. "You're my pride girl."

"Well, in that case, you're forgiven then," I tell him.

"Are you coming up with me to Montesano for Thanksgiving," he asks me. "Ray wants to go fishing."

"Um, maybe," I tell him, unsure.

"You know nothing can hurt you anymore, Annie," he tells me. "That son of bitch is dead."

"I know, Daddy, and that's not the only reason," I tell him. "See, my friends are planning this thing..."

He laughs.

"So you are telling me, you'd rather have fun with your friends than be with your Dads and some smelly old fish," he tells me. "Can't says I blame you."

If I can't make it for Thanksgiving, I'll be there for Christmas," I tell him.

"Alright, that's a good deal, Sweetpea," he tells me.

"Well go back to your lady friend," I tell him, using the word "lady" loosely.

"I love you," he tells me. "To the moon and back."

"I love you," I tell him.

* * *

 **A/N: **Thank you all for following, favoriting, reading, and reviewing.****

 **Usually I don't do this, but, I see some great reviews and legitimate interest in Jess and Christian, so I will say this much since it really doesn't give anything away.**

 **Jess and Christian are 27/28. They've been married seven years.** **There was no need for a prenup when they first got married as GEH didn't exist back then.**

 **Washington is a no fault divorce state for the purpose of this story which means:**

 **1) Christian or Jess could decide to drag their marriage through the mud fighting and placing blame, forcing the judge to decide how it should end and who gets what.**

 **Or**

 **2) Christian may very well have to support Jess and give her half of GEH, if she so chooses, to end this divorce quickly and amicably.**

 **Ana's fear is not related to Carla or anything pertaining to Carla in anyway,** **but I'm sure you've all guessed what her fear is by now.**

 **Thanks again for reading and reviewing.**


	7. Mrs Jessica Grey

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter 7**

 **Mrs. Jessica Grey**

 **Christian's POV**

"Good morning Gail," I greet her as I enter the kitchen. I am overwhelmed by the delicious smell of breakfast and it instantly makes my stomach growl.

"Good morning," she greets me with a smile and hands me my coffee. "The kids are getting ready. They should be down in a minute."

"Very good," I nod to her and head off to the breakfast table. I shoot a quick text off to Andrea asking her to set up an emergency meeting with my therapist, John Flynn before I go in to work this morning.

"Morning Daddy," I hear the kids come in to join me.

"Good morning guys," I smile at them and put my phone away.

We dig in when Gail brings our breakfast of hash browns, toast, and bacon. We discuss what's on our agendas for the day. They really love our early morning breakfast meetings.

Teddy is excited because he gets to perform his card trick for the class at show and tell this morning. Elliot spent a few hours teaching it to him yesterday.

Phoebe wants to take her collection of princess Barbie dolls to show the class. I allow it only with the understanding that they are to be put away after her show and tell is over.

Anderson comes to take them to school. I hug and kiss them goodbye with the promise that I will be home for dinner tonight.

….

 **Ana's POV**

I drag myself out of my light blue vintage VW Beetle that Derrick finally got started for me this morning and grab my stuff for work.

I arrive early today, since it's the first school day of November and I have to change the large calendar in my classroom. I can't wait to decorate it with all of the kids Thanksgiving pictures that they colored for it.

In desperate need of my morning tea, I enter the staff lounge, grab my cup from my cabinet, and bee line right to the water cooler. I grab a Twinings English breakfast teabag, and dunk it twice in the piping hot water before fishing it out.

I sit down at a nearby table, take a sip, and sigh.

"You are so addicted to that stuff," my T.A. Sandy says coming in to sit down next to me.

"I so am," I tell her and she laughs as I savor another sip.

"How was your weekend," she asks me.

"It was great," I tell her smiling.

"Really," she says. "Who is he?"

"Who is he, who," I feign innocence.

"The who, who's got you smiling like that," she asks me.

"There's no who," I tell her.

She raises an eyebrow at me.

"Okay," I confess. "There was a who, but it was just a coincidental meeting, who."

"Well, tell me," she demands eagerly.

"Tell you what," Larry McMahon asks, sitting down on the other side of me. He is the assistant principle, although you'd never know it by the way he hangs out with the staff and gossips.

"Nothing," I say to him. I subtly scoot over because he is a little too close for my comfort.

"Ana's met someone," Sandy says to him purposely, because she thinks he has a crush on me.

"But I thought you didn't meet people," Larry, says and Sandy laughs.

"It's was a chance meeting," she explains.

"Okay, can we get off of the Ana train, now," I ask them.

"Are we getting a train," Amber Donovan, the kindergarten teacher, asks as she joins the table.

"No," I tell her, laughing at this crazy early morning conversation.

…

 **Christian POV**

"Christian," Dr. Flynn greets me when I walk into his office. "We are meeting earlier than usual this morning. What's brought you in?"

"Jess," I tell him simply.

"I see," he says. "Has there been a new development?"

"Not with her, but yesterday Phoebe was at my parents and she couldn't get a hold of me. She became upset. She thought I had left her like her mother."

"Why couldn't she get a hold of you," he asks me. "It's not like you to be unreachable for your twins."

"I was with….someone and without thinking, I turned off my phone," I tell him. "My CPO had to track me down."

"Someone," he asks for clarification.

"I was with a friend who's a girl," I quickly tell him.

"I see," he writes in his notebook and I know he's going to come back to that at a later date. "So you're concern for your daughter has brought you here?"

I nod.

"She and Teddy need to see their mom," I tell him. "I wanted to wait until winter break to send them to her, but I'm not sure waiting until next month is best."

"How did you handle it, with Phoebe, I mean," he asks me.

"I hauled ass over to my parent's house and reassured her how much her mom and I love them both. I told them that sometimes when people can't get along they need to spend some time apart to help make things better. They got that part, but, Teddy overheard Mia calling his mother selfish."

"Mmmm," he nods and writes it down.

"I had a talk with my family about it and it's been handled," I tell him. "But I think they need to see Jess sooner rather than later."

"I would have to agree with you," he tells me. "Teddy and Phoebe are smart kids and it is clear that, although the adults around them are trying their best, they are picking up on some bad vibes and that may be affecting them. Add that on top of their mother not being there like she used to be, and it could be a very difficult situation for them."

I sigh in frustration.

"Kids are very resilient," he assures me. "But this is a big transition and it has to be done delicately. A united front between you and Jess would go a long way in helping them to know that their family is okay."

I laugh sardonically.

"A united front," I repeat. "Not that easy to do when I can't even talk to her right now. Hell the last time I texted her, we argued."

"It's been six months, surely you two can come together for a moment or two for Phoebe and Teddy's sake," he tells me. "You have got to get your anger under control, Christian."

"Well that's why I'm here, Doc," I tell him. "Help me to make that happen."

"Christian," he tells me, relieved that I am finally willing to accept help dealing with my anger towards Jess. "You must first understand that being civil to Jess doesn't mean you have accepted what she did as right."

"Every time I think about her fucking that fucker all these months, I just see red," I confess to him. "How the fuck am I suppose to put that aside?"

"Look at the progress you've made," he tells me. "At least now you can actually say it out loud. Let me hear it."

"Jess fucked around on me," I tell him.

"Is that what she did," he asks me. "You make it seem like she's had multiple partners."

"She had an affair with a man that she's still seeing," I clarify. "That sure as hell doesn't make me feel any better than if she'd had more than one."

"No, but it keeps things accurate," he tells me. "And that is important. What happened between the two of you was detrimental enough without you heaping more on to it. The question is why did she stray?"

"Because I was a neglectful husband, I didn't listen to her," I tell him. "I wasn't there for her. When she needed me the most, I checked out."

He sighs.

"Christian, that is what you say," he tells me. "What does Jess say the reason is?"

"She hasn't," I confess to him.

"And until you allow her to, until you talk to her, you will always harbor this anger," he tells me.

"I planned on calling her today," I tell him.

"Good," he says. "If you two don't feel comfortable talking alone, get a mediator. But it has to be done, for all of your sakes. You will never truly move on until you do and neither will your kids."

"I'll see if she'll agree to come here and meet with you," I tell him.

"If she no longer feels comfortable with me, I can recommend someone for the two of you," he tells me.

"What a marriage counselor," I scoff. "Too late for that shit."

"Maybe not," he tells me. "Maybe all of this anger is you still loving her. Cheating doesn't automatically make those feelings go away."

"I will always care about Jess," I tell him. "But the thought of ever sticking any apart of me into any part of her makes me want to hurl, as you Brits would say."

"We 'Brits' are not that crass," he tells me.

I roll my eyes.

"You could work through that," he tells me, "Jess being...desirable to you again after her affair."

"She's still seeing the bastard," I remind the good doctor. "It is obviously more than an affair."

"She's not the one who filed for divorce," he counters. "She may very well still love you. Just because he's in her life doesn't mean she loves him. He could simply be a place holder. Do you want to save this marriage, Christian?"

"No," I tell him. "The truth of the matter is, Jess and I were over long before she cheated. Her cheating was just a side effect."

….

"Good morning, Mr. Grey," Andrea says to me when I walk past the receptionist desk heading to my office.

"Good morning," I tell her. "Hold all my calls and no interruptions until I tell you otherwise, unless it's concerning the twins, of course."

"Yes, of course, Sir," she tells me.

I go to my office, take a deep cleansing breath and call Jess.

"Hello," she answers the phone in question.

"Hello, Jess," I say to her formally, like we haven't shared a bed or a home for seven damn years.

"Christian," she says. Just the sound of my name coming out of her mouth makes me angry.

 _Focus Grey. Think of Teddy and Pheebs._

"Is something wrong," she asks me. "What's happened?"

"The kids miss you," I tell her. "Phoebe got upset yesterday when she couldn't reach me….."

"Why couldn't she reach you? Where were you," she interrupts to accuse me and that's all it takes to ignite my already short fuse.

"You have got to be kidding me," I hiss at her. "You run off like a whore in the night, abandoning your kids to be with your boyfriend, and you accuse me? Where were you yesterday when she wanted to know if mommy still loved her? Where the fuck have you been for the last SIX GODDAMN MONTHS? Fuck this shit!"

I hang up on her and immediately curse at myself for letting my temper get the better of me once again.

"What," I yell at Andrea when she buzzes in clearly not following my orders.

"I'm sorry, Sir," she says. "But, Mrs. Grey…. Mrs. Jessica Grey is on your private line and I wasn't sure if you wanted to…."

"Its fine, Andrea, thank you," I tell her, sympathizing with her predicament of damn if you do, damned if you don't, when deciding to interrupt me for Jess, especially since she hasn't called in months.

"Of course, Sir," she tells me.

"Jess," I pick up the phone.

"Christian, don't hang up," she says quickly. "I didn't mean to accuse you. I was just..." She searches for a safe word.

"scared," she comes up with one.

"I shouldn't have gone off on you like I did," I tell her. "Jess, Pheebs and Teddy, they are having a hard time with things and us not explaining things to them is not helping. I know we thought we were protecting them but, I think we need to sit them down and let them know what's going on."

"You're right, we should," she says not even mentioning the fact that she wanted us to do this a few days ago.

"Can you come back home…to Escala, I mean, so that we can talk to them together," I ask her.

"Can you send them here," she asks me.

"Yes, for winter break, but I think we need to talk to them, now together first," I tell her.

"I don't know if I can take being back in Escala, Christian," she tells me.

"No, I understand," I tell her. "That's fine. We can meet at the park or…"

"The park is fine," she tells me.

"Okay," I tell her, "would you be willing to meet with Flynn first, just to help clear the tension between us?"

"When," she asks me.

"How about today," I tell her. "He's available."

"That's fine," she says. "Say in an hour, that way we can talk to the kids when they get out of school."

"Fine," I tell her. "I'll see you at Flynn's in an hour."

...

 **Ana's POV**

"Girl, we just need to get you a new car," Jose says to me as we sit at my desk eating the Subway sandwiches he bought for our lunch.

"Let's go this weekend," Char says. "I love shopping for cars.

"I hate you," Jose tells her and we laugh. "Trading cars like boyfriends. What happened to Rupert anyway?"

"We did the do," she whispers even though my students are long gone to lunch.

"He sucked didn't he," Jose says and she shakes her head.

"Quite well," she explains. "I don't want to taint Ana's classroom with the filthy details."

"Guurrlll," Jose says fanning himself with his subway napkin.

"Then why did you dump him," I ask her.

"Well, we were done," she says.

"Oh," I say to her and then look at Jose. He shrugs me his I don't know either.

"I thought fine ass Brandon was suppose to lunch with us today," Jose asks Char.

"He got held up at work," she tells us.

"Gawd that man is sexy," Jose says. "I swear if I didn't love Ricky, I would be all over him, gay or not."

"Then you'd get married and I'd be your sister in law," Char says happily.

"Well there's always a down side," he tells her and she hits his arm.

"Okay so this weekend," Char says, "New car and lingerie."

"Lingerie," I say.

"For you and Mr. Sexy Gray Eyed Grey," she tells me.

"Oh no no no noooo," Jose tries to signal her to shut up even with me right in front of him and I roll my eyes.

"What," Char whispers to him.

"Didn't I tell you I would tell you later," he whispers back and I roll my eyes again.

…

 **Jess's POV**

"I shouldn't be long Rob," I tell him over the phone. "I just need to see the twins."

"I don't like it," he tells me. "You should wait until I can come with you. I can leave work now."

"No," I tell him quickly. "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to make things worse…."

"Being with me makes things worse," he asks me and I know I've made him angry.

"You know that's not what I meant," I tell him. "I just need to see them. They need their mom."

"Alright," he takes a breath. "But hurry back. I miss you when you are away from me too long. It was bad enough when I had to track you down the last time you disppeared on me."

"I will hurry," I tell him.

I hang up with Rob, grab the presents I've been saving for the twins, and leave my house.

I'll have to ask Christian if it's a good idea to give them their gifts. I don't want them to think I'm trying to buy their forgiveness.

Just the thought of that makes my heart hurt. The fact that I have to ask Christian about my babies makes me angry with myself.

Now he wants me to talk to them. How am I supposed to make them understand what happened when I can barely wrap my head around it myself?

At least Christian is finally willing to talk to me. I just hope we can get everything out in the open with Flynn's help. I hope that he can find it in his heart to forgive me.

...

I drive past Escala on my way to Flynn's office.

Just looking at it brings back memories I've tried so hard to forget. I grip the steering wheel tightly and allow myself to cry. I need to get it all out if I am to think straight and say what needs to be said to my husband and kids.

For thirty minutes, I sit in my car trying to ease the shaking of my hands. I look at myself in the review mirror and wipe my tears that are still falling from my eyes.

I do my best to fix myself as I enter Flynn's office.

"Jessica, it's good to see you," Dr. Flynn tells me. I am surprise to see him waiting outside of his office. It's usually just his receptionist.

"Jess please," I tell him. "It's good to see you too."

"Jess," he corrects himself. "Christian is already inside. Why don't we go and join him."

I nod and he leads me to his office.

"Hi, Christian," I say to him as he stands when I enter the room.

I've known every inch of this man since I was eighteen years old and he can still affect me the way he did when we first met.

"Jess," he says curtly to me.

I can feel the anger he is trying hard not to show permeate off of him like steam.

"Well," Dr. Flynn begins. "Let's set up some ground rules shall we. First and foremost I will ask you both to be respectful of one another. Some difficult truths may need to be discussed, but we must do our best to keep our heads. I am only here to help you in your conversation. If at any time, I feel it is too much, or you feel it's too much, we will take a break. Christian would you like to begin?"

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing as always.**


	8. Difficult Truths

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter 8**

 **Difficult Truths**

 **Christian's POV**

"Well," Dr. Flynn begins. "Let's set up some ground rules shall we. First and foremost I will ask you both to be respectful of one another. Some difficult truths may need to be discussed, but we must do our best to keep our heads. I am only here to help you in your conversation. If at any time, I feel it is too much, or you feel it's too much, we will take a break. Christian would you like to begin?"

"Yes, thank you John," I tell him.

I look over at my wife whom I haven't set eyes on in six months. Her pale skin now turning pink from her flush, her long dark brown hair pulled in a low pony tail behind her head. Her eyes are puffy from crying. She has the same warm brown eyes as Phoebe.

The sudden thought of my Babydoll hurting has now got my blood boiling.

I take a deep breath and try to shake the image of her arms clinging tightly around my neck before I can even attempt to speak without anger in my voice.

"Why," I spit out at Jess, failing miserably to get rid of my anger. "Why did you fuck…"

"Ahem," John clears his throat.

I cut my eyes at him and he raises an eyebrow at me.

"Why did you cheat on me," I rephrase the question.

She sits for what seems like hours, looking at her hands as they lay knotted in her lap, trying to get to a place to where she can speak.

"I…I was so lost, Christian," she finally tells me. "After everything, I just, I don't know. It was so hard dealing with it. I was so overwhelmed with grief and trying to take care of the twins…I…couldn't handle it all…."

"So you go out and fuck some guy," I ask her. "Did that make it all better for you Jess?"

"It wasn't like that, Christian," she tells me. "You know it wasn't like that. He was there for me. He paid attention to me. He loved me when..."

"I didn't love you," I ask her.

"No, you didn't," she tells me quietly. "When we got married, it was because I was pregnant with the twins. If Carrick hadn't forced you, could you honestly say that you would have married me?"

"But I did marry you," I tell her. "I grew to love you…shit, that didn't come out right. I didn't mean that, Jess."

"It's true," she tells me.

"No, it's not," I tell her. "Jess, you were my first.."

"Sex, Christian," she says to me. "We had really great sex and we messed up and got me pregnant at nineteen. You and I both know that without our kids, I would have been just a fond childhood memory for you right now."

"Are you sitting there telling me that for seven years you thought I didn't love you," I ask her in disbelief.

"No," she tells me. "I knew you loved me. You weren't in love with me, but I knew you were happy with our life together. We were both happy for most of it Christian, living in your parent's boat house, building GEH and watching it become successful, moving into Escala with all of the body guards and Charlie Tango. I still hate the thought of that thing."

She shakes her head at the memories of me begging her to fly with me. She never trusted that I knew what I was doing.

"Watching the twins learn to walk and talk, that potty training fiasco with the pull ups, we were happy," she says. "The kids are what held us together."

"Jess…" I begin, wanting to stop her because I know what's coming next.

"But then I fell," she says it. "We lost Andrew and I knew you blamed me."

"That's not true," I lie to myself.

"It is true," she cries. "How many times did you warn me to be careful going up and down the stairs with him? How many times did you ask me to help you scold the twins about leaving their toys on the stairs? If I would have just listened, just once, our little boy would be here right now. We would still be happy. I'm so sorry Christian."

"Christian," Flynn calls for me to respond, but I've got nothing. I'm completely floored by her honesty.

"Why do you feel Christian blames you," Flynn asks her for me.

"He's been cold to me ever since," she says. "I know he's angry at me. Try as he might, he can't really hide it very well. I was angry with me too, I still am."

"You're right," I finally find my voice. "I was angry. I was so fucking angry. At you, at me, at the fucking doctors who couldn't save him, at the kids for being careless with their toys, at us for buying them all those fucking toys, at God, at any bastard who dared be happy in life when I was in so much pain…"

I stop and take a breath. I run my fingers through my hair and she smiles at the familiar gesture.

"I know I wasn't there for you Jess, and I fucking hate myself for it," I admit to the both of us. "I did the only thing I knew how to do to make it all go away of me. I threw myself in my work and shut everything and everyone out, including you and the kids. I left you to deal with them and your grief alone. Jess, I know I fucked up, but did you have to go and fuck the first son of a bitch who….what?"

"It wasn't like that," she tells me again.

"Then how was it," I yell at her.

"He listened to me, he held me…" she says.

"I don't want to hear the damn intimate details, Jess," I interrupt her.

"He was going through the same thing I was going through," she tells me.

"That's right," Flynn recalls. "You meet him at your grief counseling sessions."

She nods.

"He had just lost his wife and son driving them home drunk one night," she tells me and I roll my eyes before I could catch myself from doing the disrespectful gesture, that was aimed toward him and not his loss.

"So that made it okay for him to take my wife," I ask her. "That made it okay for you to run off with him in the middle of the damn night, leaving YOUR kids behind to be with a man who'd just killed his own?"

She shakes her head no.

"I didn't run off with him," she says.

"I came home to find the kids all by themselves," I tell her. "You left them in the apartment alone to go off with that bastard. If it wasn't for Anderson doing a sweep and then letting me know you weren't home, I…I don't know what might have happened if they'd woken up to find themselves alone."

"I tried," she tells me. "I tried to get you to come home for days, but you refused."

"I was in New York," I remind her.

"That never stopped you before," she counters.

"I had just found out you were fucking some nutcase! I needed time," I yell at her.

"Christian, please," Flynn calls for me to calm down, but I ignore him.

"That doesn't explain why you slinked off…" I start.

"I couldn't take it another minute in that place," she tells me. "Everything reminded me of that day. The day I fell. I day I killed our son. I had to get out! You wouldn't hear me! I begged you to let us move, but you wouldn't listen!"

"Escala was all I had left of him," I yell back at her. "Every memory was there."

"You had me, you had the twins," she counters. "We could have started over. We could have tried if you would have just helped me!"

"I was drowning," I tell her. "I couldn't make it though the day without breaking down!"

"What happened the night you left, Jess," Flynn asks her, in an attempt to diffuse the growing hostility.

I get up to pace. My whole body is shaking as the memories of our son overtake me.

"The twins and I were in the media room watching a movie and they had fallen asleep," she tells Flynn. "I didn't feel comfortable sleeping in there. So I picked Teddy up and carried him up the stairs to his room and put him to bed. I went back down and I picked Phoebe up. We were heading up near the top of the stairs right where I had dropped Andrew."

She pauses to take a breath and calm herself.

"She woke up," she finally continues. "She yanked back suddenly and I had to catch her before she tumbled out of my arms. I overcompensated for her weight and I lost my balance. I slammed against the railing. I caught hold before we fell, but…."

"Jesus Christ, Jess," I whisper.

"I almost let it happen again," she cries. "I knew I had to go. I couldn't stay. I went to my sister's in Olympia and I stayed there for a few weeks. I knew the kids would be safe with their dad."

"But it was an accident," I tell her. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"You already blamed me for Andrew. I just couldn't take anymore," she tells me. "So I ran. I left my babies and I ran."

"I forced you to go," I tell her what I have always known to be true.

She shakes her head no.

"You didn't force me," she tells me. "The pain forced me. I knew that if I stayed…I would have hurt myself. I couldn't take the kids. I couldn't risk it. I would pull myself together just long enough to talk to them a little on the phone. My sister helped, she got me into a grief treatment center. I was going to come back for them Christian, as soon as I got myself together. I don't blame you for not letting me."

"And during all of that, you still had time to fuck…whatever the fuck his name is," I ask her.

I know the fuckers name. I know everything about that bastard. So many nights I stayed awake contemplating crushing him and his little car dealership. But what would be the point in bothering? It wouldn't erase my wife's betrayal.

Jess furiously wipes at her tears with her fingers. The flash of her wedding and engagement ring catch my eye and I have to look away from them. I nurse my newly bare ring finger.

Flynn leans forward with a box of tissue and she takes a few.

"He found me in Olympia," she tells me. "I didn't run to him."

"You didn't run away from him either," I tell her.

"I have no defense, Christian," she tells me. "He was a lifeline and I grabbed hold. I knew I had already lost you."

"And you just wanted to seal the deal," I sneer at her.

She looks up to challenge me.

"Are you saying that if I hadn't slept with Rob, you and I would be together now," she asks me.

I stand silent.

She smiles sadly at my inability to lie to her after everything that's happened, I still can't fucking lie to her.

"The deal was sealed when I fell with our infant son in my arms," she tells me what I can't say out loud.

I close my eyes and nod.

"I know that you are angry with me Christian," she tells me. You have every right to be. I messed up in so many ways. But I love our kids and I don't want them to suffer anymore than they already have. I hate myself for not being stronger for them. You'll never know how much. I have a place. A nice sized home with a backyard and they'll each have their own room. It's all decorated…."

"Are you saying that you plan on uprooting them," I ask her. "Taking them away from their home…."

"No," she says quickly. "But you will let them visit me for the winters break and if it goes well, maybe more often. Shoreline isn't that far for them to see me whenever they want."

"I want full custody of them," I blurt out and hold my breath for her answer.

 _Please let them stay with me, Jess._

"No," she says.

"Jess, listen to me for a minute..." I start out desperately.

"I want shared custody," she says. "They can live with you."

I exhale in sweet relief.

"But I will not allow you to keep them from me anymore, Christian. They will see me often and whenever they want. I know I've been out of it, but if you try to stop them, if you try to turn them against me, I will fight you…"

"I won't keep them from you, Jess," I assure her. "You are their mother and they need you."

She nods.

"Thank you," she tells me.

"We can work it out with the lawyers later," I tell her, happy now that I have the twins. "You can have whatever else you want, Jess."

She laughs.

"What," I laugh to match her laugh.

"How come you weren't this agreeable a few months ago," she asks me.

"Phoebe didn't break down a few months ago," I tell her.

She nods in understanding.

I think of all the times she tried to talk to me, but I didn't want to hear it. Just the thought of hearing her voice sent me into a rage.

"I am just so fucking angry with you, Jess," I tell her.

"Angry at her or hurt by her cheating," Flynn chimes in and Jess and I both look at him, forgetting that he was even in the room.

"Both, I guess," I say to him and to her. "We are still married Jess and I took our vows seriously. I haven't been with anyone else since I married you. Hell, since I met you."

"I know," she says. "I wish I would have handled things differently."

"Me too," I tell her. "Me, handling things differently, I mean."

"Well," Flynn says, satisfied at our progress. "You've both given each other a lot to process. Christian I want to see you in my office tomorrow after you've slept on what all was said here today."

"That's fine," I agree to met with him.

"Jess, if you're not speaking to a therapist, I could recommend someone," Flynn tells her.

"I am," she says. "I'll see her tomorrow."

"Good," he says. "Now, how are you going to handle meeting the kids today?"

She and I are both silent.

"I suggest you let them set the tone," he tells us. "Don't push them to talk if they don't want to. If they have questions, answer them honestly, but on a level they can understand. Don't bombard them with too much of the details. Let them know that you won't be coming back to stay with them at Escala Jess…"

"Is that really a good idea," I ask him.

"It is, unless Jess is planning to come back and stay at Escala," he tells us bluntly. "You are all about to be divorce in a matter of months. Keeping this from them won't work. It will either get their hopes up, setting them up for a major fall or have them wondering who else is going to leave without warning. Eventually they will start to act out and they will lose trust in the both of you. You must be honest. No matter how much it hurts them right now, it will only get worse, otherwise."

I cringe when I think about Phoebe's melt down.

"And Jess, I know that you think you've done them a disservice, but after what we've learned today and all things considering, it was a good thing that you sought help when you did. Now you just need to follow through and talk to them about it," he tells her. "I must warn you, they may be distrustful of you in the beginning. They may keep their distance from you as a way to protect themselves just in case you leave again."

"How can I make it okay for them," she asks.

"Just be the mom they've always known. That will go a long way in gaining their trust. And remember, if you promise them something, no matter how big or small, make sure it happens," he tells us both.

…

I have Anderson to drop the kids off at their favorite playground in Green Lake Park. It is secluded and the security team can warn us if paparazzi are lurking.

Jess and I are waiting for them, sitting nervously on a park bench. If I tried real hard, I could almost believe this was just a regular Monday with my wife enjoying our kids at the park.

We watch them approach.

Phoebe spots her first. The moment she does, her eyes light up and her mouth opens wide in surprise.

"Mmmommmmyyyy," she squeals, running full speed to Jess.

Teddy is a step behind her. He could easily out run phoebe, but he lets her keep the lead.

Black dress and bare knees be damned, Jess get down on the pavement and opens her arms wide so that the twins can run into them.

"We missed you mommy, we missed you," Phoebe cries holding on to her mother.

"I missed you guys too," Jess says, kissing and cooing over them. "Let me look at you. You've both gotten so big."

She smoothes their hair and wipes their tears.

I help Jess up and we all sit on the bench, Teddy on the right side of Jess and Phoebe is in the middle of the two of us.

"Are you coming home with us, Mommy," Phoebe asks and Jess takes her hand.

"Well guys," she says. "We need to talk to you about that."

"Um…" she struggles.

"Mom and Dad have decided it would be better for us to live apart," I take over for her.

"For how much longer," Phoebe asks near tears.

"From now on, Babydoll," I tell her softly.

"You're divorcing," Teddy says and we nod.

"Don't you love us anymore, Mommy," Phoebe cries.

"Oh, baby," Jess says pulling Phoebe into her arms. "I love you and Teddy…..and Daddy very much, more than anything but sometimes…sometimes mommies and daddies just can't seem to live together and so they have to divorce. But that just means that you'll get to come and visit me whenever you want."

"It won't be the same," Phoebe pouts.

"No it won't, Babydoll," I tell her honestly. "It won't be the same, but you know what, it could be better. It will be better because mommy and daddy will be better friends now."

"We can come see you whenever we want," Phoebe asks Jess and Jess looks at me.

"Whenever you want," I tell all three of them. "Just asks Anderson and he will take you."

"Can we spend a lot of nights," Phoebe asks.

"You bet you can," Jess answers her quickly. "I have your rooms already for you."

"Teddy," I call to him as he sits much too quietly next to his mother. "You okay, Son?"

"I guess," he shrugs.

"What is it, Teddy," Jess encourages him gently. "You can tell me."

"Do we have to come and stay with you forever now," he asks her.

"Not at all," she assures him. "I know how happy you are and how much you love living with Daddy and Taylor and Mrs. Jones. I would never make you leave."

"But you won't go away again," he asks her. "Are you sure we'll be able to see you whenever we want?"

"I am very sure," Jess assures him. "Mommy was sad before and I wasn't able to take care of you like a mom is supposed to, but I'm much better now."

"Was it because of baby Andy," he asks and Jess nods her head.

"Yes, baby," she tells him. "I'm seeing a doctor and she is helping me to not be so sad. I promise I won't go away again."

"Will you come and pick us up from school and you can meet our teacher, Ms. Steele," Teddy says.

"Of course I will," Jess says, happily.

 _Shit!_

"Teddy likes her," Phoebe teases.

"Do not," he says to his sister.

"Alright you two," I scold them.

"Can we go see the water, Mommy," Phoebe asks.

"Okay, let's go," Jess says, smiling so that her whole face lights up, reminding me of how beautiful she always was when we were happy together. She takes their hands and they walk down near the lake.

I watch as the kids spend time with their mother. Teddy runs ahead sometimes as they walk, picking up leaves and rocks to examine or throw in the lake. Phoebe stays close to Jess's side all the while, holding her hand and laughing at whatever her mom is telling her.

….

The kids say goodbye to Jess after she reassures them that she will see them soon. They are chatty and happy as larks as they hold on tight to the presents their mom brought them.

She and I will have to make up a schedule for them to see her to go along with the, whenever they want to see her days, so they will have a stable routine.

Gail has prepared the kids favorite of macaroni and cheese to go along with her baked chicken.

We have our dinner and I answer all of their questions, mostly just reassurances that they can spend time with Jess.

They take their baths, I read them their stories, and leave them to sleep.

I head to my home office and try to focus on answering some of the emails I didn't get around to today.

I smile when I spot one from Ana.

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: I hope**

 **Date: November 2, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **Your first official business day of November was as good as mine was.**

 **Wishing you sweet dreams tonight and a wonderful tomorrow, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

 **P.S. Tell Uncle Elliot the class loved his card trick. I hope Teddy doesn't spend that five he tricked me out of all on candy. :)**

"What," I say to my computer and laugh. _Fucking Elliot!_

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: It was**

 **Date: November 2, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **a very productive day. I can't wait to tell you all about it.**

 **Still respecting your feelings but wishing very much I could see you, CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

 **P.S. I will tell Fagin and his Artful Dodger that they are not to pick the pockets of Fair Maidens.**

* * *

I give it a good ten minutes before I sign off, thinking that she's already gone to be. Then my stomach drops with thoughts of who she might be in bed with.

I have to fight the urge to call my security advisor, Welch, to do a check on her to find out who the fucker is that lives across the hall.

I shake the thought, knowing that wouldn't go over with her well, and go check on the kids instead.

I am alarmed to find that Phoebe is no longer in her bed. I knock on her bathroom door, but there is no answer.

I head quickly to Teddy's room.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear their voices coming from his closed door. I crack it open silently. I am about to tell Phoebe to go to bed when I hear her asks Teddy a question.

"But how could they still love us and not each other," she asks her older brother by ten minutes.

"Because husband and wife love is different than mom and dad love," he tells her. "They can stop loving each other, but it doesn't mean they don't love us and even if they stop being husband and wife, they will always be mom and dad."

"If you say so," she says still unconvinced about the whole thing, but trusting her brother knows best.

"I do say so, you'll see," he tells her as a matter of fact. "Mom and dad will always be mom and dad just like I will always be your big brother."

"Ug," he says to her hugging him a bit too long.

She climbs in bed to sleep with him and he doesn't protest, so I let them be for tonight.

I go off to my room and flop down on the large bed, finally allowing my body to relax after this long day.

My phone goes off and I move to check the message.

"Are they okay," Jess texts me.

"I think they are going to be just fine," I text her back.

* * *

 **A/N: FYI: Fagin and the Artful Dodger are from Oliver Twist.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	9. Ravioli

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Nine**

 **Ravioli**

 **Christian's POV**

 **Tuesday November 3, 2015**

"Mr. Grey, your father is here to see you," Andrea buzzes in to my office intercom.

"Send him in," I tell her.

I close out my email after responding to Ana.

She emailed telling me how much she loved my Oliver Twist reference and to be sure to watch my wallet around Elliot.

"Afternoon, Son," my dad says to me as he comes into my office.

He sits our lunch down on my nearby conference table and I go over to join him.

"You're looking good, old man," I tell him.

He puts his index finger on the side of his nose. To this day I have no clue as to what that gesture means.

"How are my grandkids," he asks me as he bites into the turkey sandwich he got from his favorite deli.

"Much better now that they've seen their mother," I tell him before biting into mine.

He stops in mid chew and looks at me shocked face.

"She came, we talked, she saw the kids," I summarize. "It went very well."

"I see," he says. "Did you all have a chance to discuss things?"

I nod.

"She agreed to shared custody and the kids get to live with me," I tell him.

"Well thank fuck for that," he breaths in relief and I smirk at his familiar saying.

"They get to see her whenever they want," I tell him. "She has a house in Shoreline. The kids and I are going to go visit her when school gets out."

"You don't trust her," he asks me.

"Of course I do," I tell him honestly. "I just would feel better knowing where they were."

"Perfectly understandable Son," he nods in agreement. "What about this guy she's….seeing?"

"We've agreed that he's not allowed to be around the kids right now," I tell him and he nods.

"Good," he says. "No need muddying up the waters with all that messiness. How is she?"

"She's more like herself," I tell him.

"Your mother and I will never approve of her…..fornicating, but we still care for her as our grandchildren's mother. We still want the best for her. Just her running off with…"

"She didn't run off with him, Dad," I tell him. "She left to get help because she was at the end of her rope and she couldn't take it anymore. She went to her sister's alone, because her jackass of a husband couldn't get past his own shit to help her."

"Well, Son, it's not every day a man finds out his wife of seven years cheated on him with some lowlife," he defends me.

"Topic change," I tell him.

"Oh good Lord, not you too," he tells me. "Bad enough I got Mia doing that to me."

I laugh.

"Fine," he says. "Let me ask you one more thing because as your lawyer and as you father this is very important."

"What is it," I ask him.

"Are you still in love with Jess," he asks me. "Did you jump the gun with this divorce? Can you work it out with her? "

"No," I tell him.

"Son," he says to me. "Eventually your pride and the pain will fade and the love will still be there. If you want to wait and see how you feel about it later, there is no rush. We can halt the proceedings at anytime."

"No, Dad," I tell him again. "My marriage is over. It's not just the cheating. If it was, maybe I could get past it, but it's more than that. Jess and I are over. I am sure of it."

"Is she sure of it," he asks me. "There was a lot going on and emotions were high, I'm sure."

"I believe she is," I tell him. "If she wasn't before, she is now. We've told the kids we are divorcing."

"Okay," he says. "Well, I guess after it's all said and done, maybe you could start seeing what else is out there. You know soar your wild oats or whatever you all call it."

"Dad," I laugh. "Are you suggesting I play the field?"

"Well that's a good way to define it," he tells me. "You've been with, as far as I know, only one woman your whole life. Maybe it's time to see how many others are out there. Judging from those magazines and videos your sisters always looking at, there are a whole lot of them out there. A young, rich, attractive man as yourself would have no problem snagging a few of them for himself."

"Dad," I say to him, not really wanting to talk about my sex life.

"Have you seen the girls lately," he asks me in wonder. "Damn, if I was twenty years younger, I'd give you a run for your money. And they are all so well endowed now compared to when I was younger."

He makes a gesture with his hands at his chest to show he means a woman's big breast.

"Dad," I say getting uncomfortable.

"Now don't get me wrong," he waves me. "None of them compare to your mother. Damn she was a looker, she still is. I won that prize. And talk about stamina.."

"TOPIC CHANGE," I tell him, covering my ears.

He laughs heartily at me.

…

Dad, finally tired of teasing me, leaves me to my work day.

I check my email but there is still no response from Ana. I refrain from emailing her again and pour myself into my work.

"Hi Daddy," Phoebe enters my office with Teddy and Taylor behind her.

"Hey Babydoll, hey Teddy Bear," I greet them. Teddy huffs at my slip in using his hated nickname.

I look at the time. I can't believe it past so quickly.

"How was school today," I ask them.

"It was fun," Pheebs said. "We learned about Biomes and we are going to get to make one."

"That's great," I tell them. "Did Ms. Steele teach you that today?"

"Uh huh," Pheebs answers me. "I want one for Wilfred."

She says about her pet mouse.

"The one I'm making for Jake the Snake well be better," Teddy says about Elliot's snake that Phoebe rescued her mouse from.

We happened to be visiting Kate and Elliot one Saturday and the twins went to look at his snake tank.

Phoebe was in tears when Elliot told her that the cute little white mouse with the pretty pink nose wasn't in the tank on a social visit, but was in fact Jake the Snake's lunch.

Elliot gifted her the little mouse.

I rolled my eyes when the moment she left the room with it, he dropped another one in the snake's tank.

Now we make sure not to bring her around during Jake's feeding time.

"I'm not sure that's what Ms. Steele had in mind when she said you'd be making Biomes guys," I tell them now. "Why don't you go and ask Ms. Andrea for the snacks she has for you?"

"Okay," they say and leave me to talk to Taylor.

"I want you and Anderson to accompany us over to Jess's place," I tell him. "She gave the okay for the two of you to check around. Let me know if there's a security concern and I will discuss it with her."

"Understood, Sir," he tells me.

….

 **Ana's POV  
**

"Did you find it," I ask Jose as he comes out of my bedroom.

"Nope, nothing," he says. "You sure, you didn't leave it at work someplace?"

"No, I'm sure," I tell him looking around the living room for my lost ipad.

"Where do you remember seeing it last," he asked me.

"Well after I emailed Christian…" I start.

"Christian," he interrupt happily.

"Yes," I tell him. "We. Are. Friends."

"Mhm," he says to me, not believing a word of it.

"Anyway," I say to him. "After I was done, I put it in my bag."

"Did you let your bag out of your sight," he asks me.

"I left it in the staff lounge while I used the bathroom," I tell him.

"Whelp, there you have it," he says. "You are working with thieves."

"I don't think so," I tell him still looking around the apartment. I get down on my knees and look under my couch for the elusive ipad.

"Unless the damn thing grew legs, then wings, then flew out of your bag, and walked under the couch, I'd say you've been robbed," he tells me.

 _Well that's just great._

…..

 **Christian's POV**

The twins are excited as we pull up at their mother's place.

She was right. It is a nice sized home with plenty of room for the kids to play.

"Hi guys," she greets them happily when she opens the door. "Hello Christian."

"Hi, Jess," I tell her as she hugs and kisses the twins. She is in a white and baby blue billowy dress that Phoebe loves because she thinks she looks like a princess in.

"Come on you two, let me show you your rooms," she tells them and they go with her eagerly.

I take a moment to look around the living room. It is filled with soft plush furniture of warm vanillas and browns. I know the twins are going to love it when they are here.

Satisfied that the house is up to Taylor's security standards and with pleading from not only the twins, but Jess, I agree for them to stay well after dinner. Anderson will pick them up just before bedtime.

I compliment the smell of whatever it is she is cooking as she moves around in the kitchen, but I turn down the offer to stay for dinner.

I'm not really sure what message that would send to the kids.

Seeing us all eating together as a family is very different then seeing mom and dad getting along. Maybe one day we can have dinner together, but right now, I don't want them to get their hopes up with mixed messages.

….

"Good evening, Mr. Grey," Gail greets me when I walk into the kitchen.

"Good evening Gail," I tell her.

"Taylor says it's just you for dinner tonight," she tells me and I nod in confirmation.

"The twins are having dinner with their mother," I tell her and she smiles.

"That's nice," she tells me happily. She knows how much the twins miss their mother and was heartbroken when we lost the baby. "You're dinner will be ready in a moment. I've seared pork chops."

"Sounds wonderful," I tell her. "I'll be in my office. Call me when it's time."

I sit down and check my email. I am disappointed to find still no response from Ana.

I have time to eat dinner and have a workout downstairs before the twins come home.

They are bursting with excitement about the fun they had over at Jess's place. I smile when I found out she made them sloppy Joes for dinner. It was one of the things she did with them and they missed it. Try as I and Gail might, we've never been able to duplicate her recipe.

I finally got them calm enough to have their baths and they were out before their story ended.

I check my email one more time for Ana before I call it a night and head to bed.

…..

 **Friday November 6, 2015**

 **Christian's POV**

I drag myself into a empty Escala alone after my class. It's times like these when I realize just how big the penthouse truly is.

I was disappointed not to have seen Ana there tonight and my disappointment quickly turned to concern.

I go to my home office and first text Anderson to check on the twins. He informs me that from what he can tell by his vantage point outside, they are making popcorn with their mother in preparation to watch a movie.

Satisfied that they are okay, I look through my phone for Ana's number.

I let my fingers linger a minute contemplating if I should actually push the call button.

I've emailed her several times since Tuesday, but she hasn't responded to any of them. The last one she sent was of her laughing out loud to my Oliver twist pick pocket reference about Elliot and Teddy, but after that, nothing.

I know I'm to give her space, but she would at least answer my emails before.

I find out through the kids talking about school that she's there and okay. They would have said something if they thought she seemed a bit weird to them or sick in some way.

I curse when my damn sensitive touch screen calls Ana for me.

"Hello," her sweet voice answers on the second ring making me catch my breath.

I clear my throat.

"Ana, hi," I try to sound casual but I end up sounding like a fucking dork. "How are you?"

"Christian," she says in surprise and I can imagine her taking her phone away from her ear and looking at it before speaking to me again.

I laugh to myself.

"How did you get my number," she asks me. "Is this your concerned stalkerness flaring up again, Mr. Grey?"

She is trying to sound flippant and not alarmed. But I know she is freaking out.

"Not at all Miss. Steele," I assure her. "This is me getting your number from the information form I had all of my students fill out on the first day of class."

"Oh right," she laughs. "I forgot about that."

"I didn't use it before, because I didn't want you to think that I was abusing our professor/student roll," I tell her. "But when you didn't show up to class tonight I was worried."

"Oh," she says. "I'm okay. I just dropped the class."

"I hope it wasn't because of the way I acted that first day," I tell her.

"No, no," she assures me. "Once I found out that you were my student's dad, I just didn't feel right. I was just taking it on a whim anyway."

"I understand," I tell her, trying to hide the fact that I am disappointed at not getting to see her every Friday.

"How are you," she asks me.

"I'm fine," I tell her.

"And how is the Artful Dodger and his sister," she jokes. "Are they enjoying their Friday night?"

" I think so. They are about to watch a movie with their mother, last I checked on them," I tell her.

"Oh," she says quietly. "I should let you go then…"

 _Shit! That didn't come out right_

"Wait, Ana, listen," I ask her. "The kids are at their mother's house. She doesn't live with me Ana, not for a while now. She and I are in the process of divorcing."

"Christian, I'm so sorry," she tells me sincerely.

"Its fine," I tell her quickly. "I just…I realized how that came out a little too late and I didn't want you to hang up thinking I was sneaking around talking to you, while my kids were watching a movie in the other room with their mom."

"I didn't think that," she says. "I don't think that badly of you. I just…I don't know."

"Me being married makes you uncomfortable," I say it for her.

"A tad bit, yes," she admits.

"Me too," I admit to her.

"Well," she giggles. "At least I'm not alone then."

"No," I say to her. "You're not alone. Are you alone, right now, I mean?"

"Yeah, pretty much just me and a can of ravioli for dinner tonight," she tells me.

"Canned Ravioli," I frown.

"It's not that bad," she says, hearing displeasure in my voice. "I don't feel like cooking. It tastes pretty good once you get use to it."

"Why don't I cook for you," I offer her. The thought of her eating canned Ravioli is making my stomach hurt.

"I can come and pick you up, or we can go out, whichever you prefer," I tell her.

"Christian," she says. "You don't have to do that, really."

"I'm pushing my luck again aren't I," I tell her disppointed.

"No," she says quickly. "I just don't want to be a bother."

"I assure you, you wouldn't be," I tell her. "I don't feel much like eating alone tonight, so you'd be helping me out."

"Well, then, I would love to help you out," she says. "Why don't I drive to you?"

I smile on the phone at the fact that she is willing to come over but also that she wants to drive herself to make a fast getaway if she needs to.

I bet she'll have a can of mace on her when she gets here. That thought doesn't sit too well with me when I think of what could be making her so cautious.

"Great," I tell her, trying not to sound overly anxious. "I live at the penthouse level of Escala. Just park in any space that's marked penthouse and my security guard will be waiting by the elevator to escort you up."

"Okay," she says. "I'll be there in twenty."

"Okay," I tell her. "Ana?"

"Yeah," she says catching herself before she hangs up.

"Are you really coming over," I check to be sure. "You won't back out?"

"Yes, I'm really coming," she laughs. "And no, I won't back out."

"Okay, I'll see you in twenty," I tell her and hang up.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **To my wonderful guest reviewer who is scared, rest assured this is an A and C story all the way.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	10. Partners In Crime

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Ten**

 **Partners In Crime**

 **Christian's POV**

I hang up with Ana and I run to my room like a crazed lunatic to change out of my suit and into something more comfortable.

I take the fastest shower I've ever taken in my life and decide on a gray pullover shirt and black jeans. I slap on some of the cologne Elliot gave me for my birthday, which he swears drive the ladies wild, and run my fingers through my slightly damp hair.

When I hear the elevator ping I haul ass to the great room with just enough time to catch my breath before she and Ryan walk into the foyer.

I sit down on the couch looking deep in thought, like I'd been contemplating the universe for the last twenty minutes instead of primping, as they proceed into the room.

"Miss. Anastasia Steele, Sir," he announces her.

"Thank you, Ryan," I tell him, standing up. He nods to me and takes Ana's coat before he disappears in the security room.

"How many of them do you have," she asks thumbing her hand back in the direction Ryan just went in.

"Quite a few," I confess.

"No Taylor tonight then," she asks nervously, now that she is actually here alone with me for the first time.

I smile and shake my head no.

"But Ryan will drop kick me as well. He's actually a cop," I assure her and she laughs.

"Good," she breaths out. "Not that I expect him to have to drop kick you, but it's good to know."

God she is beautiful.

She is wearing a white crocheted long sleeved shirt with a tight white skirt that is just hugging every inch of her.

"You came," I state the obvious.

"I told you I would," she tells me.

"You didn't even consider backing out," I check with her.

"Mmmm, maybe," she says, "once or twice."

I laugh as I try not to blatantly stare at her.

Her thick long chestnut brown hair is finally down and falling perfectly around her. She hasn't a stitch of make up on and her skin is flawless. Her cheeks are slightly pink and I'm not sure if it's from the chill outside or her blush.

She fidgets, letting me know I've been caught in my appraisal, but it doesn't stop her from staring at me. I stand hoping to appear unaffected as her eyes roam over me.

We stand checking each other out unabashed until she bites her lip and giggles at me.

"Oh I would love to know what's going on in that head of yours Anastasia Steele," I tell her and she blushes.

"You have a nice home," she says to me, looking around.

"Somehow, I don't think that was it, but thank you," I tell her.

She winks and smiles slyly at me.

"I'll put dinner on," I tell her, trying to stop my body from reacting to the slight gesture. "Anything you're allergic to or you don't like?"

"No," she says. "I'm in the mood for anything."

"Good to know," I tease her to make her blush.

"Fa…food wise," she clarifies and she indeed blushes.

"I figured," I tell her and she smiles.

I really should head to the kitchen, but now that she's here I'm reluctant to leave for the few moments it will take me to prepare our simple dish.

"On second thought," I tell her. "Why don't you come and keep me company."

I hold out my hand and she takes it. I lead her into the kitchen.

"Wow," she says. "Now this is a kitchen."

I sit her at the breakfast bar and she watches as I make quick work of preparing our meal.

"I can't believe you know how to cook," she tells me, impressed.

"I've just started learning," I confess. "I can make simple meals and I make a mean pancake."

"Mmmm, pancakes are my favorite," she tells me. I make a note of it at the same time trying to ignore that moan.

"Well when you join me for breakfast, I'll make them for you," I tell her.

I clear my throat when I realize how presumptuous that just sounded.

"I'm looking forward to it," she says and I nearly dropped the chicken I'm trying to put into the casserole dish.

 _Get a fucking grip Grey_

"So why didn't you feel like cooking tonight," I ask her.

"Oh, well I really don't like cooking for just myself," she explains. "Char…or Charlotte usually comes over, but she had to work late and Jose, my neighbor is in Tacoma visiting his parents. He won't be back until later, so there was no point."

I nod. I see an opportunity to go fishing and I take it.

"You three are very close," I ask her and she nods.

"I know you met Charlotte in college," I ask her. "Did you meet Jose when you moved here?"

"Yeah," she laughs at a memory. "The first day I moved in and I haven't been able to get rid of him."

"It's good to have friends," I tell her. "Jose is just a friend right?"

"Yes," she says. "He's just a really good friend."

 _Okay this approach isn't working_

"Are you seeing anyone, Ana," I just come right out with it.

"No," she says, shaking head. "I'm not and I…I don't have boyfriend."

"Good," I tell her and she smiles at me. "Well, I'm all done here. Why don't you go make yourself at home and I'll join you when I get this in the oven."

I take the Chicken Tetrazzini I just put together and put it in the oven to cook.

I open up a bottle of Sancerre and fill two glasses before I go in search of her. The fact that she is somewhere here in my apartment makes me grin like an idiot.

I find her at the floor to ceiling windows in the great room enjoying the view.

Her silhouette is framed by the glow of the window and she looks just as she does those nights when I find her in my dreams.

"Spectacular view," she says turning to me.

"I couldn't agree more," I tell her. I hold out her glass of wine and she frowns. "You don't like wine?"

"No," says taking the glass. "It's fine. Thank you."

She takes a tiny sip to taste it before she takes a real sip.

"This is very good," she says relaxing a bit.

She catches her breath at the sight of a helicopter whizzing toward the window. In the back my mind I wonder if she would like riding in Charlie Tango.

The fact that she instinctively moves closer to me for protection from the helicopter as it gets closer, does wonderful things to me.

She laughs giddily as it zips on past.

"This is amazing, you must love it up here," she exclaims excited as she finally turns away from the window.

"It definitely has its perks," I tell her thinking about her silhouette in the window.

I lead her over to the couch so we may sit down.

"How was your week, by the way," I ask her.

"Honestly, I am glad to see it go," she says.

"Why is that," I ask her.

"Well, it started off with my car not starting on Monday morning…" she starts.

"The car you just drove here in," I ask her and she nods.

 _Great. What if it breaks down again on her way home tonight?_

"Then to make it worse, I can't find my ipad," she says. "It just disappeared and I didn't even have any replacement insurance on the thing, so now I have to pay for that and the new one I'm trying to get. I swear its so much red tape. In the mean time, I have no way of communicating with my student's parents, unless I use the school's computer which is so slow because everyone uses it."

She stops and takes a breath.

"So that's why you haven't answered my emails," I realize and I say to her, relieved that she wasn't ignoring me.

"You emailed me? What did you say," she says in surprise.

"Which time," I ask her.

"How many times did you email," she asks me.

"Every day," I murmur.

"I...I'm sorry about that," she says lowering her head to hide her amused smile. "I didn't see any of them. I lost my ipad Tuesday."

With my free hand, I take hold of hers, causing her to look up at me.

"I like seeing your smile," I tell her.

Unable to help herself, she smiles wider at me.

Our eyes lock and, like me, she is unable to look away.

I watch entranced as her sky blue orbs dance back and forth studying my eyes that I'm sure are dancing the same as I study hers.

Dying to kiss her, I slowly lean forward, making my intentions clear and giving her a chance to push me away. I stop just shy of my lips touching hers, silently asking her permission to continue. She lifts her head slightly, giving me better access.

The tip of her bubble gum pink tongue slips out of her mouth to wet her lips causing me to moan at the sight of it.

Closing the minuscule distance, I press my lips gently to hers. Her body tenses for a split second before it relaxes into our kiss.

Relieved that she still hasn't pushed me away, I allow my tongue to gently graze her lips. She opens her mouth letting me in, causing me to moan again when I slip my tongue in to get a taste of her.

The white wine, cool mint toothpaste, and Ana is a heady mix.

She leans into me slightly. The moan that escapes her spurs me on, so I deepen the kiss.

I get carried away and stupidly I let go of her hand to reach for her.

The touch of my hand on the back of her head causes her to pull back away from my grasp.

She drops her wine glass and spills her drink all over herself and the couch.

"I'm sorry Christian," she frets, trying to wipe the couch with the sleeve of her shirt. "I'm such a klutz."

"Ana, its fine," I tell her getting upset because she is so upset.

"I'll pay for it," she says.

"You will do no such thing," I tell her, taking hold of her hand to stop her frantic wiping.

"Do you want me to go," she asks me.

"No," I tell her quickly. "Why would I want you to go?"

"I just ruined your expensive couch," she tells me.

"Baby, it's not that expense," I tell her and she looks at me doe-eyed.

 _Shit! I'm really going to freak her out if I start nicknaming her._

"Ana," I correct myself," I have two seven year olds that have spilled worse stuff than white wine on this couch," I tell her. "It's fine. I'm just worried about you being wet."

"I'll be okay," she says.

I get up and hold out my open hand to her.

"Come," I ask her. She grabs hold and I swear I will never let her walk without holding her hand. I don't know how I've managed it so long without her soft hand tucked in mine.

"Where are we going," she asks me.

"To change your clothes," I tell her.

"What," she stops walking. She tries to snatch her hand away but I hold firm.

"Please trust me, Ana," I beg of her.

She nods after a beat and walks with me upstairs.

She smiles at the pretty pink walls and princess castle paintings that is Phoebe's bedroom.

"Wow," she smiles at me. "I wish I were your daughter."

And my dick, which I had been fighting to keep at bay all night, just shriveled up at that unpleasant thought.

I laugh.

"What," she asks. "Oh," she laughs when she thinks about it.

I'll be right back.

I hurry downstairs to my room and bring her back some of my old draw stringed sweat shorts that are now too small and one of my WSU shirts I got from the farming division a while back.

"Phoebe has a rat," she asks me in surprise when I come in to find her looking at Wilfred moving about happily in his cage without a care in the world.

I know it is so unlike Phoebe to have a rat as a pet, but Ana completely gets it when I tell her the story of Wilfred and Jake the Snake. The fact that she fell in love with her rescue is just like Phoebe.

"Aww," Ana coos at him when he picks up a homemade yogurt drop and starts nibbling on it.

I roll my eyes at the little fucker who has so easily won both my girl's hearts.

I leave her to change while I go and check on dinner.

I let it sit to cool a while and she and I go off to the laundry room. We stand for a good ten minutes trying to figure out the complicated machine before we actually set her clothes to wash.

She sits at the dining room table while I serve up our Chicken Tetrazzini.

I try not to notice how fucking cute she looks in my clothes that are entirely too big, as I fill another glass of wine for her to drink.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier," I tell her. "Kissing you and all, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"No, I liked it," she says before she realizes the words are coming out of her mouth.

"So did I," I tell her quickly before she takes it back. "But I still freaked you out a little."

"It wasn't you," she tells me.

"Maybe when we get to know each other better, you'll tell me," I ask her.

"Maybe," she whispers.

"Dig in," I tell her as I slide the plate in front of her.

"Oh my God this is wonderful," she says in disbelief.

She takes another bite and moans dramatically.

The look of her lips as they wrap around her fork and the sound of her moaning goes right to my groin. I feel my dick begin to press into the zipper of my jeans.

"What are you going to do about your car," I switch gears and shift in my seat.

The fact that she is having trouble with it has been a craw in my side since she mentioned it.

"I'm supposed to go and see about trading it in for another one tomorrow," she tells me.

"But you're not sure," I ask her.

"I like my car," she tells me. "I don't want to give it up."

"So why don't you just keep it and get another one," I ask her.

"Wow," she says looking at me dreamily. "How the other half lives."

"Touché," I laugh. I really hope she didn't see the fleet of cars I have parked in the garage.

"Are all those cars yours parked in the garage," she asks me.

 _Damn!_

"They are," I confirm.

"Wow," she says again and I laugh.

I would offer to gift her a car, but I know damn well that wouldn't go over right.

"You might like the new car, you know," I tell her.

"Maybe," she says. "Change is good right?"

"Sometimes it can be **very** good," I tell her.

She squints her eyes at me.

"You are very cryptic when you talk," she says. "I never quite know what you mean."

"Me," I ask her and she nods.

"You," she says.

"What about you," I ask her. "Miss I Think Naughty Thoughts That Make Me Blush."

She laughs.

"Okay," she concedes. "We are both guilty of the crime."

"Well in that case," I lift of my wine glass and she follows suit. "Here's to partners in crime."

She grins and clinks her glass with mine before we sip.

All too soon she feels it's late and decides to head home.

Wanting to spend a few extra minutes with her, I ride the elevator down to her car myself instead of letting Ryan escort her.

I swear it was the longest elevator ride of my life.

The sexual tension that had been lingering between us all night was stifling in that elevator.

It took everything in me not to push her against the wall and have my way with her. The only thing that stopped me was her potential for freak out.

But the way she kept biting that lip to help control her breathing let me know that she was at least feeling it too.

I nearly pass out when she stops in front of an old faded blue VW bug.

" **This** is what you're driving," I say to her shocked.

"Yes," she says in amusement. "She's a classic."

"Jesus Christ," I tell her. "Let me drive home?"

"No way," she tells me. "She's not that bad."

"You can take one of my cars," I tell her.

I pull my phone out to call Ryan for keys when she places her hands on mine to stop me.

I've touched her hands three times already tonight, but something about her touching mine just pushes me over the edge I'm teetering on.

Unable to fight the pull I'm feeling towards her, I steal my second kiss of the night.

"I'm sorry," I tell her as I place my forehead on hers to catch my breath. "I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay," she breathes heavily. "I'm not exactly pulling away this time."

 _I'm making progress._

"I'll be fine," she says. "You don't have to lend me a car."

 _Oh my stubborn girl, what am I to do with you?_

I place my lips on her forehead before pulling back from her.

"Okay," I tell her, adjusting her coat so that she is covered and warm, "just be careful."

"I will," she says.

I open the door for her and she gets inside.

"Promise me you'll get that new car tomorrow," I tell her. "If not, one of these will be parked outside your building."

"I promise," she says quickly, knowing I'm serious. "Good night Christian."

"Good night, Ana," I tell her.

I wait until she pulls out of the garage before I walk back to the elevator, now a simple mundane contraption, now that I'm riding it back up alone.

...

 **Ana's POV**

I walk up to my front door and just like I knew it would, Jose's opens up.

"She's back," he calls back to Derrick. "OH. MY. GAWD! What the hell do you have on?"

 _Shit!_

I look down at Christian's clothes I am still wearing and look at Jose in surprise.

I shake my head, close my coat, and open my door. I try to hurry inside but it is of no use.

"Oh hellll no," Jose says in response at my attempt to get away.

He and Derrick quickly follow close behind me, Jose locking the door for me.

"Well," Jose says as he and Derrick wait to hear.

"Well what," I says to them as I take off my coat and take a seat on the couch.

Jose gets one look at the grin on my face, and gasp loudly.

"Ricky, get the Hennessy. She's got details," he says.

Derrick disappears into the kitchen and brings out the bottle of Hennessy along with three glasses.

We polish of nearly half the bottle as I tell them every detail of my dinner with Christian with the exception of the embarrassing wine spill.

"Oh it's so romantic," Jose says with a faraway look as he cradles his glass of whisky to his cheek.

"Wait," I say. "We're just friends."

"Oh will you stop with that," Derrick says. "That man is nowhere near the friend zone. The man has veered off the entire friend road and is now cruising on the freeway of love."

"WHAT," Jose and I fall out laughing.

My phone goes off and I look at the text message.

Already knowing its Christian, Jose takes the phone and reads the message out loud.

* * *

 **Christian:**

 **Making sure you got home safely. I won't be able to sleep until my stalkerness is satisfied.**

* * *

"Oh my Gawd," Jose says giving me back the phone.

* * *

 **Me:**

 **I am home safe, sound, and locked up tight so that you and your stalkerness can have sweet dreams tonight. Thank you for a wonderful evening, Christian :)**

* * *

 **Christian:**

 **It was my pleasure, Ana. Sweet dreams :)**

* * *

I sigh at my phone before I realize I have an audience. I look up to see Jose and Derrick staring intently at me.

I can't help but smile wide as I put my phone away.

"Guurrlll," Jose says to me and I laugh.

"Okay before we go, I just have one question," Jose says.

"What is it," I ask him.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR CLOTHES?"

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing**


	11. By Land, Air, And Sea

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Eleven**

 **By Land, Air, And Sea**

 **Saturday, November 7, 2015**

 **Christian's POV**

Even though the penthouse is empty while the twins are with Jess, I didn't wake up feeling alone. I feel, in fact, better than I have in months.

Last night with Ana was amazing. It was like my dream come to life and she is so much better than my imagination made her out to be.

That kiss we shared right before she left still lingers on my lips.

I have replayed every moment of last night in my head and now I have awakened with an incredible need to talk to her.

I look at the clock and it's only a bit after six in the morning. I resist the urge to call or text her, hoping that she is still asleep.

The fact that she is inconvenienced because of her missing iPad doesn't sit too well with me, especially since it cuts me off from emailing her as much as I'd like to. Fuck, listen to me. I am becoming completely infatuated with her.

 _Don't kid yourself Grey. This is more than a simple infatuation and you know it._

Saying fuck you to myself, I get out of bed a man on a mission.

First, I go to Phoebe's room and check on Wilfred. I take him out of his cage and let him ride on my shoulder while I go about cleaning it up for him.

He must sense my upbeat mood because he takes full advantage of it as he roots around my ear with his nose and climbs up on top my head, something I would have not allowed just yesterday morning. I put him back in his clean cage and feed him his breakfast, just as Phoebe made me promise I would.

After grabbing a shower, I head down to my home office. I need to research a company Ros has her eye on and has hopefully emailed me her report about. Even on baby bonding leave she's a workaholic.

"What," I say to whoever it is knocking on my door.

I frown in surprise when I see Taylor.

"Gail wants to know what you'd like for breakfast this morning," he asks me.

I wonder if these two get the concept of having the weekends off.

"I thought you were going up to see Sophie," I ask him.

"The ex and her husband are taking her to visit her grandparents in Portland, for the weekend" he tells me.

"Enough said," I tell him and he chuckles.

Taylor hasn't made it a secret that he doesn't approve of his ex wife's choice in husbands, him being the exception of course. He had the man vetted twice before he allowed him to be anywhere near Sophie.

I took a page out of his book and did the same with this Rob fucker, even though I'd already checked him out months ago. I'm just relieved Jess agreed to keep him away from the twins.

We will have to talk about him eventually because I don't believe I will ever want the likes of him around our kids, especially since he was so tragically irresponsible with his own.

"Regardless, it's still her day off," I tell Taylor now about Gail.

"It's best not to argue with her, Sir," he advises me and I shake my head at him.

I want to call him a wuss, but thinking about how I've so easily rolled over for Ana these last few days and knowing Taylor would call me on it, I decide against it.

"Whatever she feels like preparing is fine," I tell him instead. He nods and leaves.

Ana coming back in my mind like a vengeance. I make a call to, Barney Sullivan, the head of my IT department.

"Barney, I need a favor," I tell him.

"I'm you're guy Boss," he lets me know.

"Anastasia Steele, she's my kid's teacher and she recently lost her IPad," I start. "I want you to get in touch with her provider and replace it along with a new phone. Of course I want the latest. I want them fully loaded with all the bells and whistles along with insurance. Make sure she doesn't have to pay anymore than she already does."

"I'll get right on it, Sir. I just need her cell number," he tells me.

"I'll text it to you," I tell him. "How soon can you have this done?"

"Within the hour Sir," he tells me.

"Get in touch with Ryan when it's done," I tell him. "He'll pick them up and delivery them to me."

"Understood Sir," he tells me.

…

 **Ana's POV**

I am awakened by a loud knock on my door.

I groan because I already know who it is. Only one person would be up making this much ado at seven a.m.

I don't even bother putting on my robe to answer the door since my pajama pants and top are already very thick.

I look through the peephole to make sure it's who I think it is. I shake my head at the trio standing on the other side of the door. I almost decide not to open it, until Jose holds up a bag that better be food.

"Good morning sunshine," Jose says as he, Derrick, and Char come in with what smells like pancakes.

"Ooo nice panda PJs," Derrick says as he passes me.

Char goes straight into the kitchen and I can hear her readying the tea pot.

"Why are you all up this early on a Saturday," I ask them, literally scratching my head and frowning at the taste of my own cotton mouth.

"Car deals wait for no man," Jose says. "We may have to hit up several lots before we find what we're looking for."

"Are we really doing that today," I ask them, no longer in the mood to car shop.

"Uhhh, yeah," Jose says. "Unless you want your 'friend' to give you one of his cars, which I really wish you would…"

"Forget it, we're doing it," I give up and he smiles smugly.

"I figured you'd see it my way," he tells me.

I go to the bathroom to pee, wash my hands, and brush my teeth.

I look at myself in the mirror. I can't seem to stop from smiling when I think about Christian kissing me, not once but twice. I was so nervous to be alone with him. Terrified is a more accurate word, especially when I think about all the things that could have went wrong if I'd been wrong about being able to trust him.

 _But I'm happy I forced myself to go. I really liked spending time alone with him. He made me feel so at ease. Just the feel of his lips on mine…_

"Did you fall in," Jose calls to me, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Keep your shirt on," I yell back in annoyance.

"She's one to talk," I hear him say to Derrick and Char. "Her whole outfit was gone, okay."

I laugh in spite of myself.

…

"These pancakes taste like heaven," Char says as she takes another one from the serving tray.

"They do melt in your mouth," Derrick agrees with her. "I still think Ana cooks them better."

"Yes she does," Jose agrees.

"Aw, you guys," I say to them, waving them away.

I don't comment but I know Christian's pancakes will be the best I ever taste if what he cooked for me last night is any indication.

"I'll get it," Char says to the knock on the door.

"No, finish eating," I tell her and get up to get the door.

 _Holy Crap._

I look through the peephole again at the man standing there and turn around quickly to look back at my three friends sitting at the table. They stare at me in question.

"Taylor, hi," I say to him as I open my door.

"Good morning, Miss. Steele," he greets me.

"Come in." I tell him.

Faintly I hear someone's fork hit their plate as they drop it at me inviting someone in they are unfamiliar with.

"Thank you," he says walking into the living room.

"Good morning," he says to the trio.

They are staring with their mouths agape at the fine male specimen that is Taylor.

"Goood morrrning," they all sing to him in unison, much like my class does to greet me in the mornings.

"I'm sorry to intrude," he tells me.

"Not at all," I tell him.

"Mr. Grey asks me to deliver this to you," he says handing me a pink and white package.

I am familiar with the logo, so I already have some idea of what it is, but I open it and look up at Taylor in question anyway. I question him only because I can't believe Christian has done what I think he's done. Clearly he has because the evidence is now in my hand.

"The IPad is to replace the one you lost," he explains it to me.

"And the phone," I ask him.

"Just because," he says.

"Just because," I repeat and he nods in affirmation.

I look at the print out that sits on top of the package

"And is this a list of cars with…." I start and stop to read it again, "the best car safety ratings?"

Taylor smiles guiltily.

"He means well Ma'am," he tells me of his boss.

I laugh, no longer doubting it to be true.

 _What am I going to do with him?_

"Will you…uh…" I stop and look over at my trio who pretends to busy themselves at the table while they listen in. "Will you thank him…for everything. And I will, um….make good use of the…items later tonight."

"Yes, Ma'am, I certainly will tell him," he tells me.

"You all have a nice day now," he then tells my trio.

"Byyyee," they sing to him and unashamedly study his ass as he goes.

"Touch me in the morning and then just walk away," Jose coins the Diana Ross song to describe Taylor.

"Ow," he says when Derrick smacks him on his arm for the comment. "Oh like you weren't drooling over him."

…

 **Christian's POV**

"Did she hate it," I ask Taylor as he enters my office.

"On the contrary, Sir, she was quite pleased," he tells me. "She wanted me to be sure to thank you. But don't expect her to respond until later tonight though."

"Why is that," I ask him.

"She was with a few of her friends and they were in the mood for teasing," he tells me and I nod in understanding.

"Good," I tell him, relieved that she's okay with the gift. "Thank you, Taylor."

"My pleasure, Sir," he tells me.

I asked Taylor to go to Ana with the hopes that she would be more at ease with him. She appears to have some trust in him since he was there with us on Halloween. I certainly didn't want a repeat of my previous fuck-up.

My cell phone rings and I see its Phoebe calling.

"Hey, Babydoll," I greet her.

"Hi, Daddy," she says to me.

"Hi, Dad," Teddy says and I realize she has me on speaker.

"Hey, Son, how are you guys," I ask them. "Are you having fun with Mom?"

"Uh huh," Phoebe says. "She made us pancakes for breakfast. They were good."

"Not as good as yours," Teddy whispers in secret.

"Nope," Phoebe whispers in agreement and I smile. "Is Wilfred okay?"

"He's fine Babydoll," I assure her. "He ate all of his breakfast."

"Do you miss us," she asks me. I can hear the concern for me being left here alone in her voice.

"I miss you both so much," I tell them. "But don't worry about daddy. I want you to have fun with mommy and when I see you, you can tell me all about it."

"Okay," she says, happily.

"We love you, dad," Teddy tells me.

"I love guys," I tell them.

…..

 **Ana's POV**

"Okay what about this car," Char says. "It's a great color."

It is a candy apple red mustang convertible and I like it. Maybe the color is too flashy for my taste, but it could grow on me.

"It's not on Christian's list," Jose says. "It must suck."

I shake my head. He is following that list of cars like it's the Bible.

"Hello there," a man in a ill fitting dark green suit, who we all assume is a car salesman comes up to us. "I see this beauty has caught your interest…"

"Not really," Jose says to him. "But, do you have any cars on this list?"

We all collectively groan as Jose gives him the list.

"Preferably on clearance," Derrick says.

"With not a big down payment," Char says.

"And no more than four hundred a month," I add.

"I believe we may have a few," the man says. "Which one of you is looking to buy?"

"I am," I say to him.

"Well nice to meet you, I'm Robert Rogers," he holds out his hand to me.

"Ana," I say and he shakes my hand, when he gives it back to me I almost want to wipe it.

"Ana," he repeats my name with too much familiarity. "I'm the owner of this little lot here and I'm sure we'll be able to find you a car that's as lovely as you are. One that will, most definitely fulfill all your needs."

"We'd ALL appreciate that," Derrick says and I guess I'm not the only one sleazed -out by this car dealer guy. He looks like he wants to pick his teeth with me.

Robert, as he wants to be called, takes my driver's license and does the necessary checks. He must be pleased because he comes back with a mile wide grin and is now even sleazier than before.

He takes us around showing us the cars he has on the list. He patiently opens each door for me and allows me to sit in the driver's seat to get a feel of each car while he demonstrates all of the features.

By the third car I get the feeling that good old Robert is getting a bit too touchy feely the way he purposely leans over me when pointing out things. So I opt out of the sit down demonstration on the fourth car.

Finally I find the car I was meant to have. I love it. I loved everything about it on sight. Of course I don't let sleazy Robert know how much I want it.

After him, Derrick, and I take it for a test drive, I am sold.

...

Fittingly the rain begins to pour as I say goodbye to my baby blue beetle. I take a moment to reminisce about all the fun times we had together.

But oh how quickly I forgot about my VW beetle bug baby once I got behind the wheel of my brand new blue 2015 Hyundai Geneses.

"See I told you," Jose starts as we pull out of the lot. "These little mom and pop spots always have the best deals."

"And the shadiest of dealers," Derrick says and we laugh.

"Well that's what we get for coming out to the boondocks," Char says.

"Shoreline is not the boondocks," Jose says to her. "And I'm hungry."

"Me too," Derrick says.

"I swear it's like we have two three years olds back there," Char says to me as she rides shot gun and I laugh as we pull into a Jack in the Box fast food restaurant.

…..

Once at home I ask Jose to take a picture of me with my new car.

"Pose sexy," he tells me.

I try several different poses, until finally tiring of Jose saying, "that's not sexy", I just tell him to take the damn picture.

I go inside and lock up tight before I get my new iPad out to email Christian.

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Thank You**

 **Date: November 7, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **for my phone and IPad. They are very highly appreciated. They are also proof that your stalking knows no bounds. How did you manage to access my provider information anyway?**

 **In awe of your stalker capabilities, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

I push send and I laugh at the thought of his face reading that email.

I'm excited that he answers me right away.

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: I am so**

 **Date: November 7, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **busted and I am also so pleased that you are impressed with my stalking abilities.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **Your friendly neighborhood stalker and CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

 **P.S. Please tell me you got yourself a car today. If not, I have a very nice one on standby.**

* * *

I grab my phone and send him the picture of me sitting in my new car and I text him:

 **Me:** **Well my friendly neighborhood stalker, I hope you are pleased that I just** **christened my new phone by sending you my first photo and text.**

 **Christian:** **It pleases me a great deal and I love the car. The color brings out your eyes.**

I blush

 **Christian:** **Are you blushing?**

 **Me: Stop making me do that! I'm happy you are pleased, after all, the car was on your safety list.**

 **Christian:** **:)**

I laugh at his smiley face.

 **Christian: Why don't you come by and pick me up tomorrow. You can take me for a spin in your new car.**

I read his email and quickly dial his number.

"Hey," he answers my call.

"Are you serious," I ask him.

"Yes, of course," he tells me. "Unless you already have plans to take it out..."

"No, no," I tell him quickly. "I don't have plans."

"Great, how about you come by around eleven," he says. "We'll have lunch before we go."

"Okay," I tell him.

"How was your day," I ask him not ready to get off the phone with him yet.

"Boring," he says. "I spent most of it held up in my office. I needed to get some work done."

"Somehow I don't think what you do is boring," I tell him. "To hear Teddy tell it, it is very exciting."

"Teddy talks about my work," he asks and I can hear the pride mixed with surprise in his voice.

"He talks about your work and you quite often," I tell him. "You are his hero."

"I had no idea," he tells me.

"I'm not surprised," I tell him. "Teddy is good at keeping his feelings close to the vest. I think he gets that from you."

"I guess he does," he laughs. "But there are other things I'd rather be doing on a Saturday besides working."

"Like what," I ask him.

"Taking the kids out on The Grace, my catamaran or flying in Charlie Tango, my helicopter."

"You have a catamaran and you have a helicopter," I say in surprise. " **You** actually sail and fly the helicopter?"

"Yes and yes," he tells me.

"Wow," I say and he laughs. "I guess you can stalk by land, air and sea."

He laughs harder.

"Am a really that bad," he asks me.

"Eh, not that bad," I tell him. "But I do get the feeling you are holding back for my benefit."

"Your feelings serve you well," he tells me.

"Did you just mean to sound like Darth Vader," I ask him and he laughs.

I do a really bad "Luke, you don't know the power of the dark side," in my breathy Darth Vader voice and he laughs again.

"Jesus Christ, Ana, I swear I never laugh this much," he says trying to catch his breath and I smile, pleased with myself.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **For those of you who have asked about a pinterest page it is under the story title daretoloveagain.**

 **I would like to give thanks to aprilh46 for naming Christian the friendly neighbohood stalker.**

 **Thank you all for reading, favoriting, following, and reviewing.**


	12. The Falls

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twelve**

 **The Falls**

 **Sunday November 8, 2015**

 **Ana's POV**

I am in the middle of making sure I have everything before I head out the door to pick up Christian, when I hear my text message alert go off.

 **Christian: I'm really looking forward to today.**

 **Me: Me too. I'll be leaving here shortly.**

 **Christian: The code to the elevator is 1880.**

 **Me: Okay, see you soon.**

I make sure I have the code memorized before I delete that text. I don't feel right leaving it on my phone.

I give myself a once over again in my full length mirror.

I am wearing dark gray jeans, a burgundy sweater, and hiking boots.

I laugh as I look at myself because I'm sure Christian also wants to give me a looking over before we leave for our trip.

During our talk last night, he mentioned some of the places he likes to go and one was a hiking trail about thirty minutes out of Seattle.

I suggested that we go check it out. I'm sure he's still not taking me seriously when I tell him I like hiking. I can't be the daughter of two military men and not like outdoor activities in some form or fashion.

I'm not into exercise, that is true, but I love a good nature hike now and again.

I'll just bet he thinks I'm going to show up in Louboutin high heeled boots and a mini skirt, never mind the fact that I can't even afford Louboutin. If I've learned anything about Christian Grey, I'm sure he has a pair of hiking boots waiting for me at Escala, just in case.

….

 **Christian's POV**

Ana has surprised me by suggesting we go for a hike today after I told her about one of my favorite spots.

When Mia, Elliot and I were kids, mom and dad use to take us to Snoqualmie Falls and we'd stay at the Salish Lodge for a few days.

Being a Pediatrician who always grew too attached to her patients, didn't leave a lot of time for mom to just take off for extended vacations as much as she wanted to, so Salish Lodge was a perfect compromise.

It's only a forty five minute drive away from the hospital where mom works so she could still be available for her patients should emergencies occur, all the while spending time with us.

As we became teenagers, she and dad would make it a point to take us somewhere special every year. Elliot liked Pisa, Italy. He was fascinated with the leaning tower of Pisa. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. Mia loved Paris, same as mom. But Dad and I loved touring the palaces of Versailles, France.

I would tell myself when I grew up and became rich, I would live in a Palace similar to the ones there. I never got around to building one, so I guess Escala will have to do for the time being.

Showered and dressed in a pair of blue jeans, an olive green sweater, and hiking boots, I wait for Ana to arrive.

I called Phoebe and Teddy to let them know that my phone may be out of service for most of the day just in case I can't get a signal on the hike. I assured them that I will be here to have dinner with them when they get home from their weekend with Jess.

Now they know to call their Uncle Elliot for emergencies which to them is the next best thing to me.

The elevator pings and I go in anticipation to see Ana.

I meet Reynolds in the foyer as he comes out of the security office. I let him know that I'll take care of things myself and he retreats quickly back to his post.

"Hi," I greet her as she steps off of the elevator.

"Hi yourself," she tells me.

Her eyes dart over my body and she quickly raises them back up to look at me, hoping she didn't just get caught.

The smirk she is now seeing on my face lets her know I didn't miss her scrutiny.

I try. I really try hard not to do it, but fuck me, she looks so good in her jeans and sweater, and those cute little boots. I can't help myself.

I hold out both of my hands to her and she takes hold, placing her small hands in mine.

 _Even with the slight autumn chill outside her hands are warm._

I pull her slightly closer to me and lean down for a kiss. She lifts her head up so that her lips meet mine.

What started as a friendly peak on the lips became her and me tongue kissing it up in the middle of the foyer for five minutes straight.

I purposely interlock my fingers with hers to let her know I got the message and I won't reach for her this time.

Our lips part simply out of a need to breathe.

"Hi," I pant out to her as our foreheads support one another.

"Hi," she breathes back at me.

"I like the outfit," I tell her holding her at arm's length to get a look at her. I am relieved that she is at least dressed properly for the hike.

"Thank you," she says to me amused. "And do you like the boots?"

"They are…" I stop when I look at her face.

"You know I bought some for you, don't you," I tell her.

"Well, I figured a guy who would take the time to look up car safety facts for me would make sure I had the proper hiking gear on," she laughs and I join her.

 _She certainly has your number Grey._

I take her backpack and put it next to my gear, while we have our meal.

We sit at the breakfast bar and eat a light lunch of turkey and avocado wraps with a fruit and veggie platter Gail left in the fridge.

I try not to stare at her as she eats, but it's one of the few moments I get to watch her unguarded.

I know she has no clue that she does it but sometimes she makes these soft moans in the back of her throat when she gets a good bite and once again my groin is painfully aware of her presents.

Suddenly an idea enters into my head and I run with it before I can think better about it.

I take my turkey wrap and sloppily put it in my mouth to take a bite. I wait for Ana to notice me.

"Um," she says trying not to laugh when she looks at me.

"What," I say, keeping my poker face, like I am completely oblivious of the fact that I have a hunk of avocado on the side of my mouth.

"You just have a little something," she says wiping at her own mouth with her finger to demonstrate what I need to do.

Of course I wipe everywhere but where she is indicating.

"Did I get it," I ask her holding my face so that she may inspect it.

"Uh, not really," she says."Here, let me just…,"

She takes her hand and lightly cups my cheek. Her thumb brushes away the avocado from the corner of my mouth.

I try not to react to the feel of her warm, soft hand on my face, but I want so much to lean into it.

Satisfied that she got it all, she takes her hand away. I hope she didn't hear my sharp intake of breath when I watch her suck my avocado off of her thump.

Damn! I feel like a dirty bastard going to such lengths to get her to touch me, but I have been craving her touch since our first kiss.

And, fuck, watching her suck that thumb after it just touched my mouth was sexy as all hell.

…

"What's all that," she asks me looks over at my large backpack.

"Just stuff we might need," I tell her.

"Like what," she asks me.

"Umbrellas, water, snacks," I tell her.

"You don't need to carry that big thing," she tells me. "I already packed what we need."

I look at that little green backpack she has and shake my head.

"It's a really long hike," I explain to her. "I want us to be prepared."

Then she does the move she did the night I first saw her waiting to talk to me after class: She rolls those big baby blues.

I clear my throat and discreetly readjust myself on my seat, trying to stop my body's reaction to the gesture.

She goes over and picks up her light weight backpack and begins to unpack it.

My mouth hangs open more and more as I get a look at everything that is in that little thing: Two full sized umbrellas, two water canisters, a first aid kit, a large bag of trail mix, power bars, warming blankets, and two flashlights. With the exception of the water and the food, everything folds compactly to fit.

"What is this," I ask her picking up one of the tiny yellow packs.

"Rain slickers," she says.

"Rain slickers," I repeat and she nods.

"Coat and hat," she says.

I pick it up to inspect it again and sure enough it says it on the package.

"You can't be too prepared," she says about the item in my hand. "We'll look like the Gorton's fisherman, but at least we'll be dry."

I laugh at the image.

"How did all this fit in that little backpack," I say more to myself than to her.

"It's all in the way you pack it," she shrugs.

"There's not a full size tent tucked in there," I tease and she looks at me wide eyed.

"I knew I shouldn't have taken it out," she tells me in all seriousness.

I stare at her and watch as her face cracks into a smile.

"You got me," I tell her.

"Well," she explains. "If either one of my Dads ever found out I went hiking without this backpack, I wouldn't be able to sit for a week."

The thought of me making her not be able to sit for a week arouses me all over again.

 _For fuck sakes get a hold of yourself Grey. That is not going to happen anytime soon, if ever._

…..

 **Ana's POV**

"Hello, Miss. Steele," the security guard delivery man greets me while I wait for Christian by the elevator.

"Hello," I say to him awkwardly.

"I never got the opportunity to apologize for frightening you the other day," he tells me. "It was not my intention."

"No need," I tell him. "I completely overreacted."

"Reynolds," Christian says his name when he comes to join us. "I won't need you this trip."

"Understood, Sir," he tells Christian.

"Miss. Steele," He nods to me and I wave goodbye.

"Shall we," Christian says to me as he slips on his jacket and calls for the elevator.

"We shall," I tell him as we step in.

The moment the elevator doors close, the air around us becomes static electric.

I shift slightly away from Christian hoping he wouldn't notice my need for space.

He looks at me and I can tell he noticed.

"It's not just me is it," he says to me. "You feel it too?"

"Yes," I look at him and swallow hard.

"Ana," he says my name. His voice is low and husky with need.

He slowly moves closer to me and I know his intent is dangerous but at the moment it's exactly what I want, so I move closer to him.

The ping of the elevator causes me to pull back right before our lips touch.

We are stopped on the eight floor as an elderly couple enters the elevator to ride down with us.

"Good afternoon," they greet Christian and I.

"Good afternoon," we say back to them.

We all stand and watch the numbers fall. I dare not look over at Christian again for fear of a flaming red face.

He takes hold of my hand and pulls me so that I am closer to his side as we ride the rest of the way down.

"Have a good day," the elderly couple tells us as we part ways.

"Same to you," Christian and I say together and we laugh at ourselves because of it.

Never letting go of my hand, he walks with me to my new car.

"Now this is more like it," he tells me.

He puts our stuff in the trunk, including that big back pack he still insist on bringing for some reason, and walks around the car to inspect it. I'm surprised he hasn't asked me to pop the hood as meticulously as he is looking at it. He even hits the tires with his boot like Ray use to whenever I left home.

"Pop the hood," he says, and I realize I spoke to soon.

"Christian," I scold. "It's a brand new car."

"I just want to check that all the fluids are topped off," he says.

I climb in the driver's seat and pop the hood.

About ten minutes later, after he's done cleaning his hands he sits down next to me.

"Well," I ask him.

"We're good to go," he tells me.

"Yaaay," I silently clap my hands in glee.

I take his directions until we hit the I-90 then he sits back and relaxes while I drive the long stretch of road.

My new blue baby purrs like a kitten. It feels good not to have to pump the gas repeatedly to make it go.

Deciding to see what she can do, I hit the gas pedal driving the speedometer up past 80mph. I'm grining from ear to ear at how easy she is to drive.

I ease up a bit off the gas when Christian gives me a look. _Oops,_ I shrug guiltily and settle down into my seat a bit more.

I steal a glance at him and he is smiling at me.

"Eyes on the road, Mario Andretti," he tells me and I laugh.

We drive through the Snoqualmie Parkway and end up in deep woods. I keep driving, trusting he knows where he is directing me to, but I don't know how anyone could remember how to get to anywhere in all of these thick trees. He's not even using GPS or anything.

"That's the Snoqualmie River he explains to me as we drive over it. We'll stop by there later," he tells me and I nod.

We come to a clearing and there sits a beautiful lodge. I smile at him and he smirks at me.

"I love lodges," I exclaim.

"I figured," he says to me. "Most girls do."

I laugh.

He takes our backpacks out from the trunk and then takes my hand as we walk into the lodge. He gives the receptionist his name and she gives him a room key.

I don't say anything, but I can't help but wonder what is going on. This is by far the most bizarre hiking trip I've ever been on. Usually we don't get rooms to hike a trail.

He takes my hand again and nearly has to tug me along to the room.

"Christian..." I start as we stand outside the room door.

"It's just a place to put our stuff," he tells me as we enter the room.

My God, what a beautiful room it is, complete with a cozy fireplace.

And I can't help but notice the very large bed he throws our things on.

I stop myself from panicking but I still feel the need to leave this room.

"You ready," he asks me.

"Yes," I tell him, quickly turning away from the bed.

I start to walk away but he keeps me in place by holding my hand.

"Hey," he says to me. "You can trust me."

"I…I'm really trying," I tell him honestly.

He smiles at me.

"I know," he tells me. "Come on."

I grab my backpack and go to put it on.

"You really think I'm going to let you carry the backpack," he tells me as he grabs it and puts it on.

"Lime green is definitely your color," I tease him.

"Oohhh funnny," he tells me as he ushers me out the door.

…..

We take our hike, deciding to stay on the paved and gravel roads. The dark gray clouds that are chasing away the fluffy white ones above us look a bit too ominous to trek around on dirt that could quickly become mud during a down pour.

We open up to each other a little more. He tells me about his parents and his siblings and how they use to come up here all the time to get away.

I tell him about growing up with two dads, who because of me became best friends. I left out the part about them fighting to get me away from Carla. No need to dampen a nice trip.

He purposely leaves out his wife and I don't know if that's for my benefit or his, not wanting to bring her up. I chalk it up to him not being ready to talk about her yet, so I fight off my curiosity for the time being. I shake the thought of her away as we round our way back to the lodge.

I want to show you something else he says to me as we walk beyond the lodge to what I remember is the river.

"Oh wow," I say as I see the large waterfall cascading into the river. "That is amazing."

"Come on," he says taking my hand. "let's go down and get a closer look."

"We can do that," I ask him, excited.

"Sure," he says and leads me down a flight of stairs.

I wonder what's next when the steps run out. I watch as he hops down the rest of the way and then looks up at me. I raise an eyebrow at him to ask if he seriously expects me to jump that far down.

"It's not as high as it seems," he assures me. "Trust me."

 _Trust. There is that word again._

I take a deep breath and I decide to trust him.

I really want to close my eyes and jump but I know better. I get down as low as I can so that I am practically sitting on the ground and I jump.

I stick the landing. But then I go to walk and misstep.

I nearly stumble on past Christian, until he catches me reflexively and holds me close to him to stop my fall.

I cover my face with the palms of my hands and bury my head in his chest as I laugh, embarrassed at my clumsiness.

He wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head.

"Are you okay," he chuckles into my hair.

"I'm fine," I say as I look up at him still laughing until it dawns on me that I am in his arms.

We stand frozen, lost in each other's eyes, unable to break whatever spell we are both under until the crack of thunder in the distance brings us back to ourselves.

"Thanks for the save," I tell him, stepping out of his embrace.

"My pleasure," he says to me.

He holds out his hand and I gladly take it. We walk closer to the waterfall.

"Are your boots waterproof," he asks me and I nod yes.

He leads me into the shallow part of the water that only covers up to the toe of my boot. But me being me, I want to get closer so I pull us in deeper. The water is now just below my knees and Christian's shins. The roar of the waterfall as it splashes the river below is horrendous as we get closer.

Fate must have gotten real pissed at me for not falling like she wanted me to earlier because she sure makes up for it now. And as she would have it, I step in soft mush and fall flat on my ass.

I am now chest deep in icy cold water. The drop in temperature leaves my body temporarily stunned.

Christian, who is still holding my hand, is caught off guard and in what appears to be slow motion, I watch as his six foot frame comes crashing down on top of me.

Luckily, he finds a way to miss me and ends up on his hands and knees in front of me.

I laugh in his face and end up screaming when he splashes water on me, purposely wetting up the parts of me that remained dry after the fall.

I splash him back and we end up in a water fight. I try to get up and fall flat on my ass again.

This strikes Christian as hilariously funny. I splash water in his face and he starts to choke as it goes down his throat.

"I'm sorry," I say to him concerned as he coughs and I scream as he then splashes me back.

Suddenly, the sky falls in and the storm clouds that had been threatening rain all day begin to pour.

"Oh no," I say as I look up at the sky, letting the hard raindrops fall on my already wet face.

The few people that were at the waterfall make a run for it, but there is no need for a soaking wet Christian and I to hurry.

 _So much for my rain slickers._

Christian gets up, takes me by my hands, and pulls me up.

Suddenly the cold from the icy water hits me and I begin to tremble.

"Come on, let's go get you dry," he tells me.

He hoists me up the little cliff. I wait for him to climb up and we race back to the lodge to our room.

"Oh my God," I say as we go inside. I am chilled to the bone right now and I try to keep my teeth from chattering.

He turns on the fireplace and stands me by the fire.

He helps me take off my boots, socks, and jacket.

"There are towels and a robe in the bathroom he tells me. I nod thankfully and hurry inside to get out of my cold wet clothes.

I dry myself off and slip on the soft fluffy white robe. I dry my hair with the little blow dryer I found and pull it back into a bun.

By the time I come back out, Christian is dressed in his own robe with his normally messy hair slicked back on his head.

He holds out his hand to me and I join him by the fire.

"Mmmm," I say as I start to feel warm.

"How about some hot chocolate," he asks me.

"Yes, please," I say loving the sound of that right now.

"Do you want to go down to the dining room or have room service bring it up," he asks me.

"But how are we going to go down when our clothes are…." I stop and look at him. "You brought us extra clothes didn't you?"

"I did," he nods.

"How do you do that," I ask him.

Do what," he says in confusion.

 _Make me feel so safe and cared for._

"Nevermind," I say. "I would prefer to have it in here, unless you want to go down…"

"No," he says quickly and goes over to call room service.

…..

"Mmmm," I say, as I dunk one of the almond biscotti Christian ordered into my hot chocolate and eat it.

"This is really good," I tell Christian as I see his dark gray eyes becoming even darker as he looks at me while I'm eating.

He simply nods his head.

"So Elliot is the owner and CEO of Grey Construction," I ask him as we lay next to each other on the large bed with our robes still on.

"And Mia is studying culinary arts," he tells me.

"What about your dads," he asks me.

"Both are ex army. Ray is a retired carpenter, but he still makes furniture on special order." I tell him.

"And your other dad," he asks.

"Frank is a musician," I tell him. "He plays bass guitar for his band. And he is also founder of a charity that helps veterans in need."

"Really," he says surprised and I laugh.

"Mhm," I tell him. "He suffered very badly with PTSD and music really helped him to cope with it."

"I know what that's like," he says and I look at him in question.

"I play the piano for similar reasons," he says and I can tell he doesn't want to say anymore than that.

"Are you any good," I ask him.

"So I've been told," he tells me.

"Well," I say. "You two should jam together for one of his benefit concerts."

"I would love to," he tells me sincerely.

I giggle at the thought.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Once again, thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	13. Me And My Big Mouth

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

 **Me And My Big Mouth**

 **Christian's POV**

"Ana," I call her name after she's been a bit too quiet for too long.

"hmm," she says, and I look over at her. I realize she was falling asleep and I smile.

"Why did you decide to stay here instead of going down to the dining room," I ask her. "I know how uncomfortable you were before being here alone with me."

"It wasn't being here alone with you," she tells me. "I just get scared sometimes, when I don't know what's going on. It's hard to explain it."

I take that to mean she's not ready to tell me.

"I never want you to be afraid of me," I tell her. The thought is devastating to me.

"I know," she says hesitatingly.

"Are you afraid I'll try to get you to do something you don't want to do," I ask her.

"Christian," she says my name and turns her head around to face me. "Believe me when I tell you, it's not you. I don't trust people easily anymore. I did once, it was a huge mistake and I ended up getting hurt. The fact that I am here, practically naked in this bed with you….I trust you Christian."

"Why," I ask her.

"Why what," she asks me.

"Why do you trust me and not…others," I ask her.

"Honestly, if you weren't Teddy and Phoebe's dad, I probably wouldn't have trusted you. Teddy was so sweet on Halloween, I just couldn't say no to his invitation for pizza," she tells me, "I got to know you a little that night, that and the fact that Mr. Ramsey hasn't warned me to stay away from you. You know he hates everybody."

I laugh at the truthfulness in that statement. It took me a year for good ole Chuck to even consider doing business with me. When I first started GEH, he owned CCR Telecommunications Company. He was selling it in preparation for his retirement. I knew his company would help catapult mine and make it stronger. I had to have it, otherwise GEH would have been easily swallowed up.

I worked my ass off for damn near a year to get into his good graces. When he realized I wasn't just some young hot shot playing at running a company, he not only sold CCRTC to me, but he publically backed GEH. His endorsement really helped me to be taken seriously as young as I was back then.

"Well, thank God for Mr. Ramsey and my kids," I tell her. The thought of her not giving me the time of day is abhorrent to me. She has been running wild in my dreams since night one.

"You should," she tells me, "especially since you chewed me out that first night."

I laugh.

"Oh come on," I say to her. "You were being completely distracting."

"I wasn't that bad," she defends herself. "It was just a little giggle."

"Trust me Ana," I tell her. "It was much more than a little giggle."

"Okay and the eye roll," she concedes.

"Thank you," I tell her.

What I don't tell her is how much she turned me on that first night and still does to this day. Giving her current state of undress, I don't think she'd appreciate it.

"It wasn't my fault all those girls were making fools of themselves," she says.

"What girls," I tell her, having no clue what she means.

"Oh come on," she says. "I'm surprised their boobs didn't hit you in the face the way they were leaning all on your desk. They pounced on you like a cat on catnip."

I laugh.

"But," she adds. "Did my eye roll warrant, and I quote, 'I don't know what type of games you are used to playing or what teachers you are used to dealing with, but this class will be taken seriously. I will not tolerate disruptive giggling or disrespectful eye rolling.' you were a tyrant," her deep voice she used to imitate me has now returned to normal.

 _Did I really say all that?_

"Did I really say that," I voice the question out loud.

"You sure did," she says, "but a whole lot nastier. I'd hate to be on the receiving end of you during one of your business takeovers if that's how you are."

She stares up at the ceiling in thought.

I take her hand that is closest to me and interlock it with mine.

"I deeply apologize for my despicable behavior," I tell her.

She was ready to respond until I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed her knuckles.

She turns her head to look at me and our eyes lock.

She bites her lip in uncertainty. I take my free hand and place it on her chin to release her lip. She smiles shyly at me.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," I tell her honestly.

Remembering her no touch rule, I go to move my hand away and she stops me. She takes my hand and places it on her cheek.

I trace the side of her face with my fingers tips and watch as her eyes flutter close from the feel of my touch.

Taking a chance, I move my hand to the back of her head and pull her forward. She comes willingly into me.

She moans when our lips meet. I slip my tongue in her mouth causing her to moan again. She takes her hand and places it behind my head to pull me closer, causing me to moan.

"Ana," I whisper to her when she pulls back, not wanting it to end.

"Don't freak out," I beg of her as she remembers herself and starts to move away from me.

"I'm not freaking out," she laughs. "I'm just...turning over."

She turns so that her back is to my front.

"Can I hold you," I ask her.

"I'd like that," she says.

I put my arm around her. She interlocks her small fingers with my own.

I will my dick to calm down and I purposely keep him away from touching Ana. He has been hard since she grabbed the back of my head to pull me close to her.

"Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you," I ask her.

She giggles.

"You are the enigma here, Mr. Grey. You have me asking that same question about you all the time," she confesses.

"Have you come up with an answer yet," I ask her. I lift up and rest my head on my hand to hear the answer.

"No," she whispers. "But I'm still here, trying to figure it out."

"Thank God for that," I tell her.

I kiss her cotton robe covered shoulder before I settle down to enjoy the feel of finally having her in my arms. I've wanted to hold her for so long.

My hard on has finally gone down, allowing me to scoot closer to her.

In response, she tucks her ass into the space between us in an effort to snuggle closer.

 _Fuck!_ I think to myself when my dick comes alive again at the contact.

I knew I should have jacked off a few times before she came to Escala. I knew there was no way in hell he could last this long with her and not respond. Now she's going to think I'm just lusting after her, trying to get in her panties.

 _Which she is not even wearing right now._

Damn, that thought doesn't help calm him down at all.

I thought she would scoot away, but she stays put, pretending not to feel the hard rod pressed in the back of her thigh.

I breathe a sigh of relieve when he finally realizes he's not getting any action today and settles back down. Now I can finally relax with her.

I smirk when I feel her body shake, trying to hide the fact that she is laughing at me.

If she only knew the things I want to do with her.

 **…** **.**

 **Ana's POV**

"Shit. Ana wake up," I hear Christian say as he jumps out of bed.

"Wa…What's wrong," I say to him looking around the room for signs of trouble.

"We fell asleep," he says. "I need to get back before the twins get home."

I look at the clock and its well after four p.m.

"Shit," I say, sharing his sentiment and he laughs at how fast I hop up.

He gives me clothes to put on along with new bra and panties.

"Concierge," he answers when I look up at him with an unspoken question.

I decide I don't even want to know anymore and I hurry to the bathroom to change.

I feel like an idiot when I try to pee quietly so he doesn't hear it fall in the toilet. It's not like he doesn't know I pee.

I wash my hands and take a minute to look at the pretty dark blue bra and panties he got me. I am relieved to see that they are in good taste. I smile as I slip them on.

This is the first time a man has bought me underwear, unless I count that humiliating experience with dad.

He took me to the department store to buy me my first bra when I was twelve. I will never forget the two of us standing there in a sea of bras trying to figure out my cup size. Finally, a sales lady took pity on us and helped me out.

 _Okay, no I won't count that._

I quickly dress in the blue jeans, light blue sweater, thick white socks, and dark brown boots he packed for me. They are all a perfect fit.

I undo my hair, brush it, and pull it back in a messy pony tail.

I hope Christian is dressed as I come out of the bathroom.

I don't know if I'm more relieved or disappointed to see that he is.

...

I let him drive us back, knowing that he will get us there quicker. I relax and take in the scenery I missed while I was driving up here. This truly is a beautiful place.

"Ana," I hear Christian call my name and I wake up to see we are parked at Escala.

 _Crap, he must think I have narcolepsy as much as I nod off._

"Did we beat the twins home," I ask him.

"We did," he tells me. "With thirty minutes to spare."

"How do you know that," I ask him.

"I just talked to their CPO," he tells me.

"CPO," I ask him, unsure of what that means.

"Close Protection Officer," he clarifies.

"That big burly guy I see picking them up with Mrs. Beachum when I'm out on the school yard sometimes," I ask him and he nods.

"Are people trying to hurt you," I ask him in concern.

"I get a few threats from nut jobs. It comes with being in the public eye whenever paparazzi feels I'm worth talking about. But mostly its protection against disgruntled business associates," he explains. "It gets cut throat sometimes and I have to make tough decision that a lot of people may not agree with."

"I can understand that," I tell him. "It's important to keep yourself safe."

He nods.

"Are you feeling unsafe in your apartment," he asks me suddenly. "Because I can help…"

"No," I tell him quickly. "No, not really, I'm okay. I have friends looking out for me."

"Ah, right, your neighbor," he says and I nod. "The one you are very close to."

I nod again.

"Jose," I tell him. "He's the best."

"So you trust him," he asks me.

"With everything," I tell him.

"Well that's good," he tells me. "I guess."

"We're just friends," I say quickly when I look at the expression on his face and realize how what I just said must sound to him. "He's not at all interested in me."

"He's a man," he tells me. "I doubt any man could look at you and not be interested."

"Trust me he isn't," I tell him.

"Okay, I trust you," he tells me.

"It's that easy," I tell him in envy.

"No, not at all," he tells me. "You just make it easy."

"I had a great time today, Christian" I tell him.

"Me too," he tells me.

"Thank you for the clean clothes," I tell him.

"Anytime," he tells me.

It's then do I realize he has my other clothes in his backpack.

"Pretty soon I'm going to have a full wardrobe at your place," I say laughing, until I realize what I said. "I mean…"

He leans over and kisses me, I'm sure to shut me up. The feel of his lips on mine is something I am getting much too attached to.

"Wee…We should…uh…"I try to get my brain to think or at the very least get my brain and mouth to work together after that kiss.

I want to tell him that the twins will be pulling in soon. What a mess it would be to have to explain this to Teddy and Phoebe.

"Right," he says saving me the trouble by figuring it out himself. He gets out of the car and pops the trunk.

I slide over to the driver's seat and wait for him to get his stuff.

He closes the trunk, comes back around, leans into the window, and gives me a peak on the lips.

"I'll call you later," he promises me.

"Okay," I tell him.

"Drive carefully," he chastises me. "Mind the speed limit."

"Yes, Daddy," I tease him.

"Damn right," he says and my mouth falls open in amused surprise at his comeback.

He smirks at my blush. I blow him a kiss goodbye as I pull away.

…

I breathe a sigh of relief when I make into my apartment without Jose noticing me. I go into my room to shower and change.

"It's about time," Jose says to me as he opens his door to let me in.

"Sorry," I tell him. "We feel asleep."

"You feel asleep," he repeats. "On a hiking trail?"

"Um," I start. "We kind of had a room at this lodge…."

"Get out of here," he tells me. "Ricky!"

"What," Derrick comes running out of the kitchen from where he's been preparing our dinner.

"Fell asleep in a room at a lodge," Jose tells him.

"Get the hell out," Derrick says to me.

"Nothing happened," I tell them as I sit at the dining room table. "We got wet."

"You got wet," Jose says.

"Oh my god, let her finish," Derrick tells him as he pours me a glass of red wine.

"He took me to this amazing waterfall and we fell in the water," I tell them.

I stop talking but they continue to stare at me.

"He got us a room and we….got dry," I continue. "He ordered hot chocolate and Biscotti. We fell asleep talking on the bed."

"Aww," Derrick says. "Now that's sweet. He seems sweet."

"He is," I say to them.

"Uh oh," Jose says to Derrick. "She has that dreamy look in her eyes. I think the bug has just bitten."

"What bug," I ask him.

"That pesky little love bug," Jose says. "He has latched on and is sucking you dry."

"No way," I wave him off. "There is no sucking being done on me…"

"Not yet," Jose says.

"Will you stop it," Derrick tells him. "Ana is a good girl."

"Yes she is," Jose agrees. "She's good, but she aint dead. Who amongst the living could resist that man?"

"Now that's true," Derrick agrees with him. "You know he is too damn good looking…"

"Hello," I say to them as they ignore me and talk to each other about Christian.

"Sorry," they say unison.

"So what is this happenstance going on with you two," Jose asks me.

I resist the urge to correct his misuse of the word happenstance.

"And stop with the 'just friends,' cause you and I have never lain down in bed together," he tells me. "Well, not sober."

"He does think you have the hots for me," I laugh.

"Josie," Derrick chastises Jose as he spits out his white wine and it projects out of his mouth on to the table.

"You did set him straight," Jose asks after he wipes his mouth and the table. "You told the man I was gay right?"

"No," I tell him. "I'm not telling your personal business."

"It's not like it's a secret, honey," he tells me and I laugh.

"True," I tell him. "I told him you had no interest in me though and that made him not so jealous."

 _Crap! Me and my big mouth._

"Jealous," they say the word together.

"I think he was a little jealous," I tell them.

"Mmm . mm. mm. mm," Jose says shaking his head dramatically with every mm. "Friends my ass."

"Well we do kiss a lot," I confess.

"KISS," they say in shock.

"Really," I scold them. "I'm not that much of a prude. I do kiss."

"When," Jose says.

"Now," I say defiantly.

"You go gurl," Derrick tells me.

"Does he know about your situation," Jose asks seriously and I shake my head no.

"He knows something is up," I tell them.

"Has he asked," Derrick asks me.

"He's asked, but he doesn't push," I tell them. "He's been very gentlemanly."

"Well that's good," Derrick says relieved. "Cause I can get real, real quick. I will kick his ass if you need me too."

"Whew, I love the smell of testosterone coming from you," Jose says to Derrick.

"Oh my God," I say cupping my forehead with my hand and shaking my head at this conversation.

"Hold on a second," Jose says. "Has he talked about the wife?"

I shake my head no.

"Not in detail, but he says they are divorcing," I tell them.

"See, that's a red flag," Derrick says, upset now.

"What red flag," Jose says. "The man doesn't want to talk about he old when he has the new."

"Yeah, but is he done with the old," Derrick says.

"Mmmmmm," Jose says in thought. "Yes, you're right. It's best to find that out now."

"What," I say to them. "Why. He and I are…"

"Just friends," they finish for me.

"Yes, girl," Jose tells me. "We know."

"What is that smell," I say and Jose crinkles his nose to the burning scent he now smells too.

"Oh Gawd, my pot- roast," Derrick yells running to the kitchen.

"You really think he still has a thing for his wife," I ask Jose after a beat.

I shake my head at the way that sounds when I say it out loud, even though I've thought it on more than one occasion.

"No," he tells me. "I don't think he would intentionally use you to get over his soon to be ex-wife." He emphasizes the last part for my benefit.

"But," I say to him.

"But," he says. "You are my best girlfriend and I don't want you getting hurt. So take it slow, that's all. Derrick is a pessimist, okay, don't let him ruin this for you."

"Maybe his wife's a bitch," I say hopeful.

"She doesn't look like a bitch," Derrick says from in the kitchen.

"Don't make me come in there, Ricky Vasquez," Jose threatens.

"You've seen her," I ask Jose.

"They are all over the internet," Derrick says.

"Now that's it," Jose says getting up to go in the kitchen.

"What? She needs to know," Derrick whispers too loudly to Jose.

"She also needs to know those pictures are years old," I hear Jose tell him.

"That doesn't mean he's not still boning his wife," Derrick tells him.

While they are arguing, I get up and go over to Jose's laptop to look up Christian and his wife.

I Google his name and catch my breath when I see his gorgeous gray eyes staring back at me.

"Christian Trevelyan-Grey," I whisper his full name.

Gluten for punishment, I click the images button and all I see is photo after photo of Christian and his wife, Jessica Trevelyan-Grey.

The one that shatters my heart and slaps me in the face is the one of him walking with her when she is clearly pregnant with Teddy and Phoebe.

"Ana," Jose says to me. "Do not listen to Derrick."

"I'm not," I tell him. "I am listening to myself. What the hell is wrong with me? He's married. They have kids together. Kids that I care about."

I stare at the screen again and Jose closes his laptop.

"So it's more than just friendship you're feeling for him," he asks me gently.

I nod my head in confession.

"I really like him," I say the truth out loud.

"But he likes you too," I shake my head no. "You know he does. You can't hold those pictures against him."

"Of course she can," Derrick comes into the room. "He's married and he's not telling her about it. I don't know why you want to sugar coat that, Josie."

"I am not sugar coating…" Jose starts.

"Yes you are," Derrick accuses him. "He's not divorced yet. There is no mention of divorce on any of those websites, so all we have is his word for that. Hell, for all we know they could be reconciling."

"Derrick," Jose says his name.

"No, do not 'Derrick' me," he tells him. "She needs to know the real deal before she gets in deeper than she already is."

"Oh for the love of God," Jose says, angry. "What did I say about finesse?"

"There is finesse in tricking her into an extra marital affair," Derrick points out.

"Okay, enough," I tell them both.

"Ana, I love like a sister and I will not let this billionaire playboy run all over your heart then go trotting back to his trophy wife when he's done," Derrick tells me apologetically.

"I know you want to protect me and I love you for it," I tell him, sadly. "But, Christian really isn't like that."

"Okay, no more of this," Jose says. "You'll talk to Christian and work everything out, right?"

"Right," I say to him and he scowls not believing me.

"Come on let's eat," Jose says, trying to move us along.

"I'm not hungry," I tell the two of them. "I just want to turn in early."

I give them both a kiss goodbye.

"You see what you did," Jose chastises Derrick as I leave. "Your ass is sleeping on the couch tonight."

I head home, change, and get into bed.

I look at my phone when I hear it ring to see that Christian is calling me.

I contemplate answering it, but the pictues of him and his wife flash in my mind making me think better about it.

Instead I ignore the call and turn off my phone. I pull the covers over my head and try to sleep as peacefully as I did with him earlier today. I can still remember how safe I felt with his arm wrapped around me.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you for reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing.**


	14. Moral Support

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

 **Moral Support**

 **Monday November 9, 2015**

 **Ana's POV**

I wake up to the sound of my alarm and it feels like I haven't slept a wink all night. I slam my hand on the off button resisting the urge to toss it to the floor. I want to pull the covers back over my head, but I know I'd sleep the day away and I can't leave my students hanging after I promised them we'd build our Biomes today.

I drag myself out of bed and head to the showers hoping the water will revive me.

Skipping breakfast, I get dressed, choosing the first thing my hands touch in my closet: a plumb colored dress with white circle prints, black leggings and a gray dress coat. I grab my bag, keys, and phone as I head out the door.

"Peace offering," Derrick says as I open my door just as he is about to knock. He is holding a tiny pink bakery box and a to-go cup of what smells like my favorite tea.

"No need to make peace," I tell him. "I know you are looking out for me and I love you for it."

"Okay," he breathes.

"But I'll still take this though," I take the box and the tea and give him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you.

Just as I round the corner, I hear Jose open up his door.

"Okay, you're forgiven," he tells Derrick and I laugh out of pity for him. I'm sure it wasn't a peaceful night listening to one of Jose's long winded rants.

I decide to eat the breakfast Derrick bought me at my desk since I don't trust taking my stuff to the employee lounge anymore.

I smile when I see he has gotten me my favorite cream cheese bagel with smoked salmon.

Just the smell of it makes my mouth water and I quickly eat the whole thing.

Now that I'm full, I move on with tackling the rest of my day, starting with Christian Grey.

I turn my cell phone and my iPad on contemplating the best way to communicate with him when they both start going crazy. I don't even have to look at it to know who it is, but the glutton that I am, I do.

I feel like shit when I see his email asking me if I'm okay. Along with the three missed calls and message he left.

….

 **Christian's POV**

"Good morning, Mr. Grey," Andrea greets me when I past reception.

"Andrea," I greet her. "Any messages?"

"Mr. Charles Ramsey called, actually," she says surprised at my oldest acquaintance. "He would like to have a meeting with you."

"When," I ask her.

"It was at your convenience so I scheduled it for ten o'clock," she tells me.

"Perfect, thank you," I tell her and go to my office wondering what Chuck has to say to me.

I know it has to do with Ana since they are apparently very close. He may trust me, but that doesn't mean he approves of me going after her. I'm sure he wants to chew me out for even daring to look at Ana.

I laugh sardonically at the thought. If I plan on pursuing her I better get use to selling myself, after all, I do have two army dads to contend with.

Just the thought of pursing her fills me with joy and despair at the same time because I haven't spoken to her since she drove off yesterday.

After the twins and I had our dinner, they spent the remainder of the night telling me all about the great weekend they had with their mother. They finally settled down in their beds around nine o'clock.

I was relieved that it went over so well. I know both Jess and I were both worried about them. It is such a big change for them having to split their time between us, but they are handling it okay. I think the fact that she and I are finally handling it okay has helped them a great deal.

Flynn advised us to just keep a steady routine and pretty soon it will be like second nature to them. Now we answer all of their questions openly and honestly to ease their fears.

I tried calling Ana three times after the twins went to sleep.

The last two went straight to voice mail. I emailed her right before I went to bed, but as I am checking now, I still have no response.

I keep running our time together over in my head trying to get a clue as to what possibly could have made her pull away from me and I come up empty. Now, I don't know if I should be worried about her or take this as a hint that she is through with me.

Maybe I read her wrong. Maybe she didn't have as good of a time as I did yesterday.

My phone interrupts my musing and I nearly curse out loud from relief when I see her name pop up.

"Ana," I answer her call.

"I'm sorry, I'm just now getting back to you," she tells me.

"What happened," I ask her.

"Christian," she says my name and I know it isn't good.

"Ana, wait," I try to ward her off. "I don't know what I did to upset you, but…"

"Christian, you didn't do anything," she tells me. "You are absolutely amazing."

"Then why are you pulling back," I ask her.

"I just feel that I need to," she tells me. "You have a lot going on in your life and I don't want to be a distraction to you."

"I get that," I tell her. "I'm not happy about it though."

"I knew you wouldn't be," she tells me. "I apologize for not answering you sooner. I needed to clear my head. I had a wonderful time with you. A little too wonderful, if I'm being honest with myself."

"So did I," I tell her.

"I'm glad," she breaths at me.

"Why is us having fun together a problem," I ask her.

"Because you are married," she tells me flat out. "And I can't keep skirting around that fact…"

"Ana," I begin.

"No," she interrupts. "What I am starting to feel for you isn't right under the circumstances. I have to protect myself from getting hurt. You make me feel…you make me feel things, Christian. I could so easily lose myself in you, and that's a risk I can't afford to take with you right now."

"Ana," I begin again.

"I need to set boundaries, Christian," she continues. "Please understand."

"I do," I tell her. "Ana, just give me time..."

"Christian, I have to go," she whispers low and fast. "My students are coming in."

"Ana, wait…" I call to her, but it's too late.

 _FUCK!_

...

"Mr. Grey, Mr. Ramsey is here to see you," Andrea buzzes into the intercom.

"Send him in," I tell her.

Well at least now I can stop pretending I am getting anything accomplished today. I've just sat on my ass for two damn hours trying to get my mind off of Ana with no success. I even had Anderson pretend to look in on the kids so he may cheek on her. He reports all seems well, that she looks a little tired, but other than that she's fine.

"Ah, Christian, my boy," Charles Ramsey says to me coming into my office, smiling slyly.

"Good to see you again, Chuck," I say walking over to shake his hand.

"Can I get you anything," I ask him as I lead him over to sit down near my desk.

"Oh, no, that lovely assistant of yours is already taking care of it," he tells me.

"Good," I tell him.

"I won't take up much of your time," he says. "I know how busy you are. These types of companies don't run themselves."

"I'm never too busy to talk to a friend," I assure him and he smiles.

"Well that is the nature of my visit," he says cutting right to it as he always does. "We have a friend in common."

"Is that right," I ask him.

"Ana Steele," he says to me. "She's my Charlotte's best friend."

"Yes, I've recently met Charlotte," I tell him. "She is a wonderful girl. You and Agnes should be proud."

"Yes, very proud," he beams. "She is the curator at the museum, you know?"

"She's doing a fabulous job," I tell him truthfully. "My kids had a great time there Halloween night."

"Speaking of kids," he says bringing the topic back around. "Ana is like a second daughter to us."

I nod.

"It has been brought to my attention that you and she are along the lines of becoming friends," he hints to me.

"Yes, I do consider her friend," I tell him.

He nods his approval.

"A friendship might be good for the both of you," he tells me.

"I don't understand," I tell him perplexed by his approval. I thought for sure he was here to cut my balls off and feed them to me.

"She needs to be brought out of her shell a bit," he explains. "And you need to start living again. Maybe you could be each other's…..lever. You know moral support and all that."

"Chuck," I say to him. "What exactly are you saying?"

"You took a hard blow, Christian," he continues softly. "A weaker man would have caved, but you persevered. You should be proud of yourself for finding that strength, but you are a changed man."

"I can't argue with that," I tell him, sadly.

"I've seen you at all those benefit functions that your mom throws. You are just going through the motions of living," he tells me. "You've lost your spark, your zing for life."

I simply nod in agreement.

"Ana is a good girl," he tells me, "who was dealt a rotten hand in her life as well. It has made her much too weary of the world, much too afraid and it's a shame, because she has a lot to offer. Both of you seem to have what the other is missing. Ana is full of life but is afraid to live, you on other hand, have the courage of a lion, but no reason to live more than you have to and even that is only for those beautiful twins of yours. How are they and Jessica doing by the way?"

Andrea comes in with coffee and donuts.

"Ah, thank you, my dear," Chuck tells her.

"You are very welcome, Mr. Ramsey," she tells him before turning to me. "Mr. Grey, will there be anything else?"

"No Andrea, thank you," I tell her. She nods and leaves us to finish our conversation.

Chuck picks up a glazed donut and eats it, moaning dramatically.

"The wife won't let me eat these things anymore," he explains. "One little heart scare and she has me on tofu and lettuce."

I laugh.

"Listen to her," I tell him. "We want to keep you around for a long time."

He laughs.

"The twins are a joy and Jess is doing okay," I tell him.

"Good to hear it," he tells me.

"I must admit, I'm surprised," I confess to him. "I thought you were here to discourage my friendship with Ana."

"I've known you for many a years, Christian," he tells me. "You are a fine young man and I know that you wouldn't do anything to….deflower an innocent young girl like our Ana without full intentions of making her an honest woman."

 _Deflower! Well fuck the shit out of me! My baby is a virgin._

"Nnn...no, of...of course not," I say to him, stumbling over my words and the weight of his.

"Good," he says, seeming satisfied that I have caught his meaning. "As long as it remains a friendship until the divorce is finalized, I am all for it. I trusted you with one of my babies, surely I can trust you with another. You and Jessica are in the process of divorcing are you not?"

"We are. And absolutely you can trust me," I assure him. "I want only the best for Ana."

"Well, we have an understanding then," he tells me. "You won't hear any more from me about it. Just don't piss me off. You don't want to find yourself on the business end of me. I may be old, but I can still whoop your ass on Ana's behalf."

"Yes, Sir," I tell him seriously.

He gets up, grabs another donut for the road and heads out.

"Give Agnes my best," I call after him and he waves his hand to acknowledge me without turning around.

Instead of getting some much needed work done, I sit alone again, contemplating the new piece of the Anastasia Steele puzzle that I am trying hard to put together.

I would have never guessed that piece.

I knew she was inexperienced. I thought only a blessed few had ever touched her, but I never would have concluded that no one ever has.

It doesn't make sense to me. She is beautiful. I thought surely some little pimply faced limp dicked bastard had captured her heart before and was foolish enough to let her go.

Ecstatically, that is not the case and the fact that no other man has ever had her, makes me want her even more.

 _You are a real piece of work Grey!_

…

 **Ana's POV**

"Don't hate me," Charlotte's says when I open my front door.

"What did you do," I ask her.

"Dad, talked to Christian today," she tells me.

"Charlotte Ramsey," I scold her. "I told you to be covert when you asked him about Christian."

"I swear I was," she tells me. "But he can see right through me. He has xray vision."

"Why now," I ask her. She talked to her dad about him over a week ago.

"I uh..." she starts.

"You uh what," I ask her.

"I kinda told him about you and the hiking trip," she says and then dodges for cover.

"Why," I ask her.

"He wanted you to come golfing with us," she tells me. "I had to tell him. He knows when I'm lying."

"Oh for crying out loud," I tell her, when will I learn to keep my big mouth shut.

"Don't worry," she tells me. "I told you he loves the guy. He's even happier about him now. So, no harm no foul."

I nod, letting it go. I'll have to email Christian an apology for it later.

You look great, by the way," I tell her.

She is in black leather pants and a pink multi-printed tank top.

"You look hot," she tells me as she cheeks out my ass in my black leather pants. She laughs when I pull my long silver shirt down in the back to cover it.

"We are going to have a terrific time, you'll see," she promises me.

Charlotte is excited about her new boyfriend and she wants us all to meet him tonight.

"What's the name of this club you are dragging me out to, anyway," I ask her.

"The Mile High Club," she tells me. "He's a bouncer there."

"Oh man," I laugh. "How the heck do you meet these guys?"

She shrugs innocently.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

"I really don't feel like going out, Elliot," I tell my brother. I know his wife has put him up to dragging me out to the Mile High tonight. That woman is hell bent on getting me out to socialize come hell or high water.

"I know bro," Elliot sympathizes with me. "Do it for me will you? If not, I'm stuck listening to Kate and Mia's cackling all night. I need reinforcements."

"I don't want to leave the twins," I tell them. "They just got back yesterday."

"Yeah and since Mom and Dad didn't see them all weekend, they are already on their way over there to hang out with them," he tells me. "Dad's got a bag full of stuff for them and Mom's trying out a new recipe she wants them to help her with. Now if you want to sit around with that shit…"

"Fine," I tell him, convinced. "I'll meet you guys there."

I let Taylor know my parents are on their way and to let them up while go shower and change.

I inform Gail that I am going out tonight and my mom will be cooking dinner with the kids.

"I don't know how long my parents are going to stay for, Gail," I explain to her. " But I'll call Mrs. Beachum and have her drop by to watch the twins just in case."

"Oh no, it's no bother," she tells me. "I don't mind looking after them if your parents want to leave."

"I shouldn't be long," I tell her.

"Take your time," she tells me. "They'll be fine with all of us."

I nod.

"Grandma, Grandpa," I hear the kids yell out in excitement from my place in the kitchen.

I come out to find them sitting on the couch with Dad, examining the contents of the big goodie bag he has brought over.

"Mom, Dad, how are you," I tell them kissing mom on the cheek.

"We were just missing our favorite grandkids," Dad says to me.

"How are you, dear," mom asks me. "You look fancy this evening."

I am dressed in black shirt, black pants, and black leather jacket.

"Well, you know what guys," I get the twins attention. "I am actually going out for the evening."

"Where you going," Teddy asks me.

"Uncle Elliot, Auntie Kate, and Auntie Mia ask me to hang out with them for a while," I tell them. "But I can stay if want…"

"That's okay, Daddy," Phoebe says, uninterested, as she continues to dig in the bag.

I smirk at my mom as she tries to hide her laugh. This can't possibly be the child that clung to me all of a week ago.

I give them both a hug and a kiss even though I get resistance from Teddy who actually dodges the kiss. I make them promise to behave themselves.

Mom and Dad decide to stay and sleep in the guest room tonight. Knowing Elliot as they do, there is a strong possibility that he will have me in some form of inebriation before I get home, so they will look after the twins.

…

I by pass the line waiting to get in the club and walk right in the front door.

"Have a good night, Mr. Grey," Carlos, the doorman says to me as I stroll on past him.

I spot Mia on the dance floor right away. I cringe at her outfit. It is a black leather mini dress that leaves little to the imagination. I spot Elliot dancing with Kate and the way he keeps throwing daggers at Mia, I can tell he shares my sentiment about her attire.

Elliot points to our table. I sit down and he and Kate come over to join me.

"Hey you made it bro," Elliot says to me.

"I sure as hell wasn't about to stay home with all that was about to go down with the parents and the twins," I tell Elliot.

"Are my little stinkers okay," Kate asks.

"They practically threw me out the damn door," I tell her and she laughs.

Mia comes over with a bottle of tequila and shot glasses.

"Thanks little sis," Elliot tells her as he fills the glasses and we all take a shot.

"Who was that loser you were dancing with," I ask her.

"Beats me," she says and I laugh.

I scan the crowd and my eyes land on a blonde hanging all over one of my bouncers. I frown at the fraternizing. I'm about to get pissed when I realize it's Charlotte.

I let that fly on pass when it dawns on me that if she's here, there is a good chance that Ana is here too.

I quickly scan the room, going from table to table until I spot her on the dance floor.

The lights seem to love her as they are now beaming down on her like a spotlight.

I have to catch my breath at the sight of her.

She is dressed in tight black pants that are just begging to be peeled off of her. Thank fuck she is wearing a lose fitting long blouse that covers her ass otherwise I wouldn't be able to contain myself right now.

I smile when I see her doing the dance that I taught her on Halloween.

I make my mind up to join her when I notice she is not alone.

She is dancing with some fucker and he has his hands all over her. From that mile wide grin on her face, I can tell she is enjoying herself and not minding **his** touch at all.

 _Fuck have I lost her already? Or has she been playing me this whole damn time?_

"Dude, what's wrong with you," Elliot says, concerned. He can't help but notice the fact that I am fuming with barely checked anger as I watch that fucker she's with touch her ass. "You look like you are about ready to explode."

"Ana," I spit out and their heads all swing in the direction I am looking in.

"FFuucckk," is all Elliot says when he sees what I see.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **The bad news is it is a cliff hanger.**

 **The good news is I am almost done with the next chapter.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	15. Boundaries

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fifteen**

 **Boundaries**

 **Christian's POV**

I have to catch my breath at the sight of her.

She is dressed in tight black pants that are just begging to be peeled off of her. Thank fuck she is wearing a lose fitting long blouse that covers her ass otherwise I wouldn't be able to contain myself right now.

I smile when I see her doing the dance that I taught her on Halloween.

I make my mind up to join her when I notice she is not alone.

She is dancing with some fucker and he has his hands all over her. From that mile wide grin on her face, I can tell she is enjoying herself and not minding **his** touch at all.

 _Fuck have I lost her already? Or has she been playing me this whole damn time?_

"Dude, what's wrong with you," Elliot says, concerned. He can't help but notice the fact that I am fuming with barely checked anger as I watch that fucker she's with touch her ass. "You look like you are about ready to explode."

"Ana," I spit out and their heads all swing in the direction I am looking in.

"FFuucckk," is all Elliot says when he sees what I see.

 **...**

"Alright, first of all, calm the fuck down, Christian," Elliot warns me against my temper.

He gives me another Tequila shot and I down it. I am so pissed, I barely feel the burn of the liquor as it goes down my throat.

"Now think a minute before you make a complete ass of yourself," he tells me. "They are just dancing."

"El's right," Kate chimes in. "Don't jump to conclusions on this and blow up. It's just a dance."

"Right," Mia agrees even though she has no clue which girl is Ana or what the hell she's doing right now. "It's a club. Everyone is dancing the same. Maybe she's just trying to fit in."

Mia is actually making sense. As I look around, everyone is dancing the same.

But I still don't fucking like this fucker putting his hands on her ass while doing **our** dance.

 _They are just too fucking friendly._

"Son of a bitch, it's the neighbor," I say to myself out loud.

 _That fucker! I knew he wanted her! Not interested at all in her_ _my ass_ _!_

I jump up from the table and make a beeline to Ana and that fucking neighbor of hers.

"Christian WAIT," Kate, Mia, and Elliot all yell after my retreating back.

I lose sight of Ana and by the time I weave my way through the crowded dance floor she is no longer where she once stood. I quickly look around and spot her heading toward the bathrooms alone and I follow behind her.

"Ana," I say her name before she gets in line.

She whips her body around in response to my voice.

"Christian," she says in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here," I bite back. "What the hell are you doing here dancing with that guy and who the FUCK is he?"

"Christian," she says to me, taken aback by my sudden flare in temper.

I take a minute to rein it in before I push her even farther away.

"I'm here with Mia, Kate, and Elliot," I answer her a bit more calmly.

She moves aside and allows two girls to get in the bathroom line ahead of her.

"Come with me. There's another bathroom," I tell her.

I hold out my hand to her. She hesitates for a moment to gauge my mood. After a moment, she grabs hold, seemingly satisfied that I'm not going to jump down her throat again.

She walks with me upstairs and waits for me to unlock the door to my office.

"My office," I tell her when she doesn't go in.

"Your office," she says.

"I own the club," I tell her.

"I don't know why I'm surprised," she giggles and walks in.

I point her to my bathroom and she disappears inside.

I take a minute to regroup and calm down.

The last thing I want to do is put a bigger wedge between us by being angry with her for simply dancing with another man, no matter how fucking comfortable she was with him and not with me.

"Thanks" she says coming back out.

"Ana" I say her name at the same time she says mine.

"You go first," I tell her.

"I just wanted to apologize for Mr. Ramsey ambushing you earlier," she says. "I didn't know he was going to bother you. I would have stopped him."

"It's was no bother Ana," I tell her. "We had a very enlightening talk, actually."

"Good," she says nodding her head, pleased. "That's good."

"You seemed to be having fun on the dance floor," I tell her. I still can't let it go.

"Yeah, I guess," she says. "I really didn't know what I was doing but the dance you taught me helped."

"And the boy you were dancing with," I ask her.

"José," she says. "We're just hanging out, if you and your family want to join us."

"Your neighbor friend," I ask her, "the friend that you trust with everything? Like you and me friend?"

"Yes, the friend I trust with everything and no," she says. "Not like you and me. You are much more than a friend to me Christian and that's the problem. I care about you and I care about Teddy and phoebe and I can't…we can't do this thing we are doing."

She gestures her hand back and forth between the two of us.

"Ana, listen to me," I begin. "It doesn't have to be a problem. You know that I'm divorcing Jess…."

"Christian are you in here," Elliot comes into the office frantic to find me.

"Oops," he says when he sees us talking. "Sorry..."

"No, its fine," Ana says stopping him from leaving. "I need to get back to my friends anyway."

"We aren't done, Ana," I tell her.

"I think we are, Christian," she tells me.

My heart drops right out of my chest at her meaning.

She quickly walks past Elliot and out the door.

"Christian, you need to go after her," Elliot says and I shake my head no.

"You heard her, we're done," I tell him. "She can't get past Jess."

"Yeah I heard her, but you didn't see her crying when she turned away from you," he says.

"Nice try El," I tell him.

"I'm fucking serious, Christian," he tells me. "Go after her or you are going to regret it."

"You don't understand, El," I start. "She's never going to accept my fucked up life. I've never wanted anything as much as I want her and I can't have her."

"Bullshit," he tells me. "Now wrap up this one man pity party and get after her."

"What the hell did you do to my friend, Grey," Kate comes in mad and accusing me. "She's crying."

"Shit," I say, believing Kate, as I go after Ana.

"Go get your girl, Bro," Elliot yells after me.

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Ana, what happened," Jose and Derrick say to me as I rush back to our table. They can see that I've been crying.

"Christian's here," I tell them grabbing my jacket. "I just need to get out of here."

I rush through the club, out the door, and into the street. Jose is right behind me.

"Ana, we are coming with you," he says to me. "Derrick just went to tell Charlotte we're leaving."

"You guys don't have to leave," I tell him.

"Honey, you're upset," he says. "We are not going to let you go off by yourself. Now, what did he do?"

"Nothing," I tell him. "He was great as always. Great and married, as always."

"Oh Ana," Jose tells me. "Todo va estar bein, everything will be okay, I promise."

"I don't feel okay," I cry, pouting like a spoiled child who's being denied her favorite toy. "I feel pretty much not okay."

"Come here. I hate seeing you like this," he tells me. He pulls me into a hug and rubs his hand gently up and down my back while I cry.

"Okay, enough of this now, listen to me," he pulls back to look at me so that he is sure I am listening. "It will all work out. Just give it a little time. Let the man get his shit together and figure it out, okay?"

I nod okay.

He wipes my tears with his hands and smiles his stupid toothy smile at me.

I roll my eyes in amusement, making him laugh.

"Now there is the Ana I know and love," he tells me.

"Give me some sugar. Muwah," he says giving me a peak on the lips.

The next thing I see is a big blur of black coming in-between Jose and I.

"Get your Goddamn hands off of her," Christian yells, pushing Jose in the chest so he goes flying backward away from me.

"Christian STOP," I tell him, holding on tight to his arm.

"What the fuck," Derrick comes out of nowhere, pushing Christian back away from Jose.

Derrick is ready to fight until he realizes it's Christian. He sees me trying to hold him back and he backs down.

"Keep your hands off my man," Derrick warns him.

"YOUR WHAT," Christian says to Derrick.

In the corner of my eye I see Taylor ready to intervene if things escalate and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing at this point.

"You heard me," Derrick says taking Jose in his arms.

"You alright, baby," Derrick ask Jose.

"Mhm," Jose says now put out with Christian.

Taylor disappears as suddenly as he came.

"Jose is GAY," Christian says to me astonished.

"Oh hewll no," Derrick says, pissed off at Christian and not liking the way he said the word gay.

Jose gets between Derrick and Christian trying to calm Derrick down again.

Christian is looking at the two of them like they've just beamed down from another planet as he tries to wrap his mind around the new information.

"What in the hell," Elliot says as he and Kate come up to join us.

It takes him only a minute to figure out the scene and he breaks out laughing.

"Aint no joke here," Jose says to Elliot. "Aint NO joke here."

"You're right, I'm sorry," Elliot says to him. "I'm sorry, it's just my brother here has a knack for getting shit all wrong and flying off the handle."

He pats Christian on the back, willing him to calm down.

"Well you got that right," Jose says crossing his arms in anger.

I cringe. I think Christian has just lost his biggest supporter.

"Please come back inside," Elliot says to both of them. "The rest of your drinks are on Christian."

"Well…..okay," Jose says, letting it go. "You've talked me into it."

"Baby, take them to our table," Elliot says to Kate.

"Oh, nuh uh," Derrick says un-swayed. "I'm not having drinks with him."

He flutters his hand in Christian's direction.

"I was just leaving," Christian says to him and walks away.

"Christian wait," I catch up to him before he makes it to his car a few feet away. Taylor is there now holding the door open for him.

"Christian," I say and he turns to face me.

"I apologize for ruining your night," he tells me, much too formally.

"You didn't," I tell him. "It was just a misunderstanding."

"Go back and enjoy your friends, Ana. Elliot," he motions to him to take care of me before he walks away.

"Let him go, Ana," Elliot tells me. "He just needs to cool off."

"Maybe I should go after him," I tell him and he shakes his head no.

"He'll come and find you when he's calmed down and thinking right," he assures me. "Let's just do what he asks and go inside."

I nod reluctantly and we go inside.

We find everyone sitting together.

Kate introduces Derrick and Jose to Elliot and the three of us to Mia.

I like her right away. She is very bubbly, and talkative.

I sit between Kate and Jose and the two of them have really hit it off.

He tells her he's a photographer and has his own art studio downtown. She lets him know she is interested in getting a couple of pieces to brighten up her home. They make a date for her to stop by and check out what he has and he is very excited.

Charlotte finally resurfaces from where ever she was with her new boyfriend and they both come and join us at the table.

"When did all this happen," she says to us when we fill her in on our night. "And where the hell was I?"

"Well I did try to find you," Derrick tells her.

"Why do I always miss everything," she says taking a shot of tequila.

"You don't want me to answer that, honey," Jose says to her and Derrick laughs.

"Hater," Charlotte says to Jose, throwing her lime at him and hitting him in the chest with it.

….

I help Derrick carry a passed out drunken Jose to bed before I enter my apartment.

I kick off the black, high heeled ankle boots that have been pinching my feet all night and contemplate calling Christian, but I don't think he'd want to hear from me right now.

I am about to go into my bedroom when I hear a knock on my door.

I look to see who it is, thinking it's probably Derrick, but I am surprised to see Christian standing there.

I quickly open the door.

"Hi," I say to him.

"Hi," he says back to me.

I'm about to apologize for the misunderstanding tonight but he cuts me off before I have the chance.

"Please just hear me out, Ana," he tells me. "Then, I promise, I'll go away. I'll respect your wishes and I won't bother you anymore."

"Christian, you're not bothering me," I clarify. "And I don't want you to go away. I just want us to have clearer lines. Will you please, come in."

I move aside to give him room to walk past me.

"Do you want anything," I ask him as he looks around my living room.

"No," he says. "Yes…. I want you listen to me."

"Okay," I say to him.

I sit on one of the two bar stools at the kitchen island and he leans his back on the far wall just inside the room.

"I'm sorry about tonight," he tells me. "I was a complete bastard."

I want to speak but I keep my promise to just listen.

"You told me José was just a friend and I should have trusted that," he tells me. "Just watching him touch you the way he was allowed to and you being so open to it with him. I let my jealousy get the better of me. It never dawned on me that the reason you were so at ease with him was because he was gay, and with a boyfriend no less."

I bite my lip to stop from talking.

"Please don't do that," he asks me.

"Sorry," I say releasing it.

"Don't be," he tells me. "It's just that, I want to bite it too."

"Christian…" I start.

"Back to listening, Ana," he demands and I stop talking.

"Jess and I have been separated for over six months now," he tells me. "It was over long before I met you. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have even looked twice in your direction. I would have noticed you, don't get me wrong I'm human, but that would have been as far as it went. I need you to believe me. I need you to believe that I wouldn't cheat on my wife, or anyone I'm committed to."

I quickly nod my head.

"I never thought that you would," I tell him. "I believed you when you told me you were separated from your wife."

"Then why did you pull away," he ask me.

"I saw pictures of you on the internet," I explain to him. "You all look like such a happy family. I don't want to be a factor in your relationship with your wife, if there is a slim chance of you two working things out. Being a person who wreaks havoc on people's lives is not who I want to be. I care about you and your kids and I would never be able to live with myself if I did that."

"You didn't come in and break up a happy home, Ana," he tells me. "I wasn't happily married when we met and now we are in some illicit affair, trying to figure out if I should leave my wife and kids for you. I filed for divorce..."

"You filed," I interrupt him and he nods before he continues.

"For many reason," he tells me. "But the most important one being that I didn't love her the way I should have. I married her when I was nineteen years old because she was pregnant with the twins and I knew it was the right thing to do. I cared about Jess. I still care about Jess as the mother of my kids, but it was never more than that."

"But seven years is a long time to be with someone you don't love," I tell him.

"I loved Jess, but I wasn't in love with her the way a man is supposed to be with his wife," he tells me. "Still, I wasn't unhappy in my marriage. I've known Jess since we were kids. We were friends. I was very comfortable with her. We were happy for most of it, but we….grew apart. Things happened that we couldn't deal with together and they tore us apart, irrevocably."

"I'm sorry about whatever it was that happened, Christian," I tell him.

"Me too," he tells me, sadly. "But that chapter of my life is over and I am ready to move on."

"But it's only been six months…" I start to argue.

"We've been separated for six months, but the marriage was over long before we actually admitted it to ourselves," he says to me.

"I…I see," I tell him. "Thank you for telling me that."

"Thank you for letting me," he tells me. "I'm sorry I was short with you earlier."

I shrug.

"Well looking at it through your eyes, I could understand it," I tell him. "I mean, I'm lying practically naked in bed with you yesterday and tonight I'm grinding with some guy on the dance floor. In your club, I might add. I would be jealous too if...I….saw you…."

I clear my throat, not even bothering to finish that statement because of the satisfied smirk on his face at my admission.

"Still, I had no right to accuse you," he tells me. "I have no claim over you, Ana. As much as I'd like to have one, I know that I don't."

"I wish you wouldn't say things like that to me," I tell him. "It doesn't help at all to hear it."

"DAMNIT, ANA," he yells and me in angry frustration. "Will you fucking give me something to work with here?"

"What! What do you want from me," I ask him.

"I DON'T KNOW, something….anything to let me know that I'm not alone in this," he tells me. "Tell me that you are at least feeling half of what I'm feeling."

"How can I tell you," I ask him. "I don't even know what you're feeling."

He flounders for a word.

"Alive," he finds it. "Ever since I saw your ass sashaying in front of me that first night, I have felt alive."

I frown in thought, trying to figure out when was it exactly that I sashayed in front of him to make him feel that way.

"I get that you don't feel that strongly about me," he says, defeated and mistaking my frown of confusion for displeasure.

"I've said my piece, Ana," he tells me. "I won't bother you anymore."

I watch him turn and head for the door.

 _Say something you idiot!_

"How could you possibly think I don't feel that way," I ask him.

He turns around quickly to face me.

"I've told you over and over again how I feel," I tell him. "I've told you, you make me feel things."

"What things," he asks me.

"Christian, you make me feel…"

I stop to think better about it.

"No, don't do that," he stops me from over thinking. "What do I make you feel?"

"Safe," I admit to him.

"I make you feel safe," he whispers and I nod.

"No one has ever made me feel safe before," I confess. "Except my dads, but that's different."

"Different how," he asks me.

"Jesus," I say covering my face with the palms of my hands. "You want your pound of flesh, don't you Christian?"

"Yes, I do," he tells me.

"How is this conversation helping anything," I ask him. "It is doing nothing but pulling us in the opposite direction that we should be going in."

"What direction is that," he asks me.

"We are supposed to be taking a step back," I tell him. "I'm supposed to be setting boundaries…"

"And is that working," he asks me.

"You are not letting it work," I bark at him.

"Me," he says. "I was the one about to walk out the door and never talk to you again."

"It's really that easy for you," I ask him, devastated.

"No, Baby, no," he assures me. "Honestly, I wouldn't have made it to the end of the hall, before I begged you to take me back."

"You really would have begged me," I ask him skeptically.

"Oh, Miss Anastasia Steele," he says to me. "There is no limit to what I'd do for you."

"Is this the stalker in you talking," I ask him, jokingly.

He pretends to think.

"No," he finally says. "This is the, you matter that much to me, in me talking."

"You matter very much to me too," I tell him. "I...I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

I say the last part to try and diffuse the sudden electrical current that now crackles in the air between us but it has the opposite effect.

Christian stalks up to me with such intensity I nearly lose my breath when I realize his intention.

He takes my face in his hands and I moan as his lips press into mine.

I feel his smile when I grab onto his arms in an effort to pull him closer.

"Mmmmm," he moans as he slips his tongue in my mouth to deepen our kiss.

He tastes of old tequila and freshly chewed peppermint.

"Christian," his name escapes my lips before I can prevent it.

"I think we are far beyond starting a friendship," he breathes as his forehead rests on mine. "Don't you?"

He inhales sharply when I turn my face into his hand and press my lips into his warm semi-rough palm.

"Ana, there is something that I have to tell you, before we go any farther," he says to me. His hands purposely move from my face to my neck to sweep my hair back off of my shoulders.

He rests his hands on top of mine in my lap.

"I can't enter into a relationship with you until my divorce is finalized," he tells me what I already worked out on my own.

"I figured," I tell him.

"Not that you would go for that anyway," he laughs.

I shake my head no.

"You deserve to be with a man that's not tied down to someone else," he continues. "I wish with everything that I am, that I was that man right now, but I'm not. I have to finish what I started with Jess. Ana, I…"

"It's okay Christian, I understand," I tell him when he has trouble finding words.

"I don't want to lose you," he confesses. "But I can't give myself to you completely yet."

"I know you belong to Jess," I tell him.

"No, that's not it," he tells me quickly. "There is no one else I want to be with, but you. But I took vows and I have to honor them. I can't ask you to be mine, yet. I'm just asking for time. Will you give me time to get clear?"

"Yes," I tell him. "But until then, I still need us to have…"

"Boundaries," he remembers and I nod.

"So, no more kissing," he says disappointed.

"Well let's not torture ourselves," I tell him and he laughs.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Don't forget to check out the pinterest page under daretoloveagain.**

 **Just a warning, I pin while I'm writing so the page may contain some spoilers, but not always.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	16. Don't

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Sixteen**

 **Don't**

 **Christian POV**

"Are you tired," I ask Ana as we sit cuddled on her couch. She has her head on my shoulder while my forearm is draped over her thighs. I am making small circles on the slick surface of her black leather pants.

I don't want to keep her up too late when I know she has work in the morning, but I love being this close to her. I turn my head and bury my nose in her hair. It smells of clean air and wild berries.

"A little," she says. "But I hate to get up. I am very comfortable with you here right now."

"I know the feeling," I tell her. "I never thought I'd be close to you like this."

"Without me jumping out of my skin you mean," she laughs.

"I can understand the reaction better than anyone," I tell her.

"You," she says.

"I hated being touched when I was a kid," I tell her. "Life wasn't easy for me before my parents adopted me. It took me a while to get over it. I still struggle with it sometimes."

She sits up and looks at me.

"Thank you, Christian," she tells me.

"For what," I say to her.

"For," she stops to thinks, "alot."

"You're welcome a lot," I tell her. "Now come on. I'll put you to bed and stay until you fall asleep."

"Okay," she says.

She leads me to her bedroom.

It is decorated with light beiges and cotton whites with a queen sized bed that is just beckoning me to get in under the covers.

"I'll be right back," she says as she grabs what I am assuming is something to sleep in out of her drawer.

She comes back out in what I'm sure are the ugliest pair of pajamas I have ever seen in my life and they cover every inch of her.

They are flannel with different types of over sized multi colored cupcakes all over them. I'm sure it was a strategic move on her part to make this little thing we're doing less sexually charged, but fuck me it backfired.

I would gladly eat every cupcake off of those damn ugly pajamas if it meant having her at the end.

 _SHIT!_

She walks over and stands in front of me. I try to will my body not to react to her as she reaches up and slides off my leather jacket. She drapes it over the back of a chair behind her.

I toe off my shoes and reach up behind my back to remove my shirt.

I hear her catch her breath and I curse at myself for possibly scaring her until I see her checking me out. She has that plump bottom lip captured between her teeth.

I return to my place in front of her and allow her eyes to roam over my chest.

I know the moment she sees them. Her eyebrows furrow, trying to figure out what they are.

"Burns," I whisper to her and she gasps, "from cigarettes."

Her eyes snap up to look into mine and I can see the heartbreak in them.

"It happened a long time ago, Baby," I assure her. "I'm better now."

I smile when her baby blues widen and that lip goes back between her teeth at my term of endearment for her.

Her eyes drift down to my chest again to inspect my scars.

Her hand comes up to touch one.

"Don't," I tell her, grabbing hold of her wrist to stop her before she touches me.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"You can't touch me like that," I tell her.

"I would never hurt you," she explains.

I shake my head negatively.

"I know you wouldn't," I tell her.

"Then why," she says.

"You touching me like that," I pant out. "Ana, I wouldn't be able to…"

"Mmmmmm," she moans, as I kiss her to convey that her touch would make the thin thread of control I'm hanging by snap and I would carry her to her bed and make love to her. Boundaries and marriage vows be damned.

"I see," she pants out. Her eyes still closed from our kiss."Um…this wasn't the best idea was it?"

She opens her eyes to look at me as I shake my head no and kiss her on her forehead.

"I'd better go," I tell her and she nods.

I put my shoes and shirt back on and she walks me to the door.

"When can I see you again," I ask her.

"Wednesday," she says. "Parent/ teacher conference."

"Right," I laugh. "I never did email you I was coming."

"No and it's quite rude," she tells me.

"I do apologize for my rudenes, ," I tell her.

She laughs until the fact that we are meeting to discuss the kids dawns on her. I watch as her face falls.

"She's not coming to the meeting, Ana," I tell her.

"But she will," she tells me. "Of course she's going to want to meet with her kid's teacher."

"Stop it," I tell her when I see the wheels spinning in her head.

"My God, Christian," she begins. "What if she finds out and complains. I could be fired. I'm sure there's some policy about fraternizing with your student's parent. I can't lose my job…"

I kiss her to calm her down.

"Do you trust me," I ask her.

I am relieved to see her quickly nod her head yes.

"First of all, we are not some dirty little secret. And secondly, you won't get fired," I tell her. "I promise. Now you let me worry about Jess. I just need you to not pull away from me again. Can you not do that? Or, can you talk to me about your concerns first?"

"I promise, I won't without talking to you first," she tells me.

"Thank you," I breathe. "Now lock your door."

"Let me know you've made it home," she asks me and I nod, kissing her goodnight again.

….

 **Ana's POV**

I lock my door, set the alarm, and head to bed.

I smile when I see that Christian has left his leather jacket on the chair. I pick it up, hold it to my nose, and inhale his scent.

 _My God, he smells so good._

I place the jacket back in the chair and climb into bed, amazed at how what I thought was going to be a miserable night, turned into one of the best nights I've ever had.

I replay it over and over again in my head lingering on the part where he took his shirt off.

I can't believe how seeing Christian's bare chest affected me. Never have I wanted a man so much. Never have I wanted a man at all, but I so wanted him.

I frown when I think of his burns. What kind of a monster would burn someone with cigarettes?

The thought makes me go back to places I am adamantly trying to avoid.

I try to shut down, but my mind is racing a mile a minute and I am unable to sleep.

I grab my cell phone to text.

 **Me:** Are you sleeping?

 **Brandon:** no, what's up?

 **Me:** Can I see you tomorrow?

 **Brandon:** Is something wrong?

 **Me** : Not really. I just need your ear.

 **Brandon:** Okay. I'll bring lunch to you.

 **Me:** Great. See you then.

 **Brandon:** Sleep. You'll feel better.

 **Me:** Okay. Goodnight.

 **Brandon:** Goodnight.

…..

 **Christian POV**

"I'll lock the elevator Sir," Taylor tells me.

"Thank you, Taylor, goodnight," I tell him and he nods.

I go and check on the twins.

I pick Phoebe's teddy bear off of her floor and tuck him back under the covers with her before I kiss her forehead.

I clear Teddy's bed of the hot wheels he must have been playing with before he drifted off to sleep. I cover him up and get the kiss from him he dodged me out of earlier.

I think better about checking on mom and dad and head to my room.

I get a quick shower and hop into bed to text Ana.

 **Me:** Made it home safe and sound.

 **Ana:** That's good, now I can sleep peacefully.

 **Me:** Sweet dreams, baby.

 **Ana:** Sweet dreams :)

…..

 **Ana's POV**

I wake up early and make a run to get Jose's favorite maple cinnamon donuts and espresso.

"Hey, honey," Jose says somberly as he opens the door. "Is that for us?"

I nod.

"You are an angel," he tells me as we walk to the dining table and sit down.

"Where's Derrick," I ask him.

"In the shower," he says.

"Ana, be a sweetheart and remind me of this feeling if my dumb ass ever decides to get wasted again on a work night," he tells me.

He pops two Advil and chases it down with his espresso.

"Ohhh that's so good," he says taking another sip.

I snicker at him.

"Can you believe our men last night," he ask me and I shake my head. "I think we are involved with two of the most possessive men alive and I love it."

"You're not mad," I ask him and he shakes his head no.

"I was, but after about the fifth drink I got over it," he says. "The man doesn't want anyone touching what he has so chivalrously claimed."

"If I here you call him 'The Man' one more time, I am going to ring your neck," Derrick says coming to the table to join us.

"Oh give me a break, will you," he scolds Derrick. "It's not every day I get to see love blooming right before my eyes.

I blush when I look at Derrick.

"Oh my God, will you put some clothes on," I screech at him, covering my eyes.

He has nothing but a large white towel wrapped around his waist from just getting out of the shower. He is chiseled from working out way too much and his normally black curly hair is wet and plastered to his scalp.

"You are so squeamish," he says as he grabs a donut and goes to get dressed.

"He _was_ defending it hella strong," Derrick yells from the bedroom. "Somebody has cheated on his ass before, guarantee you that."

"Why would you say that," I ask him.

"Well it's either that or he is super nutso possessive," he says coming back out with a t shirt and sweat pants on. "And if it's the latter, you need to run, girlfriend."

"He was a little Cray Cray over a peak from a GBFF," Jose says.

"He didn't know you were gay," I tell him.

"Well that explains it," Jose says biting a donut. "Oh Gawd, this is better than se…."

He caught himself before he said the donuts were better than sex.

Derrick gives him his back anyway as he dramatically turns to face only me.

"I saw you all at the door last night," Derrick says to me.

"Do tell," Jose says.

"I really need to darken your peephole," I tell him and he laughs.

I stuff my mouth with a donut, preventing me from talking and get up to leave for work.

"Is that practice," Jose jokes about my stuffed mouth and Derrick laughs at the slight.

My face turns red from being unable to laugh without spewing donut all over the floor.

I settle on giving them both the finger as I leave.

…..

 **Christians POV**

I wake up with morning wood like I've been doing every morning since the last day of October.

But the strain in my groin just strengthens my resolve as I sit on the edge of my bed and grab my phone to text Jess.

 **Me:** Good morning, I know it's early. I hope I didn't wake you.

 **Jess:** No, I guess you forgot. I'm an early bird.

 **Me:** No, I haven't forgotten. We need to talk about the divorce.

 **Jess:** Alright.

 **Me:** Why haven't you signed the papers yet?

 **Jess** : because we haven't talked about it. There is a lot to work out.

 **Me:** Let's talk today then.

 **Jess:** When.

 **Me:** Can you come to GH around noon? It's the only opening in my schedule today. If not we can meet after work.

 **Jess:** No noon is fine. I'll make us lunch.

 **Me:** not necessary, it shouldn't take that long.

 **Jess:** Okay.

 **Me:** I'll see you at noon.

I take a tepid shower and follow the smell of freshly made coffee to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Son," my dad greets me as he sips his coffee and reads the paper like he does every morning I've known him without fail.

"Morning, Dad," I greet him. "Where's Mom?"

"Somewhere helping the twins," he says.

Taking advantage of the time I have him alone, I tell him about my meeting with Jess.

"That's good you all are talking," he tells me. "It will make this process go much faster. Otherwise this thing can drag out for a year or two in court."

"I know," I tell him. "That is what I need to avoid."

He nods.

"What has lit this fire under your ass," he asks me.

"Not really a fire," I tell him. "I just don't want to live in this limbo any longer. The twins are much better now that Jess and I are getting alone and they get to see her. I need to keep us all moving in that direction."

"I agree," he tells me. "Phoebe wasn't anxious at all without you last night. She didn't ask to call you once. The best thing you all can do for them is get along and get going with living your lifes."

I nod.

"How are you going to handle this meeting with Jess," he asks me.

"I just want her to sign the divorce papers," I tell him. "We've already agreed on the twins. The rest is whatever she wants."

"I don't think its going to be that easy," he tells me. "I think what Jess wants is the marriage."

"No," I tell him. "I don't think that's the case."

"I hope you're right son," he tells me, "for everyone's sake, especially the twins. But be prepared. I've spoken to her lawyer several times on the issue of her not signing and he dodges me evey time. Now we know it's not the money or property she wants because she can have it. She's okay with the arrangement with the kids. The only thing left is you. I think she wants you."

"She knows that's not going to happen," I tell him.

"Good morning, Dear," My mom greets me.

"Morning Mom," I get up to kiss her cheeks and pull out her chair so she may join us.

"I have it on good authority that you stayed out well past your siblings last night," she starts.

"Good authority huh," I tell her. "You mean that sister of mine blabbed her big mouth."

Dad laughs.

"Not really," Mom tells me. "She just asked if you were home since you didn't answer her text. Try as I might I couldn't pry anything out of her."

"Trust me, Son," Dad says. "She tried."

I laugh.

"So spill it," Mom says.

"Dadddyyy," Phoebe comes to greet me and saves me from my integration.

"Hey, Babydoll," I greet her with a hug. "Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Uh huh," she says. "I gave Grandpa a makeover."

"You did," I laugh. "Wow, I would have loved to have seen that."

"I'll text you the pic," Mom says.

Dad clears his throat and continues on reading his newspaper while mom and I have a laugh at his expense.

...

 **Ana's POV**

I'm about to dismiss the class for lunch when the door opens up and grabs everyone's attention.

Brandon's tall frame fills the doorway and he whisper an apology, believing the kids had already gone.

"Class, say hello to Mr. Ramsey," I tell them.

"Helloo Mr. Ramseeyy," they all sing.

"Hello everyone," he says.

"Sandy will you take them please," I ask my T.A.

"Sure," she says. "All right line up guys."

"Thanks," I tell her.

"Enjoy your lunch." She tells me.

"Sorry about that," Brandon says.

"It's fine," I tell him as we sit down to eat the lunch he brought.

"This is really good," I tell him, eating the chicken Cesar salad. "Thank you."

"So, what's the reason for this visit," he asks me, impatiently. "Not that I mind visiting."

"I just needed to check in," I tell him.

"Okay," he says. "So am I a friend or Doctor?"

"Doctor. I think it would make it easier," I tell him and he nods.

"I felt something last night," I say to him and he frowns, not getting my meaning.

"I met someone about a week ago," I start giving him the short version of me and Christian. "He was in my room last night. He took off his shirt and I felt…..something."

"Sexually," he says surprised.

"Very," I say clarifying my meaning.

"You met him a week ago and he's already in your room with his shirt off," he exclaims.

"Wow, I sound like a slut when you say it," I tell him.

"What," he says perplexed and then laughs. "No, I'm sorry I just can't believe it. This guy has done more for you in a week then I have in three years!"

"Not true," I tell him. "I wouldn't have come this far without you."

"Are you afraid of your feelings," he asks me.

"No," I tell him. "That's the thing. I'm not afraid. He was in my room with no shirt on and before that we were in a lodge and I was naked under a robe and we kissed **in the bed**. We kiss all the time and with the exception of the first time, I love it. it's great."

He tries and fails to hide his smile.

"What happened the first time," he asks, catching that part.

"He touched me while we were kissing," I tell him and he nods in understanding. "I jumped and spilled wine all over his couch.'

"I take it he knows not to do that anymore," he tells me and I nod.

"I never asked him not to. I guess the fact that I nearly jumped off of his twenty story high balcony was a big enough incentive not to do it again," I joke.

"He doesn't push you," he asks me. "He is respectful of your feelings?"

"Very much so," I tell him. "He moves very carefully and slowly giving me chance to stop him if I need to. I let him touch me."

"How," he asks me.

"Just my face," I tell him. "He pulls me close to him now."

"No hint of freak out," he asks and I shake my head.

"None," I tell him, "quite the opposite. I even pull him close to me."

"You like his touch," he ask me.

"Very much," I tell him. "It's very comforting among other things. We fell asleep together on the bed and it was very….comforting. I didn't have a nightmare or even a hint of one and no fear at all."

I leave out the part about feeling Christian hard against my thigh. He may be my shrink but he is still like a brother to me.

He stares at me.

"Well Doc," I say to him. "What the hell is happening to me now?"

"In my professional opinion, I'd have to say you are finally learning to trust someone," he tells me.

"You think," I tell him sarcastically and he laughs. "Why now? I've only known him a week."

"Trust isn't always about how long you've known someone," he tells me. "It's about how the person makes you feel. It sounds to me like this person not only respects you but is sensitive to your feelings."

"So, I'm cured," I ask him.

"Ana," he frowns, upset at my words. "You were never ill. You were just traumatized and in one of the worst possible ways a woman could be traumatized. The fact that you are making these strides is wonderful."

"But what if my judgment is off again," I ask him.

"You were sixteen years old, Ana," he tells me. "Not many teenagers have the tools or the experience needed to know who to trust. Not many adults do either, by the way."

"That's not very comforting," I tell him.

"It wasn't meant to be," he tells me. "Everyone is afraid of the shady stranger but is always surprised when Jim Bob the friendly neighbor has bodies buried in his basement."

"Jim Bob," I say and he smiles.

"My point is, just be smart," he tells me. "The advice comes too late since you've already been in his apartment, which surprises the hell out of me, by the way."

"We weren't alone," I tell him. "He has security, military and policemen."

"Good," he breathes out.

"We were alone in the hotel room though," I confess. "And last night in my apartment."

"Sounds like he's already proven himself," he tells me. "The fact that your flags aren't flying is saying a lot. Now I just have one question."

"Shoot," I say.

"Who the hell is this guy," he wonders and I laugh.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I rush back to my office. My meeting ran late and I am hoping that Andrea asked Jess to wait for me.

"Mrs. Grey is waiting for you in your office," she says to me. I thank her and continue on.

I walk in to find Jess staring at the photo of us on our wedding day I keep on my desk.

"You still have it here," she tells me, putting it back. I simply nod. I never thought to remove it.

"How are you Jess," I ask her.

"I'm okay," she says. "It's good to see you."

"You too," I tell her.

"Jess," I begin. "I want you to know that I meant what I said in John's office. Whatever you need to get past this, I'll give you."

"I know," she says.

I wait for her to speak but she remains quiet.

"Are you going to tell me what it is," I finally ask her.

She starts biting her nails nervously, thinking of the best way to tell me. A sense of dread comes over me as I watch the familiar gesture.

Whatever it is, I know it's not going to be good.

"Jess," I call her name.

"Christian, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately," she tells me.

"About the divorce," I ask her.

"No," she says, "about our marriage."

"Jess," I warn her.

"Just please hear me out," she says.

I take a deep breath.

"What is it," I ask her.

"I've been in intense therapy since I left our home that night," she tells me. "I've been working through what happen with Andrew and I've finally gotten to a place where I can look at myself in the mirror again without hating what I see."

"Jess," I soften to her.

"I know Christian," she tells me. "But I still blame myself. I'm much better than I was."

"It was an accident," I tell her. "A horrible accident and I will never forgive myself for the way I dealt with it. I was beyond heartless and selfish. I am so sorry."

"Christian," she starts again. "Before we lost him, we had a good marriage. We were happy."

"Yes we were for the most part," I agree. "But Jess…"

"So why can't we have that again," she asks.

"Jess," I say to her. "You can't be serious?"

"I want us to try," she tells me. "I want us to fight for our marriage."

"And how does Rob feel about all of this," I sneer at her. "Does he know you're trying to save a marriage he helped put asunder by cheating with you?"

"Rob and I have decided to take a step back," she explains.

"A step back," I repeat. "A little later for that isn't it."

I stop and take a breath. This isn't what I wanted to talk about.

"I know, okay," she says. "I know how much I hurt you and the twins. I don't know why..."

"You needed someone," I tell her. "I get that now. I wasn't what you needed, Jess. I'm still not what you need."

"But we can get it back, Christian, if we tried," she tells me. "We can be what we once were."

"No," I tell her. "Jess, I just want to be done with it. Aren't you tired of holding on, of hurting?"

"No, because I still love you," she confesses. "I've never stopped loving you, not for a minute. I know my actions say different, but it's true."

"You have to let go, Jess," I tell her. "You and I will never work."

"Why," she says defiantly.

"Because I've let go," I tell her.

She sits stunned

"No. I don't believe that," she tells me.

"Jess, when you walked out and left me and the kids….I was so fucking angry with you. No one was allowed to say your name, I was just that fucking angry with you," I tell her.

"But underneath that anger was hurt and that was because you care about me," she reasons. "You love me Christian. I know it. It's not that great once in a lifetime love, I know that, but a part of you loves me."

"What I am trying to say is that I had to let a lot of that hurt and anger go for the twins," I tell her. "I had to get to a place where I could forgive you. I'm not all the way there yet, maybe because I'm having so much trouble forgiving myself…."

"Spend some time with me," she says. "You'll remember how good it was. You'll forgive me. We'll forgive each other."

"Jess," I try and stop her.

"Do you remember the time when the twins were just starting to walk and we took them to the beach for the first time," she asks me. "Do you remember how funny they were when they felt the sand in their toes?"

"Jess, please stop," I tell her.

"Why don't you want to remember," she asks me.

"Because that's all there will ever be between us," I tell her. "Jess, it won't change my mind. I want a divorce."

"No," she says shaking her head vehemently.

"Jess, it's over," I tell her again.

"NO," she says again. "The four of us can be happy again. I'm not giving up on our family. I will fight for us even if you won't..."

"Jess," I interrupt her.

"Christian," she continues. "I know there is still a chance for us. I'm not signing those stupid divorce papers…."

"Jess, I've met someone," I whisper to her.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you all for reading and reviewing.**


	17. From The Gray Door To The Pink Door

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Seventeen**

 **From The Gray Door To The Pink Door**

 **Christian's POV**

"Jess, please stop," I tell her.

"Why don't you want to remember," she asks me.

"Because that's all there will ever be for us," I tell her. "Jess, it won't change my mind. I want a divorce."

"No," she says. "I'm not giving up on us. I'm not signing those stupid papers…."

"I've met someone," I whisper to her.

"What," she says gutted.

"I care about her Jess," I tell her.

"Who is she," she asks me.

"Does that matter," I ask her.

"Yes, it matters," she tells me angrily. "All this time I've been beating myself up for my affair and all the while you've been sleeping with someone else."

"You are un **fucking** believable," I spit out at her. "Not that I owe you an explanation, but I haven't broken our wedding vows. **I** have honored my promise to **you**."

"You haven't slept with her," she says, hopeful.

"No," I tell her dryly.

"Then there is still a chance for us," she breathes out in happy relief.

"Wow," I channel Ana and her favorite phrase. "You are something else."

"I meant it will just make things easier for us," she tries to explain. "Less complicated."

"So, my sleeping with someone else is a big problem for you," I hiss at her. "But I'm supposed to be okay with you opening up your legs to the goddamn world!"

"FUCK YOU," she yells out hurt.

"NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T," I yell back.

"You are such a bastard," she cries.

"And you're a Goddamn hypocrite," I yell at her.

"How long have you been seeing her," she asks me skeptically. "For you to admit you care about her, it has to have been a while. Was she in our marriage with us?"

"No," I tell her. "No one was in our marriage but you and me and Rob, toward the end, if I'm to take your word for it. I met her about a week ago."

"She's already that important to you," she ask me and I nod yes.

"A week," she whispers in disbelief. "A week? You care about her that much in just a week?"

"Jess," I begin.

"My God," she says devastated, hurt, and defeated.

"Jess," I say to her. "Please."

"Was I ever important to you," she asks. "Did I ever mean ANYTHING to you?"

"You left me," I remind her. "You brought someone else into our marriage and you slept with him."

"YOU KNOW WHY," she tells me.

"I do," I tell her. "I understand it Jess. I take my share of the blame in it. Hell, I've even forgiven it. But I can't forget it and we can't sure as hell go back and change it."

"We can," she screams out in frustration.

"I DON'T WANT TO," I admit to her.

I get up and pace the floor as she watches me cautiously.

"Jess," I soften my tone. "The only thing I would go back and change is what happened to our son. The rest is happening the way it should. You and I both know that the only thing that kept us going was the kids. How long do you think that would have lasted once they became more independent and didn't need us as much? The cracks would have eventually given way."

"What the hell do you expect me to do now, Christian," she asks me. "Do you expect me to just bow out and let her have my husband, my kids, and my life?"

I am taken aback by her sudden possesiveness.

"She's just going to come in and take my place, is that it," she asks me.

"A place you clearly didn't want any more," I remind her. "Or have you forgotten that you've been sleeping with Rob all these months?"

"Are you expecting me to let her have it all, Christian," she asks me again.

"No one is having anything," I tell her. "No one can take your place with the kids, YOU are their mother. If you want this fucking life, Jess, have at it. I'll give you any damn thing you want. You were right here helping me build it, so it's yours anyway. The only thing you can't have is our marriage."

"I don't know what I was thinking, Christian. I know I messed up when I cheated. I know..I know.. I know..I did," she says desperately. "But I want our marriage."

"Why do you fucking want it," I ask her. I stop pacing and sit back down again.

"I remember that day we took the kids to the beach," I tell her. "But do you remember the night before? You and I had been at odds for a few days about something. I don't even recall what it was. Mia had so thoughtfully planned a surprise couple's night and she took the kids home with her. Gail had made this amazing dinner, candlelight, music; it was supposed to be romantic, topped off with a night of love making. But how was it Jess?"

"You are going to throw a seven year marriage away for one bad date night," she cries.

"Bad date...Jess," I say to her in frustration. "We were Goddamn strangers. We sat trying to think of things to say to each other for a damn hour until we gave up and started talking about the kids. The next day we were so desperate to avoid the reality of it, we ended up with the kids at the beach."

"That didn't change how much I love you Christian," she tells me. I throw my hands up in exasperation.

"You can have half of GEH, and the house in Aspen," I continue on. "I know you don't want the penthouse here, but you always loved the one in New York…"

"I don't want it," she cries "None of it means anything to me now. It's all been a lie. My whole marriage has been a lie! My whole life has been a lie!"

"Please don't rewrite our history out of anger," I tell her. "You know it wasn't a lie. We tried Jess. We both tried. It just wasn't enough."

She takes the divorce papers out of her bag.

"I thought I was going to get to tear these up today," she tells me holding them up. "I still could. I could try to force you to work on this marriage with me."

"It would only make me hate you," I tell her, bluntly.

"Because I've lost you to someone you've only known a damn week," she sneers.

"No Jess," I correct her. "I lost you to Rob Rogers months ago. Maybe we could have held on if everything hadn't happened. I don't know. I am tired of trying to figure it out. I just want closure now."

"Christian.." she starts.

"For fuck sakes, Jess, please, just let me go," I beg her.

She shakes her head no and sobs uncontrollably in her chair. I sit beside her, but I make no move to physically comfort her.

In control of herself once again, I watch her try to steady her hand. She signs her name on the paperwork and slides it across the desk in front of me. Slowly, she slides off her wedding rings and places them on top of the divorce papers.

"I just want an answer to my question," she tells me as I stand up. "Was I always just an obligation? Did you ever love me in any way at all? "

"I loved you the best way I knew how. I love you now as the mother of my children," I tell her and she laughs half heartedly.

"I guess that's better than nothing," she says as she gets up and walks away.

She makes it to the door, opens it, and turns to face me.

"I will always love you, Christian," she tells me. " I will always want the best for you and I know that it's me. I know you better than anyone and I know I can still make you happy if you would just give us a chance. Just think about it before you file those divorce paper. If you change your mind..."

I walk over to where she stands holding the door frame of my gray door. I sweep her bangs out of her face and lean down to kiss her forehead.

"Goodbye, Jessie," I tell her, she scoffs through tears at her childhood nickname, smiles sadly and walks out the door.

I ceremoniously close it behind her.

…

 **Wednesday November 11, 2015**

 **Ana's POV**

"A Penny for your thoughts," I smile when I hear Christian's voice.

I am sitting at my desk with my eyes closed trying to relax. I have been meeting with parents for the last two hours.

"I was trying not to think, actually," I tell him as I open my eyes to look at him.

 _Damn he looks good._

He is wearing a gray suit, white shirt and gray tie. The designer suit fits so well that it looks like it was painted on him.

"Long day," he says.

"Yeah," I tell him. "Parents, you know."

"Are they giving you a hard time," he asks me.

"No, not at all," I tell him. "It's just, sometime it's not easy for them to hear that little Chucky is not the prodigy they thought he was. God forbid he doesn't pull all A's out of his ass all of the time."

He laughs.

"I really shouldn't be talking to you like this," I tell him, "considering you're a parent and all."

"Well," he tells me. "I don't expect my little Chucky to pull all A's out of his ass."

"And please tell me you don't have a kid named Chucky," he asks me.

"No," I laugh. "It's a name Charlotte uses for her older brother. It's a play on the demonic doll from the move child's play and her dad's name."

"Ah yes," he tells me, "the junior Mr. Ramsey. Hazel thinks he's cute by the way."

"Hazel," I say in confusion.

"Phoebe's friend," he clarifies. "She told me he stopped in to say hi to the class and that Hazel thinks he's 'supper' cute."

I laugh.

"Shall we get started," I say avoiding his lead and not satisfying his curiosity about Brandon.

He nods. I point to the chair in front of me and he sits down.

"Where are the twins by the way," I ask him. Most times the kids are also in the meeting.

He picks up his phone and tells whoever it is to bring the kids in.

"Wow," I say to that and he laughs at me.

"Hey, guys," I say to them as they come in.

"Hi, Ms. Steele," they both says to me.

Hi, Daddy," Phoebe adds.

"Hey, Babydoll," he smiles down at her. She has him wrapped around her little finger.

The twins sit on either side of him as we go over first Teddy and then Phoebe's progress so far, as I show him their work on the computer. He is very pleased as he should be. They are two of the brightest in the class and are having no problem hitting their benchmarks.

"They both are a little talkative to their table mates but are easily redirected," I tell him about behavioral issues. "Both have their own set of friends and get along quite well."

"You guys are doing great," he smiles at them and gives them both high fives.

"So this is where the magic happens huh, guys," he says looking around.

"This is it," I tell him as he looks around the busy room with the colorful chairs and the hot pink, green, and purple supply crates and wall decor.

"I would probably have a seizure in here," he tells me and I laugh.

"I know," I agree with him. "It does take some getting used to, but the class decorated it themselves so they love it. Guys, why don't you show your dad around the room?"

"Okay," Phoebe says.

"Oh, I'm sure Miss. Steele has other parents waiting," he tells her.

"No," I tell him. "You are the last one."

"Come on, Daddy," Phoebe says taking his hand.

"Don't worry," I tell him. "I'm certified in all types of emergencies."

He smirks at me and I try not to laugh.

I need to stretch my legs so I get up and move around.

I watch as they both tug him along excitedly showing him where they sit, what they like to do and every single item that decorates the walls. He listens intently, trying to follow both Teddy and Phoebe as they are talking at the same time.

Finally when they are all done, Mrs. Beachum comes in to collect them.

"See you tomorrow, Ms. Steele," Phoebe waves good bye.

"See you tomorrow Phoebe," I tell her.

Teddy comes up and gives me my second goodbye hug of the day.

"Bye, Ms. Steele," he says to me.

"Bye Teddy," I tell him.

"Laters, Dad," he high fives Christian.

….

 **Christian's POV**

"That's my brother's influence," I tell Ana as I watch Teddy follow Phoebe out the door with Mrs. Beachum.

"Ah, Fagin himself," she says. "Elliot's a great guy."

"I have to agree," I tell her. "And you have sure charmed him and Teddy."

 _Jesus Christ!_

I can barely look at her as she moves to sit on top of her desk.

She has a light gray pencil skirt on and a lacey white blouse. Even those god awful gray flats look good on her.

Her bare legs are crossed at the knees and I have to mentally smack my hand to keep it from reaching out to caress them.

 _Fuck! What I wouldn't give to be able to have my head between those legs tasting her. Just the soft feel of them resting around my back and shoulders as I pleasure her, is driving me insane. I just know she tastes of exquisitely sweet honey._

"What about you," she says. "Do you find me charming?"

She means it as harmless teasing, but damn she is killing me.

"Charming doesn't even begin to describe how I find you," I tell her.

"You look stressed," she says as she tilts her head to the side and regards me. Her hair is down, falling around her beautiful face. And fuck me I want to take her right there on that fucking desk.

"It's been a rough week," I tell her as my brain and body finally reconnect.

"It's almost over," she tells me sympathetically.

"Yes it is," I say to her.

"Do you golf," she asks me. "It's a great way to relieve stress. I go all the time with Mr. Ramsey."

Remembering our earlier conversation, I go over to where she sits and place my hands on either side of the desk, just shy of touching the sides of her thighs. She scoots back to give me room.

"Which Mr. Ramsey," I ask her.

"Are you jealous again, Mr. Grey," she teases me.

"Just curious," I counter.

"You know what they say about curiosity," she taunts me.

"It killed the cat," I answer and she nods her head.

"I'll take my chances," I tell her.

"Brandon was my psychiatrist," she tells me. "And a friend, but I meant Chuck."

"Was," I ask her. "Still is when I need him to be."

She puts her head down not wanting to say more.

"Hey," I call to her and she looks up. "I have one of those too. And, I still have eight of my nine lives left."

She smiles and fixes my tie.

"Am I making you uncomfortable," I ask her hoping that's not the case.

"No," she says. "I like having you close."

She bits that lip and…Fuck it.

She gasps in surprise when I press my lips into hers.

"Mmmm," I moan when she threads her fingers through the back of my hair to pull me close.

"I've missed this," I pant out to her. "It's been only a day and I miss this."

I put my arms around her hips to bring her even closer to me.

Her skirt hikes a bit too far up her legs and she stops our kiss, desperately grabbing to pull it back down.

"Shit, baby, I'm sorry," I tell her helping her pull it back down. "I didn't mean for that to happen."

"I know," she says and kisses me.

 **She** fucking kisses **me**.

"I'm fine," she says trying to distract me with kisses.

"Mmmm, nice try, baby," I tell her and she laughs.

"Damn," she says. "Am I losing my charm already?"

"Oh you have charm coming out of you're..." I start and think better about it. "You are very charming. I just wanted to ask you something."

"What is it," she says frowning, thinking I'm going to ask her something she doesn't want to talk about.

"Will you go out on a date with me," I ask her. "Let me take you out on a formal date. I'll pick you up at your door, the whole nine yards. I've never done that before, but I would really like to with you."

She just stares at me and I'm afraid she's going to say no.

But then her face beams in a breath taking smile.

"Yes," she says excitedly. "I would love to go out with you."

…

 **Friday the Thirteenth,**

 **November 13, 2015**

 **Ana's POV**

"Friday the thirteenth? Friday the thirteenth is the day you all decide to have your first official going out on a date, date," Jose says as he fumbles through clothes taken from his closet, mine, and Chars.

He is throwing them left and right as he tries to put something together for me to wear.

"And with one and a half days notice," he gripes. "That is too much pressure on me. I need time to create a masterpiece."

I sit in my robe with my hair all curled and natural looking make-up on, thanks to Derrick, waiting for Jose to finish complaining and start dressing me.

Black leather jacket, an azure colored chiffon blouse, black skinny jeans, black high heeled studded ankle boots, black oversized handbag and matching accessories is what Jose swears I look "hawt" in.

"I would have dressed you in white for your virgin date, but honey, its bad luck Friday," he says. "You probably would have got your period and started bleeding like a stuffed pig."

"Stop with the bad luck Friday," Derrick scolds him. "It's going to be the perfect date."

"Whatever," Jose says. "Well I put a four leaf clover in your bag just in case. I'm going to go back and finish hiding under my covers now."

"I'll join you," Derrick says.

"We'll see tomorrow," Jose says giving me air kisses so not to mess up my hair and make-up.

"Thank for everything," I tell them.

"We always got your back," Derrick says.

...

 **Christian's POV**

"Seriously, no Canlis, I thought you wanted to impress her," Elliot says to me and I shake my head no.

"Too quiet, it will make her feel self conscious," I explain to him.

"He's right, she would hate it," Kate agrees.

"How do I look," I tell them before I walk out to the elevator.

"You look great Bro, totally sexy," Elliot says sarcastically.

"Leave him alone, Elliot," Kate says to him. "And you do look sexy."

"Damn, Babe, I'm **right** here," Elliot says to Kate and she laughs.

"Not as sexy as you Ellie," she croons.

"And on that note, I'm out of here," I tell them. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck," they say to me as they wave goodbye.

"What," Elliot says as I laugh.

"You guys look like mom and dad when I went off to the prom," I tell him and he laughs.

"Yeah we know what happened that night," He teases me.

I give him the finger while the elevator closes.

...

I stand outside Ana's door and take a minute to fix myself. I run a hand through my hair before I knock.

"Oh my Gawd, he is gorgeous," I hear a male voice say from behind me.

"Get away from there," another male voice whispers and I shake my head after figuring out who it is.

I knock on her door and wait for her to answer.

"Hi," she says smiling at me.

"Hi," I tell her as I take in the sight of her. "Jesus Ana, you look…."

I struggle for a word.

"Hawt," I hear Jose.

"Hot," I agree with him.

"Thank you," she says to me. "Come in."

I laugh when I hear moans of protest.

"Sorry about that," she says to me closing her door and preventing them from seeing us.

"No problem," I tell her. "This is for you."

I give her the platinum Lacquered long stemmed red rose I had special ordered for tonight.

"Christian," she gasps. "It's beautiful."

"I wanted to get you roses and something that would last forever. I just figured this would do well."

"Thank you," she tells me giving me a peak on the cheek. "It's beyond perfect."

"You really do look hot," I tell her again.

 _She smells even better._

"You look pretty hot yourself," she tells me taking a minute to check me out.

She blushes and goes to place the rose on the counter next to her orchids.

"Shall we go," I ask her and she nods. I hold out my hand and she grabs hold.

"Miss. Steele," Taylor greets her warmly as he holds open her door.

"Hello, Taylor," she smiles at him and climbs inside the SUV.

I hold her hand the whole ride there.

At one point she giggles, wipes the sweat off of her hand and then gives it back to me.

"Sorry," she says. "I'm a little nervous."

I smile as I bring her hand up to my lips for a kiss.

...

"It's a restaurant," I explain to her when we stand in front of the plain pink door of The Pink Door Restaurant. I open it and she steps inside.

"Wow," she says impressed as she hears the live blues band play and she looks around at the empty swings and dramatic deep red curtains. She smiles at me and I am relieved I made the right choice.

Instead of my usual, tucked in the corner table, I opt for one that is closer to the entertainment, but far enough away so we'll still have some resemblance of privacy.

I love that she allows me to order for her.

I choose the Risotto with fresh northwest Dungeness crab, corn, mascarpone sauce with tender herbs and a bottle of sauvignon blanc 2013.

"This place is amazing," she says as she sips her wine.

"I'm glad you like it," I tell her.

"I would like any place you picked," she tells me between bites of her Risotto and her moans of pleasure. "But this place is just perfect."

She looks up at the high ceiling as the lights dim.

She actually squealed when the burlesque show began and I swear for all the world she reminded me of an excited Phoebe.

...

"I had a great time Christian," she says to me as I walk her to her door. "I really enjoyed everything, especially the show."

I would like to tell her I enjoyed the show, but in all honesty I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Even in the dim light, she was glowing.

"You are an amazing woman Anastasia Steele," I tell her and she smiles shyly at me.

"Do you want to come in," she asks me.

"More than anything," I tell her. "But I'd better not. Nothing good will come of it."

She raises an eyebrow at me.

"Okay, something good would," I laugh.

"Mmmmm," I say as she takes the opportunity to kiss me. I reach one hand behind her head and the other around her back to pull her close.

"Do know how crazy you drive me," I pant to her she nods her head yes. She leans her back against her door to catch her breath. I place one of my palms on the wall to steady myself and wrap my other arm around her waist to bring her back close to me.

"I have some idea," she tells me and I realize she is talking about my very prominent erection.

I discreetly readjust myself and open her door for her.

"Can I call you tomorrow," I ask her.

"I would be very disappointed if you didn't," she tells me.

"I never want to disappoint you," I tell her and kiss her goodnight.

"Good night Christian," she says to me.

I take a chance and smack her on the ass, causing her to yelp in surprise.

Her mouth falls open at me allowing me to kiss her again.

"Sweet dreams, baby," I tell her.

"Laters, baby," she tells me and I laugh.

I hear her lock her door and I walk away.

And damn if it doesn't take every ounce of self control I have to walk away from her.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I will try to update again tomorrow night, but if not have a wonderful Thanksgiving.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	18. Thankful Thanksgiving

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Eighteen**

 **Thankful Thanksgiving**

 ** _Two Weeks Later_**

 **Thursday, November 26, 2015**

 **Christian's POV**

"Okay, but don't eat too much," Ana warns me. "I don't want you barfing in Charlie Tango tomorrow. I wouldn't know how to fly it."

"I won't, baby," I assure her. "And don't let Jose talk you out of going."

"I won't," she laughs, "happy Thanksgiving, Christian."

"Happy Thanksgiving, Ana," I tell her.

I hang up the phone looking forward to seeing her tomorrow and thanking God she's not into Black Friday shopping.

I make a mental note to pick her brain for what she might want for Christmas when I have her up in Charlie Tango.

She and I have been seeing a lot of each other these last two weeks.

It started with me dropping by her place before work the Monday after our date and I just continued the practice.

Sometimes we would join Derrick and Jose for coffee.

It took Derrick a while to warm up to me, but once he realized I wasn't some smooth talking asshole just trying to get into Ana's panties, he loosened up a bit. The fact that my impending divorce became public knowledge is what really thawed him out towards me.

When Dad filed the papers, he did so asking the courts to keep the specific details private, but that didn't stop the speculation and the so called entertainment magazines spewing them as fact.

Jess and I were on the tabloid radar ducking paparazzi for three days straight until the public got bored of us and moved on.

Thank fuck some senator got caught in a prostitution scandal otherwise Jess and I would still be the hot topic. Now we only have to deal with a few hanger ons that are easily avoided.

I am worried about the twins and how they are handling the fact that our private life is news, especially now that they are old enough to understand. We are all doing a great job of shielding them from the worst of it, but some things still filter through.

Ana assures me that they are getting support from their friends in school who have become very protective of them.

When she noticed that Teddy had become somewhat withdrawn in class, she brought it to my attention, so he and I had a father and son day.

He wanted to go out on The Grace with me. We had fun out on the water just the two of us and just like I'd hoped he opened up to me a little. He was afraid for Jess.

Since I was the one who petitioned for divorce, most of the speculation had been negatively aimed toward her. It ran the gamut from her cheating to her going after everything we own in the divorce. None of it was remotely accurate, including what they said about her cheating.

Teddy had caught wind of some it and he didn't want her feelings to be hurt.

Jess and I talked to him and Phoebe together and assured them their mom will be okay as long as we all stick together as a family, and that is exactly what we've been doing.

Now, as I stand in my bedroom getting dressed for Thanksgiving dinner, I take a deep breath and try to shake it all off.

The only up side was that Ana and I spent an amazing weekend together here last week while the twins were with Jess.

She came over Friday after work and left Sunday afternoon.

All we did was locked ourselves inside of the penthouse, watched movies, and pigged out on all the wrong types of food.

She introduced me to Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream which is so damn good. I'm addicted to it now. And I introduced her to mountain dew cupcakes which I happened upon purely by accident when I spilled the drink in some lemon batter I was whipping up. She loves them as much as the twins and I do.

She was staying in the guest room until a nightmare that first night, brought her into my room.

I woke up when I heard my bedroom door open.

 _"_ _Christian," I heard her call to me._

 _"_ _Ana, what's wrong," I asked her. I turned on my bedside lamp to see her upset. "Baby, come here."_

 _I pulled back the covers and she climbed inside my bed._

 _I waited until she was settled, her back to my front, before I covered her up._

 _"_ _Nightmare," she simply said._

 _"_ _Can I hold you," I asked her and she nodded._

 _"_ _Please," she told me._

I slipped my hand around her waist and held her close. She soon drifted off to sleep.

I laid awake watching her for any signs of another nightmare and wondered what they were about.

When I asked her about it that Saturday morning, she only said that she'd trusted someone she shouldn't have and he hurt her.

She didn't say how but I have my suspicions and each one makes my blood boil with anger knowing some bastard has put his hands on her.

That morning I also made her my famous pumpkin pancakes and fuck me did she moan.

 _"_ _Oh my Gawd, these are the best pancakes I ever had," she moaned out dramatically and I tried hard not to laugh._

 _"_ _What," she said when she caught me._

 _"_ _I think Jose is starting to rub off on you, baby," I told her and she rolled her eyes at me._

Oh if she only knew what that does to me. Oh perhaps she does.

Saturday night, we didn't even discuss it, when it was time to go to bed she went to the guest room, changed, and then joined me in my bed.

Her back to my front, our fingers intertwined together, and my nose buried in her hair.

"Daddy are you almost ready," I hear Phoebe call now from behind my door.

"Be out in a minute, Babydoll," I tell her.

I grab my jacket and join them in the great room.

"You guys look great," I tell them. Mia took them shopping and bought their outfits. I have to say she has great taste.

Phoebe has on a yellow dress with a black tiny polka dot pattern and black trim.

Teddy opted for something more casual like his old man. He has on gray sweater, olive green jeans, and a navy blue coat. I have on a dark blue sweater, blue jeans, and a tan jacket.

Anderson is driving us to my parent's house in Bellevue this afternoon. Taylor and Gail have the next four days off. They are having Thanksgiving with Sophie in Vancouver before they join Gail's sister in Portland for the weekend.

….

"Look at the three of you," my mom gushes as we join her, Dad, and Mia in the sitting room. "You all just look adorable. Cary, don't they look adorable?"

"Like cute little lady bugs," my dad appeases her.

"You too Grandma," Phoebe says and Teddy agrees.

"Come on you little rugrats," Mia tells the twins. "Let's go sneak some dessert."

"Looking great Sis," I tell her.

"Thank you, big bro," Mia says, peaking me on the cheek before she leaves the room.

The twins take off with her before I can warn them not to eat too much junk before dinner.

"Have a seat, Son," my dad says to me. I sit down and he hands me a small tumbler of scotch. "We haven't seen much of you these last few weeks. How have you been?"

"Great for the most part," I tell him honestly.

"That's good," he says "We just don't want you to cut yourself off from us. We know divorce and the whole moving on with life process is not easy, but we are here for you."

"I'm really okay, Dad," I tell him. "I know I've been MIA a little bit lately, but it's just things are getting busy. Always does this time of year."

He nods in understanding.

"Have you all decided how you are going to handle the Christmas Holiday," he asks and I shake my head no.

"I've reached out to Jess," my mom tells me. "I went to visit her last weekend when she had the kids."

"How is she," I ask her.

"She puts on a brave face," she tells me. "But I think the gravity of the situation is weighing heavy on her now that she's realized you've reached the point of no return. I let her know that we are still her family. Maybe I'll invite her over. Her parents and sister have moved so far away. Maybe she needs someone to lend an ear."

I nod in agreement.

"She does need someone," I tell them. "That's one of the hard things about this. I know she is hurting and I can't help her without leading her on. So I have to keep my distance."

"Stop feeling guilty," Dad scolds. "She is no longer your responsibility son. Unless..."

"No," I answer, knowing he wants to know if I changed my mom about the divorce. "Look, I think now would be a good time to tell you, I've met someone."

They both look at each other.

"So you've taken my advice," my dad says proudly.

"Yes and no," I tell him. "I'm not playing the field. She is the only girl I am interested in."

"Cary," Mom scolds. "You told him to play the field? He's still married."

"Logistics," Dad says to her.

"It's only been a few weeks," I tell them. "But I do care for her. She has become important to me."

"I see," my mom says. "You should have invited her for Thanksgiving."

"It's not quite time for holiday family gatherings yet," I tell them. "We are testing the waters and taking things slow until the divorce is finalized."

"Yes, that's best," Mom says relieved.

"So she knows your situation," Dad says.

"She knows I'm divorcing my wife of seven years," I tell them. "I'm just not ready to talk about Andy and all the heavy stuff yet."

"Perfectly understandable, Son," my dad says.

"Is she nice," my mom starts. "Oh, I'm sure she is if she's caught your interest. What does she do?"

"She's..uh…a teacher," I tell them. My dad narrows his eyes at me.

"A Teacher," he asks. "Is that the Ms. Steele the kids are so fond of? Is that why…?"

"Yes, I am seeing the twin's teacher," I tell him. "But no that's not why they are fond of her. They have been doting on her since school started. She's a great girl. They don't know we're dating."

"Does Jess know," my mom asks. I shake my head no.

"Christian," she says astonished. "This is something she needs to know. What's going to happen when she starts picking the kids up from school. You better believe if the kids are talking to us about Ms. Steele, they are talking to Jess. She's going to want to meet their teacher."

"It's none of her damn business who he dates," Dad says.

"Cary," Mom scolds. "Right now she is still his wife and she will always be the kids mother."

"Now, Grace, she would have done well to remember that," Dad says. "She no longer has a claim. He has a right to date who he wants to date. If at some point it becomes serious and he wants to introduce whoever it is to the kids, then I can see talking to her. But as it stands right now with Ana being the kids teacher, that is a moot point anyway."

"I have to agree with Dad," I tell mom.

"You would," Mom pouts, "men."

I laugh.

"Enough talk about this," Dad says. "Let's enjoy our holiday."

Right on cue Kate and Elliot comes into the sitting room.

"Finally," I say to them.

"Hi everyone," Kate says.

"Kate you look great," I tell her kissing her cheek.

Elliot holds his arms open wide so that I may check him out.

"Elliot you look great," I tell him kissing his cheek.

My mom laughs, enjoying our antics.

"Now that we've passed inspection, can we eat," Elliot says. "I'm starving."

"You act like I never feed you," Kate scolds him.

"Oh you feed me, babe," he says. "I just can't eat it."

Kate rolls her eyes at him as my mom laughs.

…..

 **Ana's POV**

"I will see you for Christmas, Ray," I tell him.

"I'm glad to hear Seattle is treating you good, Annie," he tells me.

"Very good," I assure him. "I love it here. Give Dad my best when he gets there and tell him I'll call again later."

"Alright, love you," he tells me.

"I love you too," I tell him.

"Awww," Jose says.

"Oh shut up," I tell him.

"Ana how much brown sugar goes in the yams again," Char ask me as she fiddles away in the kitchen.

"I'm coming," I call out to her.

"Did you talk to Christian," Jose asks me.

"A little while ago," I tell him.

"Are you still going to Vancouver in that thing he flies around in," he asks me.

Christian has been invited to WSU Farming Division for the fall harvest event and he asked me to join him.

"Yes I am still going with him in Charlie Tango," I tell him and he shakes his head.

"You all are crazy getting in that thing," he tells me. "I read just yesterday where some poor soul crashed one into the river. I have half a mind to lock you in your room and forbid you to go."

"Don't be ridiculous, Daddy Jose," I tell him.

"Now I like the sound of that," he says whimsically.

"Ana," Char calls again.

"Coming," I call to her.

"Gurl let's go before she burns some shit up," José says to me.

We usually all separate for the Holiday. I spend mine in LA with dad and Ray, Jose and Derrick go to Tacoma with Jose's parents and Char goes to her parent's for the big dinner party they throw.

We all decided to have our own little dinner here this year and cook everything ourselves.

Everything is done except Char's yams.

"Ana I am serious," Derrick says to me as we finish setting the table. "You're outfit makes me want to be transgender just so I can wear it."

"I am so stealing it," Char says from the kitchen. "So don't wear it again after today."

I laugh at her. Usually Jose and I are the ones raiding her closet, so I'm glad she likes this outfit.

It is a light brown form fitting knee length turtle neck sweater dress. Jose suggested I complete it with my black knee high boots.

"You do look good girl," Jose says.

"I have to agree," Brandon says at the door.

"Mm mm mm," Jose says under his breath so only I can hear him as he looks at Brandon.

"Yeah it's just like you to show up after all the work is done, Chucky," Char teases her older brother.

"I bought wine," he reasons.

"You're forgiven," Derrick says to him.

"Pretty orchids," Brandon says as he passes the island in route to the kitchen. "And this rose is gorgeous. Is it real?"

"Oh hell yes it's real," Jose says before I can answer. "The man had his people go out and find the perfect rose and dip it in platinum, honey."

I shake my head as Char hides her grin.

"It is Ana's forever rose," he continues to boasts. "Christian Grey doesn't do anything half assed."

"Christian Grey," Brandon repeats like it's all new to him with his serious shrink face on. I smirk at him, like I haven't been wearing out his office couch over the last few weeks saying that very name.

"Alright let's eat," Char says as she puts the last of the food on our table.

Jose and I have put our small tables together. He and Derrick decorated them beautifully with fall colors of orange, yellow, and brown.

We say Grace and go around the room saying what we are thankful for.

"I am thankful that I get to do exactly what I love with people that I love sharing it with me," Char says.

"Aw," Jose says. "That's sweet."

"I am thankful that I have found the love of my life," Derrick says to Jose. "Not many people in this world can say that. I love you, Baby."

Jose is too choked up to say what he is thankful for and passes.

"I am thankful that I get to spend most of my time helping people and for wonderful friends and family," Brandon says.

"I am thankful for new beginnings," I tell them. "And for the love I have for each and every one of you, as well as those who couldn't be here with us today."

"To love," Jose raises his wine glass after finding his voice again.

"To love," we all toast.

"What a thankful thanksgiving," Jose says to us and we all agree.

….

 **Christian's POV**

We all sit at the large table mom had extended to make room for the extra places at tonight's dinner.

Grandpa and Grandma Trevelyan are here with us, as well as my dad's brother Uncle Nelson and his wife Aunt Sheila. Grandma and Grandpa Grey are in Florida and didn't feel up to traveling this year.

The twins are sitting on either side of me and I am pleased that they are quiet as the grownups talk until Grandma and Grandpa Trevelyan engage with them. They are both doting on their name sakes.

Theodore Trevelyan and Phoebe Trevelyan were both please as could be when Jess and I told them we would be naming the twins after them. Andrew was named after Jess's Dad. He took it very hard when we lost baby Andy, which just added to Jess's guilt and grief.

We all watch as Dad carves the turkey, like he does every year.

Elliot and I look at each other as a private joke passes between us.

When he and I were kids, we likened him to the Grinch who stole Christmas during the carving of the roast beast at the Who feast.

Dad always makes quite a show of carving the turkey and passing the meat down the table to us. The only thing missing is the dog to give a slice to.

I hear Mia snicker as she has just been let in on the joke last thanksgiving and still finds it funny that dad gives a dead on imitation of the loveable Grinch but doesn't know it.

As I look around the table at my family, I can't help but think that someone's missing. I hope that this time next year she'll be here with the family, enjoying the holidays with us.

That thought puts a smile on my face. It quickly fades when I see Elliot eyeing me suspiciously. I shrug innocently and Kate nudges him to leave me alone.

…..

I leave my parents house with enough left overs to feed a small army. I leave it in the staff refrigerator since the kids and I won't be here tomorrow to eat it.

Phoebe is comatose and there is no waking her so I carry her, get her undressed, and into bed.

Teddy doesn't want a story tonight, so I tuck him in and say goodnight.

"Dad," he says to me.

"What's on your mind, Son," I ask him.

"I just want to say….uh…"He struggles to tell me.

"You can tell me anything, Teddy," I tell him.

"I just want to say….I am thankful that you are my Dad," he gives me a hug. "I love you, Dad."

"Me too, son" I tell him. "I love you so much, Teddy."

I kiss the top of his head and tuck him back in. He quickly drifts off to sleep.

As I lay awake in bed I hear my phone alert.

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: I really should**

 **Date: November 26, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **Take my own advice about not eating too much. I nearly ate a whole apple pie all by myself.**

 **Please stock up on barf bags for Charlie Tango, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: I've got**

 **Date: November 26, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **you covered. I'll even put him on cruise control and hold your hair while you do it.**

 **Christian Grey,**

 **An expert at keeping vomit out of hair and CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Deal**

 **Date: November 26, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **I hope you had a great day. Good night Mr. Grey.**

 **Ms. Anastasia Steele**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: It was**

 **Date: November 26, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **A very good day, Miss Steele. Tomorrow will be better. Sweet dreams, baby.**

 **Christian Grey,**

 **Hoping you'll call if you have a nightmare and CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: I will**

 **Date: November 26, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **I promise. Sweet dreams Christian.**

 **Hoping I dream of you instead, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

I smile because I already know I will be dreaming of her again tonight.

I place my phone on her pillow so I can hear it if she calls and I close my eyes to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **-Well, I burned the turkey, but I got this update done. lol just kidding. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!**

 **-Some of you are having trouble finding this story on pinterest. You can just PM me your pinterest name if you have one and I should be able to find you.**

 **-No more updates until next week, so until then, take care.**

 **-And as always, thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	19. I Want More

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Nineteen**

 ** **I Want More****

 **Friday November 27, 2015**

 **Christian's POV**

"You two have everything, Son," I ask Teddy as he comes into the great room carrying what he and his sister are taking for the weekend.

"Yeah, we got everything," he tells me.

"The cell phones and the chargers," I double check and he nods his head yes.

"Okay, good," I tell him.

I call for his sister and she comes running down stairs.

"Phoebe, no running," I snap at her.

"Sorry, Daddy," she says. "I forgot."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, pumpkin," I tell her and she giggles at the nickname.

"Remember I'm going to be in Vancouver today. I won't be back until late tonight. Now what do you do if you can't reach me?"

"Call Uncle Elliot," Phoebe answers.

"Or Grandpa Grey," Teddy finishes.

"Okay, have fun with mom, I love you," I tell them as they step into the elevator with Anderson.

"Don't forget to feed Wilfred," Phoebe says to me as she waves.

"I won't, Babydoll," I tell her.

…

 **Ana's POV**

"Christian, what are you doing down here," I ask him when he opens the door to let me out of my car.

"I came to escort you up," he tells me giving me a kiss that makes my knees go weak.

"What if someone sees us," I ask him looking around.

"Let them," he says. "All they're seeing is me saying hello to my….friend."

"Well I surely hope you don't say hello to all of your….'friends' that way," I tell him.

"Only the lucky ones, Baby," he tells me.

"Wow," I say to his ego.

"Come on," he laughs and takes my hand.

"What about my bag," I ask him about my small luggage as we walk to the elevator.

"Ryan will get it," he tells me.

I wave to Ryan as he nods a hello to me.

We enter the elevator and Christian pounces on me as soon as the doors close.

"I missed you yesterday," he said when we break for air.

"Me too," I tell him honestly. "Much more than I should have."

We stand staring at each other, riding the electrical current that is running between us until the elevator doors open, bringing in a gust of much needed cool air to calm us down.

Christian takes my hand again and we walk into the foyer where my bag is waiting.

"How did he do that," I ask Christian.

"The service elevator is faster," he explains to me as he picks up my bag and carries it into his room.

"May as well put your things in here," he says to me. "You're sleeping in here again right, the same as before?"

"Um," I say thinking.

"You feel the need for a new boundary right now," he says as if reading my thoughts

"Why do you say that," I ask him.

"Every time you start to care about me, you feel the need to pull away," he tells me.

"Wha…What makes you think I care about you," I tell him defiantly crossing my arms. I hope I'm doing a good job of hiding my true feelings.

"Well now that I've said it out loud, you're biting your lip," he tells me. "And now you're blushing,"

 _Damnit!_

"Okay, you're right," I say in defeat.

"So enlighten me on this new boundary," he tells me.

"Sleeping in the same bed together…..," I start.

"No," he says before I can finish.

"No," I repeat confused.

"I call foul," he says.

"You can't call foul on us sleeping in the same bed together," I say to him.

"Watch me," he says.

"Christian," I say.

"Why don't you want to sleep with me," he asks me.

I breathe out.

"Because," I say. "I like sleeping with you."

"Why is that a problem," he asks me.

"Because it's hard... to sleep without you," I confess.

"For me too," he tells me gently. "I miss having you in my arms at night, Ana. What's the point of denying it?"

"I need to protect myself," I tell him.

"From me," he asks me.

"Yes," I tell him. "From you, from whatever the hell this pull is you have over me. Whatever it is you do that makes me feel so safe is something that I don't want to depend on too much. I am still the odd man out here."

"I'm not going anywhere, Ana," he tells me. "You don't have to protect yourself from me. I feel what you feel. Don't pull away from me on this. Besides, we're just sleeping."

"We're not just sleeping and you know it," I tell him. "We're spooning and cuddling…."

"The horror," he jokes.

I cover my face with my hands.

"Damnit, Christian," I say to him in frustration.

"Ana, we agreed not to torture ourselves remember" he says uncovering my face and taking hold of both of my hands. "Stop hiding from me."

"I'll try," I promise him.

…..

"You have the helicopter here," I ask him as we ride the elevator up to the rooftop of Escala. "Just waiting up there for you to hop into?"

"I had someone fly it over just now from Sea Tac," He explains to me.

"Impressive," I tell him and he smirks at me.

"I prefer 'wow'," he tells me and I refrain from rolling my eyes.

"Wow, then," I tell him.

"Thank you," he says to me.

The elevator doors open and he leads me to the door of the roof.

Just before I am about to go through he turns me around and zips my coat all the way up. He takes out a pair of light purple gloves from his pocket and puts them on for me.

I raise an eyebrow at him in question.

"It gets cold this high up" he explains.

He opens the rooftop door and I am instantly hit with a blast of very cold crisp autumn air which is made worse by the turning of the helicopter rotors.

"Jeezus," I say, as I instinctively turn into Christian's arms for warmth and protection against the wind and the harsh roar of the helicopter blades.

He holds me tight as he gives what looks like a sign to cut the rotors and they slow to a stop.

Waiting for us on the black asphalt landing pad is a now quiet full sized white helicopter with the Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc logo, emblazoned on the sides.

The pilot steps out and makes his way over to where Christian and I stand.

"Everything has been checked and you are good to go, Sir," he tells him.

"Thank you, Gil," Christian says in return, still holding on to me.

"Enjoy the ride, Ma'am," Gil tells me before exciting through the rooftop door.

Christian helps me in Charlie Tango and I have a sneaking suspicion he is going to do a safety check anyway.

I take a minute to look around as I hug myself now to get warm.

I am startled when Christian's face suddenly appears in the window.

"Don't touch anything," his voice comes through muffled and I more read his lips than hear his words.

I nod dramatically in understanding but I shake my head to myself because that really went without saying. Who in their right mind would start fiddling around with things in here?

It is even bigger on the inside than it actually looks. It looks like it could sit about eight people comfortably.

He goes around and sure enough he inspects every inch of Charlie Tango. Seemingly satisfied, he joins me inside, sitting in the pilot's seat.

I watch his hands work to strap me into a four point harness safety belt.

"Okay," he says to me as he pulls the straps snug.

"Great," I say to him.

He smiles at me.

He points at my "cans" and tells me to put them on. I slip on the headphones and he does the same right before strapping himself in.

I sit quietly listening while he communicates with Sea Tac and looks over the flying instruments of the helicopter. He pushes a few buttons above us and the loud rotors start to spin again.

 _I cannot believe he is about to fly this thing!_

My excitement level has risen through the roof.

"Ready," he says to me.

"I am _so_ ready," I tell him, exhilarated, with a voice that is now raised a few octaves.

Unable to control myself, I squeal at the feel of the helicopter as it lifts gracefully in the air and Escala gives way underneath us.

I cover my mouth to keep it shut and to hide my mile wide tooth filled grin.

He makes a pass around Escala like the helicopter I'd seen the first night I was there.

"This is amazing," I screech out looking at the high rise building and at the rest of Seattle below .

My voice sounds foreign to me through my can's speakers.

I look over at Christian who is tickled pink at my reaction.

"I'm glad you like it," he tells me, his smile is just as wide as mine is.

"Like it, I love it," I tell him.

"Oh my god, I have to take a selfie," I ask, knowing Jose would just be freaking out right now.

He gives me the okay and I snap a picture of myself with my cans on in the passenger seat of Charlie tango. I also take one of Christian piloting and send them to Jose.

"STOP PLAYING AROUND IN THAT DAMN THING! I'm saying six Hail Mary's for both of you right now," I say reading his text outloud.

I laugh and put my phone away.

…

We land at Pearson Field in Vancouver and a limo is waiting to take us to WSU.

"You sure know how to impress a girl," I tell him as we relax in the limo.

"How so," he tells me.

"Helicopter rides and awaiting limos and cute little purple gloves, which are quite warm by the way, thank you," I tell him.

"Always my pleasure, baby," he tells me.

"So what is this event all about," I ask him.

"At the end of every season the farming division gathers their remaining crops to have a fest, it just so happens that for this season it correlates it with the Fall Festival," he explains it to me.

"Do you like it," I ask him.

"I've never accepted the invitation," he tells me, "wasn't really my thing."

"So why now," I ask him.

"I thought I'd give it a try," he says. "Something we can experience together."

I smile at him. I like the sound of that.

"I'll call you," he tells the limo driver.

"Is he one of yours," I ask him and he nods his head yes.

"I have a few of my CPOs at the festival already," he tells me.

"Why would you need…" I begin.

"Just as precaution," he tells me quickly. "The feast is by invitation only, but the festival is open to the public."

I nod

"Don't worry," he tells me. "This is not really a paparazzi affair, baby, but we might get into the student paper."

He puts his arms around me as we walk, smiling as I laugh.

He and I enter the event grounds and we are both pleasantly surprised at how put together it is, complete with festive music and people in full costume walking on stilts.

I turn into a kid at Christmas dragging him along to look at each vender booth and to try every game.

I fall in love with a booth that has very elaborately decorated marionettes, but to win one is virtually impossible. It is the carnival ring toss game where you have to toss a very small wing onto a very large bottle.

I was still going to give it the old college try until the vender informed me that it is fifty bucks a try and I quickly decide against it.

"You can't be serious," I tell Christian, as he slaps what looks like a hundred dollar bill in the man's hand.

The man quickly pockets the bill and gives us each a ring.

"You go first, baby," Christian tells me. "Close your eyes and just toss it."

"Close my eyes," I question him and he nods.

"It works better if you can't see it," he reasons. "That way you won't sike yourself out."

"Alright," I say skeptically.

I close my eyes so tight that I squint, take a deep breath and toss the ring. I hear the metal ring hit the plastic of a bottle and I quickly open my eyes.

"I DID IT," I raise both my arms shouting in victory when I see the ring resting perfectly on the bottle. I cover my laugh when people around us cheer.

I take my sweet time examining the dolls until I find the one I want.

She is a young woman dressed in a bright multicolored seventeenth century high society dress with a black masquerade mask. Her blonde hair is elegantly done in long soft ringlets and a large feather pin of red, yellow, and turquoise to match her dress.

The vendor carefully wraps her up in bubble wrap and hands her to me.

"Aren't you going to get your fifty dollars back," I ask Christian as we walk away and he shakes his head.

Christian Grey, what did you do," I ask him.

"Did you really think I was going to let you not get that doll, Baby," he tells me.

"What am I going to do with you," I ask him.

"I'm sure you'll think of something," he tells me.

He calls one of his CPOs that comes out of nowhere. He takes the doll from me and gives it to him for safe keeping.

...

We come upon a stand that is selling mini pumpkin gingersnap ice cream sandwiches.

Christian can't believe I would want ice cream as cold as it is. I convince him to try one and he is hooked as well, we munch on the cold treats until we spot a corn maze.

Before we go in the woman at the entrance gives us both plastic whistles.

"Just in case we can't find you," she says and my face falls.

I look at Christian's amused expression and he tugs me inside the maze as she clicks her counter twice to keep track of how many people are inside.

"See this isn't so bad," Christian tells me.

We hit a dead end and have to turn around.

"Yeah well, images of Jack Nicholson at the Overlook Hotel are running through my head right now," I tell him.

He frowns at me in confusion when he doesn't get the reference.

"The Shining, with Jack Nicholson," I say to him and he still looks clueless. " The crazy guy trying to kill his own family while hobbling through a snowy maze with an axe?"

He shrugs and I sigh.

"You and me have a movie night date," I tell him.

"I can't wait," he says to me taking my hand.

We run around just him and me until I get tired and he lets me ride piggy back. I try not to laugh too much in his ear, but I haven't done this since I was a kid playing around with my dad.

He carries me through the maze until it dawns on me that we are the only two around.

"You don't think everyone has gone home and left us do you," I tell him nervously. "Maybe I should blow the whistle."

He nods with his head for me to look and I see the exit sign.

"Yeahhh," I say to him. "We did it."

"We," he says putting me down.

"I meant we in the, you, sense of the word," I tell him.

He laughs.

…..

It's time for the feast so we leave the festival and walk over.

We walk down a path that cuts through beautiful thick deciduous trees. They have a vibrant display of bright yellow, red, and orange leaves that every once in a while fall like confetti when the wind blows.

We come upon a bridge that has a nice sized running brook underneath it. A short stubby man checks our names with his list and allows us to cross.

I giggle in spite of myself.

I shake my head when Christian inquires.

I dare not tell him the image of the hungry old bridge troll in the Three Billy Goats Gruff fable has popped into my head.

I'm expecting him to jump out any minute and say "who's that trip, trip, trapping over my bridge?"

 _I guess that is the result of hanging with small children all day._

We come into a large clearing were a long dinner table is set up right in front of a large red brick fireplace.

Christian introduces me to Cameron Stamper, the head of the farming division and informs him that I teach second grade.

We talk briefly and he offers to send students up to my class to help them establish a little vegetable garden and I am very excited about the idea.

We are seated next to two elderly ladies who become instantly smitten with Christian as he charms them so effortlessly.

"You've got yourself a real nice beau, Dear," one of them tells me.

"I most certainly do, Ma'am," I agree with her.

I look over at Christian and he beams in amusement at me.

Thankfully the menu is designed to keep us warm and to stave off the chill of the breeze that the surrounding trees have created. We are served hot apple cider, hot soups, breads, and chili.

My favorite is the vegetable soup. The carrots are sweet and tender just as if they'd been picked that morning.

Christian is partial to the sweet potato and black bean chili.

He makes a production of over tasting every bite to try and figure out what's in it and I'm sure he is going to try to make it sometime soon.

I spoon some to try and help him distinguish the ingredients and he is right, it is an excellent blend of chili and vegetables.

After our feast we stand by the large fire to keep warm and mingle. Christian and I are now talking to a couple that he does business with from time to time. The husband seems to be in his early fifties, but his wife is all of about twenty one.

As cold as it is, she has her fur coat open to show her form fitting red dress that was designed to showcase her large breast.

Christian and her husband, who I now know is Heath Kline, are absorbed in a conversation about a business merger that has just been recently made public. Which leaves me stuck talking to, Courtney.

We fall into pleasant conversation about fashion. It is a subject I know little about so I just stick to the things I've learned from Jose, Derrick, and Char. She seems to be impressed with my knowledge none the less.

"You are so much more fun to talk to then Jessica," she tries to compliment me. "It's so nice to have someone my age to talk to at these things."

Heath cringes at her inappropriate, but well meaning slight, while Christian stiffens uncomfortably.

"Excuse us," Heath says to Christian as he takes Courtney away.

He begins talking animatedly to her out of our ear shot. Her platinum blonde hair bounces around her head as she chews him out in return and walks away. We watch as he runs after her.

"By the balls," I whisper to Christian and he laughs guiltily, feeling sorry for his business associate.

"You okay," he asks me.

"I should be asking you that question," I tell him.

"It's expected at these sort of things," He shakes it off as unimportant and we mingle on.

…..

"In you go, Miss," the limo driver tells me as he helps me in.

"Thank you," I tell him as I slide in.

"Did you get enough to eat," Christian asks me as we drive off the grounds.

"Yes," I tell him touching my stomach with the palms of my hands. "Between yesterday and today, I think I've gained about twenty pounds."

"It seems to have gone to all the right places," Christian says to me.

I look at him and he quickly raises his stare from my breast to look me.

I want to say something smart but the look I see in his eyes takes my breath away and whatever it was I wanted to say is forever lost.

He takes his index finger, pushes a button, and closes the privacy window blocking the drive's view.

"Mmmm," I moan as he kisses me.

"I've been dying to do this since we got here," he confesses to me. "It's so hard not to kiss you when I've been so close to you all day."

His words make me bold.

"Mmmmmm," he says as I grab the back of his head and pull him into me.

"It's hard for me too," I confess to him after we come up for air.

"I want more, Ana," he tells me.

"More," I ask him.

"Yes, much more. And soon we will have it," he tells me. "In a few months, we won't have to wait anymore. The moment that divorce decree is in my hands, I am going to make love to you, and every minute of every day after that."

…

 **Christian's POV**

I go to kiss her again, but she pulls away.

"Ana," I call to her and she looks up at me.

 _Shit! I just fucked up._

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Sorry for the delay, but I hurt my wrist and it is kicking my butt right now. I'm just pecking away at the keyboard though, one little key at a time lol. I will try to update again this week, but no promises.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	20. That Type Of More

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty**

 **That Type Of More**

 **...**

 **Christian's POV**

I go to kiss her again, but she pulls away.

"Ana," I call to her and she looks up at me.

 _Shit, I just fucked up._

"Ana," I call to her again. "That was a dumb thing to say."

"No it was fine," she tells me.

"Ana," I start to apologize for bringing up the divorce, especially on the heels of Courtney and her big mouth.

"Christian please can we not talk about it," she begs. "We're having such a good time. Let's not ruin things with talking."

"But we will talk," I tell her. "Later."

She nods her head yes and I let it go.

...

I strap her into Charlie Tango and we take off for home.

She looks out of the window trying to see something beyond the darkness of the night's sky.

"How do you know we are going in the right direction," she asks me through her cans.

"The gauges let me know where we are," I tell her.

She takes a look at them trying to decipher what they all mean.

"I'll just leave it all to you, then," she tells me, giving up and I laugh.

I was nervous about bringing her up in Charlie Tango.

I really wanted her to like being up here with me, not that her not liking it would have been any type of deal breaker, but I'm overjoyed that she loves it as much as I do.

It's always been just me and the twins up here, but now with Ana eventually joining us, it makes it a lot more fun.

The lights of Seattle appear before us. She loves the view and I couldn't agree more.

Her eyes closed when Escala comes up directly underneath us and I sit Charlie Tango down gently on top of the building. She opens her eyes when the engine shuts off and breathes out in relief.

…..

She grabs her pajamas and carefully packs away her Marionette before she heads off to the guest room to shower. I do the same in my room.

I take a minute to check in with Anderson about the twins and he assures me all is quiet.

I shower, throw on my dark blue pajamas and wait for Ana.

I go in search of her when she takes a bit too long and I find her sitting on the edge of the bed in the guest room lost in thought. She is now freshly showered and wearing her pink and gray pajamas.

"Don't pull away, Ana," I ask of her as I enter the room.

"I won't," she tells me, looking up at me. "I'm not."

"I'm sorry," I tell her. "That was a real stupid thing to say. I shouldn't have brought up the divorce."

"Christian," she starts. "I don't want you to feel you have to walk on egg shells around me about things going on in your life. I know the divorce is on your mind. It's not an easy thing to go through no matter the circumstance and you can talk to me about it. You can even talk to me about Jess if you want, preferably not when we're making out."

She chuckles at me.

"Fair enough," I chastise myself at my timing. "If that's not what's bothering you, then can you tell me what is?"

"You said you want more from me than just kissing," she tells me.

I nod my head yes.

"I'm not ready for that type of more," she tells me quietly. "And I don't know if I'll even be ready in a few months."

She looks down to study her hands that are folded in her lap.

 _I am such an idiot_

"Baby," I walk over to her and place my hand under her chin. I lift her head up to make her look at me. "I would never want you to do anything you're not comfortable with or not ready for."

"Christian," she says to me. "I don't know when or even if I'll ever be ready and you deserve more than that."

"We're waiting now," I tell her. "I can wait until you're ready, Ana."

She shakes her head negatively.

"There is something you should know. I…um…" she struggles to find the words.

"You're a virgin," I say it for her and she frowns.

"What," she squeaks out.

"Chuck, kind of let it slip, "I tell her as I sit down next to her.

"Chuck told you that? What else did he let slip," she asks me, emphasizing the word slip to show her annoyance with both he and I.

"Just that you had a rough time in life like I did and he thinks we will be good at relating to each other," I tell her.

"Because of your scars," she asks me.

"That wasn't what Chuck was referring to, but yes because of those too," I tell her.

"What was he referring to," she asks me. Her curiosity piqued.

"We are getting off the subject," I tell her. "This is supposed to be about you talking to me."

"Right," she says.

"So talk to me," I ask her.

"I've been seeing Brandon a lot lately," she tells me.

"Because of me," I ask her and she nods.

"I don't know if you noticed, but I am a very cautious person," she tells me and I smirk at her remembering the orchids incident.

"Right," she says. "Well you may have also notice how easily you've managed to penetrate my walls."

"Muh…my defenses, I mean," she clarifies as her face flames.

"Yes," I tell her. "Happily, I've noticed, but I wish I knew why you had them up in the first place."

She visibly shivers.

"Baby, are you cold," I ask her, putting my arms around her and rubbing her arms to create enough friction to warm her.

"No, but can we get under the covers anyway," she asks me.

I take her hand and lead her back to my room

I hold her tight, with her back to me in bed. My head is propped up by my bent arm and resting on the palm of my hand, as I try to study her face from behind.

"Please talk to me, Ana," I beseech her, as she lays quiet. "You told me you trusted someone once and it was a mistake."

"Christian," she tells me shaking her head.

"Ana, please," I ask her again. "I'm going crazy not knowing. I have theories that are swimming around in my head and none of them are good. I know you're scared, I can't help you not to be when I don't know what you're afraid of."

"Travis Carson," she whispers to me. "He was my boyfriend. I met him when I moved to Montesano to live with Ray my junior year of high school. My mom's new boyfriend was acting a little too affectionate towards me and she didn't like the fact that he was more into being with me than he was her. She sent me away to eliminate her competition. Can you believe that she actually thought I was leading him on?"

I squeeze her just a bit too tight and it causes her to shift a bit.

"Sorry, baby," I tell her as I loosen my hold.

"It's okay," she tells me.

"Ana, did he touch you...," I start to ask.

"No," she tells me quickly and I release the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"You couldn't live with your dad," I ask her.

"He fought for custody of me when I was younger, but he was deemed unfit," she tells me. "His PTSD made him hallucinate and he would react violently sometimes if you caught him off guard. When I would visit him, he would wake me up in the middle of the night and we would go on these military missions. I thought we were playing a game until I got older and realized he was serious. I was never afraid of him though."

She laughs fondly at the memory.

"I didn't fit in at my new school," she continues, "until Travis noticed me. He was very popular and the girls hated me for being with him. They couldn't figure out what he saw in me. When he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was so excited. Everything was great at first between us. But then it wasn't. He was a senior and the closer he got to graduation the worse he became. His father was putting a lot of pressure on him about getting into Ivy League colleges. He knew if he messed up there would be hell to pay. His father was a tyrant of man. He didn't approve of him seeing me which added to his stress."

She stopped and inhaled deeply.

"Our relationship became all about him and keeping him happy. He was always angry about something and most of that anger was aimed at me," she tells me. "He abused me emotionally. I could never do anything right enough for him. He would demean me. Call me names to make me feel worthless. I was just a daughter of a psycho and a slut and I should be down on my knees thanking him for giving me the time of day."

"It's okay, Baby," I tell her, gently holding her while she to cries.

"God, I don't know why I told him about me and my parents," she says angrily. "He just used it to manipulate me. One day, I had done something exceptionally stupid and I really pissed him off. He hit me. He left a huge bruise on my cheek and gave me a black eye."

"Son of a bitch," I say before I can stop myself.

"That's exactly what Ray said," she laughs. "There was no hiding it from him and when he saw it, he went ballistic. He didn't tell my dad, thank God. Dad wouldn't have had any qualms about killing Travis. Ray called his buddies at the police department, but I didn't cooperate with them. I couldn't let something like that go on Travis's record, it would have ruined everything for him and I still loved him. He'd told me how sorry he was and swore he would never do it again. I wanted to protect him. God, how pathetic was I?"

"Not pathetic, baby," I tell her. "He's the one that took advantage of you and your feelings for him."

"Ray agreed to let it go if I agreed never to see Travis again," she tells me. "He had already graduated by this time and I was a senior, so it wasn't that hard to comply, at least on my part. The longer I was away from him and started having my own life, the more I saw our relationship for how damaged it was. I started making new friends and hanging out with this great guy, Owen."

She stops and shifts closer to me.

"Owen and I were lab partners," she continues on. "He would spend a lot of time after school at my house and we quickly became friends. Travis hated him. He hated losing control of me, let alone seeing me with another boy. He began to show up everywhere I went demanding that I talk to him. Owen and my other friends were always there to protect me and keep me away from him, but he never gave up. It got to the point where I hated going anywhere because I knew he'd be there to mess everything up. He became obsessed with getting me back."

"He stalked you," I ask her but she doesn't answer.

"Ana," I call to her.

"Christian, please," she tells me. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay, baby, it's okay," I tell her when she begins to tremble, lost in her memories. "Ana, can you just tell me? Is that the worst of it?"

She shakes her head no and my blood runs cold.

"Where is he now," I ask her. "Is he still a threat to you?"

She doesn't answer.

"Baby, I can protect you…" I start.

"He's dead," she tells me, sadly. "He killed himself."

"Ana," I start.

"Just hold me Christian," she asks of me.

I kiss her shoulder, bury my nose in her hair and hold her close.

I try to shut my mind off, but it is racing a mile a minute trying to digest everything she just told me and everything she didn't. It's worse than I imagined and she admits that's not even the worst of it.

 _What the hell did this bastard do to her? I need to find out more about this Travis fucking Carson. Dead or not she's still afraid and I need to know why._

"Christian," she says to me.

"Hmm," I answer her, trying not to sound furious, but failing miserably.

She turns in my arms to face me.

"I had a wonderful time today," she says. "Thank you for my Marionette and the helicopter ride was wonderful."

I smile at her effort of trying to put something else on my mind before I go to sleep.

"Anytime, Baby," I tell her. "Remember we still have a movie night date." I return the favor.

She nods her head as she wraps her arm around my waist. Her head is in the crook of my neck as she snuggles up close getting comfortable. I smile, pleased, when I see she means to stay facing me. I kiss her forehead and comb my fingers through her hair to move it off of her face. I continue to play with the soft thick strands until she drifts off asleep.

I follow suit, silently thanking God above that she trusts me this much as I drift off to sleep with her in my arms.

…..

 **Saturday November 28, 2015**

 **Christian's POV**

I wake before sunrise to find Ana cuddled into me still sleeping soundly. I disengage myself from her slowly so not to wake her.

I kiss her gently before I head to my office and leave her to sleep.

I pick up my phone three times to call Welch, my security advisor for a check on Travis Carson, but in the end I decide against it. How can I ask Ana to trust me when the minute she does I go digging around behind her back.

Instead, I clear my mind by answering a few emails and checking in with Anderson about the twins.

I go to the great room and look out at the dark heavy clouds that threaten rain.

 _Today was made for snuggling up on a movie date._

I head to my bedroom to look in on Ana. I sit next to her on the bed and watch her sleep until she begins to stir.

"Good morning," I whisper to her when her eyes flutter open.

"Good morning," she says to me.

"How did you sleep," I ask her, trying to gauge her mood.

"Wonderfully," she answers me and yawns with a sigh to let me know she's not done sleeping.

I get back in bed with her and she falls easily into my arms and right back to sleep.

...

I wake up with Ana nowhere in sight. I head to the great room and spot her outside on the balcony as the rain gently falls around her.

"Baby, what in the world are you doing out there," I call to her from the door and she turns to look at me. She is starting to get wet and she doesn't have on anything but her pajamas.

"I'm enjoying the rain," she tells me. "Everything looks amazing from up her. Come and see."

 _She has lost her mind_.

I shake my head in disbelief, but I still go out to join her and now I stand getting wet in nothing but my pajamas.

"How could you not live on this balcony," she asks me as she looks out at a wet Seattle.

I look around and smile as if I am seeing it for the first time myself since I don't usually venture out onto the balcony.

The rain starts to come down heavy and she makes a move to go back inside.

She giggles when I take her in my arms and hold her as the rain soaks us.

"What is it about you that has me acting this way," I ask her. "I've never played around in the rain or splashed around in waterfalls or wandered aimlessly through corn mazes."

"I can ask you the same question," she says to me. "You have me doing things I never dreamed I would."

"Does it frighten you, "I ask her.

"No," she tells me, "just the opposite, but…."

I cup her face and press my lips to hers as the heavy droplets of rain fall splatter in-between us.

"I never want more than what you are willing to give me, Ana," I tell her.

"I just don't know yet, what I'm capable of giving," she tells me.

"Can we figure it out together," I ask her.

She smiles relieved.

"I'd like that," she tells me.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I hope you all enjoyed the Fall because Winter will bring in the cold.**

 **Have a great weekend everyone!**

 **Thank you for reading, favoriting, following, and reviewing.**


	21. Movie Date

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty-One**

 **Movie Date**

 **...**

 **Christian's POV**

"Are you comfortable, baby," I ask her as I absentmindedly rub her forearm with the balls of my fingers.

"Very. I could get use to this," Ana tells me as we lay stretched out on the oversized couch in the media room with a cornucopia of snacks to keep us busy as we watch movies.

A big bowl of popcorn is tucked in the crook of my arm for her and me to shove handfuls of it in our mouths.

Ironically it's those times I decide to talk and more popcorn falls around us than it gets in us as I ask questions and she tries to answer them.

She swears I would get kicked out of a movie theater with all of my yapping and yelling at the screen.

I can't help it if these movie people make such asinine choices, that I feel a strong need to yell out a correction to them.

We started with the scary movies first. We watched The Shining, since she mentioned it yesterday and I now see that corn maze in a whole new light.

After ten minutes of debating on why the hell that hotel wasn't just boarded up for the winter after the first caretaker killed his family from cabin fever and the fact that Wendy and little Danny should have sued them up the ass, while the Native Americans reclaimed their sacred burial ground, we moved on.

After watching The Ring, without a word, I deleted that scary shit from the movie list, before the twins happened upon it, and moved on.

We've switch to romantic comedy which for her means anything with Matthew McConaughey in it, so we've settled for How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, which is a complete chick flick and I am surprised Matthew would be associated with this shit, but Ana likes it and that's good enough for me.

She is tucked between me and the couch with her head resting on my chest and her arm thrown around my stomach.

"I could get use to this too," I tell her now, kissing the top of her head and she giggles.

"I meant the big screen television," she teases me.

"Right," I laugh. "I knew that."

She tries to doze off but every time she does a crackle of thunder wakes her up.

She smacks my chest with the palm of her hand when she feels me shaking, trying to hide my laughing at her.

"I don't why I sleep so much when I'm with you," she sighs comfortably and yawns.

"Maybe I'm too boring for you," I tell her.

"Not at all," she tells me, not liking that I would think that.

"Maybe you just feel relaxed with me," I say to her, hopeful.

"I think that's it," she agrees, liking that idea much better. "I don't feel that relaxed much when I'm by myself."

I do not like the sound of that. The thought of her being uneasy in her own home is abhorrent to me.

"Having Jose across the hall helps a lot though," she tells me.

"Well thank God for Jose," I tell her and she laughs. "I need to put him and Derrick on my Christmas list."

"Oh they are not at all hard to please," she tells me.

"What about you," I ask her. "I meant to pick your brain in Charlie Tango but I got side tracked by squeals and selfies."

She laughs.

"Well I'm not hard to please either," she tells me. "But you on the other hand, what do you give the man who has everything?"

"I'm far from being that man," I tell her. "And I've never met a gift I didn't like."

"Does your family go big on Christmas," she asks me.

"It is the one holiday that we Greys take to the extreme," I tell her and she laughs. "My parent's house in Bellevue rivals Sea Tac's runway by the time they are done putting up all the lights and decorations."

"Make sure to take a picture of it for me," she tells me.

"I will," I tell her sadly, knowing that I won't get to spend Christmas with her this year. "What about you?"

"Ray and I are going to LA to be with my dad," she tells me. "Sometimes we go up to the mountains and rent a cabin there, but I'm not sure if we'll do that this year."

Shit, I didn't realize she would be in another fucking state for Christmas.

"When are you leaving for LA," I ask her, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"As soon as winter break starts," she tells me. "I plan on being back in time to ring in the New Year here though."

"That long," I tell her getting up to face her, placing the now nearly empty popcorn bowl on the coffee table. "Baby, that's two whole weeks!"

I sigh when she bites her lip in thought.

"I know," I tell her. "I know you have other people besides me who want to spend time with you. I'm just..."

I breathe out frustrated.

"I'm going to miss you too," she tells me as we settle back down on the couch.

The movie all but forgotten as I am lost in thought. I can barely stay away from her overnight let alone two damn weeks!

 _I'm going to have to arrange a few business trips in LA._

I think better of that. The last thing she needs is my ass popping up on her when she's trying to spend time with her dads. I'll have to think of another way to connect with her.

"Do you skype," I ask her suddenly when it pops into my head.

"I use to with Ray and Dad, but my computer crashed and I haven't replaced it yet," she explains to me.

"I'll get you another one so we can skype," I tell her.

"Christian," she begins. "You can't just keep upgrading my technology. It is much too expensive."

"My motives are purely selfish," I tell her.

"How so," she asks me.

"I like talking to you," I tell her honestly. "And it's simple enough for me to make it happen."

"Doesn't make it right," she tells me.

"Why is it wrong," I ask her. "If it was Charlotte or Jose who offered, would you accept?"

"Heck yeah," she tells me and I laugh.

"Well think of it that way," I tell her.

"It's different," she tells me, "mainly because I don't like when Char or Jose stick their tongues in my mouth."

"Good point, well made, Baby," I tell her. "And I'm happy to hear that. But I'm still getting you one."

"Somehow I thought you might," she tells me.

"It is settled then," I say, ending the discussion as I kiss her head.

"The Ramsey's are having a party. Is your family having a party for new years," she asks me.

I shake my head no.

"You should come with me then," she says excited and I smile, loving the idea. "You probably want to spend it with the twins though."

"I'm not sure how we'll handle the holidays this year," I tell her and she nods in understanding. "Can I let you know?"

"Of course," she tells me. "But if you come with me, I have to warn you. Chuck usually fills up my dance card all for himself."

I laugh.

"Well," I say. "I just might enjoy stepping on the old guys toes."

…

 **Ana's POV**

"Don't let him sense your fear, he'll feed off of it," Christian tells me and my eyes go wide. "I'm only kidding."

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," I tell him as he puts Wilfred in my cupped hands.

He sits still enough, eyeing me the way I am him. His cute little pink nose is working overtime trying to decide if I'm friend or foe.

"He is so cute," I tell Christian as I hold him while he cleans out his cage. His little sticky suction cup feet are tickling the palms of my hands. "Phoebe really holds him?"

"She sure does," he tells me. "She has him tamed quite well."

I have to admit. He seems very gentle as rats go, I guess.

"Now that wasn't so bad was it," he tells me as he takes him and puts him back in his cage and I shake my head no.

I wash my hands and join him in the kitchen for lunch.

"What are we making," I ask when I see his counter filled with ingredients.

"Spaghetti and meatballs," he tells me.

I look around for the jar of sauce to put it on and all I see are fresh tomatoes.

"You're making the sauce yourself," I ask him and he smiles at me.

"Yep," she says proud of himself.

I was about to say I'm impressed but think better about it.

"Wow," I say his preferred phrase instead and he laughs. "I guess you've graduated from the simple dishes?"

"This is still simple enough," he tells me. "But Mia and my house manager, Gail have been very patient in teaching me."

"What made you want to learn," I ask him.

"The truth," he ask me and I nod yes.

"Always," I tell him.

"When Jess left," he starts and looks at me to see if I'm okay with him continuing. "The twins and I were….lost for lack of a better way of putting it."

"Aside from the obvious reasons, why," I ask him.

"I was not a hands-on kind of dad," he explains as he cuts the tomatoes and place them in a sauce pan.

I go to work on cutting the bell peppers.

"I loved them more than anything of course and I would have done anything for them but often times I wasn't a part of their day to day routine," he tells me. "No helping with homework or tucking them in at night or any of that."

"Until Jess left," I ask him and he nods.

"It forced me to step up and reprioritize my life," he tells me. "A part of that was me cooking for my kids. It started out with Sunday breakfast. Once I got the hang of it, I started liking it and the kids love when I cook for them."

He says it almost surprised.

"Who knew," he says.

"Well I love reaping the benefits of your discovery," I tell him. "You and Jess are doing an amazing job as parents. Teddy and Phoebe are very well rounded."

"Is that a teacher's politically correct way of saying they aren't spoiled brats," he asks me.

"No," I laugh. "But they are not, by the way."

We make quick work of making the meal and sit at the dining table to enjoy it.

"Mmmm this is excellent," I tell Christian between mouthfuls of a piece of meatball and spaghetti.

"What," I say when he stares at me.

"I love listening to you eat," he tells me.

"Listening," I repeat, mortified at the thought of being a weird eater.

"You make these soft little moans of pleasure," he tells me. "It's uh, very, nice."

"Nice," I say to him.

"Nice to know that you enjoy my cooking," he elaborates on his meaning.

"Right," I say to him and he smiles slyly at me.

I clear my throat and take a sip of my red wine.

….

The rain finally lets up and I take the chance to drive home.

"You know you could stay another night," Christian tells me as we say our goodbyes at the elevator. Reynolds has already taken my bag down to my car.

"And run the risk of you getting sick of me, no way," I tease him.

"No chance of that, baby," he assures me. "I can't get enough of being with you."

"Good to know," I tell him, giving him what was meant to be a quick kiss on the lips before it turned deep.

"Mmmm," he moan when I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I can't get enough of that either," he tells me when we break for air.

"Good to know," I tell him again as I step into the elevator.

"Let me know you made it home safely," he asks of me.

"I will," I tell him and blow him a kiss as the elevator doors close.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I smile when I get Ana's text that she's made it home safe and sound.

I prattle around the penthouse for a few hours, bored with myself until I resolve to sit down and get some work done in my home office.

I dawdle around on the computer under the guise of work.

I manage to check a couple of emails and correspond with Ros. She sends me pictures of baby Tyler who, with the exception of Teddy and Andy, has to be the cutest little guy I've ever seen.

For the first time in a long time, the thought of Andy makes me smile.

I reach over for the picture I have on my desk.

Jess sent it to me on my cell while I was away on a business trip in Singapore. The twins and Andy are all asleep in our bed. Phoebe is in the middle while her brothers are on either side of her. It is my favorite picture of the three of them together. They look so peaceful, safe and snug in bed.

I give up trying to get any work done and head out to the great room. The rain has given way to a beautiful evening.

I venture onto the balcony to look out at the view of Seattle as the sun sinks lower in the sky and the city lights begin to shine.

I sigh deeply.

I guess the rain has put me in a foul mood, although I was feeling great when it was raining earlier.

Who am I kidding?

I'm already missing Ana and it's only been a few hours. How the hell am I going to survive without her for a whole damn two weeks?

I email Andrea to set me up with an appointment to see Flynn first thing Monday morning. He is the perfect person to help me hammer out this shit I'm feeling.

"Sir," Reynolds comes out and interrupts my thoughts.

"What is it," I ask him.

"Anderson has tried to reach you on your cell. He's bringing Phoebe home," he tells me. "Ryan has already relived him of his post."

I go to my office and call Anderson.

"What's wrong," I ask him.

"Not really sure, Sir," he tells me. "Everyone is upset, but no one is talking."

"What about Teddy," I ask him. "He wants to stay with his mom. Ryan is with him."

...

I hear the elevator ping and I go out to find only Anderson.

"Where is she," I ask him.

"She ran as soon as the elevator opened up, Sir," he tells me.

"Well what the hell happened," I demand to know.

"Mrs. Grey was visibly upset and so were the twins, but no one would tell me why," he tells me. "She said that it was a misunderstanding and that she'd taken care of it."

"Were the kids fighting," I ask him even though I know the answer. They may bicker and tease, but rarely do they fight.

"They weren't mad with each other," he confirms. "They were comforting each other as though they just got some bad news. They all had the same distraught reaction."

I go in search of Phoebe, hoping to get answers as to what's going on with her.

I find her where she always goes when she is upset, in her and Teddy's own little corner of our library. It's a kid's nook decorated with different shades of greens, yellows, and maroons.

"Hey Babydoll," I greet her as I sit next to her.

"Hi," she says to me quietly without looking up from her book.

"Anderson said you missed being home with Daddy," I ask her.

"Uh huh," she says to me nodding her head vigorously.

"Did something happen over at mommy's house to make you miss Daddy," I ask her and she nods.

"Can you tell Daddy," I ask her. "Maybe I can help."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Anderson appear in the doorway.

What she said next nearly stops my heart from beating and puts Anderson on high alert.

"That mean man scared me," she whispers as if telling me a secret.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	22. Daddy Lion

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty-Two**

 **Daddy Lion**

 **...**

 **Christian's POV**

"Did something happen over at mommy's house to make you miss Daddy," I ask her and she nods.

"Can you tell Daddy," I ask her. "Maybe I can help."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Anderson appear in the doorway.

What she said next nearly stops my heart from beating and puts Anderson on high alert.

"That mean man scared me," she whispers as if telling me a secret.

I look over at Anderson in question and he shakes his head to tell me there was no contact with anyone.

Marcelo Anderson has been the Twin's body guard since they were two years old and he is extremely protective of them.

"Did you see the mean man," I ask her as I text Ryan to put him on red alert status and to bring Teddy and Jess here to the penthouse.

She shakes her head no as he confirms the email.

"He called mommy," she tells me.

"Did you talk to him, Babydoll," I ask her and she nods.

"I was playing my Barbie dress-up game on mommy's phone," she says.

"And you answered her call," I finish for her.

"Am I in trouble," she asks looking up at me.

"No, Babydoll," I tell her. "I just need to know what happened."

"He yelled at me real bad," she tells me. "He said mommy was a….um…he said a bad word and he said that if she keeps acting like a…um... He was going to have to and knock more sense into her."

"What else, Babydoll," I ask her to continue, keeping my voice as even as possible.

I feel my fingernails start to dig into the palms of my hands. I unclench my fist before they draw blood.

"He said he is going to marry mommy and be my new daddy and if I didn't want him to take mommy away, I better get her to act like she is suppose to, or else…" she stops.

"Or else what, Phoebe," I ask her.

"Or else he and mommy would go away again like before and she wouldn't come back because she doesn't really love us anyway," she starts to cry.

"He said mommy is bad," she continues. "He said she did naughty things with him and that's why you don't love her anymore. He said mommy needs to be punished."

Red is all I see as my anger boils over.

"I don't think mommy is bad," she tells me.

"Your mommy is not bad and she loves you and your brother very much," Anderson tells her.

He takes over talking to her as I am unable.

Ryan comes in with Teddy and Phoebe runs to hug her brother for comfort.

"Where is she," I ask Ryan.

"She refused to come, Sir," he tells me

"Stay with them," I bark at Ryan and Anderson.

"Mr. Grey," Anderson calls after me.

He is tall and fit enough to run after two seven year olds all day, but he is no match in keeping up with a pissed off me.

I see him throw his hands up, then run his fingers through his black hair in frustration at me, much like Taylor would right about now, as the elevator doors close in his face.

…

I haul ass over to Jess's place and pound on her door so loud it gets the attention of her elderly neighbor who comes out to see what the matter is.

I give her a quick nod and she goes back inside, only to peek out of her now drawn curtain.

The door opens and I walk in just in time to see Jess's retreating back head to her living room couch.

"When did you pick that nasty habit back up," I spit out at her as she sits curled up with a disgusting smelling cigarette in one hand and a coffee mug in the other.

"You sure didn't take long," she tells me, ignoring my question. "I was hoping for a phone call. But I guess I get the pleasure of being chewed out in person."

I hold my hand up to stop her from talking.

"Are you fucking serious," I ask her.

She shrugs unfazed.

"Do you know the calamity I just left back at the penthouse," I tell her. "My kids….YOUR kids are clinging to each other for dear life right now."

"You are overreacting, Christian." she tells me, shaking her head in exhasperation as she puts out her cigarette in the ashtray. "I knew you would. You always do."

"Is that why you told them to keep your crazy ass ex harassing you a secret from me and Anderson," I accuse her. "Are you telling them to keep things from me? Tell me you are not fucking doing that Jessica?"

"No, I wouldn't do that," she says feigning insult. "Not in the way you make it sound. I just thought I could handle it myself."

"Handle it," I yell, "how? By ignoring it? By letting your kids become exposed to it?"

I pace the floor. My eyes never leaving her as she sits stoic with her legs tucked underneath her and her hair an um-combed mess on her head. She is only interested in the black liquid of her coffee cup.

"All this time, I was sending them over here to this shit," I ask her. "I fucking trusted you! You are their mother for fucks sake!"

"How dare you," she looks up at me angrily, finally coming to life. "I didn't know Phoebe was going to pick up the phone!"

"Now it's her fault that the son of a bitch scared her," I ask her.

"That is not what I said," she tells me as she sits her coffee cup down next to the ashtray on the coffee table. "I just wasn't thinking that she would answer it. I hate that Rob upset her and he feels awful about it."

"He does, does he," I spit at her.

"He was just upset with me," she tells me. "He says stupid things when he's like that. Once he calms down and realizes what he's done, he is very apologetic for it."

"Are you telling me you let that bastard apologize to Phoebe," I ask her.

"I wouldn't do that," she tells me. "We agreed to keep our relationships away from the kids."

"No," I correct her. "I told you to keep HIM away from the kids."

"And I agreed," she tells me. "He didn't know the kids were here this weekend."

"I cannot believe you are making excuses for the bastard," I tell her. "Do you care at all that he scared you daughter to death? That she is at home now crying her eyes out because of that jackass?

"Yes, I care," she yells at me. "I would never want to upset her. I hate that she was afraid, but she is a sensitive girl, you know that. If you continue to reinforce it…"

"FUCK YOU," I spit at her. "I'm not reinforcing shit! I am protecting my daughter!"

"She is _our_ daughter," she tells me. "And there is nothing to protect her from. It was a phone call that she accidently picked up."

"Does he knock you around Jess," I accuse her.

"What," she asks me turning paler than she already is.

"Does he knock sense into you," I repeat what he said to Phoebe. "If you think I'm going to let the twins come back over here with that going on, You. Are. Fucking. Crazy!"

"Why are you blaming me for this," she tells me. "I didn't ask for this Christian. I know the kids are upset. Do you think I'm proud of that? I didn't know he was going to call. We are trying to work things out…."

"Work things out," I repeat. "I thought you ended it?"

"I changed my mind," she tells me. "Look, what I do and who I see is none of your business, Christian. You are not the only one who gets to have a life!"

"Have a life? Is that what that is? Look at you, you are a mess," I yell at her. "Did you even shower today?"

"Fuck you, Christian," she balks. "This is MY home and I will look any way I goddamn well please!"

"Is this the best you can do," I ask her. "For that matter, is he the best you can do? I know damn well he's not."

"He is what I need right now," she tells me.

"You need someone to knock sense into Jess," I ask her.

She takes a deep breath.

"That is a low blow, Christian," she tells me. "And none of your damn business. You made that _perfectly_ clear the last I saw you."

"I also made it perfectly clear that I care about the mother of my children," I remind her. "What happens to you directly affects them and that directly affects me. Surely you can see that after today?"

"I don't need a lecture in parenting from you," she bites back. "I raised those kids for SIX YEARS with little help from you, and I think I did pretty damn well!"

"No doubt," I concede her point. "But what the hell is happening right now? The Jess I use to know would be leading the charge against anyone who dared threaten her kids. Now, I don't know."

"Don't take them away from me Christian," she begs for the twins. "I couldn't survive it."

"This is not about what YOU can survive," I tell her. "You will not use the kids as you Goddamn crutch. You get enough of that from Rob. That bastard just threatened your seven year old daughter so bad that she's clingy to her brother right now!"

"I fucked up okay, I know," she cries. "I forgot to tell him that the kids were here. He just thought I was ignoring him. Don't take the kids away. They are all I have left."

"I'm not taking them away, but I sure as hell am not going to allow them to be placed in dangerous situations," I tell her.

"He can be very intimidating," she says. "But he's not dangerous. He's hurting like me Christian."

"Has he ever hit you," I ask her.

"No, no. I swear. He just threatens to," she tells. "Only when he's drunk .…"

"Jesus Christ," I say in contempt. "He is still drinking after what happened with his family? Why are you still with this guy?"

"I love him," she exclaims.

"Bull shit," I call her on it.

"He's all the man I have, okay," she tells me. "I can't be alone, Christian. I hate being alone. I don't have anybody! There is nobody that cares about me, but him. I'm a burden to my parents. My sister has her own life and now you have one too. I have no one but Rob. I know he loves me. He gets angry sometimes, but I know he does."

I take a deep cleansing breath to calm down.

"The kids are not coming back here..." I start.

"Christian…"she begins.

"LET ME FINISH," I yell at her, clearly the breath didn't work. "The kids are not coming back here until I neuter this asshole. I'm going to send Welch over here to talk to you. You are going to tell him every fucking thing he needs to know Jess! We need to figure out the best way to get rid him..."

"No, I am not getting rid of him," she tells me. "You are no longer the boss of me, Christian. I do not have to bow down to you anymore. You don't want me, I accept that, but you are not going to stop me from being with someone else."

"Is that what you think I'm doing right now," I ask her. "Is that all you are taking from this?"

"I choose who I want in my life, not you," she tells me. "I will not give you back control over me. I will not be here alone while you're off enjoying who ever the hell you're with."

"You know what, Jess," I tell her putting up my hands in surrender. "You're right. You ARE FUCKING RIGHT! You want to be with that asshole when I'm done with him, knock yourself out."

"What are you going to do," she asks me, alarm now marring her face. "Don't do anything you're going to regret."

"None of your damn business," I tell her. "You don't control me anymore either, Jess."

"Christian, wait, leave him alone," she says.

"You should have told him that," I tell her.

I walk out without another word.

...

My whole body is shaking with fury as I get into my car. I pick up my phone and dial.

"Hi," she answers my call and I instantly relax.

"Hey, baby," I breathe out.

"You okay," she ask me.

"Not really, but I am feeling better now," I tell her. "What are you up to?"

"I am getting ready to go to the Ramsey's for dinner," she tells me. "Apparently I've been missed. It seems the gray eyed Adonis has been occupying all of my time. That's Jose's latest description of you, by the way. GEA is your new title."

I laugh.

"Is that right," I ask her.

"Oh yes," she tells me. "And I approve of that description."

"Good to know," I tell her.

"Christian, is there anything I can do," she asks me.

"You did it, Baby," I tell her. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," she says to me, sadly.

"Christian," she calls my name before I hang up.

"Yeah," I say her.

"I uh..." she struggles.

"Me too," I tell her.

"Talk to you later," she says.

"Laters baby," I tell her.

I hang up and dial again

"Robert Rogers," I tell Barney when he answers his phone. "I need you to track him and tell me where the bastard is right now."

I hang up before he can say a word and within ten minutes he sends me an address.

…

 **Anderson's POV**

"Alright let's have a little talk you two," I tell the twins as they sit in the dining room finishing up their snacks.

"Is Daddy mad at us, Marcy," Teddy asks me.

"I know for a fact your daddy is not mad at you or your mom," I tell them. "He is just trying to make sure that everything is okay."

"I wanted to stay with mom to protect her," Teddy tells me.

"I know you did buddy," I tell him. "Your mother and sister are very lucky to have you looking out for them. Now, I need both of you to listen to me very carefully okay?"

They nod as they pay close attention.

"A big part of protecting each other and your mom and dad is by letting me know if someone is scaring you so that I can help protect you too," I tell them. "Do you understand?"

They nod.

"We're sorry we didn't tell, Marcy," Phoebe tells me. "We didn't want to get in trouble."

"I know, Princess," I tell her. "Now you both know how important a promise is right?"

They nod.

"Dad says if you promise something, you have to keep your word," Teddy says.

"That's right," I tell them. "Now I need you both to promise that if someone scares you, no matter who it is, you'll tell me, or Taylor, or your dad, even if you're just a little bit scared. Can you promise good old Marcy that?"

"We promise," they both say to me.

"Even if you think you might get in trouble," I clarify.

"We promise," they both say again.

"Good," I tell them.

"I love you, Marcy," Phoebe says giving me a hug.

"I love you too, Princess," I tell her, "both of you."

Teddy smiles at me.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I pull my SUV in front of the run down car dealership and stroll inside.

I head to the glass office building where I see the fucker on the phone.

"Don't worry about the lion, Sweetheart," I hear him say with his back to me as I lean in the doorway. "You and I belong together. I told you that the last time I tracked you down. No one is going to keep us apart. No one loves you the way I do. You know that right?"

"Who you got on the phone there, Rob," I ask him.

He swirls around in his office chair so fast the phone cord recoils and it falls out of his hand.

"Christian Grey," he says in surprise as he hangs the phone up. "As I live and breathe."

"Not for long," I tell him.

"What do I owe the pleasure," he tells me.

"You threatened my daughter," I tell him.

"Oh that," he waves it off. "I was just teasing her, getting to know her a little bit. We are going to be family after all. I didn't know she was so sensitive."

"You do realize that it's over for you," I tell him. "In another hour I will own this shit hole and the other one you have in Spokane."

"I won't sell," he tells me.

"I don't need you to," I sneer at him.

"Your car is mine, your bank accounts are now frozen, I would have taken your house, but since you're living with your mother, I decided to spare the poor woman that indignity of being tossed out on the street."

"You are full of shit," he spits at me, getting on the phone to check what I'm telling him and call what he thinks is a bluff.

I watch in satisfaction as his eyes bulge and the cheap material of his pale blue shirt starts to dampen with arm sweat as he makes phone call after phone call.

"You son of a bitch," he names me, slamming the phone down so hard it reverberates out of its cradle and dangles on the side of his desk.

"Who did you think you were dealing with," I ask him. "Nobody fucks with my kids."

"Well, Daddy Lion is showing his teeth," he tells me.

"Is that how Jess described me," I tell him pointing to the dangling phone.

"We don't talk much while I'm fucking her brains out," he says in a pathetic attempt to try and rile me.

"Funny she doesn't look anywhere near satisfied," I hit back. " I guess you would mistake docility for being thoroughly fucked, since you get off on it. But I'm not some vulnerable woman you can prey on and brainwash with your sob story."

"Oh like the young Miss. Steele," he comes back and hits me hard.

Regrettably, I can't help but react to his trump card and my over confident demeanor slips a bit at the mention of Ana's name.

"I got your attention now, don't I hotshot," he says, proud of himself as I regain composure.

I stand stoned faced and seemingly unaffected. A posture I've perfected over the years in business. But inwardly I'm raging.

"She is a beauty," he tells me as he throws the paper I gave her with the car safety information on it at me.

This bastard actually breathed the same air as Ana.

"Of course when I saw your letter head there on that paper she and her friends were waving around, I took care of her...personally," he tells me.

His voice is dripping with salaciousness at taking care of her.

This sack of shit is trying hard to get a rise out of me as he digs on, hoping to find the right button to push.

"I see why you want her instead of Jess. She's a juicy one," he tells me, "and ripe for the plucking. Every time I brushed against one of those rock hard nipples of hers, she squirmed away from me."

I stand still as he continues to dig, but my anger is dangeroulsy close to the surface.

"Mm, I can still smell her," he says licking his lips and inhaling long and deep. "If her friends weren't around I would have had my way with her right in that new car of hers, she was so ready to earn it. Good thing I still have her address. I might just pay her a visit. Show her what a real man can do for her."

 _He found it_

"You sick son of a bitch," I yell as I grab hold of his tie and proceed to pummel his face with my fist.

"Keep. Your. Filthy. Hands. Off. Of. Her," I say with every hit.

The next thing I know someone is grabbing hold of me and I am unable to move as I try in vain to lash out blindly, hoping to connect to a target.

"MR. GREY," someone yells. "CHRISTIAN!"

I hear a slight Australian accent and I recognize it as Anderson.

He and Ryan are both holding on to me.

"Alright, let me go," I tell them regaining control of myself.

I look down at that bastard to see him laid out on the floor, his face swollen, bloodied, and bruised.

"Mr. Grey you need to go. I'm sure the police have been called," Anderson says. I look back to see employees scuring around in a panic.

"I'm not going any fucking where until I've made myself clear with this asshole," I tell him.

"Trust me to take care of it," he tells me. "Ryan, get him out of here."

He moves to do just that.

"Sir, please," Ryan tells me.

Reluctantly, I go with him.

"Who's with my kids," I ask him as he drives off the lot.

"Your parents, Sir," he tells me.

Now that's just fucking great.

….

 **Anderson's POV**

"Hey, wake up," I kick this jackass with the tip of my steel toed boot as he is laid out on his office floor.

"Calm your pathetic ass down," I tell him as he wakes up trying to fight.

"That bastard," he whimpers, feeling his swollen face and seeing his own blood. "No way in hell is he getting away with this! I am going to sue him up the ass. I'm pressing charges…HHUUUHH!"

He begins to choke as I press my size twelve foot against his throat.

"Let me tell you how this is going to go down…."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	23. Damage Control

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty-Three**

 **Damage Control**

 **...**

 **Christian's POV**

On the way up to the penthouse, I text Ana that Ryan will be outside of the Ramsey's waiting for her and that I will stop by her place later to explain. I am confident she in no danger right now, but I'm not taking the slightest chance where that bastard is concerned.

When the elevator doors open, I shove my bruised hand in my pocket to hide it from the twins, but I needn't have worried. Mom has them busy upstairs.

"What the hell happened," Dad says getting a look at my disheveled appearance and my now exposed injured hand.

He grabs the first aid kit from the kitchen and follows me into my office.

"How much do you know," I ask him after I read Ana's message that she'll be home around ten. "Jess called and filled us in on what happened with Phoebe. Obviously you went after that bastard."

He cleans and bandages my hand.

I look up at him with a smirk.

"I am the husband of a doctor, you know," he tells me.

"I lost it Dad," I tell him. "He threatened to go after Ana and I fucking lost it."

"How did he threaten her," he asks me.

"She bought a car from him…" I start.

"Shit," he says my sentiments out loud.

"He threatened to show up at her place and alluded to raping her," I tell him. "I let him have it."

"I can imagine you would. When Jess told us about Pheebs I already thought I would have to bail you out of jail. I even have Judge Reiner on stand-by," he tells me. "She called your mother, hysterical. Jess just knew you were going to kill that bastard."

"Jess," I spit out. "I don't know what the hell is going on with her."

"I know, Son," dad tells me, angrily. "I wish I had the words."

"She is a mess Dad and I can't trust her," I tell him. "I don't want to keep her from the kids but I need control of the situation. The kids are supposed to spend winter break with her. How can I let that happen right now? She is desperately grasping at straws and that bastard knows it. He is a manipulative son of a bitch and she's not in the right frame of mind to see it. What if she takes the kids and run?"

"Now don't panic, Son. You and I both know Anderson is not going to stand by and let that happen. He'd die for those kids," he assures me. "You can add a few more to help him if you think things will get that bad."

"I'd rather just have the kids here with me," I tell him. "Who the hell knows what he'll convince her to do now that I've taken away everything he has?"

"You did what," Dad asks surprised. "Jesus Christ, Christian. The last thing you need right now is this guy as an enemy, if he has this much influence over Jess. Hopefully this little stunt doesn't get you brought up on charges. I can make this go away, but you can't keep going on hot headed and fully cocked."

"What the hell was I suppose to do," I ask him. "Let that bastard get away with it. I let too much shit slide with him already."

"It was a phone call, Christian," he scolds me. "There was no real danger other than the fact that he is mean. They were just words from an idiotic son of a bitch and threats to rile you up."

"This coming from the man who knocked out my elementary school principle for calling me stupid," I remind him.

"Hey, he had it coming," he bristles up, even at the memory.

"Exactly," I tell him as he just proved my point.

"Okay, I was a hot head too back then," he admits to me with a laugh. "Maybe I'm not the best example to follow."

"You are the best," I tell him and he smiles.

"The kids are blaming themselves," he tells me, gently.

"I'll talk to them and explain things," I tell him.

"If you take them away from Jess for the winter break it could do more harm than good," he tells me. "I know you're concerned and pissed and you should be. Hell, I had to take the phone from your mother before she laid into Jess."

He shakes his head a sighs.

"Not that I handled her much better," he continues. "But Jess did her part. She honored your agreement. She couldn't help that he called when he did."

"Her judgment is off," I tell him.

"No question, but let me play devils advocate," he tells me and I nod. "Let's remove our feelings for a minute and look at the facts: She is dating a rotten son of a bitch who she is keeping away from the twins. If you start making demands on which she dates, she may do the same with you. She may not like the fact that you are involved with the twin's teacher. It is gross misconduct on Ana's part after all."

"Are you comparing Ana to that bastard," I ask him.

"Now you know better than that," he tells me. "But you have got to play nice right now."

"You think I'm overreacting too," I ask him.

"Hell no," he tells me. "But you need to pick your battles until this divorce goes through. Jess is doing everything you ask of her where the kids are concerned. You can't punish her because she's not towing your line in her personal life, especially when she has made sure to keep it clear of her kids, with the exception of the phone call. All I'm asking is you give credit where it's due."

I inhale deeply.

"I think he is abusing her Dad," I tell him.

"I think so too," he tells me, sadly, "If not physically, definitely emotionally. He has her thinking he is the only one who understands her grief. I can just picture that bastard crying on her shoulder about his dead wife and kid. Who the hell wouldn't be empathetic, especially given what Jess has endured? She is being eaten alive by her guilt and it breaks my goddamn heart."

"What the hell do I do," I ask him. "I failed her before. How can I help her now?"

"Son, you just can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved," he tells me. "I've seen way too many of these cases. You get in between the two of them and she will turn on you. You have too much at stake right now with the kids to let that happen. Keep your focus on them."

"Now how far along are you with Ana," he ask me.

"Why," I ask him, wondering about the sudden change in direction.

"Humor me," he tells me. "Your mother and I are curious."

"We are just friends," I tell him and he raises and eyebrow at me. "Okay, friends that kisses and cuddles. She is very aware of my situation."

He nods.

"Not many would be that understanding," he tells me.

"She's nothing like the many," I tell him.

"You love her," he says, pointing to my injured hand. "I haven't seen you riled up this much sense you were thirteen and your testosterone first kicked in."

I nod

"Hopeless romantic," he chuckles at me. "So much for me living vicariously as you play the field."

"I found the one I want, Dad," I tell him.

"I feel the need to apologize son," he tells me, seriously. "I feel I did you a disservice by pushing you into marriage…"

"Dad, don't," I tell him. "That is water under a seven year old bridge and it wasn't all you. I felt obligated to do the right thing and honestly I'm glad I did. I got Andy out of the deal, even if it was only for a few months."

He nods in understanding.

"So this is where the party's at," Elliot says, coming into my office. "I swear you two hide from me on purpose."

"And yet you never take the hint," I tell him.

"Up yours little bro," he tells me and my Dad laughs. "Mom says dinner is ready."

"Alright, on your best behavior in front of your mother and the twins," Dad warns us like he use to when we were little.

We were allowed to act up with just him, but as soon as mom came around, we had to be on our Ps and Qs and we dare not embarrass either of them in front of people.

"Daddy," Phoebe says as she and Teddy come running to me. "You hurt yourself?"

"Yeah, but Daddy's okay, Babydoll," I assure her as she looks over my bandaged hand like the doctor she wants to be when she grows up.

My mother eyes me suspiciously and I shrug guiltily at her.

"Come on you two," Dad says to the kids. "Let's go see what Auntie Kate and Grandma cooked for us."

"Yeah," they say going into the dining room.

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Everything alright," Brandon asks as he joins me on the Ramsey's back terrace.

He waits until I reread Christian's text for the third time wondering what the matter is.

"Everything is perfect," I tell him, not wanting to talk about it, "just enjoying the view of the water."

The terrace is by far my favorite place in this massive mansion they affectionately call a house.

Chuck redesigned it to rival the one at the White House.

He fell in love with the stone white columns the first time he attended the State Dinner for President George H. Bush and Again for President Bill Clinton.

He, his wife Agnes, and later Brandon and Char, have lived in the affluent Hunts Point or as Char likes to call it, the fully aroused penis because of how it looks on the map, for the last thirty five years.

"It is beautiful this time of evening," Brandon agrees with me.

"I can't believe you and Char actually moved out of this place," I tell him. "They would have had to pry me out of here."

He laughs.

"It is a great home," he admits. "But we would still be living with our parents."

"That's true," I tell him, seeing his point. "It probably would cramp your style and put the brakes on any romantic endeavors."

"Speaking of romantic endeavors," he tells me. "I have the name of new therapist for you."

"A new therapist, why," I ask him.

"We've gone as far as I can take you I think," he tells me.

"I don't understand," I tell him.

"Your relationship with Christian is advancing fast," he tells me. "I don't think I can get you over that final….hump, so to speak."

I shake my still not understanding.

"Ana," he tells me. "I'm talking about you having sex."

I blush.

"See," he says, pointing to my reddened face. "Right there, that proves my point. You can't talk about it with me and you need to. Trust me she's good. I believe she can help get you to where you need to be."

"We've talked about worst things than sex before," I remind him.

"Yes, but those were past experiences," he tells me. "This is something you are trying to let happen."

"I don't like it," I say to him.

"Hey," he tells me. "I'm not saying you can't talk to me. We are still friends, you know. Trust me on this."

"Okay," I agree. "But I reserve the right to come back to you if I don't like her."

"Deal," he says.

"Listen, Ana," he starts again. "There is something else I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"Hey, diner is ready you two," Char says, joining us outside.

I try not to laugh at the look Brandon gives her, which is only reserved for his 'annoying little sister'. She rolls her eyes at him as he walks past her.

"You are lucky you are the only child, Ana," she tells me as we join the rest of her family for dinner.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

My parents left a little while ago. Elliot and Kate are sticking around to spend more time with the twins.

I talked to Phoebe. I wanted to make sure she wasn't afraid to return to her mother's house if I decide to let them.

"No, I'm not afraid," she tells me now, "As long as Teddy and Marcy are with mom and me. The mean man won't come to mommy's house will he Daddy?"

"No Babydoll," I assure her. "Mommy knows he scared you."

She nods seeming satisfied and goes upstairs to where Kate is waiting to help her with her bath and read her a story.

I let Elliot help Ted so that he may talk to him, since he can probably relate to him better than I can right now.

….

 **Elliot's POV**

"Hey Bud," I start to talk to Teddy when we enter his room. "I heard what happened today over at your mom's place, how are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess," he tells me as he looks for his pajamas and a book to read.

"I know it's a lot of responsibility being a big brother and Phoebe depends on you a lot." I tell him.

"Yeah," he agrees with me as we sit on his bed.

"I know what that's like," I tell him. "Your Dad and Auntie Mia used to depend on me a lot when we were little. Sometimes it made it hard for me to admit I was scared when things happened."

"You got scared," he asks me, surprised, "even though you're the oldest?"

"I sure did," I tell him. "I was really afraid of the dark when I was just a little older than you. One night the lights went out. Your dad was about five and he was really scared. I knew being the oldest, I had to take care of him and help him be okay, but it was hard for me. Later I talked to your Grandpa Carrick and you know what he told me?"

"What," he asks me, eager to hear.

"He told me that what I did was brave," I tell him. "He said that being brave means that even if you get scared, you still do what's right. Now that doesn't mean we do dangerous things, we leave that to Taylor and Anderson. It just means we help our little brothers and sisters not to be so scared."

"Does my Dad still get scared," he asks me. I can tell that he is trying to wrap his mind around his larger than life dad being scared.

As old as I am, it's still hard for me to imagine my dad being scared of anything.

"Sure he does and he still comes to me for help," I tell him. "I know you want to not be scared for Phoebe. But remember everyone gets scared, and it's okay."

"Who do you go to for help," he asks me.

"I go to my dad," I tell him. "And you can go to your dad, to me, Grandma and Grandpa, and all the other people who love you. And you know what, you can even let Phoebe know that you get scared and she can help you too."

"But she's a girl," he says and I laugh.

"Well you got me there, buddy," I tell him. "Come on let's get ready for bed."

…

 **Christian's POV**

Ryan opens up Ana's door to let me in. I instruct him to wait outside.

"Christian what happened to your hand," she asks me, turning around as I caught her looking in the refrigerator.

"I got into a fight. With your car dealer, Robert Rogers," I tell her.

"With him, how," she asks me, surprised. "Why?"

"Jess had the affair with him and she's still seeing him," I tell her and her eyes go wide as she stands speechless.

"THAT's the guy," she asks me and I nod. If I had a feather, I could knock her shocked body over with it.

"He scared Phoebe earlier today," I tell her.

"Phoebe," she whispers, upset. "Is she okay? Did he hurt her?"

"She's fine now," I tell her, calming her down. "She answered his call and he scared both her and Teddy pretty bad. When I went to confront him, he said some things about you."

"How does he even know I know you," she asks me.

"The paper I gave you with the car safety information on it," I explain to her. "He had a copy of it."

"Ana, did he do anything to you that day," I ask her.

"He just gave me the creeps," she tells me. "He was a little too close for my comfort when he was showing me cars."

"What do you mean," I ask her. Hoping this bastard wasn't telling the truth.

"He would sit me in the driver's seat while he pointed out features," she tells me. The bile in my stomach is getting higher with her every word. "He would lean over me and come just shy of touching me. By the fourth car, I stopped getting in."

"Goddamnit Ana," I blow up at her, "by the FOURTH damn car? It took you that long? You should have hopped out of the first one!"

Her face falls and I instantly regret the accusation.

"Shit. Baby, I'm sorry," I tell her, taking her face in my hands and kissing her softly. "I didn't mean to blame you for what that bastard tried to do. I didn't mean any of that. I've just been worried."

"I just thought he was a sleazy car guy trying to make a pass at me," she tells me and I nod.

"Just the thought of him being that close to you, I can't stand it." I tell her, as I sweep her hair off her shoulder. "Ana, I had a talk with him before I punched his face in. He said some nasty things about you. He made some threats."

She sucks her breath in sharply.

"Baby, he has your information…" I start to tell her.

"No he doesn't," she tells me and I frown in confusion.

"I gave him fake information," she explains.

"Your driver's license," I remind her.

"I gave him my fake one. Even if he runs it, the information is false," she tells me.

"I don't believe it," I tell her.

"My dad's old army buddy works in the FBI," she tells me. "He made it for me to use for when someone like that Robert car guy gives me the creeps."

I just stare at her and she continues on.

"My Dad's friends are a paranoid bunch and into government conspiracies, go figure," she tells me. "When I got home I called the car finance company and gave them my real information. I told them I was a victim of Identity theft and now everything is password protected."

I pick her up and twirl her around as best I can in her tiny kitchen while she giggles in my ear.

"Thank God for Frank Lambert and his paranoid friends," I tell her before sitting her down.

"Christian," she squints her eyes at me and I know I'm in trouble. "How do you know my Dad's last name?"

 _Shit!_

"You told me," I say with a high pitched voice, more in a form of a question than an answer.

She shakes her head no.

"Kate told me," I sigh my confession and she shakes her head in amused disbelief.

"What am I going to do with you." she tells me.

"This," I tell her and my lips kiss hers.

...

"I still want to leave Ryan here with you," I tell her after we've been talking for an hour. "He'll be outside in his SUV."

"No way," she tells me. "He can sleep on the couch."

"Like hell," I tell her.

"I won't be able to sleep knowing he is out there in the cold," she tells me.

"He has a nice warm SUV to sit in," I tell her and she pouts.

 _She actually fucking pouts. She is going to be the death of me._

"He's not going to get to sleep over in here before I do," I say trying to ignore how cute she looks right now.

"Christian Trevelyan- Grey, you cannot be serious," she scolds me.

And I sigh, fully chastened.

"Fine," I tell her.

"Thank you," she tells me giving me a kiss.

"Ana," I call to her. "How do you know my full last name?"

I smirk as her eyes go wide from being busted on snooping around on me.

"Partners in crime," she says sweetly to me and I roll my eyes.

…

I arrive at the penthouse to find Anderson waiting.

I say goodnight to El and Katie before I speak to him.

"What happened," I asked him as we now sit in my office. I pour myself a brandy and I pour one for him as well.

"I finished the lesson you gave him on what happens when a man disrespects sweet little innocent girls. Obviously his daddy never taught him anything," he tells me and I nod.

"Then what," I ask him.

"Then he told the nice policemen all about his perpetual clumsiness and how he kept falling around his office, tripping over his own feet, and banging his face into his office furniture, repeatedly. They left without much fanfare," he tells me.

"I can't believe it," I tell him.

"Don't believe it," he tells me. "I've seen mongrels like him before. His kind needs to be taken out back and shot. He's trouble I'm afraid."

I nod in dreadful agreement.

…..

Exhausted, I go and check on the kids before turning in.

Phoebe is sound asleep but Teddy is still awake.

"Can't sleep," I ask him as I sit on his bed.

"I guess not," he says, giving me a classic Teddy answer.

"Why don't you come downstairs and keep your old man company tonight," I ask him. "It gets pretty lonely down there."

"Okay," he says, quickly getting up. "Just so you won't be alone, though."

"I appreciate it, Son," I tell him.

I leave him in my bed while I go take a quick shower.

By the time I come out, he is already fast asleep. I brush his red hair off of his face, noting that it's time for him to get a haircut. I fall into bed next to him, asleep before my head hits the pillow, thanking God this fucked up day is finally over.

...

 **Jess's POV**

"Rob, baby, please calm down," I beg him as he yells angrily outside my front door.

"Look what that son of a bitch did to me," he yells at me. My stomach drops when I hear the terrible slur in his words as I try to figure out the best way to handle him when he's this drunk.

I jump in fear when I hear him pound the door down again.

"OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR OR I'LL BREAK THE MOTHERFUCKER DOWN!

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I hope you all have a great weekend.**

 **Thank you again for reading and reveiwing**.


	24. The Heaven

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty-Four**

 **The Heaven**

 **...**

 **Sunday, November 29, 2015.**

 **Christian's POV**

I am jarred awake by a sharp smack to my face. I open my eyes to see Phoebe's little hand laid over my cheek. She must have come in sometime during the night because now she is sprawled out in-between Teddy and me.

Both of them are uncovered as they are sleeping in two of the most uncomfortable positions I have ever seen.

Phoebe is on her back in an awkward spread eagle with her right leg mangled under Teddy's left while he is turned halfway on his side with both of his arms behind his back like he's being arrested.

I get out of bed without waking them, straighten them both out, cover them back up, and go to my office to get some work done before the sun comes up.

…..

I make a call to Barney and find out that Rob is over at Jess's place at the moment and I feel my anger start to rise again at the fact that she is still giving him the time of day.

I can just imagine him using what happened to manipulate her to his will.

I shake off the feeling and call Ryan to take his ass out to the SUV when Ana wakes ups, so that she may have her morning to herself.

"Grey," I say answering my cell without bothering to see who it is.

"So you are now the proud owner of two car lots," I hear Ros's voice over a very loud babbling Baby Tyler.

I laugh at what I am sure was an early morning baby wake-up call for her.

"Remind me not to piss you off," she tells me.

"Don't start with the lecture," I ask her.

"No lecture from me," she tells me. "That f'er needs to fry for messing with my babygirl."

"Easy tiger," I tell her, laughing at how she is trying to sensor her cursing around Tyler.

"The question is what do you want me to do with them," she asks me.

"Close them down," I tell her. "Give the cars to those charities you're always harping on about."

"Excellent idea, boss," she tells me.

"Now go and play with that Godson of mine," I tell her.

"Will do," she says hanging up.

….

"Come in," I say when I hear a knock on my office door thinking that it's Teddy or Phoebe.

"This is why I never leave on the weekends," Taylor appears in the doorway.

I look at the time only to realize I've been toiling away in here for three hours.

"I take it Anderson briefed you on yesterday," I tell him and he nods.

"The one holiday I agree to go away and all hell breaks loose," he grumbles on mad at himself for something he couldn't possibly have foreseen.

"The question is, did you enjoy the forced time off," I ask him and he nods curtly. "Good, then you'll do it again for Christmas."

"Where are the twins," I ask him before he can protest.

"Anderson took them out for a little fresh air before breakfast," he tells me. "They wanted to ride their scooters a bit."

"Good," I tell him. "Let Gail know I'll take them out for a bite to eat in a little while."

"I will," he tells me.

"I suppose Rob is now on the 'shit list'," I ask him.

The shit list is for those viewed as threats.

"The Christmas edition," he says to me and I don't know what the hell that means but it doesn't bring forth joy and good tidings, that's for damn sure. "I know a guy, ex military, ex FBI, discharged with honors. Right now he's a free agent. He walks a murky line between clean and dirty when he needs to get things done. With your permission I'd like to bring him in on this deal."

"What deal is that," I ask him.

"Something just doesn't sit right about this Rob guy," he tells me. "I know all the checks came up clean about his past and it's just my gut talking but in light of what happened yesterday, I want to go with. We may need someone who'll get dirty."

"You have my full support," I tell him and he nods leaving me to finish my work.

…

The twins have convinced me to spend the day out on The Grace. Not that I needed much convincing. I could use some time out on the open water to clear my head and there is no one else I'd rather spend the day out on the water with than the two of them.

 _There is one other person I'd love to have join us though._

I call Mac, the captain of The Grace, to let him know the kids and I will be taking her out today. I usually like to take her out alone, but with my hand not working at full capability, I don't trust myself. I'll need him and his first mate to cast off and hoist the sails.

The twins and I stop by the coffee shop for a quick bite to eat before we head out to the marina.

Phoebe is excited because they just started selling her favorite peppermint hot chocolate to kick off the winter holidays.

Teddy frowns in disgust at the imagined taste of peppermint in chocolate. He doesn't understand how she could drink it and frankly, neither do I.

We prefer the regular hot chocolate with just a few marshmallows floating on top and maybe, if we are feeling adventurous, we'll have a mountain of whipped cream to top it off.

As we near the entrance, I see Ana sitting in the coffee shop window.

Our eyes meet and she gives me the most breathtaking smile I've ever seen before in my life.

I spot Ryan sitting a few tables away from her. Taylor goes over to join him.

"Ms. Steele," the twins say happily when they spot her. They run over to sit with her without being invited.

"Good morning you two," I hear her greet them just as happily, while I order our breakfast at the nearby counter.

"Christian," she says to me when I walk over with our food. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Ana," I say to her.

I sit down opposite her next to Teddy while phoebe takes up the seat beside her.

I place the tray of whole wheat pretzel bagels and cream cheese that is sprinkled with cinnamon sugar in the middle of the table for us. I place the twin's hot chocolate in front of them and the peppermint one I brought over for Ana in front of her. I noticed her finishing up a cup when I walked in.

It seems she is a fan of the peppermint hot chocolate as well.

"Careful, it's very hot," I tell all of them as they reach for their drinks.

"Mmmm," is the only response I get from the twins.

Their upper lips now have white whipped cream mustaches.

"It's nice to see you, here, this morning," I tell Ana as the twins are busy spreading their bagels with cream cheese. "Are you meeting someone?"

"No," she tells me, raising an eyebrow in defiance at the meaning of my not so subtle probing question. "I came for the peppermint hot chocolate."

"Me too," Phoebe exclaims, butting into the conversation and Ana smiles at her. "It's my favorite."

"I don't like peppermint," Teddy also adds his two cents.

"I like regular hot chocolate too," Ana tells him.

I wonder if she is remembering the time we drank it in the lodge. She catches my stare and the slight red tinge that appears on her face lets me know she is.

"With marshmallows," Teddy asks her, hopeful.

"Mmmmhhmmm," she tells him, nodding yes dramatically and he beams at her, happy that she likes his type of hot chocolate too.

"Guess what," Phoebe says to her.

"What," she answers her after pretending to try and think of a guess.

"Daddy is taking us out on The Grace," Phoebe says, excited. "That's a big boat named after my Grandma Grace, but she's not as big as the boat though. But Dad says she is as graceful as the boat. But I don't know how because she doesn't really like to swim."

I sip my hot chocolate as I hide my amused smile at my rambling little girl.

"That sounds like fun," Ana says to both of them. "I'm sure you and your dad will have a great time."

"Come with us," Teddy tells her as I already knew he would. I have a feeling Phoebe is right, my little man is quite smitten with her.

"Oh," Ana says, caught off guard by the invitation. "Ooo, I don't know… uh…"

She looks at me to bail her out, but I sure as hell am not going to say anything to disparage the idea.

"I think that is a great idea, Teddy," I say instead.

"Well, you know, I'm not really dressed to go," she makes an excuse.

She is wearing blue jeans, a grey shirt, dark blue sweater and black and white sneakers.

"You look good to me," my son says, inspecting her and I nearly choke on my hot chocolate.

I know he didn't mean it the way it sounded, but he knows of which he speaks.

"I couldn't agree more," I tell her and she narrows her eyes at me.

"Me too," Phoebe agrees.

"Then it's settled," I tell them all. "Let's finish eating, so we can head out."

I smirk at Ana as she shakes her head in annoyance at me.

I know I'm going to get an ear full when she gets me alone, but I don't care. I want her with us today.

Since Ryan drove her over, Ana, the twins, and I take his SUV while Taylor and Ryan follows behind us in his.

….

The twins walk ahead of us as we walk the marina to where the Grace is docked. Ana walks beside me and I want so much to hold her hand as we go. It feels wrong having to refrain from touching her.

Following the safety rules of wearing a life vest while on the deck of the boat, the twins put them on and head off in opposite directions of us.

I introduce Ana to Mac and I give her a tour of the Grace.

"I was expecting something smaller," she tells me as she looks around impressed by the opulence. "I should have known better."

"Small has never been my thing," I tell her.

"What is your thing," she asks me.

"You," I tell her. "Them," I say when we hear the kids laughing somewhere close by. "We being here like this together is my thing."

"You are playing with fire you know," she warns me. "What if they catch on? It's not like it was on Halloween."

"No it most definitely isn't," I tell her, proud of how far we've come in that short amount of time. "I have to keep reminding myself not to call you Baby."

"This wasn't a good idea," she tells me.

"It's an excellent idea," I tell her. "I want us all to start spending time together."

"Christian…" she starts.

"I know," I tell her. "I remember your need for boundaries. Ana, you are an important part of my life and I want them to get use to being with you outside of the class room, so it won't be such an adjustment for them later. I wasn't planning on it this soon, but why go against fate?"

"Okay," she says. "It's just an impromptu boat ride, right?"

"Absolutely," I tell her, giving her my best smile.

"Oh God," she says in response. "I am in so much trouble."

I laugh.

Most of the morning is spent with us wandering around the boat.

The twins take up most of Ana's attention, asking her all kinds of questions, as they never really get to talk to her this much in school.

I leave them to it while I go make lunch.

After noticing how quiet it's has become, I leave our food cooling while I go in search of them. I find them in the master bedroom.

They are lying on their stomachs in the bed. Ana is in the middle, as they all look down at the glass bottom underneath them. Phoebe and Teddy are pointing out things to Ana who seems a bit freaked out that she is actually in bed looking down at the water beneath her.

I lay next to Teddy to join them for a little while until I instruct them to wash up for lunch, leaving Ana and I not only alone in the bedroom, but in the bed.

"Christian," she scolds me as I scoot close to her.

"I cannot, not kiss you right now," I tell her.

She moans as my lips press into hers. Her mouth opens allowing my tongue inside to deepen the kiss.

"Mmmm," a satisfied moan escapes me as images of her naked in this bed being pleasured underneath me floods my mind. I wrap my arm around her waist and slide her even closer to me.

"Daddy," we hear Phoebe.

Ana and I separate just before she reenters the bedroom.

"Can we eat now," she asks me.

"Of course, Babydoll," I tell her, getting out of bed and helping Ana up.

We sit around the horse shoe shaped dining table finishing up our burgers and fries, before we venture out onto the deck.

Mac calls the kids up to the wheel room where he, Taylor, and Ryan are so that they may drive before it gets too dark.

I finally get to play with Ana unguarded in the back of the catamaran while they are gone.

I lift her up and pretend I'm about to toss her overboard until her high pitched squeals bring the twins back down to see what we are up to.

…

I bring out blankets and we all cuddle together on the oversized deck lounger to watch the sunset.

Ana is on one end while I'm on the other, Teddy next to me and Phoebe is cuddled up under Ana.

I look over at the three most important people in my life:

Teddy is fighting to stay wake, Phoebe, who has lost the fight, has her arms around Ana as she sleeps, and Ana is holding her while admiring the view of the beautiful sunset.

I want to shout out to the world how happy I am right at this moment.

…

"I had a wonderful time," Ana whispers," as we sit parked outside of her apartment.

The twins, who woke just long enough to walk to the SUV, are now asleep in the backseat.

"Me too," I tell her as we see Ryan waiting for her outside.

"Do you still think he's necessary," she asks me and I shake my head no.

"I just like you having him for protection," I admit. "I'll take him home with me."

She laughs low enough to not wake the kids.

"Good night," Christian," she gives me a quick peck on the cheek.

"Good night, baby," I whisper low to her.

I instruct Ryan to walk her in and check things out before he heads back to Escala.

…..

The twins are unwakeable, so Taylor carries Teddy to bed while I carry Phoebe.

I dress them in their pajamas, tuck them both in, and kiss them goodnight before I head off to my home office to call Jess.

The twins want to go over to her place after school tomorrow.

"Christian," she says my name groggily.

"Did I wake you," I ask her as I look at the clock to read nine thirty.

"No," she tells me.

"Jess, the twins want to come over afterschool tomorrow," I begin.

"NO," she tells me. "Don't let them come over here."

"I want them to," I tell her. "I've had a chance to calm down…"

"No, they need to stay away," she tells me.

"Why," I ask her.

"Just so things can settle," she tells me.

"What things," I ask her.

"Christian, I really can't talk about it," she says to me.

"What the fuck do you mean you don't want to talk about," I yell at her. My happy mood is now plummeting at lightning speed.

"Christian," she says.

"Jess, are you drunk," I ask her as her words begin to slur.

"I really hate that I upset the kids yesterday," she tells me and I struggle to understand her. "I love them. I love them more than my own life. Promise me you'll tell them that. I didn't mean to be this way."

"How much have you had to drink," I ask her. "Is he with you? Is he drunk too?"

"No," she says. "He's gone. He won't hurt anyone anymore."

"Well I hope you mean it this time, Jess," I tell her. "For your sake, especially."

"Christian," she says to me. "I love you…."

"Jess don't," I tell her.

"And the kids," she continues. "I want you all to know that."

"Jess, just sleep it off," I tell her. "It will all look better in the morning."

"I just did something really stupid," she says to me, so low, I can barely hear her.

"What did you do," I ask her.

"Jess," I call her name when she doesn't respond.

 _SHIT!_

 _Unfuckingbelievable!_

"Sir," Taylor answers his phone.

"Who's on tonight, "I ask him.

"Reynolds," he tells me

"Have him go and check on Mrs. Grey," I instruct him. "I spoke to her and she didn't seem herself. She may be drunk."

"Right away, Sir," he tells me.

…..

Unable to sleep, I check on the twins again and go to my room to wait for word on Jess.

Taylor decided to check on Jess himself since she would mostly likely be more cooperative with him if she was inebriated.

"Taylor," I answer his phone call.

"Mrs. Grey was taken to the hospital, Sir," he tells me. "She was roughed up pretty bad by Rogers."

"FUCK," I yell out.

"Sir," he calls for my attention. "They found an empty bottle of sleeping pills next to where she was laying in bed. She's stable right now, but if we would have waited any longer…"

"No," I whisper. "Jesus Christ. I thought she was drunk. Where the fuck is that bastard? Did he just let her do that to herself?"

"He's here, Sir," he tells me. "But he couldn't have helped her."

"Is the bastard passed out," I spit at him.

"He's dead," he tells me.

...

 **Monday, November 30, 2015**

 **Christian's POV**

"A little early for Christmas, isn't it Doc," I ask Flynn as he just happens to be in his receptionist area when I walk in.

I look around to see Christmas decorations, including a six foot Douglas fir and him dressed in a blue holiday sweater speckled with white snow dots and a snowman in the center of it.

The instrumental version of Deck the Halls is playing softly in the background.

"Christian, it can never be too early for Christmas," her greets me. He offers me a glass of sparkling cider. I take it and chug it down.

"Another early morning meeting, what's brought this on," he asks me as we enter his office. I plop down on my usual place on his couch.

"Jesus, it's been a mix of pure heaven and hell," I tell him. "Where do I begin?"

"The beginning is always good," he tells me.

"Ana," I whisper.

"Mmmm," he says in thought. "So she's the beginning? Interesting."

"She's also the heaven," I tell him. "She's become extremely important to me."

"How so," he asks me.

"When I'm with her, nothing else matters," I tell him. "She makes me feel like the master of my universe. She listens to me, she trusts me, and she likes my kids. I can spend all day doing nothing and everything with her and I love it. I can't get enough of it."

"How long has it been since you felt this way," he tells me.

"I've never felt this way," I confess.

"Are you telling me that you're feelings run deep for Ana," he asks me.

"Very deep," I tell him. "We are getting closer every day."

"What's the problem there," he asks me.

"I haven't known her for very long," I admit to him.

"Are you thinking she's just a flash in the pan," He asks him.

"Hell no," I tell him.

"You are afraid it's a rebound," he asks me.

"It's definitely not a rebound," I tell him. "When I first made this appointment with you, it was right after she left my house and I was feeling extremely lonely without her. I missed her more than I'd ever missed anyone before. I wanted to ask you how can I be sure that my feelings are true. I'd never felt it before, so I had nothing to compare it to. I didn't want it to be just me using her to help distract me from my mess of a life. She deserves much more than that."

"And now, you know for sure," he asks me and I nod. "How?"

"Rob Rogers," I tell him.

"The man Jessica is being investigated for murdering last night," he tells me.

Unfortunately the news is having a field day with this so I'm not surprised Flynn would know something about it already.

Once again we are in the media spotlight and the family has to close ranks not only around the twins but Jess as well.

"The very same," I tell him.

"Go on," he says to me, eager to hear.

"She bought a car from him a while back," I begin to tell him the whole story. I explain my visceral reaction to him threatening Ana. "That is when I realized I loved her. I love her."

"I see," he says trying and failing to sound unfazed.

"I was on cloud fucking nine until last night," I tell him. "Jess trying to kill herself and her possibly being charged with killing that bastard she was involved with."

"How is she," he asks me.

"A mess," I tell him. "She took a bottle of sleeping pills."

"I thought she was seeing a therapist," he tells me.

"She stopped, apparently," I inform him. "She is so fragile right now. I feel obligated to help her."

"But that's not what you want to do," he ask me and I shake my head no. I would never admit it to anyone else. "I want to be done with it John. I want this divorce and I want to move on with Ana."

"No one would blame you if you walked away from Jess, you know," he tells me.

"I would blame me," I tell him. "One day my kids might as well."

"You can't know that," he tells me. "They may understand when they are old enough to. They may not want you to sacrifice their father for their mother. And what of Ana, the woman you love?"

"What of her," I ask him, defensively.

"Is she suppose to sit idle while you help a drowning Jess," he asks me. " I don't mean to sound unsympathetic to her plight, Christian, but if your heart is no longer in this, she may just pull you down with her."

"So what do you suggest," I ask him. "Leave her to drown?"

"Inform her family," he tells me.

"I am her family," I remind him, "until the judge says otherwise."

"What about her parents," he asks me. "The stress is too much on her father and her sister has had enough of her."

He drops his pen and stares at me in disbelief, but he holds his tongue.

"I'm not going to lose Ana," I tell him. "That is not a fucking option."

"You're still going through with the divorce then," he ask me and I nod yes.

"What about your parents," he suggests.

"She's my responsibility," I tell him.

"I admire you loyalty," he tells me.

"But," I say to him.

"I just fear it will come at a high price," he tells me.

* * *

 **A/N: Yay, no cliffhanger. right? I don't think this is a cliffhanger.**

 **Things are going to start to move a little quicker. I want a resolution with Jess before Christmas.**

 **Thank you very much for reading, favoriting, following, and reviewing.**


	25. The Hell

**I think you would all bite my head off if I said enjoy.**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty-Five**

 **The Hell**

 _One week later_

 **Monday, December 7, 2015**

 **Christian's POV**

I sigh in disappointment when I get Ana's voice mail again for the third time in as many hours.

I am at a loss as to what to do right now. I don't want to stalk her because right now I know she wouldn't find it the least bit endearing. But I just can't let things stay the way they stand between us. I cannot not let her know how much she means to me.

 **"** **Hi, its Ana, leave me a message and I'll get back to you."**

I smile at her familiar cheery prompt as I wait for the beep to begin talking.

 **"** **Ana, Baby it's me again," I start to leave the same message I've left so many times now I've lost count. "I know what you said, but just please let me talk to you. I know what it looks like. Just let me try to explain why I have to do this. I miss you, Ana. I won't give up on us."**

I am tempted to call her back. I know I'll get her voicemail again like I have every single time I've tried to call her, but it would be worth it just to hear her voice.

"Hey, Son," Dad says coming into my home office. "Are you ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," I tell him.

"I know these last few days have taking a lot out of you and the twins," he tells me. "I admire how you've put them first in all of this. I know doing the right thing isn't always the easiest choice. I know you've been battling your conscience on this thing with Jess and Ana…"

"Don't say it like that," I tell him.

"Like what," he asks me.

"Like I'm doing something wrong with Ana," I tell him, "like she is some dirty little affair that I have to sweep under the rug."

"That wasn't my meaning at all," he tells me. "I know you love Ana and in no way was it some tawdry affair. I know that you are torn between your love for her and your obligation to your wi….to Jess. I just wish I had the power to make it a little easier for you."

"I know Dad," I tell him, feeling bad for snapping at him. "Your support means everything."

"You'll always have it, Son," he tells me. "Now let's go get Jess."

I nod and follow him out my office to the elevators where Taylor is waiting to escort us to the hospital.

It's been a week since Jess tried to kill herself.

She was admitted to the Psych ward at Seattle's Mercy Hospital and was despondent when they first brought her in.

She had defensive wounds and bruises on her forearms and large bruising on her back to where the doctors believed she might have been kicked several times.

After a day she was able to tell the authorities her side of what happened. For me it was just confirming what I already knew: the bastard was drunk and he physically assaulted her.

But what I didn't know and what she only told me was that she'd killed him because he showed her his gun. He threatened to go after the twins and she knew it wasn't him just being drunk and trying to scare her. Every instinct told her he had every intention of following through with his threat to kill them to punish her, so she waited until he went to sleep, took his gun, made him come after her, and she shot the bastard.

Since her being admitted to the hospital, I've been dividing my time between her, the Twins, GEH, and just recently, trying to get Ana to talk to me again.

Ros comes into the office part-time to help me out with meetings and the more urgent matters at GEH and while the twins and Ana are in school, I check in on Jess.

She has been formerly charged with the voluntary manslaughter of that bastard Rogers and found competent to stand trial.

My dad has hired the best criminal lawyer on the west coast, Rafe "Pit Bull" O'Connor, and thanks to the two of them, Jess is now out on 60,000 dollars bail.

In light of her being physically assaulted that night, Rafe is trying to get the charges dropped, claiming self defense, but since Rob and Jess were alone in the house and thanks to me, he had just as many bruises as she did that night, it isn't looking good for her.

I was more than willing to confess my wrong doings with Rob, but Rafe was dead set against it, stating that it would do more harm for Jess than good. It would end up getting me charged with assault at the very least or an accomplice to murder at the most.

The reason bail was granted and a important part of Jess's defense is that Rafe has painted the picture of a loving mother, wife to CEO Christian Grey, and daughter in law to Seattle's prominent pediatrician and lawyer, Dr. Trevelyan and Carrick Grey.

The judge was convinced that she was not a flight risk because of her ties to the community and the fact that she has never so much as gotten a speeding ticket in her life. Off the record, it is because the judge is a long time golf buddy of my Dad's and he owed him a favor.

However, because of the severity of the crime charged and the fact that she tried to kill herself, there were strict conditions I had to agree upon before her release that she is not yet aware of. I've been putting off telling her the way I had put off telling Ana until just a few days ago and now Ana refuses to speak to me.

"Jess, listen to me," I tell her now as she waits for her discharge papers from the hospital.

"I don't want to listen," she tells me. "Why did you have to interfere?"

"Jess, you would be dead right now," I tell. "I thank God I called you that night."

"I really wish you hadn't," she tells me, sadly. "You should have just let me die with him."

"You don't mean that," I tell her, "stop thinking about you and think about Teddy and Phoebe."

"You don't think I am," she tells me. "You don't think I do? They deserve better than me. I can't be a good mother to them anymore. I tried, but it's just too much. It's like this fog has set in and I can't see past it."

"Jess," I tell her. "You are not alone in this. I know I haven't been there for you. I couldn't get past my own pride and pain even when I saw how much you were hurting. I tried hard to ignore it. I won't do that anymore."

I take a deep breath and run my hands over my hair before I continue.

"Jess,' I start again. "I don't know what the kids would have done if you'd succeeded. Honestly, I don't know what I would have done."

"You," she says to me, shocked at my confession.

"Yes me," I tell her, trying to make light of her reaction. "You have been my best friend for most of my life. I don't know what I would do without you around."

She laughs.

"What's so funny," I ask her.

"I thought you'd be glad to be rid of me," she tells me.

"You can't mean that, Jess," I tell her, seriously.

"Mr. and Mrs. Grey," Dr. Townsend the psychiatrist that has been treating Jess comes in before she can answer me.

"You're already to go," she tells her handing me the discharge papers and Jess's prescription for her antidepressant.

"I'll expect to see you in my office tomorrow at one," she tells her. She is allowed release with the condition that she attends mandatory outpatient therapy.

"Is there any way we can schedule this closer to Shoreline," Jess asks her. "I'd rather not drive this far on this new medication. It gets me queasy sometimes."

"I was under the impression that you two are living at uh….." she pauses to look through her notes.

"Escala," I tell her. "Yes, we are."

"I'm sorry, what," Jess says to me.

"You are being released into my care," I explain to her. "I have hired a nurse that can watch after you, so that you may have outpatient treatment and be in compliance with the court order."

"You have my contact information," Dr Townsend tells us. "The emergency number can be used day or night, if there is a crisis."

"Thank you Doctor," I tell her as she leaves us alone.

"No way in hell am I going back there, Christian," Jess tells me.

"Yes, Jess, you are," I tell her as a matter of fact. "The goal is to get you well. You are going to have to start facing what happened. You are going to have to meet it head on and stop running away. It's the only way. Trust me, I know and your Doctor agrees with me."

"I can't do this alone, Christian," she cries.

"I know," I tell her. "You're not alone. I'm right here and I am going to see you through this."

"Well, now how are you two doing," my dad asks and we look up to see him in the door of Jess's hospital room.

"I don't know," she tells him as he comes inside.

"Well that is to be expected after everything you've been through," he tells her. "If you two are ready, Taylor has everything in place for you to leave."

"Thanks Dad," I tell him.

"I'll be along to Escala shortly, Son," he tells me. "Your mother and I will pick up the twins from school and spend a little time with them. That way you'll all have time to settle in."

I nod in understanding.

I've been talking to the twins all week in preparation of this day. I made it clear to them that their mom is not feeling well and that she is going to be staying with us until she is feeling better.

Of course they couldn't be happier.

I could tell them over and over again that it's just temporary but all they see is mommy is finally coming home.

Flynn tells me to keep reiterating the fact that Jess lives in shoreline and that she is only staying a little while. Nevermind the fact that if she is convicted she is facing twenty five years to life in prison. I have no idea how to prepare them for that.

My Dad and I sat them down and did our best to explain what happened with Jess and Rob. That even though we know she defended herself from being hurt worse than she was, we still have to prove it the judge.

I ride next to Jess in Taylor's SUV and sigh to myself wondering how in the hell my life got this turned upside down.

I have been beating myself up with all of the what ifs:

 _What if I hadn't been working late the night Jess and Andy Fell?_

 _What if I hadn't pulled away from Jess when she was drowning in her guilt and grief?_

 _What if I would have just forgiven her for sleeping with that bastard instead of shutting her out of my and the twins lives for months?_

 _Where would we be today if I'd have just done one thing differently?_

"What about your girlfriend," Jess asks me, dragging me out of my thoughts.

Taylor's eyes find mine in the review and I look away, not liking what I see there.

Taylor has a fondness for both Ana and Jess, but being a victim of a cheating spouse himself, he leans toward Ana, just a bit more.

"She can't be happy about me living back home with you," she tells me.

"You let me worry about my girlfriend," I tell her.

….

"I don't know if I can do this," she tells me as she reluctantly gets on the elevator.

"You can,"I assure you. "It's just an apartment Jess."

The closer we get to the penthouse the heavier her breathing becomes until she is hyperventilating by the time the elevator doors open to the foyer.

She breaks down and sobs in the middle of the great room as all the memories come flooding back.

"It's going to be okay, Jess," I tell her as we sit on the floor in the middle of the great room and I hold her while she cries.

….

 **Ana's POV**

 **"Ana, Baby it's me again," I sigh sadly as I listen to Christian's message. "I know what you said, but just please let me talk to you. I know what it looks like. Just let me try to explain why I have to do this. I miss you, Ana. I won't give up on us."**

My finger hovers over the delete button, but I just can't bring myself to get rid of his messages, so I just leave them, knowing that the phone will do it for me eventually.

I can't seem to bring myself to get rid of anything of Christian's:

the phone, the IPad, the flowers, the bra and panties I sleep in, the Laptop we were suppose to start skyping on, none of it has made its way into the banker's box I've had sitting on my kitchen floor for the last few days.

At the end of the school day, I dismiss my students and Sandy walks them out to the yard to be picked up to go home.

Teddy gives me his usual goodbye hug and that helps lift my spirits alot.

To say I've been distracted all day is an understatement.

I know Christian's wife is moving back into Escala today and I can't help but be gutted by it.

He's been trying to explain to me how he needs to help Jess.

My head gets that she needs help. My head gets that she is fighting for her freedom after she was viciously attacked by Rob Rogers. Of course my head gets it. My mind, body, and soul can so easily empathize with what she's going through. It's my heart that is having the problem.

My heart doesn't understand why she has to move back into Escala with him. My heart doesn't understand why he has to halt the divorce proceedings. My heart doesn't understand why the man I love has to go back to his wife when he made promises to me.

 _God how pathetic do I sound believing the promises of a married man?_

 _Was I wrong about him? Was I always just a distraction for him? Was I always just a space holder for his wife?_

I shake those thoughts away. I know Christian and I know I mattered to him.

My mind keeps drifting back to the conversation we had three nights ago.

He had surprised me, showing up at my door with groceries so that we may have dinner together.

We had recently discovered that Mac and Cheese was high on both our list of favorite comfort foods and he came over to make it.

The simple dish took twice as long to make since we spent most of the time playing around in the kitchen instead of cooking. He kept distracting me by coming up behind me and nuzzling my neck knowing that I was ticklish there.

We were having so much fun.

I am still so angry with him for giving me that perfect date just to drop his bomb on me at the end of it.

 _"_ _Baby," he called for my attention as we sat cuddled on my couch. "I need to talk to you."_

 _"_ _Christian, what it is," I asked him after he sat silent for too long._

 _I sat up so that I may look at him._

 _"_ _It's Jess," he told me as he absentmindedly played with a lock of my hair._

 _"_ _Did something else happen to her," I asked him._

 _"_ _No, there is no change with her," he answered me. "In fact, she's being released from the hospital soon."_

 _"_ _Tell me they are not putting her in jail," I asked him, hating the thought._

 _I don't know her but I know the Sleazy Rob car guy. I know for a fact he tried to hurt her. The thought of him makes my skin crawl._

 _"_ _No she's not going to jail," he told me. "Her lawyer was able to get her bail."_

 _"_ _That's good," I told him, relieved for her and the twins._

 _"_ _It is," he agreed with me, "but there are stipulations."_

 _"_ _What type of stipulation, "I asked him, already dreading the sound of it._

 _"_ _The major one being that she has to remain in my care," he told me._

 _"_ _What does that mean," I asked him, already knowing, but hoping against hope for a good answer._

 _"_ _She's going to live at Escala," he told me._

 _"_ _No," I told him shaking my head. "Christian, tell me you're not serious?"_

 _"_ _I wish I could," he told me, sadly. "That's not all, Ana."_

 _"_ _That's not all," I repeated to him. "What else could there be?"_

 _"_ _I had to halt the divorce proceedings," he told me._

 _"You..._ _You told me it was over between the two of you," I reminded him. "I believed you."_

 _"_ _It is," he told me. "Ana, I swear it is."_

 _"_ _Then why are you doing this," I asked him, sounding like a child even to my own ears._

 _"_ _She needs help Ana," he told me._

 _"_ _Yes, I know she does," I agreed with him. "I don't mean to sound cold, Christian, but why does it have to be you?"_

 _"_ _It just does. Ana," he called to me. "Baby, the sooner I help her, the sooner you and I can be together."_

 _"_ _How can we be together when you are not even divorcing her," I asked him. "We are going in the opposite direction._ _ **You**_ _are going in the opposite direction away from_ _ **me**_ _."_

 _"_ _Ana, that's not true," he told me. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."_

 _"_ _I knew this was a mistake," I said more to myself than to him._

 _"_ _Please, don't say that," he told me._

 _"_ _How could I not say it, Christian," I told him. "It's true."_

 _"_ _Ana," he said to me. "This doesn't change what's going on between you and me. I won't let this come between us."_

 _"_ _You expect to keep seeing me while you're living with her. Married to her with no divorce pending," I asked him. "My God, who are you?"_

 _"_ _The divorce is still happening it's just delayed until after the trial is through," he said to me, desperately._

 _"_ _How long is that," I asked him. "That trial could take months and meanwhile you are with Jess, remembering what it's like to be married to her. Falling in love with her all over again, while I'm stuck being your dutiful side piece…."_

 _"_ _That is not going to happen," he interrupted me._

 _"_ _You say that now," I told him. "Give it a few family dinners and then get back to me."_

 _"_ _Ana," he called to me as I stood up to put distance between us. "You are misunderstanding me. She and I are not getting back together. I am just helping her to get well."_

 _"_ _Forgive me if I don't believe you anymore," I told him._

 _"_ _Damnit Ana," he barked at me in frustration. "You think I want this? It was either this or jail. My hands were tied."_

 _"_ _She has family," I barked back at him. "A mom and dad right, why can't you let her live with them."_

 _"_ _I can't," he told me._

 _"_ _Because you don't want to," I accused. "Because deep down inside you still love her."_

 _"_ _That's not true," he told me. "I never fucking loved her, Ana!"_

 _"_ _THEN WHY," I demanded to know. "Why can't she live with her family? Why does it have to be YOU?"_

 _"_ _BECAUSE SHE'S MY WIFE," he yelled at me, causing me to take a step back._

 _I flinched like he just struck me._

 _"_ _No, God, Ana," he told me, realizing what he'd said. "I didn't mean it that way."_

 _"_ _But you're right though," I told him, broken down from the reality of it. "She is your wife."_

 _"_ _But you're the one I…" he started_

 _"_ _What," I laughed. "What, your mistress? Well no, not really, seeing as though we never even had sex, so you never really cheated on her did you? So basically, I was nothing. I am nothing."_

 _"_ _Ana, Baby, you're everything," he whispered to me._

 _"_ _Please don't call me that," I begged him. "I can't stand it."_

 _"_ _Ana, Please," he begged me._

 _"_ _I need you go," I told him._

 _"_ _No," he told me. "No, not until I make you understand."_

 _"_ _I understand," I tell him. "I get that you need to be there for her. I know that you would have a hard time living with yourself if you didn't do everything you could to help your…Jess. I know you'd always wonder what if."_

 _"_ _Ana," he reaches for me but I move farther away._

 _"_ _I'm going to be okay, Christian, you needn't worry about me, but please," I whisper. "Please just go."_

 _"_ _Ana, please don't leave me," he begged me._

 _"_ _I'm not the one leaving," I told him. "You're the one who's leaving me."_

 _"_ _I have to...," his voice broke. "Ana, I have to do this."_

 _"I know," I told him._

 _He moves to touch me and I move away._

 _"_ _Don't," I told him. "Don't make this any harder for me than it has to be. Please, please just go!"_

 _"_ _I'll go," he whispers to me, unable to find his voice. "But I'm not giving up on us. We are going to be together, Ana."_

 _I shake my head no as I go over and hold open my front door._

 _I refuse to look at him as he reluctantly walks past me and out the door._

 _"Ana," he turned around, trying once more to make me listen._

 _"Good bye, Christian," I told him. With the finality in my words clear, I closed the door._

 _I went back to it moments later when I heard the familiar knocking._

 _"_ _Jose," I cried when I opened the door for him and Derrick to come in._

 _"_ _I know Mija," Jose said as he hugged me while I cried. "Shhhh, it's okay."_

"I'm out of here, Ana," Sandy says pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow," I tell her.

...

I grab my things and drive over to Mercy Hospital.

I make my way to the psychiartrists' offices.

I pass Hilda, the receptionist, without a word and she calls after me, hot on my heels as I continue to walk.

I open his office door to find Brandon hard at work at his desk.

"Miss. Steele, you can't just barge in here," Hilda scolds me.

Brandon looks up startled from his computer until he sees me and smiles wide.

"It's alright, Hilda," he tells her and she quickly leaves.

"Sorry, Hilda," I tell her and I shrug playfully at him for my rude interruption.

"What's wrong," he asks me.

"I need your help," I tell him.

"I thought you agreed to let Dr. Townsend help you," he reminds me.

"She sucks," I tell him and he laughs.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Seeee, my pinterest followers who were upset about the break up photos, it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be, right?**

 **Thank you all for reading and reviewing.**


	26. Moment Of Clarity

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty-Six**

 **Moment Of Clarity**

 **Ana's POV**

"She can't be that bad," he tells me pointing to a chair for me to sit down. "You've only had a few sessions with her."

"Yeah and now my relationship has turned to crap," I tell him, flopping down dramatically in the chair. "No, crap is too nice for what my relationship has turned into."

"What's happened now," he says concerned.

"Other than the fact that Christian is back with his wife," I tell him. "Nothing."

"I read about her troubles," he told me. "I was hoping it was exaggerated to gain interest."

"No," I tell him. "Unfortunately it's mostly true, taking away some of the embellishments the gossip magazines use to hype it up."

"Ana," he starts.

"I don't want to hear it," I interrupt him.

"What am I going to say," he asks me.

"The same thing Derrick said," I tell him. "Married men suck."

"Well," he says. "Yes, but I wouldn't have put it quite like that."

I sigh deeply.

"He has obligations, Ana," he explains to me about what it means to be married.

"Who's side are you on," I ask him.

"Yours, of course," he tells me. "But I don't want you thinking that you did something wrong here."

"If I was normal I could have held on to him," I tell him.

I frown in confusion as he drops his pen angrily and glares at me.

"I knew it," he says to me shaking his head in disapproval. "I knew when you came barging in here that's what you were thinking."

"How could I not," I tell him. "If I was able to give him what men want, he would have thought better about walking away from me."

"Don't make this out to be as trivial as using sex to keep a man, Ana," he yells at me.

"I thought shrinks weren't supposed to get mad at their patients," I tell him.

"You are not my patient," he reminds me. "You are my friend. And right now you are pissing me off."

"What," I say in disbelief. . "How?"

"You are thinking so little of yourself," he tells me, "and of Christian, for that matter, unless he told you that was the reason…"

"No," I interrupt him. "He said what you said. He feels obligated to help her with the trial and everything else. He wanted us to still be together actually. I just couldn't do that."

"You shouldn't," he told me. "That has a potential to get ugly and that's not what you need right now."

"What do you mean," I ask him.

"Even if he has no romantic ties to her anymore, she is still his wife and he would have had to make her a priority sometimes over you. That would have left you feeling bitter towards him and rightly so. Now that the media spotlight is on him, he would have had to be even more careful in taking you out in public, which would have made you feel even worse about your already strained relationship."

I nod in agreement.

"You need to step back and work on yourself while he works on fixing his situation," he tells me, "and when or if you two have your ducks in a row, you'll be better prepared to handle it."

"You have big expectations for us," I tell him, sarcastically.

"No, I have big expectations for **you** ," he tells me. "Quite frankly, if you never see him again, I would be happy with that."

"Why," I ask him.

"I believe you deserve better," he tells me. "But I know you don't want to hear that right now, so I won't go there with you."

"You never said this to me before," I tell him. "You've always been supportive of everything."

"I was your therapist," he tells me. "My job was to help you figure things out. I couldn't tell you what to do in your relationships, unless of course I felt there was danger there. In all honesty, he was helping you to open up. Now, forget all of this self pity and let me take you out tonight."

"Im not in the mood," I tell him.

"That is the perfect time to go," he tells me. "A new bar just opened up and you are coming to check it out with me."

"No," I tell him.

"Come on," he coaxes me. "Everyone else is going, it'll be fun."

"I'm just going to stay at home," I tell him. "Maybe catch up on some reading."

"Ana Steele," he chastises me. "You are a twenty-two year old single woman. You are going to this bar and have a few drinks, like any other normal college age girl, even if I have to drag you by your hair."

"Okay," I tell him, giving up. "Meet me at my place in about an hour?"

"Perfect," he tells me. "It's a date."

"So you're paying," I joke with him.

"That's usually how dates work," he tells me.

"Careful," I tell him. "I may run up quite a tab."

"I can afford it," he tells me confidently.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," I tell him opening the door to his office and leaving.

"Like that's ever stopped me," he yells after me and I laugh.

….

 **Christian's POV**

"I remember her," Jess says as she sits on Phoebe's bed, holding a picture of herself.

"That's Pheeb's favorite picture of you," I say, sitting down next to her to look at it.

She is sitting in a long white dress and her long hair is styled to perfection as it cascades down over her shoulder. It was taken a few weeks after we found out she was pregnant with Andy.

It is a perfect picture of who she used to be, vibrant and happy.

"You'll find her again," I tell her.

"You seem so sure," she huffs.

"I am," I tell her. "You need to be sure too. You still have a lot of life left to live. I know it's hard to see that now, but in time you will."

"How did you see it," she asks me. "How did you get past losing him? How do you wake up and not be torn apart?"

"Jess, I still struggle with it," I tell her honestly. "I'm better, but I haven't quite made it back to the man I was before. I don't think anyone could after a loss like that. But we can't let it consume us. We have to be healthy for Teddy and Phoebe. We owe Andy that."

She nods in agreement.

"Dr. Townsend thinks the medication she has me on will help clear my fog," she tells me.

"It helps a lot of people she told me," I say to her, "that and a lot of support."

"What is it costing you to support me," she asks.

"You let me worry about that," I tell her.

"That much huh," she says, sadly. "I'm sorry…God, that's all I seem to be saying these days. I should be thanking you for not giving up on me even after I gave up on myself."

"You are my best friend," I shrug and she smiles. "It's as simple as that."

"I wish," she says. "Nothing is ever that simple."

"Come on," I tell her. "The twins will be here soon and Gail is making you favorites for dinner."

"Okay," she tries to laugh.

"Are you okay with eating with the kids alone," I ask her. "I have a business meeting."

"This late," she asks me.

"The brown nosers want to take me to this new bar that opened up," I tell her. "I would reschedule but I put them off twice already. Ros is after me to close the deal."

"No its fine," she tells me. "I would like to spend some time with them, anyway."

"Nurse Moore will be here and so will Gail," I tell her. "My cell will be on, if you get overwhelmed…"

"I'm sure I won't," she tells me.

"You've already broke down twice since you've been home," I tell her.

"This is not my home and besides, I think I've gotten it all out of my system," she tells me, confidently.

I raise an eyebrow at her.

"What," she says.

"I just thought you'd take advantage of me," I tell her, only half joking.

"Get over yourself," she tells me in mock offense. "I don't chase men who don't want to be chased."

"Well, okay then," I laugh.

"I think that's the medication talking," she says, surprised at herself.

"I think, finally it's you talking," I tell her.

"Mommy," we hear Phoebe call for her. I get off the bed and put distance between Jess and I before she and Teddy make it into the bedroom.

"Hi, my babies," she tells them as they both run into her arms.

"Gail told us to come and get you for dinner," Teddy tells us.

"Okay," Jess says. "Let's go. I'm really hungry."

"Me too," Phoebe says as we leave her bedroom.

I hear Jess take in a sharp breath as she watches the twins quickly descend the stairs.

"They're fine, Jess," I whisper to her, trying to curb her climacophobia.

She holds on to the rail for dear life as she slowly descends the stairs herself.

….

"Jess," mom says to her as we come into the great room. "How are you, my dear?"

"I'm okay Grace, thank you," she tells her, accepting my mom's embrace.

"Are you all settled in," my dad asks her.

"As well as I can be for just visiting," she tells him.

"But this is nothing like mommy's place," she says for the twin's benefit.

"You have a big backyard," Phoebe agrees.

"With a swing set," Teddy chimes in.

I roll my eyes in amusement at the two of them.

"It is a lovely home," my mom agrees.

"Are we still going to have a pool for the summer, mommy," Phoebe asks her.

"Well, we have to see what the judge says, babygirl," Jess tells her.

"Why don't you all get washed up so you and mommy can have dinner," I tell them.

"Okay," they say and run off.

"We'll leave you all to your night," Dad says.

"Actually, Carrick, I was hoping to talk to you," Jess says. "Why don't you both stay for dinner since Christian won't be joining us, unless you have other plans."

"Not at all," Mom says, jumping at the chance to spend time with Jess and the twins.

"I'll leave you all to it then," I tell them. I go to say goodnight to the twins and tell them I'll see them in the morning since I plan to be home well after their bedtime.

…

 **Ana's POV**

I give myself a once over in my full length mirror before I go to the door for Brandon.

I am wearing a beige and gold sequin halter top and beige skinny jeans with matching stilettos that I picked out all by myself.

 _Jose would be proud of me._

"What's up Doc," I greet Brandon in my best Bugs Bunny voice as I open the door.

"That was awful," he tells me and I laugh. "But you look great."

"So do….you," I tell him as I inspect his outfit.

"What," he says smoothing down his beige pull over sweater self- consciously.

"We're matching," I tell him.

"Looks that way," he tells me.

"Maybe I should change," I tell him.

"What, why?" he asks.

"It looks like we planned it," I tell him. "That just screams cheesy."

"Don't be silly," he tells me. "Nobody will pay attention to that."

"You're probably right," I tell him.

"Always," he says and I roll my eyes.

"I was expecting Jose," he says looking around.

"He is already at the bar," I tell him. "He, Derrick, and Char went ahead. You really should talk to your sister more."

"Uhh… no," he tells me and I laugh.

….

 **Jess's POV**

Gail has out done herself with dinner. She's made oven roasted honey glazed pork chops, smashed potatoes, homemade biscuits and sweet peas.

It feels both foreign and familiar sitting at the dinner table with the kids and my in laws. I've done it more times that I can count over the seven years I was married to Christian. Usually when I planned a meal with his parents and he got caught up at work.

 _Why am I referring to us as was married when we still are?_

"I really hope the judge says we can have our pool mommy," Phoebe still frets about a far away summer instead of Christmas and I laugh a real laugh at her despite the grim reality of what the judge might say.

"Well, Babygirl, if he says no I'm sure Daddy will take you out on the boat for most of the summer," I assure her.

"Ms. Steele likes the boat," Teddy says. "Maybe she can come with us again."

"Ms. Steele," I say to him thinking I must have heard wrong, "your teacher?"

"Uh huh," Phoebe says as she tries to cut her pork chop.

"Oh I'm sure it was a school thing," Grace tries to make it sound insignificant as she reaches over to help her.

"No it was last Sunday," Teddy corrects his Grandmother's thinking. "We had bagels at the coffee shop."

"She likes my peppermint hot chocolate," Phoebe exclaims happily.

"She likes my plain one too," Teddy tries to one up his sister.

"That's enough of that you too," Carrick tells them.

I look at him as he looks at me guiltily and that's when it hits me.

 _Christian's girlfriend is the twin's teacher._

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Ana come and have a shot with us," Derrick calls me over to his table as I walk back from the bar with my and Brandon's fuzzy navels.

I stop short when I see Kate now sitting with them. My head whips around the bar for any sign of Christian.

"Don't worry," Kate says to me. "It's just me here tonight. Elliot had to fly down to LA and I decided to come out and have a drink."

"Okay, good," I say as I relax. "Just one and then I have to get back to Brandon."

"Gurl," Jose says to me. "I feel neglected. You wouldn't come out for me, but you came out for Brandon."

He pauses to check him out.

"Okay, I don't blame you," he changes his mind. "Hell, he would make me come out."

Kate laughs uncontrollably at Jose's joke.

"You know what I'm saying girlfriend," he says to Kate as he gives her a double high five.

I laugh at them and down whatever it is he gives me.

"And did you two color coordinate this date tonight," Derrick says, checking Brandon and my beige outfits.

"Damnit," I say to him. "I knew someone would notice."

"I think it's cute," Jose says. "And ya'll look damn hot."

I sip my fuzzy navel and decide it's too much for me.

"Here take this," I say, giving it to Jose before I leave the table.

"Ooo, thank you," he says to me as I go.

I catch sight of Char over in the corner with her new guy and I stick my tongue out at her.

"I don't know how you are drinking that thing," I say to Brandon as he drinks his fuzzy navel.

"How many of these have we had," Brandon asks me as the waitress brings over another round of mini patron tequila bottles, compliments of the house, she always tells us.

"I don't know," I tell him laughing giddily for no reason so I conclude I must be drunk. "But they are too cute."

We toast each other as we down our shots.

"See," he says to me. "Aren't you glad you came out tonight?"

"I am actually," I tell him. "We should do this more often."

"Sounds like a plan," he tells me.

"I need to pee," I whisper to him.

"Can you make it," he says to me as I get up and teeter from side to side a little.

"I'm good," I give him thumbs up and walk to the bathroom.

"I really need to complain to whoever builds these establishments to make more bathrooms," I say, literally to myself, as I wait in line. "They supply us with liquor and make us wait in long lines to pee."

My cell phone goes off for the first time tonight. I sigh already knowing who it is since everyone I know is here with me tonight except, ironically the one I want to be here.

"Christian," I answer the call, kicking myself for it.

 _I'll just blame it on the alcohol._

"Are you having a good time tonight, Ana," he asks me and I laugh at his question.

"I haven't talked to you in, what three days, and that is what you want to know," I ask him.

"It just looks like you're having a good time," he says to me.

"Looks like," I repeat, unnerved. "Where are you?"

I look around quickly even though the effort is making me dizzy.

"Where," I say to him again.

…

 **Christian's POV**

"Thank you for meeting us here tonight, Mr. Grey," Ned Steiner, The head of Sundown Solar Inc. says to me.

"Not a problem," I tell him as I take the beer he is offering me.

Normally I don't drink beer, but it's Adnams Explorer, the only beer I actually enjoy.

 _They must have done some homework. I'm impressed._

I sit back and enjoy my beer while they run through their well rehearsed spiel. It really isn't necessary as Ros has already researched them as only she can and has given the green light to cover them with the GEH umbrella.

The only thing I need from them now is to agree to conform to the standards of representing my company.

I'm about to interrupt them and cut to the chase when she catches my eye. I swear she is like a blaring siren and I can't help but be attracted to her.

My heart begins to beat again after three miserable days of being dead and it takes everything I've got not to leap over the twenty or so tables that separate us.

The elation I feel at seeing her quickly plummets when I see the fucker that is walking in step beside her.

The relaxed mood that was with me a moment ago has quickly turned tense as I sit with a rigid body and clinched jaw.

Sundown Solar senses the shift and are now sweating bullets. They frantically start to back pedal as they think I am unhappy with what they are proposing.

I pay them no mind as my attention is on that fucker with Ana and the lopsided grin I want to wipe off his face. They are actually wearing cheesy matching outfits.

 _Why the hell didn't I ever think to do that with her?_

I call the waitress over and have her deliver a round of mini tequila shots to them, well him, in hopes that I'll get him inebriated, but to my frustrations Ana continues to drink them.

 _Why is she throwing so much caution to the wind with this guy? I offered her a glass of white wine our first dinner together and she looked like I was trying to take advantage of her._

I look at their interaction and the familiarity pisses me off.

I watch as she is called over to the table by Jose.

 _Thank fuck he is there to watch out for her._

To my disappointment, he doesn't seem at all concerned and that's when it hits me.

 _Brandon fucking Ramsey!_

….

 **Jess's POV**

"Jess," Carrick says to me as we sit in Christian's office. The twins are all ready for bed and Grace is telling them a story tonight. "What can I do for you?"

"I have a favor to ask of you," I tell him.

"Jess, about what the twins said," he begins to explain.

"Its fine, I know my babies love to talk," I wave it away as unimportant. "The thing is, Carrick, I need to plan for what may happen if things don't go my way in the trial. I need to plan for if it does. I know Christian is prepared to see this through with me no matter the outcome and I am eternally grateful to him. It would be so easy...so...comfortable for me to sit back and let him do that. But the cost is too great. I think he has done enough, don't you?"

"Jess," he begins.

"I've made some decisions and I am going to need your help," I tell him before I lose my resolve. "My mind is clearer now, but I don't know how long this moment of clarity will last, so we need to hurry."

...

 **Christian's POV**

 _Get a fucking grip Grey. Let's not have a repeat performance of the last time you jumped to this conclusion._

I see my chance as she goes off to the bathroom.

"Excuse me for one moment gentlemen," I tell my table as I get up to follow her, keeping in the shadows so Kate, Jose, and Derrick can't see me.

"Come on baby, answer," I will her to pick up my call as I see her look at her phone.

"Christian," she answers my call dryly.

 _I'll just blame that on the alcohol._

"Are you having a good time tonight, Ana," I ask her.

"I haven't talked to you in, what three days, and that is what you want to know," she says to me.

"It just looks like you're having a good time," I tell her and watch her stunned reaction as my words sink in.

"Looks like," she repeats looking around trying to find me."Where are you?"

"Where," she says to me again when I hesitate to answer her.

"Talk to me," I ask her.

"No," she tells me and begins walking away from where I'm standing. "Why are you here?"

"I had a business meeting," I tell her. "Stop walking."

"In a bar," she asks me and stops.

"Yes," I tell her. "I didn't know you were going to be here, baby. I didn't know you were going to be here with him."

"How long have you been here," she asks me.

"I saw you when you walked in," I tell her. "You look so good."

"Stop it," she tells me.

She turns around and walks back toward the bathrooms.

She hangs up her phone when she spots me standing close by.

"You couldn't just let me enjoy myself tonight, could you," she tells me, angrily.

I tower over her as she stands before me, but she is intimidating as hell. Drunken Ana is not to be messed with.

"Ana," I begin.

"I'm trying to forget you, Christian, and you can't even let me do that," she spits out.

She stops ranting and begins to sway back and forth.

"Ana," I call to her as I put my hand on her shoulder to steady her.

"You're spinning," she tells me quickly.

"Baby," I call to her.

"I'm going to pass out," she says.

"Right now," I ask her and her knees buckle as she falls unconscious in my arms.

"Damnit, Ana!"

….

 **Tuesday December 8, 2015**

 **Ana's POV**

"Good you're awake," Christian tells me as he enters my bedroom with a food tray.

I look around at the room and then at myself to see that I am in a my pajamas.

"Did you undress me," I ask him.

He smirks as my face flames red.

"Charlotte did," he tells me, putting me out of my misery and I breathe easier.

"Here take these," he gives me two Advil and hands me a cold glass of orange juice.

"Mmmm," I say as I drink it, and then catch myself when he eyes me.

"Where is Brandon," I ask him. "What the hell happened?"

"Brandon is passed out across the hall," he tells me. "And you passed out so I brought you home and Charlotte helped me put you to bed."

"You've been here all night," I ask him.

He nods.

"I wasn't going to leave you here passed out," he tells me.

"Where did you sleep," I ask him and he points to the other side of my bed.

"I didn't touch you, Ana," he clarifies.

"It never entered my mind that you did," I tell him and he nods in relief.

"Eat this," he hands me plain toast and coffee. "You have to be at work in a few hours."

"Oh God," I groan. "What was I thinking?"

"I have no idea," he has the nerve to scold me. "When I was ordering the tequila, I didn't think you'd drink them all."

"You ordered," I tell him, "why?"

"I was trying to keep Brandon drunk and away from you," he tells me.

"What," I say confused as I take a bite of toast.

"And exactly how was that suppose to work," I mumble with my mouth full.

"I don't know," he admits. "I wasn't thinking clearly. That happens when you're around."

He takes a bite of the toast I'm holding and I stop in mid-chew.

"Don't say things like that to me Christian," I tell him.

"It's true," he tells me as he caresses my cheek.

On its own accord, my body responds to him and I lean into his hand.

I move away from him and get out of bed to gain distance and strength.

"I need you to leave me alone Christian," I tell him, sure of my conviction.

"I wish I knew how to do that," he tells me, running his fingers through his hair. "I wish I knew how to walk away from you, Ana. But it's damn near impossible when I know that's not what either of us wants."

He stalks up to me and cups my face in his hands. He wipes at my tears that are freely falling with his thumbs as he presses his lips into mine.

"Baby, please," he begs. "Please don't cry. I can't stand knowing I've made you cry."

"Christian, I love you," I confess to him. "I know I shouldn't, but I do."

"No, Ana," he looks at me as if I've just broken his heart. "You can't love me. Not after I've hurt you this much. I never meant to hurt you, baby, and I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you once I'm free."

"Christian," I begin. "What are you saying?"

"I won't bother you anymore," he tells me.

"Christian," I tell him.

"When this is over," he continues. "I'm coming back and I'm going to fight for you and if by some miracle you decide that I'm worthy of you, I'll never let you go again."

…..

 **Jess's POV**

"Gail," I call for her as she clears away our breakfast dishes.

I wait for the twins to be out of earshot as they run to get ready for school.

"Will you please tell Christian I needed to run an errand this morning? I know he's not home yet, but I'm sure he'll be here to see the kids off to school," I tell her.

"Of course, Mrs. Grey," she tells me. "Where shall I tell him you're going?"

"Its best that you don't know," I tell her.

She and I stay quiet as my nurse comes in to make sure I take my medication as ordered by the court.

"I'll be back in no time," I tell her as the nurse does what I am guessing is charting on her computer. "Let's go Ryan."

"Yes, Ma'am," he says to me reluctantly and enters the elevator with me. "Can I at least know where we're going?"

"To have a meeting with my husband's girlfriend, Ms. Steele," I tell him and laugh to myself as he nearly passes out.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 ***Climacophobia, for those of you who don't know and don't feel like looking it up, is a fear of falling down stairs due to a traumatic incident involving them.**

 ***I will be without power for most of tomorrow so I will be unable to write. Updates will be delayed by a day or so.**

 ***So instead of Sunday, it may be Monday or Tuesday before I can update again.**

 ***Thanks to all of you, as always, for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following.**

 ***Don't forget to check out pinterest.**


	27. Weight Of The World

**I was able to finish this chapter tonight. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty-Seven**

 **Weight Of The World**

 **...**

 **Ana's POV**

"I want so much to believe that." I tell him.

"Then do," Christian tells me.

"And then what," I ask him. "Stay miserable and pining for you?"

He shakes his head no.

"If I could snap my fingers and be the man you need me to be, I would in a heartbeat," he tells me. "I hate myself right now, more than you ever could….."

"I don't hate you," I tell him in exasperation. "I just told you how I felt. Did you not hear me or do you not care?"

"I heard you, Ana," he whispers to me. "And of course, I care. I know I don't deserve your love right now, but please, don't you think for a moment I don't feel the same way about you. You have had my heart since the moment I saw you walking toward me with that butterfly costume on. If I'm honest with myself, you've probably had it since I saw you walking in front of me that night before class. If I was to go there with you now, I wouldn't be able to stay away from you like you need me to."

"You are not doing a very good job of it now," I tell him. "It's only been three days and you are talking about months."

"I know," he breathes out and runs his fingers through his hair. "I don't know how I'm going to manage it. The thought of not seeing you for two weeks over Christmas break was unbearable to me. But I will do better. I will do it if it means never making you cry again."

He steps back to give me space.

"Why did you just tell me all that," I ask him, "If your purpose is not to make me cry?"

"Because I am dying without you Ana," he tells me.

"Good," I tell him, bitterly.

He hangs his head in defeat.

"I didn't mean that," I relent.

"It's true though," he gives my words back to me. "It's no more than what I deserve."

"It's not," I tell him. "I shouldn't make you feel guilty for honoring a commitment that you made long before you met me. Your devotion to people that you care about is one of the things that I love about you. I loved benefiting from it when it was all about me and now I just hate losing out because of it. I know I'm being selfish, but I hate even the possibility of losing you."

"You haven't and you won't," he tells me. "My future is with you. My heart, my body, my soul, it all belongs to you, no one else. There is no one else for me, Ana. I know you don't believe me and that's okay. I promise I will gain your trust again. I will be a man that is worthy of you Ana."

"You already are," I tell him. "And there lies the problem."

"If you need anything," he begins. "You can call me or even Taylor if …."

"I know," I tell him.

"Can I at least speak if I run into you," he asks me.

"I would be upset if you didn't," I tell him, honestly.

He nods.

"I'll see you later then," he says, reluctant to leave.

"Laters," I tell him and he smirks at me.

….

"You okay," Brandon comes in the kitchen where I'm having my second cup of coffee and sits beside me. "I would have come over sooner but Jose blocked the door."

"Why," I ask him.

"Apparently, 'The man' needed to make his peace with you," he tells me, air quoting Jose.

"Sorry," I laugh. "Jose is a big fan of 'The Man.' But, I'm sure you've worked that out."

"I have and it's fine," he tells me.

"God, you look like shit," I tell him as I get up to get him coffee.

"Gee thanks," he laughs, savoring the cup.

"What happened to your hair," I run the palm of my hand over his shaved head.

"My annoying little sister has pranked me," he explains.

"Oh no," I laugh.

"That's what I get for passing out around her," he complains.

"So are you going to get rid of that box you've had over there for the past few days or should I help you pack everything up," he tells me. "I'll go get the marionette."

"Touch it and die," I tell him and he laughs.

"I take it since you are as giddy as hell right now, even though you are fighting a hangover, he really did make his peace with you," he asks me, seriously.

"He did," I tell him. "He made me a promise."

"You think he's going to keep it," Brandon asks me.

"He hasn't broken one yet," I tell him.

"So you are waiting," he asks me.

"No," I tell him. "I had fun last night with all of my friends, at least from what I remember, and I want to do more of that. I am also going to do as you suggested and work on myself. I'll just let whatever happens happen."

"Atta girl," he says to me and I laugh. "So are you up with going to New York with me?"

"When," I ask him.

"For New Years," he tells me. "I've been wanting to talk to you about it. I'm thinking about moving my practice there. What better time to check it out than on New Year's Eve."

"You are actually moving to New York," I ask him, surprised. "Char hasn't said anything."

"She doesn't know," he tells me. "Nobody knows except you. You know how my family is. Once they find out I will never get any peace to make the decision myself. So what do you say?"

"We are suppose to spend the night at your parent's place," I remind him. "Won't they get suspicious?"

"Hmm, Mom and Dad's or Time Square in New York," he pretends to think. "No, they would totally get it."

"Okay, true," I laugh.

…

 **Christian's POV**

"Kind of early for a meeting," I tell my Dad as he meets me at the elevator. We ride up to the penthouse together. "I still have to see the twins off to school."

"I know son, but it couldn't wait," he tells me.

"Shit," I say when I see the text from Ryan.

"What is it," Dad says concerned.

"Ryan is in route to the twin's school," I tell him. "Jess is having a meeting with Ana."

"Leave her be," he tells me, taking my cell before I can text Ryan to turn around.

"I can't let her meet Ana like this," I explain to him. "If she figures out I'm seeing Ana she may say something. I've already hurt her enough. Dad she doesn't need Jess's crap."

"Jess found out about Ana last night," he tells me.

"Shit, I have to stop her," I tell him.

"I have an idea as to what she is going to say to her," he says. "It's not what you think."

I shake my head negatively.

Christian Trevelyan-Grey," he scolds and reduces me to a teenager again. "You. Will. Leave. Them. Be."

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Ms. Steele, may I come in?"

I turn from writing on the dry erase board to see a woman standing in the doorway of my empty classroom. I know exactly who she is. Her internet photos don't do her justice.

I nod my head yes, unable to articulate sound.

"Mrs. Grey," I start, finding my voice and steeling myself for what's brought her here to see me.

 _Maybe she doesn't know I've been seeing Christian._

"Call me Jess," she tells me, coming inside. "Mrs. Grey probably makes you uncomfortable and that's not my goal. I come in peace."

She holds her hands up in surrender to drive home the point.

 _She knows._

"Only if you call me Ana," I tell her and she nods.

"I won't take up too much of your time, Ana," she tells me. "I know you have class. My kids love your class, by the way."

I smile in spite of myself at her awkward attempt at small talk.

"They are terrific kids," I tell her, offering her a seat to stop her from shifting about self- consciously, as I take a seat at my desk.

"Thank you," she says sitting down.

She takes a minute to regard me and takes a deep breath.

"Oh gosh, where do I begin," she says more to herself than to me.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

"When did you all decide this," I ask my Dad after he tells me Jess has decided to push the divorce through.

"Last night," he tells me. "She and I had a long talk and I swear Christian, it was like seeing a small glimpse of the old Jess. I wasn't convinced that she….you know, that she was thinking clearly, but she convinced me."

"Well I'm not convinced," I tell him, "especially since she's on her way right now to ambush Ana."

"Oh she is doing no such thing," he tells me.

"How do you know," I ask him,"not too long ago you weren't a fan now you are singing her praises."

"You are going to have to trust me on it," he tells me. "Now listen Son, we need to prepare for this trial. I just talked to Rafe. The prosecution is looking to move quickly and we already lost a week with Jess being in treatment."

"I have my guys on it," I tell him. "One of Taylor's shady characters is doing some digging. Taylor is talking to the neighbor."

"What neighbor," he asks me.

"The day I was pissed and beating Jess's door down, there was a neighbor of hers that came out to see what the matter was," I tell him. "I saw her looking out of her window at us like it was a normal routine for her. I just got a feeling she'd seen it before."

"One of her neighbors called the police," he tells me. "But they've already talked to both her neighbors and they are saying they saw nothing."

"Taylor has a way of helping people remember," I tell him.

"If we can get someone who is credible to say they saw something, it will go a long way in Jess's defense," he tells me. "I pray it works out."

"Me too," I tell him.

He moves to stand with his back to me looking out the window in thought.

"Jess wants this divorce quick," he says with his back to me. "I won't lie to you, it looks bad, but she is prepared to take the hit."

"Then I won't agree to do it," I tell him.

"It's her decision," he spins around to look at me. "You and Rafe went ahead and made all of these decisions about her life without even giving her a word of say."

"She wasn't capable of making decisions," I remind him.

"Well now she is and she has decided," he tells me. "I for one am going to support her, if it helps right this wrong. Christian, I can't let you throw your life away. Your Mother and I have stood by and watched and now I must speak. You are in love with someone else. Jess has finally gotten to a place of acceptance. I know you want to help her for her sake as well as the twins, but at some point in your life you must be selfish and this. is. that. time. Jess is giving you an out. Take it."

"Where is the paperwork," I ask him.

"She wants to talk to you first," he tells me, "if I show it to you now you most certainly will not agree."

"Fuck," I say to him and he nods at the sentiment.

….

I usher the kids and Anderson to the elevator so that I may take them to school and check on Ana and Jess.

Christian," Dad says. "Don't do anything."

"No promises, Dad," I tell him as the elevator doors close.

…..

 **Ana's POV**

"I know that you are Christian's girlfriend. The kids kind of let it out of the bag," she tells me

"I was never officially…. and, we aren't seeing each other anymore," I tell her as a matter of fact.

"I figured," she says to me. "It's been hard to escape the devastating looks from Christian the last few days. Surprisingly I'm not at all happy about it as I once would have been. I don't know how much he's told you about us and me and our marriage."

"He doesn't talk about it much," I tell her.

"We were best friends through-out school, thanks to our parent's friendship," she tells me. "One drunken night at prom and I got pregnant with the twins. Christian saw the night as a mistake, but I'd always loved him so, needless to say, I felt differently. We married before they were born, me for love, him for more being pushed by his dad than love."

She takes a breath.

"We made the best of it," she tells me. "We had a good life..."

"I really don't think I need to hear this or why you feel the need to tell me this, Jess," I tell her, not liking where this is going at all.

"Because I've hurt Christian in insurmountable ways," she tells me. "I can never make up for it completely but I have to try and I have to start somewhere, so here I am."

"I'm sorry, I just don't get it. If you love him as much as it seems you do, then why did you…" I stop to think of the right wording.

"Cheat on him," she says it outright and I nod. "He and I got lost after Andy and I chose the wrong way to handle it."

"Andy," I ask her.

"My God, he hasn't told you," she whispers surprised.

"No," I tell her. "He hasn't mentioned anything."

"Andrew was our infant son," she purges it out quickly. "I was carrying him one night and I tripped and fell down the stairs. We lost him."

Inhale sharply as my heart breaks for her, Christian, and the twins, but my God, most of all her.

"I am so sorry," I tell her and she nods.

"I always thought that if he had lived Christian and I would be together," she tells me. "Saying it to you, I realize now how much I've put on my poor little baby. But I can't keep lying to myself about that any longer. I have to face the fact that we would probably still be divorcing, not under these circumstances, but still just the same."

She looks at the door and I follow her stare.

"I'm expecting Christian to come to your rescue any minute now," she tells me in explanation. "I'm sure he knows by now that I snuck off to see you."

"Oh, I don't think he would..." I begin to tell her, but stop, not even believing it myself.

"As much as you mean to him, he will," she tells me. "I bet he's already talked to your principle solidifying your position here and I wouldn't be surprised if he actually bought the school. He's very protective of those he allows into his world."

"To a fault," she says in afterthought.

"Why would he do all that," I ask her.

"He loves you," she tells me. "I won't delude myself about it anymore. We are both stuck in this terrible situation because I have deluded myself for far too long and I can't do that anymore."

"Jess, Christian…" I start to explain how he wants to help her.

"Christian is torn between doing the right thing and doing what's in his heart," she tells me. "Normally those are both admirable qualities until they conflict. He has chosen to do what he thinks is right."

She shakes her head and leans forward as if she is telling me a secret.

"Blame his parents for it, they raised him that way," she whispers. "Believe me they are kicking themselves in the butt for it right now. I can assure you they are."

"Why are you saying this to me," I ask her confused. "I can't believe we are sitting here and you are telling me that your husband is in love with me, like...it's nothing."

"It is peculiar isn't it," she says to me.

"Very," I tell her, honestly.

"I have to be sure you know that he loves you" she tells me. "Otherwise, you won't agree to do the favor I must ask of you."

"What could you possibly need from me," I ask her.

"You know about my recent troubles with the law," she asks and I nod. "If things don't go my way and I have to spend the next twenty five years in jail, I need you to take care of them for me."

"Them," I ask her.

"The twins," she clarifies.

"Jess," I start, completely blown away by her.

"It will be devastating for my kids, Ana," she says before I can refuse her. "They will need a mother figure. They talk about you all the time. They already care about you a great deal. Christian loves you. You love him. He will make it easy for you. I know it's a lot to ask, but please."

"Wow," I say, as I try to wrap my mind around her, "when you first came through the door….I wasn't expecting this."

"It's a breakthrough for me too," she admits. "I was having dinner last night with my in laws and I started thinking about my marriage and I realized that I thought of it in the past tense."

She looks at the door as if expecting it to open any minute.

"I'll be blunt," she tells me. "If I thought I had one iota of a chance of having a life with Christian and I wasn't about to be carted off to jail, you and I wouldn't be having this conversation. I would probably have my hands around your throat trying to stop you from gouging my eyes out."

I laugh a little in spite of myself.

"And he would totally be worth it," she chuckles.

"Jess, I get that you are afraid of going to jail. Its only right to make provisions but, what if, and I truly pray that it does," I start. "But what if it goes in your favor, then what?"

"Will I be stupid enough to try and hold on to Christian even if he loves you, you mean," she ask me.

"Uh, yeah, I suppose that's the right way to put it," I tell her.

"No. We'll do what we've been doing before I ever blew my life apart and got into this mess," she tells me. "Christian and I will co-parent and this time, I will do everything in my power to not blow it. I slipped up. I let that bastard I was seeing get into my head and I stopped seeing my therapist. I stopped taking the meds I was on. I'm seeing someone new now and things are back on track…."

We hear the door open and look to see a very angry Christian standing there glaring at Jess.

"Mommy," Phoebe runs past him to embrace her mom. "You met Ms. Steele?"

"I sure did, babygirl," Jess tells her.

"Isn't my mom pretty, Ms. Steele," Phoebe asks me, proudly.

"Yes, she is," I tell her, honestly. "She looks just like you."

Phoebe beams under the compliment.

"Mommy isn't Ms. Steele pretty too," she asks Jess.

"Yes, very pretty," Jess says. "I can see why you two like her so much."

"We should go," Christian tells Jess but he never takes his eyes off of me. "Ana has a class to teach."

"Of course," Jess says to him. "You guys be good okay and I'll see you back at Daddy's place."

"Okay," the twins say to her as she gives Phoebe a kiss goodbye.

Teddy scrunches his nose up at a kiss so she gives him a hug instead.

"Please think about what I said, Ana," she asks of me.

"I will," I tell her.

She walks past Christian not even reacting to the evil glare he gives her.

His eyes dart to mine and his brow furrows painfully in question at me.

I smile at him and he instantly relaxes.

He wants to speak to me but my class quickly fills up with students and he is unable, so he leaves me to my day.

….

 **Christian's POV**

"What the hell were you thinking," I ask Jess as we leave the elevator and enter the foyer.

Ryan soon makes himself scarce, rushing off to the security room.

My dad comes out of my office only to see us in heated discussion and ducks back in again.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire Ryan's ass and let them haul you off to jail," I tell her.

"First of all, I hired Ryan if you will recall, so he technically works for me," she tells me going into the great room. "And second of all, fuck you!"

"Fuck me," I repeat as I walk into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. She stands in the doorway watching me.

"You go off and start trouble up AGAIN and it's 'fuck me.' She might never talk to me again and you just made it worse," I tell her.

"I didn't start up anything," she tells me. "We had a nice conversation before you bulldozed in. I needed to ask her a favor."

"I can't believe this shit," I yell at her."What favor did you bother her with? I've already dragged her into this mess."

I gesture between the two of us.

"I swear to God, Jess, if you said anything to make her the least bit uncomfortable..." I threaten.

"I want her to help out with you and the twins if I get convicted," she tells me.

"Jess," I breathe out as all of my anger leaves me.

"No," she says, "it's okay. I don't need the reassurances. Rafe is sure he can get me off if we go to trial, but I don't want to drag you and the kids through that with really no guarantee. It's his death against my word and I know the prosecutor will crucify me. I have given him plenty of ammunition."

"What are you telling me Jess," I ask her.

"I'm going to accept a plea deal," she tells me.

"The hell you are," I tell her. "No way in hell, Jess. That bastard deserved what he got."

"There is no way to prove that Christian," she tells me.

"Taylor has a guy," I tell her, "Ex-FBI. They are both out working on it. He thinks there is something to the bastard."

"Why didn't you tell me this," she asked me.

"I didn't know you were going to plead out and I didn't want to get your hopes up," I tell her. "Hold on a minute and let me see what I can find?"

She nods her head in agreement.

"I'm moving ahead with the divorce," she tells me. "I had a long talk with your dad and he's agreed to help me."

"He told me," I tell her. "He also told me it would look better if we appear reconciled."

"I don't care," she tells me.

"Jess, now is not the time to give up," I tell her.

"I'm not giving up," she tells me. "I'm letting you go."

"I'm not asking you to sacrifice yourself for me," I tell her.

"And I didn't ask you to either, but here we are," she comes back at me.

"Our children need a free mother," I tell her.

"As well as a happy father," she counters me.

"I never said I wasn't happy," I tell her.

"You look like you did that time Buster ran away," she reminds me of losing my dog.

"What? I was twelve," I tell her.

"Same depressing look," she says to me.

"What about the twins," I ask her.

"Aw, for the love of God," she says as she puts her head in her hands and leans on the door frame. "What are we going to do? Spend another month or two miserable? Going through this will be hard enough without you moping around."

"Jess listen to me," I call for her.

"No, you listen to me," she brings her head back up with a look of determination on her face I haven't seen in years.

"I just can't Christian," she tells me. "Stop, just Stop, because I can't do it anymore. The weight of it all is too much for me. It's too much for you. For seven years you had to do it Christian, that's long enough. Now you want to do it for the courts, aren't you tired? Because I am so fucking tired of watching it, I can't let you do it another minute."

I watch as she takes a breath.

"I worked it all out with your Dad," she continues. "I gave you full custody of the twins…"

"Jess..."I interrupt her.

"Christian," she says my name sternly for me to listen. "I let that son of a bitch into my life. I trusted him when every instinct should have told me not to. I would have eventually let him into the kid's lives, if he hadn't hurt me the way that he did. I can't let that happen again. I'm better now, but who's to say how long it will last. I need to make sure they are protected, even if it's from me."

She stops to collect herself.

"I was very generous with my visitation though," she tells me.

She pretends to laugh.

"I took you up on your offer of the penthouse in New York," she tells me. "No alimony."

"For fuck sake Jess," I complain.

"I'm haven't even put a dent in the money I have from the marriage, Christian," she tells me. "And I just sold you my shares of GEH. You were quite generous, by the way, thank you."

"Carrick is waiting for you to sign off on the custody and the distribution of property," she tells me. "The fact that it's all been settled upon means we won't have to go to court. If he has to, he'll file it under abandonment. That coupled with the murder trial of me shooting my lover coming up, is enough to run it through quickly."

"Jess, are you sure about that," I ask her.

"Yes," she tells me firmly. "It will take about six weeks from the date I signed the original paperwork in your office."

I do the calculations in my head.

"My Christmas present to you," she tells me when she sees I've figured out the date.

"Jess, think about this," I tell her.

"I have thought about little else for the last week," she tells me. "I lay in that hospital bed with nothing but my thoughts. They were clear for the first time in a very long time. I will always love you for what you've done for me Christian. Let me do this for you now. Let me do it for me."

She walks over to where I am sitting at the breakfast bar, stunned speechless, and gives me a kiss on my cheek before she walks away.

"Jess," I swallow the lump in my throat enough to call out to her and she turns around to face me.

"Thank you," I tell her and she smiles at me.

"You're welcome," she turns quickly before her tears fall.

"Just, promise me one thing," she says not turning to look at me. "Promise me that you will be happy."

She walks away before I can give her an answer so I follow her.

I enter the great room in time to see her slowly ascend the stairs.

I make it to about the fourth stair when everything hits me.

My ass finds the fifth stair as my legs become too weak to hold me up.

I sit trying to compose myself as the weight of what Jess has done washes over me.

"Now I finally have a chance to be," I whisper as the weight of the world lifts off of my shoulder and I feel the joy of sweet relief.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	28. The Twelve Gifts Before Christmas

**I am keeping it light for the Holiday. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty-Eight**

 **The Twelve Gifts Before Christmas**

 _Five Days Later_

 **Saturday December 12, 2015**

 **Ana's POV**

"What is the point of decorating," I ask Jose as we shop for Christmas decorations for our apartments. "We are not even going to be around in another week."

"I don't care," he says as he puts shinny Christmas balls, garland, and winter wonderland couch throws in our shopping cart. "It is depressing as hell over at my place and yours too."

"If you say so," I tell him.

"Oooo," he says. "We should have a Christmas evening on Friday."

"You think so," I ask him.

"Hell to tha Yeah," he says. "Just the members of the circle only. We can do our gift exchange. Oh my Gawd, you are going to love what I got for you!"

"Don't say another word," I warn him. Jose is notorious for ruining surprises. "I'm going to go look at wrapping paper."

"You still haven't wrapped presents and you are leaving in a week," he tells me. "What are you waiting for, new years?"

"Oh shut up," I tell him as I walk away to find gift wrap.

I don't bother telling him I haven't been much in the Christmas spirit and it's my own stupid fault.

I was looking forward to spending this time with Christian before I left for LA but then things went downhill with Jess getting charged and the divorce being put on hold. I should have believed him when he told me it was over with her. It took her telling me, but by then it was too late. I had already told Christian to stay away from me and he picks this time to actually do it. I guess my crying really got to him.

I sigh as I curse those tears.

I've been so tempted to call him, I get close but then I chicken out, convincing myself that he doesn't want to talk to me anyway. Who could blame him?

 _Way to go, Ana. You are a royal class screw up just like Carla always said you were._

 **…**

 **Christians' POV**

"I can't believe you talked me into coming to this damn store," I complain to Elliot as I follow begrudgingly behind him as he shops for decorations.

"Come on Bro," he tells me. "I need your help with this. It's my holiday to decorate and I don't know shit about shit."

"I don't know why you wouldn't let me hire someone for you," I tell him. "Or just use Gail. She, Jess, and the kids did a great job of at my place."

"Yeah, yeah," he tells me. "We aren't all bizillionaires with decorating housekeepers."

"Except you are," I tell him. "Or was that not Grey Construction right next to GEH in Forbes top 100 companies of 2015 last week?"

"Okay fine, we are not all uppity bizillionaires," he tells me as he reads a text message that just came into his phone.

"Uh..I need wrapping paper," he announces.

"I thought you finished wrapping a day ago," I tell him.

"I forgot one," he tells me.

"I saw the paper a few aisles back," I told him.

"Great, can you go get it," He asks me.

"How the hell am I supposed to know what paper you like," I ask him.

"I trust your taste, bro," he tells me.

"Well that's big of you," I say, leaving him to his shopping.

I head over to where I saw the large aisle staked with wrapping paper.

I turn and stop dead in my tracks when I see Ana standing there. She is holding up two rolls of wrapping paper, studying them, as she tries to decide which one she wants.

I smile at her when she suddenly looks up and sees me standing at the far end of the aisle.I smirk when she nearly drops the wrapping paper in surprise.

"Hi," I say as I walk over to her.

"Hi," she says to me as she tries to fix herself up.

"You look beautiful, Ana," I assure her.

She is wearing a burgundy and white plaid button down shirt that is open to show a white blouse and dark blue jeans. Her hair is pent up off of her shoulders behind her.

"Tha…thank you…Um…wa...what are you doing here," she says to me.

"Elliot," I tell her. "He insisted I help him decorate for Christmas. Wrapping presents?"

She frowns in confusion so I point to the wrapping paper she's holding.

"Oh right, yeah," she says. "I'm late this year. Actually every year, it always sneaks up on me. What about you, are you all done with your shopping?"

"Weeks ago," I tell her and she laughs.

"I forgot who I was talking to," she tells me.

"I hope not," I tell her.

"Hey, Ana," Elliot says, walking up to us.

"Hi, Elliot," Ana says smiling at him in greeting.

"What are you two crazy kids talking about," he asks us.

"Christmas," we both tell him in unison.

"You should join us," Elliot tells her. "We really do it up."

"I would have loved to, but I am going to be in LA for the holiday," she tells him.

"Of course," he tells her. "I can't believe I forgot."

I roll my eyes knowing damn well he didn't forget. I've been moaning about it to him for the last week.

"Well, you know what," Jose says coming out of nowhere. I laugh as Ana comically does a double take at him. "We are having a little get-together Friday night. You all should come."

"Oh, I don't think…" Christian starts to decline.

"That is a great idea," Elliot interrupts him.

"Great," Jose says. "That's great, right Ana?"

"Where did you come from," she says to José looking around the aisle as to where he popped out from.

"I'm excited too," he says, pretending she answered him. "Elliot lets go work out the details."

"Right," Elliot says and they walk away.

"Were we just set up," Ana asks me.

"I should have known something was up when Elliot asked me to come shopping with him," I tell her.

"What are we going to do with those two," she asks me.

"I don't have to come," I tell her. "I meant what I said. I will stay away unit this is over, Ana."

"I know," she tells me. "But do you want the truth?"

I nod

"Always," I tell her.

"I would like to see you before I go to LA," she tells me.

"I'll be there," I tell her quickly.

"Okay," she smiles. "I'll see you then."

She says taking her wrapping paper.

"Pretend you didn't see this," she tells me.

"See what," I tell her.

"Oh you're good," she laughs. "I'll see you later."

"Later's, Baby," I tell her.

…

"Tell me why the fuck are you waiting to tell her about the divorce being finalized in less than two damn weeks again," Elliot asks me as we ride up to the penthouse.

"Because, I don't want to give her false hope again. I am on fucking pins and needles myself waiting for it to be finalized. I'm not going to put her through that. What if I go to her now and tell her it's almost over and then some snot nose clerk fucks up the paperwork, or some overzealous hotshot signs in the wrong place? We'd be forced to wait again and I can't do that to her a third time." I tell him for the umpteenth time. "I want to be able to go to her with my divorce papers and my heart in hand."

"What if she meets someone else in the meantime," he asks me.

"She won't," I tell him.

"You sure are cocky," he tells me.

"I have a spy in the enemy camp," I tell him.

"Who… Jose," he figures it out. "You know he just recruited me in that ambush of you and Ana?"

"She and I worked that out," I tell him.

"He sure gets around," Elliot says.

I laugh.

"Well thanks to him I get to see her before she goes," I tell him.

"Oh no, no I didn't play a major role in that," he tells me sarcastically.

"Elliot, you can't act worth a shit," I tell him and he gives me the finger. "And you two stop with the match making. It worked this time but she could have easily thought I put you up to it."

"Fine," he says to me.

"Besides," I tell him. "I'm on it."

"What the hell does that suppose to me," he asks me.

"It means I have plans to woo her back," I tell him.

"Did you see the girl," he asks me. "She has already forgiven you thanks to Jess. She doesn't need wooing."

"She deserves it though," I tell him and he nods in agreement.

"What. The. Heck," he says as we enter the foyer to hear Rudolph the red nosed reindeer playing on the surround sound.

"She's at it again," I tell him of Jess.

She has been doing everything she can with the twins these last few days to celebrate Christmas.

Every inch of the house is personally decorated by her in some type of festive draping or Christmas bobble. The tree is so huge we had to shave it down to get it to fit and it's still scrapping the ceiling. She has bought out every specialty store in Seattle of their toys and special gifts for all of us.

I know she is trying to make this Christmas especially memorable for the twins just in case she's not here to do it next year.

I've been sure to have photos taking constantly of her and the kids. I include myself more often times than not.

I know she is especially nervous today. We are waiting for the District Attorney to decide on her case since new evidence has come to light. The District Attorney's office has discovered some deep shit about Robert Rogers.

It turns out his grandfather is Superior Court Judge Albert Lee.

It's come to light that dear ole granddaddy Lee has been sweeping Rob's indiscretions under the rug for years.

Luke Sawyer, Taylor's ex-FBI guy, found out that little drunk driving accident with his family was no damn accident.

He was able to obtain the original police report for that night. The breathalyzer results, which officially showed him with a Blood alcohol concentration of .09 had been changed from 0.00. The fucker didn't have a single drink that night when he rammed his car into that tree and evidently he was the only one wearing a seat belt.

Sawyer even when so far as to track down the cops first on the scene and they remembered that night well. They gave over everything they had kept about the incident that never left their minds, including all of the original interviews of witnesses stating Rob threatened to kill his wife to anyone that would listen.

Rob was days away from being charged with the murder of his family until his grandfather stepped in. By the time the evidence went to trial, it had been doctored to such a degree, that all the jury saw was this poor grief stricken guy who got drunk and accidently lost everything. They simply stuck him in grief counseling where he met Jess.

Taylor finally got Jess's neighbor to come forward and testify to the fact that on several occasions, she had witnessed Rob at Jess's door threatening to do harm to her. That night she was in her window and she saw him attack Jess and that when she fired the gun, Rob was coming at her as she was cowering in the corner of her living room.

The District Attorney has been pouring over this new evidence and my dad believes, being the he is coming up for reelection next year, he may go after the judge.

If he does, Jess will essentially become a victim of his cover up and will not only walk free, but be allowed to file her own charges against Judge Lee.

"Oh good you all are here," my mom says to us now as we enter the dining room, "Just in time to decorate ginger bread houses."

Kate, Jess, Dad, Mia, and the twins are already at the table.

"Great," Elliot says, rubbing the palms of his hands together as he looks at the spread of candy on the table. "I love a good ginger bread house decorating event."

"Come sit next to me Uncle Elliot," Phoebe calls him over.

My Babydoll wants him there so he can help her sneak and eat the candy.

"You got it cutie pie," he tells her.

Teddy calls me over to sit next to him and we all get to work decorating our mini houses with icing and candy.

"Stop stealing all of my licorice," I tell Elliot as I smack his hand. It doesn't keep him from swiping two more of the red vines from my pile to finish his door trim.

"Boys," Mom scolds.

Our banter makes the twins laugh.

"I think we are eating more than we are decorating," Kate says as she pops another gumdrop in her mouth.

"Absolutely," Mia agrees as she sucks on a candy cane.

I look over at my mom and she is pleased as punch that we have all made our peace and are getting along. Just a few years ago a simple project like this would have sent us all stomping away from the table in different directions vowing never to speak to each other again.

"Which one is the best Mom," Teddy asks her of the houses as we sit each one in the living room next to the tree.

"Well," she tells him. "I think they are all special in their own way. Each one representing a member of the family, so they are all the best of that person."

"Great answer," Mia says making Jess laugh.

…

 **Ana's POV**

"Come on in," I tell Jose and Derrick happily as I let them in the door.

"Well your mood has certainly lifted," Jose says as he passes me. "Does it have anything to do with my little hookup plan?"

"Am I really 'that girl'," I ask them.

"What does that mean," Jose asks me.

"All of a sudden I'm seeing Christian again and I'm happy," I groan. "Am I really becoming one of those women?"

"What in the hell," Jose says to me. "Listen, we all want to be one of those women. Nothing wrong with being a woman who loves her man, honey, own it."

"Woo, especially when said man's soon to be ex-wife tells you he is head over heels for you **herself** ," Derrick adds.

"Oh my Gawd," Jose holds his chest at the thought of my meeting with Jess. "Straight up classy bitch move. **Classy** bitch, you hear what I'm saying?"

"Mmhhmm," Derrick agrees.

"The Man…" Jose starts.

"Oh, shut up," Derrick and I say together.

"Well, forget ya'll," Jose says to us.

"Maybe I should get him something else," I fret as we finish up decorating my apartment.

"Absolutely not," Derrick says. "What you got him is not only practical but very cute."

"It fits his personality," Jose says. "The man is going to love it."

"I'm going to get him something else," I tell them, unconvinced.

"No you are not," they say to me.

"What if he goes overboard with his gift only to get what I got for him in return," I tell them. "I'll feel like crap."

"He didn't go overboard," Jose says and catches himself.

"How do you know," I ask him.

"Oooo," he says knowing he's caught.

"Yeah how **do** you know," Derrick asks him.

"Well," Jose starts. "He just asks my opinion on what you would like and I gave him a few suggestions. I made sure to weigh them against what you got for him to make it an even exchange."

"Oh thank God," I tell him, breathing in relief.

"Don't thank me yet, honey," Jose tells me. "Not until I tell you what I made him take back."

"What was it," Derrick and I say together.

"Let's just say it came in a red box and cost enough to sustain a small country for over a year.

"OH MY GOD," Derrick says fanning himself.

"Flawless," Jose whispers to Derrick and he whimpers in return.

"What was flawless," I ask them.

"Oh it was nothing," Jose says waving it off. "Let's go eat, I am starving."

"I want steak," Derrick says.

"You're getting Chicken," Jose tells him. "I'm not sitting up with your gouty ass all night again. What about you, Ana?"

"Something fishy," I tell them and they laugh.

…

 **Christian's POV**

"Dear, are you sure you don't want to come along," my mom asks me from my place at the breakfast bar. She and Dad are taking everyone out to the Metropolitan Grill for dinner.

"You guys go ahead," I tell her. "I need to catch up on some work."

"Have you heard from Ana," she asks me. "Does she know the divorce is just around the corner? It might help if you told her."

"I saw her today," I tell her. "Elliot and her friend set us up to meet. I'm going to their party on Friday."

"Good," she breaths out. "I am proud of the three of you. You've all handled this situation very well."

She kisses my cheek and walks out to the elevators to join the rest of the family.

I go to my home office and try as I might, I can't get anything done.

Once again my mind drifts to Ana.

Just the thought of her causes my body to tingle. Every inch of me misses her. I can't wait to see her on Friday. The last few days have been torture for me and I have to wonder if she even knows how much I think about her in just a single day?

That's when it hits me. I know exactly how to show her how much she occupies my mind.

…..

 **Sunday, December 13, 2015**

 **Ana's POV**

 **8:30a.m.**

"Miss. Steele, good morning," Ryan says when I open the door for him.

"Good morning, Ryan," I tell him moving aside so that he may come in with his packages.

"I'll see you in a little while, Ma'am," he tells me as he hands me an envelope and leaves for the door.

"Thank you," I tell him absentmindedly.

"Get in here," I yell when I hear Jose's knock.

"What's going on," Jose says following his nose to the kitchen, "OH MY GAWD!"

I race to the kitchen to see a large spread of pancakes and a pot of what smells like hot chocolate.

"Ricky, get over here," Jose bellows and Derrick comes running in.

"Woow," he says and I laugh in giddy amusement as I look at the breakfast.

"What does the card say," Jose asks as he makes our plates and carries everything to the dining table.

I ignore him and read it to myself.

 **Baby,**

The first word makes me grin like an idiot and Jose snickers at me.

 **I know I promised to stay away until it was all over and technically I am. I just had to let you know how much I think about you throughout any given day. I'll start with a homemade breakfast since my thoughts before I wake up can't really be shared with your friends. The pancakes and hot chocolate are just two of your gifts today. Expect ten more. Enjoy your twelve gifts before Christmas. Until Laters.**

 **Yours,**

 **GEA**

I laugh at the gray eyed Adonis moniker Jose gave Christian.

"Oh, she is so gone," Derrick says and Jose nods.

We dig into the chocolate peppermint pancakes and hot chocolate Christian made for us as it reminds me of the amazing day we spent on The Grace with the twins.

"Are you seriously telling me The Man can cook," José says in awe. "He cooked this?"

"Yes he can and yes he did," I mumble to the both of them with my mouth full of delicious pancake. "And he's going to send something else over."

"How do you know," Derrick asks.

"Well he said he's starting with breakfast," I tell them. "He said he thinks about me throughout the day and he wants to show me how much. The pancakes and hot chocolate are two gifts. I should expect ten more."

"Okay," José says taking out his cell phone and texting.

"What are you doing," I ask him.

"Cancelling my day and texting Char to get her ass over here," he tells me. "Honey, we are not about to miss this."

…..

 **10:00 a.m.**

"I cannot believe you all are going to hang out here all day," I tell them as José flips through my Direct TV.

"Hell yes," Jose says. "When The Man asks us to wait we wait."

"What," I laugh. "CHRISTIAN did not ask you to wait."

"Semantics," he shrugs and Derrick rolls his eyes as him.

"I can't believe you all didn't save me not one damn pancake," Char complains as she sips her hot chocolate. "I really need to move closer."

"I told you," Jose says to her. "I don't know why your snobby butt had to move all the way to Bellevue."

Everyone jumps when we hear a knock on the door.

I open it to see Ryan standing there with two elongated boxes. I move to let him in and he greets everyone as he sits the boxes down and hands me yet another card.

We wave goodbye to him and we all pounce on the boxes as soon as he clears the door.

"OH MY GAWD," Jose says as he looks at the dozen of fresh cut perfectly red long stem roses.

"Will you stop saying that," Derrick complains.

"I'll get glasses," Char says when she sees the other box is Bollinger Rose Champagne.

 **Baby,**

 **The perfect beauty of the rose and the pink of the champagne remind me of how you look when you blush.**

Right on cue, I blush.

 **You're doing it now aren't you?**

 **Yours,**

 **GEA**

I laugh at how well he knows me and I go in my room to call him.

"Hi," he answers on the first ring.

"Hi," I say to him. "I can't believe you are doing this. I am loving it, but you don't have to, you know. Even though, I am really loving it."

He laughs and I hope he gets that I love it.

"I'm glad you are," he tells me. "And I am loving it too."

"Thank you," I tell him.

"It's my pleasure, baby."

….

 **12:20p.m.**

"That champagne was perfect," Derrick says as I stare at my roses that I've arranged in my favorite vase.

"I'm hungry," Char says. "Let's order in."

"Better not," I tell her and before I can answer her question why, there is a knock on the door.

"Oh my God…Oh my God," Jose says excited. "This is like the best Sunday **ever**!"

I'm starting to feel bad for Ryan as he comes in with lunch and my note.

We sit and enjoy the vegetable soup much like I had at the harvest festival. In fact it is better than what I had at the festival. Christian has complimented it with the delicious apple cider that we sipped at the fireplace.

I thought I was just being biased until I saw how everyone else was enjoying it.

…

 **2:00p.m.**

We jump up like Pavlov's dog when we hear the knock.

"What is it," Char says.

I laugh when I hold up the class jar of un-popped popcorn kernels that says "you make my heart pop" and the DVD Edward Scissorhands."

I find out from his note that the kernels are from the corn in our fall festival maze.

"How does he know that is your favorite Christmas movie," Char asks me.

I shrug because I know I never told him.

"I'll go pop the pop corn," Jose says.

"And how did he know you had a popcorn popper," Derrick asks.

"Jose," he calls to him.

"Okay," Jose says from the kitchen, "he texted me about it an hour ago. I didn't want to ruin the surprise."

"Oh **now** you can keep a surprise," Derrick says to him as they bicker in the kitchen causing Char and I to snicker at a jealous Derrick.

…..

 **5:30pm**

We just finished cleaning up all of the popcorn that ended up somehow on the floor when we hear the knock.

Ryan comes in with dinner and informs me that he will not be bothering me again tonight.

"Thank you for everything Ryan," I tell him. "And thank Christian again for me."

"I will Miss. Steele," he tells me. "Good night."

We have our dinner of Chicken Tetrazzini. It is the end of a perfect day because it reminds me of the first time I spent alone with Christian.

I try hard not to blush when I think about how it felt the first time he kissed me.

Later we munch on the caramel apples he made us for our desert.

 **Baby,**

 **I miss being able to hold you, to comfort you, and to talk to you like I use to before everything got screwed up. I give you these little notes so that you will always know how very much you mean to me.**

 **Yours,**

 **GEA**

"He truly outdid himself," Char says as she looks over the box of notes he gave me.

I slip the latest one I just read in the box as she looks through the unopened ones and starts to read the labels one by one.

"Open when you want a funny memory of us. Open when you are having a hard day. Open when you can't fall asleep. Open when you miss me….."

 _I will be opening that one a lot while I'm in LA._

"Look at this one," she says. "Open this when you want to know my dreams for our future."

She hands it to me, I take a moment then I open it.

I catch my breath when I see what's inside. I put it away before anyone else see's it.

"Awww," Derrick says, giving me a hug as I wipe my tears.

"Wait a second," Jose says as he counts. "You are missing two gifts. That was only ten."

We all look around the living room like the undelivered gifts are going to appear somewhere in the apartment.

"Maybe he just miscounted," Char says giving him an excuse.

Jose and I look at each other because we both know better.

Oh this is so him, always keeping me guessing.

 _Christian Grey what am I going to do with you?_

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I think I can squeeze out one more chapter before I call it a holiday.**

 **I won't be able to respond to your reviews for the last chapter like I usually do, but I did read and I appreciate every one of them.**

 **You can always PM me for questions.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	29. Making Merry For Christmas

**Once again, just holiday fun. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Twenty-Nine**

 **Making Merry For Christmas**

 **Friday December 18, 2015**

 **Christians POV**

I dismiss my class for the winter break with bags full of gifts and goodies that they all gave to one another at our Making Merry For Christmas party, including my colorful warm woolen mittens, scarves, reindeer noses, and the wonderful ornaments they made to hang on their trees.

I sigh when I look at all of the gifts that are cluttering my desk. I wonder how in the world I am going to carry them all by myself without making at least three trips, especially with the bread maker Sandy left for me.

"Looks like you could use a hand," Larry, the assistant principle, says standing in my doorway.

"Can you please," I ask him and he comes in to help me carry my load.

"You are a lifesaver," I tell him once we get everything in my car. "Thanks a lot."

"Glad to help," he tells me. "Was the bread maker on your Christmas list?"

"It's just an ongoing joke between Sandy and me," I tell him. "It's our Christmas, birthday, and wedding gift all in one."

"You're not getting married are you," he asks suddenly and I shake my head no.

"Enjoy your vacation, Larry," I tell him.

"You too," he says.

I see him continue to wave goodbye to me in my review as I drive away.

….

I make it home just in time to shower and get ready. I grab my gifts and head across the hall to Jose's.

"Damn Ana, you look hawt," Jose says to me when I walk in wearing my nude color coat and matching peep toe heels. "I certainly have rubbed off on you, finally and Thank GOD."

"Oh you haven't seen anything yet," I tell him as I put my gifts under his tree and take off my coat to reveal my red, form fitting knee length dress.

"Gurl, you are about to set off the smoke alarms up in here," he tells me and I laugh.

"AH," Derrick says shocked, when he comes out of the bedroom and sees me. "My little girl is all grown up."

He pretends to cry.

"Gone are the converse shoes and faded jeans," Jose joins him.

"Oh, you mean the ones I just pulled off when I got home," I tell them.

"Well damn," Derrick says as he shuts off the waterworks. "Stay true to yourself then girl."

"When did you get the fireplace," I ask Jose as I look around his apartment. His Christmas tree is tucked in the corner and he's added red and white Christmas themed pillows to his cream colored couches.

"My dad put it in this morning when he brought over the big table," he tells me. "It looks real as hell doesn't it. I'm thinking about keeping it up. I mean it is a heater after all."

"You should," I tell him, honestly, as I go over and look at the stocking he has up with all of our names on them. I shake my head when I see that he has added Christian, Kate, Elliot, and Mia's stockings to the usual four.

"The circle is growing," he tells me when he sees me looking.

"Do you need help with anything," I ask them.

"Nope we got it all under control," Derrick says to me as he hands me a drink. "Just sit down and look pretty."

…..

 **Christian's POV**

"Calm the hell down, Christian," Elliot tells him as we walk up to Ana's apartment building. "You are freaking me out."

"Oh give him a break," Mia scolds him. "He has a lot riding on this night. The love of his life could crush him like a bug in a matter of minutes. I mean, can you imagine being him right now?"

"Mia, don't help," I tell her.

"Sorry," she laugh. "It will be fine, you'll see."

"Remember, no mention of Jess or the divorce or none of that shit," I warn them.

"We'll behave," Kate promises.

Jose opens the door for us. He takes all of our gifts and put them under the tree.

"Mi casa es tu casa," he says.

I really don't hear a word of what else he is saying because I am now honed in on Ana and her dress that is showing her body off perfectly.

 _Jesus H. Christ, she looks great in red! From now on she should be in nothing but red._

My view of her is temporarily blocked as everyone starts hugging and complimenting each other's taste in clothing.

"Merry early Christmas," I tell her. "You look amazing."

"You don't look too bad yourself," she tells me. I smirk as she discreetly checks me out.

"Alright you guys, everything is ready," Jose announces, "The sooner we eat the sooner we can drink and open gifts."

…..

Ana is sitting close to me and the smell of her hair is driving me crazy. I keep stealing glances at her and each time I do, I miss when a serving plate is being passed to me by a hungry and impatient Elliot.

"Keep up will you bro," he chastises me as he hands me a basket full of rolls.

I roll my eyes and take the basket from him, putting a roll on Ana's plate before I place one on my own.

I look at her and she smiles at me when I realize I have been serving her meal to her all the while.

"Sorry about that," I tell her.

"No harm done," she assures me.

"This is so good," Char says as she digs into the succulent turkey dinner with all of the trimmings.

"It totally is," Mia agrees.

"A toast to Derrick and Jose," Kate says and we all lift our glasses of red wine to toast them as they both beam at us for the compliments.

After the dinner is done and the dishes are cleared, everyone moves to sit in the living room. Ana and I sit together on the couch and watch in amusement while everyone opens their gifts.

By far the best reaction was when Ana got a chance to open her gift from Jose.

"OH MY GAWD," she says and I try not to laugh at her as she is unaware that she just channeled Jose. "I can't believe you found them!"

I wonder what it could be because I sure wish the hell I would have found them.

She holds up a pair of footie pajamas. They are ice cream pink with black polka dots complete with a hood. The even have the little bathroom drop-seat at the butt. And now I'm glad I didn't find them.

"It was the last pair, Gurl," he tells her. "I had to snatch them from this old lady and run, but anything for my sistergirlfriend."

"Alright, Bro," Elliot says, letting me know it's my turn. "Give Ana her gift."

I hand it to her and watch as she opens it.

I smile as her eyes go big and she plants a huge kiss on my cheek as a thank you.

"Awww," everyone says as she takes it out of its black velvet box and holds it up.

"Good choice," Jose says about her larger than life diamond ring paperweight.

I watch as she looks at Jose in question and he nods knowingly at her.

 _Thank fuck he talked me out of giving her the real diamond necklace, earrings, and bracelet set I had for her, as she would have surely been embarrassed sitting here with everyone watching._

She hands me my gift and she bites her lip as I open it.

I purposely take my sweet time just to torture her a little longer.

I grin like a schoolboy when I see what it is.

It is a desk top slingshot carved out of oak with a leather pocket.

I read the Quote:

 **"** **I don't mind having to fight large, well aimed adversaries with nothing but a slingshot. In fact a slingshot is all I have ever had to fight them with."**

"Oh, it is so him," Mia says as I kiss Ana's cheek in thank you.

"It's perfect, Baby, thank you," I whisper to her.

And she breathes a sigh of relieve. She doesn't realize she could give me anything and I would cherish it?

"Now he'll use it as a weapon whenever he doesn't like what someone's giving him," Elliot tells everyone.

"Damn right," I laugh as I can just picture myself balling up a bogus proposal and slingshooting it across the room.

….

 **Ana's POV**

I breathe easily now that the gift exchange is over. I was so nervous that he wouldn't like the simple gift. With all the expensive things that he has given me, he could have easily been disappointed by it, but I should have known better.

Everyone is chatty now that the alcohol is flowing. Elliot has made us white chocolate peppermint bark martinis that are delicious and I am already on my second one.

Jose becomes concerned about everyone getting drunk and then driving home later, but Christian already has it covered with his drivers on standby. That's all he needed to hear for everyone to get the green light to get plastered.

Christian and I leave Jose's apartment and go over to mine to steal a moment alone.

"Your place looks great," he tells me as he looks around at the decorations.

"I'm almost sad to leave it behind," I tell him.

"I'm sad too," he tells me.

"I'll be back before you know it," I tell him.

"Ana," he starts.

"Christian wait," I stop him. "I need to tell you something. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I don't want us to be apart. I don't know if Jess told you what we talked about and we don't have to bring everything up tonight, but, when I get back after Christmas, I want us to pick up where we left off, if…you want us to that is."

"No," he tells me. "I don't want to do that."

My heart sinks.

"You don't want us to be together," I ask him, as I study the floor.

"What," he says shocked.

"Baby," he says cupping my face and forcing me to look at him. "There is nothing in the world I want more. It was torture being with you and not really being with you. I don't want to do that again, but unfortunately, we have to wait until after Christmas since you won't be here when it happens."

"What's happening," I ask him.

"I don't want to get your hopes up about it, but if things work out, we will be able to be together sooner than I'd planned," he tells me.

"How, if it's not going to be like it was," I ask him.

"Trust me," he asks and I quickly nod. "Then don't worry another minute about it. I want you to forget about all of this and have the best Christmas ever with your Dads and we'll pick it all up again when you come home."

"Sounds like a plan," I tell him.

"Ana, I don't want you going so far away doubting my feelings for you," he tells me.

"I don't," I quickly tell him, even though my actions are to the contrary.

"You two are under the mistletoe," I hear Jose from my partially opened door.

Christian and I look up to see the mistletoe that apparently José has stuck up there without my knowing.

"Ow," he yells when I close the door on him, "my nose!"

I turn back around just in time for Christian to pull me back under the mistletoe.

He leans in just shy of my lips and waits for permission to kiss me, just like he did for our first kiss.

I left my head to give him better access. He smiles and closes the distance.

"Mmmmmm," we both moan as he deepens the kiss and the taste of peppermint, martini, and eachother blend perfectly together to create an elixir that is hard to resist.

Eventually our need for air wins out and I pull away. Christian moans as he captures my lower lip in-between his teeth and gently bites it.

"I've missed this," he whispers as his forehead rests on mine.

"Me too," I breathe, "so much."

We hear the song What Are You Doing New Year's Eve as it starts wafting through the walls.

I giggle as Christian takes me into his arms and we dance. He leans his head down so that his lips are at my ear and he softly sings the words to me.

 **"Maybe it's much too early in the game  
Aah, but I thought I'd ask you just the same  
what are you doing New Year's  
New Year's Eve?**

 **Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight  
when it's exactly twelve o'clock that night  
Welcoming in the New Year  
New Year's Eve**

 **Maybe I'm crazy to suppose  
I'd ever be the one you chose  
Out of a thousand invitations  
you received**

 **Aah, but in case I stand one little chance  
Here comes the jackpot question in advance  
What are you doing New Year's  
New Year's Eve?"**

 **"** How do you do that," I ask him.

"Do what," he says to me.

"Make me feel so special," I tell him.

"You are special," he tells me. "And I am so grateful to be the one to make you feel it."

...

"Promise me you'll have a wonderful Christmas," I ask of him as we stand outside by Taylor's SUV.

Reynolds has already driven everyone else home.

"I promise I will make the best of it," he tells me as he readjusts my nude colored coat in an effort to keep me warm. "Thank you for tonight and for my gift. I truly love it. It will have a place of pride on my desk."

"Thank you for my ring," I tell him and he winks at me.

"Have a safe flight, Baby," he tells me and I frown at the thought of flying.

"I hate flying," I groan. "I hate being in such a small place with all those people."

Just the thought of being confined in that cramped coach seat with some stranger sandwiched up next to me while we are cutting through the air makes me cringe.

"Maybe it won't be as bad as you think," he tells me and I smile at him trying to reassure me.

"Merry Christmas, Christian," I kiss his cheek as I know Taylor might be watching.

"Merry Christmas, Ana," he tells me. "I'll see you when you get back?"

"Yes," I promise him. "I'll call you as soon as I get back."

He waits until I go back inside before he gets into the SUV and it pulls away.

I shower and change into my new pink polka dot footie pajamas and climb into bed with the smile on my face that has been missing for far too long.

...

 **Saturday, December 19, 2015**

 **Ana's POV**

I run around my apartment like a chicken with its head cut off.

I've checked and rechecked to make sure everything is turned off and unplugged for the last time before I head out the door.

"Whoa," I say as run right into a bright blue helicopter balloon that is floating outside of my door.

At the end of it is a note attached.

 **Baby,**

 **Charlie Tango got lost along the way, but he finally found his way to your door.**

 **Unfortunately your twelfth gift before Christmas is too large to fit in your apartment.**

 **Ryan is outside waiting to take you to SeaTac. Take your time. No one else is flying today but you, Baby.**

 **Have a great flight.**

 **GEA**

 **P.S. I recommend the blueberry scones with your tea, they are excellent.**

I put my Charlie Tango Balloon safely in my bedroom and grab my bags. I slip a goodbye note under the door for Jose and Derrick since I know they are still passed out from last night to be up before dawn and head outside.

"Good morning, Miss Steele," Ryan says to me as he takes my bags and walks me to the waiting SUV.

"Good morning Ryan," I greet him. He opens the door to let me in and places my bags in the trunk.

I sit quiet wondering how he knows which airline I'm taking.

 _Christian could not have possibly figured that out. Who am I kidding, of course he could._

It's only when he pulls onto a private tarmac that I start to get a clue.

"No way," I say to myself when we pull up to a private jet.

"Someone will be waiting for you when you land to drive you to your final destination," Ryan tells me as he helps me on board and says his goodbyes.

"Welcome aboard Mr. Grey's private plane, Miss. Steele," a lovely women, who I assume is a flight attendant, tells me as she leads me to the sitting area.

"Thank you," I tell her as I sit in the largest most comfortable airline seat known to man.

"What would you like for breakfast this morning," she asks me.

"Uhh..blueberry scones and a cup of tea please," I tell her, remembering Christian's suggestion.

"Very good," she smiles at me. "In the meantime, please make yourself comfortable. We shall be in the air shortly."

I thank her and take out my cell phone to text Christian.

 **Me: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!**

 **Christian: It is my pleasure. Enjoy your flight.**

I quickly text Jose

 **Me: Eleventh gift: Charlie Tango balloon. Twelfth gift: Private Jet to LA.**

 **Jose: YOU LUCKY BITCH!**

 **…** **..**

"Annie," Ray says surprised as he opens the door to let me in.

"We weren't expecting to even leave to pick you up for another two hours," he says after he gives me a hug and steps back to look me over.

"Frankie, Annie's already here," he calls for my dad.

"Hey hey, Babygirl," my dad says, rushing over to give me a hug. "You're early."

"I caught an early flight," I tell them.

"Where shall I put your bags, Miss. Steele," Max, my driver asks me as he comes into my dads' view.

"Just leaving them there is fine, thank you," I tell him and he sits them down.

My Dads are looking between Max, me, and each other trying to figure out this scene that is being played out before them. Last they heard I only had about four thousand dollars in my savings account, surely not enough for a personal driver.

"Very good, Ma'am," Max tells me. "I will pick you up here on your scheduled day of departure back home."

My dad tries to give him something for his trouble but Max refuses.

"Mr. Grey wouldn't approve," he explains to him. "Have a nice visit with your family, Miss. Steele."

"Thank you, Max," he nods to me and to my dad's before he leaves.

"Who was that," Ray starts off what I know is about to be a round of questions.

"Max," I tell him. "Wow you guys have really did a great job decorating."

"And who is, Mr. Grey," Dad asks, ignoring my attempt to change the subject.

"He hired Max," I tell him. "This tree smells really good."

"You are still a teacher, aren't you, Annie," Ray asks me suspiciously.

"Yes," I laugh. "Now leave it alone."

"For now," Dad tells me.

...

 **Christmas Day**

 **Friday, December 25, 2015**

 **Christian's POV**

I just finish sending Ana the last of the photos I took of the twins and their unbelievable hoard of presents and I am waiting for her response.

She LOL'ed when I sent her a picture of the unopened presents last night and told her more were waiting at my parent's house which we are already late going to because I had a time tearing them away from their toys to get ready.

I text her again to remind her of our skype date tonight, before I head out to the great room.

She and I have been skyping nightly since she first arrived in LA.

I smile remembering the awkward introduction I had to her Dads one night when we were having a rather flirty conversation and got caught.

" _Babygirl, who the hell are you talking to about biting your lips," he said as he came into her room._

 _"_ _DAAD," Ana squealed as he turned the computer away from her so that his face came in wide on my screen causing me to lean back from his evil glare._

 _"_ _Ray get in here," he called for Ana's other dad._

 _"_ _Oh my God," I heard Ana groan._

 _"_ _Who are you and why are you talking about biting my baby's lips off," Frank Lambert asked me. He pronounced each word slow and menacing as Ray Steele stood on guard behind him waiting for my answer._

 _"_ _Not at all," I told them as I pulled the covers up over my naked chest and sat up straight in bed. "I would never want to bit her lips off. She has very beautiful lips..."_

 _Fuck! Wrong thing to say, Grey!_

 _"_ _What do you know about her lips, **'Mr. Grey'** is it," he spit out at me, his words full of venom as he eyed me suspiciously. "Are you lying naked in that bed talking dirty to the lady that is my daughter?"_

 _Ana snatched the computer back from him and ordered them both out of her room._

 _"_ _You are now on my radar, Grey. I got_ _ **military**_ _eyes on you," her Dad yelled to me before she could close the door on the both of them._

I shake my head at the memory. I can laugh about it now since we have cleared things up when she introduced me to them properly the next day.

"Are you guys ready," I ask the twins now as I meet them in the great room.

"Ready," they say to me.

Phoebe is wearing a red dress with matching tights and red ruby slippers. Teddy is dressed in a black tuxedo with red vest and a tie that matches his sister's dress.

He protested the suit, but relented when he saw how important it was to his mother who is planning on taking them to see the nutcracker ballet later tonight.

"You guys have everything for mom's place," I check with them.

"We got it, Dad," Teddy assures me.

I help them with their bags and we head to the elevator. Taylor and Gail are spending the holiday with Sophie, so we are being escorted by Ryan and Anderson tonight.

Jess was here earlier to help the kids open presents. They are going over to her place in Shoreline to spend the rest of the winter break with her after the Grey Family Christmas Dinner is over. They won't be home until after New Years.

The District Attorney dropped all charges against her. She decided not to take things any farther as she just wanted to put the whole ordeal behind her, but she is still seeing her therapist faithfully.

Our divorce should have been finalized three days ago. She and I are still waiting on the decree.

My future is riding on that damn piece of paper and according to my dad it's delayed due to courts being closed for the holiday season.

I wanted this shit done and over with before Ana comes back here in three days.

I check my phone to see if she's responded to me and there's nothing. I shake it off as her being busy with her fathers and try not to worry.

The kids get excited when we pull up to my parent's house and they get a look at the decorations in all their splendor.

"They went crazy this year, bro," Elliot tells me as Walking in a Winter Wonderland plays on the outside speakers. The once green lush grass is now covered in fake snow and loitering reindeer.

"Seems like they are not the only ones," I tell him pointing at his light up Santa hat.

"Yeah and nice red sweater," he tells me of my Christmas sweater.

"It's burnt orange," I correct him.

"Whatever," he says and I give him the finger.

The kids run in the house when they hear Grandma Grey call for them.

We watch as the twins open up more gifts from their great grandparents, aunts, uncles, mom and dad.

"Will you two please hurry up and have kids," I tell Kate and Elliot as mine are basking in way too much attention being the only grandkids and I fear that they are much too spoiled.

My mouth is quickly shut when I hear Phoebe asks if mom could give some of the toys to the kids in her hospital.

Mom helps them put together a nice size pile, leaving out the special gifts from relatives, so that she may have them delivered to the hospital today in time to be included with the other gifts that were donated.

Once again we are gathered at the dinner table that is lavishly decorated with holy accented candles, candy cane centerpieces, and red flatware, while Carrick, the loveable Grinch, carves the roast beast. Someone must have let him in on the joke because he is decked out in Grinch gear.

I look over at Mia and she shrugs guiltily at me. She slides down easily in her chair since they are all now encased in white satin covers with a big bright red bow that screams we are being way too adorable for the holiday season.

...

"Be good for mom, you two," I tell the twins as they go off to Jess's place. I give Phoebe a hug and Teddy his high five.

"Laters Dad," he tells me.

"Laters Son," I say in return.

Anderson is the only one going with them since the paparazzi attention has died down considerably. Now that Jess is seen as a victim, she is no longer a hot topic for the media to relentlessly hound.

I check my phone one more time before I head back inside.

"What is it," Kate asks me when she catches me looking.

"I texted Ana, earlier and she hasn't responded," I tell her.

"She's probably busy with her dads," she tells me. "They won't let anything happen to her. Those two are intimidating as hell."

"Tell me about it," I agree with her.

"Grandma Trevelyan wants to dance with you," she tells me.

I laugh and follow her inside.

As the night winds down we sit around the table eating mom's homemade pumpkin pie and drinking coffee to combat the buzz from the eggnog we all had earlier.

We listen as mom and dad tells everyone stories about how we use to be at Christmastime and everyone is having a laugh at Elliot and my expense as mom talks about the lengths we went to in order to find out where our presents were hidden.

On the drive home from Bellevue I try calling Ana and it goes straight to voicemail.

By now I am thinking about hopping a flight and heading down to LA because something must be wrong.

It's not like her not to answer me for this long, except the time I scared her off and she promised not to pull away again without talking to me first and she hasn't since.

I run all kinds of scenarios as to why she's not responding in my head and none of them are good.

I leave Ryan to lock up the elevator and I head off to my bedroom in a last ditch effort to see if I can get her on skype before I risk making a complete ass of myself and end up on her Dad's door step.

I walk the length of the great and nearly trip over my own feet when I see the familiar silhouette in the large window.

"Ana," I croak out her name, blinking several times still not believing she's standing there.

"Hi," she says to me.

I don't know how I ended up in front of her. I didn't even feel myself move but suddenly I'm at the window and she is in my arms.

"Baby," I say planting kisses on her head, her cheeks and her lips. "What...how?"

That's about all I can comprehend to say to her before I take her into my arms again.

"Elliot, called me this morning," she tells me. "He uh...he explained things and told me what you were trying to do. He said that you'd been torturing yourself for the last two weeks waiting for the divorce to come through and you were upset that it hadn't yet."

"He shouldn't have told you," I tell her. "I wanted to have everything in my hands before I burdened you with it."

"I'm glad he told me," she tells me. "I wanted to come back here and support you and to let you know that I would wait it out with you. I spent the better part of Christmas with my Dad's and left to catch my flight home. Elliot upgraded me to first class."

She says quickly before I could complain about her taking a commercial flight.

"I'm sorry about the delay, Ana," I tell her, hating to disappoint her yet again.

"Christian," she interrupts me. "What time is it?"

"Almost midnight," I tell her as I look at my Rolex.

"Good," she says, holding up an envelope for me, "still time for one more present, then."

"Ana, you didn't have to," I tell her as I carefully open the envelope.

I look at her in question and she nods yes to me.

"Ana, how did you," I breathe out.

"Your dad got it before you arrived at his house. Elliot gave it to Ryan and he snuck it over here to me."

I stare at the divorce decree, stunned that it is actually in my hands.

"I can't believe it," I say to myself as I continue to stare at it.

"Do you know what this means," I pant out at her.

"That you're divorce," she states the obvious.

"No...Yes," I say. "Ana, it means that finally I can say what I've wanted you to know for so long."

"Christian, you don't have to do this tonight," she tells me.

"I can't wait another minute, baby," I tell her. "I'm sorry I don't have flowers and candles..."

"I don't need any of that," she tells me and I nod.

"Anastasia Rose Steele," I begin to give the speech I've dreamed about for so long, but then I take one look at her bright blue eyes and it flies right out of my head, so I just speak from my heart. "Baby, I love you. My God...I love you. I love you so much, Ana..."

That's about all I manage to get out before she wraps her arms around my neck.

"I love you too," she whispers to me.

She giggles as I lift her up and hold her close to me.

 _Finally! There is nothing in our way._

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Please check out pinterest because I am terrible at descriptions, I admit it.**

 **Thank you all for reading and reviewing.**

 **I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday ;-).**


	30. Baby Its Cold Outside

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again **

**Chapter Thirty**

 **Baby Its Cold Outside**

 **Saturday, December 26, 2015**

 **Ana's POV**

"Am I holding you too tight, baby, "Christian asks me.

We lay cuddled up together in his big warm bed trying to get a little sleep before sunrise.

It took him a few hours to let it sink in to where he could accept the fact that he is actually and truly divorced. We didn't have an all out celebration about it but we didn't hide that we were both very happy about his new marital status.

He releases his hold on me and I snuggle up closer on his chest in response.

"No, this is fine," I tell him as I drape my arm over his stomach. My bare legs are brushing up against his. I try to hide my giggle when I feel his stomach muscles tighten under my touch.

I move my arm and curl it up so that I may hold the hand he has around my shoulder. I kiss its palm before pulling it back tight around me.

"I've missed this," he tells me.

My hand releases his and reclaims its spot on his stomach.

"Me too," I tell him, relishing in the feel of his fingers playing in my hair.

"I owe my brother big time," he says.

"That's what I told him," I tell him.

"And what did he say," he asks me.

"That if I could get you to stop moping around, we would be even," I tell him and he laughs.

"Well, I guess we are all even then, because I am on cloud nine right now with you here in my bed and in my arms," he tells me, kissing my temple and nuzzling the side of my head with his nose.

"Mmmm, it is very euphoric," I agree with him as I sigh contently. "But there is a down side."

"What's that, baby," he asks me becoming very relaxed himself.

"My narcolepsy is returning," I tell him.

He chuckles at me.

"As long as you are sleeping next to me, I welcome it," he tells me. "Sweet dreams, baby."

As I fall into a deep sleep, I smile when I hear him say he loves me.

…

 **Christian's POV**

I awake to find Ana's side of the bed not only empty but cold. I would be alarmed if I didn't smell the distinct aroma of frying bacon wafting under the door.

My growling stomach is enough to get me moving. I make my way to the master bathroom to relieve myself before I head out to the kitchen to stuff myself with whatever else Ana is cooking up this morning.

"Sorry, I didn't call last night Dad," I hear her say on her cell phone. "It was pretty late when I got here and I didn't want to wake you….yes, I promise... I will think about what you said….I love you too."

She hangs up her phone and turns up the radio when Baby Its cold Outside starts to play.

She picks up a mixing bowl and begins to whisk what I think are eggs as she hums the words of the song.

She has gotten her hands on one of my white button down shirts and is now wearing it to cover the stripped light blue and white romper shorts she slept in last night. My shirt hangs long on her and it looks as though she is wearing nothing underneath it.

I sneak up to the breakfast bar to watch her as she begins to shake her cute little ass to the music.

"Morning," I tell her as she turns around to see me watching her.

I smile coyly at her as I eye her in my shirt with her long brown hair bundled up on top of her head.

 _Did I say she should wear nothing but red? She should wear my shirts and nothing but my shirts._

"Morning," she says and clears her throat. "I...uh...I thought I'd make us breakfast."

"While dancing," I tease her.

"It's one of my favorites," she tells me of the song.

"It's now my absolute favorite if it gets you moving like that," I tell her, honestly.

"And it's very fitting," she says as the wind and rain starts to pelt against the windows outside.

"I hope you don't think I am letting you out of this apartment in that weather. Or anytime before the twins come home," I tell her.

 _Or ever if I had my way._

"When are they coming home," she asks me.

"Saturday," I tell her.

"A week," she asks and I nod.

"Here with you," she asks and I nod.

"Surely you'll get sick of me invading your space," she tells me.

"As many times as I've wished for you to be here," I tell her. "No chance of that happening."

She hesitates.

"Ever," I add to nudge her in the right direction.

"Okay," she says.

"Great, "I tell her. "Now let's eat. I am starving."

She plates our food and sits down next to me at the breakfast bar.

"Nice shirt by the way," I tell her as I dig into her delicious French toast and bacon.

"I thought so too," she tells me.

I catch my breath and shift a little in my seat when she loudly sucks off the syrup that accidently got on her fingers.

Her breath catches in kind as I take hold of her other hand and suck her fingers clean.

"So," I say, trying to think of a distraction. "Were your dads upset that you left early?"

The thought of her dads makes my dick shrivel up nicely.

"No, they understood once I explained things," she told me.

"You told them….everything," I ask her hoping she didn't tell them about me persuing her when I was still married. That is a sure way to get me shot.

She nods her head in affirmation and I visibly cringe.

"Don't worry, you won them over when you skyped with them," she assures me. "And if anyone understands about relationships it is those two. I mean they both had to deal with my mother, Carla whatever her last name happens to be at the moment."

"They gave me some advice," she moves on quickly, not wanting me to ask about Carla.

"What did they say," I move on, taking the hint.

"I told them about how important you are to me," she tells me. "And I told them that I am seeing a therapist about my…um…issues with intimacy…"

"Jesus Christ," I say, dropping my fork on my plate. "Please tell me you didn't talk to them about that…about me...us…and **that**?"

She nods.

 _For fuck sakes. How am I ever going to look those two in the eye when they know I am out to boink their daughter?_

"They told me the same thing that my therapist said," she continues. "They said I need to be honest with you, if I want this…whatever this is… to move forward….which I do."

"Ana," I tell her right here and now. "I love you. I want to be with you."

"I know you want to have sex with me," she tells me.

"I want to make love to you, Ana," I tell her.

"I want to make love **with** you," I clarify, "when you are ready. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you," she breaths easier.

"No need," I tell her honestly. I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips. "Stop stressing yourself. And please stop pushing yourself because you think it's what I want. I do want you, Ana, but it's not a deal breaker for me."

She laughs.

"Christian Grey, you are an amazing man," she tells me. "But you are still a red-blooded one. And no way in hell are you ever going to convince me that sex is not a deal breaker."

"Ana, I've gone well over a year without it," I inform her.

"Really," she says shocked.

"Yes," I laugh.

She smiles like a loon.

"Do you find that appealing, Miss. Steele," I ask her.

"I do," she tells me. "Probably a little more than I should. I like that you're not a manwhore."

"I've been tested…" I begin.

"Oh God, Christian, I didn't mean that," she says, kicking herself for reminding me I had to get tested from Jess cheating.

"I know you didn't. I just want you know," I tell me her. "I would never do anything to risk hurting you."

"I know," she tells me. "I'm on the pill."

I choke on the coffee I'm sipping.

"I mean since we're talking about it, I thought you should know," she tells me.

"I…yes..that is good to know," I stammer out.

"My mom put me on them when I got my first period," she tells me. "She swore I would be pregnant by sixteen if she didn't."

 _Damn that woman is a piece of work._

"It's the best thing she ever did for me," she explains when she sees my frown.

I nod, letting it go as I kiss her inner wrist making her giggle.

…

We finish our breakfast.

She goes in to my bedroom to shower and dress for the day while I load the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen.

I check my phone for messages and I smile at the picture Phoebe sent me of her and Teddy at the ballet with a whole hearted plea to let her take ballet lessons.

I laugh because I knew that request was likely coming. I shoot a text to Andrea to have her look into a few places that teach dance on her leisure.

I casually stroll to my room with my mind on Phoebe and ballet when I open the door to see Ana standing with a towel wrapped around her. She is looking for what I assume is clothing in her bag that she has since she came here straight from the airport yesterday.

She takes out a set of pretty pink underwear and her towel slips. She grabs for it but not before it exposes her perfectly shaped ass.

 _Damnit look away Grey!_

I try to scold myself to do just that but I am unable to breathe let alone turn away. My dick springs up in attention so quickly I believe he just set a new world record.

She gives up trying to put the towel around her and opts for sitting on the bed directly behind her instead.

I hear her suck in her breath when she spots me and now I'm caught.

"Shit, baby, I'm sorry. I thought you were in the bathroom," I tell her when she grabs for the towel and puts it up against her to hide herself, but not before I saw those perfectly perky tits.

 _Jesus Christ she even has cute as fuck short fuzzy brown pubic hair all over her un-groomed pussy._

"Its fine," she tells me, not really showing too much concern with the exception of the blush that has crept up on her cheeks.

I go over and grab a T shirt, underwear, and a pair of sweatpants.

"Just come out when you're ready," I tell her closing the door.

I head to the guest room, grab some towels and take a long cold shower.

The cold water shrunk my dick but it did nothing to help my nuts that are about ready to explode. They are painfully full, but I refuse to jack off.

The next time I cum, it will be inside or on Anastasia Rose Steele and I am determined to get her to trust me enough to get us to that point.

…

"I'm sorry about walking in on you," I tell her as she emerges from my bedroom looking and smelling good in a tan blouse and brown jeans. She dried her hair which is now hanging around her shoulders. "I hope I didn't freak you out."

"Not even a little freak out," she assures me as she joins me on the couch in the great room.

"Well that is progress," I laugh.

"I guess my suck therapist is working," she tells me.

"Brandon isn't your therapist anymore," I ask her.

"No, he pawned me off on his co-worker," she tells me. "He thought she would be of more use to me."

"Why is that," I ask her, trying to hide my distain as I see all kinds of red flags waving in my peripheral vision.

"We sort of plateaued," she tells me. "I couldn't really talk to him about sex and stuff seeing as how we were friends."

"Friends," I repeat.

"Yes of course," she tells me, "since my first year in college."

"Is **he** aware that you are just friends," I ask her, unable to hide my jealousy.

"I'm sure he is," she tells me. "I've never given him a reason to think otherwise."

"No, of course not, baby," I tell her. "But, Ana you are a very beautiful woman and any man would want you to be his."

"Not Brandon," she assures me. "And even if he did. Even if every single guy wanted me to be theirs, which is not the case I can assure you, it wouldn't matter, because I am yours."

"It most certainly is the case, Miss. Steele," I tell her, not letting that little slight slip past. "You are beyond beautiful and you have made me the luckiest and happiest man alive allowing me to claim you as mine. And I am yours, Ana."

"What exactly does that mean," she whispers to me.

"It means…." I start, pausing to take a deep breath trying to think of exactly what it means.

 _I guess girlfriend would be the next logical step even though it is subpar to how I feel about her._

"Anastasia," I say to her, when I start to see doubt in those big blue eyes as I am taking too long to answer. "We'll you do me the incredible honor of being my girlfriend?"

"Hmmmm," she says thinking and I see she's not about to make this easy for me. "Are you sure about this? I mean you just got divorced yesterday. Are you really up for a new ball and chain already?"

"Absolutely," I tell her, quickly. "Ball and chain me up in the darkest of dungeons, Baby. Because You. are. It. for. me."

"I'll just go ahead and agree to be your girlfriend instead," she jokes with me.

"That sounds much better," I tell her.

She bites her lip in uncertainty.

"Talk to me," I ask her.

"There is just a lot to sort out," she says. "How is this going to work with me being your twin's teacher? How are they going to take the fact that I'm their dad's new girlfriend? They might hate it. Then there are your parents. Not to mention my boss, I mean I'm sure I've broken all kinds of rules…."

"Don't over think things, Ana," I tell her.

"How could I not," she tells me. "There is just so much."

"We've gotten over the hard part," I remind her. "The rest we can easily manage together. First of all the twins adore you and I don't foresee that changing anytime soon. We'll make sure they understand that here you are Ana and at school you are Ms. Steele and they will be treated like any other student of yours."

She nods her head but it does little to calm her anxiety.

"I think we should still go slowly with them," she tells me. "Test the waters a little like we've been doing. I know what it's like for someone to just be there one day. I remember how it felt to have some guy just show up and say 'hey I'm your mom's new boyfriend.' I hated it every single time."

"You, me, and the twins are nothing like that," I tell her. "But I'll agree to keep taking it slow with them. And my parents can't wait to meet you."

"And my work," she says. "Maybe I should just come clean with my boss and…."

"No need for that, Baby," I tell her. "I already spoke with Principle Tanner…"

"Christian, you didn't," she tells me, "when?"

"It was before Thanksgiving," I tell her. "You were worried that you might get fired for dating me. I told you not to worry and that I would take care of it."

"So you spoke to my boss," she says exasperated.

"No," I tell her. "I spoke to my kid's principle. I reminded him of the sizeable donation I and my family makes to his school every year. I also thought a new state of art library would look great in the new building I commissioned Grey Construction to build."

"But you didn't mention me," she asks me hopeful.

"I told him that if there was a policy on teacher/parent dating that it needed to be changed," I tell her. "And he made sure that it was. I didn't give him specifics but I am sure he put two and two together."

"Oh my God," she groans. "Why?"

"Because I take care of what's mine," I tell her. "You were worried, so I handled it."

"But why would you go to such lengths," she asks me not knowing I was a step away from buying the damn school and making her principle.

"Because I can," I tell her. "I love you, Ana, and if teaching at that school means the world to you, than the world is what you will have."

"What if the parents find out," she asks me. "They'll talk."

"If it gets out of hand give me their names and the names of their kid…." I start.

"Christian," she scolds me about messing with her kids. "You can't take on all of them."

"I can and I will if I have to," I tell her. "There is nothing I won't do for you, Baby. But trust me, you and I are not the only ones that are involved. At least **we** are discreet about it."

I smirk as her eyes go wide. I know she wants to ask me how I know, but she doesn't want to gossip about her co-workers. I bet she is going to watch them all a little more closely from now on though.

My cell phone rings and I see that it is Ros calling me.

"Baby, I have to take this," I tell her. "I'll be right back."

….

 **Ana's POV**

Christian leaves me to my own devices as I wander over to the window to look out at the rain as it falls heavy over Seattle.

I try to wrap my mind around the fact that I am the girlfriend of Christian Grey. I'm still trying to figure out what I did to capture his attention, but I am thanking God that I did it.

 _But how long will he wait for me to figure my messed up head out?_

I know he would wait for me to be ready, but how fair is that to him?

My Dad's voice comes creeping into my head and I inwardly roll my eyes at his notoriously bad timing.

 _"_ _If he means this much to you and you trust him Babygirl, you need to level with him," he told me Christmas morning as he helped me pack. "Now I am a good judge and I can tell you, he seems quite taken with you, especially after that hour and a half he spent enduing me and Ray just to appease us for your benefit. I think he might surprise you and understand."_

My bitch therapist, Dr. Townsend, who never lets me get away with anything, invades my thoughts with a vengeance.

 _"_ _Ana," she calls my name seriously. "You are going to have to take that leap. It is never going to be any easier than it is right now with Christian, the man that you love."_

 _I sighed heavily at her words._

 _"_ _Have you been using the sex toys," she asked me._

 _"_ _Not really," I told her._

 _"_ _There is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself, Ana," she told me. "Getting a feel of what it's like and taking pleasure from sex is a natural thing."_

 _"_ _It doesn't feel natural," I told her. "It feels dirty and it makes me feel dirty."_

 _"_ _Okay," she told me changing tactics. "Let me ask you this. When you are kissing Christian, how does he make you feel?"_

 _"_ _Special," I told her. "Warm, loved, safe….wet."_

 _"_ _Those are all normal things," she assures me quickly. "Never has he made you feel wrong or dirty?"_

 _I shake my head no_

 _"_ _Has he demeaned you," she asked and I shake my head no._

 _"_ _Okay, so let's look at his record," she told me. "Every time…every single time he kisses you or hugs you, he makes you feel special, warm, loved, safe, and wet. We can only conclude that if he continues, then those will be the feelings you experience."_

 _"_ _But what if it's not," I asked her. "What if I don't like it?"_

 _"_ _Then you ask him to stop," she told me. "Do you have a reason to doubt he would stop if you asked him to? Or that he would be angry with you if you asked him to?"_

 _"_ _No," I told her._

 _"_ _Ana," she said my name again, more gently this time. "He may very well do something you don't like and that is also normal…"_

 _"_ _That doesn't sound very promising," I told her._

 _"_ _Communication is the key," she told me. "Not everyone likes the same things when it comes to lovemaking. It is important to know your body, which incidentally is why I want you to get comfortable with touching yourself."_

 _Yeah well that's not going happen anytime soon._

 _"_ _Have you talked to Christian about what you went through," she asked me._

 _"_ _I told him most of it," I told her and she looked back at her notes._

 _"_ _You left out a big part," she told me. "Ana, he needs to know."_

 _"_ _I can't," I told her. "He'll never understand. He'll think I'm disgusting."_

 _"_ _If you want this relationship to move forward you need to trust him," she told me. "He can't ward against what he doesn't know about. It is an unfair position to place him in. Intimacy is about trust and that trust works both ways. He has to be able to trust you as well."_

 _"_ _I'll think about it," I told her._

….

"Sorry, Baby, did I take too long," Christian asks me as he pulls me out of my own head. "Why are you sitting here? What's wrong?"

He comes to join me at my place on the step that separates the foyer from the great room.

"I…uh.." I start to think of an excuse. I didn't even realize I had moved from the window.

"Baby, look at me," he begins and I turn to face him. He cups my face in his hands. "I want you to be able to tell me anything."

"I know," I tell him. "I just don't know how you'll react once you know. I don't want to lose you when I just got you."

He presses his lips to mine in a kiss so tender it makes me melt.

"Ana, I want us to make each other a promise right here right now," he asks me.

I nod my head.

"Nobody leaves," he tells me. "No matter what happens, we are in it together from this moment on. I want to be your safe place, Ana. I want you to be able to tell me anything and know that I would never hold it against you. You are safe here with me."

"You're safe with me too," I tell him. "I promise."

"Okay," he breathes. "I think we just need to put everything out on the table."

I nod.

"Christian," I say wanting him to go first. "Will you tell me about Andy?"

He takes a sharp deep breath and I realize I have unfairly caught him off guard.

"You don't have to..." I start.

"I want to," he tells me. "Was it Jess that told you?"

I nod my head yes.

"She said that she fell down the stairs when she was holding him and he didn't make it," I tell him, gently.

"I was working late that night," he begins, "on some insignificant deal. A problem I was having acquiring a company in Tokyo. My mom called. 'Christian, come quickly, its Jess and the baby,' I knew….by the tone of her voice, I just knew. I don't remember much after that I was on autopilot. Taylor was there. He appeared out of thin air and got me where I needed to be. After everything….I shut down. I only allowed myself to feel the anger. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to survive. I took a lot of that anger out on Jess. I ignored Teddy and Phoebe for fear I may not be able to control my anger around them. I was angry at myself for not being their when my son needed me the most…"

"Christian," I begin.

"I failed him, Ana," he tells me. "It's a burden I've had to carry around since that night and I think to some extent I always will. That one mistake cost me one of the most important people in my life and I promised myself I would never let anything like that happen again."

"Christian," I begin again. "It was an accident. You couldn't have known."

"Ana," he begins after a moment of quiet. "Will you please tell me why you feel you can't make love yet?"

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I knew it was coming, but I am still unprepared to put anything into words.

"I'll try," I tell him. "But I have to tell you everything. You're not going to like it."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 ***I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.**

 ***I planned to finish this up and post it sooner, but things kept getting in the way.**

 ***The line about Ana's pubic hair was inspired by a line in Twilightobsessed00's story Sweetheart that I thought was a great line and all credit goes to her for it.**

 ***I know the photos got you excited my pinterest followers. I make you a promise, it won't be long at all now.**

 ***Thank you all for reading and reviewing.**


	31. Changed

Okay, I am trying to update this again. I was going to say if you can't see it, to PM me, but then I thought how could you know to PM me if you can't see it? LOL at my dumb self.

I hope it works!

* * *

 **Trigger Warning: This chapter touches on stalking, sexual assault, suicide, and child abuse. I wish I could tell you what parts to avoid, but unfortunately it is the whole chapter, although nothing is described in great detail.**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirty-One**

 **Changed**

 **Christian's POV**

"Ana," I begin after a moment of quiet. "Will you please tell me why you feel you can't make love yet?"

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"I'll try," she tells me. "But I have to tell you everything. You're not going to like it."

I steel myself for what she is about to tell me.

"I loved being with Ray," she begins, "but I hated being in Montesano. I never enjoyed a moment of living there and later Travis made damn sure I never found any peace of mind there,"

She takes a deep breath, trying to shake off a memory.

I slide closer to her, take both of her hands in mine, and gently squeeze them. I want to move us somewhere more comfortable besides this step, but I fear if I stop her from talking, she will lose the nerve to start again.

"He didn't take me moving on from him very well," she continues. "You were right, he did begin stalking me. I tried to ignore him at first. I hoped and prayed that it would all just go away….. that he would go away. I kept it from Ray. Owen would stick by me like glue though. He would walk me home and stay until Ray came home from work. I thought with time things would blow over but they just kept getting worse. I was always on edge waiting for him to pop up and cause a scene or what was even worse was when he would just stand and stare making me even more anxious about what he would do."

"Did he ever approach you," I ask her.

She shakes her head no.

"Just yelling, name calling, or staring," she tells me. "My last year of high school was the worst year of my life. I was a Lambert back then, still am, I just choose not to use the name. When I graduated from college and moved here, I wanted a fresh start so I started using Steele. Travis would always call me Lambert."

She takes a deep breath to gather strength.

"Anyway," she says. "Senior year is supposed to be the start of freedom, but for me it was just hell. All of my friends were getting their license and cars and staying out late, being excited about prom and graduation and looking at colleges. I couldn't enjoy any of that. I couldn't drive anywhere by myself, I couldn't even walk to and from school alone. I was seventeen and still being chaperoned by Ray. He made sure I was never anywhere without him."

"How did he find out," I ask her.

"Travis attacked Owen after he had left my house one night," she tells me. "He spent six weeks with his arm in a cast. He pressed charges but it was just made to seem like some 'high school thing' by Travis's lawyers, even though he wasn't even in high school anymore. His father was very influential in town and he made Owen and me out to be the trouble makers. He found plenty of people willing to back up his claim for money. Owen's parents didn't want him anywhere near me outside of school after that and neither did any of my other friend's parents."

"You have got to be kidding me," I say in anger before I can catch myself.

"They were just trying to protect their kids," she tells me. "Travis would show up everywhere I went and it would freak them out, me too. You can't really have a good time with some crazy guy following you all the while. He would wait for me outside of school. He would park his car down the street from my house and sit there for hours at a time. He would leave gifts on my doorstep: Flowers, candy, countless cards and pages of rambling letters."

"Shit," I say when I realize I did the exact same damn thing.

"Christian you can't be serious," she tells me when I apologize. "I love everything you ever gave me. It was nothing like with him…nothing. The thought never even entered my mind."

I nod, relieved.

"What about the police," I ask her. "He was breaking all kinds of stalking laws."

"Ray had me get a restraining order, but Travis stayed just where he was supposed to be," she told me. "He knew how to avoid being charged. The letters started to get more and more desperate and aggressive. They scared the hell out of Ray. I found that out later because he kept them from me. One really riled him and finally he called my Dad. He came up right away."

"Why did Ray wait so long," I ask her, but I knew the answer right when the question left my mouth.

"My dad is a shoot first ask questions later type of guy," she tells me. "He tried to do the right thing though at first, to his credit. They tried to get Carla to cooperate and let my dad take me because Ray couldn't afford to leave his work and at the time his mother was ill."

She laughs and I'm guessing Carla was no help.

"Dad moved in with Ray and me instead. They got in touch with a few of their army buddies and they began to harass Travis. Slashing his tires and smashing out his car windows whenever he would park his car on my street. The stress started doing all kinds of things to my Dad's PTSD. He got so worked up once he went after Travis with a gun and managed to fire off a round just missing his head before Ray wrestled him to the ground. The police turned a blind eye to it. I don't think Travis ever told his father."

"Did it work," I ask her hopeful, finding a new found respect for Ray Steele and Frank Lambert.

"It did," she says. "Everything stopped. He was nowhere to be found and I was so happy. I thought finally he had gotten the message and decided I wasn't worth getting shot at and left me alone. I started to relax, but my Dads didn't. It became a battle between the three of us. I wanted more freedom and they refused. My social life picked up again and I was invited out to parties and dates but never was I allowed to go. I had a very strict curfew: School and home and if I wanted to go anywhere, it would be with one of them."

I smirk when she rolls her eyes at her dads until her face turns serious.

"My best friend, Shelly, was having a birthday party and she really wanted me to come. But my Dads said no and that was it. I tried to compromise with them. Asked them if they could drop me off and I would stay inside and call them to come and get me. They wouldn't budge and, God, that pissed me off."

She releases my hands just long enough to tuck her hair behind her ears before she takes hold of them again.

"I was a straight A student," she continued on. "I towed every line and followed every rule and still I was being punished because of their paranoia. It had been months without anything from Travis, I didn't understand why they wouldn't let me move on. I was so stupid not to listen to them."

"Why, Baby, what happened," I ask her after she sits silent for a bit too long.

"I decided to rebel," she tells me and judging by the tone of her voice, I know I'm not going to like this. "I waited until they went to bed and I snuck out of my window. Shelly's house was just two streets over. I thought I would return in a few hours safe and sound without them being aware I'd been gone. I had no clue when I left my house that night, I wouldn't see it again for three days."

"Three days," I ask her gently and she nods her head.

"Travis grabbed me before I even made it to Shelly's. I had already told her I wasn't coming to the party, so she didn't know to expect me. Travis took me to this cabin that his family owned out near Mt. Helen. It was a remote area, no one around at all but still he kept me tied to his bed just in case I tried to run. He would waive his gun around to scare me and he would force me to drink wine to keep me under control."

She shudders so I pull her closer to me.

"He was angry with me most of the time," she tells me. "He blamed me for ruining his life. He blamed me for driving him to do the crazy things that he did because I refused to listen to him. He said if I would have just given him a chance to fix things, he and I would have been happy. He was angry that I allowed my Dads and their friends to humiliate him and make him look weak in front of his father. He spent hours calling me a slut and whore, saying I was just like my mother. He would untie me and make me….he would make me do these disgusting things to him he said that whores did. Things that he was sure I had done with other boys even though I told him I hadn't. It made me feel so sick and dirty, but he enjoyed every minute of it. I would say no. I would beg him to stop forcing me to do it, but that just seemed to spur him on. He loved making me cry, it made him feel… powerful, I guess."

I wipe at a stray tear that is slowly making its way down her cheek.

"On the second day," she keeps going. "I had just about enough of it and I fought back. It only pissed him off and he hit me. This time I hit him back and he snapped. God, I thought he was going to kill me."

She stops talking. I don't ask her to continue. I'm not really wanting to know but needing to know exactly what she and I are dealing with.

"He threw me down and ripped off my clothes," she begins. "I tried to fight him off, but he was so big and so strong. I still remember the feel of his weight on me. It was suffocating and I couldn't breathe. I tried to push him off. I hit him. I scratched him but he was….I couldn't."

 ** _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! No!_**

"Did he force you, Baby," I ask her, devastated. "Did he…."

"He couldn't get himself aroused enough to where it would work," she says. "All the beers he'd been drinking didn't much help, I guess."

"Thank God," I breathe out and devastation hits me again when she looks at me.

"What is it," I whisper to her.

"Chuck told you I was a virgin," she asks me and I nod. "That is not exactly accurate, I don't think."

I nod for her to continue, praying my face isn't showing the fact that I am ready to kill at what I know she is about to tell me.

"He'd heard me having a nightmare the first night Charlotte and I stayed over on spring break from WSU," she continues. "I was inconsolable. It was all still pretty fresh back then. He sat with me while I cried and I told him that I was ruined. That I couldn't give that gift to the person I loved because Travis had taken that choice away from me and you know what he told me?"

I shake my head no

"He told me that I still have that gift to give, until the day I give myself freely to a man. He said that if the man that I love can't understand that then he isn't worth me giving myself to. That's what he meant when he told you I was a virgin. Christian, Travis used one of his beer bottles to…"

"Shit," I pant out before she could finish, the truth of it worse than what I thought.

"I...he couldn't get me to cooperate well enough for him to do it fully. It was hard for him to control the bottle and me too, but it was pressed there and it hurt…." She says.

I stand up to pace, unable to control the anger that is resonating throughout my body and coursing through my veins.

I am exposed, spilt right down the middle and left unable to say a word. My heart is breaking at the images going through my head and I can barely breathe.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything when you thought I was a... uh...never before touched virgin," she tells me mistaking my silence for distain. "I just couldn't. I was afraid you wouldn't want me."

 _THAT SON OF A BITCH!_

"I'm sorry, Christian," she says as I watch her get up and walk away from me to my bedroom.

 _SAY SOMETHING TO HER!_

"Ana," I whisper, finally finding my voice, but much too low for her to hear me.

 _SHIT!_

I quickly get myself under control to where I can go to her.

"Ana, baby," I say to her as I enter the room and find her crying on my bed. I go over and sit behind her.

"I'm not what you want," she cries. "I'm disgusting I know. I'm so sorry."

"Baby, that is just not true," I tell her gently. "Please come here let me hold you."

She sits up and I pull her into my lap and cradle her.

"I'm sorry that I made you feel that way for even a second," I tell her. "I was just…God baby, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Please believe me when I tell you that it doesn't change how I feel about you only to make me love you more. Chuck is right, Ana. What that bastard tried to do to you doesn't take away from who you are. It doesn't take away the gift of giving yourself to the man you love….to me for the first time, even if he had succeeded, Ana, it wouldn't have taken that away."

"But he did succeed in a way, Christian," she tells me. "I hate the idea of ever doing that again. I just don't know if I can do it again, Christian."

"But, baby, you've never done it before," I tell her. She leans back, lifts her head, and looks up at me. Her eyebrows furrow in question and they form a little v on her forehead. I lean down and kiss it.

"Lovemaking and giving yourself to someone in that way is the farthest thing from what you had to go through," I tell her. "He took an act of pure love and twisted it into something evil."

"Intellectually I get that and know that him trying to rape me is not the same," she tells me. "It's just hard to get my body and mind on the same wavelength. Would you still want me to give myself to you?"

"Jesus yes, Ana, Baby, more than anything," I tell her. "I want so much to show you what it's meant to be like."

I take a deep breath when she bites her bottom lip in uncertainty.

"Ana," I start, trying to convince her of my feelings for her.

"Do you remember when I told you that Chuck thought we could help each other? It was because we both had something so violently taking away from us that it changed who we have become," I remind her.

"I thought he meant your scars," she remembers. "You said that they were part of it, even though that's not what Chuck meant."

I nod. I've never told anyone outside of my family about my scars before.

"I was abused as a child," I start and she catches her breath. I move her so that I am once again cradling her with her head resting on my chest. "My mother, Ella, was a single mother. I don't even know who my father is and I doubt she even knew. She was addicted to crack and she had a pimp who would whore her out. She would give him all of the money she earned from fucking men and he would give her a fix."

I wrap my arms tighter around Ana and in response she snuggles into me.

"We barely had money to live day to day. There was never any food to eat. I was near starving most of the time. I was way too small for my age and I was extremely underweight. My stomach hurt and my head hurt so much. Ella's pimp would come around every day and collect whatever money she'd earned from the night before and he would give her what she needed to get high on. He was a real son of a bitch. He hated me because I kept her from being on the street day in and day out like he wanted her to be. He would beat me with his belt. He would get pissed when she didn't make enough money to suit him and he would…he would put his cigarettes out on my chest and back. Ella didn't do anything to stop him and I don't know if it was because she was afraid or just didn't give a shit."

"Did someone report them," she asks after I stop talking. "Is that how you were adopted by the Greys?"

"The pimp reported that Ella was dead in our apartment after leaving me alone with her body for four days," I tell her and she wraps her arms around me.

"I was taken to the emergency room severely dehydrated and near dead from starvation," I tell her quickly before I lose it. "Grace was on duty that night. She took care of me and later she and my Dad, Carrick, adopted me."

"How old were you," she asks sitting up to look at me.

"Four," I tell her.

"I'm so sorry, Christian," she tells me.

"Me too, baby," I tell her. "I know some of what it feels like to have someone hurt you when you are powerless to do anything about it. I would never hurt you like that, Ana. I will never let anyone hurt you again."

"I love you," she whispers to me.

"I love you," I tell her. "So very much."

We lay down in bed and I pull her into my arms, never wanting to let her go.

"I wish I could take away what happened to you, Baby," I tell her. "I wish I could make you forget."

"You do," she tells me. "I never thought I would be able to be this close to a man. I've never been able to before. You've always made me feel so safe when I'm with you. You make me forget."

I hold her close to me as I look back over the times we spent together. She was so afraid to be alone with me and the way she tensed up when I first started to touch her. I am so amazed at how far she's come. I am so grateful that she can trust me this much after everything she's been through.

"You are so strong, Baby," I tell her. "So amazing and I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I thank God above he thought I was worthy enough to put you in my path."

"You are the one that is amazing," she tells me. "I was so scared you wouldn't want me."

"Never ever," I quickly assure her. "There is not a part of you that I don't want, Ana and I can't get enough of you."

I can feel her face as it turns into a smile.

"Ana," I call to her when something she said springs into my mind. "You said that Travis killed himself."

"After he calmed down he realized what he had tried to do to me, he was beside himself with guilt. He couldn't bring himself to look at the bruises he left on my naked body. He found me some of his old clothes and dropped me off at the closes hospital. My dad's were called and they took care of me. I found out a day later when his dad confronted me in the hospital that he had killed himself. He'd gone back to the cabin and hung himself with a sheet he tied over the ceiling beam."

"His dad confronted you," I ask her.

"He blamed me for what happened to Travis," she tells me. "He tried to attack me but the hospital staff and my Dads were there to stop him. He had Travis's gun and he shot one of the police officers that were called. He was arrested and convicted. I had to testify against him. That was the worst part out of everything if you could believe that. His lawyer was vicious. He tried to place all the blame on me. I nearly believed that it was all my fault when he was done with me."

"Baby, please tell me you don't still believe that," I ask her.

"I know better now," she tells me.

"Good," I tell her kissing the top of her head.

...

"What," I ask her when she giggles.

"You know it's in the middle of the day and we are right back in bed," she says as we've been laying here for the better part of an hour.

I turn over on my side and I pull her so that she is laying on me with her head on my chest as mine is tucked between her and the bed.

"I love being in bed with you," I tell her.

"Me too," she says with a sigh so content, it warms my heart.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I wanted to put the new years eve chapter up today since it is a light hearted chapter but the site is not my friend right now.**

 **I wish you all a very Happy New Year!**

 **Thank you for favoriting, following, PMing, pinteresting, reading and reviewing.**


	32. The Power Of The Bubble Bath

***Hopefully I am able to post easily.**

 ***Just an FYI: I am now able to see your reviews, even though they are not showing up on the site, they are being sent to me, so please do review!**

 ***Also this was part of the New Year chapter so it is a bit lighter.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirty-Two**

 **The Power Of The Bubble Bath**

 **Monday December 28, 2015**

 _Two Days Later_

 **Ana's POV**

I wake up alone in Christian's big bed. I read the note he left on his pillow that says he's gone running with Taylor, so I head to the kitchen to get something to drink.

I make my way as far as the breakfast bar and stop when I see a blonde woman standing there.

"Good morning, Miss. Steele," she says to me brightly.

"Good morning," I say to her in return. "I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she says, remembering herself. "I am Gail Jones, Mr. Grey's house manager."

"Mrs. Jones, of course," I tell her, remembering Christian's staff would be back to work today. "Nice to meet you."

"You too, Miss. Steele," she tells me. "Would you care for anything to eat this morning?"

"Um, just toast would be fine," I tell her, not sure how this works. Am I really supposed to just order up breakfast at someone else's place?

"Of course," she says. "Would you like your morning tea with your toast?"

"Uh…yes, that would be lovely, thank you," I say to her.

She gives me my toast and a cup of hot water with the Twining English breakfast tea bag on the side and I have to smile because I know Christian as told her how I like my tea.

I dip the tea bag in the hot water and let it seep for a few seconds before I fish it back out again.

I finish my tea and take my last piece of toast in Christian's bedroom with me to finish it.

I sit on the bed with my ipad and check my emails.

I see one from Brandon checking to see if I've decided to go to New York with him for New Years Eve. I put the toast in my mouth freeing my hands to respond when Christian walks in the room looking just so deliciously….wow.

He is wet and sweaty from running and he is still breathing heavy.

"Morning, Baby," he says to me as he stands at the foot of the bed and strips out of his blue T shirt.

Part of me is wondering if he is going to take off his sweat pants as I take the wedge of toast out of my mouth to talk to him. I blush bright red at my wayward thoughts.

"I really wish I knew what you were blushing about, Baby," he tells me and I giggle.

"Did you enjoy your run," I ask him.

He smirks at me when I purposely avoid talking about my blush.

"I did," he tells me. "I need to shower and then I'm all yours today."

"Aren't you going in to work at all," I ask him.

"And leave you here to get into trouble all by yourself, not a chance, my love," he tells me.

"You are very chipper this morning," I tell him in response to my new moniker.

"It's the run," he says. "It has my endorphins pumping."

"I heard that is one of the desired effects," I say to him.

He crawls on the bed and leans into me causing me to lean back.

"I do love the smell of your….endorphins," he tells me.

"Uhh, judging by the way you are flirting with me right now, I think you mean pheromones," I tell him.

"Mmmmm, they do smell good on you," he says to me and I laugh.

"You really should go running more often if this is the result," I tell him. "And maybe I'll join you."

"You running," he says to me in doubt.

"I run," I tell him.

"I'm not talking about to the bathroom, Baby," he jokes.

" Ohhh funny," I tell him.

"I'm going to take a shower and then have Gail make us something besides toast," he tells me getting up and heading for the bathroom.

"I have an appointment to see Townsend today," I talk loudly to him so that he can hear me in the bathroom.

"I'll take you," he says to me.

"You don't have to do that," I tell him.

"I want to," he says right before he steps into the shower.

I feel myself moistened as I think about him naked in the shower.

If I was bolder, I would definitely join him.

I really need to talk to Dr. Townsend.

I've gone from having naughty thoughts about Christian to all out erotic ones in a span of two days. She is either going to be very pleased or she's going to deem me certifiable. Either way I need to figure myself out.

….

"Thank you, Gail," Christian tells her as she sits our cheese and spinach omelets in front of us.

"I don't know how you ever get use to that," I tell him when we are alone.

"You will get use to it too," he tells me and I look at him. "We are planning for you to be here more."

"I thought we were going to do the weekend thing," I tell him.

"No," he says. "I would prefer us to do the everyday thing, but I know we need to give the twins time to get use to the idea. So we can do the every other day thing."

"Wow," I tell him and he smirks at me. "That is really giving them a chance to get use to us."

"They may just surprise you," he tells me. "They would invite you over everyday themselves if they knew they could."

"Yes, as their teacher," I explain to him. "Once I become Daddy's girlfriend, I instantly turn green and grow warts on my nose."

"Now that is an image," he says laughing. "And it is completely untrue."

I shake my head at him negatively.

"They are forming now," I tell him, sticking my nose up so he can see. "Soon, I'll have to hire a professional to get them removed."

"Maybe for the new years eve party," he jokes with me. "I wouldn't know how to kiss around nose warts at midnight."

"What is it," he says as I suck my breath in.

"I forgot to email Brandon," I tell him and he frowns. "He wanted me to spend New Year's Eve with him in New York."

"Unbelievable," he says to me. "He sure didn't waste any time did he? I knew he wanted you."

"What," I squeal.

"Why else would he take you there of all places and of all nights," he asks me.

"He is thinking about moving there and he wants me to come and check it out with him," I tell him.

"He probably wants you to move there with him," he warns me.

"Now you are reaching," I tell him.

"Ana," he calls my name in disbelief at my naiveté. "The guy wanted you to go to New York on the most romantic night of the year. Surely you see he has feelings for you."

I shake my head no.

"He is a friend and I want to help him out," I tell him.

"Fine, but I'm going with you," he tells me. "We can take the jet. I love New York on new years."

"Well I love you," I tell him and he smiles at me before he can help himself. "But I would prefer our first new years together to be home, in Seattle. I was going to email him and ask to go later in the new year."

"I love you too and I love that idea," he tells me. "Are we still doing to Chuck's party."

"If you want," I ask him and he nods yes. "It's a gold, silver, and black theme by the way, but not too fancy. Jose and I were supposed to hit the stores when I got back from my Dads. He can find you something cool to wear too."

"Take him to Neiman's on me," he tells me.

"You don't have to do that," I tell him.

"It will be fun," he continues as he takes out his cell phone and texts. "Make sure you pick up Charlotte and Derrick too."

"Now that is just too much …."I start to tell him, but I'm stopped by my cell phone going off.

* * *

 **Jose: NEIMAN'S GIRL! LET'S GO! COME AND GET MY ASS!**

* * *

My mouth drops open.

"What did you just do," I groan, knowing there is no way in hell I am going to get out of it now that Jose knows he gets to go to his favorite if heaven was a shopping mall store.

"I am determined to make next year the best one you've ever had and I want to start it off right," he tells me.

"It will be the best as long as I'm with you," I tell him. "You don't have to spend money on me to make me happy."

His cell phone goes off and I crane my neck to see what he and Jose are planning.

"Ana, I know you are not with me for my money," he assures me. "But that doesn't change the fact that I do have it. I have a lot of it in fact and I love spending it on you to make you happy. It makes me happy. So, please let me spoil you?"

I want to protest but he gives me a grin that has me squirming in my seat.

"Okay," I whisper.

I'd say yes to anything if he keeps looking at me like that.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I walk Ana in to Dr. Townsend's office. I was quite taken aback when I first found out that she and Jess have the same therapist but Ana didn't seem to mind so I left it alone. As long as she is comfortable with her, then I have no problem with it.

She made this impromptu appointment today because she is concerned about her sudden lax in attitude when it comes to things sexual. I see it as a good thing. That maybe she realizes she can trust me, but Ana being Ana, she wants to make sure everything is going as it should and of course, I am here supporting her.

We walk hand and hand into the waiting room. It feels good not having to pretend we are not a couple. I am enjoying the public display of affection up until we run right into the girlfriend stealing fucker known as Dr. Brandon Ramsey

He takes note of her hand in mine and I raise an eyebrow at him in challenge.

"Ramsey," I say to him coldly

"Grey," he says back to me.

Ana looks from him to me in an effort to figure out the pissing contest in her honor.

"Hey, Brandon," she finally says to him.

"How are you, Ana," he breaks eye contact with me to greet her.

Dr. Townsend calls her in before she can answer.

"I'll be right here waiting for you, Baby," I tell her, giving her a kiss on the lips. I stop short of sticking my tongue down her throat.

She narrows her eyes at me in understanding of why I am making such a show of us kissing, but she leaves for her appointment without saying a word about it.

She lets Brandon know she'll speak with him later.

"Take this," I stop him from walking away after Ana leaves. "It might prove useful."

"What's this," he asks me, looking over the business card I just handed him.

"The name of my realtor in New York," I tell him. "Since Ana won't be joining you on your little New Year's Rocking Eve Excursion."

"You don't deserve her, you do realize that," he tells me flat out.

"On that we agree," I tell him. "But I have her none the less."

"You won't make her happy," he warns me.

"I plan to prove you wrong," I tell him. "I will do everything in my power to make her happy, that includes putting up with you as her friend, but don't push me. You wouldn't like to see how I act when I feel threatened."

"Fair warning, then" he tells me. "I plan on pleading my case to her."

"Good luck with that," I tell him. "After you're all done begging and pleading, she'll let you down easy and come home to me. She'll be in my arms and in my bed."

…

 **Ana's POV**

"Ana," Dr. Townsend says to me as I sit down in the large plush chair opposite her in her office. "What brings you in today?"

"Well Doc," I tell start. "I'm having…..cravings."

"Cravings," she says confused.

"Sexual cravings," I clarify.

"I see," she says. The only thing betraying her professional demeanor is the slight widening of her brown eyes. "Can you be more specific?"

"I took your advice and I told Christian everything," I tell her.

"Judging by the smile on your face, it went well," she tells me and I nod.

"It went great," I tell her. "At first I thought he was disgusted with me but that was far from the case. He took me in his arms and he held me. I felt so safe. He even told me about the physical abuse he suffered as a little boy."

"So you feel he is a kindred spirit of sorts," she tells me and I nod.

"But the thing is, he said that he still wants me," I tell her. "That he wants to show me what making love is **really** about."

"And that has gotten you curious," she tells me.

"It seems so," I tell her. "He and I have been inseparable since I came back early from LA. And ever since I told him about my past, he has been very attentive and reassuring."

"That's good," she tells me. "It's what you hoped would happen."

"It's perfect," I tell her. "But now, I have these thoughts that are sexual…I mean I've always had them since I met him…they were just a little naughty, but now they are downright nasty."

"In what way," she asks me.

"Well," I start. "He had just come in from a run this morning and he was all sweaty and he looked good. He took off his shirt and it made me feel a sensation down in my….pelvic region….by just looking at him. I even wanted him to take off his sweat pants!"

"Did you ask him to take them off," she asks me.

"What," I squeal. "No, of course not!"

"Why not," she asks me.

"I can't ask him to do that," I tell her.

"Ana," she calls my name sternly as she leans toward me in her big brown chair. Her black bobbed cut hair moves forward on to her face before she takes her fingers and rakes it back. "He is your boyfriend. Yes you can ask him. In fact I am asking you to do just that."

"You can't ask me to do that," I tell her.

"I sure can," she tells me, putting both of her fisted hands under her chin. "As your therapist, I can ask you. As Christian's girlfriend, you can ask him, and as your boyfriend he can also ask you."

"But what if I don't want to," I ask her.

"Then say no," she tells me gently. "Ana, Travis Carson took away the power of the word no. You told him no. He ignored you and proceeded to do one of the most heinous things a woman could ever experience and that has made you feel like you don't have a say. From what you've told me about Christian Grey and from what you have told him about what happened to you, I have no doubt that your no will be a very powerful word for him."

She sits back in her chair and contemplates me for a moment.

"Ana, when you were sexually assaulted it made you feel powerless," she explains. "I want you to understand that making love empowers you. You are in control. You can say what happens. You can say when it happens and you can say NO. You can also freely give that power to your partner when you feel he won't abuse it."

She stops and lets me sit while that soaks in.

"He walked in on me when I was naked," I confess to her.

"And," she says a bit too eagerly and I laugh.

"And I didn't freak out," I tell her. "In fact, I wondered what he looked like while he was taking a shower."

"That is extreme progress," she says, pleased. "Continue with that. Try the being naked together thing. Stand naked together, stay in the room while you all dress and undress, have a bubble bath together…"

"A bubble bath," I complain. "I can't see Christian taking a bubble bath."

"Oh, I'm sure he would for you," she tells me. "It could also be very relaxing for him. You never know the power of the bubble bath, especially a romantic one."

"That sounds like an awful lot of teasing," I tell her, worried that Christian will get frustrated.

"Not teasing," she assures me. "You are building up to something. The more comfortable you are with Christian, the better the experience will be for you. Discuss it with him."

"I don't know, Doc," I tell her.

"Then I'll talk to him," she tells me, getting up.

"No," I tell her, adopting her stern tone.

"See," she says sitting back down and smiling at me. "You are getting powerful already."

I roll my eyes at her in frustration.

"Talk to Christian," she stresses. "He may surprise you."

…

"So, how did it go Baby," Christian asks me as we sit at the breakfast bar eating the submarine sandwiches Mrs. Jones prepared for lunch. He knew I didn't feel right talking in the SUV with Taylor just a seat in front of us.

"Good," I tell him between bites. "She is very pleased at my progress."

"Are you pleased," he asks me.

"Uh…ye..yeah, I'm pleased," I tell him.

"Well then, that's good," he tells me, feeling better about things and I nod at him.

….

 **Christian's POV**

"Okay, spill it Ana, what did she really say," I ask her when I get her alone in my bedroom where, ironically she feels the most comfortable.

"Well, she was very encouraged by the fact that I told you everything about what happened to me and she said that we should see if we could move things along to where I want them to be," she tells me.

"What does she suggest we do," I ask her.

"I told her about me not freaking out when you say me naked and I told her about how I felt earlier today when you took off your shirt in front of me…" she says.

"Wait," I say to her. "You felt what when I took off my shirt?"

"I felt something in my…down there…place," she tells me and my eyebrows shoot up my forehead in shocked amusement.

"Are you telling me that you felt aroused," I ask her and she nods.

 _YES!_

I imaginarily fist pump.

"I wanted you to take off your sweatpants," she tells me and I nearly faint from excitement.

 _Play it cool Grey. Play it fucking cool!_

"I would have been more than happy to," I tell her, like she was asking me to bring her a glass of water.

"She wants us to…get naked," she tells me.

 _I love that woman!_

My CEO poker expression has long since abandoned me and I am trying my damndest not to blind her with my now beaming face.

"She wanted me to ask if you would be okay with us seeing each other naked.."

 _HELL YES!_

"And undressing in the same room together..."

 _HELL YES!YES!_

"or um...maybe taking a bubble bath together…"

"A bubble bath," I think out loud. I never bothered with them before but damn if I do not want one right now. "I love bubble baths."

"So, you really wouldn't mind," she ask me and she is actually surprised.

"Baby, why would I mind," I ask her.

"It just seems like a slippery slope," she tells me. "I don't want to frustrate you anymore than I probably already am."

"Come here," I tell her wrapping my arms around her and pressing my lips to hers making her moan. "At the risk of sounding pompous, nothing would please me more."

"You have the patience and the will power of a Saint," she tells me.

"You are simply worth the wait, baby," I explain to her, truthfully.

"Awww," she says before kissing me. "You are so sweet."

"Let's go," I tell her taking her hand.

"Where are we going," she asks me.

"To get bubble bath," I tell her.

Taylor is already waiting by the elevator for us and she looks at him in wonder. He smiles uncharacteristically at her and I know she wants to ask him how he knew we were leaving.

Taylor and I watch as she glances up looking for cameras and I smirk at him when she doesn't see them.

"It's a military six sense," he tells her, tapping his temple with his index finger. She nods in serious understanding and I cough to hide my laugh.

…..

"Christian," she says to me as we pull up to Victoria's Secret.

"Don't worry," I tell her, waving Taylor away so that I may help her out of the SUV myself. "We're just here for the bubble bath."

I pull her along, past the skimpy lingerie and head to the back wall where all of the body wash is. This was one of the things Jose suggested when I was trying to figure out what to get her for Christmas, so I know she likes this stuff.

We take our time smelling each one trying to figure out what we like the best. Unable to decide on a favorite, I just grab a few of each along with the body mists and lotions Ana didn't think I saw her eyeing.

On the way to check out, we pass a display of vibrant pink silk short sets I know she would like so I grab one for her along with the matching waffle bathrobe and slippers.

"Christian," Ana scolds at the impulse purchase.

"We are going to do this right," I reason and she giggles at me.

…..

After dinner, Ana is sitting on the bed trying to figure out what to do with the hoard of bath items Taylor just brought in when my cell phone goes off.

"Shit," I say out loud when I read the message from Ros.

"What is it," she says looking up at me.

"Baby, I have put out a fire," I tell her.

"Of course," she tells me.

"I won't be but an hour or so," I tell her. "Come and get me if you need me."

"Do what you have to do," she tells me and I give her a kiss.

"Don't you dare start bubble bathing without me," I tell her.

"I won't," she laughs and I head off to my home office.

…

 **Ana's POV.**

"Where are you," Jose says when I call his cell. "I thought we were going to Nieman's."

"I'm in Christian's bedroom," I tell him.

"And you call me," he says.

"He's not in here right now," I tell him rolling my eyes. "We are going to take a bubble bath together before bed..."

"Now that is so romantic," he interrupts me. "I love when Ricky and I do that…"

"Jose," I call for his attention. "He and I have never done that before."

"Ohhhh," he says in understanding. "Okay. Listen to me Sistergirl, The Man is a gentleman, okay. He is not going to do anything you don't want him to do. You are beautiful as hell. You are smart as hell. You are strong as hell. And he loves the hell out of you, so this is nothing, you hear me…nothing to worry about."

"You're right," I tell him.

"You know I'm right," he tells me. "And on some slim chance he acts the fool, we. got. your. back. gurl. Five minutes we will be over there and Ricky will snip it off, honey, you hear me. Snip it off!"

I laugh.

"Good bye Jose," I tell him.

"Love you," he tells me.

"OH MY GAWD, RICKY..." I hear him yell before he hangs up the phone.

…..

The problem at GEH took longer than Christian thought it would, but he text to let me know he was on his way in.

I quickly undress. I find another button down of his and I put it on to cover myself. After debating whether or not to leave my hair up or down, I pin it up to keep it from getting too wet.

I run the bath water and decide on the enchanted apple bubble bath since it's not so strong and girly smelling.

I am just turning off the water when I see Christian standing in the door way in nothing put his pants.

"Hi," I say to him nervously.

"Hi," he says back to me. His bare feet make their way over to where I'm standing. "You okay, Baby? We can do this another day.."

"No," I tell him. "I'm fine, really."

He nods.

…

He steps away from me and takes off his jeans and boxer briefs.

My breath hitches as he is now standing gloriously naked in front of me. He truly is a grey eyed Adonis. On their own accord, my eyes drift down over his body. I bite my lip when I see the light trail of copper hair that leads to his very large erection.

My eyes dart back up to his face when I see it twitch. I quickly release my lip as he grins at me.

He nods for me to take off his shirt I'm wearing.

I turn my back on him and as a courtesy he turns his too although there is a mirror behind him that I know he can see me in just as well.

I take a deep breath as I unbutton his shirt. I glance back over my shoulder at him and I see him waiting patiently for me to decide if I want to go through with the bath.

I slip off the shirt and let in fall to the floor.

I am a bundle of nerves as I quickly walk over and get in the tub. I sink in the warm water grateful for the bubbles that are now covering me.

...

 **Christian's POV**

 _Jesus Christ she is absolutely perfect._

I watch mesmerized as she walks over to the tub and gets in.

Once she is under the bubbles I turn around and go over to join her.

She scoots up allowing me room to get in behind her.

She sits with her knees tucked tight up to her chest and my heart breaks.

"Is this okay, Baby," I check with her and she nods her head yes, but her whole body is tense.

"I love you, Ana," I whisper to her as I lean forward. I brush away the bubbles from her right shoulder and gently press my lips to it. "Please trust me."

I reach for her and she leans back into me.

She lays her head back on my shoulder and looks up at me. I pepper her head face with kisses until I feel her body relax on top of mine.

Eventually, her hands that were once at her breast disappear under the water and I begin to wash her with the soft sponge we bought earlier today.

The bubbles begin to settle down in the tub leaving her more exposed to me.

"This stuff smells pretty good," I tell her, trying to keep things light as I brush the sponge over her belly and slowly across her breast.

Her breathing begins to pick up when I touch her nipples with the soft sponge.

"Do you want me to stop, Baby," I whisper the question to her.

"No," she breaths out, shaking her head.

I run the sponge along her shoulders and arms before returning to her breast and down to her stomach.

"Mmmmm," she moans as I kiss her lips. She opens her mouth to allow me access causing me to moan in return as I move the sponge over the tops of her thighs and back up again.

Praying I'm not pushing my luck, I slowly inch the sponge down past her belly button. It rest at the apex of her closed legs waiting for her to open them or keep them close.

She dips her head to look at the clear view of the sponge as the bubbles are all but gone. I nuzzle her hair and kiss her forehead.

I am just about to move the sponge back up her belly when I feel her legs shift open.

She watches as it goes between her legs and I slowly wash her. I move the sponge allowing her to close her legs again.

"Mmmmm, baby," I moan out as she brings her lips up to kiss me. She turns so that she is slightly facing me. The contact of her harden nipples against my chest is quickly driving me over the edge.

She pulls back with a gasp as I shift and my erection presses hard into her leg.

I shrug guiltily and try to readjust myself but it pulls us too low in the water causing a wave to splash her in the face.

"Christian," she squeals sitting up.

"Sorry, baby," I chuckle and she splashes me in retaliation.

I begin to tickle her arm pits. She squirms to get away causing the water to move violently around us.

She quickly turns and presses her lips to mine knowing that it would end all tickling.

I instantly stop and reach for her, sliding her up onto my body once again.

"Your body feels so good, baby," I tell her and she moans in response.

...

I feel her tremble as the water begins to get cold. I help her out of the tub and dry her off.

She smiles at me when she catches me enjoying the drying off process a little too much.

I raise up the enchanted apple body lotion and she quickly nods.

I slowly lotion every inch of her and watch as her eyes flutter close at my touch.

She takes the lotion and begins to apply it to me purposely avoiding my chest. She looks at me and I know she is remembering the reason why she can't touch my chest.

She bites her lip and it arouses me all over again because she damn sure isn't biting it out of uncertainty anymore.

...

"I never thought I'd be allowed to touch you like that," I confess to her as we lay in bed with nothing but our underwear on. I have my arm draped around her waist as she is laying with her back to my front.

"You mean like this," she takes my hand and rests it on her bare breast.

"Just like this, Baby," I tell her as I caress the soft skin.

"I love you," she says to me.

"I love you." I tell her.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I was left with a little more time on my hands, which means I wrote a bit too much for this chapter. I had to divide it into two parts otherwise you would have had about ten thousand words to read instead of the five.**

 **I hope you all are having a great start to hopefully what will be a wonderful year for us all!**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	33. Some Enchanted Evening

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirty-Three**

 **Some Enchanted Evening**

 **Thursday, December 30, 2015**

 _Three Days Later_

 **Ana's POV**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: The Circle**

 **Date: December 30, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **are on their way over, so I will be leaving soon. I will see you when you come home.**

 **Your girlfriend, that is totally in love with you, but really hates shopping even if it's at Neiman's, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Are you sure**

 **Date: December 30, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **You don't want Ryan to drive you?**

 **Christian Grey**

 **Your totally in love boyfriend who insist that you enjoy yourself because he is devoted to making you happy and CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: We will**

 **Date: December 30, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **be fine on our own, I promise. And you make me very happy just by breathing.**

 **Your girlfriend who loves watching you breathe, especially when you're sleeping so peacefully, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: I am**

 **Date: December 30, 2015**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **breathing heavy for you right now, Baby, just thinking about you naked in my arms.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **Your boyfriend who loves the feel of your body and CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: I don't think**

 **Date: December 30, 2015**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **Blushing pink goes well with the gold, silver, and black theme we are going for tomorrow.**

 **Your girlfriend, who can't wait to be in your arms tonight, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

I put my iPad away and grab my phone off of its charger in preparation to go.

I give myself a once over again in the full length mirror and I barely recognize the woman that is smiling back at me.

She looks happy and content.

The feminist in me is wagging her index finger as she tuts at me for being this crazy over a guy, but the little girl who use to dream about being in love with a kind and caring man that thinks she hung the moon, when she was locked in her room afraid of the creepy new man in her mother's bed, is cheering me on.

I get the text from Jose saying they are downstairs and I go to meet them. Christian wanted Ryan to drive us, but I haven't driven my own car in so long I am going to forget how pretty soon.

"Oh look at you," Jose says getting out of Ryan's SUV to give me a hug.

"Who is this girl and what has she done to my Ana," Derrick comes over to join us.

"Men," Char says. "You can't just let us women be happy."

"Oh please, with your tomboy ass," Jose says to Char. "I am more of a woman than you will ever be, honey."

"Thank you again, Ryan," I tell him as I notice him shifting uncomfortably.

"Anytime, Miss. Steele," he tells me and makes his exit.

"Oh yes thank you, Ryan," Jose says to him and he quickly nods.

"Stop that," I scold him and he waves me away.

...

We all pile into my car. Jose rides shotgun this time instead of Char.

"I cannot believe we are going to Neiman's girl," he tells me and I laugh. "I don't know how you don't like shopping. That should really be a sin. It should be the eighth deadly sin. Thou shalt like shopping."

"I think that would be a commandment, Baby," Derrick corrects him.

"Well that too," Jose says.

"Hey what is this," Char asks as she holds up a tiny Christmas gift for me to see.

"I have no idea," I tell her, quickly glancing at it. "Where did it come from?"

"It was stuck in the seat," she tells me. "Can I open it?"

"Go for it," I tell her.

"Nice," she says holding up a gold bracelet.

"Who gave you that," Derrick says. "Read the card."

"From your secret admirer," Char reads.

"Probably one of my students," I tell her.

"Let me see it," Jose says reaching back to take it from Char.

"It's real," he says. "His parent must have bought it for him to give to you."

"I'll find out who when I get back to work," I tell them.

"Kids are so sweet," Jose says putting the gift in my bag.

…

 **Christian's POV**

"Mr. Grey, your bother is waiting to see you," Andrea's voice comes through the intercom.

"Send him in," I tell her.

"Hey, little Bro," Elliot says coming in and sitting down.

"What's going on El," I tell him.

"Damn," he says sniffing. "Is that you?"

"Is what me," I ask him.

He comes close and sniffs me before I push him away.

"You smell good as fuck," he says. "What is that you got on?"

"Pear glaze," I tell him and he looks at me like I've just grown another head.

"From Victoria's Secret," I tell him and he laughs.

"I didn't know you were into wearing fruity scents," he tells me. "I mean you smell fruity as hell. If I was a girl and not your brother, I would be all over you."

"It's for Ana," I tell him. "She likes it and we are into this whole bubble bathing together thing."

He tries and fails to hide his amusement.

"Well damn bro," he sniffs again. "I got to get Kate some of that shit. I mean be careful when you leave here. These chicks just might jump you."

"Why are you here," I ask him.

"Just checking in on you one last time before the new year," he tells me.

"Why are you really here," I ask him.

"Mom is after me to get you and Ana over to the old homestead for dinner," he tells me.

"When," I ask him.

"Seriously," he says, shocked. "She made me promise to beg you."

I laugh.

"I shouldn't have given in so soon," I say disappointed.

"Can't change it now," he tells me. "I'll pick a day where the grandparents aren't circling and give you a heads up."

"Deal," I tell him. "It will give me a chance to warm Ana up to the idea if I have to."

"Great," he says getting up to go. "Happy New Year little bro."

"Happy New Year and kiss Katie for me," I say to get him pissed off one last time this year.

"Fuck you," he says without turning around and I laugh.

...

Elliot leaves me to my work but it is a lost cause. I feel like Ebenezer Scrooge after he's had his heart melted by the three sprits of Christmas. I am just too damn giddy to get anything done right now. I feel like joining the ole penny pincher in doing a jig.

Ana and I have gotten extremely close these last few days. The bubble baths and getting her comfortable with us being naked has worked very well.

She has no qualms about us being naked around each other.

Now she lets me wash her with my bare hands instead of the sponge.

She even surprised me by stepping into the shower with me yesterday morning.

 _"_ _Oh no you don't," I pulled her back in when she freaked out and was about to step out of the shower again._

 _"_ _I can't believe I'm doing this," she told me as_ _I pulled her into me._

 _She put her arms around me and buried her face in my chest._

 _"_ _I'm so glad that you are," I told her._

 _"_ _You look different wet without the bubbles," she told me._

 _Once again her eyes glanced over my body. I got the same reaction as I always get when she looks at me._

 _"_ _Well," I asked her when she was done with her inspection._

 _"_ _Well what," she said to me._

 _"_ _What do you think," I asked her._

 _"_ _Of what," she said confused and I glanced down at him._

 _"_ _OH...um..." she started. "He's very… uh…nice."_

 _"_ _Nice," I repeated, not sure I was liking the word._

 _"_ _Very," she stressed, "and very big."_

 _"_ _Now that's better," I told her, "and?"_

 _"_ _and very….cute," she finished._

 _"_ _Nice and cute," I repeated._

 _"_ _Mhm…and don't forget big," she says to me and I laugh._

 _"_ _Coming from anybody but you, Baby and that would really impinge on my manhood," I told her._

 _"_ _Who else is going to be looking at him," she countered._

 _"_ _Fair point, well made, Baby," I told her._

 _"_ _Trust me, he is extremely manly," she told me, as she looked down at him again, unabashed the second time. "I mean for him being so pink and all…"_

 _"_ _Okay, thank you, Baby," I stopped her and she giggled. The sound caused my dick to stir even more._

 _"Wow, how big can he actually get,"_ _she said in surprised awe which caused me to chuckle at her._

She made it up to him by actually washing him along with the rest of me of course. I'm hard all over again remembering the feel of her soft soapy hands on him.

 _Damn I want her so bad._

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Hello, you must be Anastasia Steele," A beautiful and immaculately dressed blonde comes up to us as soon as we hit the door to Neiman's.

"I am," I tell her.

"My name is Caroline Acton," she holds out her hand to me and I shake it. "I am Mr. Grey's personal shopper and he asked me to assist you and your friends today."

"He has a personal shopper, oh Jesus," Jose says fanning himself to keep from fainting.

We sit while she brings over outfit after outfit for Char and me to try on while Jose and Derrick decide to go poke around on their own.

Char and I decide to go fringe this year. I fall in love with this jet black bodysuit with ombre gold and black fringe about the top. Mrs. Acton found these cute sparkly gold peep toe stilettos to match. Char decides on a silver and gold fringed 1920s style flapper dress that just looks like it was made for her.

"What about this," Jose comes over holding up a shiny gold vest and blazer.

"You would look amazing in that," Char tells him.

"Not for me, for GEA," he tells us. "It just screams for one night of the year I can ditch the gray no nonsense power suit and let my inner fun God come out."

"Totally," I tell him. "We'll get it."

"Yaay," he says.

By the time we are done with Neiman's, we have enough gold and silver to open up our own pawn shop. Mrs. Acton wouldn't even give us the price of how much any of it cost explaining that Christian left strict orders. She handed me an additional bag and when I questioned her, she explained it was bubble bath. I thanked her before I turned beet red and high tailed it out of there.

...

"How did it go, Baby," Christian asks me when he comes in from work.

"It went amazing," I tell him a little too excited and he is pleased. "Jose got you this badass vest and blazer."

"I can't wait to wear it," he tells me.

"It's not really what you are use to, but I think you will look hot in it and so does Jose," I tell him, trying to sell it to him.

"It's that bad huh," he says and laugh.

"No," I squeal.

"Yes," I admit and he shakes his head.

…

 **Thursday, December 31, 2015**

 **New Year's Eve**

 **Christian's POV**

I stand naked staring at the blindingly bright gold vest and blazer Jose swears I'll look hot in, in disbelief.

"You don't have to wear it you know," Ana comes up and stands behind me.

"No," I tell her, turning around so that she is in my arms. "It's time to step out of my own comfort zone."

We've just got out of the bathtub and her skin is exceptionally smooth.

"By wearing metallic gold," she asks me.

"Why not," I tell her. "It's keeping with the occasion."

"Okay," she says. "I can't wait to see it on you."

"You and me both," I tell her and she laughs.

"Miss. Steele, Mr. Rodriguez is here to see you," Taylor knocks on the door to tell me.

"I'll be in the guest room," I tell Christian. "Promise you won't come in until I'm ready."

"I promise, Baby," I tell her.

….

 **Ana's POV**

"OH MY GOD," Jose comes into the great room twirling around like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. "This is where I was meant to be. I was made for this."

"I know," I tell him, honestly. "You so were."

"One day, Ana, gurl," he vows with his right hand over his heart. "One day."

…

"What the heck am I suppose to do with these," I tell Jose when he gives me electric hair clippers.

"They're for your privates," he tells me.

"My…oh you have got to be kidding," I tell him and he raises and eyebrow at me to let me know he is not kidding. "He has already seen it and he hasn't said anything."

"Of course he's not going to say anything," Jose says to me. "The Man has couth, okay. He is not going to tell you to shave your bush. That is what your GBFF is for."

"Okay," I laugh at this blunder that has become what Jose calls Operation Get Ana Laid On New Years.

"And put this cream on after, so you won't get irritated," he tells me.  
"Don't worry its oral safe and it tastes like cherries."

"Oh God," I groan.

Me being me, I confided in him that I wanted tonight to be the night I give myself to Christian.

I was looking for a little moral support, maybe an Atta girl, but not Jose. He has made it his mission to make my first time special and I do love him for it.

"Okay so you talked to Mrs. Jones and she knows what to do right," he checks with me as he curls my hair.

"Yes, she is going to get everything ready for a romantic date," I assure him.

"Oh I am so excited," he squeals.

"I'm glad one of us is," I tell him, getting nervous.

"It's going to be fine," he tells me. "You deserve this experience, okay. You deserve to be with a man who worships you and let me tell you The Man worships you. No other man is worthy of you in my opinion. I would not be on board with this if it was any other man, you hear me."

"Yes, Daddy Jose," I call him the name I gave him on Thanksgiving.

...

"Baby," Christian says at the door.

Jose left about twenty minutes ago to get ready himself and I guess I've been sitting here this whole time.

I take a deep breath and open the door.

"Wow," I say to Christian as he stands decked out in gold. Damn if Jose wasn't right, he looks so good. "You look terrific!"

"You look incredible," he tells me. "Damn, baby, I want you in fringe and nothing but fringe."

…

"You Okay," Christian asks me as we pull up to the Ramsey's. "You're too quiet."

"I just want tonight to be perfect," I tell him.

"It will be," he assures me. "I am here with you on the most romantic night of the year. Nothing is going to go wrong. Let's just relax and have a good time bringing in the New Year together."

"Deal," I tell him.

We make our way inside and over to where Chuck and Agnes are.

"You two look wonderful," Agnes says as she and Chuck greet us.

"Thank you," we say together.

"And you look marvelous," Christian adds kissing Agnes on her cheek. I do believe I am not the only lady he can make blush.

"You two enjoy yourselves," Chuck says, pleased to see us as he kisses me on the cheek and pats Christian on the back.

We walk through the crowded dance floor and find Jose and Derrick dancing. I spot Char nearby in a mass of fringe and hair, shaking everything she's got with her date for tonight.

Christian and I go over to join them.

"You two look great," Jose and Derrick both tell us.

"So do you," we tell them as they are both in complimentary silver and black suits.

...

"Ahhhh," Jose yells in excitement when his song Can't Feel My Face by The Weekend comes on and I am pretty sure that Char has picked out the playlist for this year.

His excitement catches on as a wave of us start doing what was supposed to be a conga line but it turned into a freak fest which is a lot more fun.

I am sandwiched between Char who is in front of me with her ass in my crotch and Christian who is in back of me with my ass in his and behind him is Agnes. Derrick is behind her and I nearly die laughing when I see him tap her on her butt.

The dance kept on going. It gained steam and even more people as The Weekend went off and Drakes Hotline Bling came on.

Christian and I were handed weird drinks, by Char and Derrick. By what I think was the third one we were feeling pretty good.

We stumble out on to my favorite terrace together for some fresh air.

"I can't believe Chuck and Agnes this year," I tell him as we watch them in the middle of the dance floor grooving to Beyonce's All The Single Ladies with Char who is going crazy for her Anthem and her parents are loving every minute of it.

"They are really living it up," Christian laughs as Agnes and Char start doing the no ring on my finger hand shake together, although Agnes' ring is clearly blinging.

"My buzz is getting stronger," I tell him, not being able to stop the effects of the alcohol I just drank.

"Let me get you some water," he tells me. "Don't move and for Christ's sakes don't faint."

"Yes, Sir," I giggle for no reason and he smirks at me but hesitates to leave. "I'm not feeling faint, really."

He goes in search of water and I stand looking out into the blackness of Puget Sound.

"Having a good time," Brandon says as he comes out to join me.

"Hey," I say to him. "I am. I thought you were going to New York."

I had spoke to him briefly and told him I couldn't make the trip because I wanted to spend the night here with Christian. He seemed to understand and I assumed he was going anyway without me.

"Changed my mind," he shrugs.

"About moving," I ask him.

"Just about going tonight," he tells me. "I wanted to see you."

He gives me this doe eyed look as he tries to work up the nerve to speak it seems.

 _Crap! Christian was right. I see it all over his face. How could I have missed it before?_

"I wanted to talk to you too," I tell him quickly before he could speak again. "I wanted to thank you for making me see Dr. Townsend. She has really helped me to…uh realize how much Christian means to me."

"Do you mean that much to him," he asks me.

"He made his intentions clear from the beginning," I tell him. "I knew of his obligations. I should have trusted him more. We are together now Brandon and I love him very much."

He smiles.

"Was that you way of letting me down easy," he asks me.

"I've never done it before," I confess. "I hope I wasn't a bitch."

"No," he tells me. "You were perfect as always. Thank you for not letting me make an even bigger fool of myself."

"You wouldn't have," I tell him. "I hope we can still be friends."

"Sure," he tells me, defeated. "Happy New Year, Ana."

"Happy New Year," I tell him.

He passes Char in the entrance way and she gives him her I'm sorry look.

"I feel like shit," I tell when she joins me on the terrace.

"It had to be done," she says.

"Wait, you knew," I ask her.

"Jeez, since he first met you, Ana," she tells me. "But you weren't exactly open to….that.

"Now, I feel like day old shit," I tell her. "Here I am spilling my guts, going on and on about Christian to him."

"Stop it," she scolds me. "You did nothing wrong. I told him where your heart lies. I guess he had to take his chance. Listen, you can't focus on Brandon tonight, now here comes your guy. Let it go and have fun. I'll go check on him."

"Did I just run her off," Christian says handing me the water and I sip it. "Drink all of it."

I chug it down.

"You didn't run her off," I tell him. "She went to go check on her brother. You were right, by the way."

"What the fuck did he do," he asks me.

"He didn't get a chance to do or say anything," I tell him. "I figured it out and told him how much I love you before he could."

"That guy is a jackass to bring this up tonight," Christian fumes.

"It's done and over with," I tell him. "Let's not let it ruin our last night this year."

"Well when you put it that way," he smiles, letting it go.

….

We sit at a long dinner table that is beautifully decorated with gold accents from the candles to the flatware and the wine glasses.

"So what is your new year's resolution anyway," I ask Christian.

"There is absolutely nothing left for me to resolve, baby," he winks at me and I giggle. I think the alcohol has gotten to him too.

After dinner we are ushered into the ball room where we dance to a more mellow selection of music picked to evoke romance.

I try not to notice Brandon standing on the sidelines watching Christian and I dance.

We get lost in our own world as he holds me in his arms and moves me slowly around the dance floor to Some Enchanted Evening by Frank Sinatra.

"How fitting is this," he tells me. "I remember Halloween when we first danced. You enchanted me that night and I have been under your spell ever since."

"And here I was thinking it was you who was enchanting me," I tell him.

"Oh no, Baby, it's all you," he tells me. "And you didn't have to do a damn thing. Those butterfly wings and these baby blues were stronger than anything you could have ever conjured up in the blackest of cauldrons. I was a goner."

He pulls me close and I melt in his arms

...

Before long the countdown to the New Year begins and I feel excitement in the pit of my stomach.

Never have I been so sad to see a year past and so hopeful for another one to begin.

2015 truly was the best year of my life.

"It only gets better, baby," Christian says as the countdown reaches zero and silver, gold, and black balloons begin to fall. "Happy New Year."

"Mmmm," I moan as he kisses me for the first time in 2016. "Happy New Year."

We spend the next hour toasting the New Year together with our friends singing a pitifully off key rendition of Auld Lang Syne.

I drink a second glass of champagne to still the butterflies that are growing in my stomach because after tonight, I know things will change for Chrisitian and me.

As nervous as I am, I can't wait to truly be his and only his.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 ***I will try to update more frequently, although this New Year is proving to be very busy for me right now.**

 ***Don't forget to check out pinterest for all of the images and songs.**

 ***Thank you for reading and reviewing. I am seeing your reviews even though I can't respond to them like I want to.**


	34. What It's Meant To Be Like

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirty-Four**

 **What It's Meant To Be Like**

 **Ana's POV**

We ride in comfortable silence back to Escala a little after 1 A.M.

Jose managed to pull me aside and give me my final pep talk before we left the Ramsey's.

 _"You got this gurl," he told me. "The Man will be eating out of your hand, literally, okay. No freak outs with the man you love. Don't forget to breath. And whatever you do, don't expect a big orgasm his first time breaking through your gate. It never happens. I hear it hurts like hell too, so be ready for that..."_

 _"This is not helping me," I told him._

 _"Sorry," he told me, putting his hands on his cheeks. "I'm nervous."_

 _I rolled my eyes at him being nervous._

 _"What if I don't know what to do," I asked him._

 _"Honey, just lay there," he told me. "It's your first time, okay, nobody expects much from a V card renderer. Lovemaking only gets better with time, so just relax and let it come to you."_

 _"I am so going to suck," I groaned._

 _"Good idea," he told me, surprised I thought of it. "Suck it like a lollipop."_

 _"That's not what I meant," I told him as I punched his arm._

 _"Try anyway," he told me. "You can't go wrong and he'll love it."_

I catch Taylor's eye now in the review and he cracks a knowing smile. I shyly smile back before I quickly look away.

My God, does everybody know what I'm about to do?

 _Get a grip Ana. He is just being nice. It's not like you have a scarlet letter on your forehead._

...

"Are you still feeling dizzy, Baby," Christian asks me as we ride the elevator up to Escala.

I shake my head no.

He takes off his Blazer and vest and drapes them over his arm before he unbuttons the top of his black shirt.

He thinks my light headedness has something to do with too much alcohol, but that is far from the case. I am just so nervous I want to pass out.

 _You can do this, Ana. You can do this._

I keep repeating the mantra to myself.

"Come," he says after locking the elevator and saying goodnight to Taylor," Let's get you to bed."

I try not to laugh at just how right he doesn't even know he is at this moment.

I take a deep breath as he opens his bedroom door.

I pray Mrs. Jones didn't let me down with my romantic surprise.

"Wow," he says coining my phrase.

As I look around the room, I breathe a sigh of relief. I had nothing to worry about where she was concerned. In fact she really outdid herself.

Everything is bathed in nothing but the soft light of the white flameless candles that are placed about the room. The linen has been changed to a creamy white and the bed is sprinkled with fresh red rose petals.

I try not to blush at the bathrobes she has laid out thinking how obvious I must have been when I asked her to do all of this for me.

"Baby…"Christian says at a complete loss because he didn't plan this.

"I asked Mrs. Jones to help me out with my surprise for you," I tell him.

"It's beautiful," he says to me as he drops his blazer and vest on the chair near the door. "Are we bubble bathing tonight?"

"Uh, maybe in the morning," I tell him. "But right now I would really like for you to….take me to bed."

His eyebrows shoot up to the top of his head in surprise, but he refuses to let himself believe what I am saying.

"Okay," he says. "It's been a long day. We should get some…sleep?"

He says it in a form of a question so I shake my head no.

"Baby," he breathes out running his hands through his hair. "We don't have to do this. You don't have to do this…"

"I want to," I tell him.

"Ana, listen, if I've pressured you…," he begins, miserably.

"Christian, no," I walk closer to him, desperate to put his mind at ease. "You have been caring and understanding and nothing but patient with me and that is why I want to give myself to you tonight."

"I love you so much," he says taking me in his arms and kissing me. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I breathe out. "I want you to show me what it's meant to be like. I don't want to wait anymore. Make love to me Christian."

He stands still, unsure if he can believe what he knows he just heard me say and unable to trust that I am actually ready, so I take the initiative.

He watches my hands as I unbutton his shirt with unsteady fingers. I slide it down his arms letting it to fall to the floor.

I bring one of my hands up stopping just shy of touching his chest. I look up at him, silently asking for permission to touch the round scars that sporadically cover his otherwise flawless skin.

He nods his head.

I lightly touch one puckered circle with the balls of my fingertips.

His breath quickens when I lean in and brush my lips against each scar giving them tender kisses.

He kisses the top of my head before he cups my face and brings my lips up to meet his.

"I want you so much," he confesses.

His eyes burning with so much desire for me I feel I may melt away under the heat of them.

"Have me," I tell him. "Make me yours, Christian."

"Mmmmmm," we both moan as our lips connect again with such urgency I lose my breath.

He sweeps my hair from off of my shoulder to pepper it with kisses as he reaches behind me to find the zipper of my black bodysuit.

Slowly he slides it down my back.

I shiver at the feel of his hands as they find their way inside my clothes to caress my bare skin.

He pulls the suit off of my shoulders exposing my bare bra-less chest. He quickly bends in front of me and I use his shoulder for balance as I lift one leg and then the other while he stips the suit completely off along with my gold stilettos.

I stand with nothing but my panties on in front of him, unashamed, as his eyes roam over me.

I giggle as his eyebrow twitches when he finally makes it back up to my face to see my bottom lip captured purposely in my mouth.

"Miss. Steele," he says to me. "I do believe you are teasing me."

"You would be on the mark with that belief, Mr. Grey," I tell him.

The palm of his hand is now on the back of my head as he pulls me willingly into a kiss.

"You are so beautiful," he whispers breathless to me as he takes my hand and leads me over to his side of the bed.

He clears it of its candles and pulls back the comforter. My nerves overtake me and he senses my apprehension. In response, he sits down and pulls me into his lap to cradle me. I tuck my head in the bend of his neck to inhale his scent.

This is quickly becoming my favorite way of receiving comfort from him.

"Do you trust me, Ana," he asks me.

"Yes," I tell him quickly. "You make me feel so safe, Christian. But I'm nervous."

"Don't be," he tells me as he gently runs his hand up and down my outer thigh, tracing the curve of my behind. "I just want to make you feel good, Baby. Just tell me if you don't like something and I'll stop, okay?"

"Okay," I whisper.

...

 **Christian's POV**

I lay her down on the bed, but I am still hesitant. I don't know how far I should go or what I can do that won't potentially freak her out and land us right back at square one.

My mind and body is playing a bizarre game of tug of war between needing to devour her for a physical release and making sure I am not mentally thrusting her back into the hell she has worked so hard to climb her way out of.

I decide to just take things nice and slow. My physical needs be damned right now as I make this happen for her.

Her moaning as my lips meet hers spurs me on and puts me at ease.

"What," she whispers as I laugh.

"I'm supposed to me making this okay for you," I confess to her.

"You do," she tells me. "You have."

It's my turn to moan as she grabs the back of my head and pulls me down to kiss her again.

I leave her mouth and move to her neck, sucking the skin and leaving wet kisses as I travel down to her chest.

I move my right hand up her body to knead her left breast as I lightly circle her nipple with the pad of my thumb.

I take her other nipple into my mouth.

Her body shivers and she sucks in a sharp breath at the contact. I instantly stop, mistaking her reaction for distress.

Her eyes find mine and they are wide with question as to why the hell I just stopped.

I smirk at her as I recapture her nipple in my mouth again.

Her body arches as I suckle her. Her nipple becomes rock hard and I move on, doing the same to its twin.

I reluctantly leave her breasts and move down her body. I kiss every inch of her. I leave no part of her untouched by my lips as I try to erase every harsh uncaring touch she has ever felt and replace them with my gentle loving ones.

I love every minute of how responsive she is as she squirms underneath me in unmistakable pleasure.

I reach her panties. I hook my fingers in them and look up at her for permission.

She quickly nods and I slide them down. I stop when I see that she is bare.

 _Fuck Me She Shaved!_

Gone is the cute as fuck little brown fuzzy hair that once covered her.

She lifts her head to look down at me. I raise an eyebrow at her in amusement and she covers her face to hide her embarrassment.

I remove her panties and toss them on the floor. I kiss my way back up to her and remove her hands from her face.

"I love that you did that for me," I assure her and she smiles up at me.

"Ana, I want to taste you," I whisper to her and she frowns in confusion.

"I want to make you cum in my mouth," I tell her. She opens her mouth to inhale in surprise and I take the moment to kiss her.

I settle myself between her legs.

I want to take time and pleasure her to orgasm because I don't know how long I am going to last once I am finally inside of her.

Slowly, I kiss her inner thighs getting her use to me being close to where I have been craving to be since I saw her bare legs swinging off of her work desk.

Her thigh muscles contract closing her legs a bit in response to my mouth. I use my arms to pull them apart.

Her breathing accelerates when I kiss the top of her pretty pink clit as it peeks out at me from its hiding place. I lick away the dew that is the start of her arousal.

"Mmmmm," I moan in satisfaction at the first taste of her. "You taste so damn good, Baby."

Good really doesn't even begin to describe how divine she tastes.

I take my hand and spread her open exposing the bud that is now hard and begging for attention.

Unable to resist a second longer I take her clit into my mouth and gently suckle it.

Her moans start to arouse me as I go to work on her clit sucking, flicking, and licking it making her beyond wet to now soaking.

Lost in her own arousal she opens her legs wide to allow me better access to her. Her head is thrust back and her hands or fisting the sheets.

"Ohhh My God," she moans, no longer able to control herself as I push her higher and higher up to her summit only for the chance to shove her over its edge.

"oh...oh...god….I...," is all she is able to get out before she tumbles into ecstasy.

She bucks and squirms underneath me as wave after wave of her orgasm overtakes her.

I grab hold of her hips to steady her as I work her through her orgasm making sure every drop of her salty sweet cum gets into my mouth.

I moan as it overwhelms my taste buds and nearly makes me cum.

I have entered heaven and am now indulging in the finest of its rare wines.

I drink from her eagerly, knowing I will never get my fill.

Her movements finally stop.

She tries to move but I hold fast while I lick the rest of her cum off of her now beautifully glistening pussy.

"Wow," is all she breaths out after she comes back to earth and I can't help but feel pleased as I get off of the bed and look down at her.

She lays naked, her body, weak from orgasm, is illuminated by the soft glow of the candle light. Her skin flushed pink from a fresh mind altering release.

 _She is so beautiful._

She watches me with her bottom lip captured in her mouth. Her eyes are trained on my dick as I put on a show for her. I unbutton my pants and slide them past my ass before I slowly take them off and toss them back somewhere in the room.

"Baby," I say to her as I make my way back up to where she is. Her eyes are now closed as she is drifting to sleep.

She looks up at me, now wide eyed and wide awake, when she feels the tip of my dick.

It has found the opening of her pussy all on its own like it is a homing device set to find its sweet spot.

"I just want you so much, Ana," I tell her by way of an explaination. "I don't want to hurt you, but…"

"I know," she tells me. "And I want you too."

I grab hold of the base of my dick and slide him through the rest of her cum to get him wet. I watch her as I glide the tip in, looking for any signs of freak out. I stop when she becomes too tight and I know I am close to her hymen.

"Don't stop," she whispers to me. "Christian, I want you."

"Ah," she moans out loudly as push past, breaking it, as I fully enter her.

"Fuck," I hiss at the same time.

 _God she feels so good! Too good! No way am I going to last!_

I still myself inside of her, giving us both time to calm down.

"Okay, Baby," I ask her and she quickly nods yes.

My voice is strained and foreign to me now.

I rise up on the palm of my hands to give her space to breath. The last thing I want is for her to feel suffocated by my weight.

She pulls me back down close to her, not liking the space that was between us.

I adjust so that I am now on my elbows.

I start to slowly move inside of her.

 _God she is so fucking tight. So warm. So wet._

"Baby, you feel so good," I moan out in pleasure as I rest my forehead on top of hers.

A whimper is her only response as I begin to move faster.

"Yes, Baby, just like that," I tell her as she begins to move her hips underneath me, getting lost in her own pleasure.

Our eyes lock and she tries to turn away.

"Don't," I ask of her. "Look at me, Baby. Stay with me. Let me love you. God, I love you, Ana."

"I love you," she breaths out. "I love you so much, Christian."

My lips find hers once more as I begin to move faster.

She matches my every stroke, encouraging me and letting me know she likes what I'm doing to her.

I open my legs to go deeper as I raise hers higher.

"Fuck yes," I breathe out as she rest her feet on my ass.

"Mmmmmm," she moans out at the deeper feeling as she squirms and trembles underneath me.

"Yes, Baby," I tell her.

We intertwine our fingers to keep every part of us connected as we climb higher and higher.

"Ohhhh," she whimpers as she is close.

"Oh God, Baby," I moan out as I feel her pussy start to contract around me. "Yes."

"Christian," she calls for me.

"I'm right here, Baby," I assure her. "Let it go. Let me have it."

Her mouth falls open blissfully as she cums.

"Aw fuck, baby," I cry out as her tight pussy spasms strong around my dick.

"Ana," I moan her name over and over again as my orgasm takes over me and I cum long and hard.

"Aw FUCK," I cry out again as the longest damn orgasm of my life is nowhere near ending.

Pleasure rips through my veins, arteries, and nerves alike. It courses through me like electricity, making my scalp tingle and my toes curl up.

I shake and shudder, unable and unwilling to stop the sensation that I have been needing and wanting for so long.

I continue to pump inside of Ana as she comes apart underneath me.

"No more," she finally pants out. "I can't...I can't move anymore."

With the little energy I have left, I roll myself off of her and collapse beside her on the bed.

My balls, which were once full and heavy, are now light as air having emptied out everything they've been holding for so long.

My dick is still sputtering out the last bit of their cum.

He grows hard again, nowhere near being done with her and I mentally chastise his inconsiderate impatience.

I look over to see Ana still breathing hard as she tries to calm herself.

I reach for her and pull her into my arms to hold her.

As I begin to recover from the best damn orgasm I've had in my life, apprehension once again sets in.

I absentmindedly rub Ana's bare back as I wonder if she enjoyed herself and our lovemaking as much as I did. I am just about to check on her when she speaks up first.

"I know what you're thinking," she tells me as she makes circles on my chest with her index finger.

I chuckle and kiss her forehead as she looks up at me.

"It was amazing," she tells me, grinning wide. "You are amazing! I never thought it would be this way, not in my wildest dreams, but it was perfect. You made it perfect. Thank You."

"For what, Baby," I ask her.

"For making it safe for me," she says. "For loving me. For making love to me. For letting me have this incredible New Years day that I wish would never end."

"I promise to give you at least three hundred and sixty four more," I tell her and she laughs.

"Well, no pressure from me," she tells me.

"Oh you have a dirty mind, Miss. Steele," I tell her, catching on a bit too late.

"And it's all your fault," she tells me.

 _Thank Fuck For That!_

She tries to keep her eyes open, but I know it is a losing battle.

"Sleep, Baby," I tell her, not wanting her to fight it any longer. "I love you."

She smiles as she wraps her arm around my chest.

She sighs contently and the sweet sound makes my heart warm and calms my uncertainty.

I pull her closer and as she nestles herself more snuggly into me, I feel her body relax as she succumbs to exhaustion.

I am only a step behind her as I fall into the deepest most peaceful of orgasm induced sleeps I've ever experienced.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you all so much for following, favoriting, reading, and reviewing. It is all very much appreciated.**


	35. Basking In The Afterglow

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirty-Five**

 **Basking In The Afterglow**

 **Friday, January 1, 2016**

 **The Morning After**

 **Ana's POV**

I am trying hard to resist it, but the new day is beckoning me awake.

I open my eyes to a slit, but the brightness of the room quickly shuts them. The realization of what happened last night hits me and they spring open to look right into the gray eyes of my GEA.

"Morning, Baby," he greets me the same way he has every morning since I came back from L.A.

He is turned on his side facing me, resting his head on his bent elbow. His casual demeanor makes me wonder if last night was just a dream.

"How long have you been awake," I ask him.

"Not long," he tells me. "I didn't want to wake you. I just love watching you sleep."

"I know the feeling," I tell him, thinking about the times I've watched him over the last few days. "Christian, last night did we really..."

"Make the most amazing love of my life," he finishes. "Yes."

He grins at me so wide, I can't help but blush.

"I was afraid it was just a dream," I tell him.

"It was," he says to me. "I've dreamt about it since the first day I saw you in class and you have made all my dreams come true."

"Sssssss," I hiss when I move to try and kiss him.

My sore womanhood lets me know that last night was very real.

"A hot bath will help you feel better," he tells me, giving me a quick kiss before he gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom to run the water for us.

The wetness I feel between my legs is very uncomfortable. I am lying in a damp spot and I feel like I've wet the bed, yet I still have an incredible urge to pee.

I throw the covers aside and look down to find a spot of bright red blood mixed with what I am sure is my and Christian's orgasms.

He comes back into the room and I quickly grab for the comforter to cover the spot.

"What's wrong," he says concerned at my sudden need to cover up.

"Nothing," I say, trying to play it off and act normally, but I know I am failing if his facial expression is any judge. He stares at me waiting to hear the true answer.

"There is a spot on the sheets," I say, covering my face with my hands.

"A nice sized one too," he says and I look over at him when I hear the pride in his voice. "We did good."

"What," I say in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

I don't know how much his sheets cost, but they sure feel too expensive to just ruin with body fluids.

"Damn right, I'm serious," he tells me. "And when you are feeling up for it, we'll try for a bigger one, minus the blood of course."

"Oh, yeah, of course," I laugh.

"Come," he holds out his hand to me and helps me out of bed. "The water is just right."

"I need to pee first," I tell him as I race naked past him.

He laughs when I tuck my ass in and jump away when he makes a move to smack it.

I am instantly calmed by the smell of chamomile that is floating around the bathroom and I breathe in sweet relief as I empty my very full bladder.

"All done," he asks me as he hangs the bathrobes on the hooks by the door.

He helps me into the bath tub and the warm water feels good to my skin. I lie back on his chest and relax as it does its job in taking away my soreness as it soothes me.

I don't realize until my head starts to bob from Christian's semi suppressed chuckle that I'd dozed off.

"You are a natural sleeping pill," I tell him and he kisses my temple.

"I'm glad," he tells me. "What do you want to do on this first official day of the new year?"

I giggle at my thoughts of making more wet spots on his bed.

"Oh Miss. Steele," he says to me, reading my mind. "I have created a monster."

"Yes you have," I agree with him.

"A very beautiful monster," he tells me.

"I'm happy you think so because this monster is yours," I tell him.

"All mine," he asks me.

"Yes," I assure him, "all yours. No one else is in my head."

"Good," I hear him let out a breath and I sit up to look at him

"Were you worried about that," I ask him and realize what a dumb question it is after it came out of mouth. Of course he's worried about that.

He simply nods his head

"Christian, I didn't think of him at all," I assure him. "It was only you I saw and only your love I felt."

"I love you," he says to me.

"I love you too," I tell him. "I just wish I was better at showing you."

"Baby," he says flabbergasted. "You were amazing. Nothing or no one has ever made me feel the way you do. Never have I experienced anything like what we shared last night. Never have I been so utterly connected to someone the way I was to you last night."

I beam under the compliment, thankful that he can put into words exactly what I am feeling.

Feeling reassured, we carry on with our bath.

I revel in the feel of his fingers massaging my scalp as he washes my hair.

I sigh contented.

"That is becoming my second favorite sound," he tells me.

"Really," I say to him curious. "What is your first favorite sound?"

"Your giggle," he tells me

"Wow," I say to him surprised that's the sound he likes. "I sound like Wilma Flintstone when I giggle."

"More like the Pillsbury Dough Boy," he corrects me and I laugh. "That's why I love it. Not only is it adorable, but it makes me feel all warm inside."

"Well just don't go around poking me in the stomach," I tell him.

"Damn," he says, pretending to be disappointed. "Well as long as I can poke you a little farther down, I'll be okay with that."

"Now that was just plain bad," I say to him in response to his cheesy comeback and he laughs.

…

"You feel better, Baby," he asks as he dries me off and wraps the towel around me.

"Much better, thank you," I tell him getting up on my tip toes to kiss him.

What was meant to be a quick kiss quickly turns deeper.

"How sore are you," he asks me, breaking for air.

"Not too bad," I tell him quickly, surprised by my need for him.

He lifts me up, dropping the towel at our feet. I warp my legs around him as he carries me to the bedroom.

"What the…" I say when I see the room. I disengage myself from him and he lets me down.

The room has been completely cleared of all the candles and the flowers and the sheets have been changed.

"Oh no, Christian, you did not ask her to do this," I tell him embarrassed.

"Of course I did," he shrugs like it's an eveyday thing. "Its part of the job of housekeeper you know."

"But Christian, the sheets, she saw them," I begin to freak out. "What is she going to do with them? Please tell me she is not going to try and clean them?"

"Baby," he calls for me trying to hide his amusement. "Calm down."

"What she must think," I say.

"Who cares what she thinks," he says to me and shakes his head for me not to start up again.

"How am I ever going to look at her again," I tell him. "Or…..oh no, is she going to tell the rest of them?"

"Baby, stop," he tells me. "Gail is very professional and discreet. She wouldn't tell anyone, well maybe Taylor, but I don't see that conversation coming up in great detail."

"Why Taylor," I ask him, mortified of the thought.

"They are together," he tells me. "As for the rest of the staff, Baby we are in a relationship. Making love is what everyone does, so they probably already assume we've been doing it. It's not something to be embarrassed about and I will not have you feeling ashamed."

"You're right," I tell him, thinking better about it. "I'm being ridiculous."

"Damn right, I'm right," he tells me.

"Well enjoy it while it lasts," I tell him.

"Oh I plan to enjoy a little bit of something else," he says to me as he ushers me to the freshly made bed and I sit down.

"Are we really going to mess up the bed," I ask Christian and he laughs.

"The things you worry about," he tells me, bending down to kiss me. "Yes, we are going to mess up this bed and any other surface I can have you on."

"Mmmmm," I moan out as he moves to my neck. I tilt my head to give him better access.

My whole body comes alive as it quivers in anticipation of his touch.

I crawl backwards on the bed until I am near the head. Christian moves with me until he's on top of me, his mouth never leaving my skin.

"Christian," I moan out his name.

"Tell me what you want, Baby," he asks of me.

"I want you," I answer him quickly.

"I've dreamt of you saying that to me," he confesses as he nips and sucks my neck. "Never did I dream it would feel this good to hear it."

He moves down to my breast and my body automatically arches up to meet his mouth.

"Do you like this, Baby," he asks me as he suckles my nipple.

"Yes," I pant out, unable to control my breathing as the sensation travels from my nipple to between my legs and down to my toes.

Every inch of me is attuned to him and every part of me is his for the taking.

"Are you ready for me, Ba….," he begins to ask me as he moves to my other nipple.

"Yes," I answer eagerly before he could finish the question.

I feel his smile as he suckles me.

He moves his hand down the length of me. I inhale sharply when I feel him cup me.

"Mmmm," he moans as he slips his middle finger inside of me. "You are so ready. Baby you are so fucking wet."

I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing and right now I really couldn't be bothered to care as long as he doesn't move that hand.

I groan in protest at the loss of sensation when he takes his hand away, but it quickly returns when he enters me.

The feeling of him inside me is even better than the first time.

He fills me up so completely.

It is an intoxicating mix of pain and pleasure, of strange and familiar, of wanting to cum but never wanting him to let me go. I open my legs wide and tilt my hips up in an effort to get closer. I wrap my arms and legs around him like a praying mantis about to devour her mate.

My need for him is overwhelming, carnal, and striped down to its basic form. I dare not fight it and I refuse to waste a second analyzing it as I let it take me over.

"Ana, Baby, so good," Christian pants out. "You feel so good, Baby."

"Ah," I yell out as he goes deep.

He stills and looks down at me in concern.

I shake my head vigorously at him.

"No, don't stop," I breathe out to him as I lift my hips up to meet him.

He begins again, moving slower and pushing in deeper than before.

I feel myself start to build the way I did last night.

"Oh God," I moan out, recognizing the feeling and knowing what is about to happen next.

"Just let it happen, Baby," I hear Christian's voice from far away.

"Don't leave me," I hear myself say.

"I'm right here, Baby," I feel his warm breath on my ear and the softness of his cheek against mine.

"Oh God, Christian," I moan as I tumble into my orgasm.

"Aw fuck, Baby you are killing me," I hear Christian moan as he shakes on top of me.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." he pants with each thrust of his hips until he finally stills himself.

He rolls off of me and stares up at the ceiling trying to catch his breath.

"Jesus, Ana," he pants out. "What are you doing to me?"

"I am paying you back for being the perfect boyfriend," I tell him, once I've caught my breath. "I mean, I am doing a good thing, right?"

"Good," he repeats. "Amazing, awesome, poetry inspiring…"

I giggle.

"Okay," I tell him as we lay basking in the afterglow.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

I resist the urge to take her again as we shower.

I put on pants and a T shirt and head out to the kitchen, leaving Ana to dress in peace.

I've asked Gail to make us brunch since we've missed breakfast.

"How do ham, cheese and egg stuffed baguettes with a winter fruit salad sound," she asks me.

"My mouth is watering already," I tell her. "I'll be checking on Wilfred if you see Ana before I'm done."

"Of course," she tells me. "I'll let her know."

"Thanks for helping her with decorating last night," I tell her.

"I was happy to help," she smiles warmly at me.

I take out my phone and call the twins as I head upstairs.

"Hey, Dad," Teddy answers the phone.

"How's it going, Son," I ask him.

"Pretty good," he tells me. "Marcy is trying to teach Mom and Pheebs how to make spinach potato pancakes."

"Spinach and potato huh," I say to him, trying to choke that taste down.

"Yeah," he says. "It sounds like yuck, but he makes them pretty good. Mom is on some health thing she promised for the New Year. She says we can only eat organic food. I really hope it doesn't last too long."

I laugh when I hear the distain for it in his voice.

"Don't worry Son, those types of resolutions never last for more than a month or two tops," I tell him. "But it's always good to try new things."

"I guess," he says and I can picture the shrug.

"Give Pheebs a hug and kiss for me," I tell him.

"No," he says flat out and I laugh, remembering who I am talking to.

"Okay," I say to him. "Just tell her I called and I will see you two tomorrow."

"Okay," he tells me, more agreeable.

"Love you, Son," I tell him.

"Love you, Dad," he tells me.

"Alright you little stinker," I tell Wilfred as I left him up and place him on my shoulders. "Let's get you all cleaned up."

….

I come back down to find Ana in the kitchen sitting at the breakfast bar talking to Gail. They stop when they see me approach.

"Hey, Baby," I tell her when I sit down.

"How is Wilfred," she asks me.

"He is happy right now," I tell her. "And he is not the only one."

She smiles.

"Thank you, Gail," Ana says as she sits our plates in front of us.

"Anytime, Ana," she says to her. "Mr. Grey."

I nod, dismissing her.

"So what were you two talking about when I came in," I ask her.

"Picture frames," she tells me.

"How very engaging," I tell her and she laughs

"Well it was," she tells me, honestly. "I have this great shot of my Dad performing on Christmas Eve and I want to frame it. I told her I like the frames in the great room and she told me where I could get a great discount…aw man."

"What," I say when she looks and me and stops talking.

"Promise you won't buy me picture frames," she begs and I smirk at her.

"Fine," I tell her. "Now eat your food."

"Oh my God," she moans as she takes a bite and it goes right to my dick. "This is amazing."

I take a bite of the baguette and I have to agree with her.

...

"When are you going to let me hear you play," she asks me as we are finishing up our meal.

I've been asking her questions about her Dad's band and I guess it has peaked her curiosity.

"No time like the present," I tell her.

"Really," she says excited and I get up and take her hand.

I sit down at the piano and tinker with the keys to warm up.

"What do you want to hear," I ask her and she smiles.

"Surprise me," she tells me and I start to play one of my Dad's favorite songs by Joe Cocker. I would hear him sing it to my mom when I was younger and it's very telling of how I feel about Ana.

Funny, I always thought it was corny as hell, but now it makes perfect sense to me.

She grins wide when she recognizes it. I look at her as she leans on the closed piano lid and watch my fingers move along pressing and manipulating the piano keys to get just the right sound.

She looks up at me with a gleam in her eye and I would play until my fingers where just bone to keep her looking at me like that.

"I had no idea you could play like that," she tells me, genuinely impressed.

"I'm a bit out of practice," I confess. "I haven't played in a long while."

"Why," she asks me. "I thought it was therapeutic for you."

"It was, until it wasn't," I tell her. "I use to play to keep Andy quiet. I haven't felt much like playing since he's not here anymore, except for when the twins want to bang around on it."

"I'm sorry," she says, feeling guilty that she asked me to play.

"Don't be," I tell her. "I liked playing for you."

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Stay tonight," he tells me.

He's perched in a chair in only the underwear he just threw on right after we made love. His eyes follow me around the bedroom as I gather my things.

"We would be cutting it too close," I tell him. "The last thing I want is for us to oversleep like we always do and have the twins as our wake up call."

I pass close by him. He grabs me and pulls me into his lap to hold me.

"Mmmmm," I say when he kisses me. "You're not making this easy for me."

"To leave me," he says, sadly. "Never. Now that I have you, I don't want to let you go."

"Not letting go, just going home," I tell him, as I run my fingers through his damp hair to move it from his face. "I am yours no matter where I am. Mind, body, and soul, remember that."

"I hate the thought of being without you tonight, Baby," he tells me.

"Me too," I tell him.

"I want you rested up for the weekend," he says to me and I giggle.

"No rest for the wicked," I joke with him.

"Not when I'm around," he tells me.

…..

"She's here," I hear Ricky say to Jose when he opens the door to let me in.

They both were laying in wait when I came home about an hour ago. They only left me alone after I promised I would come over when I was done unpacking.

"Get in here," Jose says. "We have urgent matters to discuss."

Ricky takes my hand and pulls me inside.

"Well," Jose says looking at me, with anticipation.

"Oh no way, where is your hospitality," I tell them, milking it. "You are going to have to feed me a snack first."

He rolls his eyes, but scurries off to find me something, leaving Ricky and I laughing in the living room.

He comes back with wine, cheese, and crackers.

He waits impatiently, tapping his leg with the palm of his hands as I take my first bite and sip my wine.

"WELL," he says, again.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **You all have some great questions and I want to take a minute to answer some here since others might be wondering the same things. Forgive me for paraphrasing and not using your names, but you know who you are.**

 ***Did Ana use protection?= Yes, she is on birth control already and Christian was tested when he found out Jess cheated.**

 ***Do/did the kids and Jess get to touch Christian?= Yes, he overcame his fear of touching long before he met Ana. The reason he did not want Ana to touch his chest before was due to him wanting her and not fear of touch.**

 ***Did Ana lose her Hymen to the beer bottle?= No, the beer bottle did not enter her fully so it did not break the hymen.**

 ***Is Ana comfortable at Escala since Jess used to live there? =Yes. Although they haven't discussed it, she loves Escala as much as he does.**

 **Thanks for all of the questions, reading, and reviewing.**

* * *

 **Trivia question for my Joe Cocker fans: What song do you think Christian played for Ana?**

 **And no fair answering if you already saw it on pinterest lol.**


	36. The Big Bang Theory

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirty- Six**

 **The Big Bang Theory**

 **Ana's POV**

Jose waits impatiently, tapping his leg with the palm of his hands as I take my first bite and sip my wine.

"WELL," he says, again.

"It was everything I thought it would be," I tell him, pretending to be more interested in my wine than our conversation.

"The room," he asks, eager for details.

"Romantic," I tell him, giving him a one word only answer.

"The Man," he asks, just as eager.

"The Man, was wonderful," I tell him with an uninterested sigh.

"The night…."He says, getting frustrated with me.

"The night was…..It was... uhhh-mayyy-zingggg," I tell him, not being able to hold it in any longer.

"OhmyGod!OhmyGod!OhmyGod!," Jose says, right there with me as we bounce up and down in his dining room.

"Will you two please come and sit the hell down before they kick us all out of here," Derrick says to us.

"Okay, okay," I sit down, gathering myself as I start to tell the actual details. "At first I was nervous. I mean really, really nervous, but he held me in his arms and told me if I wanted him to stop to just tell him and he would."

"Awww," Jose and Derrick say.

"He is so the gentlemen," Jose says.

"Yes he is," Derrick agrees.

"The Man," I start again, looking dreamy like Jose does when he talks about Christian. Derrick nearly passes out with laughter, "made me feel like nothing else in the world was more important to him than me."

"Now I know that's right, Honey," Jose says, missing the joke.

"Girlfriend," he says to me, turning serious. "I know it wasn't fireworks for you. But give it a few more times and it will happen, okay. I think in a few months, when things start to loosen up down there in your areas…"

He flutters his hand in the direction of my pelvis.

"Josie Rodriguez," Derrick scolds him, embarrassed by his candor.

"What," he says to him. "I don't want her to get discouraged when the big bang doesn't happen right away."

Derrick tries to tell him to hush but he shoos him away and turns back to me.

"It's all perfectly normal not to orgasm," he explains to me. "I've heard some women say they've never had one, but I didn't tell them that I think their men are not doing it right."

"Oh for the love of God," Derrick says shaking his head. "Josie!"

"What!….That is not to say that GEA didn't do it right….." he says to him quickly.

"Oh he did it right," I tell them. "In fact, he did it just right."

They stop bickering and look at me in question.

I nod with a huge kool-aid man grin on my face.

"He. Did. IT. Soooo. Right," I tell them.

"Anastasia Rose Steele," Derrick says, looking at me up and down to see if I look any different to him. "Are you sitting here at this table telling us that you had a orgasm your very first time?"

"Oh no," I tell them, shaking my head.

"See…" Jose says to Derrick, gloating that he's right.

"No, no, no, no, I did not have A orgasms," I correct him. "I am telling you I had TWO orgasms."

"Get the fuck out! You're kidding," Derrick says, shocked.

I shake my head no

"TWO Big Bangs, Baby," I hold up the peace sign in Jose's face bringing home my point.

Derrick is now laughing in hysterics in a ball on the floor.

"OH MY FUCKING GAWD," Jose says.

"EXACTLY," I say to him.

He watches with his mouth wide open as I get up, pretend to spike an imaginary football, and then start strutting around like a just scored the winning touchdown.

All while Derrick is gasping for air as he tries to stop laughing at me blowing Jose's no orgasm on the first try and his big bang theory to hell.

He just looks at Derrick as he flails around on the floor.

"I can't breathe," Derrick says, gasping for air.

"Oh shut up, Ricky," Jose tells him, trying to act put out for being proven wrong, but can't help laughing himself. "Get your ass up off the floor!"

"Oh you so deserved that, Baby," Derrick tells him as he and I sit back down at the table.

"I was just trying to help," Jose tells him.

"Yes you were," I tell him. "And you were a big help. I love you for it."

"Aww, go on," he waves me away, flattered.

"I mean it," I tell him. "I don't think I would have gone through with it without you encouraging me."

"Well anything for you, Sistergirl," he tells me.

"Two," he says proud of me and sips his wine.

"Well, that was just the first time we did it," I tell him and Derrick pats his back as he chokes on his liquid.

…

 **Christian's POV**

"Well look who's resurfaced," Elliot says as I join him and the rest of the family at the dinner table.

"Leave him alone," Mia says to him. "He's never going to come around with you and your teasing."

"I haven't bugged him since last year," Elliot says, joking.

"Elliot, will you please let that tired joke rest already," Dad tells him. "I swear every New Year, we are subjected to it."

"Man, you all have no loyalty to me and I'm the oldest," he tells them feigning hurt.

"Yes you are and we expect more from you," Mom says to him.

"If my Katie was here, she wouldn't let you all get away with ganging up on me like this," he gripes.

"Where is Katie," I ask him, getting comfortable in my chair.

"Kate," he corrects me, hating when I use his nickname for her, "is on assignment."

I stick out my tongue at him as, Gretchen, my parent's housekeeper, gives me my plate.

"Is there anything else you'd like for me to do for you tonight," Gretchen says to me in a voice that is clearly suggestive.

"No, I'm quite satisfied, Gretchen," I tell her, not even bothering to look at her. Elliot cuts eyes at me and my response to her.

I raise a telling eyebrow at him and he snickers as she walks away clearly pissed at my rebuff.

"I really should find better employees," my mother says, her eagle eye not missing a thing.

"Don't stress yourself," I tell her.

"You are looking well, my boy," Dad tells me. "The single life is finally agreeing with you."

"Uh, I don't think he's single Dad," Mia tells him. "Remember Ana?"

"Of course, how could have I have forgotten, Ana," he smiles, full of himself.

I give him a look to let him know I am on to his game.

No way in hell did he forget her and now since Mia has played into his hands and mentioned her, its open the door for discussion.

"How is Ana," he quickly moves on before I can say anything to stop him.

"She's great," I tell him, deciding to play along and get it over with.

"We can't wait to meet her," Mom says chiming in. "When will that be again, Dear?"

"Gee whiz," Elliot says to them. "I thought I told you two to play it cool."

"Well you won't give us a date," my mom tells him.

"Give them a chance to breathe," Elliot tells them.

"We just want to have a nice family dinner," Mom says. "Mom and Dad can't wait to meet her…"

Everyone groans at the idea and my dad laughs.

"I was talking about your parents, Cary," Mom tells him and he shuts up.

"I haven't even talked to her about it yet," I tell them. "So I don't know if or when she'll be up for the family inquisition."

"Well it shouldn't be too bad," Mia says. "She already knows most of us pretty well."

"We'll see," I tell them.

…..

We sit around the dinner table until Dad places his napkin on his plate letting us know that dinner is officially over.

"Come on boys," Dad tells Elliot and me. "Let's leave the women to their work."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Mia says as we get up to leave her and mom to oversee the dining room cleaning.

"Mom did you realize you were marrying a male chauvinist," I hear her say loud enough so we could hear her.

"Not until he threw me over his shoulder and carried me back to his cave, Sweetheart," Mom tells her. "By then, it was too late."

...

"I'm surprised you're not with Ana right now," Dad says as we sit in his study having Brandy.

"She is sick of his ass already," Elliot taunts and I ignore him.

"The twins are coming home tomorrow," I tell them. "She didn't want to surprise them by being there."

"Thoughtful girl," Dad says and I nod in agreement. "She must really care for them. She seems to know it's important not to have people coming in and out of their lives in those types of ways."

"She is sensitive to that," I tell him, without revealing too much of Ana's personal business. "We've agreed to handle the twins with kid gloves, but rest assured, she won't be going anywhere, Dad."

"No not at all," he tells me, sensing my defensiveness. "And I am impressed by her already. Most women would want to ingratiate themselves everywhere they could in your life, considering what's at stake."

"Oh Boy," Elliot says sliding farther down in his seat, not liking where this is headed.

"What's at stake," I ask Dad.

"You are a very wealthy young man. Why do you always gloss over that fact," he tells me. "Most women…"

"Ana is not most women," I tell him.

"That is exactly my point," he tells me. "I am pleased that you have managed to find yet another girl who is interested in you for all the right reasons."

"Phew," Elliot says scooting back up in his chair.

"I won't even ask you to consider taking it slow" he tells me, knowing it would fall on deaf ears.

"Good," I tell him.

"Just don't get this one pregnant right out the gate, huh Son," he laughs. "For once I'd like to attend your wedding when it's not shot-gunned."

"Ohhhhh, Dad is cold," Elliot says to me in response to Dad's jab.

"Maybe your little brother should show you how it's done Elliot," Dad says shutting him up quick. "We are still waiting on you and Kate to give us a grandbaby."

"Shut up, Christian," Elliot says to me when I laugh.

…..

 **Ana' POV**

Jose, Derrick, and I spend the rest of the evening eating and polishing off another bottle of wine as we talk about Jose's upcoming art gallery showing he is so excited about.

He's missing some shots and I offered to go out with him tomorrow and help him take a few. On the way we'll pick out some frames for my dad's pictures.

I head over to my apartment so that we can get an early start in the morning.

I rush to my phone when I hear it ringing.

"Hey, Char," I say to her as I answer.

"You LUCKY bitch," she tells me.

"Wow," I tell her. "Did Jose just call to tell you?"

"You know telling Jose is like telling me," she reminds me. "And I have yet another reason to hate your guts. Just be glad that you are nice and you're my friend or else I would be out to destroy you."

"I am very happy to be your friend," I tell her. "Speaking of friends, how is Brandon?"

"He is a mess," she tells me.

"Maybe I should talk to him again," I tell her, feeling awful for him.

"Give it some time and let it sink into his head that you are now off the market," she tells me.

"I can't believe I had no idea," I say to her.

"He is a pro at hiding his feelings," she says to me. "He didn't want to scare you off. Now he is really kicking himself for not telling you sooner."

"Char, I just don't see him in that way," I tell her.

"Oh yeah, trust me, he knows that now," she laughs. "I think it's the real reason he never told you. He was hoping that would change."

I hear someone calling her in the background.

"Is that the New Years Eve guy," I ask her.

"Angus," she tells me.

"Angus," I say to her, "was THAT his name?"

"Yep," she laughs. "It's a family name, but he prefers Gus."

"I bet he does," I tell her.

"I am happy thing are going great for you and Christian," she tells me. "Goodnight my love."

"Nighty night, Darling," I say to her.

I sit my phone down on my bed and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I give my face a once over in the mirror after putting my toothbrush back in its holder.

I don't think I look any different.

 _But I sure feel different._

I watch as a smile spreads across my face and I roll my eyes at myself.

I race to my ringing cell phone again, thinking it might be Christian this time. Last I heard from him, he was going to his parent's house for dinner and that was a few hours ago.

"Hello," I answer, when I see that it is a private number calling me.

Whoever it is quickly hangs up.

I put my phone back down thinking it was a wrong number.

Before I can walk away, it rings and I see it is a private number again.

"Hello," I say twice more, but the person hangs up again.

I look at my phone and panic starts to set in. I have this intense and gripping fear that someone is trying to get in to hurt me.

I run to my front door, not sure if I locked every lock.

Sure enough, I hadn't. I mentally chastise myself for being so laxed as I frantically lock all of the locks.

I'm about to make sure the alarm is on when I hear a loud bang on the door.

I scream at the top of my lungs when images of someone kicking it down come into my head.

"Ana, are you okay," I hear a familiar voice, laced with its own fear.

"Christian," I say to him, making sure it's really him.

"It's me, Baby, open the door," he tells me.

I fumble clumsily with all the locks before I can get it open.

Finally, I fling the door open and crash my body into his waiting arms.

"What happened, Baby," he asks as he holds on tight to me. "I heard you scream."

"I'm okay," I tell him.

"You're shaking," he says, knowing better than to believe me.

Reluctantly, I let him go so we can move inside. I close and lock the door and set the alarm.

"Panic attack," I tell him.

"Why," he asks me, his face filled with worry.

"I guess, being here for the first time alone after so long," I tell him. "It's got me jumpy. I have to get use to it again. And then someone called on my phone…"

"Who was it," he says.

"I don't know, it was a wrong number," I tell him, trying to shake it off. "Is something wrong, why are you here?"

"I just missed you," he tells me. "I know you don't want to stay at Escala tonight, but you never said I couldn't stay over here."

"Really," I ask him smiling happily and incredibly relieved at the thought of him staying over and he nods.

"Come, let's get you to bed," he tells me.

"Will you hold me in your arms all night," I ask him.

"Nothing would please me more," he tells me.

…

Hours later, I wake to find Christian on his back with his arm around me and I grin at him as he lays unguarded in sleep.

Unable to resist touching him, I run my fingers along his jaw before tracing the outline of his lips.

I watch as his eyes slowly open to look into mine. My breath catches when they darken as confusion gives way to lust.

"Baby," he calls to me, his voice husky from sleep.

He growls at me when he sees me bite my lip.

I giggle when he moves himself on top of me, but it quickly turns into a moan when he touches me.

"You are so wet for me, baby," he breathes out as he enters me, "so ready."

"Oh yes," I moan out as my desire for him quickly overtakes me. "Yes. Yes. Yes."

In what seems like only a moment, he has me screaming out his name as I cum with him only a beat behind me.

"You are so good at that," I tell him as I lay spent from our lovemaking.

"You bring it out of me, Baby," he tells me.

"I think that's the other way around," I say to him.

"What do you mean," he asks me.

I turn on my side to face him. He stays on his back but turns his head to look at me.

"For so long I didn't think I would be a person that would like doing that type of stuff," I tell him. "I always figured it was just ruined for me."

"And now," he asks me.

"And now," I breathe out in disbelief as to how much I love making love to him. In just a day's time, it is now my favorite thing to do.

"I can't seem to get enough," I confess to him and me. "Maybe I should discuss this with Dr. Townsend tomorrow, what do you think?"

"Come here," Christian reaches for me and pulls me on top of him. "I love that you can't get enough, because it is going to take me a lifetime to get my fill of you."

"Well, in that case," I tell him, feeling bold as I attack his mouth with my own.

He runs his hands along my back as he lifts his head to deepen our kiss.

My fingers find their way into his hair, massaging his scalp, while his hands move down to grip my ass and pull me closer to him.

I gasp when the feel of his erection arouses me and makes me wet.

"Mmmmmm, Baby," he moans out and I know he feels how wet I just became. "There's the monster I created."

He laughs at my giggle.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 ***IamKaren, Islandgirl, Ralieghbug, Shansanchez, and VRB Mairposa are correct. The Joe Cocker song he played was You Are So Beautiful.**

 ***Some of you guessed Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong. That is also a great song.**

 **As always thank you for reading and reviewing, it is much appreciated.**


	37. Boyfriends Are Mean

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirty-Seven**

 **Boyfriends Are Mean**

 **Saturday, January 2, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

"Is this considered morning," I say to Christian as I step into the shower behind him. "The sun isn't even up yet."

I warp my arms around his shoulders and kiss him good morning anyway.

"You should still be sleeping," he tells me.

He moves us so that I'm now under the water and begins to lather me up.

I relish in the feel of the warm water cascading down me and his wet hands sliding all over my skin.

My eyes catch his as he seems to be taking special care in cleaning my feminine parts.

He smirks at me.

"I take care of what's mine," he tells me.

"Well," I start as I pour soap in my hand.

"Aw fuck, Baby," he moans out as I take him in my hands and stroke him. He is glorioulsy hard and that fact turns me on.

"I need to take care of what's mine," I tell him.

His right hand moves down to cover mine, showing me just how to stoke him, while his left hand tangles in the hair at the nape of my neck.

He slips his tongue in my mouth to taste me and I am silently thanking God I used mouthwash before I hopped in here with him.

Suddenly, he tears his lips away from mine making me groan in protest.

He takes me by the wrist and stills my hand.

"You keep that up and I am never going to leave here," he tells me.

"Sorry, I got carried away," I tell him, remembering the twins are coming home soon.

"Never apologize for that, Baby," he tells me as we continue to shower.

…..

"What is it," I ask him as he studies me while we dress.

"Your panic attack," he reminds me.

"I'm okay now," I assure him. "You've chased away all of the ghost."

"There's a space at Escala that just came on the market yesterday," he tells me. "I'm going to buy it and I want you to move into it."

"No," I tell him. "That wouldn't work for me. Besides when I'm not irrationally freaked out, I do love it here."

"Then I'll park Ryan outside," he tells me.

"Christian…"

"Ana…" he continues, not letting me talk him out of it. "You scared the shit out of me last night. What happens the next time you panic and I'm not here?"

"I've had panic attacks for a long time," I tell him. "They never last too long."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," he tells me.

"I don't want you to worry," I tell him.

"Then let me park Ryan outside," he asks me.

"Okay, fine," I relent. "But just for today."

"For the rest of the weekend," he bargains.

"Only at night," I negotiate.

"Deal," he says kissing me good bye. "Pleasure doing business with you, Miss. Steele."

"Oh the pleasure is all mine, Mr. Grey," I tell him.

"Mmmm," he says coming toward me.

"No, No," I squeal, dodging him. "You're going to be late."

"Let's go out Friday night," he tells me.

"Professor Grey, have you forgotten your students," I remind him.

"Damn," he says, letting me know he did forget. "I'll see you after class then."

"Okay," I tell him.

"Make sure you have breakfast this morning," he fusses over me.

"I will," I tell him. "As soon as my stomach wakes up."

….

"Are you ready," Jose says as I let him in. "I was trying to wait until your guy left."

"How did you know he was here," I ask him.

"We heard you scream," he tells me. "We were hauling ass over here when I heard Christian at your door."

"Was I that loud," I ask him and he nods.

"But we were in the living room so we could hear you breathing from in there anyways," he tells me. "You okay though, right?"

"Just a panic attack," I tell him.

"You haven't had one of those in a long time," he reminds me.

"I know," I admit. "It was just a stupid wrong number that got me worked up."

"You are not going to change your number are you," he asks me. "I am just now memorizing it."

"No," I laugh. "I'm not changing my number."

"Well that's good," he says. "Let's get something to eat I am starving."

"Where's Derrick," I ask him as we leave our building.

"He'll meet us later at the studio," he tells me. "It's too early for him."

…..

 **Christian's POV**

"Daddy," I hear Phoebe call for me and I come out of the kitchen to meet her and Teddy.

"Hey Babydoll, Hey Teddy bear," I greet them, excited.

The quietly dull penthouse suddenly comes alive when they come in and my world is set right again.

I high five Teddy and give Phoebe a big hug.

"We missed you, Daddy," Phoebe tells me.

"I missed you guys too," I tell them.

Jess comes in with Anderson behind her carrying the kid's things.

"Why don't you two go put your things away and get settled while I talk to Mom okay," I tell them.

"Okay," they say to me as they grab their rolling luggage and head to their rooms.

"I'll be in the security room, Sir," Anderson tells me and I nod.

"Thanks Marcy," Jess says to him.

"Jess," he simply says to her and leaves.

"You look well," I tell Jess as we head to my home office.

"You do too," she tells me, smiling. "You look happy."

"So, you're headed to New York," I say to her as we sit down.

"I just want to check out the penthouse," she tells me. "I'll be back to see the kids this weekend. By then the new house should be ready."

"You're going to have a time keeping your daughter out of that pool," I tell her.

"I know," she laughs. "She is counting down the days to warmer weather."

My Babydoll was never one for inside winter activities.

"Christian, now that the kids are older, I want to take them to New York with me some weekends when I go," Jess tells me.

"Jess," I begin.

"They both loved the Ballet so much and I've taken them to a few local art galleries," she says, pleading her case. "New York has so much more to offer them by way of the arts…."

"Jess," I begin again. "I know they will love New York."

"You're agreeing," she says astonished.

"Of course," I tell her. "That is one of the reasons we bought the penthouse there in the first place. You've always wanted to share and experience that with them and I think they are at the perfect age to start."

"Great," she says relaxing. "I had this whole big spiel planned to get you to agree."

"Well, I want you to take the Jet when they go with you," I tell her my conditions. "I don't want them flying commercial."

"Of course not," she agrees.

"And you'll take Anderson," I tell her.

"I expected as much," she says to me.

"Great," I tell her. "It's all settled."

"This co-parenting thing is easy," she tells me.

"It was never my intention to keep them from you, Jess," I reassure her again. "Our kids need and deserve their mother."

She nods.

"One more thing before I go," she tells me. "The twins are asking if I am going to have a boyfriend soon."

"What," I say, shocked. "Where did that come from?"

"Kids at school told them that Rob was my boyfriend and needless to say they are a bit worried about it," she tells me. "I explained Rob to them the best I could, if you can just reinforce things, I would appreciate it."

"Absolutely," I tell her. "Jess, I hope you are not still feeling guilty about that bastard."

"No," she tells me. "I am succeeding at putting it behind me. Dr. Townsend is very good at forcing me to see truths that I've kept hidden from myself. Now she has me going back and picking up the parts of me that I let fall by the wayside on the path that ended with me trying to take my own life."

She shakes her head in shame and disbelief at what she meant to do.

"Is that why you're going to New York," I ask her and she nods.

"Chasing some dreams," she tells me.

"Well that's good," I tell her, relieved to see she is doing so well. "Dr. Townsend is very good at what she does."

"The kids wanted to have breakfast with you," she says as we get up to leave the room. "Something about a morning meeting you all have."

I laugh as I explain it to her.

"Come and say goodbye to Mom," I call to the twins and leave them to say goodbye to Jess.

….

We spend our morning meeting eating pancakes and bacon while talking about all the things that went on over at Jess's place. Of course they are excited about the new house with the even bigger backyard and swimming pool.

Phoebe is ecstatic to learn that Andrea has found her a ballet class to attend and the building also has a place for Teddy to take up Karate and now he is excited.

"Dad," Teddy begins. "This is Career Month."

"Career Month," I repeat.

"Uh huh," Phoebe says. "We get to learn about what adults do so we can decide what we want to be when we grow up. Last year they had firemen and we got to sit in the fire truck."

"That sounds like fun," I tell them.

"It was okay," Teddy says, unimpressed. "I told my friends that GEH is way better."

"Me too," Phoebe says.

"Well I don't know if we are better than fire trucks but we are pretty good," I tell them.

"Can you come to Career Month and show the class," Teddy asks me.

"Please," Phoebe adds.

"We'll, I'll talk to the principle and see what I can do," I tell them.

"Thanks Dad," Teddy tells me and Phoebe smiles excited.

I can't wait to tell my friends is written all over her cute little face.

"So, what is this I hear about you two worrying that Mom is getting a boyfriend," I ask them.

"My friend Elijah said that his mom got a new boyfriend and he doesn't like him," Teddy says.

"Boyfriends are mean," Phoebe says and I know she is remembering that bastard that scared her. "Does Mommy **have** to have a boyfriend?"

"Well I was mom's boyfriend before we got married," I tell them, trying to explain that not all boyfriends are mean, but their little eyes go wide.

"Mommy's getting married," Phoebe asks, destroyed.

 _Wrong approach Grey._

"No Babydoll, I don't think so," I tell her, quickly. "Mommy would introduce you to….okay."

I stop to change tactics.

"Listen," I begin again. "When or if mom gets a boyfriend, she will make sure he is a nice man and that he is nice to her as well as the two of you."

"He won't be like that mean man that hurt her," Teddy asks me.

"No, Son," I assure him. "Mom won't let that ever happen again and neither will I."

"Okay," he says, simply taking my word for it and my heart swells. I pray that he always has faith in me.

"I know a lot has happened this past year," I tell them. "Mom and I are very proud of you two for the way you all are trying to give our new life a chance and not complain about things. But we know it's a lot to get use to. We want you two to promise that if you ever have questions or if you ever are not okay with things, you'll come to us and we'll talk just like this."

"We promise," they tell me.

"Good," I say to them.

"Maybe you can find Mom a boyfriend, Dad," Teddy suggests.

"Oh, I don't know about that, Son," I tell him.

"I want Marcy to be Mommy's boyfriend," Phoebe says. "I think he likes her like you like Ms. Steele."

With that said, she reaches over and swipes Teddy's last strip of Bacon.

"Hey," he says to her angrily and I instinctively give him mine.

I am so floored, I don't even think to scold Phoebe for her lack of table manners.

I try to think of a way to play this.

I could either talk around it or take this opportunity to see how they would feel about me and Ana.

 _Think Grey, Think!_

"Babydoll," I start. "I don't think Mom likes Marcy."

"I think he's just being nice, like Dad is with Ms. Steele," Teddy tells her.

"I guess," Phoebe says, discouraged. "I would like it though."

"Me too," Teddy agrees.

"Phoebe, why did you say that about me and Ana," I ask her, hopeful that Teddy will like that idea as well.

"Because you look at her like Prince Charming looks at Cinderella," she tells me as a matter of fact.

"Ewww, He. Does. Not," Teddy says in my defense and obviously hating the idea.

My hope dies.

"Only cause **you** like her," Phoebe teases him.

"Do not," he tells her, but clearly he does. "And neither does Dad. Do you Dad?"

 _Shit!_

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Are you really going to put this old photo of you and your dad up at the gallery show," I ask Jose as I look through some of the photos he's going to use for his exhibit.

"Oh most definitely," he tells me.

"Get a look at that hair," Derrick says as we look at Jose standing next to his dad with a bad bottle dye job of sandy blonde hair and black roots showing.

"Oh give me a break," he tells us. "I was in my senior year of high school and I was trying to grow dreadlocks like my dad, but mine just ended up being stringy curls."

He and I have spent the whole day out and about Seattle taking photos.

I love being his assistant. I am in awe of him every time he works. The things he can capture just by looking through that tiny camera lens are truly incredible.

"Come on let's get out of here," Derrick says getting his things. "I need to get dinner started."

"No, I want to cook for us tonight," I tell them.

"Well alright, Girlfriend," Derrick tells me, happy to be relieved of the duty.

…..

Derrick and Jose helped me with the frames I found at the place Mrs. Jones suggested I go, which happens to be one of Jose's favorite places. They promised to join me later for dinner.

I spotted Ryan sitting in his SUV on my way up and I feel terrible for the guy. I wouldn't want his job, but I suppose he's had to do it a time or two before. I know Christian wouldn't want me to invite him in and Ryan would probably be as uncomfortable as he was the first time he stayed over anyway, so I left him alone.

I hear a knock on my door and I look to see Brandon standing on the other side of it.

"Hi," I say to him after I unlock it to get it open.

"Hi," he says back to me.

I move aside to let him in.

"Char said you were worried about me," he tells me.

"I was," I tell him. "I am. Brandon, I feel terrible."

"You shouldn't," he tells me. "You didn't know."

"To sit there while I talked about my feelings for Christian…" I start.

"Sucked," he says. "A part of me was happy that you were finally going in the direction I tried to move you in. The other part hated it was because of some guy you'd just met. But I put that aside. I was your friend and your therapist."

"I wish you would have told me," I tell him.

"Would we be together now if I had," he asks me.

"No," I tell him gently.

"That's why I didn't tell you," he says to me. "It would have made things awkward and I wasn't ready to keep my distance from you."

"You don't have to keep your distance," I tell him.

"I do," he says. "If I am ever going to get over you, it's best I don't see you every day or… ever."

"Brandon," I say to him, not liking never seeing him again.

"Of course I'll see you," he tells me. "You are a part of my family so I'll see you as much as I see Char."

"That little," I tell him and he laughs.

"I came to say goodbye," he tells me. "I'm heading to New York."

"For how long," I ask him.

"Not sure," he says. "I'm just playing it by ear."

My cell phone rings and I look down at it.

"Christian," he asks me and I nod. "You better answer it."

"One second," I say to Christian, answering his call and taking the phone away from my ear.

"Have a safe trip," I tell Brandon. "Let me know when you get back."

"I will," he tells me and leaves. I lock the door behind him.

"Hey," I say to Christian.

"What the hell is Ramsey doing there," he asks me and I can hear how pissed off he is.

"How did you know," I ask him. "Ryan?"

"Yes Ryan," he tells me, angrily.

"Christian Trevelyan-Grey," I scold him. "Are you making that poor man spy on me?"

"He is to report all threats," he tells me.

"Brandon is not a threat," I tell him.

"He is to me," he tells me.

"Really," I tell him. "Did you not just meet with your ex-wife today?"

"Anastasia Rose Steele..." he starts to scold.

"Oh don't go using that," I stop him. "That is my thing to use."

I hear him laugh.

"Jess is no threat to you," he assures me, calming down.

"I believe that, because you say it's true," I tell him. "Now believe that Brandon is no threat to you because I'm telling you he's not."

"It's not as easy for me as it is for you, Ana," he tells me. "I'm a jealous man. I'm the guy who nearly punched out Jose, remember?"

"It's not easy for me," I correct him. "I threatened to break Char's legs if she tried to talk to you and we weren't even together then."

He finds it deliciously funny that my jealousy would cause me to inflict bodily harm on someone as he tells me not to worry.

"You own me, Ana," he tells me.

"It's a good thing that I do," I tell him. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have anything left, since I gave myself completely to you."

He lets out a shaky breath and I know he is longing for me.

"Tell me you're not eating Ravioli for dinner," he asks me, changing the subject that would better be discussed when we are together.

"No," I tell him and I laugh. "I'm cooking for the guys tonight."

"Good," he tells me. "Have fun with your friends, Baby. Remember Ryan is right outside, so no panicking tonight."

"I'll remember," I tell him.

"Call me if you get scared," he asks of me. "No matter the hour."

"I will," I tell him. "I love you."

"I love you more," he tells me.

…

 **Sunday, January, 3, 2016**

 **Jess's POV**

I wake up with a pounding headache and cursing myself for drinking way too much last night.

The smell of coffee drifts through to the bedroom and I become alarmed because I know I didn't leave the coffee pot on.

Flashes of last night start to run through my mind as I remember going to a bar to have a drink.

I pull the covers off of me to see that I am still fully dressed in jeans and T-shirt.

I get up, slip on my robe, and make my way to the kitchen.

"Oh My God," I say when I see him.

"Good you're awake," he says to me, cheerfully. "Coffee?"

"Oh please tell me this isn't happening," I tell him as he stands there holding up a coffee mug in nothing but a large turquoise bath towel wrapped around his waist.

"Brandon, did we….did I have sex with you." I ask him.

"No," he tells me. "We got drunk, you more than I and after only four drinks. You are really a light weight, by the way. We piled in a cab and came here. I took off your shoes, I didn't think you'd appreciate me taking off anything else for you, and slept on your couch because I didn't want to sleep in your kid's rooms. I took a shower and my clothes are sill drying. I didn't think you'd want me stretching out your little blue bath robe."

"Well," I say plopping down in a chair at the table, "so much for my changed life."

"What does that mean," he asks me.

"I got plastered out of my mind in a bar," I tell him. "I am supposed to be getting my life back on track, not doing this type of reckless behavior."

"You were celebrating the start of a new you with a friend who you knew would get you home safely, otherwise you would have had your one drink and left like you were planning to do before I came and sat with you." he tells me. "You weren't being reckless, trust me I was there."

He sits a plate of French toast, eggs, and bacon in front of me along with a bottle of Advil and water.

"You cooked," I ask him.

"I….ordered," he says.

…

"Thanks for everything, Brandon," I tell him as I walk him to the door. "I hope you find what you're looking for in this New Year."

"You too," he says to me. "You enjoy this new life of yours and do me a favor?"

"What's that," I ask him.

"Give yourself a little slack," he tells me. "You've earned the right to have some fun."

I nod positively, not sure if I believe that or not.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

"Good morning, Daddy," The twins greet me as we sit at the breakfast table.

"So," I say to them between sips of coffee. "What do you two want to do on your last day of freedom?"

"Awww," they groan at my reminding them they have school tomorrow.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	38. Claws

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirty-Eight**

 **Claws**

 **Christian's POV**

"Hey my little stink bugs," Kate says to the twins as she lets us in to her and Elliot's house.

"You all need to start paying me for this," I tell her as I pass her, coming into the foyer.

"Oh shut up," she says to me.

She called this morning needing the twins to help pick out and try on some spring clothing for a piece she is doing for Kavanagh Media. The twins agreed with the promise of going out for pizza afterwards.

"Hey bro," Elliot says, when I join him in the living room. "How's it hanging?"

"Not as painfully as it was, El," I tell him.

"Aw shit dude," he says, "TMI."

"You asked," I shrug.

"You seem like you're doing good now being divorced," he says in a hushed tone, then looks around to make sure the kids are gone with Kate to the back of the house. "Now that you have Ana back, you can stop cock blocking me and Kate at all hours of the night with your 'I feel so lonely' Elvis Presley bullshit."

" **One** fucking time I did that," I admit to him, matching his low tone. "And I was drunk off my ass."

He laughs.

"How are Ana and the twins doing," he asks me.

"All are great," I tell him.

"But," he says.

"But I want us all to be together already," I tell him.

"Like how," he asks me.

"I want Ana to be able to come and go from Escala as she pleases," I tell him. "I want her to be able to spend the damn night when the kids are home. I want her to move in with us and..."

"Whoa Whoa Whoa, baby bro, back that train up," he tells me.

"What," I ask him, confused.

He gets up and I follow him down to his man cave so that we can talk more privately.

He goes over to his fridge and brings out two beers. We both keep a supply of the other's favorite beer in our fridge for times like these.

"You guys just got together a few weeks ago," he reminds me.

"Technically we've been together a few months," I tell him.

"What does Ana say about all this togetherness," he asks me.

"She wants to take it slow with the kids," I tell him.

"Is she ready to be step mom," he asks me.

"What," I say surprised. "No one said anything about her being step mom."

"So you don't see a future with Ana," he asks me.

I become annoyed and he holds his hands up in surrender.

"I'm just saying," he says. "I know where you were headed up there. You've already got you two married."

"What's wrong with that," I ask him

"You like being settled down," he says. "Nothing wrong with that, so do I, but did I like it at twenty-two, helllll no. Back then I liked fuckin and duckin. Now does Ana want to be tied down to you and two kids that aren't hers at twenty-two?"

"Ana's always known I had kids," I tell him. "It's one of the reasons she gave me the time of day, so that is the least of my worries."

"What is the most of your worries," he asks me.

"I have competition," I tell him.

"Well, spit it out," he says to me, anxiously. "Who is he?"

"Teddy," I tell him and he swallows his swig of beer hard and looks at me.

"Teddybear," he squeaks out.

"He has a major crush on his teacher," I explain to him.

"Ohhhh man," Elliot laughs. "I remember having that shit. Trust me, it will pass. Don't even worry about it."

"Easy for you to say," I tell him.

"I had a big ass crush on Sister. Mary Joel in tenth grade and I got over it," he tells me. "But damn she was hot."

He grins like a fool at the memory.

"She was a Nun, Elliot," I remind him.

"Yeah but damn," he reminisces. "Did you see the ass she had sticking out of that habit?"

"Yes, I did," I reminisce along with him. She was in her late twenties and damn you could just see the outline of those tits and ass even in all that black cloth she wore. "One time I saw her without her veil. She had the thickest of dark manes I'd ever seen before Ana's."

"Oh man tell me about it. I remember one dream I had," Elliot goes on to tell me and being him, he takes it too far. "about her coming into my room wearing this sexy tight mini habit and thigh high black stockings with stiletto maryjanes on. She had that ruler in her hand she always carried around with her, telling me what a bad boy I'd been.."

I choke on my beer.

...

 **Monday January 4, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

I sit at my desk and plop my head down to face plant it. I've been at work for all of ten minutes and I am so ready to go home.

I hear the door open and close. Judging by the footsteps I know its Sandy before she even says a word.

Her laughter when she takes a look at me with my face and arms sprawled out on my desk is confirmation enough.

"It's not that English stuff you drink but its made the way you like it," she tells me as she sits a to-go cup of tea on my desk.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you," I tell her as I take a sip.

"You need to come out with us after work," she tells me. "Amber and I are going to the bar downtown to shake off the back to school blues."

"I don't know," I tell her.

"Come on, Ana," she goads me. "You never come out with us. Just one drink."

"Alright," I give in. "Just one."

The door opens again and we both look to see Christian standing there.

He looks at me and then Sandy to acknowledge her before his eyes turn back and lock with mine.

My God he is so in GEA mode, I can't help but stare. And the way he is looking at me, lets me know that if I was alone I would be held up on my desk by now.

From the corner of my eye I can see Sandy's head turning from him to me and back to him before she speaks.

"Uh, okay," she says laughing a little. "I'll just go check on the kids."

"Thank you, Sandy," I finally speak, trying to sound professional. "I'll just have a quick meeting with Teddy and Phoebe's Dad."

"Sure, no problem," she says to me.

He nods to her as she passes him by.

"I don't think we played that off well," he tells me coming inside and closing the door.

"No kidding," I tell him. "I am going to be fielding her questions all day. Where are the twins?"

"Outside listening to the morning announcement," he tells me. "Which is why I snuck in here to see you."

"Oh that's not obvious," I tell him. "Especially since you've never been here before."

"I have a legitimate excuse," he tells me. "I have to meet with the principle."

"Why," I ask him.

"Career month," he says and I frown.

"No time to discuss it now," he tells me. "I say we have about two minutes left."

He takes me in his arms and kisses me.

He tastes of coffee and cinnamon rolls.

"Best thing I've tasted today," I tell him.

"Tell me you ate breakfast," he begins to scold.

"Yes, I did," I assure him.

Sandy peeks her head in and I give her the all clear to enter with the class.

Teddy and Phoebe have mile wide grins on their faces when they see their Dad, but know better than to do anything but take their seats.

Phoebe gets in a little wave at him as she sits down and he winks at her.

He is about to head out of the door when the principle walks in stopping him.

"Ah, here we are," Principle Tanner says as he comes in to join us. Should I be worried that he knows where to find Christian?

 _Don't be stupid, Ana. His kids are in this class._

Sandy looks at me in question and I shrug letting her know I have no idea what's going on.

"Well class, Ms. Steele," he begins. "As you all know, this is the start of our career month and to kick us off, Mr. Grey here has volunteered his company, Grey Enterprises Holdings, to our school. Now that means you all get an extra field trip this year. How would you all like to see how a real business works?"

"Yeahhhhh," the class erupts with excitement.

Teddy and Phoebe beam with pride as they look at their dad.

"Ms. Steele, I'll have the field trip slips for you at the end of class today," he tells me.

"Very well," I tell him. "Class lets thank Principle Tanner and Mr. Grey."

"Thank you Principle Tanner and Mr. Grey," they all sing as the men leave us to our day.

...

 **Christian's POV**

"Good morning, Mr. Grey," Andrea greets me. "David Keegan is waiting in your office."

"Thank you," I tell her. "Hold the usual calls."

"Yes of course, Sir," she tells me.

"Dave," I say to him when I walk in. "Long time no see."

"Whose fault is that," he asks me, sounding a little pissed off.

His usually low cut jet black hair is now long and he looks like he hasn't shaved in a few days.

"Mine," I tell him. "I feel like shit for not returning your calls since me and Jess split. I was just really fucked up in the head."

"You had good reasons," he tells me.

"What's going on with you, Dave," I ask him.

"I didn't come here to just unload on you," he tells me.

"I'm asking," I tell him.

"Kelly and I," he begins. "We hit a rough patch. We are thinking about...separating."

"Did you cheat on her," I ask him.

"No, I didn't cheat on her," he tells me, offended. "You know I don't do that shit."

"What happened," I ask him.

"Work, life, kids," he says. "We just grew apart."

"Well fix it," I tell him. "Take some time off and grow back together."

"Gee, Christian, why didn't I think of that," he tells me. "Don't you think I tried?"

"Try harder," I tell him. "Your company is doing extremely well. It can stand without you for a few weeks. Get the hell out of town and get it done."

"The ink is not even dry on your damn divorce yet," he tells me.

"And you can't compare the two of you to me and Jess," I tell him. "You two belong together. So fix this shit or you'll be the biggest fool in the world letting her go."

"Shit, I know," he says running his hand over his stubbled face.

"Where is she and the kids now," I ask him.

"She's moved in with her parents," he tells me.

"For fuck sakes, David," I tell him. "A wife's parents are the biggest killer of a marriage."

"I know," he says, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Look I came here to get my mind off of all this. Let's go out and have a drink later. Let some of the single life rub off on me."

"Well I'm actually off the market again," I tell him.

"Already," he says to me. "When did all this happen?"

"I met her on Halloween," I tell him.

We spend some time bringing each other up to speed and back in the loop and I tell him all about Ana and I.

"I'm happy for you Christian," he tells me. "I know they say that once a couple is divorced they have to divide up their friends. I hope you know that Kelly and I never took sides..."

"I know," I tell him. "Jess and I appreciate that."

"How the hell did you two pull that off and stay friends," he asks me.

"We have to do it for the twins," I tell him. "All of that anger I had for Jess was only hurting them. I still get angry, but nowhere near how it was. Having Ana in my life...helps."

"Yeah I bet," he laughs.

...

"Look who it is," I say to Baby Tyler as he comes in with his moms.

He gives me a sly smile and I can't help but take him out of Gwen's arms. He comes willingly to me.

"How is my little Godson," I ask him in my baby talk voice I used to use on my own kids when they were his age. I see all eyes on me, so I quickly stop. "You came to hang out with me?"

"Well don't mind us," Ros says of my lack of acknowledgement and Gwen laughs.

"David, it's good to see you gain," Ros says, taking the initiative herself. "You remember my wife, Gwen?"

"Of course I do," he says. "How are you, Gwen?"

They make their hellos while I go over to look out the window with Tyler.

He gets a kick at me pointing out things and making faces at him.

"So we'll meet you guys at the bar," I hear Ros say.

What the hell did I just miss?

"What bar," I ask her, coming back over to join them.

"The one around the corner," Dave says.

"I didn't agree to go out," I tell them.

"Oh come on save me, Christian," Gwen begs as I hand Tyler back over to her. Her blonde hair has been cut just at her shoulders in a playful style to match her bubbly personality. She is the polar opposite of the wiseass redhead that is Ros Bailey. "Do you realize, I am so bored at home right now, I came here?"

"Alright," I tell them. "You've talked me into it. Just one drink."

...

 **Ana's POV**

"So Christian Grey is your guy," Sandy says as we sit in the employee lounge having our lunch.

"Were we really that obvious," I ask her.

"Well those intense I want you now stares kind of gave it away," she tells me.

I shake my head at myself and Christian.

"He's hot," she admits. "If I was into white guys I would give you a run for your money."

"Oh wow, not you too," I groan. "I already had to threaten to break my bestfriend's legs, so it's a good thing you're not into them."

"Into what," Amber comes and joins us.

"White guys," Sandy says.

"Nothing wrong with a little whipped cream in your cocoa there Sandy," Amber tells her.

"I prefer the taste of my silky smooth chocolate bars," Sandy tells her and Amber sighs in appreciation.

"Great, now I want something sweet," I tell them and they laugh as I head over to the vending machine to get us all something.

"Why are we talking men? Is there fresh meat around here," Amber says like a woman on the prowl.

She is thirty three and keeps going on about needing to get married before her biological clock runs out.

"I thought you were into the new fifth grade teacher, what's his name," I ask her.

"Mr. Kroger," she says.

"Aw, that sounds like an old fart's name," Sandy tells her.

"And he acts like one," Amber says and we laugh.

"Well maybe you'll have luck at the bar later on," I tell her.

"Oh my God you are actually coming with us," Amber says.

"I had a time convincing her," Sandy says.

"Convincing who," Larry asks, joining us.

"Look the gangs all here," Sandy says, sardonically.

"I was just surprised that Ana is going to the bar with us after work," Amber tells Larry.

Sandy and I give Amber a look that lets her know she should keep our plans to just us.

"That sounds like fun," Larry says. "Count me in."

"Oh it's just a girl's night out," Amber tries to backtrack, not realizing that Larry would invite himself along.

"Oh don't mind me," Larry says refusing to take the hint. "I won't get in the way of your little man hunt. I'll just keep Ana here company since she doesn't date or anything, right, Ana?"

"Right," I say to him, flatly.

...

"Don't worry," Sandy says as we walk back to the classroom. "I won't leave you alone with him."

"You are hard on Larry," I tell her, but glad she plans on sticking next to me.

I hate to admit it about our assistant principle but he is weird in a icky factor kind of way.

"I don't know," she says. "Something about him just rubs me wrong. He always pops up when you're around. I use to think it was cute that he liked you, but now it's weird."

I nod in agreement.

...

 **Christian's POV**

The twins left for mom and dad's a little while ago.

They are excited about coming here with their class. I already have a team working on things that would keep a bunch of curious seven year olds interested in us for a few hours and I must say they have come up with some great ideas that will make the twins happy.

"Now this is what I'm talking about," Gwen says as she and Ros join David and me at our table.

He's already knocked back two boiler makers and I'm on my third shot of tequila.

I texted Ana earlier to let her know I was going out with friends before I head home. I check my phone for any missed messages from her, but she hasn't responded. I'm guessing her phone is still off.

"Oooo lets play pool," Gwen says as she eyes the blue pool tables in the back of the bar.

"I'm game," Ros says and we all get up to play.

Its guys against girls, which causes Dave and me to roll our eyes because neither one of us think Ros nor Gwen know a damn thing about pool.

Of course we were made to eat crow when they left us in the dust and won the first round.

I hear a faint giggle and I instinctively hone in on the sound. It causes a tingle to travel down my spine right to my groin.

I turn to see Ana walking toward the bar. She is with her assistant Sandy, a brunette I've never seen before, and the assistant principle whose name escapes me at the moment.

They take up the empty seats at the bar with their backs to the pool tables. It gives me a chance to watch her without being found out. Her brunette companion goes right to work flirting with the bar tender while she and Sandy engage in conversation.

Ana begins to talk more animatedly to Sandy and I frown when what's his name assistant principle starts hanging on her every word a little too hard.

He gets up and positions himself to where he is now standing between Ana and Sandy offering Ana a taste of whatever the fuck it is he is drinking.

She shakes her head to tell him no, but he is trying to insist. She is being polite enough, but her body language is screaming that he is too close for her comfort.

"Be right back," I tell Dave when he tells me it's my turn to make my shot.

I barely hear him as I am on a mission to save my girl from this prick who can't seem to take a hint and step the hell back.

...

 **Ana's POV**

Larry is invading too much of my personal space and I am starting to get annoyed. I swear the guy helps me carry a few gifts at Christmastime and he thinks we are now best friends.

A tingle travels down my spine as someone comes up behind me. I don't even have to turn around to see that it's him.

My body tells me when it instantly relaxes with the exception of the point between my legs that dampens my panties.

 _How can he just being in the same room make me feel this safe and this turned on at the same time?_

"Ms. Steele," he says leaning on the bar looking at me. "I thought that was you."

"Hello, Mr. Grey," I tell him, purposely turning in his direction. "It's very nice to see you again."

"Is it," he asks and he can't help the smirk that is fighting to show on his face.

"Yes, very," I tell him.

"Well why don't you join me in a game of pool," he tells me. "I am in need of a partner."

"Oh I couldn't leave Sandy," I say but she interrupts me.

"No go on," Sandy says quickly. She practically pushes me off my bar stool. "I have Larry to keep me company, right Larry?"

"Well actually..." he starts.

"Great," Christian takes my hand and leads me away without letting him finish.

We make our way over to the pool tables where he introduces me to Ros his right hand. She is a stunningly beautiful red head and if she is his VP, she must be smart as hell too.

That is not a good combination I want working so close to my man.

In response to her, I take hold of Christian's arm possessively, not giving a damn if my assistant principle sees or if Amber innocently runs her mouth to the rumor mill at work tomorrow.

I must have "mine bitch" written all over my face because she smiles knowingly at me then introduces me to her wife, Gwen.

"It is very nice to meet **you** ," I tell Gwen, shaking her hand a bit too enthusiastically.

 _What the hell is up with me right now? Jeez get a grip, Ana!_

I silently curse my jealousy as Christian snickers at it.

He is **sooo** loving this.

Finally he introduces me to David, his long time friend.

I am pleased to meet him. I've always wondered about Christian's friends.

"I've gotten quite an earful about you today," David says pecking me on my cheek. "I feel like I already know you."

We all hit it off right away.

Ros and Gwen are a riot the way they play off of each other and David reminds me of a more serious version of Elliot. I can see why he and Christian are friends.

...

Sandy and Amber soon join us at the pool table.

"Where's Larry," I ask them.

"Oh he stormed off right after you left," Sandy tells me.

"Is he always that much of a prick," Christian asks and I can see the wheels spinning in his head. I prepare myself for the integration I know is sure to come later.

"Yes," we all say in unison.

I introduce everyone to Amber and Sandy.

Amber blatantly checks out David when he and Christian walk over to the bar for drinks. I tell her that he is married and she moves on.

"Damn, all the fine ass good ones are taken," she tells me, but then she eyes Christian.

"YES, they are," I tell her before she tries to make a move on him.

"Retract those claws, Ana," Sandy whispers to me as she makes a cat hissing sound.

"Fine," I tell her and resign myself to cleaning them just in case.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Someone asked what GEA stands for. It is what Jose named Christian and it stands for Gray-eyed Adonis.**

 **Don't forget to check out pinterest.**

 **thank you for reading, following, favoriting, pinteresting, and reviewing.**


	39. Reining In My Monster

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Thirty-Nine**

 **Reining In My Monster**

 **Christian's POV**

"Well," I ask Ana as we enter her apartment.

"Isn't Taylor waiting downstairs for you," she asks, trying to avoid my question.

"I pay him to wait," I tell her. "Now answer my question."

"Larry McMahon is a little...weird," she tells me.

"With you," I ask her, already texting Welch for an extensive background check on that fucker.

The fact she has to think about it is pissing me off.

"How long has he been harassing you," I ask her.

"What! No, Christian," she tells me. "You have it all wrong. He hasn't done anything at all. It's just a feeling. Sandy thinks he has a crush on me but he's never done anything in the slightest."

"Maybe he hasn't had the opportunity," I tell her. "Have you ever been alone with him?"

"Yes," she says and my blood boils. "Most recently was right before Christmas break. He and I were practically the only ones left on the campus. Surely if he was after me, it would have been the best chance."

"I didn't like the way he was all on you at the bar," I tell her and I regret it because I know she will dismiss my concern for jealousy, which I was until I saw her tense up toward him.

"He wasn't even that close..." she starts.

"You were clearly uncomfortable," I remind her.

"I'm always uncomfortable when a man besides you and my friends are too close to me," she admits. "It's just something that I've learned to live with. I'm sorry I gave you the impression it was more than what it was. I know I make too much of things."

"Don't disregard your instincts, Ana," I scold her. "The last time some guy creeped you out it was Rob Rodgers. So you've been spot on thus far. Promise me you'll trust what you're feeling and let me know about it."

"I promise," she tells me, thinking I let it go, but I continue on.

"I want you to have a CPO," I tell her.

"For what," she asks. "I'm only going from work to home and there is always people around..."

"Don't depend on them. Most people won't do shit to help when they see someone in trouble," I tell her.

"Okay," she says. "I'm not saying no to the idea of a CPO. But can we just put it on the backburner for now. I'm sure by noon tomorrow everyone is going to know about us. I don't want a CPO tailing me all of a sudden on top of that. It's just giving them more to talk about."

"Fuck them," I say to her.

"You don't have to work with them," she counters.

"I'm not going to compromise your safety to appease those idiots," I tell her. "I have a mind to take you and the twins out of that damn school..."

"Christian, now you are just overreacting," she tells me. "I've known Larry since my first day at work and I truly think that he just has the wrong idea about me. I'm sure seeing us together last night set him straight, but if not, the next time the opportunity presents itself, I will set him straight."

"I don't want you alone with him," I tell her. "If Sandy or Amber is not in the room, I want you to leave."

She nods in agreement.

"I want you to think about moving into Escala," I her. "You are too far away from me here."

"We are only what... fifteen minutes away from each other," she tells me.

"That is still too damn far," I tell her.

Anyplace is too far if it's not in my home and in my bed.

"Don't you think you are overreacting a tad bit," she asks me. "He wasn't even flirting. He never flirts or anything. He was just trying to get me to taste the drink he created."

 _Was that all he was doing?_

"It doesn't matter," I tell her as well as myself. That on top of her bad dreams and panic attacks have me on edge and I want her closer. "I want you at Escala."

"Christian, please, will you stop..." she begins.

"Ana, I know you love living next to Jose but..." I start.

"Its not just that," she tells me. "I like having my own place and being on my own right now."

 _Shit! She likes being on her own. Maybe El was right. Maybe she's not ready to settle down with a guy with two kids and one divorce under his belt._

"You'll be on your own at Escala," I reason with her.

"But you'll be paying most of whatever it takes for me to live at that place," she tells me. " I like making my own way and having my own say. I like having my independence, Christian. I need that right now."

Realization slaps me upside my thick head hearing those words from her and the meaning behind them.

The only relationship she's ever had was with that bastard who tried to control her and take away her freedom. Now here I am seemingly trying to do the same thing. My motives maybe good, but I'm sure it feels the same to her.

"Come here, Baby," I tell her. She walks into my open arms and I wrap them around her. "I didn't mean to steamroll over you."

"I know," she tells me. "I want to give you something."

She goes over to a drawer in the kitchen and comes back with a tiny black box.

"A master key," she says when I look at her in question. "And the code to the alarm. I know that I freaked you out with my panic attack and you not being able to get in here to help me, so.."

"Now I can," I finish for her and she nods.

"Whenever you want," she shrugs and I realize the enormity of her trusting me with this key.

"Thank you, Baby," I say pulling her into my arms again to hold her. "Thank you for trusting me with this. I never want to take over your life. I want to share in it with you, not control it."

She nods.

"At the same time though, I have an overwhelming desire to take care of you and it's only matched by my need to keep you safe," I admit to her. "I will do my best to curtail my desires and needs for all things...you."

"Hmm..well not all things me," she says. "There are some parts of me that I want you to need and desire."

"Is that right," I tell her as the erection I've been trying to stave off hits full blast.

I don't know if she meant to sound sexy as hell, but she sure as fuck did.

My stiff rod presses into her leg and she looks at me. I raise an eyebrow at her in playful challenge and she bites her lip.

 _Mmmm, that was definitely the right thing to do._

We both moan as I press my lips to hers and quickly enter her mouth with my tongue. She taste of the long island iced tea Ros let her try and she discovered she likes it.

She groans in frustration when I pull away.

"Have I awakened my monster, Baby," I tease her.

"Yes," she breathes out. "And I am having a terrible time reining her back in right now."

"Well, Baby," I tell her as I lead her to her bedroom. "That's because reining in my monster is and will always be **my** job."

"Are you sure you have time," she giggles.

"Mmmmm," I say at that sound. "I'll make it quick."

"Oh, I don't know," she says as I lead her close to her bed. "She's a pretty big monster."

"Then I better give her a mind blowing orgasm," I tell her and she nods.

"Yes, please," she says.

I strip her of her black turtle neck sweater and lacey light blue bra.

The sight of her makes me growl as she stand in her gray wrap-around skirt and black knee high boots. Her perky tits are perfection and those hard pink nipples are just begging for my attention.

I walk behind her and sweep her hair to one side. She leans her head over to expose her neck as I plant soft wet kisses on her skin.

My arms wrap around her and I palm her tits in my hands.

She inhales sharply when I tweak her nipples with my fingers.

 _Fuck she is so hot._

I turn her around and bend down in front of her to unzip her boots.

"Very sexy, Baby," I tell her as I slide each zipper down and run my hands along her smooth legs.

She steps out of her boots and I un-wrap her skirt tossing them aside.

She stands before me in nothing but her light blue lacey panties.

I run my hands along her belly as I gently kiss the soft flesh.

"Are you ready for me, Baby," I ask her.

"Yes," she pants out.

I slide her panties down her legs.

She whimpers when I check for her wetness with my tongue.

"Mmmmm," I say as I taste her. "Very ready. Very delectable."

Her eyes go wide when I bring the crotch of her underwear up to my nose and bury it in them.

On their own accord my eyes drift close as her scent invades me.

Wanting the real thing, I toss the panties on her dresser. The sound of them hitting her deflated Charlie Tango balloon causes me to look over.

"What in the hell," I say as I notice a pink and white Jack Rabbit dildo laying on its side.

"Oh my god," She says, embarrassed as she follows my stare.

"Have you been keeping my monster busy, Baby," I ask her as I pick it up.

"No," she squeals grabbing it from me and putting in a draw.

"Jesus, Ana," I say as I look in the drawer and see all kinds of sex toys and lubes.

"It's not what it looks like," she says, her voice is still raised a few octaves. "I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be, Baby," I tell her. "I just didn't realize you were into toys."

"I'm not," she says quickly. "Townsend thought it would help me be more...willing if I experimented with myself but it didn't...I don't like it."

"Have you tried using them since you and I started..." I start.

"No," she squeaks out before I could finish.

"Why not," I ask her.

"I...um," she starts blushing more and more pink by the minute. "I like it better when you...do it... to me."

"Lay on the bed," I tell her and she looks at me in question.

I nod in the direction of the bed and she goes over to lie down.

I quickly strip out of my clothes.

She watches as I look through her rather impressive collection of pleasurable toys. I decided to go with the mini vibrating wand our first time doing this.

No way in hell is anything going inside of her but me right now.

She covers her face and peeks through her fingers as I hover over her with the wand in my hand making it clear that I plan to use it on her.

She inhales shapely when I pour out the cool lubricating jell on one of her nipples, but settles when it quickly warms to match her body temperature.

"Relax, Baby," I tell her before I start. "I want you to enjoy this."

She squirms and whimpers underneath me as I work the lubricated nipple over with the wand and I capture the other in my mouth to suckle it.

"Oh my God," she moans out nearly lifting herself off the bed if I wasn't there to press her back down.

I smile when she starts moving her hips, silently telling me where she needs me to go.

I kiss and lick my way down to nestle myself between her legs. I drop the lubricant on the floor. My girl is so wet, she doesn't need it.

Unable to resist, I run my tongue up her pussy to her clit to taste her. I suck on it making a popping sound as I drag it through my lips and out of my mouth.

"No don't stop," she whines miserably as I take a little too long to bring the wand to where I want it to be.

"Never, Baby," I assure her.

I place the wand on the bud of her extremely hard clit.

"Oh yes, yes, yes," she moans out as I work her up to the height of where she longs to be.

I watch as she loses herself in the pleasure I am giving her.

She raises both arms above her head and grabs hold of the bed sheets, twisting them as she grips them hard in her hands.

Her back is in a deep arch. I place the palm of my hand between her breast to gently press her back down and keep her still. I move my hand and slip its finger in her pussy to finger her. She instinctively clasps around it so I insert the second one in.

I suck on her inner thigh as I work her clit over with the vibrator and finger fuck her.

She begins to tremble and I know she can't take much more of the sensory overload she is being made to endure.

Her asshole begins to pucker as if asking me for a little attention. Reluctantly, I leave that for another day.

"Ooohhhh God," she moans out low and throaty, trying to hang on and prolong her torture. "OhGodohGodohGod"

"Cum for me, Baby," I tell her and it tips her over the edge.

Her pretty pussy contracts as her juices flow out of her.

Her gorgeous mouth falls open and I watch her as she rides her wave of ecstasy.

She has the cutest most sexiest orgasm face and I am the only one in the world who has seen it.

 _I am one lucky bastard._

I remove the vibrator when she begins to squirm away from it. Her body becomes flaccid. I can't say the same about my painfully hard dick.

While she is still riding high, I crawl my way back up her body.

"Better," I ask of my monster.

"Much," she says, calming down.

She takes hold of my face in her hands and kisses me, letting me know that she is still horny for me.

"Mmmmm, baby," I moan as I gently bite her bottom lip. I love the feeling of her wanting me this much.

"Christian," she whispers a needy pant when I press my dick into her.

"I want to take you from behind," I tell her.

Her eyes go wide in surprise.

"On your knees," I instruct her. "You'll like it. Trust me."

I move off of her to give her room and she quickly turns over.

She tucks her knees so that she is now on all fours and I straddle her legs.

 _Fuck Me! I love her ass._

She yelps in surprise when I smack it one good time.

Her giggle quickly turns into a sultry moan when I run my dick through her pussy juices.

"Damn, Baby," I moan. "You keep making those sounds and I won't get a chance to take you."

"Please," she begs.

"It will feel different," I prepare her. "Deeper. Tell me if it's too much, Baby."

She nods.

I grab the base of my dick and slowly slide him into her tight pussy.

I can't help the moan that escapes me.

It's like sliding into exquisite oil, warm and addictive.

"Oh my God," she moans. She lowers her head so that her forehead is resting on her bent arms.

I set a slow pace, waiting for her to match me and she quickly does.

I speed up as my need to release inside of her takes over.

She begins to whimper like a newborn pup as she bucks into me matching my thrusts.

I grab hold of her hips and pump into her as she bucks back into me.

My groin bounces forcefully off of her ass as it continues to slap and slam into her.

"Oh God," she moans out as her pussy begins to clamp around me, letting me know she is close.

"Aw. Fuck. Baby. Yes," I moan out with each pump of my hips. "So good. You feel so fucking good."

"Christian, Christian, Oh God," she moans out as she cums.

I snort out her name as my orgasm rips through me like a bullet. My dick explodes as the hot cum erupts out. My balls begin to shake as they empty everything they've got into her contracting pussy.

Wave upon pleasurable wave comes crashing down on me without giving me time to breathe and I wonder if I will survive it.

Fuck! I welcome this death. My God what a way to go.

Both of our legs give way and I collapse on top of Ana.

I hold myself up by the palm of my hands and push myself off of her.

"Fuck," I pant out as I lay next to her.

She turns her head to look at me and I pant out a laugh as she grins wide at me.

"My monster," I ask her after we both calm down.

"Comatose," she says, fighting sleep herself.

I go to the bathroom clean myself up and use Ana's toothbrush to brush my teeth. I bring towels to back to clean her finding her already asleep.

I gently clean off the oil from her nipples and our cum from between her legs, being careful not to wake her or arouse her again.

I get dressed and get her cell phone she left turned off in her bag. I turn it on, my message from earlier still blinking on her screen, and place it on her nightstand just in case she needs it.

Making sure she's tucked in, I bend down to gently kiss her lips.

She moans in response.

"Sleep Baby," I whisper to her. "I'll make sure you're locked in tight."

She nods a little as she sighs contently.

"Dream of me holding you in my arms all night," I whisper, tying to put the image in her head as I kiss her forehead. A smile graces her lips as she falls deeper into sleep.

I set her front door alarm before closing it behind me.

"Is that Ana," I hear the muffled voice of Jose.

"Nope, Christian," Derrick answers.

I go about locking Ana's door.

"Oh my Gawd," Jose's voice filters through his door. "She gave him a permanent key. I don't even have a permanent key. Damnit I want a key!"

I laugh as I walk away, but the thought of me leaving here with my girl all naked and warm in her bed makes me groan in agony.

Her drawer full of sex toys pops into my head. I'm glad that she doesn't find pleasure in using them alone. I love being the only one to make her cum.

...

"Step on it, Taylor," I tell him. "I don't want to be late picking up the twins."

"I'm on it, Sir," he says going a bit faster. I'm sure he wants to tell me that I'm the reason we might be late, but damn, I just couldn't help myself.

Of course we make it there with a few minutes to spare.

I walk into the dining room to see the twins and my parents finishing up dinner.

"Daddy," Phoebe says as she jumps up and I lift her into my arms.

"You smell girly," she says hugging me and my mom chokes on her wine.

My dad gets a good chuckle while Phoebe and Teddy look at them and then at eachother trying to figure out the joke.

Phoebe is pleased with herself all the same since she said whatever it was that made them laugh.

"Do you want anything to eat, Dear," mom offers.

"No thanks mom," I tell her. "I ate at the bar."

"You guys go get your things," I tell the twins. I put Phoebe down and she runs off behind her brother.

"Did they behave themselves," I ask them.

"Always," my dad says but I'm sure he's biased.

"They've done all their homework," Dad says.

"Thanks for taking care of them on such a short notice," I tell them.

"It's a pleasure," Mom says, happily. "Do make a habit of it."

I smirk at her, knowing exactly what she means.

"And bring her around so we may feed her," Dad reminds me.

"I'll be sure to do that," I tell them.

"Let's go guys," I call for the twins before they can say anything else.

...

 **Ana's POV**

I groan when my phone wakes me. Without opening my eyes, I reach over to grab it.

"Hello," I say groggily, trying my best not to wake up fully, as I am having the most amazing dream.

No one answers. I drop the phone somewhere in my bed as I turn away from it.

My dream overtakes me once again and I am back in Christian's arms.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I only saw one question to answer but most of you are wondering so yes, the twins will find out about Ana and Christian very soon, probably in the next chapter depending on how it falls.**

 **Shansanchez: lol at your sidenote. I do usual have more than one story going. I am working on adding more chapters to A Deperate Act but it is nowhere near ready to post yet as it will have a much darker Christian.**

 **My son's birthday falling on the weekend means I will not post again until next week.**

 **Thank you all for reading and reviewing.**


	40. The Business

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty**

 **The Business**

 **Tuesday January 5, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

I groan when my alarm wakes me from my sex induced coma.

I am feeling deliciously sore and well rested. I can't believe I slept for so long. My man really knows how to tame his beast.

Trying but failing to find the motivation to do so, I drag myself out of my warm comfortable bed anyway and head to the bathroom to take a shower.

"Hmmmm," I sigh as the hot water flows over my body and soothes me.

After spending and extra ten minutes in the shower, I wrap myself in my bathrobe to keep warm.

I strip my bed and notice the bottle of lubricating gel and my vibrator on the floor along with my cell phone.

I clean the wand and put it in the drawer with the rest of the sex toys before checking my phone. There is a message from Christian about going out to the bar yesterday and I smile as I text him.

 **Me: Are you awake?**

 **Christian: Every part of me is awake and needing every part of you.**

"I see you still wake up extra horny in the mornings," I tell him when he picks up my call.

"Mornings, afternoons, evenings, nights," he goes on.

"I get the picture," I interrupt him. "Looks like I have my own beast to tame."

"Mmmm, well baby," he says. "You certainly taught him a thing or two last night."

"Funny," I say. "I thought that was you teaching me. Quite well I might add. Did you call me last night?"

 _I could have sworn my phone rang._

"No baby," he tells me. "I wanted you to rest. Did you sleep well?"

"Very," I tell him. "I dreamed of you."

"Good," he tells me. I can hear the relief in his voice. I hate that he worries about me so much, but on the other hand, I love how deeply he cares.

I head to the front door when I hear knocking. I have a sneaking suspicion who it might be already.

"What is it," Christian asks when I laugh.

"Our favorite couple is here," I tell him.

"Make sure you eat," he scolds me.

"Always," I assure him. "I love you."

"I love you," he says to me.

"The Man has been given a key," Jose says as I open the door to let him in.

I look at him in question.

"Don't mind him," Derrick says. "He has been on one since he saw GEA leave yesterday."

"Oh give me a break," I say as I head to the kitchen to cook our breakfast.

"I want the turkey sausage," Derrick reminds me.

"Yeah, I know," I tell him as I fry it up.

...

"Oh, this is so good," Jose says as he dives into his cheese eggs toast and saugsage.

"Ana, you know you look..." Derrick starts as he points to me with his fork but stops to look me up and down trying to find the right word.

"I look what," I say to him as I look down at myself in my white thick terry cloth bathrobe. "If you say fat, I'm going to kick your butt."

"She's so cute," he says to Jose. "Even when she's pissed at me she can't curse me out properly. It's okay to say ass, Ana."

"Oh shut up," I tell him. "And don't change the subject."

"No, you just look..." he starts again.

"Thoroughly fucked," Jose says it for him.

"Is that it," Derrick asks, not sure if that is the right word. "Well you do look relaxed and all glowey and stuff."

"The love of a good man," Jose says.

"Amen," Derrick seals it.

"Aw," Jose says kissing him.

I roll my eyes but I can't help but grin at the two of them.

...

 **Christian's POV**

"Lets go you two," I tell the twins as I wait for them at the entrance way of the foyer. I need to get in early for a Department Head meeting so we'll all just go together.

We ride down the elevator in relative silence.

Taylor and Anderson take up the front while Phoebe is on my left playing with her Little Mermaid charm bracelet and Teddy is on my right lost in deep thought.

I eye him wondering what could have his mind so occupied this early in the morning.

"Dad when are you going to teach me the business," Teddy says as we ride in Taylors SUV.

I hear snickering coming from the front seat and I'm sure Taylor and Anderson are thinking exactly what I'm thinking as images of Marlon Brando and the Corleone's from the Godfather movies run through my head.

"Well, Son," I start. "You need to be a little bit older yet to learn most of what goes on at GEH. I'll think about letting you and your sister shadow me for a day after you're all done with career month."

"What does that mean to shadow you," he asks.

"It just means you get to hang out with me and see all of what I do," I explain to him. "Why are you so interested all of a sudden?"

"Well I figured out what I want to be when I grow up already," he tells me. "I want to be just like you, so I need to learn the business."

My chest swells with pride and I am unable to speak.

"I want to be like you too Daddy, but I don't want to be in the business," Phoebe says. "I'm going to marry a prince."

"That **never** happens in real life," Teddy scolds her.

"Does too," Phoebe counters.

"Nope, Nuhuh," Teddy tells her and I find myself enjoying this little debate.

"Yup, yeahuh," Phoebe counters. "It happened to Princess Kate. She married Prince William and they are living happily ever after."

"She's got you there, Son," I tell Teddy, stepping in to moderate.

"Well since she's already married the prince, you need to work like the rest of us," Teddy tells Phoebe and I laugh.

"I think Teddy has a point, Pheebs," I tell her and she pouts.

...

Taylor comes into my office ten minutes after I'm done with my meeting to hand me the report Welch put together on Larry McMahon.

"Did you read it," I ask Taylor.

"The man's a boy scout," he tells me.

"On paper at least," I tell him reading through the background check. "These guys are good at hiding shit."

"Yup," he agrees. "Later you find out they have torture dungeons is their basements."

I nod in agreement. _Sick Bastards._

"Maybe Ana is right though," I say tossing the file to the side. "I'm overreacting."

"Love tends to do that to a guy," Taylor tells me and I eye him.

"Do I look like I'm that giddy with love, Taylor," I ask him.

"No comment, Sir," he tells me. "But if this guy is a problem I can assign someone to Miss. Steele or at the very least, I can pay him a little visit..."

"Let's hold off on that, Taylor," I tell him. "Right now it is simply me not liking the guy."

He nods leaving me to my day.

Every instinct is telling me that there is more to this guy than just what's on this damn report. After all the Rob fucker had no red flags and look how that turned out.

I'm torn between over and under-reacting, but in the end I decide to do what I told Ana and put it on the back burner for now. He truly hasn't done anything to warrant such suspicion. I trust her to keep her word and her distance from that prick. I put his file away and focus on getting some much needed work done.

...

 **Ana's POV**

"I'll see you over there, Sandy," I tell her as I grab my lunch and head over to the employee lounge.

She is finishing up preparing the student's desk for a writing test I'm giving after lunch. In keeping with career month, I am asking them to write about what they plan to be when they grow up.

I already have little magnets with their faces on them and I'm going to pin their stories around themes of what they write about.

I walk to the lounge lost in thought until I feel people looking at me. More people have said hello to me today than usual. And more of the female staff have snubbed up their nose to me.

I'm sure I'm just being paranoid and letting my imagination run wild as always. Surely these people aren't acting this way because someone gossiped about who I was dating. No one is that petty.

"Hey, Ana," Terrence Kroger, the new teacher, comes up to me in the lounge. "So I hear you all had quite a time at the bar last night."

"Uh yeah," I tell him. "We really did enjoy ourselves."

"Great," he says. "Hey listen, not for nothing Ana, but a little birdie told me you and Christian Grey are together."

"A little birdie huh," I ask him and he nods. So much for it being my imagination.

"My sister, Loretta works for the guy," he tells me. "She's up for review. She's going for this promotion..."

"Is that right," I ask him trying not to hear anymore. He nods.

"She's a great girl and a really hard worker," he tells me. "Loretta Kroger, she works in accounting. If you could just put a word in.."

"Oh I don't get involved with that...I mean I'm not really at liberty to do that," I explain.

"To do what," Amber says joining us.

"Nothing," Terrence tells her. "I'll see you later Ana. See you later Sweetiekins."

He smiles a bit too long at Amber and leaves the table.

 _Sweetiekins_

"Amber Donovan," I start. "Why did you tell him I am seeing Christian?"

"I didn't," she tells me. "I haven't said a word to anyone, but Sasha in the main office told me about it. She is so jealous she is green. You know she's been trying to get his attention since his kids first enrolled. Can you believe she had the nerve to say he was gay because he didn't bite her line. You certainly shot that theory to hell."

I roll my eyes at the thought of her. Now way would Christian look once at that woman with her huge boobs, much too low-cut tight tops, and overly tanned leather skin.

"Did you get my text," Sandy says to me joining us.

"No," I tell her grabbing my bag and fishing out my phone to turn it on.

"Crazy Larry just came to the class looking for you," she tells me.

"Why is he Crazy Larry now," Amber asks her and Sandy tells her about his sudden surge in creepiness.

"Oh man," I say. "Listen to us. We are just as bad as the rumor millers."

Sandy laughs.

"It stays between us," she says.

"Well what did he want," Amber asks her.

"Didn't say a word," Sandy says. "He just opened the door, looked around, glared at me and then left."

"He probably just wants to reprimand me," I tell them as I look at Sandy's text. "What if some parent complained that I'm playing favorites."

"No way," Sandy says. "Parents are never in the loop about anything and I am here to go to bat for you."

My phone rings and I see it is a private call.

"Hello," I say and no one answers so I hang up.

"Who was it," Amber asks.

"They didn't say anything," I tell her.

"Probably a telemarketer," she says. "I get those damn calls all the time. I really wish I could find the jackass company that sells our information."

"Tell me about it," Sandy says. "I was in the middle of...ya know...with Nate. Damn phone rung and took me right out of it. It was some idiot telling me I just won a cruise. But of course I have to send him a small fee to mail me the tickets."

I laugh as I turn my phone back off and put it away.

"What did I miss," Larry says joining us.

"Oh, girl stuff," Amber says.

"Well that's the best kind of stuff," he says, looking at me.

"Were you looking for me earlier," I ask him.

"No," he says. "I just needed to do a safety check of the classrooms."

"I thought buildings and grounds did that," Sandy says, accusingly.

"They're short," he tells her, dryly.

...

"I don't think the assistant boss likes you anymore," I tell Sandy as we walk back to class.

"The feeling is definitely mutual," she tells me.

"You are too much," I tell her.

...

 _One Week Later_

 **Monday January 11, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

I wake up early and excited about the field trip to GEH today. I am looking forward to seeing Christian in his element, even if it will only be briefly I'm sure.

I step in and out of the shower and quickly make breakfast.

Jose and Derrick insist on dressing me for my first GEH appearance.

They said even though I'm going to be with a class of seven year olds, I still need to look the part of GEA's girlfriend because bitches will be "hawking me" whatever that means. I told them Christian didn't advertise us to anyone but Ros and his PA in case I call, but they said bitches know, so I'm just going with it.

I am plating up the food when I hear the familiar knock.

"Gurl have I got the outfit for **you** ," Jose says as I let him and Derrick in. He is carrying a garment bag in one hand and a smaller bag in the other. "It is sexy office work place, but I am also the girlfriend of the owner chic."

"Yayyy," I say giddy.

...

 **Christian's POV**

I drop the twins off and head over to Grey House. I need to get some work done before Ana and her class show up.

I know I just saw her yesterday, but I am still missing the fuck out of her. I plan on being with her for most of the day. Now way in hell she is going to be in this building without me with her. I know it is wishful thinking on my part but I hope I can find someway to get her alone for five minutes of kiss time, students be damned. I'm sure it will prove to be damn near impossible, but I've never backed down from a challenge.

"Mr. Grey," I hear Andrea's voice over my intercom. "The students have arrived."

"Thank you, Andrea," I tell her. "Get the team together."

"Yes, Sir," she tells me.

I take my elevator down to the first floor where I see my team has already assembled.

We watch as the kids get off the bus and each one cranes their neck up at the building.

I can't help but laugh when I read the "Whoa" that forms on their lips and I hear it first hand when they walk inside the lobby.

They are all in a double file line. Teddy is partnered with his friend Daniel and Phoebe is standing with her friend Michelle. Sandy is standing in the front leading the kids while Ana is holding up the back. Like her students, she looks around the lobby wide eyed and I wonder what she had in mind when she thought about where I worked.

Her eyes lock with mine and I try to pick my chin up off the floor.

As impressed as she is with Grey House I am a hundred times more impressed with her.

She is absolutely stunning.

She is wearing a knee length chocolate colored leather skirt, _leather for fuck sakes,_ a cream colored blouse and a beige coat with a long chocolate leather belt. But it is those damn brown one thousand inch heels that has me fighting to keep control.

We have the class go through human resources to get their photos taken for their little GEH employee badges that Taylor has created specifically for them.

We split them up in small groups and someone from each department heads a group. Later we'll all meet up in the board room where the team has come up with an activity that lets them conduct their own board meetings.

...

At lunchtime, we cater in pizza and afterwards everyone heads up to my floor to use my large boardroom.

I pull Ana back as everyone gets in the two large open elevators.

"Well take the next one," I tell them.

The doors close and I pull Ana into my private elevator.

"Christian," Ana squeals when I pounce on her before the doors can even close all the way.

"I've missed you," I tell her.

"Me too," she tells me.

"Damn you look good baby," I say to her as I maul her clothes. "Did you wear this for me?"

"Maybe," she says to me. "Well you and the hawking bitches."

Have no time to figure that one out as I grab for her and she darts out of my grasp before I get carried away.

"Saturday, I want you in those heels, that coat, and nothing else," I tell her and she nods her head.

I give her a quick peck on the lips before the elevator opens and we join the others.

"He's a natural," Ana whispers to me as we watch Teddy lead his board meeting.

"Just like his old man," I tell her and she laughs.

The day ends in a huge success giving the kids something else to think about being when they grow up and Teddy and Phoebe were very happy to have their class at Grey House.

...

 **Sunday January 17, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

"Why are you rushing off," Christian asks me as I pack away my chocolate heels and beige trench coat that he requested I wear this weekend. "The kids won't be here until this evening."

"What if they come early," I ask him as he leads me back to bed.

"Anderson would call to make sure I'm in," he assures me as he takes off my light pink scoop-necked sweater and pink bra. "But right now I need to be in you."

He tosses me backwards on the bed and I land with a thud as he crawls on below me. He sits up on his knees and tugs at my gray jeans. My pink panties and sneakers are lost in them as he pulls everything off at once and throws them in a pile somewhere on his bedroom floor.

I lay there naked looking at him as he is looking scrumptious in nothing but his white boxer briefs.

"See something you like Miss. Steele," he challenges me.

"Mmhmm," I purr out to him and he breathes in heavy at the sound.

I get on my hands and knees and crawl down the bed to him.

"All of this," I say as I run my hands down his chest to his abdomen.

"Mmmm," is his only response.

"These," I whisper as I dip my hand in his briefs to cup his balls.

"Shit," he moans a whisper.

"And especially this," I tell him as I stroke the length of him.

"Aw fuck, Baby," he groans as his hips jerk forward in response to my touch.

He brings his lips down to mine as I rear up to meet his.

"Fuck, Baby," he moans as he reaches out and smacks my ass. "I want this."

I turn so that my ass is now facing him.

"OhhMyGod," I moan as he enters me from behind.

"That's right Baby," he says as I match his rhythm. He grabs hold of one of my feet and lifts it to his thigh making me spread my legs wider while his other hand is grabbing hold of my butt cheek letting go only when he wants to smack it. "You feel so good. Do you like when I smack you on your ass, Baby?"

"Ohh yess," I whisper a moan as I cum. He gives me one last smack on my ass before he calls out my name as he empties himself inside me.

Spent, we both colapse on the bed.

...

 **Christian's POV**

"Damn Damn Damn," Ana says as she races to the elevator. I'm not far behind her. "I knew I should have left earlier now we've overslept. Surely the twins are in route home by now."

"Hey," I stop her mad dash before she makes it out of the great room. I turn her in my arms and kiss her lips. "Be careful driving home."

She is about to respond to me when she and I freeze at the familiar ding of the elevator.

Her face falls and I can practically see her heart sink when she hears the pattering of small feet. Phoebe calls out my name and Ana jumps apart from me like I'm contagious. She fumbles clumsily trying to fix herself.

"You look fine," I whisper. "Calm down, Baby."

She looks at me like I've grown another head wondering how I could be so calm.

Phoebe enters the great room first and stops short when she sees Ana causing Teddy to nearly bump into her.

"Ms. Steele," she says to Ana excited to see her. "Hi."

Teddy looks at me then Ana and then me again and I can see exactly when it clicks in his head that she and I are together.

"Hi Phoebe," Ana says to her, smiling. "Hi Teddy."

"Hi, Ms. Steele," Teddy answers her sadly. Try as he might, he is not hiding his disappointment well and I feel Ana tense.

"Why don't you all go and put your things away while I say goodbye to Ana," I tell them, giving him an out.

"Aww, she's not staying," Phoebe asks me.

"Come on Phoebe," Teddy commands her angrly, not giving me a chance to answer.

"OKay. Bye, Ms..." Phoebe starts but Teddy tugs her along before she can give a proper goodbye. We watch as they go.

"Great," Ana says miserably to me as we walk to the elevator. "He hates me. I **knew** this was going to happen. I told you."

"Baby, he doesnt hate you," I tell her. "He has a crush on you. I'll talk to him. It will be fine, you'll see."

"I hope so," she tells him. "Because the one thing I won't do is become the one thing that I've hated most of my life."

"What does that suppose to mean," I ask her, but she doesn't answer me.

"Ana," I call to her, needing an answer.

She shakes her head as the elevator doors close.

 ** _FUCK!_**

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Are we all on board with Kim Basinger playing Elena in the movie? She never crossed my mind as Elena, but now I don't know, I think she might nail it. Lord, I just hope she reads the books and not just the script. Eveyone calling her his girlfriend in the news media just made me mad. okay, I'm done ranting.**

 **I don't think this was too big a cliff hanger, so I'm sure you'll all be okay.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	41. GreySteele

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty-One**

 **Grey/Steele**

 **Ana's POV**

I enter my apartment upset at how I left things with Christian. But I just don't know how I am going to be able to move forward with him if his kids are not on board with us.

I knew the twins wouldn't like the idea of me and their dad. How could they? Really does any young child like when their parents start relationships, God how I hated it. My mom would forget I existed when she had a boyfriend. She always put them above me. She even dumped me with Ray for her last one. I will not be the girlfriend that gets in the way of Christian and his kids.

I take my cell phone from my bag and call my dad.

"Hey Dad," I say to him as he picks up my call.

When all else fails my dad is and always will be my go to guy.

"Hey Sweetpea," he says to me. "What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something is wrong," I ask him. Am I really that transparent?

"I'm your Dad," He tells me, "It's my duty to know these things, that and the fact that you are calling me on a Sunday when you're normally with **Mr. Grey**."

I shake my head at his insistence on teasing me about that skype disaster.

"Right," I tell him. "I guess I need some advice."

"Lay it on me," he says.

"I was with Christian just now and something happened…." I start.

"Yeah well that sort of thing happens sometimes, so don't panic," he says. "Just call your doctor. You have about five days to take the pill, but don't wait that long. I think you're pushing it if it's past 24 hours…"

"WHAT! Aw come on Dad," I scold him. "I don't need the morning after pill. That's not what I meant."

I am mentally kicking myself.

 _Note to self: never tell your dad you are no longer a virgin! No matter how okay he wants you to be with yourself and what happened to you when you were younger._

He listens while I tell him about what happened with Teddy.

"I just don't want to be like one of mom's boyfriends," I explain to him. "I hated them all so much. They took her away from me and they were nasty doing it."

"Sweetheart, you have a shitty mother," he tells me as gently as he can. "Carla cares only for Carla and whatever free ride she can get on at the moment."

"I don't want to be like her," I tell him, sadly. "I don't want to care just about myself and my needs. I don't want to be a person to just swoop in and ruin a kid's life. Especially Teddy's, he and his sister are such great kids."

"It's plain to see you're not like your mother in that way, Ana," he tells me. "You got your grandmother's big heart. You care about those kids."

"I do," I tell them.

"What about Christian? Is he a shitty father," he asks me. "Would he put himself above his kids? Would he put you above his kids? I think he's already shown how much he's willing to sacrifice for them."

"No doubt. He is a wonderful father," I tell him. "He wouldn't let anyone hurt his kids."

"Then it seems to me you have nothing to worry about," he says. "Just give the little guy a chance to get his bearings. Hell, I admire his taste."

I laugh.

"Thanks Daddy," I tell him.

"It's what I'm here for Sweetpea," he tells me. "Ana, if anyone understands what those kids are going through it's you. You'll find a way to make it okay them."

…

 **Christian's POV**

I take a deep cleansing breath and head upstairs to talk to Teddy.

"Teddy," I call to him when I knock on his door. I enter to find him unpacking his things. "I want to talk to you for a minute."

He stays quiet, but stops and sits on his bed to listen to me.

"Teddy, I understand that you're upset," I tell him calmly. "But what you did downstairs to Ana and your sister was extremely rude and uncalled for. I don't ever want to see you acting that way again. Do you understand?"

He nods his head.

"Can you tell me why you're unhappy," I ask him.

"I don't know," he simply says.

"Is it that you have a crush on Ana…or Ms. Steele," I ask him and he frowns in confusion.

"You like her like a girlfriend," I explain to him. "I know you are upset that she was here with me because you like her..."

"No," he says to me.

"You're not upset that she was here," I ask him.

"Yes," he tells me.

"Okay," I breathe out, running my fingers through my hair. "Let's go back. Do you have a crush on Ms. Steele?"

"No," he says. "Uncle Elliot said she's too old for me. He said I should check out some of the chicks at my school. So now I like Michelle."

I am so surprised by this that I don't even correct my prick brother letting him believe that it is okay to call girls chicks let alone check them out.

"Michelle," I repeat her name, thinking of the cute little dark haired quiet thing Phoebe introduced me to when I dropped her and Teddy off at school. She is a female version of my introverted Teddy. "Michelle is your girlfriend?"

"Yeah," he tells me. "Phoebe said she said she likes me so I wrote her a letter asking her if she likes me and she said she does so now she is my girlfriend."

"I see," I say, not really sure what I'm feeling about this little tidbit of information. "So you're not upset about…..What exactly are you upset about, Son?"

"You won't get mad," he tells me.

"No, I won't get mad," I assure him.

"I was upset that Ms. Steele was here," he tells me.

"Will you tell me why," I ask him.

"Phoebe still says you like her and we've been talking about it a lot and I've been thinking about it a lot and I don't want Ms. Steele to be my new mom," he whispers to me. "I like **my** mom. I like Ms. Steele too, but not like my mom."

He lowers his head like he's just disappointed me with his confession.

Phoebes walks in and sits next to her brother. She quietly takes his hand and puts her head on his shoulder in an effort to comfort him, already knowing what he's upset about.

He makes no move to push her away.

Faced with the reality of your parents actually moving on is far different then just talking about it at the breakfast table.

"Listen to me you two," I say to them. "No one can take your mom's place in your life. No one can take my place. We will always be your parents and you will always be our kids. Nothing or no one can change how much we love you."

"Will you be mean to mommy now," Phoebe asks me and Teddy perks up for the answer.

The way she's asking lets me know it is Teddy's concern and not her own as she has less trouble with voicing feelings then her brother does.

"Is that what you think Teddy," I ask him and he nods his head.

"Elijah says his parents fight all the time now because his dad doesn't like his mom's new boyfriend and his mom doesn't like his dad's wife," he tells me.

"Sometimes grownups have trouble getting along, especially when we all act like big kids instead of adults, but that's not the case with our family," I explain. "Mom and I will always do what's best for you and that includes not fighting. We still love each other as your parents. It's just not the same love as…."

"The way you love Ms. Steele," Teddy finishes.

"Yes, Teddy," I tell him. "And the way mom will love someone else."

"Will you get sad if we love the other man," Phoebe asks for Teddy again. "Is mommy going to be sad that we love Ms. Steele? We don't want to hurt her feelings."

"No, you won't hurt our feelings," I tell her and Teddy. "There is room enough for everyone in your hearts and its okay to love us all. Mom and I hope that you at least like the person that we may want to marry someday."

"I won't have to call him dad will I, because I won't," Teddy says upset.

 _Damn right you won't!_

"No, Son," I simply say, trying to hide my distain for that thought.

 _Jesus Christ this is hard._

"Okay," Teddy says, relieved. "And you are not about to marry Ms. Steele."

"No, Son," I assure him. "You'll have plenty of time to get use to that idea. Ms. Steele and I wanted to spend a little more time getting you use to the idea of us being together before I talked to you about it. We didn't mean for you to find out this way. I know it's kind of….weird me seeing your teacher."

"Uh huh," Phoebe says quickly. "I kinda guessed though."

"The look," I tell her remembering.

 _"Phoebe, why did you say that about me and Ana," I asked her._

 _"Because you look at her like Prince Charming looks at Cinderella," she told me._

 _"Ewww, He. Does. Not," Teddy said in my defense and obviously hating the idea._

 _"Only cause_ _ **you**_ _like her," Phoebe teased him._

 _"Do not," he told her, but clearly he does. "And neither does Dad. Do you Dad?"_

 _"_ _Both of you stop this bickering at the table," I told them diverting the question._

"Do we get to call her Ana," Phoebe asks.

"Well that is the tricky part," I tell them. "Outside of school, you can call her Ana, but during school time, she is your teacher and you have to call her Ms. Steele like the other kids. You won't be treated special because you guys are friends. Do you understand?"

They both nod.

"I'm sorry I was rude to her," Teddy tells me. "Maybe I can make her a card to say sorry."

"I think she'll like that," I tell him.

"What about me," Phoebe asks him.

"I'll make you one too," Teddy tells her reluctantly.

"Can you put glitter on it," Phoebe asks him.

"I don't have glitter," Teddy grumbles as he goes over to his desk.

"I'll get you some," Phoebe exclaims, running off to her room to get her glitter.

"You feeling better, Son," I ask Teddy.

"Yeah," he says to me, taking out his construction paper. "Thanks Dad."

"Anytime," I tell him. "Dinner will be ready in a little while."

I leave him and Phoebe to their card making and head downstairs.

I hurry and prepare dinner so that I may call and check on Ana.

It takes me about twenty minutes to get everything going to where I can leave it unattended for a moment.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Grey," Gail greets me, coming out of her apartment with Taylor right behind her. I swear the woman can't walk anywhere without his escort.

"Gail," I greet her.

I watch as she grabs some designer envelopes from the drawer.

"I…uh…I'm just going to go check on the twins," she tells me suspiciously and hurries off upstairs.

I look over at Taylor wondering what the hell that was about.

"What was that about," I voice my thought to him.

"Teddy called her on his cell," he tells me.

"Whatever for," I ask him.

"Guy stuff," he says, looking as suspect as Gail just did.

"Guy stuff," I repeat. "And he needs Gail?"

"Girl stuff," he says and I give him a look that causes him to shrug. "I suggest you clear your calendar for Saturday night."

"Saturday," I ask him and he nods. The twins are going to be with Jess. "I have plans with Ana Saturday night."

"Exactly, Sir," Mr. Cryptic says and then walks back to his apartment.

I put the chicken in the oven and head to my office.

* * *

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Teddy**

 **Date: January 17, 2016**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **is feeling better about us. Are you feeling better about us?**

 **Christian Grey**

 **A very worried about you, CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

* * *

I hit send and hope she responds.

* * *

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: I am feeling**

 **Date: January 17, 2016**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **much better. I talked to my dad and he made me realize what we have is nothing like my mom and her boyfriends.**

 **A very relieved to hear Teddy is better and wanting you to call me, Ms. Anastasia Steele.**

* * *

"Hi," she says when she picks up my call.

"Hey, Baby," I greet her.

"Is Teddy really okay," she asks me.

"Yes," I assure her. "He was worried about being disloyal to his mom."

"Aw he is so sweet," she gushes. "You reassured him?"

"I did, Baby," I tell her. "He and Phoebe are feeling better about us. I think with time they'll be just fine."

"Good," she says relieved. "Jess is very lucky to have such a caring son and he is going to make a girl very happy one day."

"Michelle," I tell her. "She's his girlfriend, apparently."

"Michelle," she says. "So that is what all the hand holding is about."

"Aw for fuck sakes," I groan. "They are seven years old! Is Phoebe holding hands with some snot nosed little punk?"

"Christian Grey," she scolds me. "He is a child."

"He is now public enemy number one," I tell her. "Who is he? I want him vetted…"

"Christian," she squeaks. "He is harmless and why are you not making a stink about Michelle?"

"She is cute as a button," I tell her.

"Sure," she says and I hear her sniff. "I can smell the double standard from all the way over here."

"Well, it is different for boys," I agree. "I didn't make the rules."

"But those are the ones you choose to follow," she tells me.

"Point well made," I concede. "Just keep an eye on him."

"Okay, I can do that," she laughs, "along with Michelle."

"Fine," I tell her. "So you talked to your dad about us?"

"Mhm," she says. "Once he realized I was not at risk of being pregnant he was very helpful."

"I suppose I should beef up my security now," I tell her shaking my head at how the hell that conversation must have gone.

"No," she laughs. "He's fine with it."

"Really," I ask her.

"Well don't go bragging about it when you meet, but yes he is," she tells me.

"He's a better man than me," I say to her.

"You'll be fine when the time comes," she assures me.

"I may be late seeing you on Saturday. The twins are up to something. I have no idea what it is yet." I tell her changing the topic and not wanting to think about when the time comes.

"Okay," she says. "Call and let me know. I love you."

"I love you more," I tell her.

"Impossible," she says to me.

…..

 **Ana's POV**

I hang up with Christian feeling like we are back on track again. Jose and Derrick are staying late at the gallery tonight, so I have to fend for myself. I'm in the middle of rummaging through my fridge for some dinner when I hear my cell ring and I race to get it.

I sigh when I see it is a private caller.

This telemarketer or whatever it is is really getting on my nerves.

"What," I answer angrily.

"Hello to you too," he laughs.

"Brandon," I sigh. "Thank God."

"Nice to hear from you too," he tells me. "My parents insist I call you and my obnoxious little sister over for dinner."

"You're back," I ask him.

"I got in this morning," he tells me.

"Are you sure you're okay with this," I ask him. "I can make an excuse."

"No, its fine you don't have to do that," he tells me. "I'm looking forward to seeing the both of you."

"Okay cool," I tell him. "I'm on my way."

I text Christian to let him know my plans and head off to shower and change.

...

 **Christian's POV**

I roll my eyes when I get Ana's text, but I text her a positive response anyway.

"Hey bro," Elliot says coming into my office.

"What the hell are you doing here," I ask him.

"Teddy called," he tells me. "He needed our help. You nearly burned our dinner bro. Kate says it's almost ready."

"What did he need help with," I ask him.

"Girl stuff," he tells me.

 _For fuck sakes him too!_

"He told me about your conversation. Having him checking out chicks his own age," I tell him.

"Yeah he was supposed to leave that part out," he laughs.

"Thanks El," I tell him.

"Come on let's eat," he says waving me away.

I watch the twins as we go through dinner. They keep eyeing each other mischievouslly.

"So," I say. "You guys are still going over to mom's Saturday right?"

"Uh huh," Phoebe says.

"Yup," Teddy agrees.

"Cool. Cool," I say trying to sound like I'm not fishing. "So..."

"Nobody's telling so give it up, Bro," Elliot interrupts me and the twins and Kate laugh.

After we put the twins to bed, we call Mia over to help polish off the wine. Soon one bottle leads to three more and by the end of the night the three of them end up sleeping it off in the guest rooms.

…..

I check to make sure the twins are tucked in tight before I head to bed myself.

"You okay, Baby," I answer Ana's call.

"I'm okay," she tells me. "I just wanted to hear your voice before I go to bed."

"You okay," she asks me and I laugh. "I'm just feeling the effects of having too much wine with my siblings. How was...Brandon tonight?"

"The Ramsey's, including Brandon, were great," she tells me.

"Is that right," I say to her, displeased, and she sighs.

"He didn't try anything if that's what you're mad about," she tells me. "In fact he seemed...happy."

"To see you I'm sure," I tell her, unable to hide my jealousy.

"No, not about me," she tells me. "I think he met someone in New York."

"What makes you say that," I ask her.

"Just a feeling," she tells me.

 _Well thank fuck for that!_

...

 **Saturday January 23, 2016**

 **Christian's POV**

I have been waiting for this day all week. I have tried and failed to guess what the twins are up to and for the first time in their lives, they've successfully kept a secret from me.

They left for Jess's yesterday and Ana suddenly has plans, so here I sit, alone on a Saturday evening wondering what the hell I'm supposed to be doing.

I hear Taylor clear his throat.

"Good evening," he says, uncharacteristically sounding like Alfred Hitchcock.

"Taylor…" I start. He interrupts me by handing me a decorated envelope with the words " **To: Dad** " written neatly in black crayon on the front of it.

I open it up, take out the bright blue construction paper, and quickly read it:

 ** _Your presence is requested tonight for Dinner._**

 ** _Love, Teddy and Phoebe._**

I look up at Taylor for more details and he remains stone faced.

"I'm to escort you, Sir, once you are dressed," he tells me. "It is a formal affair."

I hurry to shower and change into my black tux.

As Taylor drives I just have to shake my head. For the first time in a long time I haven't a damn clue as to what is about to happen and to top it off, it all hinges on the planning done by my seven year olds.

I tried to pry it out of Taylor just in case it didn't go right and I could nudge things in the twin's favor, but he assures me they have it all under control.

"Just relax, Sir," he tells me, like he doesn't know who the hell I am. I never relax when things are this uncertain and I have zero control over what's happening.

I catch sight of his eyes in the rearview.

 _Smug bastard is just loving this._

He pulls up at the Space Needle and I take the elevator up to the Sky City Restaurant.

I smile when I see the twins all dressed up and waiting patiently for me.

Teddy is in a blue dress shirt, dark blue vest, and striped blue and white tie, but being him, he had to wear dark blue jeans and sneakers. His brownish red hair is a mess on top of his head just like his old man's is right now. Phoebe is in a pretty cream colored dress with beige leggings and beige and light brown ankle boots.

"Hey guys," I say to them when I join them at the table.

"You look very handsome, Daddy," Phoebe tells me.

"Thanks Babydoll," I tell her. "You two look great. Are you ready to order?"

"Not yet," Teddy tells me. "We still have one more coming."

"Really," I say and he nods.

I'm thinking maybe its Jess.

 _It certainly couldn't be Michelle could it? No it has to be Jess._

"She's here," Phoebe says and I look to where she is starring. I nearly hyperventilate at the sight of her.

She is the epitome of class in a mid-thigh length navy blue dress with matching heels. The long sleeves are adorned with jeweled bracelets at her wrists that bring out the style of the dress perfectly. Her gorgeous mane of hair is curled and falling perfectly around her.

She is escorted over by the waiter smiling when she sees us.

Upon her approach, Teddy and I instinctively stand.

"Hi, Ana," Phoebe waves at her, smiling.

"Hi Phoebe," she says matching her smile.

I go to pull out her chair but Teddy beats me to it.

"Thank you, Teddy," she tells him as she sits down next to him.

"You're welcome, Ms…um…Ana," he tells her.

I am incapable of forming a single word.

My mouth and my brain are on opposite teams right now as I look at the three of them making conversation at the table.

I believe Ana thanks them for inviting her and I'm sure they told her she was welcome.

"Isn't Ana pretty, Daddy," I hear Phoebe say and she goes so far as to nudge me with her little elbow.

"Yeh…yes," I stammer.

 _Get a hold of yourself Grey!_

"You look amazing, Ana," I tell her. "Words fail."

She smiles and winks at me.

"You look very handsome yourself, Christian," she tells me.

I lean forward and kiss her cheek.

I roll my eyes in amusement when the twins snicker.

I clear my throat and open my menu. Everyone else follows suit.

"Order anything you want guys," Teddy says to us and Phoebe nods in confirmation.

Taking my son's advice, I go for the Bering Sea king crab with roasted sweet corn, new potatoes, and basil butter.

Ana orders the prime tenderloin with wild mushroom bacon fondue and bread pudding. The twins both order the cheeseburger with fries and I throw in the fresh fruit.

"A toast," Phoebe says as she holds up her glass of Coke.

Ana and I hold up our wine and Teddy his Mug Root Beer.

"To our first official Grey/Steele Dinner," she says.

"Here, here," Teddy says.

Both of them for all the world remind me of Carrick and Grace Grey at this moment.

Ana is beside herself with amusement as we all clink our glasses and drink.

"So this is what you've been planning all week," I ask them as we eat.

"Uh huh," Phoebe says as she drags a fry through her ketchup.

"And you knew about this," I ask Ana.

"Not until I got the invitation from Anderson after school yesterday," she tells me. "I had strict orders to keep it a surprise for you."

"I can't believe it," I laugh. "So who helped you guys?"

"Ms. Gail helped us make the invitations," Teddy tells me. "And then we asked Auntie Kate and Uncle Elliot to help make the reservations."

"It was very nice of you to include Ana," I tell them, happily.

"Well we couldn't have an official Grey/Steele dinner without her," Phoebe reminds me.

"Very true, Phoebe," I tell her and Ana laughs.

We fall into easy conversation as we watch the skyline change from pinkish purple red to dark as the sunsets.

Teddy whispers something to Ana that makes her giggle and the sight and sound warms my heart. I still can't believe that she is here with me and the twins as my girlfriend on our first official dinner that my kids planned out perfectly no less.

Eventually, the waiter comes and checks on us.

"It's already been taking care of, Mr. Grey," he says to me as he refuses my black AMEX card.

"Your tip," I ask him. "Yes, Sir, it was included as well."

I look over at Teddy and Phoebe and they grin innocently at me.

"They are their father's children," Ana says as she and I ride back to Escala with Taylor.

No way in hell was I saying goodbye to her tonight looking like she does.

Anderson took the twins back to Jess's place for the remainder of the weekend.

"They certainly are," I agree, beaming proudly at the thought of them.

"You seem very happy," she says looking over at me.

"Oh no, Baby," I say taking her hand and kissing the back of it before I rest it with mine in my lap. "I have just had the most amazing surprise dinner with my girl and my kids **together**. I am ecstatic."

She giggles.

"Me too," she says. "The apology card was wonderful enough, but the dinner idea was amazing."

"Do you need anything, Baby," I ask her when we enter the penthouse.

"No, I'm good," she says and I lead her to my bedroom.

"Damn, Baby, you look good," I tell her, holding her at arms length so I may look at her.

"I had help with the dress," she confesses.

"Remind me to send Jose a big bouquet of flowers," I tell her and she laughs.

"Please give him an orchid plant so he'll leave mine alone," she tells me.

"You know I have nothing to wear," she reminds me as I slowly unzip her.

"I'm sure we'll find something around here," I tell her as I nibble on her neck. "That is, if I ever let you out of bed."

...

 **Ana's POV**

I wake up in the middle of the night feeling incredibly warm and unable to move. Christian is wrapped around me like a vine. I turn my head and look at him, his face is angelic as he sleeps.

Hit with a sudden urge to pee, I untangle myself from him, being careful not to wake him, and make my way to the bathroom.

Coming out, I remember a white cami and panty set I left here and I go over to the drawer to get it out and slip it on.

"Baby,"

I jump when I hear Christian's voice as he comes up behind me.

"I don't know why you bothered to put that on," he tells me.

I squeal when he picks me up bridal style and carries me back to bed.

"Aren't you sick of me yet," I ask him.

"Never," he says seriously. "I will never get my fill of you and I always want you."

"Always," I ask him and he nods.

"I .want. you. so. much," he says as he kisses his way up my body.

"Do you want me, Baby," he asks.

"Mhm," I nod.

"Are you wet for me," he asks as he slips his hand into my panties to check for himself.

"I'm always wet for you," I whisper.

* * *

 **A/N: I had to divide the chapter into two parts because they really didn't fit together well at all. I didn't want to go from this sweet moment and then BAM drama all in the same chapter.**

 **Thank you for all of the favoriting, following, pinteresting, reading, and reviewing. I can't say enough how much it is appreciated.**


	42. A Grey Day

**Trigger Warning: Chapter deals with death of a love one and mention of suicide. Of course not in detail but I feel the need to warn those who may not want to read it.**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty-Two**

 **A Grey Day**

 **Wednesday February 3, 2016**

 **Jess's POV**

 _I can do this. I know I can do this. I'll be okay. I_ _ **have**_ _to be okay. It will be okay._

I repeat the mantra over and over again as I stare at myself in the mirror. I've been in intense therapy sessions with Dr. Townsend all week in preparation for today. I've just had a brief one on the phone with her right after ending my call with Grace.

 _"_ _How are you holding up, Dear," she asked me._

 _"_ _I….I don't know," I told her, honestly._

 _"_ _No" she said sadly. "I suppose you have no idea how. You are strong Jessica and this day too shall pass."_

 _"_ _I hope so," I told her as I swallowed the lump in my throat._

 _"_ _What can I do for you," she begged to know. "Cary and I are worried sick about you. We don't want you to feel alone, dear. We are still you're family. We love you so much."_

 _"_ _I know you do," I told her honestly. "And it helps me to know that. It truly does."_

My parents and sister have called to check on me. Elliot, Kate, and Mia have all called to ask if I need anything.

 _"_ _But I'm okay," I told her. "The twins want to go and visit Andy. They have some things they want to say to him. I was going to see if maybe Christian would want to come along."_

 _"_ _Oh, dear," she cried._

 _"_ _What is it," I asked her._

 _"_ _I'm afraid he's shut himself off again," she confessed. "He won't talk to us. I called Taylor and he is also very concerned. He's refusing to eat. He's been up all night playing the piano so he hasn't slept. I'm beside myself."_

 _"_ _I'm sorry Grace," I told her._

 _"_ _No, I shouldn't be burdening you with this today of all days," she told me. "I'm just so glad that you are at least not shutting us all out. Promise me you'll call if you need anything, Jess. It is the only way I'll have any peace of mind today."_

 _"_ _I promise you Grace," I told her._

 _"_ _I love you, dear, take care and kiss the twins for me," she asked me._

 _"_ _I will," I told her. "I love you too and try not to worry so much about Christian, he'll come around."_

 _"_ _I hope so dear," she sighed._

I shake off the hopelessness I heard in her voice and pull myself together. My family needs me and for once I am not going to let them down. I have to keep my family together.

I grab my cell phone and call Gail.

"Jess," she says picking up my call. "You've been in my prayers today."

"Thank you Gail," I tell her. "Grace is worried about Christian. How is he, honestly?"

"Jason and I are worried about him, Jess," she tells me. "He's….like before."

I know exactly what she means.

"I'm coming over," I tell her. "Don't let him know."

"Very good Jess," she tells me.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

Ever since the twins left with Anderson for school this morning, I've been sitting out at Ana's favorite spot on the balcony seeking the familiar solace I feel when we are out here together, but it hasn't come. Looking out at the city below just reminds me of how lonely I am up here by myself.

Leaving the balcony, I wander into my home office only to sit at my desk and stare at the black screen of my computer. I haven't even bothered to turn it on once today.

My phone buzzes and I look down at the latest text from Ana. I slowly read her words.

 **I know you don't want to talk, but I'm here if you need me. I love you.**

I leave it unanswered just like all of the others she's sent me since yesterday when this darkness set in and all attempts of easing this ache I feel in my heart have failed.

My parents have each called to check up on me so have each of my siblings, but, like Ana, their calls went unanswered. David and Kelly left messages of concern and sympathy as well as Ros and Gwen. I am grateful that they remember.

Gail and Taylor have made their presence known but are keeping their distance, giving me the space I need to try and function.

Right now that is about all I can manage to do. Function.

…

The door of my office opens, pulling me out of my head.

"What are you doing here Jess," I ask her looking the time and wondering if I've forgotten the twins.

"Your mother called to check in on me," she tells me. "She's worried about you. She told me you're not taking anyone's calls."

"Obviously I want to be by myself today," I bark at her. "WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU ALL UNDERSTAND THAT!"

"Do **not** yell at me, Christian," Jess barks back. " **Not** today!"

"For fuck sakes, Jess," I sigh guiltily.

"No," she interrupts me. "I am not going to let you do this shit again. I am not going to let you sit here and push everyone away. You are not going to sit here and do this to us again!"

"What the hell do you want from me," I ask her.

"I want you to talk to your parents, your brother and sister, your girlfriend, your goddamn kids," she says. "You still have two left Christian and they need you."

"That is really something coming from you," I bite back at her and immediately regret it. She looks like I've just punched her in the gut.

"Jess…" I start to apologize.

"Don't," she says turning to leave and I go after her.

"Jess, I'm sorry," I stop her in the great room. "I didn't mean that."

"I was a horrible mother to the twins for a very long time after we lost him," she tells me. "And I thank God everyday that they had you to take care of them."

"I shut down," I tell her. "I left you alone…"

"You pulled yourself out and you helped us when we needed you to," she tells me. "Now it's my turn to return the favor…"

"Just let me be, Jess," I tell her.

"No," she tells me. "I won't make that mistake again. I won't leave you here to your misery. The price is too high this time. You can lose everything you've worked so hard to get back."

"It's what I deserve," I tell her.

"If we are going to start talking about what we deserve and placing blame today, I may as well get a knife and cut open every artery in my body," she tells me. "I would rather die than live with it all."

"Don't fucking say that Jess," I spit at her. "Don't you ever fucking say that again."

"I am hurting too! I am his mother," she yells. "He was inside of **me**. **I** gave birth to him today!"

"I know," I tell her.

"And what about what everyone else deserves," she asks me. "What about your family, especially the twins, they miss their little brother so much!"

"God," I run my fingers through my hair. "I KNOW! I know Jess! I am trying to snap out of it. I want to be here for you and the kids, but I can't! I just fucking can't. All I can think about is my little boy's birthday..."

"Stop it, Christian," she tells me.

"No," I counter. "We should be celebrating. We should be at my parent's house with clowns and jumpers and trains. He should be having his first taste of birthday cake and opening up his presents. But where is he Jess? Huh?"

"Stop it," she cries.

"He is in a fucking cold ass cemetery…."

"STOP," she yells as she collapses to her knees. "My beautiful little boy. I'm so sorry Christian."

"Me too," I say holding her as we cry.

…..

We stay holding each other on the floor of the great room for God knows how long before we calm down enough to move.

I help her up and give her my handkerchief to dry her face.

"I'm going to go get the twins early from school," she says. "They want to go with me to see Andy. They have cards and I'll stop and let them pick out some things to….. put on his… his grave."

I nod as she tries not to cry again.

"We need you to be there with us," she tells me.

"I can't," I tell her. "I….I can't."

"You've yet to visit his grave, Christian," she reminds me.

I haven't been there since the day I watched them lower my sweet little boy into the ground and I have no intention of ever going back to that Godforsaken place. My little boy isn't there, not the heart and soul of who he is. For my own sanity, I have to believe that he isn't there.

I feel him here. **This** is where he lived. **This** is where he was loved.

"We can do that here," I tell her and she shakes her head no.

"It has to be there," she says. "It's important."

I shake my head again.

"We'll wait for you by the entrance so we can all walk over to him together," she tells me as she steps into the elevator. "Please Christian. It will help you to heal. Come and celebrate his birthday with us."

…

 _Two Hours Later_

I take a deep breath as I park the R8. Taylor wanted to drive me, but I insisted on coming here alone.

I spot Jess sitting on a bench waiting. I know she now knows I'm here. It is evident on her face as she looks pleased to see me. She takes out a book from her bag and thumbs through to the pages as she waits for me to come over.

The twins are behind her examining the different types of decorative rocks that adorn the grounds. The sight of them each holding a birthday balloon and a stuff animal for their brother, nearly makes me break down again.

I sit and watch them for a good ten minutes before I am able to exit my car and walk over to them.

The twins call out to me in happy surprise and I force a smile at them.

Jess lifts her head up from the journal she's been writing in and watches as I approach. I sit down next to her on the bench.

"What are you writing," I ask her and she shrugs while shaking her head, not wanting to answer me.

"Thank you for coming," she tells me and I nod.

"I hope you're right about this Jess," I tell her.

"I believe I am," she tells me. "It is long overdue."

"Well let's get it over with then," I tell her.

She nods, puts her journal away, and gathers the twins.

I watch the two of them as they walk ahead of us just out of ear shot. This is no place for kids. It certainly isn't a place for our son, but here he is none the less. How fair is that? How very wrong this world is to let things like this happen.

"Are you okay," I ask Jess as she slows her pace.

"I…I guess so," she says and stops walking all together. "I don't know, maybe not."

"We can do this," I tell her taking her hand and moving her forward.

I feel the tightening in my chest as we reach his head stone.

Teddy stands next to his mother holding her hand while Phoebe stands next to him holding mine.

I look down at the shiny dark gray stone that has a little angel etched in the middle next to a color picture of our little guy taken a few weeks before he died.

I silently read his name.

"Happy birthday, Baby Andy," I hear Phoebe say as she steps forward to get close to Andy.

Her little voice is like a lifesaver thrown out to me in the deep sea I'm drowning in, so I grab it and hold on tight.

"Happy Birthday, Bro," Teddy tells him and I can't help but laugh as my heart breaks.

I take a step back and lean on some saint's monument in an effort not to crumble to my knees as I watch as them talk to their brother.

Jess reaches for my hand trying to do the same and I take hold hoping to give her the strength she needs.

"We got you presents," Teddy says to him.

They place the bears they got from what looks like the Build- A -Bear Workshop next to his name.

The bears they chose match their personalities to a tee.

Practical Teddy gives him a teddy bear that is dressed in a tigger outfit so it is actually two bears in one while a sensitive Phoebe's bear is dressed in a red woolen cap, red sweater, and blue knit pants in an effort to keep him warm through the chilly nights.

They read the birthday cards they made for him, but as they try to put them down, they begin to blow in the breeze.

"I have an idea," I tell them.

Jess and I take the cards and roll them up. We tie them to the strings of the balloons and give them back to the twins.

They let the balloons go and watch as they carry their cards up to their brother with big grins on their faces.

The twins and I wait as Jess makes her peace with our son.

"Go talk to Andy, Daddy," Phoebe says as her mother makes her way back over to us.

I take a deep breath and walk over to Andy.

"Happy birthday, Son," I whisper to him. My throat is so full of emotion, I have to clear it before I continue. "I know I haven't been here…. I carry you in my heart and you are never far from my thoughts. I would give anything for you to be here having fun on your first birthday with your brother and sister. We all miss and love you so much, Son, so very much."

I place a kiss on my fingers and touch his first name before I head back to my waiting family.

The twins invite me to have ice cream with them at Baskin Robbins and I agree to go. Not wanting to make the drive alone, I let Anderson drive the R8 while I drive Jess and the twins in his SUV.

We all order our favorite flavors and sit at a table in the corner.

We make light conversation and I find myself laughing at the twin's antics as they try to steal some of each other's ice cream.

"Are you guys feeling better," Teddy ask Jess and I.

"Much better," Jess says and I nod in agreement.

"The three of you have made this a very special day for Andy," I tell them.

"Thank you Jess," I tell her when the twins go back to their ice cream. "I know it wasn't easy for you today and I didn't help make it any better..."

"You did," she tells me. "You joined us. You made sure that we didn't lose you too."

…

I let Teddy spend the night with Jess. He didn't voice it but I know he is worried about her and wants to be close to her right now.

Phoebe wanted to come home with me. She and I have a Daddy/Daughter dinner and watch Frozen before she goes off to bed. I read her a story and tuck her in tight before I kiss her goodnight, thanking God that I have her and her brother.

I head to my office to make my phone calls. I spend a few minutes returning the calls of everyone that reached out to me today.

I spent a good twenty minutes getting chewed out by Elliot for shutting him and the family out.

I got in a few I'm sorrys between his "What the hell Bro, I know you're hurting, but damnit we love yous," and his "what a dick move making mom crys," before he settled down enough to ask if I was really okay.

I spent equal time talking to mom and reassuring her that I was indeed okay and I wasn't going to shut down and shut everyone out again.

My final call is to Ana. I feel like complete shit for not letting her in these last two days.

I sigh when the call goes to voicemail and I'm sure I'm feeling exactly the way she did when she wanted to talk to me but couldn't.

"Baby, I'm so sorry, I haven't answered you," I tell her after I hear the peep. "I know you're probably pissed at me and you have every right to be. I can't come to you like I want to because Phoebe is here with me, but….I love you so much, Ana and I'm sorry."

I hang up the phone and hope it was enough to get back in to her good graces again.

Not getting a response, I head off to my room to shower and change before I try her again.

I dry off, put on a pair of pajama pants, and call Ana.

"Hey, Baby," I start when I hear the beep of her voicemail, but hang up when I hear a knock on the door.

I frown at why Phoebe is choosing to knock all of a sudden when she usually comes right in.

"Hi," she says as she stands in the doorway.

"Baby," I say to her as I pull her into my arms.

"I know you want to be alone, but I had to come and…." She starts and I stop her by pressing my lips to hers.

"I'm so glad you're here," I tell her. "I'm sorry."

I go and get the pjs she left over, strip her of her skirt and blouse, and slip them on.

"I love you," I tell her as I leave a trail of kisses on her neck.

"I love you too," she whispers in my ear.

….

"I'm so glad you're here," I tell her as she lays cuddled up with her head on my chest

"I wanted to give you space, but after I got your message, I couldn't stay away," she tells me. "Are you at least a little okay now?"

"I'm better than I was," I tell her. "Jess came by and we talked. We took the twins to visit their brother."

She nods her head as she sits up.

The look on her face lets me know I've hurt her.

"Ana..." I start.

"No, its fine," she says.

"Cleary it's not," I tell her. "Talk to me."

She laughs sardonically at my words. She's been trying to get me to talk to her since yesterday.

"Anything I say right now would come out wrong," she tells me. "I don't want to sound like a jealous girlfriend about this. It's petty under the circumstances."

"Your feelings aren't petty," I tell her.

"I understand why you would talk to Jess," she tells me. "You and her share in the loss of your son. I just wish you would have let me in a little."

"I couldn't," I tell her.

"But you could with Jess," she asks me.

"It didn't matter with her like it does with you," I tell her.

"Why," she asks.

"Ana, I couldn't let you see me that way," I tell her. "I couldn't let you see me so broken. I never want to be a broken man in your eyes Ana. That would destroy me."

"Christian Grey," she says my name in angry frustration. She cups my face and forces me to look at her. "You are not nor will you **ever** be broken in my eyes. You are a man that is morning the loss of his son. Please don't shut me out when you're hurting. Leaning on each other is what will make us stronger."

I nod and pull her into my arms once again.

I lay awake for hours after she has fallen asleep playing in her hair and enjoying the feel of her in my arms.

"I'm such an idiot," I whisper to her. "I'll never shut you out again, Baby."

"Better not if you like being attached to your thingy," she groggily gives me a threat. Her head bobs up and down on my chest as I laugh at her calling my dick a thingy and actually threatening to cut it off.

"I **do** like being attached to it," I tell her. "So I promise I won't."

I kiss the side of her head and bury my nose in her hair.

"Go back to sleep, Baby," I tell her.

…

The light of the predawn hour comes shining into the window and wakes me.

I open my eyes to a sight that nearly burst my heart wide open with love.

Phoebe has somehow managed to snuggle in between Ana and I sometime during the night. Ana is now holding her as she sleeps peacefully in her arms.

I get up, close the shades to stave off the new day, and get back in bed. I cuddle up next to my girls while we sleep for a few more hours.

….

I wake up alone to the sound of my alarm. The smell of pancakes and bacon frying makes me smile.

"Good morning," Ana says coming into the room carrying her overnight bag. "Gail has made breakfast."

"Where's Phoebe," I ask her as she leans down to kiss me.

"Getting ready for school," she tells me. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I slept great," I tell her, honestly, "next to my two favorite girls."

"Phoebe is a great sleeping pill," she tells me.

"Oh I have to disagree, Baby," I tell her.

She yelps when I grab hold of her and pull her down on the bed.

"You are the best damn sleeping pill I've ever had," I tell her.

She squirms to get away from me as I hold on to her.

She giggles uncontrollably as I tickle her.

"And that is the best damn sound in the world," I say kissing her.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 ***I know this chapter came out of left field but it was time for Andy's first birthday and I couldn't let that milestone slide by. And yes, it needed to be about Jess, Christian and the kids.**

 ***Now, for those of you complaining that there is too much sex, you might want to skip the next update because it's Valentine's Day, Baby! Chock full of romantic dates and S.E.X.**

 **Everybody's doing it! (I mean going out on dates) I know some of you were thinking orgy. lol**

 **Oooo question and comments:**

 **Do we get to see Christian and Frank jamming together? Yes it is coming up soon as well as the Grey dinner. The Dads will be making a trek to Seattle.**

 **Was Jess in on the dinner? Did it hurt her? Yes she was in on it and yes it did hurt her. It is a hard pill for her to swallow, but she is accepting of A and C's relationship as some of you have said. She is not going to go and boil poor Wilfred. Trivia: does anyone know where that reference came from? It's actually a rabbit that was boiled.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	43. Super Valentine's Day Man

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty-Three**

 **Super Valentine's Day Man **

_One Week Later_

 **Friday, February 12, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

Today was just a fun day for the class. We spent most of the time at the school's valentine's day dance and the rest having a little party of our own and watching movies.

Earlier in the week, the students brought in empty cereal boxes to make Valentine's Day Card holders that they've now tied on the back of their chairs. The day is almost over, so they are busy filling up each other's boxes with Valentine cards and candy.

I try not to notice as Teddy gives the special valentine he bought from the hallmark store for Michelle. Christian ranted on the phone for a good hour about how he's only seven years old and he shouldn't be thinking about girlfriends. Of course that was just to cover up the fact that he was really mad that phoebe tagged along to pick up one for her boyfriend, Zack.

The cards were a success as each one got a special card and a kiss on the cheek for their efforts. I dare not tell Christian about the cheek kiss if I want to have any peace this weekend.

I dismiss the class and tell Sandy to have a great weekend as she rushes out. She's going away to Cancun and I am totally jealous.

Just like every day this week, the twins wait with me until they are picked up by Anderson and Mrs. Beachum.

"Ana," Phoebe says my first name, excited as she comes to sit down next to me and Teddy at my desk. "Zack calls me Pretty Girl."

"Ewww," Teddy says and she licks her tongue out at him.

"You are a pretty girl, Phoebe," I tell her. "Brothers won't tell sisters that, but I'm sure Teddy thinks you're pretty."

"Nu huh," Teddy says in true brother fashion. "You should see her when she gets up in the morning." He shows me how she looks by pulling his hair so it is now sticking up in every direction. "Her breath smells like dog butt."

"Theodore Grey," I squeal out in humored shock and mock chastisement. "What an awful thing to say about your sister."

He covers his face to hide his laugh

"He gave me a card that says I'm awesome just like him," Phoebe tells me, proudly.

"See," I tell him. "Now that is very nice, Teddy."

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean she's pretty," he corrects us.

"I know you love me," Phoebe teases him, taking his head roughly in her hands and kissing his cheek."

He whines in protest and makes a face about it, but makes no attempt to stop her.

"Hey, guys." Anderson says opening the door, "Miss. Steele."

"Hi, Anderson," I greet him.

The twins gather up their things. Teddy gives me my hug and Phoebe waves goodbye as I tell them to have a fun weekend with their mom.

I text Christian that I'll be leaving in about thirty minutes to head home and pack for the weekend.

I gather all my things, including the all the cards my students got me.

I am about to grab my bag when the door opens.

I look over to see Larry standing there.

 _Crap!_

"Hey Ana," he says to me as he comes in, "need some help?"

"No its only a few cards," I tell him.

I grab my bag and quickly walk out of the empty classroom into the corridor and toward the field. He is hot on my heels.

"Nice weekend planned," he asks me.

"Uh, yeah," I tell him. "Valentine's Day and all."

"You and Christian Grey," he asks me.

"Yes," I tell him.

"I thought you didn't date," he reminds me.

"We're not dating," I correct him.

"So, he's your boyfriend now," he asks me.

"Yes, he is, Larry" I tell him. "He is my boyfriend. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Ohhh, I don't know, I guess money talks," he fake laughs.

"And bull shit walks," I say under my breath.

"What was that," he asks me.

"I said I need to walk faster," I tell him picking up my pace while I hit the speed dial for Christian. "Bye, Larry."

The phone rings and I will him to pick up sooner rather than later. He does on the second ring.

"Hey, Baby," he answers my call.

"Hi," I say looking behind me. Larry is standing there where I left him watching me walk. "Did you…uh…. get my message?"

There is a pause and I know he is looking at the message on his phone.

"Sorry, Baby," he says. "I've been held up in meetings."

"That's fine," I tell him as I make it to my car.

"You okay? You seem out of breath," he tells me.

"Just a long walk to my car," I tell him.

"I don't know why you won't just ride with the twins," he tells me.

"You know why," I tell him as I get in the car and lock the doors.

"Doesn't mean I have to like it," he tells me.

"I'll let you work," I say to him starting my car and backing out. "Have fun in class tonight teach. And watch out for the boobie blondes."

He laughs at my teasing.

"Alright, I love you Baby," he tells me.

"Love you," I tell him right back.

….

I get home with just enough time to shower and change. Char wants me to come with her to pick out a gift for her boyfriend Gus. Since Derrick had to go to Spokane, Jose is coming with us.

"Gurl are you ready," Jose says when I let him into my apartment, looking miserable without his other half and carrying a garment bag.

"Just waiting on Char," I tell him.

"That bitch has no concept of time," he says.

"Tell me about it," I agree. "Is that my red dress?"

"No,no,no,no," he scolds me. "We DO NOT wear RED on Valentine's day."

"What," I say surprised, "Why not it's cute?"

"Its cliché is what is," he frowns. "Everyone and their grandmother will be wearing red. **You** , my love, will be in….Classic…..Black."

He whispers the last two words, blinging them with spirit fingers.

"Save the red for the lingerie, okay," he tells me.

He takes the bag in my room and examines what I've already packed for the weekend.

"The man told you to dress warm," he says eyeing the clothes and smiling in approval. "Between these outfits and the beauty treatment you are going to get at the spa tomorrow, you are going to put that poor man in the hospital, okay."

I sigh, worried.

"But I don't know about my gift," I tell him.

"It is a beautiful gift," he assures me.

"It's not too narcissistic," I ask him. "Maybe I should give him something else to go along with it just in case."

"No, you will do no such thing," he tells me. "It is a beautiful gift and he will love it."

"Bout damn time," he says when we hear Char knock.

….

"I don't know why you didn't just raid Ana's drawer," Jose teases me as we browse around in the sex store near downtown, looking for the perfect gift for Gus.

This one is actually sticking around. We have bets on how long. So far Derrick and I are neck and neck, but he'll be out of the running on Sunday, then it will just be me and Brandon.

"Jose," I say hitting his arm.

"Ana has toys," Char says shocked.

"A cornucopia, honey," he tells her. "She bought a whole shelve full."

"Go Ana," she says as she loads up her hand held basket.

Jose and I look at each other in question.

He reaches in and picks up a red paddle with the word "SLUT" written backwards in black bold lettering and holds it up to her in question.

"Oh yeah," she says. "We are into that."

"Get the fuck out," he says.

"What," I say as it goes over my head, "into what?"

"BDSM," she says.

I look at Jose and he raises both eyebrows.

"No wonder he's sticking around," he says.

"You really get off on that," I ask her and she nods.

"When he first told me, I thought no way in hell, right," she says and I nod. "But then we started doing it and now…I'm hooked."

I look around to make sure no one is nearby, but we are really the only ones here.

"Does he make you crawl around with a collar on and lick milk out of bowls?" I whisper anyway.

"Someone has been watching way too many Madonna videos," Jose laughs. "Not that I blame you. I love me some Madonna…"

"Jose," I shush him before he gets started on his obsession with Madonna.

"Well we don't do **that** ," she tells me. "It's all about the parts of it that you are into. But, I mean, yeah."

"Nothing wrong with it," Jose says. "Ricky and I are into kink too."

"Oh God," I say. "How did we get into this conversation?"

"Do you mean to tell us The Man, Mr. Dominate Personality GEA, is not into something," Jose asks me.

"What," I squeal a little too loud. "He doesn't have a dominate personality and no. No he's not…into… **that** , no way!"

"Oh he does, he just hides it well," Jose says. "And Gurl you are protesting too much, so spill it."

"Okay, well, maybe just this one thing. He… uh," I start and stop to look around. Jose and Char follow suit as they move closer to me. "He likes to…uh...spank me…when we…ya know."

"I knew it," Jose yells, making Char and I jump. "Kinky as hell!"

"Oh Oh Oh Oh," he says as he pulls me over to an assortment of toys for spanking.

"You have got to be kidding," I tell him as I look them over.

"Get this," Char says as she gives me a little black leather mini riding crop. "It's great for when he's got you from behind and he wants to smack that ass."

She starts gyrating while she smacks an imaginary ass. Jose laughs as I turn beet red.

"Okay, we are done," I say putting it back and walking out of the store embarrassed.

...

"I cannot believe the two of you," I tell them as I pull the car into traffic.

"Oh we just forget it's all new to you," Char says as she looks at her purchases.

"I'm hungry," Jose complains from the back seat. "And I have to drain my Wessel."

"My God," Char says with disdain. "He is so going to embarrass us at the spa tomorrow, with Mia and Kate no less. We cannot take him anywhere. Doesn't Derrick ever feed your ass?"

"Oh my Gawd you're such a fucking bitch, Char," Jose tells her.

I roll my eyes at their arguing as we pull into Arby's to get him a roast beef sandwich.

….

"Baby," I hear Christian's voice pulling me out of my sleep.

He always wakes me before getting into my bed when I don't know he's in the apartment so he doesn't scare me.

"Hi," I manage to say before falling asleep again.

I feel the bed dip as he gets in behind me. I sigh contently when he wraps his arm around me and kisses my shoulder. I want to talk to him, but I'm too tired.

"Sleep, Baby," He whispers to me.

...

 **Saturday February 13, 2016**

"Good morning, Beautiful," Christian says as I open my eyes to his smiling face.

"Morning," I whisper to him. "What a nice surprise last night."

"I didn't see the point in sleeping alone," he tells me, "and I wanted to make you your pre-Valentine's Day breakfast."

"Really," I say excited, getting up.

"No you don't," he says to me. "You lay right there. I'm serving you in bed this morning."

He reaches over and hands me the remote to the TV with the strict order to lay back and relax.

"Alright, Mr. Dominate Personality," I tease him. I'm about to tell him about his new moniker when he looks at me and smirks.

"Damn right," he says as he smacks me on ass.

He leaves me with my mouth wide open in surprise.

When he leaves, I threaten Jose and Derrick with their lives if they dare come over and interrupt us this morning.

"You cold," Jose says when I pick up his call.

"Tell her she ice cold," I here Derrick in the background.

"Ricky says you ice cold, Ana," Jose delivers the message. "We want a GEA breakfast! Just slide a plate out the door."

"No way, it's all mine," I tell him. "Happy Pre-Valentine's Day!"

" **Pre** -Valentine's," Jose repeats. "YOU BITCH! I HATE YOU! Ricky, I want a pre-Valentine's Day!"

"A what," I hear Derrick say, confused.

"Have fun gurl," Jose says to me and hangs up.

I dissolve into a giggle fit thinking about poor Derrick right now as I turn on the TV.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

I go into Ana's kitchen and prepare her a breakfast of pancakes and with fresh strawberries. I whip up the batter and take out the heart shape skillet Gail packed for me. I slice up the strawberries Ryan brought over early this morning from the farmer's market and make sure they are sweet enough for Ana's liking.

I go over the plans I've made for us for tonight and tomorrow, checking off items on the list I have in my head.

I want this weekend to be special for us. There is no better time or day to show her how much I love her than Valentine's Day.

"Why the hell are you calling me this early in the damn morning," I ask my brother as I watch to make sure I don't overdo it with the pancakes.

"I'm just calling to offer my sexpertise on how to make it good for your girl," he teases. "Now you know our chicks are going to start blabbing their mouths on this spa day, so you need to do it right, like right now. I don't want you to get embarrassed later on when Ana finds out what a stud I am from Kate."

"Fuck you, El," I tell him. "Better yet, go fuck Katie."

"Hey them's fighting words," he threatens me. "Mom wants the code to your office at the Mile High. She has dad's gift in there."

 _Shit I forgot about that._

"Why the hell didn't **she** call me," I ask him.

"Who the hell knows why the women in our lives do what they do," he says in frustration. "Katie found her gift, opened it, and then tried to re-wrap it like I couldn't tell it wasn't the same damn paper I wrapped it with."

"I'll text Mom the code," I tell him. "I can't believe they still celebrate Valentine's Day."

"Fuck, Bro, I'm surprise we are not scarred for life listening to all that banging they were doing. Every damn year! You'd think they would get a room somewhere and leave us with a sitter or some shit. Mom still doesn't know we heard everything. Dad would kill us if we ever told her."

I try to shake off the memory.

"Shit," I yell when I nearly mess up the heart shape of the pancake.

"What the fuck are you doing," He asks me.

"Making Ana breakfast," I tell him before thinking it through.

"Damn, bro," he says in dead pan humor. "Her purse must be awful heavy with your big balls in it."

"Why thank you **little** bro," I counter when he admits my balls are big and heavy.

"Fucking hell," he says, realizing his mistake.

"Laters," I tell him.

"My ass," he tells me and I laugh.

"You make it too easy, El," I tell him and hang up.

I do a dick move and send Kate a picture of the breakfast I made for Ana. I smirk when I read the text from Elliot.

 **You are soooo going to pay for that little brother.**

 **...**

I enter the bedroom with the Ana's breakfast tray to find her busy relaxing. I smile at the sight of her channel surfing as she lays on her back with her cute little feet crossed at the ankles.

"Breakfast is served, Baby," I tell her.

"Yayyy," she says as she turns off the TV and scoots up so that her back is resting on her head board.

I sit trying to eat and not focus on her moaning as she enjoys her pancakes with strawberries, and bacon a bit too much. She rewards me with a kiss for making her tea just the way she likes it.

"I can get use to this spoiling," she says when I return from clearing the dishes.

"That's the plan, Baby," I tell her as I hop back in bed and cuddle up with her.

She giggles.

"What is it," I ask her.

"This is the first real valentine's day I've had," she tells me. "With a guy I love, I mean."

"I know," I tell her. I never cared much about the day. I always did the traditional candy and flowers, but now I am looking forward to what I have planned for her. "I want to make it perfect for you."

"This is perfect," she says as we hold each other tighter.

I hear her sigh and I know that she is fighting going back to sleep. If I don't get us up and moving, we'll both soon be knocked out for the rest of the day.

"Come on let's get dress so you can go," I tell her and she reluctantly agrees.

…..

"You packed everything, Baby," I ask her, as I give Ryan her bags to take down to the SUV.

"I think so," she says as she worries.

"As long as you have what you need to stay over with me at Escala it will be fine," I tell her.

"Okay, I'm good then," she tells me.

"Good," I say to her as I open the door when I hear what I'm sure is Jose knocking.

"Have fun," I tell her, giving her a kiss. "And don't let them cut off your hair."

"I won't," she reassures me.

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Mmhmm, I knew he was a hair man," Jose says after Christian leaves.

"Will you shut up about that," I tell him. "Don't you dare say a word when we are at the spa."

"My lips are tighter than a Nun's coochie," he assures me.

"Oh for the love of God," I groan.

"Amen, honey," he says.

"That's **not** what I meant! Let's just go," I shoo him out the door.

…

 **Christian's POV**

"All right, what is the emergency," I say as I walk into Dad's study to find him and Elliot sitting there. I have a million things to do before Ana gets back from the spa.

"You, Bro," Elliot tells me. "You need to calm your ass down."

"What are you talking about," I ask him. "What did I do now?"

"You are not giving us regular guys a chance," he tells me.

"What the hell are you talking about Elliot," I ask him again.

"Kate's dander is up," he says. "She is busting my balls 'cause Ana got a homemade breakfast this morning when all she got was a McGriddle from McDonalds."

He says that last part in Kate's voice.

"Now I'm under pressure," he continues. "I have to up my game or else I'll never live it down. She is probably picking Ana's brain right now to find out what else you have planned so they can compare notes."

"How is this my fault," I ask him.

"It is when you go crazy like this," he tells me. "You never gave a rat's ass about this day and now your Super Valentine's Day Man on steroids."

"Dad," I say trying to get some support. "Can you believe this?"

"Well, Son..." he starts.

"Not you too," I ask him.

"Kate sent the picture of that little breakfast you made to Mia and she let your mother see it…." he starts.

"Oh come on," I say to them.

"Well of course she fawned all over it," he continues. "Then she started giving me the stink eye, saying how I need to do stuff like that for her."

"You are killing us here Christian," Elliot groans.

"Well just listen to the two of you," Mia says coming into the room. "Have you both really gotten this lazy in your relationships? Are you really going to let your youngest son and your little brother out do you?"

"You tell them, Sis," I encourage her.

"To make Christian feel bad for showing the woman he loves just how much he loves her is shameful," she continues while I smirk at Dad and El as they look fully chastised. "I suggest you two get with Christian's program, because Mom and Kate vowed not to give it up for a solid week if you come with your cheap box of thrift store chocolates and tacky looking lingerie this year."

"Aw come on," Elliot groans. "A whole week!"

"Well what the hell do they want Mia," my dad asks her, perplexed.

"Romance," she says, not believing they are so dense.

"Alright," Dad says pounding his fist on his desk in conviction. "Then we'll give it to them."

"I'd like to see this," Elliot tells him. Romance has never been Dad's strong suit.

"Well let's put our money where our mouth is," he tells Elliot. "Whichever wife brags the best wins and that wife gets a breakfast cooked by her husband for a week."

"Brag to whom," Elliot asks.

"Me of course," Mia says.

"Deal," Elliot says.

"Oh this is so exciting, I can't wait," she says to all of us as she leaves. "I'm off to the spa."

"Great, now it's all settled," I tell them, turning to leave. "Can I go now?"

"Aren't you going to help us plan," Dad says.

"Not in the least," I tell him. "I've got my own girl to impress."

"He's left the man circle, Dad," I hear El say as I walk out.

"Let your brother alone," Dad tells him. "It does me good to see him so happy."

…..

 **Ana's POV**

"Maybe I should dye my hair blonde," I tell Kate as she, Mia, and I sit together in the spa chairs getting pedicures. Jose is off getting his man parts waxed for Derrick and Char is doing the same with her girl parts for Gus. "Or maybe red, since brown hair is so blah."

"Are you kidding me," she says. "You have terrific hair. I wish I had your hair."

"And my brother loves your hair," Mia says as she stops flipping through her magazine.

"He does," I say surprised.

"It's one of the first things he noticed about you," she tells me. "Right after your ass, that is."

"Mia," Kate calls for her to stop talking.

"When did he notice my ass," I nudge her to keep going and that is all the incentive she needs.

"When you were walking to class in front of him that first night," she tells me.

I didn't know he was even behind me.

"You really threw him off his game," she tells me.

"She still does," Kate laughs.

"I don't think I do," I tell them.

"You do," Kate says.

"How can you tell," I ask her.

"You have him wrapped around your little finger," Kate says.

I shake my head no.

"The way he coddles you," Kate says.

"He pets you," Mia adds.

"He made your plate at Christmas," Kate says and I laugh at the memory or him absentmindedly serving me.

"He stares all googly eyed at you," Mia finishes.

"Like Prince Charming," Kate says laughing and Mia giggles.

"Seriously though, Ana," Mia says. "You make my brother very happy."

"He makes me happy too," I tell them, trying not to split my face open with my grin.

...

"So what did El get you, Kate," Mia asks her.

"Cupless and crotchless lingerie," Kate complains.

"Oh you have got to be kidding," Mia asks her. "I knew that's what it was."

"Yup, same as last year," Kate says. "So I returned it and got some flannels. I re-wrapped it so he'll never know. He is going to be surprised when I open it."

"What about you Ana," Mia asks me.

"I don't know," I tell them. "Christian wants it to be a surprise."

"Awww," Kate coos.

"Oh my poor brother," Mia says. "He and Dad are going to have to bring their A-game to top Christian."

"What do you mean," Kate asks eyeing her.

"Oh nothing," Mia says going back to her magazine.

"Spit it out, Mia," Kate tells her.

"I can't," she says. "I am sworn to secrecy….oh, okay I'll tell you."

Kate and I laugh.

…..

Ryan dropped me off at Christian's an hour ago. He text to let me know he'll be here shortly and that I should wear my dress tonight.

So here I stand looking at myself in the mirror.

My hair is hanging straight and the ends are trimmed to perfection, my toes, hands, and lips are painted a gorgeous shade of red, and my floor length black dress with a sexy spilt all the way up the side is hugging me in all the right places.

I smile at myself because I know I'm looking good. Dare do I say, I'm even looking sexy.

"Yes, you are looking sexy, Ana," I tell my reflection as I start to dance in the mirror. I wave my arms over my head and shake my hips dramatically as I move my bare feet.

"Yes, you certainly are," Christian says coming in and I stop mid hip swing.

I bite my lip to keep from laughing at the fact that I'm sure I've just made an absolute fool of myself in front of him.

"I love watching you move, Baby," he says to me and I know he can't possibly be serious.

Sensing my doubt, he comes up behind me and circles my waist.

"You are one beautiful woman, Anastasia, and you're all mine," he whispers at my reflection in the mirror with his lips and nose in my hair.

I smile in spite of myself.

"You keep moving like that and I'm just going to take you right here," he warns me. "And all of our plans for tonight will be ruined."

"I wouldn't want that, as handsome as you look right now," I tell him as I turn in his arms to straighten the bow tie of his black tux.

"You look amazing," he says kissing my cheek.

"Tantalizing, "he says kissing my other cheek.

"And very very sexy," he says kissing my neck. The sensation of his lips on my skin shoots straight down all the way to my toes.

I don't know how long I'm going to be able to resist taking **him**.

He yanks his head back to look at me.

"Naughty girl," he smirks at me and I laugh.

…

"Wow," I say as Ryan holds open the door for us to get into the jet black limousine. "You've gone all out."

"Nothing's too good for you, Baby," he teases me.

"And you still won't tell me where we are going," I ask him and he shakes his head.

"Just to show you off," he tells me and I shake my head at him.

…

The limo comes to a stop after about a twenty minute drive. Ryan opens the door to let Christian out and then he comes around to help me. I take his hand as I maneuver out of the limo in my dress.

"Oh my God," I whisper as I get a look my surroundings. We are parked in front of a hotel that has more stars in its rating than the universe could hold.

The huge beige ten story building with its perfectly landscaped grounds just screams opulence. Suddenly I'm feeling under dressed.

"Christian, I don't know…" I start.

"I do," he tells me. "This place was made for you. Come on."

I take his arm as he leads me into the extravagant hotel.

"Welcome, Mr. Grey, Miss. Steele," the maitre d greets us pleasantly. "I'll escort you to your table."

I know I am imagining it, but I feel everyone's eyes are on us as we walk through the restaurant.

 _Please don't trip on your dress Ana. Please don't fall in your heels._

Is all I keep begging of myself.

I look over at Christian as he chuckles my way and smile because I know he knows my thoughts.

He places his hand on the small of my back to guide me and the feel of his warm hand is just what I needed.

We are seated in a glass enclosed terrace. Our table is romantically decorated with soft white linen, candles and freshly cut flowers. A beautiful bouquet of roses is placed at my table setting.

"Thank you," I say as the Maitre d helps me to sit down.

"Shall I start you off with something to drink," he asks Christian as he hands him what I'm guessing is a wine list.

I admire my flowers as Christian looks over the wine list.

I have no idea what European words he starts rattling off but he is so in his element that I can't help but stare at him.

 _He is so turning me on right now._

I shake my head at my thoughts and I tear my eyes away from him to look at the view. Our table is in close proximity to the edge so that we have the best view. The surrounding glass is so clear, I want to reach out and touch it to make sure it's there.

"How does that sound," Christian asks me.

"Delicious," I say tuning back in to him.

He smirks at me as the maitre d takes our menus knowing that I wasn't paying attention enough to have a clue as to what he ordered.

"What did you order for me," I ask him when we are alone.

"Escargot," he says seriously and my face falls so quickly that he laughs. "I'm joking. I ordered a Kobe beef filet with potatoes and black truffles and a red wine."

"Okay," I breathe in relief as I look around and out again at the view. "This place is amazing. Thank you, Christian."

"It's only the beginning," he tells me as he runs a finger over the top of my hand.

He was about to say something when we are interrupted by our food being brought over.

"Mmmm," I say as I taste my first forkful of the succulent beef. I catch myself when I see Christian watching me.

"You are killing me over here, Baby," he tells me.

"Sorry," I giggle.

….

After dinner, he leads me through to the lobby. I assumed we were leaving but instead he turns towards the elevators.

"You got us a room," I ask him and he winks at me.

 _He actually winked._

We stand in silence as the numbers climb. I bite my lip to keep from laughing as his breathing picks up and he shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"You are so lucky there are fucking cameras in here," he tells me as he adjusts himself.

Unable to hold it in, I laugh as he grabs my hand and hauls me out of the elevator down the hall to our suite.

"Oh my God," I whisper, catching my breath when he moves aside to let me get my first view of our room.

* * *

 **A/N: Oops no sex in this part. But part 2 of this will be up soon.**

 **Most, if not all of you got the Fatal Attraction reference.**

 **And some of you had some questions about the timeline.**

 ***Okay, so in chapter two Christian states that he hadn't had sex in 18 months.**

 **So if you count back from October when he made the comment, you'd end up about where Andy was conceived right around April/May of 2014. Now remember there is at least a nine month incubation period that would put his birth around February of 2015.**

 **He was only a little over a month old when the accident occured and the rest of the time(about six months) was the shutting down, the cheating, and the leaving. It was a time span of a matter of months, not years.**

 **Thank you again for reading, writing, and reviewing.**


	44. Happy Valentine's Day, Baby

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty-Four**

 **Happy Valentine's Day, Baby.**

 **Ana's POV**

"Oh my God," I whisper, catching my breath when he moves aside to let me get my first view of our room. "Christian it's beautiful."

I look around our suite and it is the epitome of romance as it is bathed in light yellow walls with rich brown furniture. The path that leads from the living room to the bed is sprinkled with deep red rose petals ending in a decorative display as they spread out on the bright white comforter of the king sized canapé bed.

"Do you really like it, Baby," Christian asks me.

"Like it," I repeat, not liking the inadequacy of the phrase. "Christian, I love it. I love it and I love you so much."

I rush into his arms and kiss him.

...

We lay cuddled on the top of the bed in nothing but our underwear after we stripped each other of our clothes.

We were supposed to go shower but he tossed me on the bed to feel the rose petals on my skin and we've been unwilling to move ever since.

Reluctantly, I get up to shower.

"I'll join you," Christian says getting up.

"No, no," I tell him pushing him back down. "Just wait for me."

"Alright, Baby," he says to me.

I fumble around in my bags that Ryan brought up, until I find what I'm looking for. I grab the bag and rush off to the bathroom.

The warm water is relaxing as I shower in Molton Brown Pink Pepperpod body wash that I got from Niemen's. I know the spicy scent is Christian's favorite.

I also picked up some lingerie for him tonight: a deep red satin and lace bra and panty set with black thigh-high stockings held up by a red garter belt.

I finish up my shower and slip them on, tying the panties in a little bow knot on each side. I take the pin out of my hair letting it fall around me as I slip on my deep red satin robe and my red fuck me heels.

Looking at the woman I barley recognize as myself in the mirror, I am very pleased with what I see. I take a deep breath and rejoin Christian in the bedroom.

He is sitting on the now turned down bed brushing the rose petals from around him when I come out.

 _Don't fidget. Stand up straight._

I tell myself as I try to look sexy and not like a damn deer caught in head lights, but I know that I am probably failing at it.

Christian finally looks up. His eyes go wide as his mouth falls open when he sees me.

I slowly untie my robe and let it fall to the floor at my feet revealing my bra and panties underneath.

I watch as his chest rises so high, I'm afraid it may burst as he tries to catch a breath.

 _Oh God he's having a heart attack!_

"Bae…baby," he crocks out seeing my panic. "You….fuck me….you look…Jesus Christ."

I beam under the compliment.

Having no idea what to do next, I am relieved when he gets up and takes charge.

He takes my hand and walks backward leading me to the bed where he once again sits down.

I stand in between his legs, watching him as his eyes and hands roam over me.

"So fucking sexy," he growls more to himself than to me.

"Mmmm," I moan as he kisses me deeply, the taste of the wine he had at dinner invades my mouth.

I let out a giggle when he falls back on the bed pulling me on top of him.

He turns so that I am now underneath him as he kisses his way down my body.

"Mmmm, I like these," He mumbles through is teeth as he now has one of my garter belts clamped in between them.

He runs his fingers down my stockings, kissing the trail of heat they just left on my skin, growling as he goes.

"Are you wet for me, Baby," he asks me and I slowly nod my head.

He reaches up to undo the bow ties of my panties before pulling them off.

"Oh yes," I moan out as his mouth moves to taste how wet I am. I love the feel of his tongue down there.

"Mmmm," he says as he licks me. "You smell so good. I love this scent on you. And you taste even better."

He raises my legs so that my red heels are now high in the air as he works me over.

I scream his name as I cum in his mouth and he licks me clean.

I pant, breathless and unable to move as I try to recover. He lowers my now weaken legs back on the bed.

"You were horny, Baby," he asks me of my quick release and I nod. "I love you horny."

I smile because I figured as much.

"I want you to ride me, Baby," he says as he lies on his back and pulls me up on to him. "I want to see you. I want you to fuck me in all this sexiness you have on."

Becoming inspired by his words, I straddle him. He reaches up for me but I take hold of his wrist. I pin his hands back down on the bed above his head.

"Mmmm," he moans a growl at my forwardness. "What are you going to do to me, Baby?"

I don't answer him. I hope I am hiding the fact that I have absolutely no clue of what I'm doing or what I am going to do to him.

I follow his example and start kissing my way down his body.

I nip his nipple with my teeth and he jerks up.

"Aw shit, Baby," he moans out in pleasure, so I do the same to the other one. "Fuck, Ana."

Seeing that he likes it, I make my way down biting and nipping this time instead of kissing and it is driving him insane.

The more turned on he gets the more excited and encouraged I get.

He chuckles at me when I go a tad bit too far and bite him on his stomach.

I manage to strip him of his white boxer briefs.

I position myself between his legs and he gets up on his hands to look down at me.

He raises an eyebrow at me in challenge.

Accepting it, I grab the length of him and hold him in my hands.

"Baby," he warns. "I haven't cleaned him yet."

"Aw fuck, Baby," he says as I give him a lick and smack my lips.

"Tastes good to me," I shrug. His chuckle turns into a deep moan when I take the tip of him in my mouth.

"SSSSSSSS," he hisses as I start to suck.

This really isn't as bad as I always thought it would be, but there is a lot more of a very hard Christian than I imagined.

I slowly try to take him farther into my mouth hoping I don't choke.

"Oh shit," I hear him whisper as his hips tighten. I can tell it's taking everything he has not to jerk himself up into my mouth.

I feel him at the back of my throat and I automatically shallow.

"Oh fuck Ana, just like that," Christian whispers. His voice is desperate with need. I continue to swallow him down until there is no more of him left.

I bring him out and I swallow him down again going faster and sucking harder.

He falls back on the bed with a thud.

His fingers find their way into my hair as he moans my name.

The fact that I am driving him this crazy is spurring me on and making me bold as I begin to play with him.

I cup his balls, take him out of my mouth, and start sucking them.

I try not to laugh as he has lost the ability to speak and is now mumbling incoherently.

I run my tongue over his balls and up to the tip of him before I plunge him back into my mouth again.

He tightens his hips again as the taste of him becomes a bit salty and I know he is close.

"BaabaBaby," he pants out miserably. "Cum. I'm about to."

I suck harder.

"Baby," he says as he tries to pull my head away but I latch on and suck harder.

"AW, fucking….fuck….fuck….fuck…." he says bucking his hips with each fuck as he comes into my mouth. I have no choice but to swallow him and his thick cum.

"Fuckingshit...fuck...Baby" he says, calming down.

When he is done, I lick all the cum that had escaped me off of him.

He goes flaccid right before my eyes. I let him go and it flops over, still incredible large as it lies limp on his leg.

It's so cute, but I dare not giggle. I. Dare. Not. giggle at it.

"Stop looking at my cute pink dick," he pants out and I laugh.

"You always forget big," I say as I crawl back up to him and wrap my arms around his neck. His head is cocked back and he is trying to regulate his breathing.

"What did you just do to me," he breathes out in amazement.

"Was it bad," I ask him.

"Bad," he breathes a laugh. "No Ana. That was…incredible. Fuck Baby, don't you have a gag reflex?"

"I guess not," I tell him as I kiss his Adams Apple that is bobbing up and down on his throat.

 _I wonder if it would gross him out if I kissed him now. Would it gross me out since he just finished down there with me?_

He answers my unspoken question by lowering his head and plunging his tongue in my mouth.

Our moans and our juices mix together in our mouths in a unique taste that is all us.

I breathe in sharply when I feel his large erection sticking me in my butt cheek.

 _How the hell does he do that so fast?_

"He can't get enough of you, Baby," he tells apologetically.

"Well, I'll try to make him happy," I tell him as I sit up.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I watch as she straddles me, her perfect tits encased in that sexy as fuck red bra. Those fucking heels and stockings with the garter belt are about to make me lose my mind.

Fuck, the way she just sucked my dick nearly killed me. I've never had my dick sucked before in my life. I couldn't even think straight, it felt so damn good.

And now she is trying to make him happy, for fuck sakes! I don't know what has gotten into her, but damn I love it.

I lay back and watch her as she works. I fucking love watching her.

She lifts up on her knees and slowly sits on my dick allowing him to slide into her.

"Shit," I moan out as I watch him disappear inside of her warm wet pussy. She is trying to place her feet so that her heels are not digging in my skin.

I sit up, run my hands down the calf of her legs, and slide them off to make it easier for her to move. I hear them as they fall somewhere on the light brown marbled floor in front of the bed and I lay back down.

I moan as Ana begins to grind herself on top of me.

"You feel so good, Baby," I tell her.

Wanting to see her tits bounce in her bra, I grab hold of her hips and bounce her up and down.

I jerk my hips up and she throws her head back so that her tits are on full display.

"Oh God," she moans, liking the feeling of me pounding up into her as she slams down on me.

Not being able to take it. I let go of her hips and unclasp her bra. Her tits spring free as I drag the bra off of her.

She moans my name when I sit up and take one of her hard nipples in my mouth to suckle it.

"Oh God, Christian," she cries out as she climbs higher and higher. I wrap my arms around her as we both move together in perfect rhythm.

Her pussy spasms and her warm juices come oozing down my dick as she cums.

She tightens herself around me triggering my orgasm and I cum hard inside of her.

I fall back on the bed, taking her with me as I cradle her in my arms, my dick still inside of her as we pass out.

…..

 **Sunday February 14, 2016**

 **Valentine's Day**

I wake to the sound of a soft knock on the door. I slip on the black tuxedo pants I wore last night, close the double doors of our bedroom so not to wake Ana and let the crew I scheduled to come for this morning in.

I instruct them to let themselves out when they're done as I take out my cell phone and step onto the balcony.

I smile when I see a happy Valentine's Day message from Teddy and Phoebe and I text them the same in reply.

I also text Dad and Elliot telling them to bring it on. Elliot text me to go fuck myself and Dad says he has it in the bag.

Knowing the both of them, I can already guess where they're going to try to take Mom and Kate today and I also know that there is no way in hell they're going to get reservations there this late, so I put in a call to Canlis letting them know that my parents are coming and to give them my table.

I leave Elliot to fend for himself as I make my way back to Ana.

I slide in bed behind her and wrap my arms around her.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Baby," I say to her as I kiss her cheek.

"Happy Valentine's Day," she says smiling, her voice still hoarse from sleep.

"Are you ready for the best day ever," I ask her and she nods her head quickly.

"I am so ready," she says excited. "Although I'm not sure if anything can top my pre-Valentine's Day."

I laugh.

The hotel room door closes causing Ana to sit up alarmed.

"What was that," she says.

"Just your surprise, Baby," I assure her. "Come."

She gets out of bed and I take my sweet ass time slipping off her garter belt and stockings before I help her into the robe she discarded all sexy as fuck for me last night.

She ties it up as she walks with me through the double doors out of the bedroom.

"Whoa," she says as she looks at the newly decorated living room.

The hotel has refreshed the path of flowers and brought in a lovely breakfast spread complete with chocolate covered strawberries, pastries, and red moscato champagne.

"I can't believe it," Ana says clasping her hands together. She kisses me a thank you before I pull her over so we can indulge in our meal. We both choose the cheese and spinach omelet with fresh fruit and as instructed, they provided her with hot water and her English tea, bag out.

Like clockwork she moans as she eats. She eyes me and I smirk at her because I know she is doing it on purpose.

Her cute little giggle gives her away.

"You certainly know how to impress a girl," she tells me as she feeds me the last strawberry we'd been munching on.

"My girl," I correct her after swallowing the sweet fruit.

She nods and bites her lip as embarrassment or God forbid, doubt, creeps in her head.

"Hey," I whisper to her. I take my hand and lift her chin so that she looks at me. "You are my girl, Anastasia Steele. Say it."

"Your girl," she whispers and thank fuck it is embarrassment I see as a blush creeps up her face.

"Say it again," I tell her.

"I am your girl," she says more comfortably this time.

"Again," I tell and she laughs.

"I am your girl," she tells me. "but…"

She stops and looks around.

"Don't you dare say it, Ana," I gently scold her.

"You deserve so much more than just this," I tell her. "And I plan on spoiling you for as long as you'll let me."

"Okay," she tells me, relaxing once again.

"Good," I tell her. "Now that we have that settled, it's time for the second part of my surprise."

"There's more," she says, excited once again as she whips her head around to scan the room.

I point with my head and she looks down to see another path of rose petals.

She quickly gets up to see where it leads.

"OH. **MY**.GOD," I hear her say as she enters the large bathroom to see it adorned with lit candles, champagne that is being chilled and a tray of fine assorted chocolates.

But what has her practically giddy is that the bathtub itself is already filled with water. It is completely covered with red rose petals all floating on top. In the center is the letter I made with pure white petals. Next to it is a white rose petaled heart followed by the white letter U.

"Get in," I tell her as I take off her robe.

"Really," she says looking at me in question and I nod.

I wait while she goes to get her phone and takes a picture of it.

I help her as she steps a foot in to try it out. She then gets all the way in and makes room for me to get in behind her.

"The water is perfect," she tells me surprised that it's kept for so long.

"It's a bath spa," I tell her as I caress her shoulders then pull her back on top of me.

I reach over and pour a glass of champagne and put it to her lips.

"Mmm," she says when she tastes it.

I take a sip before I put it back on the tray and feed her a chocolate.

"I am the luckiest person in the world," she tells me.

"Oh no, Baby," I tell her. "That honor goes to me."

"I…I just don't know why you feel that way," she tells me. "I haven't done anything."

"Baby, you don't have to do anything," I tell her. "Just being you is more than enough."

I kiss her temple.

"Ana," I call to her, trying to explain my feelings. "You've touched a part of me that I didn't even know had died until you brought it back to life. Now I need you to nourish it and to keep it thriving."

She sits up and faces me.

"I don't deserve you," she whispers.

"I hate that you believe that," I tell her as I kiss her forehead. "Because you deserve so much more."

"No," she says. "You are everything I need. You're all I want. Only you."

…

"Are you ready to get out, Baby," I ask her as I comb through her wet hair with my fingers after I've washed it.

"Mhm," she tells me, enjoying the feeling.

I get out first and help her. I grab the shower head and turn it on to wash off the rose petals.

"It's a wet room," I tell her as she looks as though I've lost my mind wetting up the bathroom floor.

"Wow," she says making me laugh.

...

"I can't believe it," I complain as I go through the bathroom drawers.

These fuckers can't even provide their guest with a damn hair dryer.

"I packed mine," she tells me, stopping me from calling to chew somebody out.

For some damn reason she hates my hair dryer. Something about it makes her hair dry out, so she always packs her own.

I go out to retrieve it as she brushes through her wet hair.

"Baby what is this," I call for her and she comes out of the bathroom to see.

"What," she says and I hold it up. I watch as her eyes get big and her face flames.

"I am going to **kill** him," she says grabbing for the little black mini riding crop and I quickly raise it above my head just out of her reach.

I already know the him is Jose,Thank You,Rodriguez.

"I should have known he was up to something when he wanted to help me pack," she says.

"Well now let's not be too hard on the guy," I tell her.

"Are you serious," she says. "I had no idea he packed that."

"So you don't want to use it," I ask her.

"You want to use it," she throws the question back at me.

"You might like it," I tell her. "You like it when I spank your ass don't you, Baby."

I already know she does, I can tell by how wet she gets whenever I do it.

She nods her head.

"Go over and face the bed," I tell her and she quickly walks over while I strip myself of my bathrobe. I smack my forearm with the riding crop testing how hard I can hit before it actually hurts.

I go over and pull the white bathrobe off of her and toss it aside next to mine. She breathes hard when she feels me standing behind her. I take the riding crop and make a circle on a spot on her skin. I raise it and bring it down smacking her ass.

She jumps in anticipation of pain, but moans out in pleasure when all she feels is that little sting she likes.

She looks back at me when I stand not touching her.

I smirk at her and smack her again on her other ass cheek but this time she doesn't jump.

"Bend over the bed," I tell her and she bends with her ass in the air for me to worship.

"Fuck you have the perfect ass," I tell her.

She moans.

"You like that, Baby," I ask her as I slide my dick into her.

"Yes," pants out and she pushes back into me.

"What do you want, Baby," I ask her.

"I….I want…" she starts but stops again, refusing to say it out loud.

"Nooo," she whines when I stop fucking her.

"Tell me what you, Baby," I tell her again.

"I want….I want you to…do it faster," she says.

"Do what," I ask her, giving her a stroke and stopping again.

She moans in protest. She is now dripping wet and I don't know how much longer I can deny her.

"I want you to….fuck me," she finally says the word, desperate for me to fuck her.

"How," I ask her.

"Hard," she says surprising me, as a whole other monster has just been created.

"Fuck Baby," I moan out, giving in.

I ram my dick into her hard and fast. She moans as she matches my movement.

"Oh god," she says, as I smack her ass with the riding crop.

She grips the comforter with both hands.

I grab her still wet hair and wrap it around my hand to steady her while I smack her ass with the riding crop over and over again.

"Shit," I moan out as she starts to cream.

Her pussy spasms and she calls for me as she cums.

"Oh godohgodohgod," she moans as she rides her wave.

I drop the riding crop.

I lift her up and carry her along as I climb farther on the bed. I lay her flat on her stomach as I continue to fuck her. She reaches back, grabs my ass, and pulls me deeper into her.

"Fucking shit," I moan as she cums again drowning my dick.

"SHIT, Ana," I scream her name as I empty myself inside of her until we both colaspe on the bed.

…

"Jesus," I say as I cradle her in bed. "You are so unexpected."

"I can say the same for you," she tells me. "You are very good at…fucking me."

I chuckle when she still has trouble saying the word.

"I love fucking you," I tell her. "I love making love to you too. You are my muse, Ana."

And it's true. I never imagined doing any of this kinky shit before she came along. She has lit a fire inside of me and I am powerless to stop it as it consumes me, not that I would even try.

…..

"Are you going to shower with me," she asks as she gets her clothes ready to go. She takes one look at my naked body and my dick gets hard at her scrutiny. "On second thought, you'd better not."

I smirk at her and go shower in the second bathroom as she uses the larger one.

"You look great, Baby," I tell her.

She is dressed in blue jeans, a cranberry sweater, and gray thick soled Uggs.

"You won't tell me where we are going," she says as we ride the elevator down. "Not even a hint?"

"Balloons are involved," I tell her and she tries to think.

She greets Ryan as he holds the limo door open for us.

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend," she asks me when we are inside.

"I have no idea," I tell her and she gives me a look. "It's not like we are friends, Ana."

"But he'll take a bullet for you," she tells me. "At least ask him if he has a girlfriend on Valentine's Day."

She quiets down when Ryan hops in to drive and I push the button to close the privacy window.

"I try not to get too attached to my employees," I tell her.

"Do they at least get their birthdays off," she asks.

"I don't know when their birthdays are," I tell her in annoyance. I never gave a shit about that. The less I knew about them the easier it was for me to get rid of their asses when they fucked up.

"Christian Grey," she shakes her head at me and I sigh.

She giggles at me and I know she just did that shit on purpose to tease me.

"Only you can get me this frustrated," I tell her and she kisses me.

We drive over to the nearby town of Woodinvile. Ryan pulls up to the empty field and opens my door to let me out.

I roll my eyes at my pussy whipped self and what I'm about to ask him.

"Do you have a significant other, Ryan," I say to him as Ana waits for me to come around and open her door to let her out.

"Sir," Ryan asks me, taken aback. In the three years he has worked for me, this is the first time I've ever asked him a personal question.

"A girlfriend or somebody like that," I clarify.

"Uh yes, yes Sir," he says smiling proudly. "I have a fiancé."

 _Oh for fuck sakes._

"Have O'Malley meet us out here," I tell him knowing that he's unattached as much as the old guy, who I should have forced to retire a while ago, talks about never getting laid. "Take the day and spend it with your fiancé on me. Take her out, spare no expense, and put it on your card."

Each of my CPOs are issued credit cards so if and when I need something, I or they don't have to figure out how to get money to them to pay for it.

He stands stunned as I go around and help Ana out of the limo.

"Thank you, Mr. Grey," I hear him say, enthusiastically as what I said finally sinks in and he hauls ass back to Seattle.

"What was that about," Ana asks as I hold her hand and walk.

"You," I simply say as I take my balls back from her and pull her forward.

She starts looking around at where we are.

"Uh, Christian where are we…" she was about to ask where we were going when it becomes clear.

"A hot air balloon ride," she squeals out giddily when she sees it being readied to go. "Yes, I've always wanted to do this."

She jumps into my arms.

"Thank you, thank you thank you," she says.

"Anything for you, Baby," I tell her.

I introduce her to Cliff, the balloon operator as he holds the door open to let us in the square shaped brown basket.

Of course he has to perform safety checks with me present. No way in hell I'm letting us go up in a flimsy ass basket with a man who doesn't know what he's doing.

Satisfied that he is competent enough, I step inside the basket with an overly excited Ana.

Her excitement is contagious but I have a feeling though, that if it had been soap box cars out here waiting for us, she would have been just as excited. It's one of the many things I love about her. I don't have to go overboard to please her. It makes doing it that much better.

She looks up at the now inflated large blue, red, and purple checkered balloon with the flames above our heads and then she looks over at me. I wink at her to let her know that everything is perfect and she relaxes.

The fact that she trusts me enough to just go along with things does something indescribable to me. It satisfies a need that I didn't even realize I had.

"All set to go," Cliff asks us.

"Yes," Ana answers him, happily.

She looks down at the ground as the basket lifts in the air.

"This is amazing," she says as we rise beyond the tree tops and just below the clouds. The breeze is blowing just right, giving us the gentle push we need to move us along.

We come upon a lake and the balloon quickly descends.

"Oh my God, were falling," Ana says as she turns in my arms and buries her face in my chest. I laugh as I wrap my arms around her and kiss her head.

She turns to peek just as we scrap the water and go back up again.

We stay up in the air for about an hour enjoying the most beautiful scenery that the town has to offer before we head back down again.

….

"I can't believe it. That was beyond awesome," Ana says as we approach the limo and get in.

"What happened to Ryan," she asks as O'Malley is now driving us.

"Something came up," I grumble.

"Awww," she says kissing me.

"Careful, Baby," I tell her. "You get me started and we're likely to give the old guy a heart attack."

She laughs, but taking heed to my warning, she scoots back over to her side.

...

 **Ana's POV**

As if all of yesterday and the balloon ride today wasn't enough. Christian takes me to the Delille Cellars winery in Woodinvile.

We have a private tour of the beautiful vineyard and then settle in on our own private terrace to taste the wine.

I follow Christian's lead as he swirls the red wine in his glass. I refuse to stick my nose that far in the glass but I do sniff it before I take a sip.

I enjoy watching Christian as he makes such a production of smacking his lips as he taste the wine.

"Mmmm," he moans. "Taste almost as good as you, Baby."

I put my forehead in my hand as I shake my head.

I pick up a plump red grape on the fruit and cracker platter the winery has provided for us and munch on it.

...

"I see why they spit it out on those TV shows about wine," I tell Christian as we drive back to the hotel.

"Feeling a little tipsy, Baby," he asks me.

"Just a little bit," I tell him. "But it was so worth it."

"Once I get some real food in you, you'll be okay," he tells me. "I was impressed myself. They had a very good selection of wine."

I knew he liked it from him nearly buying their whole supply.

"What made you get so interested in wine," I ask him.

"When I first started out, I was force to hob knob at all these business events," he tells me. "The choices were either hard liquor or wine. I can't stomach that much hard liquor, so the more wine I had the more I liked it."

"I can see why," I tell him, honestly. "It's very good."

We stand once again going up to our suite in the elevator and I start to fidget. I know it's time for me to give him my gift.

As I go through the list of all he's done for me the last two days, my heart drops at the cheapness of it.

 _I really need a second job if I'm going to ever have a hope of impressing him._

 _Note to self: Look into private tutoring for extra crash._

"You okay, Baby," he asks me as the elevator opens to let us out.

"Yes," I say. "Perfect."

He eyes me suspiciously at my formal answer. I take his hand and we walk out of the elevator.

"Are we going down to the dining room," I ask him. "I don't know if it's right that I wear the same dress down there twice."

"The way you looked in that dress it would be wrong for you **not** to wear it," he tells me. "You looked so fucking hot. In that damn sea of red, my girl looked amazing in classic black."

 **Thank you Jose!**

"Dinner should already be here," he tells me as he opens the door to our suite.

If I thought the pre- valentine set up was awe inspiring the Valentine's Day decor is worthy of its own poem.

 _Jesus Christ, he didn't buy me something_ _ **that**_ _expensive!_

I think to myself when I see the small blue Tiffany box decorated with a little white bow next to the long steamed martini class and the plate full of oysters on ice at our table settings.

 _Oh God, he did!_

"Thank you," I say when he helps me to sit down.

 _What do I do? Do I ignore it? Do I mention it? Maybe it's not for me. Of course it's for you, you idiot!_

"Baby," Christian gently calls me.

"Yes," I say to him.

"Aren't you going to open your gift," he asks me.

I am about to protest, but one look at his face lets me know I would just end up hurting his feelings if I said anything.

"Yes," I say smiling at him.

I pick up the little blue square box and lift the lid. I remove the delicate white paper and catch my breath.

"Christian, they are….beautiful," I say to him.

Inside the box is a pair of the reddest of ruby earrings I've ever seen in a square platinum setting framed with diamonds.

 _Oh my God I love them._

"I thought they would fit in perfect with the day," he tells me. "Baby why are you are crying?"

I wipe my eyes in surprise, I didn't realize I was.

"I'm just so happy," I tell him honestly and he smiles relieved.

"What do you think," I ask him as he stands behind me in the mirror watching me put them on.

"Perfection," he tells me. "I love what they do for your eyes."

I grin like an idiot.

"I uh….I have something for you too," I tell as I cringe.

His face lights up like it did at Christmastime.

He follows me into the living room while I get it from my bag.

I bite my lip as he lifts the lid of the red gift box.

Its taking everything I've got not to snatch it and put it away before he sees it.

 _Too late now_

"Jesus, Baby," he whispers as he stares at his gift.

It is a professional photo of me.

I am laying on my stomach with my knees bent in nothing but a light brown cashmere off the shoulder sweater that barely covers my butt, trying my best to look provocatively at the camera.

"You are absolutely stunning," he says as he runs his fingers over the picture of me and the heavy frame. "I love this almost as much as I love the real thing. It's perfect."

I breathe a sigh of relief that he actually likes it.

I moan as he kisses me.

….

"Did you have fun this weekend, Baby," Christian asks me as we drive into Seattle.

"Fun doesn't even begin to describe it," I tell him. "It was the best, most perfect day ever."

"I can't believe you've never had oysters before," he tells me as we make our way to the great room of Escala.

"My dads fry them and eat them, but I always stayed away," I tell him. "They look pretty disgusting, but they aren't so bad once you get past the slime factor."

He laughs.

He could never tell I didn't like them before by the way I swallowed them down.

"I'm sure you gave them to me on purpose to make me horny and miserable, knowing I can't have you tonight," I tell him.

"Who says you can't have me," he frowns.

"The twins are due back any minute," I tell him.

"Baby, they know you're here," he reminds me.

"But they haven't seen you since Friday," I tell him. "I'm sure they would prefer I not impede on their time with you."

"Ana you're not impeding," he tells me. "We want you here. Stop looking at yourself as an outsider. You're not."

I nod when I hear the familiar ping and the sound of the twins.

"Hi Daddy, Hi Ana," The twins say in unison.

"Hi guys," Christian and I also say in unison making us all laugh a little.

"Did you have fun this weekend," I ask them.

"Uh huh," Phoebe says. "Mrs. Beachum let us watch movies for Valentine's Day."

"Really," Christian says. "I hope you didn't fill up on candy for dinner."

"Ummmm, let's go check on Wilfred," Teddy says to Phoebe, obviously trying to avoid his sister spilling the fact they did fill up on candy.

"Get ready for bed," Christian tells them.

"Can Ana read us a story," Teddy asks. "She reads good….I mean well." He corrects himself and I'm sure the correction is for my benefit as I always correct the class.

"I'll be right up," I tell him as Christian looks for me to answer.

He takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom.

"It's settled," he tells me and I feel better about it. "You're staying the night and any other damn night you want."

"I don't have anything to wear for work tomorrow," I tell him. "I can just set my alarm early."

He gives me a look.

"What did you do," I ask him.

"I bought you a few clothes," he tells me.

"What," I squeak out. "When?"

"Mrs. Acton had them delivered Friday after we left and Gail put them away for you," he tells me.

"Where," I ask him and he points to his large walk in closet.

We walk in and I take a look.

"A few clothes," I whisper in astonishment as I see his clothes have been moved to one side of his closet while mine occupy the other side.

He has bought me a whole wardrobe, including evening gowns and cocktail dresses. Jesus Christ, there are shoes of all colors and styles neatly stacked on shelves right next to perfectly matched purses and bags.

"I got tired of you carrying your bags back and forth," he explains. "And besides you're my girlfriend, you're beautiful, and your body is amazing. I want you to always remember those three things everytime you come in here to get dressed. I want you to feel comfortable here Baby, and so does the twins."

"My God," I say in response to his words to me.

 _Just when I think I couldn't possible love him anymore, he says something that fills my heart and makes me fall for him all over again._

He shrugs as if this is not the biggest thing in the world. Not only has he bought me more clothes than I will ever hope to wear in a lifetime, but he has made room for **me** in **his** closet. He has made a space just for **my** things in **his** home.

I turn to him speechless.

"If you don't like something just let me know and I'll return it," he tells me.

"Ana," he calls my name when I have yet to speak as I stand speechless by the overwhelming sweet gesture and what the meaning is behind it.

"Fuck," he sighs as his face falls. "I've gone too far. I've completely overwhelmed you, haven't I?"

"What," I manage to get out. "No. Overwhelmed yes..."

He nods his head, misunderstanding my meaning.

"No, not like that," I try again. " I...I'm just...I..."

 _You are totally blowing it Ana, just say it!_

* * *

 **A/N: Now what is Ana trying to say?**

 ***Inspiration for Ana giving Christian a sexy photo of herself came from Fifty Shades of Misunderstandings by SdaisyS.**

 ***The winner of the bet between Carrick and Elliot will be on the next update.**

 ***Please check out pinterest because as you all know I can't describe crap lol.**

 ***I hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	45. All In

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty-Five**

 **All In**

 **Ana's POV**

"Ana," he calls my name when I have yet to speak as I stand speechless by the overwhelming sweet gesture and what the meaning is behind it.

"Fuck," he sighs as his face falls. "I've gone too far. I've completely overwhelmed you, haven't I?"

"What," I manage to get out. "No. Overwhelmed yes..."

He nods his head, misunderstanding my meaning.

"No, not like that," I try again. "I...I'm just...I..."

 _You are totally blowing it Ana, just say it!_

"No Christian," I grab him and kiss him for dear life when he tries to apologize to me. "I love it so much. I just… I don't know."

"Baby, I swear you are the only woman I've ever met who doesn't talk to death about her feelings," he jokes with me. "Just tell me, are they good or bad?"

"Good," I tell him. "And bad."

"Okay," he says. "Now, can I get a little more than that?"

"Christian, it's true, you do overwhelm me, but not in a bad way," I tell him. "The fact that you did all these things for me today was amazing enough, but then you make room in your closet for me. I wish I could tell you how much that means to me."

"About the same as it did for me when you gave me a key to your place," he tells me. "So what's the bad part?"

"You are making it hard for me to keep perspective," I tell him.

"Perspective," he repeats like it's a dirty word.

"Yes," I tell him. "I need to stay grounded where you're concerned."

"You don't want me to sweep you off of your feet," he tells me.

"I don't want to get swept away," I say to him.

"Why not," he asks me.

"I need to be able to keep my identity," I explain to him. "To keep the little bit of control I have."

"Baby, you think I want to take those things away from you," he asks me.

"No," I tell him. "But it would be so easy for me to give it to you without even realizing it was happening. Every second of every day, I fall deeper in love with you and now you are making room for me here. I already feel so safe here and this is making it a thousand times harder to stay away."

"Good," he exclaims. "Baby, what's so wrong with that?"

"God Christian, I just have no defenses when it comes to you and I'm afraid you are going to swallow me whole," I tell him.

"Come here," he says taking me in is arms. "I get it, trust me I do. You have managed to somehow seep into my every pore and it is scary as hell to realize how much I need you in my life to make it worth living."

"It is," I ask him.

"Yes, Baby," he tells me, exasperated that I still don't believe him. "I know it's a little different for you because, unfortunately the gauge in which you have to measure all this by isn't really in my favor, but I need you to trust me on this like you do everything else. I need you to trust in this love we have. Know that it is healthy."

"What if it doesn't work out," I ask him. "It's only been a few months. What if we are just setting ourselves up for failure when all of the excitement wears off and reality sets in?"

"Failure is simply not an option in my world, Ana," he tells me. "At the risk of showing my hand and scaring you more than I already am, you have to know that I'm not going to let you go. That doesn't mean I'll try to force you stay, but damnit, I am going to do everything in my power to make you want to. I am a man who does what he has to do to get what he wants and I have never wanted anything or anyone more in my life than I want you."

"You make it all sound so easy," I tell him.

"It's not easy," he tells me. "Like anything worth having, it's hard work and it's everyday. We are going to have our ups and downs and at some point, compromise will have to come into play, especially with us trying to share a life together, but I would never change who you are, Ana. Who you are is the very thing I love about you. And you are stronger than you think you are. You would never let me get away with that shit."

I laugh.

"Don't over think things, Baby," he tells me. "I know it's all new to you, but most of this is new to me too. Just don't pull back because you are afraid of something that won't ever happen."

"You just seem so sure that it won't," I tell him.

"Ana," he says to me. "I am sure because I am all in, one hundred percent, and I need to know that you are all in too."

 _All in, I don't know if I can do all in. Can anyone give their all to someone else and still own who they are?_

He stands hopeful for my answer and I choke.

"I…I don't want to keep the twins waiting," I tell him and make a hasty retreat.

He nods and tries to hide it, but I can see the hurt in his eyes from me running.

Feeling like crap for not being able to give him what he wants, I go to read to the twins. I find them in Teddy's room waiting for me.

We finish reading the last part of James and the Giant Peach which they started reading earlier in the week with Christian. But they are nowhere near ready to go to bed. Instead they bombard me with questions which apparently they have been wanting to ask me.

"Are you going to be here when we get up in the morning," Teddy asks me.

"Uh, yeah I'll be here," I tell him.

"Are you going to be staying a lot of nights," Phoebe asks me.

"I think maybe so," I tell her. "But I don't want to make you uncomfortable by being here. I know it's a lot to get use to."

"Dad wants you to stay a lot of nights," Teddy says.

"You think so," I ask him.

"Uh huh," Phoebe answers for him. "He likes you and it makes him happy, that's what Auntie Mia and Grandma Grace said."

"Were you eavesdropping," I ask them, trying hard to get out of talking about this.

"Nope, they just talk loud," Teddy says. "Grandma Grace says she's happy dad met you because he's not sad anymore."

"He was sad," I ask them, knowing I really shouldn't be pumping them for information.

"Uh huh," Phoebe said. "Auntie Mia said he was mes…mesera…"

"Miserable," I ask her.

"Uh huh," she says. "Daddy use to be really sad and I was scared because I thought he would leave us like Mommy did because she was sad about Baby Andy, that's our little brother, he died and she got real sad and left us. Dad was sad too and he gave us cell phones so we could always talk to him but one day he didn't answer and I thought he left us all alone. But now he's not sad anymore and neither is Mommy so I'm not so scared."

"I'm glad," I tell them both. "Your mom and dad love you very much and they would never want you to be scared of such a thing. I know it was hard when your brother died and you all miss him very much. Your mom and dad working so hard to make it better shows just how very much they love you."

They both nod.

"I thought Mom would get sad again because Dad loves you now, but she says that dad isn't the type of man who loves very easily, but she always knew that he could love someone really hard and that she's happy he found someone to love like that and that we need to help him make it okay to love you." Teddy says. "So it's okay with us."

"Do you love Daddy, Ana," Phoebe asks.

"I don't think we are supposed to ask that," Teddy tells Phoebe.

"Its okay, Teddy," I tell him. "Yes, I love your Dad very much."

"He loves you too," she says, happily."Even though he might not say. He's not much of a sayer just like Teddy. Teddy loves me, but he won't say it. He loves you too. But Daddy tells us he loves us 'cause we're his kids. **I** don't mind telling people when I love them. And I love you, Ana."

I can't help but smile at her sweet confession.

"I love you too," I tell her. "I love both of you."

They both smile at me.

….

I tuck in Teddy and walk Phoebe to her room and tuck her in before I head back to Christian.

I am kicking myself for being such an idiot letting my stupid doubts get in the way of loving a man whose done everything he can to show me how much he loves me since nearly the first day we met.

 _Well fuck you Travis Carson for making me this afraid to trust again and fuck you Carla Steele for making me feel like I don't belong anywhere because I finally do and no way in hell am I going to walk away from it or doubt it ever again._

I find Christian sitting on the edge of his bed waiting for me.

"Did they talk your ear off," he asks looking up at me worried and I know it has nothing to do with the twins talking to me.

"They just wanted to make sure my intentions were true with their Daddy," I tell him and he cracks a smile.

"Ana, why are running again," he asks me.

"I'm not," I tell him. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm all in."

"You're all in," he repeats and I nod

"One hundred percent," I tell him.

"Thank fuck for that," he says lifting me up and spinning me around.

…..

"I really freaked you out with the closet thing," Christian says as we lay curled up in his bed.

"It's not every day a guy gives a girl half his closet," I tell him.

"Then I probably shouldn't show you the underwear drawers or the bathroom cabinets," he says and I laugh.

"You are too much," I tell him giving him a kiss on the lips. "Thank you."

"For what," he asks me.

"For loving me hard," I tell him.

"I don't know how to love you any other way, Baby," he tells me.

"Be patient with me," I tell him. "I'm notorious for panicking."

"Not a problem, Baby," he chuckles.

….

 **Monday, February 15, 2016**

"I hate Monday mornings," I tell Christian as he drags me to the shower. "Who ever invented them did so just to torture us."

Christian laughs as he turns on the shower.

"This should help wake you," he tells me as he stands me under the warm water.

"Mmmmm," I moan out.

He kisses my shoulder as he gives me a sponge to lather myself up.

"Where are you going," I ask him when I finally wake up enough to look and see he is in sweat pants and hoodie.

"Running," he tells me giving me a kiss. "I'll be back in about an hour."

I nod closing my eyes again as the warm water rushes over me.

"Don't fall asleep and drown," he says. I laugh and splash him with water.

I finish up my shower and slip on my favorite shirt, one of Christian's white button downs, and a pair of yoga pants. I wander out to the kitchen to see if Gail is here or if I should start breakfast for the twins.

"Good morning, Ana," Gail greets me when I go into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Gail," I say to her as I sit at the breakfast bar.

She is her usual cheerful self dressed as smart as always in her black skirt and white blouse with her blonde hair perfectly styled in a bun.

" Mr. Grey asks if you'd wait and join him and the twins for their breakfast meeting," she tells me.

"Breakfast meeting," I ask her.

"It's a meeting they have every morning to start their day," she explains.

"That sounds so much like Christian," I tell her.

"The children really love it," she smiles. "Mr. Grey even goes so far as to give them a rundown of his day. I think it was started to lessen their separation anxiety."

I nod in understanding.

"You really care for them don't you," I ask her seeing it's not just a job to her.

"I care a great deal about them," she tells me. "They are very loving children. I wouldn't mind having a few just like them one day."

"You and Jason," I goad her and she laughs.

"Jason already has Sophie who is the sweetest little thing just like Phoebe," she tells me.

"That's right, Taylor has a daughter," I say remembering her on Halloween. "She is adorable. She and Phoebe are two peas in a pod."

"Absolutely," she tells me. "They are great friends. She would be with her here every day if she didn't live out with her mother and her step father in Vancouver."

"Do you all…um get along," I ask her, she and I have been very friendly with one another but I am hoping I'm not crossing the line with the question.

"It was slow going," she confides in me, sensing my double meaning I'm sure, since I am in the same position she's in. "But we've all learned to co-exist and I've come to love Sophie like she is my own."

"Gail," I tell her, getting up to leave her to her day. "I haven't known you all that long but I do believe I would be hard pressed to find a child you couldn't love as your own."

"I believe I can say the same for you, Ana," she tells me as I go.

….

 **Christian's POV**

"Sir, you just missed your mother downstairs. She's on her way up," Anderson says as I and Taylor step off the elevator after our run.

"I'll take it from here," I tell them as I send the elevator down and they disappear to the security room.

"Good morning, Dear," Mom says to me as she gets off the elevator.

"What brings you by so early, Mother," I ask her, kissing her cheeks in greeting.

"Do I need a reason to see you," she asks me

"Not at all," I tell her. "But you usually have one."

"Well you're right," she tells me as she walks in the great room. "I'm on my way to a board meeting and I just dropped by to thank you for helping your father out yesterday. I love him dearly, but the poor man wouldn't know romance if it walked up and impaled him."

"I'm glad you both enjoyed it," I tell her.

"Speaking of enjoy," she says. "I heard you out did yourself this weekend? I'm happy someone has a romantic gene in this family."

I laugh.

"Also we are having dinner tonight," she tells me. "I want you and Ana to attend."

I am about to decline but she won't hear of it.

"Now Christian," she scolds. "Will you please stop hiding the girl from us."

"I'm not hiding her, Mother," I tell her. "I just don't want to throw you all at her at once."

"Well she's only never met your father and I and we are harmless," she says much too innocently. "At least invite her. Now I won't take no for answer."

"Mother," I start, but stop when I see Ana enter the room.

I look above mom's head just in time to see her stop short when she sees who I'm talking to. I smile when she tries to quietly back away.

...

 **Ana's POV**

I stand in Christian's massive closet. Just my section is bigger than my whole apartment. I look through the clothes and I automatically think of Jose. I know he would just die if he was allowed to run loose in here.

Christian must have told the people at Neiman's that I am a grade school teacher because the selection of sensible outfits with matching flats is very impressive. I eye a pair of shiny brown penny loafers next to a matching brown long strapped bag and roll my eyes at myself.

Of all the things I could admire in this closet, I am drooling over a pair of loafers.

I hear Christian's voice talking to who I assume is Gail so I go out to see what the fuss is about.

I stop dead in my tracks when I see that it's not Gail at all but a dark haired woman that is impeccably dressed in a long light gray coat and matching gloves.

Her back is to me and I try to go back into the bedroom before she sees me, but Christian looks right at me, giving my presence away.

She quickly turns to see what's got his attention since he is smiling at something over her head and now I am caught.

I inwardly cringe when she eyes me and I realize I am in his shirt with yoga pants on and my hair is blow dried but un-styled and barley combed. It looks like I am in a just fucked outfit with just fucked hair.

"My word," she says to me sweetly, as she is just as shocked to see me as I am her. I try to adjust myself by pulling up Christian's overly long sleeves.

"I…I didn't mean to interrupt," I tell her trying to back away.

"Not at all, Dear," she says coming over to wear I am. "I am Christian's mother and you must be Ana, I've heard so much about you from my children."

"Yes, Ma'am," I tell her as she takes off her glove to shake my hand.

"None of that now," she tells me. "Call me Grace. Well look at you. You are so pretty. Christian isn't she so very pretty?"

She says to him as she walks and guides me along over to where he stands pleased as punch at our exchange.

"Stunning," Christian tells her.

"Well I won't keep you all," she says. "I just stopped by to invite you to dinner tonight. We were just talking about how very much Christian wanted you to attend, weren't we Christian?"

"That's not exactly…"Christian starts to contradict her.

"Now hush, Dear," she tells him and I try not to giggle as he smirks at her. "Christian is just afraid we'll embarrass him, but we'll do no such thing."

"Oh no, I would love to have dinner," I tell her, honestly.

"Wonderful," she says, smiling. "I'll see you both later tonight."

She leaves as quickly as she came.

"Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey," Christian says in her wake and I laugh.

….

"Thank you for agreeing to dinner," he tells me as we get dressed.

He is wearing a gray suit that fits him to a tee and I am wearing the loafers I fell in love with matched with a brown blouse, black blazer, and black slacks. I am also wearing my ruby valentine's day earrings that I refuse to take off just yet.

"I'm looking forward to it" I tell him. "Your mom is great."

"She's thinks highly of you as well," he assures me as he takes me into his arms, kissing me.

"Dad, Ana, it's time for our meeting," I hear the twins say and Christian groans at the interruption.

...

 **Christian's POV**

We all sit and have a breakfast of bacon, cheese omelets, and toast as we have our morning meeting. Ana and the twins are excited because they are getting their caterpillars today.

"Real Caterpillars," I ask them.

"Uh huh," Phoebe says, happily. "Ana says we get to watch their metamorphoses into butterflies.

"And when the weather is warm we get to release them," Teddy adds.

I'm still not quite getting how they are going to house the caterpillars not to mention all the butterflies, so Ana explains that the school sent away for butterfly kits that have everything they need to live for a short time until released.

Not being able to compete with that, I still rattle on about all of the meetings I have scheduled today, but only Ana and Teddy finds it interesting. Phoebe patiently waits for me to finish so she can tell Ana about her ballet class tonight and the recital she is going perform in a few months.

"You are coming to watch me dance too, right Ana," she asks her.

"I wouldn't miss it," Ana says to her.

Ana agreeing to go to Phoebe's recital spurs Teddy to talk about his karate class and I have to gently scold him when gets up and tries to show her his moves.

The fact that they have classes today has slipped my mind and I quickly text Andrea to call and see if Jess can take them for tonight before she makes plans.

"Baby, why don't you ride with the twins since you're coming right back here after work," I tell her and she narrows her eyes at me. "No sense in walking all the way to your car today."

"Baaayybbbyyy," The twins sing at my nickname for Ana.

"Fine," she says and I smirk at getting my way.

I kiss her and Phoebe good bye and high five Teddy as they all get into the elevator accompanied by Anderson.

...

 **Ana's POV**

Well if there was any doubt left, now it has all been made clear when I roll up with the twins in their car in front of the school.

By-passing the employee lounge this morning, I head straight to class.

Sandy won't be back until tomorrow so it's just me and the kids in class today.

The first half of the day goes by smoothly as the class sets up their butterfly kits and start writing what they see in their journals.

...

Jose called for an emergency lunch meeting so I am meeting him and Char at the nearby Subway.

He sighs heavily when we all sit down after getting our sandwiches.

"What happened," I ask him.

"Ricky and I almost broke up," he blurts out.

"Oh no, what did you do," Char asks him.

"Char," I scold her.

"She's right girl I blew it," he says.

"What happened," I ask him.

"I accused him of cheating on me," he tells us.

"What," Char and I say in unison.

"I know, I know," he says putting his hands on his cheeks. "I fucked up."

"What the hell happened," Char asks him.

"Well we were coming down after the best Valentine's Day sex ever and cuddling in the afterglow," he says. "Well Ricky's phone goes off and when he looked to see who it was, I saw the name and it was some guy. He got up out of the bed to run out to talk to him."

"Ooooo," Char says, cringing like she's been hurt.

"Exactly, Gurl," he says. "Well naturally I was pissed and me being me, I had to let him know. I mean you are not just going to do that to me and I'm just going to lie there while you handle your booty call."

"Oh God," I say. "What did you do?"

"I went right out and asked him who the hell he was talking to and when he ignored me, I snatched his phone and started cursing out the guy," he tells us, then stops to take a pull on the straw of his 7up soft drink.

"Well you know he's a counselor at the teen center," he tells us.

Derrick is a social worker and in his spare time he volunteers helping kids who are gay and afraid to come out to their parents. It is something that he is passionate about since his parents disowned him when he came out at the age of seventeen.

"Jose, you didn't," Char says when we both realize what he'd done.

"It was a kid who was in trouble," he tells us. "He hung up and Ricky couldn't get him back. He stormed out without a word to me."

"Well, he had a right to be pissed at you," Char tells him.

"I know," Jose frets. "He was gone all night. He came back early this morning and I begged him for forgiveness and finally after an hour of having big Ricky down my throat, he forgave me, but I still feel like shit."

"Damnit Jose, what were you thinking," Char says. "That man worships you."

"I know, okay," he says, ashamed of himself. "But who the hell answers their phone on Valentine's Day?"

"A guy helping kids in trouble," Char tells him.

"You're not helping, Bitch," he tells her.

"Ana," Char says, turning to me to take over.

"You need to have a grand gesture of apology," I tell him.

"Yes gurl, yes," José says inspired. "I know just the thing. Adele is coming to town and you know Derrick loves Adele as much as I love Madonna. So I was thinking that between the three of us, we could snag tickets."

"It's probably already sold out," I tell him.

"No they are on sale Sunday," he says.

"They sell out in like ten minutes," Char says.

"So we need to be online and in line for these damn tickets," Jose says. "It's time for a sleep out. I figure we camp out at Ticketmaster all Saturday so we can be first in line. We'll have our laptops buying the shit online too. Come hell or high water we are getting those damn tickets."

"I'm in," Char says.

"Me too," I tell him.

"I knew I could count on my gurls," he tells us, finally feeling better.

...

"What the hell is that in your ears," he says to me as I tuck my hair back out of my face to bite my sandwich.

"Earrings," I tell him.

"Now that is love," Char tells me.

"Are you coming home tonight," Jose asks me.

"I am actually going to have dinner at the Greys," I tell them.

"OH MY GOD," Char says.

"It's happeenniinngg," Jose sings.

"What's happening," I ask him.

"The next step girl," he says to me and I frown in confusion causing him to sigh. "Wanting you to meet the family is first, then comes living together, and then comes marriage."

"And then comes Ana with a baby carriage," Char sings and we look at her like she's lost her mind as she shrugs.

"No way," I tell her.

"He's right though, Ana," she says. "No pressure, but if this dinner goes great and his parents love you, he's going to have you moved in within a month."

"You guys are crazy," I tell them. "It's just dinner and besides his mother is the one who invited me."

"OH MY GAWD," Jose says. "It's hhaappeenninng."

"Will you shut up," I tell him.

"What are you going to wear," he says to me and my eyes go wide remembering that I forgot to tell him about Christian's closet.

* * *

 **A/N:I hope you all had a great Valentine's Day!**

 **I didn't realize I'd wrote so much, so once again I have to divide chapters. The Grey dinner is up next and the talk about the V day bet.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	46. Figuring Me Out

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty-Six**

 **Figuring Me Out**

 **Ana's POV**

After two phone consultations with Jose, we decide I should wear a pink chiffon halter dress for dinner. He nearly lost his mind when I told him about "The Closet" he now calls it. He is going to drive me crazy until he gets a look at it for himself. Char suggested we have a couple's night at Escala and I think that would be perfect. I'll have to run it by Christian, but I'm sure he'll like the idea.

All of that nonsense they were saying earlier at lunch has gotten into my head and now my nerves are trying to get the better of me about going over to Christian's parents.

I shake it off as ridiculous. I already met Grace and she seems like a lovely woman. I'm sure Christian's father will be just as welcoming if the way his kids treat people is any judge.

 _It is just dinner Ana, not some relationship test. I'm sure what they were talking about is the farthest thing from everyone's mind, especially Christian's. He is newly divorced for gosh sakes, I know he is not ready to be tied down again so soon, thank God._

The thought of Christian makes me want to go and seek him out.

I leave Phoebe's room after checking on Wilfred like I promised her I would tonight and head for the stairs. I spot him looking out one of the large windows of the great room. He is gorgeous in a chocolate suit which is fitting because I just want to eat him alive most of the time. He turns to look at me in all his sexy yumminess.

 _Thank God he is all mine._

….

 **Christian's POV.**

I wander over to the large window to look out at the city. Ana is nearly ready to go. She just ran upstairs to check on Wilfred.

I smile at the thought of Phoebe when she asked Ana to check on her beloved pet before she left for her mother's earlier. The twins are really making an effort and I check that off as another hurdle we've all overcome.

I pray for smooth sailing from now on. I'm not a superstitious man, but if I had wood near me right now, I would certainly knock on it.

I turn to face Ana when I see her reflection in the window.

"My God she is a dream come true," I say to myself as I watch her descend the stairs looking incredible in her pink dress. She stands next to her nude colored coat and matching heels she left on the bottom stair. She bends to put them on.

"Don't," I tell her walking over to where she is.

She stops and looks at me.

"You are perfection, Baby," I tell her.

She beams at me.

"I was just thinking the same about you," she tells me. "But mine was more eating you like chocolate."

"Mmmmm, something to look forward to later," I tell her.

"Mmmhhhmmm," she tells me. "I want to taste you."

"Fuck, Baby," I groan as my dick is making my pants tight. "You are going to be the death of me."

And to push the knife in deeper she goes and fucking giggles.

 _I swear if she bites that lip, I am taking her to bed, dinner be damned._

I turn up the music that is softly playing around us.

"Dance with me," I tell her as I hold out my hand to her.

She quickly takes it and I pull her into my arms. Sinatra sings Witchcraft and I know Ol' Blue Eyes was certainly singing about my blue eyed girl when he decided to do this song.

I love the feel of her body as it now molds perfectly into mine while we dance. She easily allows me to lead her around the great room.

I spin her out. She twirls gracefully in her bare feet before returning to me again.

She wraps her arm around my shoulders while I hold on to her other hand and press it to my heart.

I rest my forehead on hers as I feel her heat beat in time with mine.

"I could hold you like this forever," I tell her.

"That wouldn't be long enough," she tells me and I smile speechless at her.

…

"Don't be nervous tonight, Baby," I tell her as I take her hand and lead her to my parent's front door. "They already love you."

She nods her head as she looks around at the house and the front grounds. The sun is setting and it's giving off a soft light around us.

"Good evening," Gretchen greets us at the door with her hair in those God awful braided pony tails. She does it discreetly, but I inwardly laugh as she eyes Ana jealously.

I nod my head at her and Ana simply smiles as she looks at her then the foyer.

I can feel her anxiety kick up a notch as she looks around at what in all honesty is a grand mansion. To her I'm sure it is impressive, as it is to most people who enter for the first time, but for me it's just mom and dad's place and my childhood home.

I can't count the many a times Elliot and I came racing through, bouncing our basketballs off the richly painted walls or running on the Italian marble floors with our dirty soccer cleats on after a game, with no more fuss about it than most parents would make.

As big as it is, it is made to feel warm and welcoming. It is a home filled with love.

We make it half way in through the foyer when my mother comes gliding down the stairs in all her glory making a beeline to Ana.

"Ana, how lovely to see you again, Dear," she tells her as she embraces her. "Just as pretty as ever."

"Thank you," Ana says. "Thank you for having me. You look wonderful and your home is amazing."

Mom is about to respond when she is interrupted by Dad rushing out from the sitting room to see Ana.

I roll my eyes at his eagerness as I kiss mom a hello.

I watch him very carefully to see what he actually thinks about Ana. No doubt he would ever be rude to anyone who is a guest in his home, but over the years I've learned to read his signs when he is not pleased with someone.

"You must be Ana," he says to her.

"Yes," Ana says meekly, her sweet smile never fading as she looks up at my Dad. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Grey."

"Oh call me Carrick," he says. He leans forward and kisses her cheek and I relax knowing that he is totally smitten with her.

"She's here," Mia says to the others as she comes bouncing down the stairs to hug Ana.

"Oh great," I groan as Elliot and Kate come hauling ass out of the sitting room already lively from the drinks in their hands.

"The woman of the hour," Elliot says, tugging Ana out of my arms and into his, pissing me off.

"Back off Elliot," Mia scolds him.

"What did I do," he says confused as he is still latched on to Ana. "I'm making her feel welcome."

"You are squashing her," She says, pulling Elliot away from Ana before taking his place and hugging her again.

"Really Mia," Kate says to her as she holds Ana too tight.

"You tell her, Katie," Elliot says to his wife as she comes to his defense.

"Oh for crying out loud," Dad says to the lot of them. "What did I just, not a minute ago, tell you all?"

"To behave ourselves," they all say together.

"Gretchen take their coats," Mom calls her over and she quickly does as she's told.

"Now that we've regained our home training," Dad says to them. "Let's go back into the sitting room."

"Whatever," Elliot grumbles. "I don't know why we have to be so Ps and Qs. It's just Ana."

"Because it is important to make a good impression," Mia says. "No one wants to be around a family of loons."

"And yet here you all are," Dad says to them.

"Don't worry, Ana," Kate says. "The nurse will be around to sedate us soon."

"Yes we are all mad here," Elliot says in his Cheshire cat voice. "I'm mad, You're mad.."

"Enough," Dad says as he shoos them along with his hands failing at pretending not to be amused.

"Come along, love," Dad says, taking Ana from me and leading her into the sitting room.

Mom and I are left shaking our heads.

"Shall we," I say to her jokingly and she laughs.

…..

I thank fuck and God equally at the fact that my grandparents aren't here for this little gathering. Mom wisely left them unawares of this family dinner. Ana would surely run for hills if made to endure the four of them.

Somehow my and Elliot's childhood antics come up and mom seizes on the opportunity to whip out the old photo album.

Mia laughs as Elliot and I groan when she shows pictures of us.

She and Ana are the only ones gushing at how cute I was as a child.

"Now this is my absolute favorite photo of Christian," Mom tells her. "He had just won his third grade spelling bee. He didn't spend a minute studying. He just knew how to sound them all out. He's always been such a smart boy."

She boasts proudly as she looks at the picture.

"Dinner is served," Gretchen tells us, giving Elliot and I a reprieve.

I walk guiding Ana to the formal dining room and pull out her chair helping her to sit down.

"Oh thank God," Kate says as Gretchen sets her plate in front of her. "I haven't had a decent meal today. This morning I was forced to eat sugary eggs for breakfast."

"Aw come on, Babe," Elliot tells her, annoyed as he forks his seared Salmon. "It was an honest mistake. The sugar looks just like the salt."

"And you couldn't read the label that clearly said 'Salt' as it sat next to the pepper," Kate asks him and we all snicker.

"I'll get it right in the morning," he assures her.

"I think this bet is just to torture me," Kate complains.

"I'm the one that has to get up and cook at five in the morning," Elliot tells her.

"I'm the one who has to eat it," Kate counters.

"Well, Son," Dad says. "That's a lesson in romance. You can't take your girl to the Pizza Haven and give her flannel pajamas on the day of love."

"Oh listen to this now," Elliot says. "It was the only place we could get into and I bought her sexy lingerie."

He pats Kate's back as she chokes on her wine at that last part.

"Having all my stuff out is not SEXY, El," Kate pouts.

Dad looks at mom and she winks at him apparently pleased with his Valentine's Day plans.

"How did you get into Canlis anyway, Dad," Elliot says, eyeing me accusingly.

"A man never reveals his secrets, Son," Dad says and I laugh.

I touch Ana's leg as I think about our wonderful Valentine's Day weekend.

The feel of her soft skin under my hand turns me on and I slowly inch my hand up her legs to the warmth I feel radiating between them.

She closes her legs and quickly reaches down to discreetly push my hand away before I get too far.

"Well, we've been made green with envy over Ana's valentine's day," mom says. "It's all we've been talking about."

"Did you just love it Ana," Mia asks her, dreamily.

"I truly did," Ana says giddily. "It was so romantic. I felt like the most important woman in the world."

"Awwww," the women all say, longingly and I smile, pleased with myself.

"Mia what are we doing this weekend," Elliot asks her, turning the conversation away from Valentine's Day and his huge fuck up.

"I don't know," she says, thinking about it. "We should all go clubbing."

"Great," Kate says. "What do you guys say?"

"Oh I am trying for Adele tickets this weekend," Ana answers.

"I love Adele," Mia says.

"Jose wants tickets so we are going to camp out all night at Ticketmaster," she tells her.

I look at her like she has lost her damn mind.

 _No way in hell is she going to be sleeping out on the Goddamn street for tickets to see some Goddamn show._

 _And why is this the first time I'm hearing about this shit._

Sensing the angry shift in me, she glances my way as she sips her wine.

"That sounds like fun," Mom says to her and Ana nods, "as long as you're careful."

"We do it from time to time," Ana says for my benefit. "It's a very safe area with lots of other people around."

"Well that's good," Dad tells her.

"Christian tells us that you've been taught to be cautious," he continues.

"Yes," Ana says, smiling about her dads. "My Dads are very….into safety."

"And one is a musician," Mom asks.

"Yes his band helps to raise money for a foundation he started helping military servicemen and their families," she says proudly.

"Oh how wonderful," Mom says impressed. "That is very important work. We have an upcoming Gala here for the foundation we created for mothers in need, Coping Together, of course you will attend."

"I would love to," Ana tells her, excited.

I have been sitting seething with anger all this time and unable to help myself, I rise from the table.

"I'm going to show Ana the grounds," I tell everyone, excusing us as the dinner table is being cleared.

"Of course, Dear," Mom tells me.

I walk her outside of the sliding patio door taking the nearest path away from the house.

"Were you going to tell me you plan on sleeping on the street this weekend," I ask her as we walk toward the water of the Puget Sound.

We are now out of everyone's view and earshot.

"It's not how you make it sound, Christian," she tells me. "And of course I was going to tell you. I just got side tracked with meeting your parents."

"No matter how you word it, you are still sleeping on the street and I won't allow it, Anastasia," I tell her angrily. The look on her face lets me know that was the completely wrong thing to say, but right now I don't give a fuck.

"You have got to be kidding me," she says angrily as she snatches her hand away from mine. "First of all don't call me 'Anastasia.'" She repeats her name in the authoritative tone I used to address her.

"And since when do you get to 'allow' me to do anything," she asks me.

"Since you insist on sleeping on the street putting yourself in danger for Adele tickets," I tell her.

"I won't be on the street, I'll be at Ticketmaster," she explains to me. "I won't be in danger. Char and Jose and at least a thousand other people will be there. And police will be patrolling..."

"I'll just buy you all the tickets," I interrupt her.

"You will do no such thing," she screeches. "And don't you dare call José to rally him in your corner."

"Ana, now you are just being ridiculous," I scold her. "I can have those tickets in your hand within the hour…"

"It's not just about the tickets," she says. "It's about the experience…"

"Of sleeping on the street," I bellow.

"It's fun, Christian," she tells me.

"Ana, it's cold and rainy," I yell. "And I don't give a fuck how many people are out there, **my** fucking girlfriend won't be one of them!"

"Oh my God," she puts her hands to her head in frustration and I share in the sentiment as I am equally frustrated. The thought of her out there all night is going to drive me fucking crazy. "Christian..."

"Unless you are about to tell me you agree with me, I don't want to hear it, Ana," I tell her.

She starts to speak only to stop and think and tries to speak again.

"Okay," she finally says, coming up with something. "We are supposed to be **compromising** in this relationship right?"

I raise an angry eyebrow as she tries to throw my words back at me.

"Here me out," she says. "In the spirit of compromise, why don't you check it out and see for yourself how safe it is?"

"I can do that," I tell her, liking the sound of that. "And if I don't think it's safe?"

"You will," she tells me, hopeful.

I sigh as my anger dissipates at the sight of her and how much she wants to do this.

"Ryan is staying with you," I tell her and she frowns, disapprovingly. " **Compromise** , Ana."

She huffs at the word as she thinks of her next move.

"Fine," she agrees, relenting, but then thinks better about it. "In his SUV parked slightly away. But he is not to spy on me and report to you my every move because that is just disturbing."

"How else am I to know you're okay," I ask her.

"Call **me** ," she says.

I nod, catching her meaning.

"I can live with that," I tell her.

I don't know why she just won't let me buy her the fucking tickets that she insists on putting herself out on the streets for. I am all about experiences, but her getting those tickets that way is a long shot.

I can make one call and get her the damn premium package so she doesn't have to spend her money.

"Ana, how are you paying for your ticket," I ask her, upset now.

"Oh," she says, guiltily. "Well it's not really for me. I don't want to go, it's for Derrick."

 _You have got to be fucking kidding me._

I shake my head at her in disbelief and frustration. She giggles at me and puts her hand back in mine as we continue on with our walk.

"What the hell am I going to do with you," I ask her.

"You are doing a great job figuring me out so far," she tells me.

And here I thought she was the one figuring me out.

"Wow," she says as she finally gets a look at the grounds. I can't help but chuckle at her.

….

 **Ana's POV**

And I thought seeing where Christian worked at Grey House was impressive, but to see where he grew up was mind blowing.

"Your parents are wonderful," I tell Christian as we sit in the back seat of Taylor's SUV. "It must have been great growing up with them."

"We weren't always as close as we are now," he confides in me. "It was hard for me to open up to them for a long time. I was really fucked up and lashing out every time they went to touch me didn't help."

"How did you get over it," I ask him.

"I wish I could say all the therapist I was forced to see did the trick, but it was really my jackass of a brother," he laughs. "My parents avoided touching me. They couldn't stand the way I cried out in pain. But Elliot had no such concern. He figured out the only way I would stop being afraid of being touched **was** to be touched. He would throw me on the ground and sit on me, putting his ass right on my chest."

"Oh my God," I say pissed at Elliot until Christian laughs.

"I had a temper and he knew it would piss me off," he explains. "I was more pissed than pained and eventually the touch didn't bother me as much as it did trying to kick his ass. We would wrestle. It got out a lot of my aggression. It was the best, especially when I started winning."

I smile that he is smiling at the memory.

"Then when we got Mia," he continues. "Her touch was a lot gentler and eventually mom and dad started touching me."

"It still bothers you sometimes though doesn't it," I ask him remembering what he told me the first time I saw his chest.

"It does," he simply says.

"But not with you," he says taking my hand in his and kissing it. "I crave your touch, so don't start pulling away from me."

"I won't," I tell him.

….

"I'm so tired," I whine as Christian and I dry off from our shower.

He goes over and slips on a fresh pair of boxer briefs while I just get in the bed naked since the twins aren't here to walk in on us tonight.

"Jesus, Baby," Christian says to me. "I want to let you sleep but it's going to be impossible with you naked next to me as hard as I am right now.

"Really," I say to him.

"Mhm," he says to me and I glance down at the large tent in his boxers.

"So why don't we pick up where we left off," he tells me. "Are you still wanting to eat me like chocolate, Baby."

"Very much," I tell him as I get out of bed and stand in front of him, suddenly not feeling tired at all.

I lift my hands lightly touching his chest and watch as his eyes darken in unmistakable desire for me.

Leaving my hands in place, I kneel down on my knees in front of him. I run my hands along his body and tug down his underwear.

"Fuck, Baby," he says when he springs free and I take his erection in my hands and pull it into my mouth.

I was just finding my rhythm sucking him off when a knock on the door stops me cold and I freeze with him still deep in my throat.

"What," Christian barks, pissed at the interruption.

"Downstairs concierge rang. Miss. Steel's father and step father are wanting to see her," Taylor says from behind the closed door. "They are quite insistent that they be allowed up, Sir."

"Shit!"

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Well what on earth is up with the dads.**

 **To the guest reviewer who wants to know if the 15th was a holiday for Seattle schools. I would think so. It was for us here in California, but I didn't see the point in writing about it.**

 **Also don't mind my little review for the story, that was just me messing with someone so please ignore lol.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	47. My Two Dads

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty-Seven**

 **My Two Dads**

 **Ana's POV**

"So why don't we pick up where we left off," he tells me. "Are you still wanting to eat me like chocolate, Baby?"

"Very much," I tell him as I get out of bed and stand in front of him, suddenly not feeling tired at all.

I lift my hands lightly touching his chest and watch as his eyes darken in unmistakable desire for me.

Leaving my hands in place, I kneel down on my knees in front of him. I run my hands along his body and tug down his underwear.

"Fuck, Baby," he says when he springs free and I take his erection in my hands and pull it into my mouth.

I was just finding my rhythm sucking him off when a knock on the door stops me cold and I freeze with him still deep in my throat.

"What," Christian barks, pissed at the interruption.

"Downstairs concierge rang. Miss. Steel's father and step father are wanting to see her," Taylor says from behind the closed door. "They are quite insistent that they be allowed up, Sir."

"Shit," Christian says. "Let them up."

His long hard erection deflates in my mouth. I let him go and get up to get some clothes on.

We hurry to get dressed: Me in black jeans and white T shirt and Christian in blue jeans and blue pull over sweater.

We make it out of the bedroom just in time to hear my dads in the foyer talking to Taylor. To my relief they sound happy.

"Well Goddamn," I hear my dad say. "Jason Taylor, as I live and breathe. How the hell are you, Brother?"

"I can't believe it," Ray says. "Last I saw, you were getting an honorable discharge from Desert Storm."

"I'm a little longer in the tooth now," we hear Taylor say.

"As we all are," Ray tells him.

We hear Taylor laugh and I look at Christian in question but it is clear he had no idea my two dads knew Taylor.

"So where is this Grey," Ray says and I roll my eyes as I leave Christian in the great room to talk to my dads.

"Hi you two," I greet them.

"Hey Babygirl," dad says hugging me.

"Hey there, Annie," Ray says following suit.

"What are you two doing here in the middle of the night," I ask them.

"We just came by to see you," Dad says, smiling.

"Mhm," I tell him as I walk them into the great room. "Um, you remember Christian?"

"Sure we do," Dad says going over to shake his hand.

"Mr. Lambert," Christian says quite confident and very respectful. He looks so hot. I resist the urge to swoon at his tone.

 _Get a grip Ana!_

"Frank is fine," Dad says. "You are taller than you looked on that little computer screen."

I try not to laugh as Christian towers over my dad.

"I can still kick your ass if you step out of line though," he adds with a smile, but I know he's serious.

"Frank, I don't doubt," Christian tells him.

I push Ray forward as he eyes Christian suspiciously.

"I guess you can call me Ray," he tells Christian.

"Nice to finally meet you in person, Ray," Christian tells him.

"Why don't we all sit down," I say.

We thank Gail as she brings in coffee, tea and a snack tray for us.

I pour my dad and Christian each a cup of coffee while Ray and I sip our tea.

"We won't stay long," Dad assures us. "We're just passing by on our way up to Montesano and Ray here thought it be a good idea to stop by and see you, Sweetpea. I told him to wait till morning, but you know Ray. Once he gets an idea in his head, he's like a dog with a bone. "

"We went by your place Annie and Jose told us you'd be over here," Ray gruffs. "It's awful late don't you think?"

"Late for what," I ask him.

"To be visiting," he says.

"I'm not….No it's not too late," I tell him with a stammer as he has caught me off guard. "And I can say the same for you two."

"You're here," he counters. " **Late**."

"Oh for Pete sake," I say in frustration. "I'm sure you already know I'm spending the night. I am a grown woman, ya know?"

"Ray, Frank," Christian starts after he sips his coffee. "I have a little girl myself so I know just how you feel, finding out that Ana's…here. But I want you to know that I would never do anything to hurt or disrespect your daughter. We are in a serious relationship and I am fully committed to making her happy."

"I got your number, Grey, or Christian," Dad says. "You're preaching to the chair where I'm concerned. It's this bone head that can't let his Annie grow up."

He thumbs a hand at a put out Ray.

"Call me old fashioned but I just don't think its right you spending the night over here like this," Ray says. "You have an apartment. You need to stay in it. Now get your things so we can go. We'll drop you back off at home and we'll have a nice visit."

"Ray," I squeal like I did when I was a kid as I jump up from the couch. "You are embarrassing me."

Everyone else gets up along with me. For Christian its manners, but for my dads it's to get the hell out of my way because they know I am angry.

"Has that ever stopped me before," Ray tells me and no it hasn't.

"Ray, it's late," Taylor steps in out of nowhere to control the situation. "Miss. Steele has a long day of work tomorrow. Why don't we let her stay and I will guarantee that she'll be just fine here tonight."

Ray eyes me and I cross my arms in defiance as Christian and my dad watch amused. I am a second away from tantruming like the two year old that only Raymond Steele can reduce me to be. Hurricane Ana was my nickname at those moments.

"Fine," he gives in. "Frank and I will stay at your place tonight. I want you there tomorrow after work, young lady, and we'll speak about this then."

"Fine," I say back to him, pissed off.

"Taylor, I want to talk to you," he says, storming off without another word.

"Please excuse us," Taylor says making his apologies as he follows Ray towards the elevators.

"Whelp," Dad says, being the only one left. "I guess we'll see you all tomorrow."

"Dad will you please talk to him," I say as he kisses my cheek.

He nods.

"Don't worry 'bout it, Babygirl," he tells me. "He'll get over it. He just wasn't ready for all of this."

He says looking around and motioning between Christian and I.

"It's my fault. I should have prepared him," Dad says. "He can't handle change too well. And they say I'm crazy."

He laughs as I shake my head at him.

"Sorry for the interruption," he says, shaking Christian's hand. "Take good care of her tonight, Christian."

"Daaad," I say turning red.

"Aw hell, I didn't mean it that way," Dad says when he realized the innuendo.

"I know exactly what you mean, Frank," Christian tells him. "And I certainly will. And no need to apologize you and Ray are welcome anytime."

"Call first," I add, as I kiss him goodbye.

…

"I'm so sorry, Christian," I tell him as we head back to his bedroom.

"Don't be, Baby," he tells me. "I knew it was coming eventually. Do me a favor, in about fifteen years, I'm going to need you to remind me how it feels to be on this end of things when I get the urge to do that to Phoebe."

"Deal," I tell him, laughing trying not to let it show that him mentioning us together in fifteen years has my heart beating fast.

…..

 **Taylor's POV**

I lead a pissed off Ray Steele along with the more mellowed out Frank Lambert back to my apartment.

Damn, if I'd known Ana was related to these two, I would have warned the boss, especially about Ray. He is as hard ass as they come and he hates damn near everybody.

"What's going on," Gail asks me as I go to close our bedroom door. She is fresh out of the shower and she smells good.

"Just some old friends here to see me, Sweetheart," I say, kissing her. "I'll be back soon. Don't you dare go to sleep on me woman. I have plans for you tonight."

I leave my reason for living and go in the living room to find Ray and Frank. I find them looking around the apartment.

Grey didn't spare any expense in his design of Escala. He actually bought both penthouses on this floor and converted one to a security room and a two bedroom living quarters for Gail and I. Once she and I became involved we just started sleeping together.

"So this is how the one percent lives huh, Taylor," Frank tells me as he looks around.

"I don't know about that, but it's a good deal," I tell him. "The pay is great, the work is steady, and the boss is fair."

I go over to my rather impressive bar that I am extremely proud of and offer them a drink.

"Hell yes," Frank says. I grab the Jack Daniels and sit down with them at the table.

"So," Ray says as he downs his Jack straight up. "This Grey. I know he's your boss and your loyalty is to him. But brother to brother, should we be worried about our little girl?"

I down my own drink and pour us all another before I speak.

"I've been Christian Grey's head of security and CPO for the past five years. I've seen a lot," I start. "In fact not much gets past me. Granted, I don't know much about what goes on between the two of them in their private moments, but I can tell you that he is a pretty decent guy and from what I've observed, your daughter is very happy with him."

"But he was married when they started out," Ray says. "Now that still doesn't sit well with me."

"Come on Ray," I tell him. "You know how that shit goes. Look, I can't tell you his business, but it's not all black and white. Trust me when I say that he was then and is now very respectful of your daughter's virtue. Your daughter is no push over. She wouldn't have put up with that shit even if he did try to do something with her then, which he didn't."

Frank sighs as he takes a gulp of his whisky.

"I take you at your word, Jason," he says. "I trust my daughter's instincts and you know as well as I do Ray that if Annie had a bit of concern, she'd be out the door."

"He's not an overbearing bastard is he," Ray asks. "All of this shit here can be very intimidating to a small town girl. I don't want him trying to change my Annie to meet some high class standard he thinks she needs to be on his arm."

"Overbearing," I repeat as I laugh. "Let me put it to you like this, Ray: The saying is true that a girl falls for a guy just like her Daddy."

Frank, getting it right away, laughs.

"He is overbearing," I admit. "But it's with the best of intentions, believe me. I wouldn't be working for him if he was the type of man that would hurt a woman in anyway. I wouldn't tolerate it. And that girl of yours has him in line pretty damn good."

"Are you vouching for the man, Taylor," Ray asks me, knowing that my word is my bond.

"I am," I tell him straight up.

"All right then," Ray says. "Until I learn otherwise, I guess that's enough for me."

"Good," Frank says. "You need to get the stick out of your ass and get use to this shit. 'Cause I don't think it's changing anytime soon."

"Aw HELL," Ray says, still not liking the sound of that.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I head off to the kitchen to get a drink of water and to call Taylor.

"All clear," I ask Taylor as I call him on his cell. I want to make sure Frank and Ray are gone before I even think of touching Ana tonight.

"All clear, Sir," he tells me a bit out of breath.

Shit, I think I just caught him and Gail in the act.

"Thank you, Taylor," I tell him, trying to keep my voice even as I am now amused. "We'll speak more in the morning."

I let him go so I can go handle my own bit of business.

"Well," Ana asks me when I return to the bed room and strip out of my sweater and jeans.

She's been simmering on the back burner for little more than an hour and she is just about to boil over.

"I'm all yours, Baby," I tell her as I stand before her naked.

"Yes," she says as she runs into me.

"Mmmmm," I moan when she kisses me full on the mouth. I never thought I would like the taste of tea, but mixed with Ana, it is divine.

"Are you horny, Baby," I tease her, already well aware of the answer.

I knew she was when I felt that heat between her legs at my parent's dinner table earlier tonight.

She nods her head. Her baby blue eyes dark with need.

"Do you want me to make you cum," I ask her as I run my hands up her thighs. She's put on an short little white satin nighty and damn she looks good in it.

"Yes, please," she breaths out and I just know she is dripping wet for me right now.

I slide the straps of her gown down free of her arms to suck on her tits, making her moan.

"How," I ask her and she frowns in confusion.

Fuck she's so new at this. I love that about her.

"Do you want me to taste you…" I ask her, making it clearer.

"I want you to fuck me," she says, catching on quickly. "I want you inside me."

"You want what inside of you," I tell her. "Say it. What do you want me to fuck you with?"

"Your dick," she whispers. "I want you to fuck me with your dick."

"Do you want me to fuck you hard with my dick, Baby," I ask her.

"Yes," she says quickly. "I want you to fuck me hard with your dick."

"Damn, Baby," I love hearing you talk dirty like that.

"Fuck me hard, Christian," she tells me. "I want to feel your dick throbbing inside of me."

"Fuck," I hiss as I toss her backwards on the bed.

She lands with a yelp.

I grab her legs and tug her toward me, making her short gown bunch up above her waist exposing her glistening pussy still slick from her spa visit. Her arms go up above her head as I pull her forcefully towards me.

I start to finger her.

"Fuck Baby you are so wet," I say to her as she moans.

"Oh Christian, please," she begs.

I grab on to her ankles and spread her legs open.

In one forceful thrust I am balls deep inside her.

"Oh God," she moans out in ecstasy.

"Is this what you needed, Baby," I ask her.

"Yes, yes, yes," she cries out.

"Fuck, Ana," I moan as she cums.

"Oh GodohGod," she continues to moan as I pound into her. The sight of her tits bouncing as her head is thrown back and her back is arched is quickly driving me to the edge.

"Again, Ana," I tell her and she shakes her head no.

"Come on, Baby, give it to me," I tell her as I pound into her.

"OhhhhmyyyyGoddd," she moans as she cums again hard.

"Aw fuck, Baby," I say as she squeezes my dick and he explodes inside of her. Throbbing and sputtering his cum in her tight pussy.

"Ana, God, Ana," I moan out her name as wave after wave hits me.

Knocked out after her second orgasm, I clean her up and put her to bed.

"I love you, Baby," I whisper to her as she lies sleeping deeply in my arms.

"Hmmm," her contented sigh is her only reply.

...

 **Tuesday, February 16, 2016**

 **Christian's POV**

" Mr. Grey," Andrea's voice comes over the intercom. "Mr. Frank Lambert is here to see you."

I left word with Taylor that if he or Ray came here to see me, to send them right up.

This morning he gave me an earful about Ana's dads. Taylor never talks much about his time in the military, but he did tell me they served briefly in the Gulf war together and if he had to pick two men to have his back in any given situation, it would be those two.

That says a lot coming from Taylor and I owe the man a raise for getting Ray Steele off of my back.

"Send him in," I tell her, "Have Ros take my ten o'clock and no interruptions."

"Yes, Sir," she says. It always goes without saying that the twins and Ana are to be put through no matter what I'm doing.

"I know you're a busy man," Frank says coming in. I stand and walk over to shake his hand. "I just wanted to take but a minute."

"Not at all," I tell him offering him a seat as I take my position back at my desk. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, that gorgeous assistant of yours already offered," he lets me know.

"Good," I tell him.

"I'm not much on small talk, so I'll just cut right to it," he tells me. "I talk to my babygirl once or twice a week and each time you come up in conversation, her voice gets all light and airy when she speaks of you. She cares a lot about you and you seem to make her happy."

"I do my best," I tell him, my heart warming at the thought of her voice as she speaks about me. "I truly care for her. I love her, Frank."

He nods.

"I'm not as nailed down to societal rules as Ray is," He tells me. " I would never deny someone loving Ana, especially when it seems to be doing her so much good."

"I appreciate that, Frank," I tell him. "And I can also understand Ray's concerns."

He nods.

"Ana's mother put the poor guy through the ringer," he tells me. "She is a piece of work that Carla, I swear."

He laughs bitterly.

"Ana doesn't talk much about her," I tell him, hoping to gain some insight.

"I'm not surprised," he tells me. "She put Ana through a special brand of hell. Beat her down emotionally, sometimes physically. That bitch made it her mission to let Ana know she was unwanted, unwelcomed, and unloved by her. Ana was nothing but a burden to Carla from day one. She would address her as The Mistake more times than not. The only reason she kept her around as long as she did was she wanted the child support and whatever extras she could get from the government. Of course she didn't use any of it to actually take care of Ana. Ray and I always made sure she got what she needed as far as clothes and school and things."

I try to sit unfazed, but with every word out of Frank's mouth, my rage is building.

"Ana told me that you tried to get custody of her when she was younger," I tell him and he nods.

"Carla was married to Ray when I knocked her up," he tells me. "I didn't know she was married at the time and when I found out it was my army buddy, Ray, I was pissed, but what was done was done. I thought she would be a good mother to Ana, but then when Ray finally got fed up with her cheating and left, I found out Ana was never a priority to her. He had stayed as long as he did because he loved Ana and wanted to make sure she was cared for. I petitioned the court. I was pretty fucked up in the head with my PTSD so that was a no go. Ray and I stayed close to Ana and in turn close to one another."

He pauses to think.

"I was and am grateful for Ray for taking her in the way he did when I wasn't in the right frame of mind to help her," he says.

I nod in understanding.

"It wasn't my intention to tell you all of this," he laughs. "But I need you to understand where Ana is coming from and what you are in for with her."

"I'm not sure I follow," I tell him.

"Ana is a great girl," he says. "I don't have to tell you that."

"No," I tell him.

"As great as she is, she comes with a lot of built in insecurities and walls that you are going to have a time breaking down," he warns me. "She never felt like she belonged anywhere or that she was worth much, as much as Ray and I loved her and told her different, it's not easy for a girl when she has to question why her mother never loved her. Of course it is internalized as her not being good enough instead of her mother just being a mess. It made her vulnerable to..."

"Travis Carson," I spit the name out bitterly.

"Yeah," he simply says his own anger barely in check. "Bastard took advantage of her heart and her wanting to be loved. I would have shot that bastard right between the eyes if Ray hadn't tackled me. Not that I go around picking off Ana's suitors, so don't worry 'bout it."

"That is good to know," I tell him, sticking a finger in the front of my collar, loosening my tie that has suddenly become too tight.

He laughs.

"I gotta go rescue Ana from Ray," he jokes. "It was good seeing you in person. I want you to come on down to LA. Ana says you're good on keyboard. I would love for you to sit in with me and the guys."

"I look forward to doing that real soon," I tell him and he nods.

"You're alright with me, Christian," he says getting up to leave. "Just keep treating my little girl right."

"I plan to, Frank," I tell him.

….

 **Ana's POV**

"I'm going to steal that jacket," Sandy says to me as I put it on to go outside.

It is a brown leather jacket that I have matched with my blue turtle neck sweater, black pants, and brown ankle boots from "The Closet."

I didn't want to wait until after work to talk with Ray so I asked him to meet me here at work for lunch.

I am meeting him where he's parked so that he bypasses the front office and just comes right to my class.

"Hi Ray," I greet him with a hug when he gets out of his car.

"Hey, Annie," he says hugging me back. "You look great, girl."

"Thanks," I beam.

We walk back to my classroom together. He is impressed with the school and can see why I love working here since I've always been fond of kids.

"Was it really necessary to show up like that last night," I tell him as we sit at my desk eating the stir fry he picked up.

"Yes it was," he tells me. "You hardly know the guy."

"I know him well enough and I trust him," I tell him. "And before you throw Travis in my face, he is nothing like that."

"I would never throw that bastard up in your face," he tells me. "But I do want to be damn sure nothing like that ever happens again. Now this guy seems well enough, but I'm worried about him being married…"

"Ray," I tell him. "He never hid being married from me, but he was divorcing when we met. Even so, he was very respectful of his vows and of me, you **know** all of this. You were fine with it at Christmastime. Why is it a problem all of a sudden?"

He sighs.

"Is it because you know I'm spending the night at his place now," I ask him.

"I don't like the idea of you spending the night like that, Annie," he tells me. "He needs to make an honest woman out of you. I don't want you getting a reputation."

"You can't be serious," I say in disbelief.

"Dad," I say. "He is my boyfriend. I mean…people have sex with their boyfriends and they spend the night over their houses. It doesn't make me a harlot."

He sighs again.

"I do remember what you and dad taught me you know. I am still your daughter," I assure him.

"What **are** his intentions," he asks me. "Has he told you he wants to make this a honorable union, or is he just using you to get whatever his wife's name was out of his system?"

"Dad," I say to him.

"I will not allow you to be some man's rebound," he tells me.

"That is far from the case," I tell him. "Honestly, I don't know what's going to happen with Christian and I. But we will figure it out."

"Annie," he starts and I interrupt him.

"I know okay," I tell him. "I know you worry, but you are going to have to trust me to handle my own life now, the good and the bad. But, I will still call you if ever I need my daddies though."

I laugh and he joins me.

"You're serious about this guy, then," he tells me and I nod yes.

"Aw, hell, Annie. I just always thought you'd eventually come back home to Montesano after a while," he says, sadly. "Now you have more reasons to stay here."

"Dad," I say turning into a six year old again in response to his sadness. "You and Dad will always be my home, but my place is here now. I love it here and I would love it even if Christian wasn't here, but I am sure glad he is. I just feel like I belong here, Dad, and I don't want to give that feeling up."

"I get that," he says. "I am glad you feel you've found your place. I just miss you something fierce, Annie."

"I miss you too," I tell him.

I get up to give him a hug just when my door opens.

Ray and I look to see Larry standing there glaring at us.

"Larry," I say as I let go of Ray.

"Another one," he says spitefully and I feel Ray bristle.

"This is my father," I correct him. "Can I help you with something?"

"Another time," he says and quickly leaves.

"Who the hell was that," Ray says to me.

"Assistant principle," I tell him. "And before you work yourself up, Christian already did a background check."

"I like that guy of yours more and more," he says and I laugh.

We look as the door opens again to see my dad standing there with Amber.

"Thank you for your help, Amber," Dad says to her. "Be sure to give me a call now, when you're down my way."

I roll my eyes as Amber takes his phone number and giggles like an idiot.

 _I really hope I don't sound like that when I giggle at Christian._

"Yes, thank you, Amber," I tell her. "For helping, **MY DAD**."

"Right," she says, catching my meaning about the girlfriend code she is breaking, but she keeps his number anyway. "See you later, Ana."

She makes her retreat.

"Well you two seemed to have made your peace," Dad says looking between Ray and I. "I don't see any signs of a tantrum."

"I think our babygirl has finally grown up," Ray says winking at me.

"Hallelujah," Dad says, holding his hands up in praise. "He has seen the light."

"I'm going to knock yours out if you keep that up," Ray threatens him.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Well the bad new is I had to split the chapter, but the good news is I should be updating again soon.**

 **Honestly, this story was not suppose to continue on past New Years. I don't know what happened, but I'm just going to go with it.**

 **Question: Can you include what Carrick and Grace thought of Ana? Answer: Not to give the plot away, but they will have to talk to Ana about how they feel about her when things come to a head.**

 **Please overlook mistakes. I really didn't proof read this. Not that it helps catch everything anyway lol.**

 **Thank you all for reading and reviewing.**


	48. You Are What You Eat

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty-Eight**

 **You Are What You Eat**

 **...**

 **Christian's POV**

I called it a day shortly after two p.m.

Once Frank left, I was not able to concentrate for any longer than that. My mind kept going back to what he told me about Ana growing up with Carla.

He brought up feelings about my own birth mother and how I felt unworthy of love for most of my childhood because of how she allowed me to be treated.

I am consumed with rage that Ana had to go through with that on top of having to endure Travis Fucking Carson.

I asked Gail to stick around until the twins come home and let them know I just went for a run.

Rarely do I run in the afternoon, but I need to clear my head and burn off some of this negative energy before I see the twins. They are quick to pick up on my moods.

It is starting to pour down rain, so I pull up the hood of my gray hoodie over my head and run faster.

Taylor is not far behind me. He is wisely keeping his distance from me right now as I try to clear my mind. I am beyond thankful that Ray was able to take Ana in the way he did. I just wish it could have been sooner.

I think I've done a good job of penetrating most of the defenses she's built up to protect herself over the years. I know she pulls back when she gets overwhelmed and it's hard for her to accept that I truly love her. She is aware of it and I know she is working on it with Townsend.

She asked me to be patient with her and that is exactly what I'm going to do as long as she doesn't pull back completely. If only there was a way to show her how much she means to me. I know she loved Valentine's Day, but she deserves more than just the material trappings of love.

I quickly formulate a plan in my head:

 **Operation Make Ana Feel My Love.**

 **Step one: Be patient**

 **Step Two: Worship the shit out of her.**

 **Step Three: Don't overwhelm her.**

 _Now that is the hard part. The only way I can show her how much I love her is to overwhelm her. I just don't know any other way._

 _Scratch that._

 **Step Three: Help her get use to me overwhelming her.**

 _That's the way._

Feeling my mood shift now that I have a plan of attack, I head back to Escala. The kids should be just about finishing up their homework right about now.

"Hi Daddy," Phoebe says when I walk into the kitchen. Like I suspected, she and Teddy are busy with their homework.

"Hi Dad," Teddy says.

"Hey you two," I tell them as I pull off my wet hoodie.

"You're all wet," Phoebe says to me and I laugh.

"I'm going to go shower and I'll be back to help you with your homework," I tell them.

I head to my bathroom, taking off my wet clothes as I go and stop when I hear the shower running.

I open the door to find the most glorious sight of my life.

Ana is naked and wet in the shower.

I quickly strip off my boxers and slide in behind her.

"Hi," she says as I warp my arms around her.

"This is exactly what I needed right now," I tell her as I press her into me.

"Bad day," she asks me, as she rest her head on my shoulder and I nuzzle her neck.

"It's the best day now, Baby," I tell her. "I'm loving you being here."

"Thank the twins," she says. "They just assumed I would be here for dinner and I didn't have the heart to disappoint them."

"Thank you twins," I say, as I kiss her shoulder and she giggles.

"And my dads are on their way to Montesano," she tells me. "You will be pleased to know that Ray has come back around again."

"Really," I tell her, surprised.

"Yes," she says. "He just was upset that you were stealing me away."

"I can so relate to that," I tell her. "I love that you are here, Baby."

"Me too," she tells me. "I love you."

"Me too," I repeat to her.

…..

Ana left me to finish up my shower when things got a little too heated between us. Seeing her here is exactly what I needed to help get my head back on straight.

I get dressed and walk through the great room.

Obviously finished with their homework, I hear the twins chatter coming from the kitchen along with the unmistakable sound of pots and pans being moved around.

I frown wondering what the hell Gail is up to that has it so noisy in there.

I enter the kitchen and stop short when I see Ana attempting to cook dinner and the twin's busy helping her.

They all freeze when they see me standing there.

"Hi, Daddy," Phoebe says to me as she smiles. Her face is streaked with the flour she's sifting.

"Hey, Babydoll," I tell her.

"We are making dinner," Teddy says. He has some kind of dough cutter, pressing it into a large sheet of dough.

"Great," I tell him. "You guys need some help?"

"No, it's a surprise," Phoebe exclaims.

"Why don't you go and relax," Ana adds, as she tries to work the large mixer.

"Okay," I say, trying not to laugh at the adorable trio. "I'll be in my office."

They all nod simultaneously and continue on with their work.

I take out my cell phone and snap a quick picture of them all together before I retreat.

I shoot it off to Jose asking if he could do something with it since Kate has been raving on about his work that is now decorating the walls of her and Elliot's place. She's even going to do an arts and entertainment piece on him at his gallery showing.

He quickly text me back. After he gushes over the photo, he says he'll have it enhanced and framed for me. I insist on paying for his services but he flat out refuses. I'll be sure to buy a couple of extra pieces at his show anyway though.

I turn on my computer and absorb myself in work, trying to put a dent in what I didn't get to earlier today.

"Grey," I answer when my phone rings.

"Hey, Christian," I hear Jess on the line. "I was hoping that I could take the kids to New York this weekend?"

"Of course," I tell her.

"If the jet is available, we'll leave Friday night and I'll have them back Sunday night," she tells me.

"Everything will be ready," I tell her. "Any special reason for the trip?"

"No," she says. "Just wanting to go, why?"

"The twins said Mrs. Beachum had them on Valentine's Day…" I start.

"I went out with a friend," she sighs. "I'm not going to make the same stupid mistake twice, Christian."

"I didn't mean to imply you would," I tell her. "I'm not trying to pry, Jess. I'm just trying to protect the kids."

"Where are they," she asks, changing the subject.

"Helping Ana with dinner," I tell her.

"You are spoiled rotten," she tells me and I laugh.

"I never got a chance to thank you for talking to the twins about her, by the way," I tell her.

"I didn't want them struggling with it," she says.

"I'll be sure to return the favor when the time comes," I assure her.

"Thank you," she tells me. "Look, I know I gave you every reason to be cautious of my judgments. Hopefully I can get you to stop doubting me one day."

"I'm almost there," I tell her, honestly. "Have fun in New York."

I hang up with her and try to focus on my work once again, but after that phone call it proves difficult.

...

"Christian," I hear Ana and I look up to see her standing in the door way.

"Come on in, Baby," I tell her.

"Dinner is just about ready," she tells me. "The twins are getting cleaned up."

"What brought this surprise on," I ask her as I round my table to take her in my arms.

"Well Gail asked us what we wanted for dinner and the kids just thought it would be great to surprise you and cook," she tells me. " I think you are going to like what we've made."

"I have no doubt that I will," I tell her.

"You okay," she asks, studying me.

"We'll talk about it later," I tell her, not wanting to ruin the surprise with my foul mood. "Right now, I'm hungry."

"Okay," she laughs. "Let's get some food into you."

….

 **Ana's POV**

I sit Christian at the table while I plate up a serving tray full of food and take it over to Gail and Taylor. We promised Gail when we took over the kitchen that we would cook for her and Taylor as well.

She was all for spending a few more hours with her guy.

What a small world it is that he knows my dads so well. Like them, Christian says Taylor doesn't talk much about his time in the military, but I do see him in a different light, knowing he served with my dads and they are fond of him.

Once Gail and Taylor or served, Phoebe, Teddy, and I then go about setting up our own dining table as we plate up the food we've made and take it in to Christian.

Teddy gives him his plate and he eyes it. His eyes automatically find mine as he sees what it is.

"I've upgraded," I tell him as he smirks at me.

"Thank God you've given up the can," he tells me.

The twins and I prepared him homemade toasted Raviolis from a recipe I found online. We've completed the meal by adding a fresh garden salad.

I knew the Raviolis would remind him of the first time he got me to come over at Escala because he was so disgusted with the canned version I was about to eat.

"Mmmm, this is so good," he moans. The twins grin wide as they dig in and I follow suit.

I really try hard not to moan, but he is right, it is delicious.

"I made the pasta dough," Teddy boasts in-between bites. "And I helped with the sauce."

I broke up the lettuce for the salad," Phoebe says. "And I helped with our surprise desert."

"You all did an excellent job," Christian tells us as he eats.

After dinner, the twins help Christian clear the table and Phoebe comes back with her desert.

"Mmmmm," Christian moans dramatically for the second time tonight when he bites into one of her lemon crinkle cookies.

The twins and I look at each other, pleased with ourselves as we eat the desert.

"These are really good, Baby," Christian says as he munches on yet another cookie. He was supposed to be helping me load the dishwasher. "Have another one of these."

"Why," I say as I eat one anyway.

"I want to taste it later," he tells me and I frown.

He motions to my groin and I am still lost.

"Your pussy tastes like what you eat sometimes, Baby," he tells me.

"Seriously," I say and he nods. He smacks me on my ass as he heads off to tuck the twins in bed.

I can hear his baritone laughter as I grab another cookie and gobble it down.

…..

"Mmmmm," Christian says as I squirm underneath him. I just came in his mouth and I am now much too sensitive for his tongue as he licks me.

He swats at me as I leave him and go wash up.

"The, you are what you eat theory doesn't work with sperm," I tell him from the bathroom. He had cum in my mouth earlier. It didn't taste like cookies, but I went ahead and swallowed it all anyway.

"We could always order some flavored gel," he calls back.

"Really," I say to him. "I wasn't sure you'd like all that type of stuff."

"Well," he says. "I never thought I'd like bubble baths, but I do with you. Anything to help you out with your...uh...oral task."

"Yeah, I bet," I laugh.

"We'll order some stuff sometime," he tells me.

"Great," I tell him as I come out of the bathroom to find some pajamas to put on.

"Ana, why do you have this job listing," he asks me holding the paper I'd left on the dresser. He is already dressed in his pajama bottoms.

"I was just looking to do a little tutoring a few days a week," I explain to him.

"Why," he asks me concerned. "Do you need money?"

"No," I tell him. "Not really."

"Damnit, Ana," he says, getting frustrated. "I get you want to be self sufficient, but if you are struggling...I can't just sit back and let that happen. And you sure as hell are not about to work your fingers to the bone when I can so easily help you."

"Christian, tutoring is not working my fingers to the bone," I tell him. "It is something I enjoy and I'll get paid to boot."

"So you do need money," he says to me.

"I want to buy something that is expensive and it is sort of out of my budget," I tell him.

"What is it," he says, curious. "I can get it for you."

"It's not a specific thing," I say embarrassed about the whole thing now.

He gives me a look of annoyance and I sigh.

"I wanted to save up money so that I can buy something nice for you," I confess.

His annoyed expression breaks way to a boyish grin.

"Baby, it doesn't need to be expensive," he explains. "I cherish every gift you give me. They are priceless to me."

Now it's my turn to grin.

...

We lay awake in bed.

I agreed to ax the tutoring job after he told me he'd rather have me spend the time here than away from him trying to earn money for a gift.

He pulls me into his arms and I rest my head on his chest.

"Are you going to tell me why you were upset when I came into your office earlier," I ask him.

"Jess called," he said. "She wants to take the twins to New York for the weekend."

"I thought you were okay with them going," I ask him.

"I was," he says. "I am….in theory."

I laugh.

"I get it," I look up at him. "The idea of them on the other side of the country without you is hard to deal with."

"Very hard," he admits.

"But you trust Jess, right," I ask him and he nods. "And you trust Anderson to look out for them?"

He nods again and I lay my head back on his chest.

"I'm just being silly, Baby," he tells me kissing my head.

"You're being a good Dad," I tell him. "And they are very lucky to have a dad like you. Trust me. I'm an expert on good dads."

He holds me tight.

"Your dads really love you, Ana," he tells me. "I love you too. I would give anything to make you feel it. I would do anything to make you feel it."

"But I already do," I tell him. "Every time you hold me, I can feel how much you love me. Every time you look at me, you show me. I love your love."

"I love your love, Baby," he tells me. "I need it like air."

….

 **Saturday, February 20, 2016**

 **Christian's POV**

I've spent the last few days trying to talk Ana out of going to Ticketmaster today and actually spending all night there, but it fell on deaf ears. She is determined to go and I know it's just because I told her she couldn't when she first told me. I have to remind myself to use a different tactic next time.

She is so fucking stubborn. I had half a mind to call Jose, but I know I'd never hear the end of it from her if I went behind her back and did exactly what she asked me not to.

She text me from her place to let me know she was on her way out the door, so I sent Ryan ahead to be with her. Reynolds is going to drive me over to check things out.

I grab the snacks and drinks I had Gail pack up before she and Taylor took off to Vancouver and head out.

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Isn't the fact that Derrick is here, kind of mooting the point of us being here for his tickets," I say to Jose.

"Gurl that's what I said," Jose tells me.

"You guys were sure as hell not going to be out here without me," Derrick tells us. I swear he is another version of Christian. "Besides it's the thought that counts."

"Whatever happened to the kid you were trying to help anyway," Char asks him as we all get settled. Even though we are early we are still far back in the line.

"He's in a good group home," Derrick tells us.

"How sad. What stupid parents," Char says and we all agree. "Okay, I'm hungry."

"Here you go," Jose says as he hands her a box of Twinkies.

"You have got to be kidding me," she says, snatching the box of sweet cakes. " **This** is what you call bringing us food? You said you'd take care of it."

"Who doesn't like Twinkies," Jose says to her.

"Ana," Char looks at me as she holds up the box and points to it dramatically.

"Let's not panic," I tell her. "I'm sure we'll be….fine with….Twinkies….all night."

She rolls her eyes at me as I roll mine at Jose.

She takes her phone out to call Gus, but puts it away when she remembers he's in San Diego for the weekend.

"I'll go get something," Derrick tells us.

"Good luck in finding another place to park the car all night," Jose tells him as we barely found the space we parked in.

"Call Christian," Char tells me.

"No way," I tell her. "Not after the fight we had for him to agree to let me come out here."

"We are destined to starve," she groans.

"Hey, Baby," Christian says to me as he comes up.

"Hi," I say bouncing up to greet him.

"FOOD," Char says as she takes the snacks and drinks out of his hand and he frowns as he looks at our setup.

"You don't have food," he says angrily to me, and I cower in embarrassment.

He sighs at me in frustration as he looks around before his eyes land back on me.

"Seeeee," I tease him as the police car slowly rolls by. "I told you it was safe."

His simple nod is enough to let me know he at least agrees with me on that part.

"Stay warm," he tells me, bundling me up and making sure I have enough blankets. "I'll call you later."

"Okay," I tell him as I kiss him goodbye.

"I'll have Reynolds come back with a pizza," he tells me.

"Thank you," Char, Derrick, and Jose tell him with their mouths full of snack food.

I laugh as Christian just shakes his head at the lot of us and walks away.

"I'm going to go brave a porta-potty," I tell them.

"I'll come with you," Derrick says.

...

 **Jose's POV**

"This is going to be a long night, gurl," I tell Char.

"I don't know why Ana just didn't let Christian buy the tickets," she complains, "It was a nice offer.

"Because she crazy as hell," I say to her. "She would rather let us freeze our asses off to make some damn point. Her theme song should be Independent Women, honey."

"I like Miss. Independent by Ne-Yo," Char tells me.

"What the hell are you talking about," I ask her.

"I like the song Miss. Independent by Ne-Yo more than Independent Women by Destiny's Child," she lays it out as only Char can.

"Char, we are talking about Ana," I tell her, bringing it back around.

"I still like the song," she shrugs.

"Okie dokie," I say to her. "You know her dads came by looking for her fast ass the other night."

"She told me," Char laughs. "Way to rat her out there, Jose."

"Hey, when two big ass military men come beating on the gay man's door, it is every man for himself, m'kay," I tell her and she laugh.

"Oh shit," Char says when we hear a phone ringing.

"Its Ana's," I say, answering it. "Hello?"

"Who is this," a man's voice asks me. He sounds pissed.

"Jose," I answer him. "Who is this?"

"Where is the whore," he asks me.

"Oh honey, you definitely called the wrong number," I tell him and laugh at the thought. If only he knew who this phone belonged to."Aint no whore here."

"THAT BITCH," he snarls out and hangs up in my face.

"Who the hell was that," Char asks.

"Some guy looking to find a whore," I tell her.

"A whore," Ana says coming back.

"It was a wrong number, gurl," I tell her. "You are definitely not a whore."

"God, how could you have just lost the V card," Char says. "I guess you did a lot of playing with yourself."

"Will you two shut up," Ana says, looking around and we laugh. "And where is the hand sanitizer?"

We try to hide our laughter at her well timed request and Ana turns red.

"Leave the girl alone," Ricky says laughing.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I talked to Ana a little over an hour ago. She promised me she is keeping warm and that she got enough to eat with the pizza I sent over, so I'll leave her to have fun with her friends.

I had to resists the urge to scold her. How could she not bring food? This is the girl who brought a survival bag to a two hour hiking trip with me, but she didn't think to bring food to stay out on the street all night? What the fuck would they have done if I hadn't showed up?

...

I try to sleep but it is close to impossible in all this quiet.

The twins are away and having the time of their lives in New York from all the pictures they've been sending me and Ana is not due back here until sometime tomorrow.

I turn on my back and stare up at the dark ceiling, trying to clear my mind enough to drift off to sleep.

I start to relax and I smile when my mind automatically dreams of Ana.

…

"Mmmmm," I say as I feel her on top of me.

Fuck, this is a vivid dream.

"Christian," she whispers and my eyes fly open. The soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminates her.

"Baby," I say to her, not believing she's here. "Are you okay? What happened? What time is it?"

"It's a little after one," she says. "I'm fine. I just missed you."

I grab the back of her head and pull her down for a kiss.

"I missed you too," I tell her as I take off her shirt.

The dream of making love to her still fresh in my mind, I flip her over and remove her underwear. Without a word I enter her and she gasps at my need for her.

I take my time making sweet love to her, worshipping and savoring every inch of her.

"I love you, Baby," I whisper to her.

"I love you," she breathes out.

We moan each other's name as we cum.

Sated for the time being, Ana and I lay snuggled up facing each other as I run the pads of my fingers along her bare back. Her long brown mane spread all over her pillow, still smelling of fresh air and strawberry shampoo.

Her contended sigh makes me smile as I finally drift off to a peaceful sleep knowing she is safe and warm in my arms.

* * *

 **A/N: Woo, some strong reactions to the dads lol. They are over the top, it is true.**

 **To answer questions:**

 **No, things will not come to a head between Ana and the Greys, I meant between Ana and Christian and that is all I'm going to say about that.**

 **And yes things with Larry will come to a head soon. He is surely loosing control of his faculties and he will show his colors probably in the next chapter or the one after, depending on how it falls.**

 **Thanks as always for reading and reviewing.**


	49. The Silver Letter Opener

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Forty–Nine**

 **The Silver Letter Opener**

 **Christian's POV**

Sated for the time being, Ana and I lay snuggle up facing each other as I run the pads of my fingers along her bare back. Her long brown mane spread all over her pillow still smelling of fresh hair and strawberry shampoo.

Her contended sigh makes me smile as I finally drift off to a peaceful sleep knowing she is safe and warm in my arms.

...

 **Earlier in New York City**

 **Jess's POV**

The twins are tucked in bed, exhausted from the exciting day we had, so I decide to finish up the ballerina oil painting that I've been working on for Phoebe.

I try to immerse myself into the act painting, but like they always do, flashbacks of the night I shot Rob take over my mind and pulls me right back into that awful night. I see myself all bloodied and bruised trying desperately to get away before he passed out drunk and I made up my mind to never let him leave that house alive.

I shake the memory away when my hand that's holding the paint brush starts to tremble. I remind myself that I have a new home and a new life.

A sharp knock on the door drags me out of my musings.

"What are you doing here," I ask Brandon, as I open the penthouse door to speak to him.

He is always a welcomed distraction.

"I was close by so I thought I'd check in," he tells me as I let him in. "The twins asleep?"

"Nothing can wake them when they are this tired," I tell him. "But if you keep popping up, you are going to blow everything. Anderson is always around."

"I saw him leave," he assures me. "Relax, I was careful. Don't start freaking out now, the plan is working."

"At what cost," I ask him. "If this little plan of yours backfires, we could lose everything. You'll lose Ana and I will most certainly lose Christian. I've gone a long way in gaining his trust, I don't want to risk it all now."

"It won't backfire," he tells me. "We are finally going to get everything we deserve."

I look him up and down as he is dressed in a very bright red sweater and blue and white tie.

"Why are you dressed like Mr. Rogers," I ask him.

"I had a conference," he laughs. "They like it when you dress with colorful sweaters. It's a...shrink thing."

…...

 **Sunday February 21, 2016**

 **Christian's POV**

"You're up just in time," I hear Ana tell me. I focus my eyes to see her standing naked by the bed. I can't help the growl that escapes me when I look at her."Come take a bubble bath with me."

She doesn't have to ask me twice as I get up and follow her to the bathroom where she already has the tub filled with bubbles.

She hops in and I step in behind her. We both relax in the warm water.

"You never told me what happened last night, Baby," I tell her.

"I just missed you," she says. "I didn't like the thought of you here alone. I knew you were worried about the twins and about me, so I just decided to call it a night. Plus between Char's complaining and Jose's snoring, I was pretty much done."

I laugh.

"Well thank fuck for missing me and annoying friends," I tell her. "I hope they at least got the tickets."

"Jose texted me early this morning, it was a wash," she says, disappointed. "They were sold out in fifteen minutes!"

"Damn," I say, trying to sound disappointed but unable to hide the humor in my voice.

"Mhm," she says, knowing me too well. I push her forward to wash her back. "Jose was crushed and now I feel like crap for not letting you get the tickets like you offered in the first place. Sometimes, I am too thick headed for my own good."

 _Well, no argument from me._

"I figured that would probably happen," I confess, not wanting to prolong her feeling bad. "So I went ahead and bought the tickets just in case."

"You did what," she says turning sideways to face me.

"Baby, when I saw that line I knew there was no way you all were going to get the tickets, so I got them," I explain to her.

"You bought Derrick tickets," she says, happily.

"Not just Derrick," I tell her. "All of us are going to the concert."

"You are the absolute best," she says as she pounces on me in the tub.

I moan as her lips devour mine. I pull her back on top of me as my tongue makes its way into her mouth right before she rips it away from me.

"Baby, where the hell are you going," I say to her as she hops out of the tub. Bubbles are cascading down her body getting me hard and leaving me wanting.

"To call Jose," she says excited, as she slips on her terrycloth robe.

"Seriously," I say to her retreating back as she runs out of the bathroom."Baby?"

 _Cocked blocked by Jose Fucking Rodriguez!_

…

 **Saturday February 27, 2016**

 _One Week Later_

 **Ana's POV**

"Gurl, I cannot believe we are headed to the Adele concert," Jose says as we sit in my apartment waiting for Christian, Mia, Kate and Elliot.

"I'm so excited," I say. "I love Adele."

"She **is** the business," Derrick agrees.

"If I could sing like that I would be set for life," Char says.

"Who are you telling," Derrick tells her. "I **do** know this drag queen named Fanny, she is the spitting image of Adele and she can sing her ass off, okay."

"Fanny **is** fishy as hell," Jose agrees. "I love her. I would let her sing at the gallery showing, but the bitch might upstage what I got going on. You know the press is going to be there and there is only room for one star in my show. "

"I know that's right," I say and Jose laughs at me.

"I am sooo rubbing off on you gurl," he tells me.

…

"Oh my Gawd, it's so excitingggg," Jose sings for the hundredth time as he sips one of the cocktails Elliot made for us in the limo.

Mia, Char, Kate, Jose, and I get a little bit too giddy as the cocktail takes effect and we are quickly cut off.

…

We find our seats at the Key Arena, third row center, and Derrick nearly faints when he sees just how close to Adele he actually is.

"OH. MY. JESUS," he says as she takes the stage.

He spends the first three songs, staring at her open mouthed, until the start of Hello begins and he finally snaps out of the trance seeing his idol put him in to sing the song along with her.

I laugh at Jose holding his ears every time Derrick belts out "hello from the outside," clearly not at all in tune with Adele.

…

Derrick really does faint when Christian surprises him with backstage passes to meet Adele after the concert, but he comes out of it and pulls himself together quick, when we make it to where she is greeting fans.

"I think that recovery constitutes a miracle," Christian whispers to me as he sees Derrick beeline Adele when she comes over to meet us.

Thank God she is so down to earth because poor Derrick would have been crushed is she'd rebuffed his hug, but she hugged him like an old friend and I know he is a fan for life.

We all cringe when he went so far as to kiss her cheek.

"Get him," Char says to Jose, but he was already making a move to rein Derrick in.

Finally free of her number one fan, Adele gets the chance to talk to the rest of us before she is called away again.

...

"Fan. For. Life," Derrick says as we make our way back home.

He is guarding her autographed picture like it's the lost ark of the covenant as he scrolls though his cell phone looking at all of the pictures he's going to update with on his Facebook page.

We drop everyone off and after Derrick, Char, and Jose spend ten minutes between them thanking Christian again for the tickets we are left alone in the limo.

"What an amazing night," I tell him as I snuggle up close, enjoying the quiet ride to Escala.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Baby," he tells me.

"Did you enjoy it," I ask him.

I know concerting isn't really his thing unless there is a full sized orchestra and maybe an opera singer involved.

"Spending time with you, family, and friends? Always," he tells me. "It's been too long since we all got together like this."

"What," he says, knowing from my wide-eyed expression that I've just remembered something.

"Why don't we have a couple's night at Escala," I tell him.

"Perfect," he tells, me giving me a kiss. "And then we'll finally get to meet Mia's boyfriend."

"She sure is tight lipped about him," I tell him.

"That's because she doesn't want Elliot and I to scare him away," he admits. "He wouldn't be the first one we had to chase off."

Suddenly I can relate to Mia very well.

"Are you going to invite Ros and Gwen," I ask him, as I go through the list of our friends. "And David and Kelly since things are on the upswing with them. I won't even suggest we invite Brandon and his possible new girlfriend."

"Yeah, let's not go too far with this thing, Baby," he tells me and I laugh.

He is never going to give him a break for daring to have feelings for me. But I'm too excited about planning our get together to give him hell about it.

…

I yawn dramatically as we ride up the elevator.

"Come on, Baby," Christian says, taking my hand. "The sooner we get to bed, the sooner I can fuck you into oblivion."

"Yes please," I tell him.

…..

 **Monday February 29, 2016**

"And why can't you come back home with the twins," I ask Ana as she gets ready for work with a simple pair of blue jeans and a white button down shirt with black flats.

"Two reasons," she tells me and I fold my arms across my chest waiting to hear her rationale once again. "I have a meeting with the principle after work to discuss my review, hopefully I get a raise."

She says the last part excited as she crosses her fingers.

If he knows what's good for him, he'll damn well give her that fucking raise.

"You are an excellent teacher and I know you have it in the bag," I tell her.

"Awe," she gushes at my words as she kisses me.

"And the other reason," I prod, not to be distracted with her fuckable and kissable lips on mine.

This is the one I'm having problems with.

"I need to go home more," she tells me. "Jose can't keep taking care of things at my place and I don't want to give the impression that I've moved in here."

"Why not," I ask her.

She shakes her head and grabs her bag.

"You know very well why not," she tells me as she hurries off.

She waves goodbye as she rides the elevator down to the garage with the twins.

…

 **Ana's POV**

"Are you nervous about your review" Sandy asks me as we clean up the party we just had for Zach. He was so excited to celebrate his birthday on the actually day he was born. Of course I had to explain why he only gets a birthday every four years to my very curious class. I'm not sure the understand the point of a leap year.

"A little," I admit. "I hate being evaluated."

"I know what you mean," she tells me. "But I know you are going to get a good one."

"I truly hope so," I tell her.

She leaves for the day. I grab my stuff and head over to the administration building for my meeting. I hate being here after work, the only people left is the buildings and grounds crew cleaning up the school and a few teachers who like staying behind and working late.

"Ana," Larry greets me through his opened office door when he sees me in the waiting area.

I look at the principle's door on the opposite side of us and it's closed up tight.

"Hi, Larry," I tell him as he comes out to talk to me. "I just came for my review, but…"

"Of course, come on in," he says to me and I frown at him. "Principle Tanner left it for me to handle." He says by way of explanation.

"Oh," I say, disappointed. "I can just come back…"

"Don't be silly," he tells me. "You're here, I'm here, and he expects me to handle it. Let's just get it over with so we can go home. It's already late."

"You're right," I say, pushing aside my better judgment and chastising it all while I enter his office.

"Have a seat," he tells me and I sit opposite him while he sits at his desk. I place my bag in the empty seat next to me.

"How are you getting along here thus far," He asks me. He is the epitome of professionalism and I feel like crap for red flagging him in my head.

"I love it here," I tell him, honestly.

"That is good to hear," he tells me. "We are all very fond of you, Ana."

I nod as he eyes my review form.

"You seem to be doing extremely well," he tells me. "The majority of your students are hitting their benchmarks."

"They make it easy," I tell him, proudly. "They are very eager to learn."

"I must admit," he begins, putting down the form and looking at me. "I was concerned about one of our most sought after teachers dating one of the parents, especially one who has a lot of influence here."

 _Sought after?_

"Well," I say. "I hope those concerns are put to rest as they have no bearing on how I do my job."

"Eh," he shrugs, unconvinced.

"I can assure Principle Tanner that who I choose to date has no bearing on my ability to do my job," I tell him.

"Who you chose to date," he laughs sardonically. "You sound like a woman with way too many options. You must be proud of yourself though, snagging a rich guy like Grey. What did you have to do to get his attention? I'm sure you do it well."

"Is this on the review," I ask him, pissed off. "Because it is highly inappropriate and border line sexual harassment."

"Come on, Ana," he laughs. "We talk like this all the time. It's just between friends."

"We are not friends, Larry," I tell him. "We are co-workers and I would appreciate it if we could get back to what I came in here for."

"I didn't mean to offend," he says, holding up his hands in mock surrender as he apologizes. He rounds his desk and puts the review in front of me.

"Just read and sign," he says as he leans down to show me exactly where he needs my signature.

I feel his eyes on me as I read over my review and every hair on my body stands straight up.

"He really is a lucky bastard," he says, the putrid smell of his breath is making me ill.

He leans in close to me. I can feel his lips brush against the skin of my cheek and I yank my head away.

I try to get up but he places his hands on my shoulders holding me down in my seat.

"Let go of me," I scream at him, as I struggle to get free. His fingers are digging into the skin of my shoulders as the fearful realization that he means to do me harm sets in.

My mind is racing along with my heartbeat as it rings through my ears.

"Now don't be like that, Ana," I hear him say. "I'm just giving you what you want. What you came in here for."

He spits my words back at me.

"Get the hell off of me," I yell.

Finally breaking free of his grasp, I get up and try to side step him to get to the door, but he steps in front of me. I jerk backwards away from him.

He slams the door and leans his back against the frame.

"Now stop playing these fucking games with me Ana," he orders. "We both know you want it. You've been teasing me for months with this 'I don't date bullshit' while everything with a dick is always in your classroom. Now it's my turn to have a go."

"You are out of your mind," I tell him.

He looks me up and down, eye fucking me as I stand on the verge of a panic attack.

"Stop denying it," he tells me calmly. "I know you want me."

"FUCK YOU," I yell angrily, as my panic turns into a quick burst of anger. I look around his office for something to grab and my eyes land on his silver letter opener. I grab it and hold it out in defense.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with that," he asks me, pointing to the letter opener as I hold the sharp pointed end at him. He seems confused by my behavior. "Look, I do like it rough, hot thing, but not that damn rough. Put that thing down and let's just have a little fun, okay?"

 _What the hell is wrong with this guy!_

"Get AWAY from the door," I tell him.

"You have got to be shitting me," he says angry, when he realizes I'm serious. "I just set this little meeting up for us, hot thing. Now come on. I'm all for playing hard to get, but the chase is getting old. I mean you're not **that** fucking hot."

"Let me out of here," I tell him.

His smug smile soon turns into a sneer.

"Fuck it, I'm done chasing after your bony ass," he spits out. "You blew it, hot thing! Don't expect another chance with Larry, you stuck-up cock tease."

He moves too quickly.

In my panic, I move forward to defend myself and stab him with the letter opener. I realize too late that he was just opening the door to let me out.

"AHHH, You BITCH," he yells out, the letter opener still embedded in his chest.

I stand shocked and opened mouthed as he doubles over in pain. Blood pours out of him and drips heavily on the ash colored carpet of his office.

"What did you do," he asked me. I can hear the alarm in his voice at the sight of his own blood.

I jump back as he stumbles past me over to his desk and picks up the phone.

Without a backwards glance, I race for the now partially opened door.

"Help me," he yells at me, but I continue to run.

I barely make it outside before despair grips me.

I start to shake as the shock of what just happened wears off.

The sky opens up and the rain begins to pour. I stand getting wet, willing my panic attack not to take over as I fight for control of myself.

Fear of Larry coming after me in revenge for hurting him surpasses everything else and so I run. I make it halfway to my car and stop when I realize I ran out without my bag. My keys along with my cell phone are still inside of Larry's office.

I look around, but there is no sign of anyone. I can try to find the cleaning crew, but think better of it, knowing I could bump into Larry. But then I see it: Escala standing tall like a homing beacon and I run to it.

I run to Christian.

….

* * *

 **A/N: I know. What a messed up place to end it.**

 **Sorry for the delay. I had to visit the land of RL for a while.**

 **Well let's get into a little Q and A:**

 **Q:Why did Larry/Mystery Caller choose to talk when Jose answered Ana's phone?**

A: Because he wasn't expecting a man to answer her phone and it angered him.

 **Q: Are you going to finish this story?**

A: Yes, I try to finish every story I start.

 **Q: Is this a cheating story?**

A: No cheating.

 **Okay, now am I the only one having doubts about this Brant Daugherty as Luke Sawyer? I am not on board at all with this guy. Aw well. I shall wait and see.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	50. Justified

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fifty**

 **Justified**

 **Christian's POV**

I check my phone again wondering why Ana hasn't responded to the text I sent her asking about her review. Surely she's done with her meeting by now.

I put the phone down and turn my attention back to the twins who are next to me looking up butterflies for their report.

The pictures of the beautiful Monarch butterflies makes me think of Ana and I glance at my phone again as it rests on my desk.

...

" Mr. Grey," I hear Taylor yell from the great room. "Ana's here!"

Two things automatically have me on high alert: Taylor called her Ana instead of his usual and very formal Miss. Steele and he is choosing to yell for me to come out instead of coming in to announce her arrival.

I quickly get up and haul ass to the great room.

"Where is she," I demand to know as I move past him going toward the foyer before he can respond.

The elevator opens up and she walks in.

I stop short, shocked at the sight of her.

She is soaking wet, disheveled, and her chest is heaving like she's been overdoing her sprints.

"Baby," I breathe, worried that her eyes are glazed over and she is yet to speak.

She smiles past me and I turn to see Phoebe and Teddy coming up behind me.

"You're all wet, Ana," Phoebe says, concerned.

"Oh, I just got caught in the rain," Ana says, faking a smile for them. She clutches herself so not to fall apart.

"Are you cold," Teddy asks Ana.

"Just a little," she admits to him. "I just need to go change."

Gail soon enters the great room. Like me, something in Taylor's tone brought her running. Before I can send the twins back to my office, she takes one look at the scene before her and moves to them.

"Guys, why don't we go and make Ana a nice cup of tea to warm her up," she says to the twins as she quickly ushers them away with her.

As they disappear into the kitchen, Ana rushes past me to the bedroom leaving, Taylor and I looking shell shocked as our minds wonder at what the matter is.

It takes me a split second to chase after Ana.

"Baby," I call her again as I quickly make my way to the master bathroom. She stops taking off her wet clothes and crashes into me. "Okay, Baby. It's okay."

I croon the words over and over in her ear as I have my arms wrapped around her, holding her much too tight.

She trembles in my arms and I know it has nothing to do with her being cold.

"Talk to me, Baby, let me know you're okay," I say to her.

"I'm okay, now," she tells me. She begins to undress again and I help her.

"What happen," I ask her, praying that it was just a simple panic attack.

"The meeting with the principle," she begins. "He wasn't there, but Larry was."

"What happened, Baby," I gently ask her again as dread fills me.

"He….made a pass at me," she says and I know she's not telling me the whole truth.

"Jesus," I whisper as I finally get her clothes off and notice droplets of blood on her white shirt. "What the fuck did he do?"

My mind is racing with questions as I look her over for injury. _Should I call mom? Should I just take her to the hospital?_

The only thing I see of concern are the two red and blue fresh bruises on each of her shoulders.

 _What the fuck happened?_

"He started in on me being with you and he got too close to me. He tried to kiss my cheek," she purges it all out of her. "I tried to get up from my chair, but he held me down. I was fighting him and I managed to get free. He blocked the door. I grabbed a letter opener and I….I thought he was about to... attack me…so…I stabbed him and I ran. I left my bag in his office. My keys and phone are inside, I couldn't call you, so I ran all the way here."

RAGE. All I feel is pure, unfiltered rage.

"Ana, Baby," I gently push her to continue. "Did he… force himself on you?"

"No," she blurts out. "I got away, I swear."

Sweet relief washes over me.

"Bu...But Christian," she continues. "There was so much blood. I don't know what happened to him after I left. I just ran and left him there. I was so scared. I didn't mean to hurt him. I just wanted to get away."

"I believe you, Baby," I tell her as I try to keep her calm. I put her robe on and hold her in my arms again never wanting to let her go.

We stand holding on to each other until I realize that she must be exhausted from her ordeal. I pick her up and carry her to bed.

I let Gail in with Ana's tea.

"Thank you, Gail," Ana tells her, smiling weakly as Gail sets up the tray of tea and the biscotti she knows Ana loves at her bedside.

"My pleasure, Ana," Gail tells her warmly.

…

 **Ana's POV**

I sit up and dip my tea bag in the hot water. The sight of the little bag seeping it's tea does the job in calming me and I fish it out a few seconds later.

I'm just trying hard to focus on this simple task of having my favorite tea and biscotti as Gail and Christian silently watch me.

Concern oozes from her body while anger is pouring out of Christian's. I try to hone in on their conversation as they start to talk to one another.

"The twins are helping me with dinner," Gail tells Christian. He thanks her for keeping them busy and asks that she watch them for a while longer.

"Baby, I'll be back in a little while," he tells me.

"Wher...Where are you going," I ask him, not wanting to be without him.

He doesn't answer me and I know it is on purpose.

"Ryan is here and so is Anderson," he tells me instead, thinking that will make me feel better about him leaving. "If you want Taylor to stay here…."

"No, I want you to stay here with me," I beg him.

"I know. But I'll be right, Baby," he tells me and quickly walks away.

I get up to chase after him, but I'm stopped by Gail.

"Ana, wait," she steps in front of me to stop me from moving forward and images of Larry doing that same move enters my mind causing me to step back.

"He's going after….he's going to try to make this right isn't he," I ask her and she nods yes. "I have to stop him."

"That is the last thing you need to do," she tells me. She calmly talks to me like I'm sure a mother would her distraught daughter.

"Gail," I start to argue.

"Ana, please listen to me," she begs. "The best thing you can do now is to let him take care of this. He won't rest until he knows that it's been handled and that you are safe."

"What if he does something crazy," I ask her.

"Jason will talk reason to him," she assures me. "He won't let him leave Escala when he's this angry. Don't let the twins see you out there this upset. They love you so."

I relent, knowing she's right.

"Let them know I'm warm now and please thank them for the tea," I tell her.

"I will," she smiles at me, she leaves giving me some time alone.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I leave the room and when Ana doesn't follow I assume that Gail has calmed her down. I want to be there to comfort her right now but I am much to consumed with anger to be any help to her.

I find Taylor uncharacteristically pacing by the elevators, laying in wait to prevent me from leaving. I know his worried pacing has to do with the kinship he is now feeling for Ana since he found out his old military buddies are her dads.

 _Fuck! I have to hurry up and fix this shit. They'll drag her back to Montesano for sure. Then again, maybe Frank can use this as an excuse to brush up on his shooting skills. I'll just make sure Ray isn't around to stop him this time._

"What happened," Taylor asks me, eager to know.

"That fucker Larry attacked her and she stabbed the son of a bitch with a letter opener," I tell him in a hushed tone. "She left him bleeding on his office floor."

"Shit," is his only response, but that pretty much sums it up.

I push the button for the elevator

"I need to make sure she didn't kill the bastard." I tell him.

 _Because if she didn't I sure as hell will._

"Sir," Taylor calls for me, but I ignore him, not wanting to hear his shit. "I think the best course of action would be to call you father."

"What the fuck for," I yell, but lower my voice, remembering the twins are in the kitchen.

"Sir, he knows how to handle these types of situation," he reminds me. "Legally."

...

Acting now as Ana's lawyer, Dad quickly takes over to do damage control.

He warns me to calm down and let him handle it but fuck that shit.

I hang up with him still seething.

"Fuck this shit," I say. "I can't fucking believe this! I knew! I fucking KNEW that son of bitch was no good! But what do I do? Go against it to be understanding and non-controlling and shit!"

I berate myself and Taylor as guilt and rage wash over me.

I pick up the phone.

"Welch," I bark his name. "Larry McMahon attacked Ana and he was just stabbed with a letter opener in his office at my kids' school. Find out what hospital he's in. Text it to me, I need to pay him a little visit."

I hang up before he can say a word to me.

"Mr. Grey," Taylor calls for me.

"What," I bark at him. What could have happened to Ana is starting to fully sink in. My anger is steadly rising to a point of no control and Taylor knows it.

"I get that you're pissed about what's happened to Miss. Steele," he tells me. "But you need to calm down and include her in this. You need to empower her as she deals with this."

"I have no problem with her dealing with it," I tell him. "Right after I'm done kicking his ass. I just might finish what Ana already started."

Welch comes through and sends me that bastard's location.

"Sir," Taylor begins again, desperate for me to listen. "You won't do her any good if you end up knee deep in legal troubles. We were lucky it didn't go bad for you with Rob Rogers. I wasn't there to talk sense to you that time, so let me make up for it now. You going off kicking ass and taking names is just going to hurt Ana."

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT," I yell, but stop when I realize what I just said.

 _Fuck!_

I take a deep breath and run my hands through my hair in frustration.

"That bastard put his filthy hands on Ana. He scared her so completely that she stabbed his ass, Taylor," I go over the facts. "That gives me license to put my foot up his ass! That's how shit like this works!"

"Mr. Grey," he says. "Ana has already showed him she's not to be messed with."

I smile in pride at the thought of her handling that bastard.

"Let's not cause her undue stress and more pain," he continues to try to get me to see clearly. "How do you think she'll feel if you go off the rails? Who do you think she'll blame if you end up in jail and think about the twins..."

"Fuck," I say at him throwing in his trump card of the twins. "Make sure that bastard doesn't come near her or my kids again."

He nods in agreement.

"I believe it's time for a CPO," he tells me. "Do you want Ryan to do it?"

"No," I tell him. "I want that FBI guy of yours, what's his name?"

"Luke Sawyer, Sir," he tells me.

"See if he's willing," I tell him. "Give him whatever he needs but I want **him** protecting Ana."

"Yes, Sir," he tells me.

I blow my breath in frustration at Mr. Fucking Rational as I start to calm down.

"You need to take more vacations," I tell him. "All this clear thinking shit you have me doing really pisses me the fuck off."

He does the Jason Taylor version of a laugh which is more like a serious of quick grunts.

"No Sir," he tells me. "I better stick around. You are much too dangerous on your own."

….

I enter the bedroom to find Ana sitting on the edge of the bed lost in thought. She is much too still for my liking.

She turns her head to look at me in the doorway and I can see her beautiful face is tired and worried.

"What did you do," she asks me. He voice is quiet and full of dread.

"Nothing reckless, thanks to Taylor," I quickly assure her and she blows out a relieved breath.

Her eyes quickly dart back and forth as her mind races in thought.

"I should be handling this on my own, but I just don't know what to do right now," she tells me. "I stabbed him Christian and I left him to bleed. I should lose my job and my teaching credentials, if I'm not arrested first. I should be arrested..."

"Baby, listen," I tell her as I sit next to her on the bed. "I called dad. He's acting as your lawyer. What you did was self defense, Ana. You have to know that."

"But he was opening the door to let me out," she tells me. She is devastated by what she did to that ass and I hate it.

"You can't be sure that's what he was doing," I tell her. "He could have very well been trying to trick you into putting your guard down. I know you don't like it, Baby, but under the circumstances, you did the right thing."

She nods, unconvinced of her actions being justified.

"Come here, Baby," I tell her and she slides into my lap so I can comfort her. "When I think about what could have happened if you hadn't got out of there, Ana…"

"Don't Christian," she tells me. "Don't even think that way."

"I won't," I tell her, holding her tighter. "If you try not to think you did something other than what you had to do."

"I'll try," she agrees.

"Good," I tell her. "Do you feel like coming out and having dinner with us?"

She shakes her head no.

"I just want to take a shower and get into bed," she tells me.

"Okay, Baby," I say kissing the side of her head. I let her up so she can go shower. "I'll tell the twins you're not feeling well."

"I'll read them a story tonight, if they want," she tells me.

"They'll like that," I say to her. "I'll have Gail bring your dinner in a little while."

"Thank you, Christian," she tells me.

"You don't have to thank me, Baby," I tell her, as I tuck her hair behind her ears. "I like taking care of you. It's what I want to do. I'm so thankful you came to me. Promise me you always will when you're scared or in trouble."

She nods.

"This is where I feel safe," she confesses, stealing the last bit of my heart I was trying desperately to hold on to.

...

"How's she doing, Son," Dad asks me as Taylor escorts him into my office.

"About as well as to be expected," I answer him as I pour him a brandy. "She just finished up reading to the twins before she went back to bed herself."

He smiles sadly.

"The rest will do her good," he tells me.

"What's the damage," I ask him.

"That jackass is a piece of work," He tells me, downing his drink. "One of the guys from the school's cleaning crew found him sprawled out in his chair with the letter opener still in his chest. He was unconscious..."

"Shit," I say.

"No, no," Dad says raising a hand to calm me down. "It was a small puncture wound to the chest area about an inch or so deep, but it hit a vein that made it seem worse than it was. The bastard just passed out from the sight of his own blood. They gave him a few stitches, slapped a band-aid on him, and sent him home."

I laugh hard at the thought at that fucker passing out at thinking he was bleeding to death. Serves the son of a bitch right.

"Is that it," I ask him.

"No charges have been filed," he tells me.

"I don't trust him," I tell dad. "He's up to something."

"Maybe he wants money," dad suggests. I wish that were the case. Blackmail is the type of shit that's easy to handle. "Or maybe he's just waiting to see what Ana does."

"Sick bastard probably thinks they had some lover's quarrel," I tell him. "What's our next move?"

"We can still move forward and press charges against that asshole," dad tells me.

"Well what are you waiting for," I ask him.

"I have to talk to my client first," he tells me.

"That's why I'm telling you," I say to him. I feel myself getting frustrated.

"Son," he tells me. " **You** are not my client, Ana is."

"Christian," I hear Ana call for me. My dad and I look to see her opening the door wrapped up much too tightly in her robe.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," she says, taking note of my dad. "I was just wondering where you were."

"You're not interrupting, Baby," I say as I get up to go to her.

"Not at all, Love," My father says, getting up to greet her.

"I was just going over a few things with Christian and I was hoping you were up for a conversation," He asks her and she nods.

I lead her over to the chair next to my father and sit her down.

He smirks at my attentiveness and I scowl at him for noticing it.

"I am just here to ask you how you want us to proceed," he tells her. "Do you want me to file charges against Larry McMahon on your behalf?"

She looks at me and then back at dad.

"But I stabbed him and ran," she confesses.

"We can argue self defense," he tells her. "You running can bring the point home that you were in fear of your life. His side will say you should have called the police, but I can argue that point down."

"Argue, in court," she says. "There would be a trial?"

"I will walk you through each step and be with you the whole time," he assures her.

"No," she says shaking her head. "I don't want to do that."

"Ana," I start to argue.

"No, Christian," she tells me flat out. "Going through the courts and trial day in and day out on top of trying to do my job and what about my students, my life? No, I've been through it all before and it's just not worth it. I just want this over and done with."

"I understand," my dad tells her. "It is a lot to commit to."

"Is he going to have me arrested," she asks.

"No, Love, he can't have you arrested," dad assures her. "The bruising you sustained is more than enough to show self defense."

"Thank you so much for your help, Carrick," she tells him as she gets up to go.

"No need for that," he smiles warmly at her as he rises. "Grace was eager to come by and check on you, but I talked her out of it. I didn't want us all to overwhelm you."

"Please let her know that I'm okay," she tells him, matching his smile.

"I will," he tells her giving her a peck on the cheek.

"I'll just see my father out, Baby," I tell her as I walk her to the door. I try to hide my anger and disappointment at not having that bastard pay for what he did.

She nods and kisses me before she goes back to our room.

I can't believe this bastard is just going to skip off into the fucking sunset," I yell, having no concern for my father seeing my anger.

"I can understand the poor girl's feelings, Christian," he tells me. "A trial can be grueling and I couldn't protect her from feeling the brunt of it."

"I don't follow," I tell him.

"First, there were no witnesses..." he tells me.

"There never are in these cases," I argue.

"True," he agrees. "But then it becomes her word against his and he's the one with the tiny little hole in his chest."

"But you saw the bruises on her shoulders from where that bastard held her down," I tell him getting angry all over again. I had Gail take pictures and I sent them to him just in case he needed them.

"Let me give you the most common scenario of how this works," he tells me.

I sit patiently waiting for him to continue.

"His lawyer's job would be to come up with a counter. Which means he'll more than likely claim that she was after him. He can also claim that she attacked him after being spurned and he was trying to push her off," he tells me.

"That is complete bullshit," I tell him.

"Of course it is, but listen," he continues. "It's bound to get out. It will get to parents and in this day and age with all the paranoia against teachers being inappropriate with students, you best believe they will interrogate their kids about both McMahon and Ana. One of them may remember a simple hug or a touch and embellish as kids sometimes do. So now you have this pretty young teacher and the assistant principle being accused of being sexually inappropriate with each other and students. Here comes the media..."

"For fuck sakes," I say angrily.

"Even if its all proven false, which it damn well will would be when I was done, and Ana wins..." he says.

"Her career would be over," I finish and he nods.

"Is it worth the cost," he asks. "No one can answer that but Ana. If you steam roll over her and rip the reins out of her hands for your vengeance, it could have long lasting consequences. "

I shake my head at this sick shit.

"She's a spitfire that one," he tells me.

 _Damn right she is._

"But everyone has their limits," he tells me. "Even if the worst case scenario doesn't happen, a trial is never easy. I saw your guy Welch sniffing around. I thought I told you to calm down."

I shrug.

"I didn't do anything," I tell him. "But I want that bastard fired. I don't want him anywhere near Ana or the twins."

"Perfectly understandable," he tells me. "That's a private matter in a private school. Knowing you, I'm sure you've made it to were you have influence, so I'll leave you to handle it, but call me if you need me to throw some legal weight around. Now I'm telling you as your father and as Ana's lawyer, keep your goddamn head Christian. This is not about you. Be there for Ana."

I give my word and bid him goodnight.

…..

Ana's been restless for the last couple of hours. I came in to find her curled up in a tight ball.

 _"Please don't hurt me," she whimpered in the midst of a nightmare._

She's been in my arms ever since as her plea still rips my heart out and makes my blood boil with anger all at the same time.

She lays now with her back to me as I stroke her arm.

"I'm sorry Christian," she says to me.

"For what," I ask her.

"I promised you I wouldn't be alone with Larry and that I would listen to my instincts," she says. "I went into his office willingly..."

"Ana, don't," I tell her. "Don't blame yourself for what that sick bastard did. You being in his office, or alone with him, or hell being naked in front of him doesn't give him the right to put his hands on you. Now just relax, Baby."

"I can't," she tells me. "I can't shut my mind off."

"Come here," I tell her and she turns in my arms to lay her head on my chest. "Do you remember the first time we fell asleep together?"

"Yes," she chuckles at the memory. "Best second non date ever."

I laugh as I play in her hair.

"Yes it was," I tell her. "I can't believe you got me to play around in that waterfall."

"I never thought I'd have fun falling in freezing water," she laughs.

...

Before long she is out like a light as a smile graces her lips. I pepper her face with kisses before following her in light sleep.

Rest doesn't come easy for me.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Most question's were about Ana's CPO. Ryan stayed with her once or twice but that was about all she agreed to.**

 **Well thanks to reader in Oz, I saw Brant Daugherty on DWTS and now I am totally in love with him. I just hope he will be a good Luke Sawyer. We shall see.**

 **But on a good note, Jamie is sure looking more like Christian on those pictures they are releasing from Darker. I am getting excited.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	51. Pleeease

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again **

**Chapter Fifty-One**

 **Pleeease**

 **Tuesday, March 1, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

The early warnings of dawn comes much too soon for me as I try to keep the new day at bay.

I smile when I feel Christian's hands in my hair. I open my eyes to focus on him.

"Morning, Beautiful," he whispers to me.

"It's morning already," I groan. "I feel like I haven't slept at all."

"I'm keeping the twins out of school today. I want you to stay home too," he tells me. I want to protest but he continues. "Just take a day, Baby."

"Are you staying home too," I ask him. I would love for all of us to spend the day together.

"Yes," he tells me as he sweeps my bangs from my forehead.

"Okay," I agree, "But I still need to talk to Principle Tanner about Larry and I'm sure he'll know what I did before too long. He may suspend me anyway…"

"That's not going to happen. I'll make sure he knows what that bastard did," he tells me.

"Christian," I start. "I know you want to help, but I need to…"

"No buts, Ana," he tells me. "I'm not letting you anywhere near that bastard again."

"Christian," I say getting out of bed to stand up. "I can't just keep relying on you to take care of me. I need to fight my own battles. I need to face this on my own."

"But you are not on your own Ana," he tells me, getting out of bed and walking over to where I am. "We are in this together."

"I know we are," I tell him. "But, this is on me. I was stupid enough to let my guard down again and let this happen, now I need to take care of it. Otherwise guys like him will continue to think they can just keep doing this to me. I need to handle this."

"No," he tells.

"Yes," I counter him. I blow my breath and turn away.

"Damnit Ana," he says, as I go toward the bathroom.

Seeing I have no intention of listening to him, he stalks after me, grabs hold of my waist, and turns me around.

"Don't touch me," I hiss at him, as I lash out and shove him away.

I catch my breath in surprise at the venom I heard in my voice.

He quickly drops his arms to his side as he stares at me, the hurt of my rejection marring his face and filling his eyes.

"Christian," I whisper his name.

He takes a step backwards away from me. He is quickly becoming unreadable and unreachable as gaurds between us, that were dropped so many months ago, start to rise again.

 _What have I done?_

"Oh no, Christian, baby, I'm sorry," I tell him taking a step forward as he continues to back away.

I rush him before he goes too far.

I take hold of the back of his head and kiss his lips. His body goes rigid, no longer sure of my touch.

"Please," I whisper for him to kiss me back as my lips are still pressed against his.

I feel him give into me and I relax my body into his.

"Baby, I'm sorry," he says, pulling away. "I didn't mean to scare…"

I stop him from talking by pressing my lips into his once again.

He pulls back to look into my eyes.

Satisfied with what he sees, he cups my face and leans in for a kiss. My body comes alive at the anticipation of his lips on mine. His his kiss is slow, purposeful...torturous.

I lift my pajama shirt over my head desperate to make love to him, to feel us truly bonded once again.

I stand topless before him. He brings the palms of his hands up to caress my breast before he gently pushes me back on the bed.

I go willingly, climbing backwards to reach the head of the bed, never taking my eyes off of him as he rids himself of his pajamas.

He tugs off my bottoms and panties before making his way to me.

"Mmmm, Baby," he moans as I wrap my legs around him and pull him down, pressing his body into mine, keeping him close.

"Oh God," I moan when he shifts and enters me.

"Aw fuck, Ana," he pants out. We start to move as one, our eyes never leaving each other, as we climb higher and higher to where we both need to be, to where we feel the most connected.

My arms flail out and I grab hold of the bed sheets. I shiver at the feel of Christian's fingertips as they run along my arms. I turn my hands and lace my fingers with his.

Every fiber, every nerve, every cell of our bodies are in tune together. I call his name as I cum and he is a beat behind me moaning for me as he spills himself inside of me.

….

I lay on my side facing Christian as he lies facing me. I run my fingers along his chest, still wanting to stay connected to him. He frowns at me and I know he is once again thinking about my reaction to him earlier.

"I don't know why I said that," I tell him, honestly. "I'm sorry. I always want you to touch me. I couldn't bare it if you ever stopped."

"You were attacked, Baby," he tells me. I am touched by the gentleness in his voice. "It was bound to put you on edge and I should have realized before I grabbed you like that. I want you to see Townsend."

"I will," I assure him. I move my hand to run my fingers through his hair and caress his face, "but not today. Christian, I…"

"Don't," He tells me grabbing my wrist. "Don't ask me to sit back and let you deal with that bastard after what happened yesterday. I can't do that and live with myself."

"If I don't do it, I can't live with myself," I explain to him. "I need to stand up for myself."

"Baby, I know that you are more than able to handle this on your own," he explains to me. "Believe me when I tell you men like him are sick in the head. You going there explaining every detail is what he wants and he will enjoy it. You don't have a goddamn thing to prove because every one that matters to you knows that you are strong and capable."

I look at the determination that is on his face and softly nod my head.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes as he grins in victory.

"Just don't go getting yourself arrested, okay," I tell him.

"Do I have to promise," he says.

"Oh my God," I groan.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I leave Ana and two very excited to be staying home from school when they're not sick kids to their morning while I go have a talk with the school's principle.

"Mr. Grey," Tanner starts cheery as the secretary leads me into his office. "What can I do for..."

"That assistant of yours physically attacked one of your teachers yesterday," I tell him after closing his door.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," he tells me, confusion evident on his face. "I am aware that Larry had an incident here last night where he hurt himself, but I haven't heard…"

"He assaulted Anastasia Steele in his office," I spell it out for him. "I want him fired. This needs to be dealt with now."

"I'm sure this is a simple explanation," he says. "If I could just speak to Anastasia to get her side of things, maybe clear up misunderstandings."

" **Miss. Steele** is not available, so you are forced to deal with me," I tell him. "Or you could deal with your boss after I give him a call and make him aware of what you've allowed to happen at his school. I don't think he'd be too happy with this deviant being associated with his prestigious school or his family name, especially when I and half the parents here start pulling out our kids after being informed of the danger..."

"That won't be necessary, Mr. Grey," he tells me. "I assure you that I will take care of it, but I'm going to need Miss. Steele's statement at least."

I slap a copy of the statement dad advised Ana on early this morning.

The man's eyes bulge out so far as he reads through it I'm surprised he can still focus on the words.

"Miss. Steele left her bag in his office," I tell him.

"Yes, uh, Ralph from buildings and grounds found it," he tells me as he goes out to retrieve it.

I hear the raised voices in the waiting area and I'm guessing the bastard showed up to work today.

"Mr. Grey," Tanner says as he walks in with Larry.

"Am I correct in assuming you now have a better understanding of what happened," I ask him.

I ignore the Larry fucker as he slithers around the doorway just in case he needs to make a quick exit. He shouldn't concern himself with me at the moment.

Making love to Ana so strongly this morning and the picture of her and the twins enjoying themselves in the game room as I left is keeping my anger in check…just barely.

"Gentlemen, why don't we sit down," Tanner says, as he puts Ana's bag on his desk.

Taylor's large frame suddenly fills the space in the doorway. Larry moves forward away from him to where he takes a seat but I refuse to move.

Taylor's demeanor is one of detachment, but knowing him well, I can see that he is itching to get his hands on Larry.

 _Mr. Rational my ass._

He surveys the scene. Confident that I am in control, he disappears again. Tanner takes the opportunity to close the door.

"Cut the pleasantries," I tell Tanner as Larry now sits looking pissed and scared and trying hard to hide it. "Are you going to fire this prick? I'm not going to stand here all day."

"Fire," Larry comes to life, surprised at the notion of him being fired for what he did to Ana. "Tanner you can't fire me. I did **nothing** wrong!"

"Was that not your pathetic ass that held Ana against her will in your office? Luring her in on the pretence of giving her review," I spit out. "One that as her supervisor, you were supposed to give her Tanner, and there lies another fuck up."

Tanner clears his throat as he sits down at his desk and picks up Ana's statement.

"Larry," he begins. "Miss. Steele has written a formal statement claiming that you held her down against her will and refuse to let her leave your office. She states that you made sexual demands upon her…"

"She is LYING," he yells. "SHE seduced ME."

"How so," Tanner says, shocked at his outburst.

"Come on, Tanner, you've seen her wearing those tight little outfits," he starts. "She's practically falling out of her shirts. How do you think a man is supposed to feel with her walking around here looking like **that**? Then she just **happens** to leave her IPad at the place I always sit next to her at lunch."

 _Son of a bitch!_

"What does that have to do with anything," Tanner asks him, confused.

"Come on," he laughs like it should be obvious. "It was an open invitation for me to start calling her."

"You stole her IPad to call her," Tanner asks. "You actually called her off hours to talk about what? Have you been harassing her over the phone Larry?"

 _He's been calling her? Why the fuck is this the first I'm hearing about this shit!_

"She's very good at the game," Larry says, ignoring the question. "She ignored the gift I gave her for Christmas and it pissed me off. I spent a lot of money. You can understand that?"

He says the last part turning to me.

"What the hell are you talking about," I ask him, pissed off.

 _Why the fuck didn't she tell me about this shit!_

"Ohhhhhh she didn't tell you," he asks laughing.

I am about a second away from beating the smile off his face.

"I bought her a very expensive bracelet for Christmas," he explains. "She never thanked me for it and well now I know why. She caught a bigger fish."

"The fuck you say," I tell him, giving him rope to hang himself.

"I'm telling you, she's good," he says to me, feeling we've both been burned by Ana. "She continued to flirt and to do her little "I don't date" thing and I knew damn well she did."

He points at me and I nod.

"So I just played her game. I set the whole thing up yesterday, convinced Tanner to let me give her the review," he explains his master plan to me. "I went in for the kill, but it was a no go. I guess I jumped the gun on that, but man she looked so good, I couldn't resist. I thought she was ready to take it to the next level. We just got our signals wrong."

He shrugs like its no big deal.

"What part of that sharp jab to the chest makes you think she feels anything for you but disgust, you sick freak," I tell him.

He looks smugly at me as he tilts his head.

"Afraid of a little competition I see," he tells me.

"How **is** that wound of yours, Larry? Better hope it doesn't bleed out again. We wouldn't want you to fall out from seeing the blood," I tell him.

Now it's my turn to grin as his face changes to anger.

"Larry you're fired," Tanner says as he pushes a button on his phone. "You have ten minutes to clear your desk and leave the premises…"

"You are actually firing **ME** ," He says. " **She** is just as responsible for this as I am! **She** led me on for months!"

"Mr. Tanner," the campus security guard says as he comes into the office.

"Escort Mr. McMahon to his office and let him get his things," He tells him. "He is no longer apart of the staff and therefore not allowed on campus."

"I can't believe you are actually doing this to me," he yells. "After all the shit I do around here for you, leaving you free to go off to hotels and fuck that little PTA slut of yours. You disloyal son of a bitch! Well fuck you, Tanner. And Fuck YOU, Grey. You haven't heard the last of Larry!"

I roll my eyes as he storms off like a little bitch and I don't know if it's for the idiotic threat or the fact that he refers to himself in the third person.

"Please apologize to Miss. Steele and let her know that she can have a few more days if she needs them," Tanner tells me. "I…I hope she doesn't …blame the school for this."

"Is she going to sue the shit out of your asses you mean," I cut right to it. "That is entirely up to her. But I suggest you start kissing hers, starting with that raise you owe her."

"Of course," he says. "It will reflect in her next paycheck. I…uh…I also hope what we've discussed here stays between us."

"Well Tanner, I hate to break it to you, but the whole school knows you're fucking parents," I tell him and he goes pale.

I grab Ana's bag and I walk out.

"YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH," I hear Sandy yell from somewhere in the building and it is soon followed by an unmistakable slap to a face.

"Hey! Get this bitch off of me," I hear Larry yell as Tanner and his secretary go running in his direction. "She's another one that's crazy. Her friend already made me an injured man! They are BOTH fucking crazy. Goddamnit, I'm bleeding again. HELP ME!"

I laugh as I walk out the door, heading home to Ana and the twins so that we may enjoy the first day of March and the promise of a beautiful spring together.

…

I ride the elevator up to the penthouse, getting my mind right the farther I climb.

I have a lot to talk over with Ana. I am furious that I had no clue about Larry calling her and about this fucking bracelet he gave her.

I put that on the back burner. I want today to be about us having fun as a family.

"Daddy," the twins exclaim as I get off of the elevator. I laugh as I see the excitement has yet to die down with those two.

Ana and Gail come out of the kitchen to greet me and Taylor.

"Have Reynolds accompany us on our outing and you two can have the day," I tell him and he nods as he and Gail go off to their apartment.

I smile at a eager and worried Ana reassuringly, as she wants to know what happened but knows we can't discuss it in front of the twins.

"Are we going on an outing," Teddy asks.

"It's warm outside," I tell him. "I was thinking about taking The Grace out."

"Yayyy," they both say jumping up and down.

"Go get ready," I tell them and they hurry off.

"What happened," Ana asks as we go into the bedroom.

"The bastard spilled his guts," I tell her. "He was fired effective immediately."

She breaths relieved.

"Apparently Sandy got wind of what he did to you," I tell her. "Last I heard she was giving him hell."

"I called her," Ana confesses. "I knew she would be worried and would probably try calling me. She's not in trouble is she?"

"No," I tell her. I hand her bag to her and she looks through it. "Did you call Jose? He called me wondering what happened to you last night."

"What did you tell him," she asks me.

"Just that you stayed over," I tell her.

"I talked to him, but I didn't tell him anything," she says. "I will when I see him."

She turns on her phone and it blows up with messages.

"Jose," I ask her and she laughs.

"And Char," she says texting them.

"Let's get ready to go," I tell her when she's done. "We need to have some fun."

"Okay," she says, excited.

….

"Alright guys, let's go," I call to my family as I stand in the great room.

The twins come bouncing down the stairs looking adorable, although I dare not tell my Teddy Bear that he looks adorable if I expect to keep the peace with him.

He is wearing white shorts, a blue and white striped shirt, and blue high-tops. Phoebe is in jean shorts, a heart patterned pink shirt and a pair of Taylor Swift Keds.

My adorably sexy Ana is the epitome of springtime with a flower print dress of green and peach, a blue jean jacket and peach colored wedge pumps.

I am in a simple white button down that hopefully Ana will be in later tonight, shorts, and sneakers.

She and Phoebe are busy checking out each other's footwear.

No way in hell is Phoebe wearing elevated shoes until she is at least thirty, but I'm sure I can find her a variation of Ana's shoes. Ana loves Phoebe's keds so I'll buy her a pair or a hundred as well.

"Women," Teddy says to me and he sounds so much like Elliot, I have to laugh.

I take Ana's overnight bag. The twins and I already have clothes there as we spend the night on The Grace often. I make a note to have Gail and Taylor drop some things off for Ana before we go out again.

...

The twins want to make s'mores and Ana's craving soup so we stop by the market to pick up a few things.

"What the hell is that," I ask Ana when she puts something in the basket.

"Cupa Noodles," she tells me.

"You have got to be kidding me," I say to her as I read the ingredients. "Cupa salt!"

She laughs.

"Come on," she says, snatching the little white Styrofoam cup away from me. "They are very good. Wait till you try it."

"I'm not eating that crap," I tell her. "And I don't want you eating it."

"But I'm really craving it," she tells me.

"I can make you soup," I tell her.

"But why go through the trouble when its all right here in this little cup," she asks me. "Pleeeeeease."

"So now you've moved from cans to cups," I complain.

"Let me alone, Christian Grey," she tells me as she puts the cup back in the basket and walks on.

The twins come up from wherever they've been wondering around at and hold up cans of soda and chips.

I raise an eyebrow at them.

"Pleeeeeeease," they sing to me sweetly, as Ana bites her lip to keep from laughing.

"You are not having soda, chips, and s'mores," I tell them. "Pick one."

"Awwww maaan," they groan together as they turn and go to put back the chips and the soda.

I look over at Anderson and he just shrugs before he goes off with the twins.

I look over at a now snickering Ana.

"This is your influence," I tease her and she all out laughs.

…..

We walk down the familiar path to the Grace. The twins are in front of us and Ana's hand is securely in mine. I can feel her become more relaxed the closer we get to water.

Reynolds and Anderson went ahead to do a sweep before they had back to Escala with orders to pick us up in the morning.

"Is Mac coming out with us," Ana asks me.

"Just the four of us today, Baby," I tell her and she smiles as I lift the back of her hand to my lips.

We spend the day out on the sound frolicking around on the deck.

I don't know what it is about being on this boat that turns Ana and I into big kids, but here we are acting silly and the twins are eating it up as we all play around. Ana and I can touch each other freely now, unlike the first time we were here.

This was indeed a great idea as the twins are happy and Ana's mind is off of yesterday.

The sun starts to set and we all put on warmer clothes. I light the fire pit. The twins busy themselves making their s'mores while Ana munches on her noodles of salt.

Teddy hands the first s'more he's made to Ana and Phoebe hands me her's.

"Mmmmm," I say as I chomp it down.

I look over at Ana and she is now eating s'mores and noodles. I wonder how in the hell she is keeping that combination of shit down.

"You guys want more," Teddy ask us and we are all in.

...

We've had our fill of the treat and the twins are now cuddled up next to Ana and me as we watch the sunset.

My devilish pair are telling jokes they apparently learned from school.

"Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift," Teddy asks.

"Because she had bad blood," Phoebe answers.

I am reminded of the first time we were together like this, except now Phoebe is on me while Teddy is cuddled up with Ana.

I lean over to kiss her as the sun finally dips under the water.

"Ewwww," I hear the twins say and I roll my eyes.

"Go watch your movie you two," I tell them.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **My God, it feels like forever since I've updated. I had to go and check when the last time was and it's only been four days. I swear it seems much longer to me for some reason.**

 **Well I went on facebook. I actually created a page or whatever you call it, but I don't get what the deal is. I mean now what do I do with it? It's all greek to me, so I think I'll just stick to pinterest for now until I figure out what the heck FB is all about.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	52. A Duty-Bound Man's Weakness

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fifty-Two**

 **A Duty-Bound Man's Weakness**

 **Christian's POV**

"I finally got them settled down enough to go to sleep," I tell Ana of the twins as I rejoin her on the deck of the Grace.

She sits now cuddled into me with nothing but the crackling flames of the fire pit giving off light.

"They were balls of energy today," she tells me.

"Yes they were," I agree with her. "They enjoy being with you."

"I enjoy being with them," she tells me. "I love when it's the four of us like this."

I smile as I kiss the top of her head. All of us together and having fun like today is the time that I am truly happy.

"You sure you wouldn't rather be out clubbing or hanging out with your friends," I ask her as Elliot's bullshit theory suddenly pops into my head.

"No," she says. "I love hanging out with my friends, but I don't like it more than being here with you and the twins. Besides, I never liked clubbing much anyway. I'm usually dragged along kicking and screaming. I have a lot more fun when you're there with me though."

She lifts her head to look at me.

"Why did you ask that," she asks me. "Do you really think I'd rather be anywhere else than here with you?"

"I don't know," I tell her, cursing myself for my damn insecurities, but not being able to stop them from taking root.

"This is about what happened this morning, isn't it," she asks me. I can hear the worry in her voice. "Christian, I didn't mean it."

"No, Baby it's not about that," I assure her. "Don't even give that a second thought."

"Then what," she asks me.

"It's just a conversation I had with Elliot a while back," I tell her. "I don't know why it popped into my head."

"What was it," she asks me.

"He reminded me of what it was like to be twenty-two," I tell her, "He told me that you might want to be out partying and not tied down with a man who has one divorce and two kids."

"Christian Grey," she calls my full name in chastisement as she straddles my lap. "I don't see you as a divorcee with two kids and I sure as hell don't see myself tied down. I see you as the love of my life with two wonderful kids that I couldn't love anymore if they were my own. Now will you please stop listening to your brother's advice about women? I mean this is Elliot we are talking about for Christ sakes."

I laugh.

"The love of your life, huh," I ask her.

"Mmhhmm," she tells me. "I love you more than anything, Christian."

"I love you too," I tell her. "Aside from Teddy and Phoebe, my world begins and ends with you, Ana."

"That's good to know," she beams at me. "Because when I think of my world without you three in it, it's so lonely and dark and scary, it sends me running right into your arms."

"They'll always be wide open for you," I tell her and she giggles.

"I just crossed over to the cheesy zone, didn't I," I ask her.

"No," she tells me. "You just crossed over into the amazing boyfriend zone."

"I don't want my love to hold you down," I tell her.

"Hold me down," she says. "Christian, your love has given me wings."

I go to kiss her but she jerks back.

"Baby," I call to her as I watch her face sour.

Before I realize it, she's up out of my lap and running full speed. I jump up to chase after her.

I find her bent over the master bathroom toilet violently throwing up everything she ate.

She tries to push me away, but I won't go. I hold her hair back as she heaves in the toilet bowl.

The sight and smell of the vomit is making her throw up more so I flush the toilet as she continues to hurl, but now it's just dry heaves.

"Oh God," she groans as she holds her upset and apparently still nauseous stomach. "Why am I still wanting to throw up when my stomach is already empty?"

I refrain from the unneeded I told you so as I accompany her over to the sink.

"Better," I ask her after she brushes her teeth and splashes water on her face before drying it with a towel.

She shakes her head no.

"Come on," I tell her as I lead her to the bedroom. I leave her sitting on the bed while I run out to the kitchen to get her some water.

I check on the twins one last time and they are in a coma, so I straighten them out, cover them up, and kiss them again before I head back to Ana.

She has changed into my shirt and a pair of pajama pants. Her hair is in a ponytail and I take that as a sign she feels she may throw up again.

"Here, Baby,"I tell her as I open the bottle of water for her. "Just take a few sips."

She nods her head and sips the water.

"Thank you," she says to me before sitting it next to her on the bedside table.

I quickly change and get in the bed to hold her. I wanted to fuck her in my shirt she has on tonight but that has to take a back seat to her upset stomach.

She sighs as she lays her head on my chest.

"Oh shut up," she says as I start to chuckle at her.

"Baby, I don't know what you were thinking eating that shit," I tell her and she laughs.

"I ate worse than that in college," she says to me. "All of your healthy cooking has weakened my iron stomach."

"Good," I tell her. "Maybe now you can give up the cups and cans."

"Don't bet the farm on it," she tells me and I roll my eyes.

"At least no more salt noodles and chocolate..." I start but stop when she groans at the reminder.

"Shit," I exclaim when she races to the bathroom again.

…

 **Wednesday March 2, 2016**

 **Taylor's POV**

"Aw damnit," I say when I wake to see the time is 4am, but it turns into a growl when I feel Gail stir on top of me.

"Good morning, Tiger," she tells me as she lifts her head to look up at me.

"Sweetheart, **you** are the one that knocked me out last night," I remind her.

"It was so worth it," she tells me and kisses my lips.

"I really hate to get up," I complain, wanting to stay in bed and in her for the rest of the morning.

Normally when Grey is out like this, we'd take advantage of the time off, but today I have a mission that starts too damn early.

I give my girl another kiss before I drag my ass out of bed and into the shower.

…

I'm heading across town to Lincoln Park. I'm pretty sure Luke still works out there every morning. I have strict orders to get him on Grey's payroll as Ana's CPO. That slip of a girl has quickly become his world and he wants the best to protect her.

I haven't seen him this picky about CPOs since the twins were old enough to have their own. He went through two dozen before he found Marcello. Being one of the secret service men that guarded the Bush Twins, he was highly recommended by Welch.

I was working for GEH's head of security, Wrigley Warren, back then. I was promoted when he retired. I upgraded the security systems and brought in some of the guys I worked with in the military. Grey was so impressed that he quickly made me his CPO.

I wasn't a live-in at that time being still married, but when that shit went south, Grey offered me this apartment. I moved in, met my girl, and she helped me with a lot of the bullshit I was going through with my fucked-up ex-wife. I guess Grey and I have a lot in common that way as Ana is helping him heal from his farce of a marriage.

It's a great job but boring as hell. I swear the guy doesn't do anything. You'd think with all the money he makes, he'd leave the kids to be raised by nannies and jet off every other day to some exotic island with a few fuckable arm candies.

Maybe get in trouble with the law for drunk driving or whatever the fuck these rich celebrity types get in trouble for, but not Harry Homemaker. The guy is more content learning fucking recipes and playing around with his girlfriend and kids when he's not working his ass off running his own company. How can you not respect the fuck out of a guy for that?

The **one** time some serious shit goes down and my ass is on **vacation**!

Fucking Marcello can't stop talking about that shit. I swear I will never live it down.

At least I redeemed myself when that slimy bastard went after Ana. If I would have let Grey have his way, he'd surely be in jail right now and his family would be devastated, especially Ana and the twins and I couldn't have that.

I get out of the shower and try Luke's cell again but he's not answering. I have Welch track him down and he's given me his general area in the park.

"And if he doesn't agree to CPO for Ana," Gail asks me as I brush past her to get ready.

"I'll make sure he does," I tell her. "Mr. Grey will give him whatever he wants."

"Has Mr. Grey ever met Sawyer," she asks me.

"Not in person, no," I tell her.

"He's never seen a picture of him," she asks.

"Nope," I say to her.

She laughs.

"What's so funny," I ask her.

"Oh nothing," she says as she walks away heading toward the kitchen.

"You think he'll have a problem with how Luke looks," I ask her. "I know he's a young guy of just thirty but he is fit and has more than enough experience to do the required job."

"Oh it's not his qualification," she tells me. "It's the young fit part that might present a problem. You really think he'll be okay with Luke guarding Ana?"

"He's not a jealous guy" I tell her.

"We are talking about our boss right," she clarifies.

"He's never been jealous before...shit," I say at my oversight.

Of course he's never been jealous before he met Ana. He's never been this much in love before either. He nearly ripped her gay friend a new ass the first night they met. How the fuck is he going to handle her being alone with Luke? He practically wants the girl glued to his hip now as it is. Her fucking leg is going to be constantly wet with piss from him marking his territory on her every chance he gets.

….

 **Ana's POV**

Principle Tanner called me early this morning to "check up on me" he said.

I told him I was fine, even though it was a lie. My stomach has been driving me crazy all night with nausea, my penance for eating junk food. I have no regrets though, those noodles and s'mores where so good I'd risk up chucking all over again.

Tanner insisted I stay off another day with full pay off course and I take him up on his offer. Christian wouldn't have let me go in any way without a fight seeing as how I groaned all night long, keeping us both awake.

We had breakfast on the Grace this morning, well he and the twins had breakfast. I popped a couple of antacids and choked down some granola.

"Baby, why don't you just stay at Escala," Christian tells me now as Reynolds drives me to my apartment before dropping him off at work. Anderson already dropped the twins off at school. They were not at all happy that they couldn't stay home again with me.

"I need to check in with Jose," I tell Christian. "He's getting worked up about his gallery showing."

"I can imagine," Christian says. "It's going to be an important night for him."

"And we'll all be there to share it with him," I tell him. "I also need to change my locks…"

"I took care of it," he tells me.

"Wha..When," I ask him.

"On my way back to you yesterday when I realized that fucker had your bag," he says. "Passed out or not, I don't trust him."

"Me either," I tell him.

"Then move in with me," he says.

My God he just springs this stuff on me without warning.

"Umm...How about I just stop by for dinner tonight," I tell him, with a pleading face for him not to push the issue.

"Fine," he grumbles dropping it. "For now."

….

"How's your stomach," he asks as we walk to my apartment. His hand locks with mine even for the short distance it takes to go inside my building.

"Much better," I tell him.

"Maybe it was being out on the boat," he says.

"I don't think so," I tell him. "I didn't even feel it moving. I think it was just some bug on top of what I ate."

He lets me in, gives me my new keys, and goes over my new fancy security system that "his guy Welch" put in. He even put in a new reinforced door and frame with a deadbolt that closes to make an airtight seal a level four tornado couldn't get open. He did the same to my bedroom door. He even installed a independent phone line with its own power source.

"This Welch guy is like MacGyver," I tell Christian. He gives me a look that let's me know he has no clue of who MacGyver is. "Nevermind."

This is the result of living with two old army guys and one television. I've been subjected to every tough guy TV show known to man.

He checks every nook and cranny of my three room apartment before he feels comfortable with leaving me.

"I'll have Reynolds bring you lunch," he tells me.

"I'm going to see Townsend, so I'll just grab something," I tell him.

"I'll see you for dinner," he reminds me.

"Yes," I tell him. "I'll be there before you come home from work."

"Okay," he tells me and kisses me goodbye.

"Have a good day at the office, Dear," I tease him.

" I intend to have a even better night with you," he tells me. He smacks me on my ass and walks away.

 **…** **..**

 **Taylor's POV**

I spend fifteen minutes searching the damn park before I spot Luke doing dips on a set of parallel bars.

He's shirtless in running shorts and shoes. I glance behind him and see a group of three girls pretending to work out. They soon give up and plant themselves on a blanket right behind him as they blatantly stare his way, making it obvious that they are talking about him.

"You have fans," I tell him as I approach.

His focused scowl gives way to a grin as he leaves the bars to speak to me.

"What brings you all the way out here this early in the morning, T," he asks me.

He lifts his leg behind him and grabs hold of his foot to stretch. The girl's mouths fall open behind him as he balances on one leg.

I roll my eyes. He knows exactly what he's doing.

"I have a job for you," I tell him and now he is all about business.

"Let's hear it," he says, eager for a meaty new assignment to hone his skills.

"Mr. Grey needs for you to be his girlfriend's CPO," I tell him and watch as his attentive face falls into disappointment.

"You have got to be shitting me," he tells me. "You know I don't do that type of work, T."

"Make an exception this time," I tell him.

"I'm not cut out to be a babysitter," he tells me. "And I'm sure as hell not going to be used for some guy who can't keep his woman in line."

"It's not about that," I tell him. "He's a rich guy that has made a lot of enemies. Enemies that he doesn't want to use his family as payback."

"I'm sure he has people to guard against that," he tells me. "What does he need me for?"

"He wants the best for her," I tell him. "And that's you. He's willing to meet your demands to make it happen."

"Are you telling me he'll give me any damn thing I want," he asks me for clarification.

"Name it," I tell him.

He shakes his head negatively.

"I'm still not working for the guy," he tells me.

"Luke, you just won't be working for him, you'll be working to protect her," I say handing him my phone so that he can see the picture of Ana Gail took yesterday.

"What happened to her shoulders," he asks as he studies the picture.

I know I am ticking all the right boxes right now. He can't resist helping out a girl.

 _"A duty-bound man's weakness," my dad always said about a girl in trouble. "Just take a look through history, Son. Empires have fallen over some prick's desire to help out a woman."_

"Her co-worker attacked her in his office yesterday," I explain to Luke now. "He is a sick son of a bitch who blames her for getting him fired and with that …"

"He could come after her," he says, still eyeing her picture.

"We have eyes on him but anything is a possibility," I tell him. "Look at her. She's as sweet as the picture suggest. The poor girl is a magnet for nutholes, add to that a super rich boyfriend and it's only a matter of time before one of them crawls out of the woodwork."

He hands me back my phone and I know I've got him.

"I have two demands," he tells me.

"Shoot," I say to him.

"No men in black suits," he says. "I don't mind wearing them if I'm guarding her at some fancy shindig, but I can't work wearing that uncomfortable shit every day."

"Done," I tell him as I wait for the other demand.

"I work for her," he says pointing to my phone. "Not him. I'm not interested at what's going on at the popular table in Forks High. The minute this shit gets juvenile and he starts demanding reports on who she's spending her time with or dragging me into some spat their having, I'm done. I don't need the drama."

"How are we supposed to determine whose a threat," I ask him, knowing damn well Grey is going to have a shit fit about him not getting direct reports on the fucking hour of every fucking hour.

Ryan nearly had a nervous breakdown having to sneak reports to him on those times he was gaurding Ana. I laugh at the poor guy. He was caught between Grey's Wrath and Ana's if she found him out. That girl has a lot of her daddy hidden in her. I witnessed it first hand when she nearly blew up at him and Ray.

"Well if you thought I was that damn incompetent, you sure as hell wouldn't have come all this way asking for my demands," Luke tells me now.

The smug SOB knows he's got me over a barrel.

"Done," I tell him.

"Then you have yourself a new employee," he tells me, shaking my hand.

"I'll call you when I've got it all squared away," I tell him. "She's not exactly receptive to the idea of a CPO."

"I like her already," he tells me. "I look forward to working with you again, T."

He turns back and looks at his fangirls.

"See you tomorrow, Ladies," he tells them.

"Byyyee," they sing to him.

They watch in awe as he makes a show of running off.

I'm left in his wake feeling like I just made a deal with the devil, but I'm not quite sure if it's going to be Luke or Grey that will put the fear of God in me when it's all said and done.

The girls are left looking at me.

"Ladies," I say to them.

I am met with waves and giggles as they check me out.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	53. Needing Him

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fifty-Three**

 **Needing Him**

 **Ana's POV**

"Bitch where have you been," Jose ask me as he lets me in to his apartment. "And why are you not at work?"

"Josie, leave the girl alone," Derrick scolds him. "She has a right to spend time with her boo if she wants to."

"Mhm," Jose says, hugging me. "I guess. Well not that I blame you, girl, I would be under him every chance I got and around him for that matter."

"You know what, Jose Rodriguez…" Derrick starts to argue.

"I was attacked the other day," I blurt out.

Jose and Derrick become stuck in their poses like someone's just stopped time. Their eyes bugging and their mouths opening in a silent gasp are the only signs of them moving.

The dam I'd been holding since it happened, bursts. I sit down with a thud on their couch and start crying. They both rush over, each sitting on either side of me.

Derrick automatically goes into supportive social worker mode while Jose is threatening bloody murder complete with full scale torture of my attacker.

Derrick holds my hand while Jose hugs me close to him. Once I've calmed down enough, I tell them what happened with Larry.

"That limp dick son of a bitch," Jose says angrily. "I am going to find his ass. Ricky, call Ronald."

"That's right," Derrick says going on the hunt for his cell phone. Not being able to find it, he leaves to search the bedroom.

"Whose Ronald," I ask Jose.

"He works at the DMV," he tells me as he heads for a drawer that sits near the front door. "He can find anybody."

"Jose," I exclaim shocked when he opens up the drawer and pulls out a gun. "What the hell are you doing, put that thing away!"

"Oh no no no, honey," he says, bring the hand gun up, examining it. "That fool is trippin. He must got me fucked up if he thinks he's going to get away with hurting my sistergirlfriend."

"Jose," I yell again.

"Josie put that damn thing away," Derrick tells him, coming back into the room, cell phone in hand.

"Where the hell did you get that," I ask him.

"It's just a water gun," Derrick tells me.

"Well that asshole doesn't have to know that," Jose says, putting the barrel of the gun in his mouth to squirt the water before he puts it down. I cringe as my stomach rolls at the sight of him. God only knows how old that water is in there.

"Don't you dare call this Ronald," I tell Derrick as he scrolls through his phone. "Christian already took care of it."

"I just bet he did," Jose says. "Oh my Gawd, poor Christian."

He slaps his palms to his cheeks as his mouth hangs open.

"Oh, can you imagine," Derrick says, fretting about him just as much as Jose. "He must be beside himself with this happening. Is he okay?"

"He took it pretty hard...wait what," I say to them, realization dawning. "What about me?"

"Oh of course," they both say, running over to comfort me again. Jose takes up his position holding me while Derrick takes my hand.

"You okay," Derrick asks.

"Uh huh," I say sniffing dramatically.

I laugh to myself as I think I've been hanging around my sweet little Phoebe so long, she is rubbing off on me.

…..

I spend a few hours with Jose and Derrick. I beg him to tell me all about his gallery and what I've missed these last few days. It is a welcomed distraction and gets me feeling a lot like myself again.

After reassuring them both that I'm okay and that Jose's opening can only be successuful, I leave the apartment a little before eleven. I want to get to Townsend so that I may go have lunch after.

I fume when I spot Ryan tailing me, but I decide not to say anything to Christian about it.

I arrive just in time for my appointment. A guy about my age rushes pass me hauling ass out of the building and soon after, her receptionist tells me to go on in.

"You've cut your hair," I tell her when I enter her office.

She is sitting in her chair with one stiletto footed leg crossed, swinging it to and fro.

"I also broke up with my boyfriend," she says. "But that is for **my** therapist to work out."

"You have a…" I say but stop when she smiles secretively at me.

"You'd be surprised how many of us do," she tells me.

I nod as I set down.

"Umm," I say when I look at her chest. "You have uhh...your blouse is…"  
I point to her chest. Her polka dot black and white blouse is undone and her black bra is showing.

"Damn," she says buttoning up. "I guess that's what my last client was starring at. I'm sure I traumatize him," she says writing it down. "So what brings you in Ana?"

"I lashed out at Christian when he grabbed me yesterday morning," I tell her.

"I see," she says writing it down. "What brought that on?"

"I was attacked by my co-worker the day before," I tell her. "He wouldn't let me leave his office and I grabbed a letter opener and stabbed him in the chest."

"Was it a sexual attack," she asks me and I nod.

"He held me down so that I couldn't get up from my seat and said that he knew that I wanted him," I tell her. "But I got away from him and ran to Christian. His dad is a lawyer and its been taking care of."

"Even so, it must have been a very traumatic experience for you," she tells me and I nod. "I want to make sure it wasn't a major setback."

"It hasn't been," I tell her.

"You lashed out at Christian," she says.

"He made me angry," I tell her, "more frustrated really. I wanted to deal with Larry, my co-worker myself but Christian wanted to handle it. When I started to walk away from him, he grabbed my waist to turn me around. I yelled at him not to touch me and pushed him away."

"How did you feel at that moment," she asks me.

"Scared, angry at myself, weak, gullible, stupid," I answer her.

"That's a lot," she tells me. "I get the scared part, but why the rest?"

"For letting this happen to myself again," I tell her. "I had even promised Christian I wouldn't be alone with Larry because he didn't like him and honestly, he was creepy, but I just ignored it and went on in anyway."

"Why did you do that," she asks me.

"I felt bad," I tell her. "He hadn't done anything before then. I mean, it's true he didn't pick up on social cues and he would ingratiate himself in our group, but he wasn't dangerous acting. I know what it's like to not fit in with people and I just…felt bad for him."

"There is nothing weak or gullible or stupid about that, Ana," she tells me. "He is the bastard that ought to feel ashamed of himself not you."

I nod.

"Have your nightmares returned," she asks.

"I had one that night, but Christian was right there," I tell her. "He helped me."

"Panic attacks," she asks.

"Not since the moment it happened," I tell her.

"Intimacy issues," she asks.

"No," I tell her. "Christian and I made love after I pushed him away."

"Really," she says and I know that's her way of asking me to elaborate. So I explain us making love the way we did.

"So you wanted to make up for hurting him," she says.

"No, I felt awful for hurting him," I tell her. "But it was because I felt him slipping away from me. I hated the feeling and so did he. We both felt lost and I wanted to bond us again. I wanted him. I…needed him."

"You say 'needing him' like it's a bad thing," she says to me.

"I feel it is," I tell her. "Christian makes it very easy to need. He makes the people he cares for feel safe and loved. He even insisted on taking care of things with Larry. But I shouldn't have let him do that."

"You think it was wrong of him to handle that for you," she asks me.

"I don't know," I tell her. "Doesn't it look bad that I let my boyfriend fight my battles for me? Isn't it wrong to let him do that?"

"Only you can answer if it's wrong for you," she tells me. "But if you are asking if it's a red flag for him turning into Travis, no. Ana, there isn't a man alive that would let their girlfriend, parent, child, or anyone they love go back and face that alone after they've been sexually attacked."

"I guess so," I tell her.

"You didn't answer my question. Why do you think it's wrong to need him so much," she asks me.

"Well isn't it," I ask her, frustrated. "I mean aren't I suppose to be independent and all that."

She smiles at my rant.

"The fact that you refer to it as 'all that' makes me think you are struggling with it," she tells me.

"I am," I tell her. "I like being loved and taken care of by Christian. I love being with him and the twins. Being independent without them sucks."

"You can be with all of them and still have your independence," she tells me. "The two are not necessarily exchangeable."

"He wants me to move in with him," I tell her.

"And you want to," she asks.

I nod.

"Then why are you hanging on to not doing it so fiercely," she asks me.

"There are a lot of variables to consider," I tell her. "Right now we've been in our own little worlds just sharing all of the good stuff, but if we move in together, we'll be sharing complete lives and space all the time. It's not just Christian and I, we have to think about the twins. With my melodrama and his need to protect me, what if we just end up driving each other crazy?"

"I don't think that would be the case," she says. "First of all I wouldn't describe you as melodramatic. Stubborn and hot-headed, maybe. Combine that with your sweet spirit and I see why a guy like Christian would be enamored and driven to protect you. It's not uncommon for a boyfriend to want to protect..."

"He has security reporting on me right now," I interrupt her. "He doesn't think I know, but I know. Who does THAT? How am I going to live with that? What if we don't work out?"

"Apparently Christian Grey does that," she says. "You'll live with it by setting boundaries and compromising."

"You sound like Christian," I tell her.

"Smart man," she tells me. "And by some chance it doesn't work out, then you'll all go back to your lives before. You were happy for the most part, before you met. You'll lick you wounds with the support of your friends and when you are ready you will put yourself out there again."

"You make it sound so easy," I tell her.

"Not easy, but you could do it," she tells me. "You and I both know that, the same way we both know that the two of you will do everything you can to make it work. So why don't you tell me why you are really holding back from Christian. The last I heard you were all in."

"I am," I tell her. "I am all in."

"But you're still holding on to your 'independence and all that'," she says. She actually uses the quotation fingers. "Now there is nothing wrong with that, Ana. It's something that you've enjoyed up until this point. There is nothing wrong with taking things slow."

"Exactly," I tell her, triumphantly.

"But," she says. "I'm not getting that vibe from you. In fact I think all this sudden worry about melodrama, safety, and not working out is all smoke and mirrors. So what are you not willing to face?"

I sigh in sudden defeat.

"I'm afraid that if I finally give in, I'll lose him and the twins. That it would all be some sick cosmic joke on me because…." I stop.

"Because," she says.

"They are too good to be true and I don't deserve to be this happy," I whisper to her, afraid the Gods will hear my confession.

"Ana," she starts. "You have been through so much in your life. Equally, you have overcome so much. If you want to tally up the points of who deserves what in life, you have most certainly banked enough of them to deserve being happy. If Christian Grey is it for you then I say go for it. The planets are not aligned against you."

"And if you're wrong," I tell her.

"I've been right so far," she says, pretending to haughtily study her French manicured nails.

I roll my eyes at her.

…..

 **Taylor's POV**

I step off the elevator on the top floor of Grey House freshly showered and suited up for work.

After leaving Luke to his workout, I went home and worked out inside of Gail for the better part of an hour. I left her thoroughly fucked and sleeping it off in bed before coming over here.

"How's he doing today," I ask Andrea when I make it over to her desk with the lunch I got from her favorite deli down the block.

"The usual," she tells me taking the bags, "teetering on all out catastrophe and euphoria."

I laugh at her accurate description. The boss is a moody, hard ass, and take no shit son of a bitch, on his best day. I've seen him send grown men running crying from his office. But as much of a bastard as he is, he has an Achilles heel. Seven of them to be exact: Carrick, Grace, Elliot, Kate, Mia, Teddy, and Phoebe. Now we can add Ana to that list and catapult her right up to the top next to the twins.

Andrea unpacks her sandwich and carries the rest in to the boss, along with his coke she got from her personal mini fridge. I grab a coke for myself and am now hot on her heels. I know he's eager to get the report on Luke.

"Well," he says, as I come into his office holding the door for Andrea.

He thanks her as she sits his lunch down and sets it all up for us.

Before I can answer his phone alerts and I wait for him to read the message.

"Ana is at Townsend's office," He tells me after Andrea leaves. Apparently Ryan has just checked in with him.

He had him shadow her today.

The boss doesn't feel right leaving her alone so soon after that fucker attacked her. Anything can happen from her having a panic attack to someone scaring her out on the street and I have to agree with him on that. I know she feels she can handle it all, but how much is too much?

He bites into his Philly cheese steak sandwich and twists open his bottle of coke.

"So talk to me about Sawyer," he says, wiping his mouth.

"He is eager to start as Ana's CPO," I tell him.

I want to shove my whole sandwich in my mouth to keep from talking about this.

"Great," he says feeling wonderful that it's falling into place.

"He had two conditions," I go on to say.

"Only two," he says surprised and I nod. "Well let's hear them."

"Well one is that he doesn't want to wear the everyday suit," I tell him as I smooth down my lapel. He finds them constricting."

"What kind of a man doesn't want to wear a suit, Taylor," he tells me.

I nearly laugh, but stop when I see he is dead serious. I pretend to clear my throat instead as I take a sip of my coke.

"Well he's more of a leather kind of a guy," I explain.

"Leather," he says eyeing me and I nod. "Fine, I'll make an exception. What else?"

I clear my throat again, trying to think of a way to spin the last demand so he doesn't blow a damn gasket.

"Do you need a lozenge, Taylor," he asks me.

"I'll be fine, Sir," I tell him, taking another sip of my drink.

"The other demand," he asks me.

"Well Sawyer is aware that Miss. Steele may have some objection to him," I start. "Having explained her strong will and need for independence, he's come up with the perfect solution and I think you'll agree it will be the best approach in dealing with Miss. Steele."

"Sounds good," he says. "I'm impressed by his initiative."

"I figured you would be, Sir," I slather it on thick. "He being a profiler gives him certain insights and advantages on how to handle these delicate situations. And you have to agree that Miss. Steele is as delicate as they come."

He nods in total understanding.

"What's the solution," he says.

He rolls his eyes, annoyed, when I absentmindedly clear my throat again.

"Sawyer believes the best way to go about getting her to agree would be if he works for her directly," I tell him like its genius.

His face instantly turns to CEO death mode.

 _And here comes the shit storm_

"That's the brilliant fucking solution," he yells. "What the fuck does that mean? He works for her…for HER? How the fuck does that suppose to work?"

"Well," I start. "It would be similar to how you and I operate. You trust me to keep you out of harm's way _and out of jail._ And Miss. Steele would trust Sawyer in that same manner. He's agreed to report any and all dangers to you."

"No hourly reports," he spits out.

"It goes against the whole trust...thing, Sir," I explain to him.

"Well put that shit back on the drawing board," he tells me. "No way in hell am I agreeing to that shit. He works for ME. He reports EVERYTHING to Me."

"Sir, if you'd just think about it for a moment…" I begin.

"I'm done thinking about it," he tells me.

"Mr. Grey," Andréa's voice comes on the speaker.

"What," he says her still pissed.

"Your 1 o'clock is here," she tells him, unfazed by his temper.

"Give me five minutes," he tells her.

"I want Ana to meet him after dinner tonight," he tells me. "I'm sure between the four of us, we can come up with another solution to Ana's reluctance."

He stops talking effectively dismissing me. I nod and leave him to his meeting, but I can see that I've planted a seed. Hopefully by the end of the day he'll be more agreeable.

…..

 **Ana's POV**

"We were supposed to be talking about my attack, you know," I tell Townsend as my time is up.

"It seems you are processing that extremely well," she tells me. "Its fresh and your reaction to it is spot on. If issues start to remerge again, I want to see you sooner rather than later. I want you to focus on not only dealing with that, but getting this doom and gloom waiting for the other shoe to drop under control. It's robbing you of the happiness that you deserve."

I leave her office feeling much better than when I came in. I'm seeing things a whole lot clearer. It always amazes me how that works. I think it's something in her automatic air freshener.

I decide to go down the hall and check in on Brandon. It's been a while since I heard from him.

Like I always do, I rush past Hilda. Like she always does, she pursues scolding me for not stopping by her desk first. I already know Brandon's schedule and I know he doesn't take clients after noon.

Again, like always, I open his door without knocking. I'm expecting to see him engrossed in work at his desk, but what I find instead leaves me dumbfounded.

He's sitting at his desk with Jess standing as if she's getting ready to go. I'm sure they heard Hilda's loud mouth coming, but they've clearly been taken by surprise by the sight of me.

"I'm sorry Mr. Ramsey," Hilda says. "I didn't get a chance to tell her you were with a client."

"It's alright," he tells her and she quickly leaves.

Now I feel terrible.

I'm about to apologize for interrupting their session, but i suddenly remember Christian worrying that Townsend was both of our doctors.

We all stare at each other.

Brandon is trying his best to look normal and give me that impassive shrink look, but he's gone terribly pale. He has a stupid grin plastered on his face, but I can see beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

At the same time, Jess grins at me. It is meant to be friendly, but she looks like she's been caught speeding and is about to sweet talk her way out of the ticket.

They are both fidgeting and couldn't look more guilty if they tried.

"What the hell is going on," I finally accuse them and watch as their faces morph into panic at seemingly being caught.

* * *

 **A/N: Well we had some strong reactions to Sawyer.**

 **Have you all seen the latest pictures of Jamie and Dakota on set? My God, Jamie is so hot he is on fire!**

 **It looks like most of you have the same questions:**

 *** Sawyer will not be reporting Ana's every move to Christian. It was one of the things I hated in the book so I try to leave it out of my stories. He also will not be on Christian's payroll as this Luke is a bit different, but that's up next.**

 ***No Luke is not after Ana romantically and this is not a cheat story.**

 **Thanks again for reading and reviewing.**


	54. Right or No?

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fifty-Four**

 **Right or No?**

 **Ana's POV**

I decide to go down the hall and check in on Brandon. It's been a while since I heard from him.

Like I always do, I rush past Hilda. Like she always does, she pursues scolding me for not stopping by her desk first. I already know Brandon's schedule and I know he doesn't take clients after noon.

Again, like always, I open his door without knocking. I'm expecting to see him engrossed in work at his desk, but what I find instead leaves me dumbfounded.

He's sitting at his desk with Jess standing as if she's getting ready to go. I'm sure they heard Hilda's loud mouth coming, but they've clearly been taken by surprise by the sight of me.

"I'm sorry Mr. Ramsey," Hilda says. "I didn't get a chance to tell her you were with a client."

"It's alright," he tells her and she quickly leaves.

Now I feel terrible.

I'm about to apologize for interrupting their session, but I suddenly remember Christian worrying that Townsend was both of our doctors.

We all stare at each other.

Brandon is trying his best to look normal and give me that impassive shrink look, but he's gone terribly pale. He has a stupid grin plastered on his face, but I can see beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

At the same time, Jess grins at me. It is meant to be friendly, but she looks like she's been caught speeding and is about to sweet talk her way out of the ticket.

They are both fidgeting and couldn't look more guilty if they tried.

"What the hell is going on," I finally accuse them and watch as their faces morph into panic at seemingly being caught.

The more I study the scene before me the more bizarre it appears.

Jess is now looking more like she just jumped away from Brandon.

I study her and she is disheveled. Her face is flushed and hair is messy. Her black sweater is down off her shoulders. She catches my stare and quickly pulls it back into place.

"I guess I should let you two talk," she says. "Nice to see you again, Ana."

She brushes past me. I watch as she gives a glance to Brandon before she closes the door.

He is now up out of his chair buttoning his suit jacket up.

"What brings you by, Ana," he says to me.

"Seriously," I say back to him and he drops his shrink act.

"Ana, it's not what it looks like," he finally tells me.

"Yeah I think it's exactly what it looks like," I tell him. "And it looked like I sure interrupted It."

"You didn't…I mean you did, but…Ana," he calls for me. "It's not what you think."

"I think you are together with Jess," I tell him. "I think I just nearly caught you two canoodling in your office. I **knewww** you had a girlfriend. I just didn't think it would be…. **her**."

"There is nothing wrong with **her** ," he says defensively.

"No, of course not," I clarify. "But Jessica Grey, for Christ Sakes! Oh my God, I almost invited you over to a couple's night. Can you imagine how awkward that would have been?"

He laughs.

"Not funny Ramsey," I tell him.

"It is a little funny when you think about it," he tries to joke.

"Oh God," I groan, thinking about it. "When did you two happen? How? Why?"

"We didn't plan for it to happen," he tells me. "I saw her around here from time to time and we would talk in passing. Then, we ran into each other on New Year's."

"New Year's," I say. "The New York trip you were supposed to take with me?"

"You were busy," he says flatly. I really try not to blush at just how busy I was.

"Anyway," he continues. "We ran into each other at a bar and had a few drinks together. We started talking. We both opened up about...things. After that, we just started bumping into each other and hanging out. She's a great girl, Ana."

"This I know," I tell him. "And you are a great guy. It's all….great."

"I knew you wouldn't make a big deal out of it," he tells me.

"Yeah..no," I start. "I mean, it is great. I just wish you wouldn't be great together."

"Oh come on, Ana, really," he tells me.

"What do you want me to say," I ask him. "You are one of my oldest friends and she…she is… well you **know** who she is…isn't this breaking the friend code?"

"Absolutely not," he says. "No, it's not. We are a degree away from the code."

"Why didn't you tell me it was her when I asked you and does Char know," I ask.

"Nobody knows," he tells me. "It just sort of happened, Ana. We've been trying to keep it just between us so we could figure us out and see if it's worth…this."

"What this," I ask him and he motions between the two of us. I look down at myself and then him in confusion.

He sighs and rolls his eyes at me.

"The fall out," he tells me. "Jess is worried that this is going to get in the way of our friendship and more importantly she's worried that Christian will have a problem with it."

"Because he doesn't like you," I tell him.

"And he doesn't trust her track record all that much," he explains to me.

"Wait a second, you are nothing like that creepy car guy she was dating and Christian knows that," I say.

"We are talking about Christian Grey," he tells me. "The same guy who…"

"Hey," I stop him. "Let's not start in on Christian."

"Okay, fine, but she's worried that his hatred for me could tear apart all the progress they've made," he explains to me. "She doesn't want to lose his friendship and I don't want to lose yours. But she has a lot to risk."

"The twins," I ask him and he nod yes. "I can't speak for Christian, but I know that he loves those kids and they would be lost without their mother."

"Yes, they would, and Jess would be lost without them," He tells me. "I won't ask you to keep this from him."

"Good," I tell him.

"So, are we still friends," he asks. "I mean you are like a sister to me...well not really because, lets face it I've been wanting to be more with you, but I like you more than my own sister. I mean not like in that way..."

"Brandon," I stop his rambling. "I get what you mean."

"Is this going to be too weird for you to deal with," he asks me.

"I'm….weirded out," I confess. "But I'll get over it…eventually. Oh God, I can't believe this. You are happy though…right…or no?"

"Yes," he says, quickly.

"Fine," I tell him, defeated.

….

 **Jess's POV**

I sit waiting in my car for Ana and I see I'm not the only one waiting for her. Ryan is parked across the lot looking bored out of his mind. I want to wave to him, but I pretend not to see him.

Instead I let my mind drift back to when I first saw Brandon in that bar in New York.

 _"Mrs. Grey," he said to me._

 _"Dr. Ramsey," I said to him._ _"And its just Jess, by the way."_

 _"Call me Brandon," He told me._

 _"Have a seat, Brandon."_

 _"_ _Of all the places and people in the world, look who I run into." he said sitting down on the empty bar stool next to me._

 _"_ _What ARE you doing here," I asked him._

 _"_ _Forgetting my problems."_

 _"_ _I thought your kind wasn't allowed to have problems," I told hm._

 _"_ _Oh we have our fair share. We are human after all," he said to me. "Mine happens to be a matter of the heart."_

 _"_ _The girlfriend dumping you kind," I asked him._

 _"_ _More of the unrequited love of a girl kind," He told me. "I am in love with a former patient of mine."_

 _"_ _That is highly unprofessional of you, Doctor."_

 _"_ _Like I said, we are human," he told me. "Don't worry. I didn't break any ethical codes."_

 _"_ _That's good."_

 _"_ _Why are you here," he asked me._

 _"_ _I was on my way to check on my penthouse and I thought I would have a drink to celebrate the start of a new year and a new life for me," I told him._

 _"_ _I'll drink to that," He says to me. "Stay a while longer and we can celebrate together."_

 _"_ _I thought you were drowning your sorrows," I asked him._

 _"_ _Now I'm celebrating running into a….friend," he answered._

 _"_ _Alright, friend," I said. "I'll have another drink with you."_

So lost in my thoughts, I nearly miss Ana as she walks past me.

"Ana," I get out of my car and call for her.

"Hey…. Hi, Jess," she says to me.

"I was hoping we could talk," I tell her.

We walk over to the café two doors down.

"I just thought we should clear the air," I tell her as she sips her tea and I have my coffee.

"A lot has happened since last we spoke," she tells me and I nod.

"Yes," I tell her. "Well at least it's not as awkward as the last time. That's progress, right?"

"Yes it is," she laughs. "Jess, Brandon told me that you are worried about Christian."

"He may be reluctant to accept my choices after everything," I state the obvious.

"I've known Brandon for a long time and he's….not a terrible choice," she tells me and I smile. "Christian will see that."

"I want you to know that I didn't plan this," I tell her. "I know you thought that once I signed the divorce papers, I would be out of your hair and here I am dating your best friend's brother who you see as a brother. It looks suspicious."

"No, not at all," she says, trying and failing miserably at reassuring me.

I laugh guiltily.

"Jess," she calls me. "We all make really terrible choices at some point in our lives. I can attest to that, believe me, but we have to….keep going. We can't let it define us. You deserve to be happy."

"Townsend," I ask her, recognizing the spiel.

"Yes," she breaths out. "But it's true though. If Brandon is that for you, I say take a chance on it."

She looks at her cell phone as it buzzes again for the third time.

"Christian," I ask her.

"Yeah," she says. "Ryan probably told him we were together."

"He's not very stealth, is he," I say to her about Ryan.

"Not at all," she agrees. "But I should get going. I want to bake cupcakes for…"

Her face falls in realization.

"For the twins," I finish for her.

She nods.

"Jess, I want you to know that I would never try to take your place," she says. "Not that I ever could, but please know that I respect you as their mother. They just adore you so much. And I want to thank you for talking to them about me being in their lives. You could have so easily made it difficult."

I simply nod. I don't tell her that doing that would have been detrimental to Teddy who thinks she hung the moon as teachers and friends go.

"They are great kids," I tell her instead.

"The best," she agrees. "Take care, Jess."

"You too, Ana," I tell her.

….

 **Ana's POV**

I make it to my car and call Christian back.

"What the hell are you doing with Jess," he says answering my call on the first ring.

"What do you mean," I ask him.

"Oh don't play dumb with me, Ana," he tells me. "You were just having coffee with her."

"I had tea," I correct him. "And just how do you know that we were together, Christian?"

There is a pause.

"Never-mind how I know," he finally tells me and I roll my eyes at that being all he came up with. "And don't roll your eyes at me."

"I will until you stop sending your 007 minions to spy on me," I spit back.

"He wasn't spying," he corrects me. "He was guarding you."

"Oh please," I say.

"Ana, you never answered my question," he reminds me.

"If you want me over your place for dinner, I suggest you let me drive," I tell him. "Can we talk about it when you get home?"

"Fine," he tells me sighing. "Drive carefully."

I don't take the opportunity to say that I'm sure Ryan has reported how well I'm driving.

"Okay," I tell him instead. "Love you."

"Love you," he says. I can hear the grin in his voice and I roll my eyes. "And don't roll…"

"Oh shut up," I cut him off and hang up.

I merge into traffic and drive to the nearby grocery market.

I call Gail to let her know that I'll make dinner tonight and then busy myself with shopping. Suddenly, I am in an incredible mood as I move around the grocery store buying things I know everyone will like. I even stop by the flower shop to pick up a few flowers to decorate the penthouse before heading over.

Ryan comes over when I pull into Escala to help me with the bags.

"How was your day, Ryan," I ask him.

"Very eventful, Ma'am," he tells me as he helps me unload my car.

I was going to say something sarcastic but we are distracted by the roar of a motorcycle.

We both turn in the same direction as it comes to a stop in one of the parking spaces a few cars down.

We watch as a tall well built guy gets off the bike. He takes off his helmet and I see that his black hair is cut short. He is wearing black jeans, t shirt, leather jacket, and a pair of motorcycle boots.

He walks toward us and I look at a smiling Ryan as he obviously knows him.

"Sawyer," Ryan says to him with fondness. "I can't believe it."

"Ryan," he says as he approaches. "Good to see you again."

He turns to me

"And whose this," he asks.

"Ana," I say to him. I shake his offered hand as he smiles at me.

"Miss. Steele," Ryan corrects me and I roll my eyes.

It doesn't go unnoticed by Sawyer as his striking smile broadens in amusement.

So caught up in it, I realize I'm still pumping his hand and I let it go a little embarrassed.

"Let me help you carry the rest of those," he says.

"Thanks," I tell him handing over my share of the bags. I hang on to the flowers myself.

We all walk over to the elevator together and wait as Ryan punches in the code. I look to see if Sawyer will punch his floor but he doesn't.

"Do you live here," I ask him as my curiosity gets the best of me.

"I'm just visiting Ryan," he tells me. "But, I hope to start working here soon."

I nod in understanding.

"It's a very nice building," I offer and stand silent, being done with the conversation.

"Beautiful flowers," he says, obviously wanting to continue on as he looks at the bright display of tulips and sunflowers in my arms. "Getting a jump on spring?"

"Yes," I say to him. I go no farther as I really don't know what to say.

"You like springtime," he asks me.

"Um, Fall is my favorite, but Spring is a close second," I tell him and he nods. Now I am really feeling pressured to say something and I'm not at all good with small talk, especially with guys who are so easy on the eyes. Thank God Christian kept trying with me.

Luckily, the elevator pings coming to my rescue and the men help me take my bags to the kitchen.

"Enjoy your visit with Ryan," I tell him as they walk away.

"I'm sure I will," he tells me. "It was nice to meet you, Miss. Steele."

"You too, Mr. Sawyer," I tell him.

"Sawyer is just fine," he tells me and I nod.

I'm still nodding like an idiot when I hear Gail clear her throat.

"How long were you standing there," I ask her.

"Oh long enough," she teases as she helps me unpack.

….

 **Christian's POV**

I frown when I see the large Harley parked in one of my spaces.

"Luke is here as you requested, Sir," Taylor catches my stare.

"He drives a fucking Hog," I ask him.

"On his off time, Sir," he tells me.

"Damn right on his off time," I tell Taylor.

I angrily punch in the elevator code.

I've been silently fuming all day.

First with this shit about Sawyer "working for Ana" and then to find out she'd met with Jess. Add that to her spotting that fuck-up Ryan following her and I am not in a nice damn mood.

The elevator opens to the most mouth watering smells of something cooking.

I leave Sawyer hanging as I go in search of Ana. I find her out on the patio. The twins are sitting on either side of her leaning in close to look at something on her Ipad. They have their notebooks in their laps and pencils in hand, obviously doing homework. My mood instantly lifts at the sight of them all.

"Hey guys," I greet them and they all turn to look at me with bright smiles on their faces, clearly happy to see me. I can't help but smile back at them, my bad mood all but forgotten.

"Daddy's home," Phoebe yells as she and Teddy get up to greet me.

My eyes catch Ana's and I smirk at the devilish glint in her eye at Daddy being home.

She shakes it off and comes over to greet me herself.

She is wearing a white long sleeved turtleneck swing dress and matching flip flops. The way that dress is moving with her while she walks is going to be the death of me.

"What smells so good," I ask her.

"Besides you, you mean," she whispers after I peck her lips.

"Ana made lasagna," Teddy tells me.

"And cupcakes," Phoebe adds.

"Sound great," I tell them. "Why don't you all go and ask Gail to set you up in the library, so I can talk to Ana before we eat."

"Okay," they say gathering their things and running off.

"How was your day," Ana asks me as we enter the bedroom.

"Long," I tell her as I take off my tie.

"Yours," I ask her.

"Oh, I'm sure you already know," she tells me.

"He was guarding you Ana," I explain to her. "I didn't feel right leaving you alone today."

"Why didn't you just tell me that," she asks.

"Would you have agreed," I ask her.

"That is beside the point," she huffs.

"The point is what the hell were you doing with Jess," I ask her as I pull at my collar to loosen it,in frustration.

"I ran into her at Townsend's," she tells me.

"And that warrants your little tete-a-tete," I ask her.

"I walked in on her and Brandon," she tells me. "And found out that they are seeing each other."

"You are kidding me," I tell her. "Well this is just fucking great, since when?"

"They hung out at a bar on New Year's," she tells me. "She is just worried that you will overreact and I assured her that you would be okay with it…"

"Are you serious," I ask getting pissed off. "What the fuck, Ana?"

"What," she says taken aback by my anger.

"Are you conspiring against me with them," I ask her.

"No way," she says to me, shocked that I would suggest it. "I just told them that you want what's best for her and the kids. I would never side with anyone that's against you."

I calm down.

"Good," I tell her, letting go of my anger.

"Ahem," she says, clearing her throat and I smirk at her.

"Baby," I start. "I apologize for accusing you."

She slumps her posture dramatically as she blows out a breath.

"Well that was big of you," she tell me and I grin.

"How about I make it up to you tonight," I tell her.

"Now you're talking," she says, wrapping her arms around me.

"Mmmm, Baby, you keep pressing those tits into me I'm going to just take you now," I warn her. "And you won't get to meet our guest."

"We're having guests," she says excited as she goes over to the mirror to brush her hair. "Why didn't you say? Are they staying for dinner, I made a lot. I always make too much. Is it your parents? Do I look okay?"

"No, Baby, it's not my parents," I tell her. "He won't be staying for dinner and you look phenomenal."

In fact she looks much too good and that damn dress is really showcasing her legs.

"Put on some pants, Baby," I tell her.

"What, why," she says looking down at her dress.

"Humor me," I tell her.

"Ookkayyy," she says as she goes to her closet and puts on a pair of white yoga pants.

"Perfect," I tell her. I lead her to my office.

My eyes are instantly drawn to the large bouquet of freshly cut yellow, orange, pink and purple tulips on my desk.

"Uh, Baby, did you mean to put flowers on my desk," I ask her.

 _How the hell am I suppose to bark orders at people with girly fucking tulips on my desk?_

"Mhm,"she says proudly. "You needed a little color in here. Do you like them?"

"Well..yes," I say when I see her face looking at me expectantly. "I love them. They…really bring out the room. Thank you, Baby."

I kiss her.

"What is this all about Christian," she tells me, sitting down.

"I've hired a CPO for you," I cut right to it.

"Why would you do that," she asks me. Her anger is rising.

"The last time we talked about it in your apartment, we agreed to put it on the back burner," I remind her. "But we can't ignore it anymore, Ana."

"If this is about Larry," she starts.

"It is about him," I tell her. "He is a major factor in it, but there are other things to consider."

"Like what,"she asks.

"You and I are official, for lack of a better phrase," I tell her. "There are events that I will be taking you to. My mother's fundraisers are coming up, business functions that I'm obligated to attend this time of year, and Jose's showing. All of those will include the media."

"So we are going to be **publically** official," she asks.

"Yes," I tell her. "And Baby, with that comes risk. I wish to God it wasn't the case…"

"No, I remember you telling me," she tells me. "Back then I just never really thought we'd be….here and it would extend to me."

"I'm sorry, Baby," I tell her guiltily.

"Don't be," she says. "I am so happy that we are here. Don't ever be sorry when the alternative would be living my life without you."

"Then you're agreeing to a CPO," I ask her.

And she sighs.

"Does it have to be now," she bargains. "Why can't we wait until we go public?"

"The meeting I had with Larry concerned me," I level with her.

"Why," she asks.

"Baby, why didn't you tell me he's been calling you," I ask her.

"He hasn't," she says.

"He stole your IPad," I tell her and she inhales sharply. "He got your personal information and started calling you."

"Christian, I never talked to him," she tells me. "I….Oh my God."

"What," I ask her.

"I was getting phone calls," she tells me. "Someone kept calling and hanging up."

"More than that one time you had your panic attack," I ask her.

"A few more times," she says looking at her folded up hands in her lap. "Yes."

"What," I say to her. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

"I thought it was just telemarketers," she tells me.

"And the fucking bracelet he gave you for Christmas," I ask her.

Her face contorts in thought. Suddenly her mouth falls open and she races out of the room. I'm right behind.

I find her in the closet digging in one of her large bags.

"Char found a bracelet in my car the day we went to Niemen's," she said. "I thought it was from one of the students. I had forgotten all about it with everything else going on.."

She stops when she finds it.

She comes over and hands me the box. I open it to find a delicate gold bracelet adorned with a little heart.

"It was from a secret admirer," she explains.

"THAT SON OF A BITCH," I yell, throwing the bracelet and it goes hurdling somewhere across the closet.

I turn away from Ana, not wanting her to see how furious I am. This bastard has been after her for months! He's been biding his time…waiting…and I was completely unawares.

"Christian," she speaks quietly. "I'm…"

"Come," I tell her, leading her back to my office.

I sit her down and pick up my phone to call Taylor.

"Taylor, both of you in my office now," I order him.

"We are on our way, Sir," he tells me.

"He's here," Ana says and I nod.

"Yes, he is your CPO effective immediately, end of discussion," I tell her making it clear I'm not in the mood for any argument and I'm no longer giving her a say in the matter.

….

 **Taylor's POV**

"Alright," I say to Luke as we walk to Grey's office. "Ana is with him now. Play it cool will you Sawyer?"

"Always, T," he tells me, smiling to show all of his teeth.

I shake my head already knowing this is going to turn to shit real quick.

I knock on the door and walk in. The boss eyes me before he quickly moves on to Sawyer.

He doesn't have a chance to register any emotions about him before Ana speaks up.

"Sawyer," she says his name with a surprised familiarity that puts the boss on alert.

"Nice to see you again, Miss. Steele," he answers her. "And it's nice to finally meet you in person Mr. Grey."

I can see the wheels spinning in Grey's head as he eyes Sawyer, not quite sure of what to make of him.

It suddenly clicks into place when Sawyer once again turns to a still surprised Ana and flashes her that fucking tooth filled smile.

The temperature in the room drops to freezing as Grey's whole demeanor changes. I was expecting the CEO death glare guy to make an appearance. But this is worse. He is a deadly calm before the storm motherfucker and I feel the need to run.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing and to all of you who encouraged me to continue on pinterest.**


	55. Angry Fuck

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fifty-Five**

 **Angry Fuck**

 **Taylor's POV**

The temperature in the room drops to freezing as Grey's whole demeanor changes. I was expecting the CEO death glare guy to make an appearance. But this is worse. He is a deadly calm before the storm motherfucker and I feel the need to run.

No way in hell I'm going to get out of it alive so I may as well stay and endure what's coming. Sawyer and I both move farther inside the office.

"How do you two know each other," Grey asks with serious calm.

"I arrived early, Sir," Sawyer tells him. "And helped Ryan and Miss. Steele with her groceries."

"So that's what you meant by hoping to work here," Ana asks him. "You're hoping to work for Christian as my CPO?"

"No, Ma'am, I am hoping to work for you as your CPO," Sawyer says.

"For me," she repeats and he gives her a nod.

"Taylor and Mr. Grey have expressed concerns for your safety and I agreed to try and help," he explains. "Not that you need much. I surmise you can give anyone a run for their money."

Ana laughs politely and thank fuck it's not one of her Christian Grey giggles he gets so visibly effected by. I'm sure furniture would have gone flying.

My eyes are on Grey as he studies this little exchange and he is not at all happy with the comfort level between these two. He sits with his palms flat, rapidly tapping his index finger on his desk.

"We haven't ironed out all the details yet," Grey speaks up, trying and failing not to show that he is pissed.

Ana has now picked up on it. She mistakes it as being aimed towards her and most likely her reluctance to have a CPO. She shifts uncomfortably under the icy glare he is giving them.

"But how are you going to work for me," Ana asks when that part sinks in. She is clearly on board with Sawyer as her personal CPO as a way to appease Grey's barely checked temper. "I'm sure you are very expensive and I don't make nearly enough money to retain a CPO."

Now the poor girl is fretting, trying to figure out her income and how to fit Sawyer into it when she didn't even want him in the first place.

I have to stab my hand with my fingernail to keep from laughing as Grey puts his hand to his forehead and rubs it with his fingers at the fact that she would actually think he would make her pay for her own CPO. No matter who the hell he reports to, Ana sure as hell won't be paying a penny to him.

This shit is backfiring on the boss left and right.

Now how is he going to play this? He can either use the fact that she can't pay as a way to get rid of Sawyer and look like the uncaring boyfriend, or he can save the day and announce he'll pay and then he'll be stuck with Sawyer who he now clearly does not approve of guarding his beloved.

I inwardly groan for Grey as now there is no way in hell he is going to get out of this without looking like a complete control freak jackass.

"I was aware of that when I agreed to the job, Ma'am," Sawyer tells her, effectively letting Grey off the hook.

Grey looks at me. Now my ass is up shit creek for missing this. How the hell was I to know he didn't want monetary compensation?

"So you would work for free and you wouldn't report to Chris… Mr. Grey," she asks as amusement plays on her slightly curled lips.

"I've agreed to report any all dangers to Mr. Grey," he corrects her. "That is if you will agree to take me on."

"Of course," she says happily.

"Absofuckinglutley not," Grey says coming alive and slapping his desk, letting his jealousy flare briefly before he gets it under control again. "Sawyer, I appreciate your time, but we won't be needing your services after all. Taylor will see you out."

"Understood, Sir," Sawyer simply says.

Ana wants to speak, but she knows enough not to question Grey right now and especially in front of me and Sawyer.

"It was nice meeting you both," Sawyer says and exits the office with me right behind him.

"Well that went well," he says to me at the elevators.

"Are you for real Luke," I ask him. "That could not have gone worse.

"He'll come around once he gets use to the idea," he tells me and I shake my head at him.

"You're delusional," I tell him. "Ryan is for damn sure going to be her CPO now."

"Are you really doubting an ex FBI Profiler," he asks me.

"That shit don't mean you can see into the damn future," I counter.

I never got that FBI psychology, trying to figuring out the bad guy's head, mumbo-jumbo. I'm military, we just figure out the best way to shoot the bastards.

"Steak dinner if I'm not her CPO by the end of the week," he says.

Now normally I'm not a betting man, but I will be damned if I turn down a free steak dinner.

"You're on," I tell him.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

Fucking hell, I swear, for fuck sakes.

"Ana," I start as she sits quiet. She finally agrees to a CPO and I dismiss him.

"Daddy," Phoebe calls from the door.

"What is it, Babydoll," I ask her.

"We're hungry," she says. "Ms. Gail says it's all done baking, can we eat it now?"

"Let's go wash up," Ana says, getting up and leaving with Phoebe, clearly not wanting to talk to me.

…

"Sawyer's gone, Sir," Taylor comes in to tell me.

"What the fuck was THAT, Taylor," I ask him. "I thought he was fucking FBI, not some punk biker with a cheesy ass grin. No way in hell is he CPOing for Ana. And what is with this pro-bono shit? What kind of a man risks his life for nothing?"

 _I know the kind of man. The man who wants OTHER rewards. No way in hell is he getting into Ana's panties for his act of duty._

Flashes of him playing hero for her enters my mind.

"Sir, I can assure you that Sawyer is one of the best at what he does and he takes the job he is given very seriously. I wouldn't use him otherwise," Taylor assures me. "He may seem a bit unorthodox. Normally he doesn't do CPO as it is too confining for him, but he would be extremely competent at it."

I am about to speak when I hear Phoebe calling me to the table.

I take off my jacket, throw it in my chair, and leave to have dinner with my family.

Shaking off my bad mood, I put on a smile for the twins. Ana seems to be doing the same thing as she genuinely acts like this is a nice little family dinner.

I note the beautiful sunflowers she's placed in the center of the table and I take heart at her thinking to decorate Escala. That has to be a very good sign of her thinking of this place as home.

"This looks great, Baby," I tell her as she serves us the lasagna. My mood is now on the upswing once again.

"Thank you," she says to me. "It has spinach in it. See how healthy I can eat?"

I look at her for any signs of sarcasm or anger but I find none as she smiles playfully at me.

"I'm sure your stomach will thank you," I tell her and she giggles.

 _There's my girl._

I reach for hand across the table and she gives it to me.

"Oh brother," Teddy says at our display and he groans when I ruffle his unruly hair.

 _He is in need of a haircut._

The lasagna is so delicious we have no problems clearing our plates.

The twins go to get the desert and I eye Ana when I see the plate of cupcakes they are carrying.

"Strawberry and lemonade," they tell me of the flavor.

"They are chock full of vitamin C," Ana offers, in keeping with her healthy theme, as she and the twins munch on the sweet cakes.

"Try one Daddy," is all the prompting I need from the twins before I take one and eat it.

Damn if they are not the sweetest thing I ever tasted…..Almost.

I smirk at Ana and she stops mid-chew to look at me. She makes a show of popping the last bite of her pink cupcake in her mouth.

The twins and I clear the table giving Ana some time to herself since she cooked an amazing dinner for us.

I find her stretched out across the couch in the bedroom reading the novel she's been plowing through the last few days.

She bookmarks it when she sees me coming and puts it on the coffee table.

"I finally want a CPO and you won't let me have one," she jumps right into it. "Or is it that you don't want me to have my own?"

"I need to be informed, Ana," I tell her. "It's the only way I can assure your safety."

"Really," she says standing up to challenge me in all her five foot seven inch glory. "What was Grace doing at two o'clock today and what did Mia have for lunch?"

"How am I suppose to know," I ask her, wondering where the hell she's going with this. "I don't keep track of…"

 _SHIT!_

"Well don't THEY have CPOs," she continues on. "Why aren't you getting detailed reports on them if it's necessary to assure safety?"

"That is completely different. They are not connected to me like you are," I tell her but it sounds weak even to my ears.

"Fine," she concedes, "What about the twins because now that I think about it, in all the weekends we spent together, I don't remember you getting any reports from Anderson concerning their every activity."

"You've made your point, Ana," I tell her.

"Why don't you trust me," she asks me hurt. "I'm not doing anything, Christian."

"I trust you completely," I tell her. "It's everyone else I have trouble with."

"Okay, but isn't that what Sawyer is suppose to be guarding against," she asks me. "If he's there why does he have to report it all to you all the time?"

I sigh.

"Do you remember at Christmastime when I told you that I think of you often and I sent over things to prove it," I ask her.

"Of course," her face beams.

"Well I still think about you a lot," I tell her. "And it makes me crazy not knowing if you're okay. And that thing with Larry didn't help. The fact that I was sitting in my fucking office looking at butterflies while you were being attacked..."

"I know," she tells me sadly. "But, I can't live in a fishbowl, Christian. I think Sawyer would be a good compromise for us. Remember compromise?"

"We'll let Ryan do it," I tell her.

"I like Sawyer," she tells me.

"What do you mean you **like** Sawyer," I accuse her.

"I think we'll make a better fit," she tells me, missing it. "Ryan is too stuffy."

"He's not there to hang out with you, **Ana** ," I tell her, forcefully.

"Yes, I know, **Christian** ," she tells me, mocking my tone. "I thought you wanted Sawyer to be my CPO. I thought it wasn't even up for discussion. Why the change all of a sudden?"

"I met him," I tell her. "He doesn't have the right...look."

"The right…," she starts and then it clicks. "Is that why you are so against Sawyer? News flash, Christian, not every guy wants in my undies and even if they did. Even if a million gorgeous guys all lined up waiting for me to choose, I already have the one I want."

"You think he's fucking gorgeous," I spit out at her, pissed.

"What," she says, exasperated. Her own anger showing. "No! Christian. Is that really all you took from that? I can't **believe** you are jealous of a employee. You are being **ridiculous**!"

Done with her rant, she walks away in a huff.

"Oh am I," I yell going after her. I corner her before she opens the door to storm out of the room.

"Yes," she spits out defiantly to me. Her skin flushed from the heat of her temper rising.

" **This** coming from the girl who nearly scratched Ros's eyes out when she first met her," I remind her of her own little green eyed monster. "And the one who wore that sexy as fuck outfit when she came to Grey House. What did Jose tell you **'bitches know,'** was it?"

Her mouth falls open in shock and I take the opportunity to stick my tongue in it.

Her rebuttal is quickly drowned out and covered by my mouth.

The anger we felt only seconds ago turns into lust as we paw at each other desperately taking off clothes.

I reach and lock the bedroom door behind her before I pull her towards the bed. Her mouth still safelocked to mine as I toe out of my shoes and take off my shirt.

She moans in protest when our lips part for the second it takes me to yank her pants off and peel her dress up off of her. Her flip flops and clothes go flying in opposite directions.

She moans again, this time in pleasure, as our lips and skin connect. I pick her up and toss her on the bed.

That lower lip is captured in her mouth as I watch her slide her nude colored panties down her legs, twirl them around her index finger, and toss them at me.

I catch them, hold them up to my nose, and inhale deeply before tossing them aside.

"Fuck, Baby," I growl at her little strip tease all the while fumbling with my pants, trying to get them off.

She cries out when I ram into her and I quickly cover her mouth with mine to keep her quiet.

I wrap my arms around her legs and I lift her knees up to her chest, spreading them wide open as I pound into her.

My movements are swift, hard, and frantic. She is matching me stroke for stroke as she can't get enough. Her monster is awake and starving to be satisfied.

She starts to cream and the wet sounds her pussy makes as my dick sloshes through it is driving me insane.

"Christian," she moans out in agony as her pussy starts to spasm.

"Let it go, Baby," I tell her.

Her eyes roll back in her head and her mouth falls open. Her breathing hitches with the force that her orgasm uses to overtake her.

"Shit, Ana," I call out to her as my own overtakes me and I pour myself inside of her.

"Wha…what was that," she pants out.

We are lying flat on our backs looking up at the ceiling.

"That was an angry fuck, Baby," I tell her.

"A what," she asks looking at me.

I heard tell of them from Elliot. When I was fifteen, he was dating this girl and all they did was fuck and fight and fight and fuck. One day we were home alone and she came over pissed about something he'd done to her. He hauled her upstairs and I could hear them fucking from three floors down. Later he told me how great angry fucks were and damn if he wasn't spot on about that.

"Wow," she says after I explain an angry fuck to her.

"Remind me to piss you off more often, Baby," I laugh as best I can still sucking wind.

Her eyes get big as saucers.

"You don't think the twins heard," she starts.

"No," I assure her. "I made sure we weren't that loud."

"What were we just thinking," she says as she gets up and heads to the bathroom. "What if they would have knocked?"

"First of all, we weren't thinking," I tell her as we step in the shower. "Not with our heads anyway."

She looks down at my dick head.

"Not with the right head," I amend and she raises an eyebrow.

"It felt right to me," she tells me and my dick jumps with pride.

"Okay, not with our brains," I finally say.

She nods and I smirk at her.

"Second of all, it's much too close to their bedtime, so they are making themselves as invisible as possible to stay awake longer," I tell her and she laughs.

...

"I'll go and read to the twins while you finish up," she tells me as I stand with a towel around my waist. She has slipped on blue cotton shorts and a t-shirt.

"Alright, Baby," I tell her.

She starts to walk away and I pull her back to me.

I take her face in my hands and kiss her slow and deep, taking my sweet time exploring her mouth until she moans in satisfaction. I feel her body melt, giving herself over to me, allowing me to take possession of her.

I pull back from her. Her mouth is still parted and her eyes are still closed as she relishes in the aftermath of our kiss.

"You. Are. Mine," I tell her. The tone of my voice causes her eyes to flutter open. She catches her breath as my passion for her is still evident in my hooded eyes.

"Keep kissing me like that and I'll be whatever you want," she whispers to me.

…..

 **Ana's POV**

I leave Christian to go check on the twins and help them get settled for bed.

They are excited for the upcoming Easter and Spring break so it proves a bit difficult to get them to calm down enough to get anywhere near sleepy, but eventually they talk themselves out and I tuck Phoebe in her bed.

Teddy says he can find his own way as he feels he is getting too old to be tucked in, so we say good night at the stairs.

Christian," I say shocked when I enter the room to see him laid across the bed buck naked. "How were you so sure it was me?"

His face breaks into a panty-dropping grin and I just melt at the sight of him and all of his sexy yumminess.

He pats the bed next to him and I slip off my shorts and t shirt to join him.

"I take this to mean we are no longer fighting since we are cuddling," I say to him as we get under the covers, apparently calling it a night.

"No we are not fighting," he tells me as he plays with my hair. "If you feel comfortable with Sawyer than you can have him as your CPO."

"It's okay," I tell him. "I like Ryan…"

"Ana," he starts.

"Are we starting again," I tell him.

"No," he says. "But I want to prove to you that I do trust you and that I want you to have a CPO you feel comfortable with. But I have a condition."

"What is it," I ask him.

"He's not allowed to take up residence on your couch, Ana," he tells me. "He is to stay his Harley riding ass outside, no exceptions."

"Well, I was thinking about that," I tell him as I turn on my side to face him. He moves to face me. "I was talking it over with Townsend today and she advised me to stop holding on to things that I really don't want and embrace what I do want."

"What do you want," he asks me.

"If you still want me," I tell him. "I would like to move in here."

"Baby, do you mean that," he asks me, unable to hide how happy he is.

"Yes," I tell him. "But only if the twins are okay with it."

"Baby, they will be so okay with it," he assures me as he pulls me into a kiss.

* * *

 **A/N: That wasn't meant to be a cliff hanger. The kids will be okay with it. Next up is Easter!**

 **Thank all you for reading and reviewing as well as all of the moral support it is very much appreciated.**


	56. Couple's Night

**Oops sorry this isn't the Easter chapter, but Enjoy.**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fifty –Six**

 **Couple's Night**

 **Christian's POV**

I wake up to a sleeping Ana in my arms with her back to me and realize that we are still very much naked. I take advantage of the situation by sliding my dick inside of her as I take her from behind.

"Mmmmmm," she moans out.

"Mmm, you feel so good like this, Baby," I growl at her.

She must agree because she cums a second later and I follow suit right behind her. I gently bite down on her exposed neck as I cum hard inside of her.

I clean us up, slip on some pajama pants, and dress her in a gown. She grumbles at me disturbing her as I slip it over her. She moves so that I can pull it down over her hips.

I go and check on the twins, straighten them out, and replace their covers.

I leave word on Taylor's desk that I am on board with hiring Sawyer as Ana's CPO before heading back to my girl to find her sleeping in the same position I left her in. I pull her close, snuggling up behind her. She tucks her ass into my pelvis and hits my erection. My mind immediately goes back to the first time she did that back at the Snoqualmie lodge and I smile as I bury my nose in her hair and drift off to sleep.

…

 _Two weeks later_

 **Saturday, March 19, 2016**

 **Couple's Night**

 **Christian's POV**

"Baby will you relax," I tell Ana as she lifts the cover off of every food dish to check to see if it's okay. "It's just our friends coming over. You'd swear it was better homes and gardens."

Gail laughs at my reference, half because it was funny and half because she didn't know I had a clue about the magazine. She offered to stay and help Ana prepare for our couple's night. Ana accepted with the condition that she take Monday off.

She whizzes past me and I look to find her now in the great room checking god knows what.

She's all but officially moved in. There will be no turning back since she already gave notice that she will be moving out the first of April.

I had a talk with the twins. Apparently, they already thought she had. I guess the closet full of her clothes kind of tipped them off. I explained to them that those types of big decisions would be discussed with them first before they happened, but it was a moot point as they were already happy about it.

They are off now spending the weekend with Jess.

She and I had a brief conversation about her seeing Brandon. After giving it some consideration, frankly I realized it wasn't any of my business who she was seeing. As long as he is a good influence on the twins, I don't have a problem with him. Ana on the other hand was a different story and she let me know it.

 _"_ _The more I think about it, the more I don't like it," she told me as we showered for work the day after she found out about them. "Out of all the guys in Seattle and New York, why date my friend?"_

 _"_ _Shit like that happens, Baby," I told her._

 _"_ _You are not at all upset about this," she said turning to me shocked. "I thought you didn't like Brandon?"_

 _"_ _I like him just fine now that he is no longer after you," I told her. "Baby, I am riding a damn high right now. You are moving in with us. I don't give a flying fuck about Brandon and Jess."_

 _She giggled._

 _"_ _I thought you all came to an understanding," I asked her._

 _"_ _We did," she sighed. "I'm just being…selfish."_

 _"_ _It's understandable under the circumstances," I told her. "But try not to let it affect you friendship with Brandon. Not that I want you to have a friendship with Brandon. You know this might be a good excuse for you to cut him loose…"_

 _"_ _Thank you, Christian," she told me. "But, I'll take your earlier advice."_

 _"_ _I have something else you can take," I told her. She laughed as she wrapped her arms around me._

 _"_ _Mmmm," I moaned at the feel of her wet hard nipples pressed into my chest. "I'm going to make us late this morning, Baby."_

"Excuse me Mr. Grey, Miss. Steele," Sawyer says coming into the great room pulling me out of my memory. "Your guest are on their way up now."

….

 **Ana' POV**

"Thanks, Sawyer," I tell him and he heads back by the elevator.

Over the last two weeks Sawyer as proven himself to be exactly what I wanted in a CPO. He gives Christian just enough information to keep him satisfied and my day to day activities remain my business until I choose to share them with Christian myself.

Not that there is much to tell. It's usually work and home. Sometimes I may visit Char or Derrick and Jose and on those days I'm feeling real rebelious, I walk over to the Tea Leaf and get me a togo cup of my favorite English tea.

Christian wanted to know how I was adjusting to having him around. I had to admit that I don't mind having a CPO around most of the time as much as I thought I would. Most of the day, I don't see him anyway as he doesn't join me in the classroom when I'm teaching.

I left out the part about him turning woman's heads everywhere we go. Like, Christian he seems to be oblivious to the attention, but unlike Christian he can't help but show that damn grin of his about it when he thinks I'm not looking.

He is still leery of Sawyer. He watches him like a hawk just looking for the slightest infraction or 'fuck up' he calls them.

 _"_ _I still don't like a man working for nothing," he told me. "What the fuck is in it for him, Ana?"_

I don't give Christian Sawyer's reasons, although I do know what they are, it's just not my story to tell. Luke told it to me the first day he started.

I was surprised to see him coming out of Christian's office until he told me that Christian had agreed to the terms. He also confided that he was just put firmly in his place where I was concerned. Christian even threatened to ruin him if he looked at me a second too long.

 _"_ _He's not going to ease up on you," I told him feeling bad._

 _"_ _I'm well aware," he said to me._

 _"_ _Why are you doing this if I can't even pay you," I asked him. "It would be much better for you if you worked for Christian."_

 _I walked out on the patio and he joined me._

 _" I don't want to work for Mr. Grey or anyone for that matter. I actually_ _turned down the job until Taylor showed me a picture of you," he told me._

 _"Did I look that pathetic in the picture," I asked him._

 _"Your picture reminded me of my little sister: kind, only wanting to see the good in people. She would be about your age right now," he explained. "She was taken from us while on her way to school. She was eight years old. I was sixteen. It took a toll on my family, my mom especially. She blames herself for letting her walk the two blocks by herself that day. As soon as I was able, I joined the FBI's kidnapping and missing persons. I wanted to prevent people from going through what we went through, or at least to have the closure we were given."_

 _"_ _They found her then," I asked him._

 _"_ _They did a few days later," he told me and I was hopeful. "We buried her shortly after."_

 _I sucked in a sharp breath._

 _"_ _It was a long time ago, Ana," he told me before I startd with the I'm sorries._

 _"_ _Why did you quit the FBI," I asked him instead._

 _"_ _It wasn't enough for me, too much politics and red tape so I struck out on my own, helping people who need it."_

 _"_ _Like a Spencer for Hire," I told him and he looked at me in amused shock._

 _"_ _ **How** old are you," he asked me and I laughed. "God, my dad use to watch that show."_

 _"_ _Mine too," I told him. "Okay, I see why money isn't your motivation, but you're going to need money to live."_

 _"_ _I have more than enough to be okay," he told me. "And Mr. Grey insisted I take one of his credit cards to use for you, so you'll be okay too."_

 _"_ _You are such a CPO," I told him and he groaned in distain of the term._

 _"_ _Miss. Steele," Taylor came out on the patio with Christian. "Sawyer, are you ready?"_

 _Taylor looked put out and Christian was smirking in amusement._

 _"_ _What's going on," I asked Taylor._

 _"_ _We're just going out to dinner, Miss. Steele," he told me. "Sawyer is in the mood for steak tonight, so I'm forced to treat him."_

 _"_ _He lost a bet," Christian told me the real reason._

 _I bit my lip to keep from laughing at the look on Taylor's face._

 _"_ _Well, have…fun," I told them. They nod and start to leave._

 _"Oh and uh, I prefer Kojack," Sawyer told me. I was going to say the line "Who loves ya, Baby." But I knew that wouldn't go over well with Christian as he surely wouldn't get it._

Now, the elevator pings and our house guest file in.

"Look, Char, there he is," I hear Derrick say about Sawyer as he stands in the foyer.

"Oh. **my**.God," she says. "Hiiii."

"Ma'am," Sawyer says to her and I can practically hear her and Derrick swoon.

"Come on guys, Ana's waiting," I hear Jose say to them, pissed, as he pulls them both into the great room.

Derrick nearly had an orgasm when he first saw Sawyer.

I went to their apartment to let them know I had agreed to move in with Christian. Jose was crushed about me not living across the hall until I told him that of course it meant he could pop up at Escala to visit me now that I lived there and he quickly got over me leaving.

He's attention was taken by Derrick who was obviously smitten with Sawyer and made no bones about showing it. He was practically panting and Jose was not having any of it.

" _Oh hot damn, Ana how can you stand it," Derrick said as he looked out Jose's apartment window to get a look at Sawyer as he walked around outside by his SUV. "He is just too damn fine."_

 _"_ _He is NOT all of that, Ricky," Jose told him from his spot next to me on his couch._

 _"You haven't even seen him," Derrick told him._

 _"_ _He does carry a gun," I told them and Derrick starts to fan himself._

 _"_ _Bitch," Jose whispered to me. "Ricky, I don't appreciate your checking out other men like that. That is fowl."_

 _"Well,_ _I have three letters for you Booboo," Derrick said when Jose tried to check him. "G.E.A."_

 _"Mhm," I said, channeling my inner Jose._

And that was the end of that.

Now Jose has to endure Derrick's new moniker for his crush: The Hot Knight.

"Thank you, Sawyer," I say now as he leaves us.

We all scream giddily at each other as the couples make their way inside, save for Mia who was invited to go to Paris for a few weeks with her boyfriend and his family. She'll return just before Easter. She felt bad about missing our couple's night, but she couldn't give up seeing Paris in springtime.

Christian and Elliot are not happy at all about her going overseas with some guy they have yet to meet, but there really isn't much they can do about it.

David introduces me to Kelly. She is a beautiful strawberry blonde. He couldn't be more proud of her and the fact that they are back on track. I take to her right away as she is very friendly.

We make small talk until I hear Elliot's voice coming from the kitchen.

"Damn it smells good in here," He says and that is his not so subtle way of saying he's ready to eat.

We lead everyone in the dining room where Gail is there ready to serve us.

"Oh my Gawd," Jose whispers as he sits to my left. "What in the world took you so long to move in here? You have a housekeeper gurl, okay. You are the Misses."

"Behave," I whisper to him.

"Hmmm, you asking for too much girl," he tells me.

Christian is at the opposite end of the table. I eye him and he winks at me.

Mrs. Jones has made a spread of roasted beef, baked chicken, fresh green garden salad, in season vegetables, and mashed potatoes. Everyone is ranting about how wonderful it tastes.

Before long Elliot and Gwen are scraping their plates and loading up seconds. I think we've finally found someone who can match Elliot's appetite.

"Where is my little Godson tonight," Christian asks her.

"He's visiting my parents for a few hours," Ros answers him.

"Christian is bent on stealing him away for a weekend," I tell her.

"We'll be happy to give him to you," she says. "I've been trying to pawn him off for weeks."

Gwen shakes her head negatively at me as Ros is the one that doesn't want to let him go.

"Good," Christian tells her. "Then you can take your speech class back."

"But you are doing such a wonderful job of it," she tells him.

"Isn't that where you two meet," Kelly says to us and we both nod.

"Ana was not happy about it," Char chimes in. "She was very vocal about her dislike of Professor Grey."

"MMhmm," is all Jose has to offer. "But he made up for it though. The Man..."

"So Gus," I say, changing the topic. "How have **you** been?"

"Topic Change," Kate sings at how obvious I was and we laugh.

We finish up dinner only to indulge in the wine and deserts that our guest brought over.

…..

We move on to the great room.

Jose pulls me aside and I take him to see the one thing he has been dying to see since I told him about it.

"So this is where the magic happens," he says as he gets a look at the bedroom. "That bed was made for bumping uglies, gurl."

"No comment from the peanut gallery," I say to him.

"You mean penis gallery," he counters. "Where are you all hiding your dildos?"

"I have a real one now," I tell him.

"You, go gurl," he tells me. "I am scared of you."

"Will you stop it," I say to him.

"Now this is so GEA," he says as he sneaks a peak in Christian's closet when we pass by it. "It's simple and manly. Oh, but I don't like that blue chair thingamajig. You should get Ray to make him something more fitting to sit on."

"Okay, now that is a great idea," I tell him.

"I have one or two a year at least," he tells me breaking into a grin.

"Well here it is," I say to him about The Closet as we enter it. "Jose?"

"Please," he says holding up his hand to silence me. "I must be one with the clothes as they speak to me."

I shake my head.

He goes strolling through like a dancer walking to her mark on the stage.

"Anastasia," he says to me calmly. "When I die, this is where I request to be laid to rest."

"Jose," I squeal.

"Gurl, are you kidding me," he screams. "Honey, this is no longer The Closet. This is Divadom."

"Divadom," I ask him.

"Yes," he says. Looking around, he starts to name as he points. "Fendi, Hermes, Ralph Lauren, Burberry, Armani, Louis Vuitton, Oscar De Le Renta, Prada, Versace, Christian Dior, all of the divas are up in here, okay."

I laugh.

"OH MY GAWD, Coco Chanel!"

…..

 **Christian's POV**

By the end of the night everyone who isn't driving is drunk off their ass on Elliot's Hurricane martinis. Ana passes on them since she found out she hated the drink the first time she tasted it.

We look on with mouths agape as Derrick, feeling a little too good from the drinks, starts strip teasing right in the middle of the damn great room. Char, Ros, Kelly, and Gwen are cat calling as they encourage him. He has his shirt off and is twirling it over his head before Jose can get a handle on him.

"Whoaaa," we all yell, rushing over to him as he has just face planted the carpet.

We put him and Jose up in the guest room down the hall as we call it a night.

…..

 **Ana's POV**

"Did you have fun at your couple's night, Baby," Christian's ask as we cuddle in bed.

"I had a wonderful time," I tell him. My phone alerts and I reach over to check it.

"Wow," I say when I see who it is.

"What wow," Christian says.

"Mia is looking hot," I tell him as I lift my phone for him to see.

"For fuck sakes," he yells angrily.

"What," I ask him. "She looks terrific."

"Half her ass is out, Ana," he says to me.

"She's in Paris," I counter. "They…do that…there."

"Remind me to confiscate her passport," he tells me.

* * *

 **A/N: Whoo hoo no clifhanger!**

 **The only questions I see are about why Sawyer is doing what he's doing. I hope some of that was made clearer.**

 **For those of you reading what I'm writing on FaceBook and Pinterest, keep in mind those are unedited excerpts lol.**

 **The Easter chapter will be posted on Monday.**

 **Thanks again for reading and reviewing.**

 **Happy Easter and don't eat too many boiled eggs.**


	57. The Hunt For Easter

**Just a very fluffy chapter, but enjoy!**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fifty-Seven**

 **The Hunt For Easter.**

 **Saturday, March 26, 2016**

 **Christian's POV**

Escala is busy with family activity today.

The twins are happy that Sophie has come from Vancouver for a visit during spring break and she will get to spend Easter here. The three of them are playing x-box much too loudly upstairs.

Ana and Gail are off shopping and I just know this place is about to be filled with every flower known to Spring and I can't wait to see it.

The Parents are on their way over. Mom is hosting her annual Easter egg hunt tomorrow and has miscounted the child to egg ratio by about two hundred eggs.

It's us to the rescue as we've all agreed to dye them up for her today. She asked if we could do it here since her house is filled with the chaos of getting everything decorated for tomorrow, so Kate and Mia are busy in the kitchen boiling eggs.

Elliot couldn't miss the chance to joke about their cooking skills and them not even being able to boil eggs before I pull him away for his own good. They were just about to throw egg on his face.

"So how's this thing working out with Ana being here full time now," he asks me as we play pool in the first floor playroom.

"Perfect," I tell him as I grab two beers. "I couldn't be happier."

"It shows," he tells me. "Well thank fuck she fits in with us."

"Aw come on El," I tell him.

"I'm serious, man," he tells me. "It's nice to come over here and chill without it turning into a big ass cat fight with Kate and Jess."

"But why do you think that is," I ask him, curious. I knew the family would like her, no doubt, but they have accepted her so easy. "Maybe it's because she knew Kate in college."

"Nope," he says swigging his beer, "because Mia's gung ho for her too. It's because she gets our sense of humor. She's insane like the rest of us."

I laugh.

"Dad said you were fawning all over her the night that son of a bitch attacked her," Elliot tells me. "She's doing okay, right?"

I nod.

"Better than me," I tell him. "I'm still not convinced I wouldn't run him over if he crossed in front of my car."

"I wouldn't blame you," he tells me. "Hell, I'd even help you hide the body."

I can only imagine what he'd come up with on how to hide a dead body.

"What's up with Mia and this guy," I ask him.

"Hell if I know," he shrugs. "She's never kept one away this long. I told Kate to whisper in her ear while they are all getting prettied up for Easter. Chicks always talk at those places."

"Or we'll just pay him a friendly little visit ourselves," I tell him.

He laughs nearly choking on his beer.

"I heard about Ana's dads making you shit bricks the night they popped up," Elliot says through gasps of air. "And exactly what you were doing when they showed up."

"Who told you," I ask him.

"Jose," he told me.

"Jesus Christ," I say. "Is nothing sacred around here?"

"Nope," he says cursing as he sinks the eight ball.

….

 **Ana's POV**

"No way are you staying home, Gail," I say to her as we look through the florist's collection of fresh flowers. "You are coming with us to the beauty salon."

"I don't know, Ana," she says still unconvinced.

"Sophie is going and she would love for you to be there sharing the experience with her," I tell her. "Plus Christian's already arranged it. Isn't that right, Taylor?"

"It is true, Sweetie," he tells her.

Sawyer and I eye each other. It's rare to hear Taylor talk like this.

"Okay," Gail finally agrees. "It does sound like fun."

"Yes," I tell her. "We are going to have a great time."

"I suppose I have to be there too," Sawyer says to me.

"Yup," I tell him. "That issss what you are refusing to be paid for."

"Ohhhh, she jokes now," he tells me. Gail and I laugh.

His face turns serious and we all whip our heads around to see what has put him on alert.

I see a smiling Sandy looking our way and getting ready to walk towards me.

"Sandy," I say when she approaches.

"Hey Ana," she says embracing me. "Hi Sawyer and everyone."

"Ma'am," Taylor, Gail, and Sawyer say in unison.

Sandy looks at me in question and I just shake my head.

"Shopping for Easter," she tells me as she eyes all the flowers.

"Absolutely," I tell her. "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?"

"Not much," she says. "Probably just go to my parents for dinner."

"Why don't you come to an Easter egg hunt thing in Bellevue," I ask her. "Christian is dying to hang out with you again after you laid that right hook of yours on you know who."

She laughs.

"Okay sounds like fun," she says. "Can I bring Nate and his niece?"

"Great. Yeah sure you can," I tell her. "I'll text you the information."

"Alright, see you tomorrow," she tells me.

This is shaping up to be a pretty good Easter.

….

We make it back to Escala before Grace and Carrick arrive.

Gail and I start arranging our flowers in different sized vases that we sit all around the apartment. I use a less "girly" arrangement of dark and light blue hydrangeas for Christian's office.

I recruit Sophie and the twins to help me decorate the patio.

"Baby, the place looks great," Christian says as he comes out on the patio where we are placing a Peek-a-boo bird house against the far glass window.

"Thank you," I gush at him.

"A Bird house, huh," he says eyeing it suspiciously.

"We might see baby birds," Phoebe says excited.

"That's right," I tell her.

"Twenty stories up," Christian says, not believing it.

"Anything is possible at springtime," I lean in about to give him a kiss and stop short when I see three little pairs of eyes on us.

Christian chuckles.

"You guys go change into your play clothes," he tells them. "We are going to start dying eggs."

"YES," they all say and rush to change.

"Now for that kiss," he tells me once we are alone and I plant one on his lips.

"Save it for the bedroom," Elliot says as he comes out on the patio. "Time to dye some eggs."

"Why do they always send you to find us," Christian complains.

"Because I'll bug until you stop what you're doing," he says. "Come on Ana. Put some of your decorating skills on some of these old farts Kate and Mia boiled up."

"I've never heard eggs being described quite that way before Elliot," I tell him.

"You never had to sleep in the same room with him after he's eaten a few," Kate says, stepping out on the patio with us.

"And she's not exaggerating," Christian tells me.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

The table in the dining room has been extended and covered with a protective cloth. More boiled eggs than I ever want to see in my life are placed on the table with everything we need to dye them. The kids and Mia are already seated and waiting.

Taylor escorts mom and dad in. They give hugs all around before we all fill the remaining seats around the table.

"Thank you all so much for helping," mom tells us as she dips her eggs in the different shades of dye. "I can't believe I made such a mistake."

She is truly embarrassed about the egg debacle.

"She does the same thing every event," Dad tells us, snitching on mom. "It's always something she forgets. I don't understand it."

"It takes a lot to put events together," Mia comes to her defense.

"But it happens every, event every single year," Dad continues on, clearly perplexed. "I mean it happens Every. Single. Year."

"And so does your hemorrhoidal flare-ups, but you don't hear me throwing **you** under the bus," my mom tells him as she is now put out with his harping.

I watch Ana's face turn bright red as she tries not to laugh at the revelation and my mom's flash of temper. Mia doesn't have the same restraint as she is now cracking up.

"For crying out loud, Mom," Elliot groans as he sits next to her with a mouth full of boiled egg. "I'm trying to eat over here."

"Mia, I'm staying with you," Kate says eyeing Elliot from where she sits across the table from him. "Otherwise I'm going to suffocate from the methane and sulfur your brother is going to be letting rip from his behind tonight.

"No way, babe," Elliot says grabbing another egg, peeling it open, and dashing it with salt and pepper. "For better or worse, remember?"

"I didn't vow to endure your flatulence," she tells him.

Teddy and Phoebe sit immune to the banter at the table as they are use to it, but poor Sophie is wide eyed as she takes us all in. I shake my head hoping she doesn't report any of this back to her mother.

It took a better part of two hours but we are done dying all of the eggs and they have been carted off to Bellevue to be refrigerated.

Mom and Dad treats us all to dinner. No one wants to go out, so we just end up ordering pizza much to the kids delight.

….

At the end of the day, Ana and I are exhausted. Its way past the kids bedtime, but we leave them to their slumber party in the media room and head off to bed ourselves.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you I ran into Sandy today," Ana says to me as we get into bed. "She's coming to the egg hunt tomorrow."

"Great, I can't wait to see her," I tell her. Anyone that smacks a bastard for messing with her friend is okay in my book.

"I can't wait to see you decked out in that white suit," she tells me.

I pretend to be asleep when she mentions the suit until she smacks me on my arm. I grab hold and tickle her.

…..

 **Easter Sunday March 27, 2016**

 **Christian's POV**

"Hey bro," Elliot says as he comes into the great room. "You and Teddy Bear ready to head out?"

Not to be out done by the girls, the three of us are on our way to get haircuts.

"I only want a trim, Dad," Teddy tells me as we head to the elevator. "Michelle likes my hair long."

I stop mid-stride at his words. My legs simply will no longer move me forward.

"Sure thing, little man," Elliot says, not missing a beat as he pushes me along. "I like your hair long too."

I look down at my Teddy Bear and I just want to wrap him up in his little blue blanket and cradle him in the crook of my arm again.

….

 **Ana's POV**

I sit between Kate and Phoebe with my hands and feet soaking in some type of warm great smelling water.

Gail and Grace are with the girls as they all are getting their hair styled.

"So what's up with you and this guy, Mia," I hear Kate asks. I close my eyes and try to zone them out as I relax in my message chair.

"Nothing," she says. I can hear the shrug in her voice. "Just casual."

"Casual takes you to Paris with his family," Kate asks her.

"Casual with benefits," she says.

"Mia, your brothers would have a coronary if they heard you say that," Kate tells her. "Not to mention poor Carrick."

"I'm the same age as Ana you know," she tells her. "Why does everyone forget I'm grown and not twelve anymore?"

"Because you are the baby," Kate tells her. "When are you going to settle your grown ass down anyway?"

"No time soon," she says. "Why bother when all men do is cheat?"

That got my full attention and I open my eyes.

"Not all men, Mia," Kate tells her.

"Most men," she amends. "I don't get why they cheat. Why can't they just break up with the person?"

"Because they are disgusting selfish idiots who think way too much of themselves," Kate tells her.

"You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince, Mia," I tell her.

"See, Ana gets it," she says.

"What," I say. "Wait, no, I didn't mean to…. I mean JUST…kiss."

"Someday my Prince will come," she agrees. "But in the meantime just kissing is nice."

"Elliot had a dream about cheating on me once," Kate tells us.

"What happened," I ask her.

"He was banging her full in balls deep," she explains.

We gasp like it actually happened.

"Then the bitch turned into a vampire and bit his deceitful ass," she says. "She made a meal of him. He woke up screaming, checking his neck. That pretty much took care of any thoughts of cheating."

We have a laugh at poor Elliot's expense.

I'm done soaking, so I go over to choose nail polish.

"Ana, the lady said she can make my nails look like Easter eggs," Phoebe says coming over to me excited. "Can I get it?"

"That sounds great," I tell her, matching her excitement.

"Me too," Sophie asks Gail and she agrees.

"Why don't we all get something to celebrate Easter," Mia says and we agree to all get it done.

She goes with a beautiful mint green and yellow French manicure design while Kate does one in a pretty peach.

Gail gets pastel colors of pink, blue, and yellow with spring flowers on a few of the nails. Sophie gets a pink like her dress with cute little white daisies on the base of each nail.

I sit next to Phoebe as she gets her eggs painted on. Each one is a rainbow of polka dots and squiggly line designs that look just like decorated eggs.

I choose a design of coral pink and glittery gold for both my fingers and toes. I think it will go great with my sandals which are the same color.

Phoebe whispers to me that she's glad she's not a boy as Teddy can't get his nails painted like this. The mental image of his frowning face if he was here doing this right now makes me laugh. I tell Phoebe and she also finds it funny.

"Oh they are just so precious together," I hear Grace say to Mia and I glance over to see them studying Phoebe and I. They quickly pretend to not be watching us as they catch me looking.

Grace even joins in the fun and has her nails painted a pretty purple with an Easter egg design on her ring fingers.

….

"I'm loving Phoebe's nails, baby," I hear Christian coming into the closet where I'm getting ready to go to the Grey's.

"That's good. I wasn't sure you'd like them painted, but she was just so excited about having Easter eggs on her hands I just didn't have the heart to say no," I tell him.

"No, its fine, baby, I trust your judgment when the kids are with you," he tells me, giving me a quick kiss and making me smile at him.

How's Teddy," I ask him.

"He'll wear the suit if he can wear his sneaker and take most of it off as soon as the pictures are taken," he tells me with a shake of his head.

"Sounds like a good deal to me," I say to him.

He watches me as I buckle my sandals to my ankle and I am happy to see that I was right about the toes matching.

I suddenly laugh at myself. When did I start caring about if my toes match my shoes? If Jose could see this now, he'd be so pleased with me.

I hear Christian growl from behind me when I take off my robe to stand in my underwear. I quickly slip on my dress before he gets any ideas and makes us late.

"Damn, baby, you are fucking hot," he says coming up behind me. He sweeps a lock of my curled hair to one side and kisses my bare shoulder as my coral knee length dress is strapless."Mmmm you smell good."

The feel of his lips on my shoulder is shooting straight down to my private area. I try to move away from him but he holds me close.

"First the toes, then those damn panties, and now this dress," he tells me. "You look amazing in this dress. I think I am getting more out of this closet then you are. You're like a pretty sexy new gift I get to unwrap every day."

"I know the feeling," I tell him as I turn in his arms. I fix his shadow blue tie and smooth down his suit jacket. "Not every man can pull off this white suit you are wearing. You make it look easy."

"I wouldn't be caught dead with it on any other day," he confesses.

"Darn," I tell him. "But it really turns me on."

"Really," he says and I nod. "I'll try to remember that, baby."

Sounds are coming from the great room letting us know that everyone is there and ready to go.

...

We meet Anderson, the twins, and Sophie by the elevator.

True to form, Teddy is in his gray suit with sneakers. His brownish red hair is long but neatly trimmed. Phoebe is like a rainbow in her chiffon dress of bright pastel colors: yellow, pink, and green. While Sophie is in her fancy dress trimmed in vibrant pink with light pink flowers. She wanted to ride over with the twins, so she is with us as Gail and the security team have gone ahead.

All security, including Sawyer, is required to be there since it is such a large event and we are all most likely to go off in opposite directions.

During the drive, the girls are all about their dress, hair, and nails as they tell Christian and Teddy all about their morning at the salon and by the time we make it to Bellevue, poor Teddy is about ready to pull his hair out.

We thought we were early, but the place is already full of people. We find Grace inside and she greets us with a kiss looking amazing in her purple dress.

Everyone is quickly called into the sitting room to take pictures as all of The Greys are now present. Christian, the twins and I take ours together and I try to ease out of the family photo as I didn't want to intrude, but Grace subtly pulls me back in next to her.

Getting the official Easter business over and done with, we all go outside for some fun.

"Shit it looks like the Easter bunny had diarrhea out here," Christian tells me.

There are brightly colored eggs as far as the eye could see. Sophie, Phoebe, and a Teddy that is now without his jacket and tie, run off.

Elliot is right behind them as he is going to hit up all of the pastry and food stations Grace has set up along the grounds.

We make our way through the crowd stopping to talk to people that Christian knows.

David and Kelly wave to us as best they can while being dragged away by their kids.

We run into Ros with the cutest little baby I've ever seen and I know he must be Tyler.

"How cute are you," I say as he reaches for me and I quickly take him from her.

"Where's Gwen," Christian asks her. He is talking to Ros but he is making faces at a amused Tyler.

"Last I saw she was at the hot dog stand with your brother," she tells him.

Phoebe runs up with a huge brown bunny rabbit in her arms to say hello to Ros and Tyler. She begs Christian to let her keep it. He orders her to take it right back to the petting Zoo before it gets loose. She walks away disappointed, but does what she's told.

I spot Char, Derrick, and Jose sitting at a patio table and I take Ros over to them leaving Christian to play with cute little baby Tyler.

"Gurl, look at cutie pie you," Jose says as I sit down next to him.

We are soon joined by Kate and Mia.

"I think my blood sugar is rising just by looking at all the candy," Kate says.

"Well, it's going right to my butt," Mia says. "And that is a good thing."

"Amen, Sista," Jose says high fiving her.

An hour in we see Sandy and her date coming over to us with a pretty little girl about five years old.

"Christian told us you were over this way," she tells me as I get up to hug her. "He is knee deep in kids right now."

"That sounds like Christian," I say to her.

I introduce her to everyone and she introduces us to Nate and his niece Nia.

Of course Mia thinks it's cute that their names rhyme and they quickly become friends. She takes her over to get her basket so she can be in the egg hunt that's about to start.

Nate is a tall gorgeous guy that is just so what Sandy would go for, and I have to close everyone's mouths as they blatantly check him out. Even Ros is finding him pleasing to the eyes.

I smirk at Sandy as she clings to him like bad cologne. She smiles wide when I know she has read my mind about her needing to retract her claws.

We make room for them at the table, she sits down next to me, but Nate takes off in search of nachos when he sees one of the kids walking by with some.

…..

Mia makes it back with Nia just in time for the announcement that the Easter egg hunt is about to get underway and we head over.

I spot the twins and Sophie. They are each partnered with a toddler to help them out finding eggs.

David and Kelly are each holding the hand of a two and four year old girl and boy that are spitting images of them.

Christian has little baby Tyler ready to carry him along so that he may get some eggs as well. Seeing him with that little baby makes my heart swell for him even more and I didn't think that was even still possible at this point.

The bell sounds and everyone takes off running.

"Oh my Gawd it's like the Hunger Games," Jose says as we watch the kids and their free for all for the eggs.

"What happens if they don't collect them all," Sandy asks.

"They never do," Kate says. "We'll be stepping in chocolate and melted jelly beans for the next few days."

"Ew," Char says.

"Look they even have big kids on the other side," Derrick says pointing in the opposite direction away from the toddlers.

Mia explained that the older kids are in search of the golden eggs as those are the ones that are worth money. Each has a number written on it anywhere from five to a hundred dollars and at the end they cash them all in. I would have loved to be a part of something like this when I was a kid. Just the thought of finding a golden money egg would have been exciting.

I see a lone little girl no more than three struggling to carry her basket along as she tries to get eggs, so I go out and help her. At the end of the lawn we sit on the grass and she shares her haul with me. We munch on jellybeans while we talk about the Easter bunny until her big sister comes to over to get her.

As the event comes to an official close, the Grey family gathers in Grace's private garden for Easter Dinner.

Phoebe already told me all about it.

She said it's like a giant tea party. I must say her description is spot on as the beautiful table settings and the elegant garden surrounding us gives off a fairytale feel. She makes a point to sit next to me as Sophie is sitting next to Gail. I spot Taylor still on guard glancing at his girls proudly.

"Didn't Taylor want to join Gail and Sophie," I whisper to Christian.

"He'd rather be dodging bullets in combat than to have to sit at this type of affair, Baby," Christian tells me and knowing Taylor, I have no doubt that is true.

…..

 **Christian's POV**

"You Greys really know how to celebrate holidays," Ana tells me as we make our way to our bedroom. "This was the best Easter ever."

I'm ecstatic that she enjoyed her first Grey holiday, but the way she says "you Greys" doesn't sound right to my ears. I would much rather hear her say "us Greys."

I quickly push that thought to the back burner of my head. No way in hell is she ready for that yet. I just barely got her to move in with us.

"Christian, where'd you go," she asks when she see's that I'm lost in thought. She sits on the bed undoing her sandals.

"Just thinking about today, baby," I tell her. I stand her up to unzip her dress and let it fall to a heap at her feet. "I've been thinking about undressing you since I saw you slip this on."

"I know the feeling," she says as she slips off my jacket and takes off my tie. She slowly unbuttons my shirt kissing a trail down my chest as she goes.

"Mmmm," I say to her.

"Down boy," she tells me. "We have young ears roaming around out there."

I groan, disappointed and she kisses me.

"Tomorrow," she says. "We'll have the whole place to ourselves and I'll let you have your way with me."

"Damn right, woman," I tell her, hitting her ass as she heads for the shower.

* * *

 **A/N:Phew, Easter went off without a hitch.**

 **I hope you all had a great one!**

 **Some of you are asking about facebook. You can find me under lanieloveu. I only post teasers and talk there. it's pretty much the same as pinterest for those of you who don't like facebook.**

 **Have you all seen the scene where they kiss in the ally after Jose's art show? I seriously cannot wait for this movie!**

 **Well the bad news is no more updates for a few days. The good news is the next update will have a lemon in it.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	58. Deliciously Naughty

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Fifty-Eight**

 **Deliciously** **Naughty**

 **Monday March 28, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

The best thing about being a teacher is you get to have all major holidays and breaks off.

The worst part is that your body guard slash self-appointed personal trainer and your boyfriend got together and decided that it would be the perfect time for you to start working out.

So Sawyer dragged me out of the penthouse at 5a.m this morning with a still half asleep Christian's mumbled blessings no less. In his defense, he doesn't know the deal was if I work out I get to drive Sawyer's motorcycle. I'll just keep that to myself for now.

….

I sigh when the car comes to a stop in the parking lot.

"I cannot believe I let you talk me into working out at the park instead of the gym," I tell Sawyer as he opens the SUV's door for me.

"This workout is tougher," he explains. "You won't have those cute little machines doing half the work you."

"I know," I tell him disappointed because I really want those machines doing the work for me.

We take a minute to stretch at the starting point of the mile long track before running our lap. I make it all the way around but by the time I'm done I am sweaty, doubled over, and sucking wind. I roll my eyes at Sawyer who is still bobbing around running in place. He hasn't even broken a sweat.

"Ready to go again," he asks me after I catch my breath.

"Ye...yyeahh...no, I think I'm going to go and sit this one out next to Ryan," I tell him.

Ryan is sitting watching us on a nearby park bench, sticking out like a sore thumb in a black suit while everyone else here is in workout clothes.

Christian insisted he come along with us as we would be too distracted from working out to notice any surrounding dangers . At least that was the excuse he gave. I didn't bring up the point that Taylor accompanies him alone on the busy Seattle streets when they go work out together.

Ryan hands me a bottle of water and I chug it down while Sawyer takes off around the track again this time in break neck speed.

"Show off," I yell accusingly at him and Ryan smiles amused.

He goes around two more times before he comes over to us, out of breath, to drink water and since I am a gluten for punishment, I join him on his last lap.

…..

I collapse on the bench while he takes a football out of his gym bag.

"You cannot be serious," I ask him. My arms are like jell-o from all the running.

"Now that you're all warmed up we can work on your muscles," he says and my mouth falls open.

"That was a warm up," I ask him and he nods.

"You don't throw like a girl do you," he yells to me from where he stands at a distance.

"I'll have you know I was raised by men," I yell back. I refused to play sports of any kind with them, but he doesn't need to know that.

I cock the football back as far as I can and toss it with everything in me.

I'm sure it looked girly with my little wrist flick at the end but it got some height and distance. Sawyer catches it with ease though.

He holds the ball together in both hands then cocks it back like I just did.

"Hey, that's going to be too hard a throw," I yell to him, but it's too late as the ball is already in the air.

"Catch it, Steele," he tells me and I run looking back until its right over head. I turn and move backwards to line up with it letting it fall right into my arms.

"YES," I yell, holding my arms and the ball up in victory. Sawyer holds his arms up celebrating as well. Ryan even has to laugh when I start jumping around like a fool.

…

On our way back I'm hit with a coffee craving, so Ryan pulls into Starbucks.

I order a regular coffee for Christian and a vanilla and toffee frappuccino for myself. It is the best thing I've ever tasted.

I walk into our bedroom sucking my straw like a starving newborn baby. Christian eyes me in question.

"Baby, since when do you drink coffee," he asks, taking his from me and sipping it.

"I don't know," I tell him honestly as I come up for air. "I guess since it comes looking like a milkshake with tasty vanilla and toffee in it."

I suck once again.

"Mmmm and whip cream," I add with the straw still in my mouth making him laugh.

I sit my drink down on the dresser just long enough to strip out of my black sports bra and leggings to have a quick shower. I hate being this sweaty and smelly.

I giggle when I feel Christian come in behind me as just a minute ago he was already fully dressed for work.

"No way in hell you are showing without me if I can help it," he tells me as he grabs the sponge and washes my back. "I didn't realize you were going to be in that type of attire to…workout."

"Mhhmm," is my only response as I am enjoying the feel of him caressing my back.

"So how was your…uh…workout," he asks.

"Good," I say to him, glancing over my shoulder to read his expression but it's closed off. "We did a few laps around the track."

"What else did you all do," he asks me.

"I'm sure you already know, but we tossed a football," I tell him.

"I wasn't aware that football tossing was going to be part of the…workout," he says.

"Why do you keep saying the word like that," I ask him.

"Because you were supposed to go to the gym, Ana," he barks. "Not frolic around the damn park playing ball with Sawyer. Who, by the way, is your bodyguard not your goddamn playmate."

"He was working on my upper body strength," I tell him.

"In that fucking bra top I just saw you in," he says to me.

"I meant with the tossing of the football," I clarify. "Come on. Are we really going to waste this shower arguing about working out when I only did it because you wanted me too?"

He grumbles an agreement before he notices my smile of victory. It quickly disapears when he reaches from behind me to knead my nipples.

His mouth is at my neck, nipping and sucking my shoulder as his hand slowly moves down my stomach. He lingers just shy of where I am so desperate for him to touch me.

"Christian," I whimper his name in frustration.

"Whose monster am I teasing right now, Baby," he whispers to me.

"Yours," I say quickly. "Your monster."

"All mine," he tells me as he dips his hand down, slipping a single finger into my core.

"Yes," I tell him as I grind into his hand. "All yours."

"Shit," he says when his cell phone goes off somewhere in the bedroom.

I groan when he takes his hand away from me. I know by the ringtone its Ros and he has to answer it. She only calls him before work when she can't handle something herself.

He leaves me in the shower as he goes to answer her. I can hear him talking and he doesn't sound at all happy about whatever it is she has to say.

"Baby, I have to go," he pokes his head in the shower already dressed again.

"What's wrong," I ask him.

"A deal is about to fall through," he tells me and I nod. He kisses me quickly, promising he'll be home by dinnertime and leaves for work.

…..

I spend the morning out on the patio reading but the chill brings me back in.

The twins are spending a few days with their mom and I didn't realize how much I would miss not having them here. Phoebe has put me on Wilfred duty, but I rope Sawyer into holding him while I change his cage.

"This is the ugliest thing I've ever seen," he tells me of the cute little rat.

"Don't say that. He'll hear you," I tell him.

"Ugh, he stinks," he says, gagging.

"Man, what a wuss you are being right now," I tell him taking Wilfred and putting him in his fresh cage. I give him his meal before leaving Phoebe's room.

"Let me know when you're ready to go," Sawyer tells me as we part ways at the bottom of the stairs.

...

I've decided to surprise Christian for lunch today at his office. I call Andrea to see if he's available to eat with me. She assures me that she'll make sure he stays in for lunch so I make him a salad of apple, cranberry, spinach and avocado sprinkled with candied pecans and a drizzle of balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

This salad is so healthy it's downright persnickety. I decide to counteract the healthy smugness by making some fried mac and cheese balls that I know he is going to love. I pack it all up and get ready to go.

I hear the wind whipping against the window pane as I get dressed. The sky is threatening rain, so I grab my tan trench coat and put it on. As I look at myself in the mirror a thought comes into my head. I hurry and act on it before I chicken out.

…

 **Christian's POV**

I had to leave my girl all turned on and slippery wet this morning so that Ros and I could deal with the incompetent pricks I hired to help run my company. Is it too much to ask for an employee to just do their job without fucking up?

We spend the whole damn morning on the phone with the president of Komatsu Communications and his pissed off board members reassuring them that GEH is competent enough to take on its competitors and trustworthy enough to honor our contracts.

Thank fuck Ros is fluent in Japanese as that went along way in impressing them.

"We dodged a bullet," she says as we end the conference call.

She leans back relieved in her chair. Her red hair tamed for once in a ponytail behind her head. Her bright red heels are bringing out the beige colored form fitting dress she's wearing making many a man here weep in her wake.

"Andrea, send Simon in here, now," I bellow at her.

"Yes, Mr. Grey," she tells me in her usual calm manner.

She and Ros are the only ones unfazed by my outbursts and thank fuck because I don't have time to coddle them or hold their hands when they play such important roles in helping me run my company.

"Is it really necessary to do it now" Ros asks after I hang up with Human Resources and alert them of the situation. "He's been with us for so long. In a few years he'll be retired, you know. Can't you just demote him until then?"

"That would send the wrong message," I tell her, surprised by her bleeding heart. "We fire major fuck-ups. That's how this company works and everyone knows it."

"Mr. Hayes," Andrea says walking in with Simon, my Chief Financial Officer for the past five years and quickly leaves us alone.

"Have a seat Simon," I tell him. He sits nervously next to Ros.

"Mr. Grey," he begins.

"I don't know what you were thinking," I cut him off. "You took it upon yourself to change the deal that we had already agreed upon. Do you have any idea how that makes us look?"

"Their stock was rapidly declining," he explains "I thought I could…"

"You didn't have authorization to do a damn thing but to honor the original agreement," I tell him. "Your fuck up nearly cost us, not only millions of dollars, but our reputation in the foreign market. I can't let that slide. Simon, you have given me no choice but to terminate your employment, effective immediately."

"Mr. Grey," he starts. "I realize I made a grave error in judgment, but I've been a loyal employee since the day you started this company."

"Yes, you have and up until this point you've have been a great asset," I tell him. "Unfortunately for all of us, that is no longer the case."

"Ros, help me out here, please," he turns to her. "You know how dedicated I am to this company and have been for the last five years of my life."

"I'm sorry, Simon," she says, backing me. "But we have to show that we take this seriously, otherwise it sets a bad example and opens up too many unwanted doors."

"Your years of dedication to GEH will not go unrewarded. You'll be given a very hefty severance package," I tell him as I dial Taylor to escort him out.

He leaves dejected without another word, making Ros and I both feel like shit. It is much easier for them to go telling us to fuck off.

"Sometimes I hate my job," Ros tells me and I am inclined to agree with her right now as we discuss who would be best to fill the now vacant position.

….

 **Ana's POV**

I sit wrapped up tight in my trench coat in the back of Sawyer's SUV as he drives me to Grey House. I'm sure he has put his FBI skills to work and figured me out as he looks everywhere but in my direction.

He opens the door for me and I carefully step out onto the sidewalk. We walk together to the entrance. My bare legs chilled as they are exposed to the weather.

"I can take it from here, Sawyer," I tell him upon entering the lobby, grabbing on to the bag of lunch I made for Christian and I.

"I'll be in security," he says, thumbing in the direction he's about to go. I give him a nod and continue on to the front desk.

I thought I would be use to this place since I've been here before, but it is just as cold and intimating as the first time. But now there is no group of well dressed smiling men to greet me.

This was a good idea when I left the penthouse a little while ago, but now that I'm here at Grey House, I am really regretting it. I flip my collar up, slip the bag handles around my wrist, and shove my hands in my pockets as I muster up all of the Jose Rodriguez I have in me to sashay my way along like I'm on a runway.

The lobby is filled with nothing but hustle and bustle as people nearly run into each other like ants as they are much too busy or important to get out of the way, but as I walk, people are clearing a path for me. Men and women alike step around me in a wide axis and I feel their eyes as they look back at me when I pass them by.

I groan when I hear the clicking of my feet as I walk, causing even more attention to myself. I'm sure my jet black sky high peep- toe Louboutin heels are really driving home the point of me looking like a high-priced call girl that just spent time shopping at Agent Provocateur.

I breathe easy when I finally make it to the desk to see the stunning blonde sitting there.

"Hi," I greet her. "I'm…"

"Miss. Steele," she says, politely as she gives me a red tag that says visitor. "It's nice to see you, please go on ahead."

She points to the elevators and I thank her as I clip the tag on to the lapel of my coat.

I wait patiently with the crowd. When one opens, Taylor walks out with an older gentleman, carrying a small box, and what looks to be like another security guard. They continue on as Taylor stops to address me.

"Miss. Steele," He says, surprised. "How nice to see you. Please use Mr. Grey's elevator."

He directs me over and punches in the code.

"Thanks, Taylor," I say to him. I wave like an idiot as the doors close.

Remembering there are no cameras in here, I take the moment to adjust myself. I make sure I am completely covered again before the doors open to Christian's floor.

"Go right in, Miss. Steele," Andrea says to me and I thank her.

I open the heavy door to walk in, but my heel slips from under me and I go flying forward. I end up on my hands and knees in a very peculiar doggie style position. I look up to see Ros and Christian racing towards me.

I try to get up, but it proves difficult in my heels. Christian reaches me first and takes me by the arm. He lifts me up and stands me on my feet.

I look over at Ros and her mouth is to the floor in amused shock as she stares at me.

I look down to see that my trench coat is now open exposing the skimpy pink bra and panties with the hot pink trim I wore for Christian's eyes only.

His hands are on me in a flash tugging my coat closed and tying it up.

"I need a moment alone with my girlfriend," Christian tells her, emphasizing the word girlfriend.

She doesn't move as she looks at me appreciatively.

"Get out." Christian orders and she scurries towards the door.

"Ana. You. Are. Hot," Ros whispers in my ear as she passes me.

"Ros," Christian warns her.

"I need to go home and see Gwen for a few hours," she announces.

Christian rolls his eyes at the now closed door she just went out of.

"Did you hurt yourself, Baby," he asks me as he looks me up and down checking for injury.

"Besides my ego, you mean," I ask him. "No."

I put my face in my hands to cool the heat that has been flaming since I fell, but Christian removes them.

"I was trying to be sexy for you," I say with a huff, upset with myself. "I'm so embarrassed and I embarrassed you in front of your VP."

"Baby, please don't be embarrassed," he tells me. "I'm just glad you didn't hurt yourself. And Gwen will probably send you flowers once Ros gets done with her."

"Oh God," I half laugh with a half groan.

"And you are sexy as hell," he tells me. "I've never seen a woman fall so sexy."

"Will you stop it," I say to him.

"I swear, Baby," he tells me. "I was thinking to myself damn, I want to fuck her falling ass."

I laugh and squirm away from him as he nuzzles my neck.

"You brought me lunch," he says as he picks up the bag, still intact, from where I dropped it.

"A salad and a little surprise for you," I tell him.

"Well, I'm sure this will be good too," he says and I smile, getting his meaning.

"Now, now, Mr. Grey," I tease him. "I just came to make sure you eat well."

"Oh don't worry, Miss. Steele, I plan to," he says coming back over to me grabbing the ties of my coat.

I swat his hands away as I walk over to his desk and unpack our lunch.

"I meant the food I made for you," I tell him.

"Mmmm, Baby **you** were made for me," he tells me and I laugh.

"You are frisky," I say to him.

"You falling in here looking like that," he says. "Frisky doesn't even begin to cover it."

He reaches for the ties of my coat again.

"I'm loving this little present I get to unwrap today, Baby," he says as he unties me.

He opens up the coat and slides it down my shoulders onto the floor in front of his desk.

"Damn," he says as he takes me in.

I direct him over to his huge chair and sit him down.

I sit on the clear space of his desk before him and place the ball of my heeled feet on either side of his chair.

His face shows a devious grin as he eye fucks me spread open before him.

I take the Tupperware bowl of salad and spear it, making sure I get a little of everything on the fork before I feed it to him.

"Mmmmm," he says in appreciation as he chews.

I alternate feeding us the salad until it's all gone before I move on to the fried mac and cheese balls.

"Baby," Christian says picking up the last one. "Next to you actually being here, this is the highlight of a pretty fucked up day,"

He pops it in his mouth.

"Well so far," he adds as he scoots me into his lap and kisses me.

"We can't," I tell him knowing his intentions. "What if someone needs you?"

"I need you," he tells me. "Everyone else can wait."

I want to protest but he covers my mouth with his own. All of my will power is gone when he slides my panties over and slips two fingers into me.

"Mmm," he moans as he sucks me off of his finger. "You taste deliciously naughty right now."

He lifts me up as he stands and plants me firmly back on his desk.

"Do you know how long I've fantasized about taking you this way," he asks me as he unhooks my bra and slips it off.

I shake my head to his question.

"For much too long, Baby," he says before he takes my hardened nipple in his mouth to suckle it. I arch my back pushing me forward.

He moans when I tangle my fingers in the back of his head and pull him to me, bringing him in close.

All rational thoughts go out his wall of windows as his jacket and shirt go flying across the room.

"Fuck, Baby," he says now as I tug at his pants to get them undone. "I love when you get like this."

"My monster… needs…"is all I can get out before the words evaporate in my brain as he pulls my panties to the side and enters me with such a pleasurable force it nearly tips me over the edge.

His hands are clamped on to my thighs and my legs are locked around his waist.

He pounds into me in a splendidly quick and deep rhythm. His moans fill my ear and bring me close to my release.

"Aw Fuck, Ana," he calls me as my nails scratch the length of his back.

"Christian," I pant out as my orgasm hits me and I bite down on his shoulder to keep from screaming.

He pushes me down until my back is resting on his desk. My legs are hoisted in the air as he places his large hand around my neck to steady me. I grab hold of his wrist with both hands to help stop myself from moving as he hammers into me, digging deep inside searching for his release.

He finds it moments later, calling my name as wave after wave hits him.

….

Moments later after we've caught our breaths and our orgasms have calmed, I sit up to look at him.

"Wow," he says and I giggle.

My giggle turns into a laugh at the sight of his pants and underwear bunched down around his ankles.

He smirks at me and pulls them up, but they are now quite wrinkled.

"Oh this is just great," I say as I catch site of myself in the window behind him. My hair is sticking out in all directions. "I am not going to be able to leave here without everyone knowing what we've been doing."

"Damn right," he says proudly and I refrain from rolling my eyes at him beating his chest possessively.

"It doesn't smell like sex in here does it," I ask him looking around the room.

I groan when he smiles in confirmation. I want to have him call for air freshener, but that would be way too obvious. So I settle for trying to make myself more presentable by finger combing my hair down straight again.

"Did you fix the emergency this morning," I ask him and he nods.

"I had to get rid of an employee," he tells me regrettably and I run my fingers through his hair in comfort.

"Baby," he says quickly changing the subject.

He waits until I finish putting on my bra to help me with my coat. He's all dressed and looking amazing even in wrinkled clothes.

"I have a business trip I have to go on Friday and I want you to come with me," he tells me.

"Where," I ask him.

"L.A," he says.

"Really," I say happily and he nods.

"I'll be in meetings that day, but if we stay the weekend, we can spend some time with your dad."

"YES," I say jumping into his arms.

* * *

 **A/N: Once again I feel like it's been longer than a week I last updated. But I guess a week is long for me.**

 **SdaisyS and** **I have started a facebook group called FSoG Fanfic Obsessed. It's just a fun group where we all talk about anything and everything FSoG. If you are into that sort of thing come and join us.**

 **Now for Q and A:**

 ***Who is Michelle (lol)? She is Teddy's girlfriend.**

 ***Will Sawyer be bored guarding Ana? No he won't be as bored as Taylor as we move past the fluff and into other things.**

 ***Jess at Easter? Ana was at the Grey's, so Jess wasn't invited to the event. But there will be occasions involving the twins where they will all be together.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing and don't forget to check out pinterest and facebook.**


	59. California Dreaming

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter 59**

 **California Dreaming**

 **Friday April 1, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

It took me forever to convince my dad I wasn't playing an April Fool's joke when I told him Christian and I'd be in LA for the weekend.

The twins were disappointed that they couldn't come along with us and truthfully so was I, but Christian promised to bring us all back when it wasn't a work trip that would have him tied up and unable to do the things they would want us to.

My dad insisted that we stay with him so Christian dropped me and Sawyer off this morning. He and Taylor stayed long enough to get us settled in and chat with dad before leaving for the meeting.

I've been lying down for the last two hours trying to calm my weak stomach. Christian teased that I was a terrible flier and that even his private jet couldn't stop me from feeling the effects of air travel. I, of course, blamed him for pampering me to the point of being spoiled. We were joking but I know he was worried about me. So much so that dad had to push him out the door with the assurance that he would take good care of me while he was gone. His fretting over me scored major points with my dad.

"You want me to bring your Tea in there to you, Sweet Pea," I hear my dad call to me from the kitchen.

"No, I'll be right there," I tell him getting up out of bed. I splashed some cool water on my face and dried it off before joining Dad in the kitchen.

"I put a little ginger in it," he tells me as I sit down with him at the table.

"Thanks, Dad," I say to him.

"Sure thing, Babygirl," he says. "Ray is kicking himself that he isn't here."

"I know," I say sadly at him missing me. "I'll drive up to see him soon."

"You feel up to doing that," he asks knowing that I would never willingly go back to Montesano.

"I think I can manage it now," I tell him and he smiles.

"With that big body guard you got, a man would be a fool to get near you," he jokes.

"He is great in that department," I tell him of Sawyer who is outside guarding against only God knows what. He refuses to come inside. I swear he acts like he's never met a girl's father before. Knowing how he breaks out in hives whenever I mention him finding a girlfriend, I can see why.

"Is he to help with your panic attacks," Dad asks me as he gets up in search of something.

I watch as he finally finds it and brings it back over to the table.

"I don't know why you just won't smoke some of this," he tells me, placing his large glassed mason jar of marijuana on the table in front of me. "It will cut all that shit out."

"DAD," I yell, pushing the jar back over to him. "Put that away! I don't want you smoking that around Christian."

"Leave it to my daughter to be with such a goddamn square," he complains and I laugh never hearing Christian described that way. "Make sure he stays away from the medicated brownies."

"Oh God," I groan.

"You should try one," he tells me.

"No thanks," I say. "Besides, I don't have panic attacks that much anymore."

"Then why the sitter," he asks. I take a quick sip of my tea before I tell him the truth.

"I had some trouble with a co-worker," I say to him.

"What kind of trouble," he asks. I can feel the tension in him rise.

"He misunderstood things between us," I tell him, sugar coating it. "Christian helped me take care of it. He was fired and its okay now."

He lets out an angry frustrated breath.

"Why didn't you tell Ray and I you were having problems with some jackass at work," he asks me. "You know we would have been right up there."

"I'm not sixteen anymore, Dad," I tell him, gently. "It's bad enough Christian had to step in, but I need to handle things without my parents."

"Well thank God Christian did," he tells me. "That is what a man is suppose to do. Obviously he feels he is still a threat, with the FBI guarding you."

"How do you know he's FBI," I ask him.

"I spoke to Taylor and then you're Uncle Alvin ran a check," he says. I roll my eyes at calling his buddies checking up on Sawyer. It's the same thing he did with Christian at Christmas. "But Alvin already knew who he was. He is very respected in the job. Now don't change the subject."

"Christian is just very cautious when it comes to the people he cares about," I simply tell him.

"I knew there was a reason I liked **Mr. Grey** ," he says.

The memory of him and Ray catching us on skype still makes me groan in embarassment.

"He seems to be doing a fine job taking care of you," he tells me with a grin. "Even in that Seattle weather you are just glowing."

"Daaad," I sing out to him at his compliment.

"I mean it, Sweetie," he tells me. "You just keep getting prettier and prettier each time I see you."

I can't help but smile like a little girl.

….

 **Christian's POV**

Finally we break for lunch.

I have been in meeting after meeting all damn morning and it's not going to end anytime soon. I could spread them out throughout the weekend, but I want it all over and done so that I may spend at least one full day here with Ana and Frank.

Ros usually takes these types of meetings as they are a simple exchange of information to keep our LA branch up to date on what we expect of them while working under the GEH umbrella, but I decided Ana and I needed a little get away.

Taylor is here with me and I brought Sawyer along for Ana. I just got my usual report letting me know that all is well with her.

She was very excited about us coming to LA to see her dad. When we Pulled up to his house, I could tell Frank was just as excited. He stood waiting impatiently on the porch of his white, moderately sized, one story Spanish styled home. The moment he saw Ana in the back of our rented SUV, he threw his arms up in victory.

"So that's where you get it from," I say to Ana and she jabs me with her elbow. Sawyer, who is driving, covers his laugh.

Frank couldn't wait for her to get out of the car before he came after her. Instead of taking the concrete path, he cut across his lush green lawn to greet her with a big bear hug.

Out of habit Sawyer, Taylor, and I surveyed the outside of the house for any security problems. But for the tall palm trees and beautiful landscape, there is nothing that catches our eye.

After ten minutes of hugging Ana to death he shakes my and Taylor's hand. We introduce him to Sawyer before going inside. The house is warm and lived in. The room we are sharing is the one I recognize from our disastrous Christmas Skype. It has a king sized bed but more importantly it is on the far side of the house away from Frank's bedroom.

...

I take out my phone to text Ana as I walk back to the board room. She wasn't feeling well when I left and I need to check on her.

 **Are you feeling better, Baby? C**

 **Much better. How's the meeting going? A**

 **Slow. Just walking back from lunch. C**

 **Are you walking while texting? A**

 **Yes. C**

 **That is very dangerous. A**

 **You're worth it. And I love you. C**

 **Love you. Don't work too hard. A**

 **…**

 **Ana's POV**

I lay in bed, wide awake when I hear Dad and Christian talking in the living room. I check the clock on my bedside table and it reads 1 am. He warned me he would be back very late when he called earlier and told me not to wait up for him.

I listen as they say their goodnights and his footsteps get closer to the door.

"Hey, Baby," he says to me. I can hear in his voice how tired he is. "I thought you'd be asleep."

"I tried, "I tell him as I sit up in bed and rest my back on the head board. "But I can't sleep."

I watch as he strips down out of his clothes.

"Are you still sick," he asked concerned and I shake my head no. "Then sleep."

"Okay," I tell him. "Did you get everything done?"

"I'm all yours, Baby," he says as he stands before me gloriously naked. I catch myself licking my lips at him and he smirks at me.

I get a kiss that gets me pretty riled up before he heads off to shower.

He gives me a look when he returns to see me in the exact same position he left me in.

I watch as he slips on his boxer briefs and climbs into bed. I slide under the covers turning away from him. He waits for me to get comfortable before he puts his arm around me. I sigh contently.

"Why couldn't you sleep," I hear him say as I'm drifting off.

"I can't sleep without you," I mumble to him, hoping he heard me.

He kisses my shoulder and I feel his smile on my skin.

"Me either, Baby," he whispers. It's the last sound I hear before sleep claims me.

…..

 **Saturday April 2, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

In spite of going to sleep late, I wake up excited that we are all spending the day at my favorite spot in New Port Beach.

Christian is dressed in red swim shorts and I am in a white and pink striped bikini.

"The Heat is here," we hear Dad say of Sawyer and Taylor. I throw on my white cover-up while Christian makes sure we have everything we need.

"Ah, nothing like California sunshine," I say to Dad and Christian. The 80 degree weather gets us nice and toasty while we lounge on the blue and white beach chairs we brought along.

"You got that right, Sweet Pea," Dad tells me. "You'll be California dreaming by this time next week."

"I don't doubt it, Frank," Christian tells him as he slaps on sunscreen.

"Rookie," I say to him as he sits glistening with it on. He shakes the bottle and winks at me. I motion to my dad and grab the bottle to put it on myself. He gets away with putting it on my back for me.

Dad refuses it. He says there's something in it to cause male sterility and Christian quickly puts it away. I know he's joking but I'm sure Christian will be checking on that later.

I get comfortable and crack open the book I've just started reading a few days ago.

"What," I say when I look up to see them both laughing at me.

"Nothing, Baby," Christian says as he leans back in his chair to relax.

"Nothing at all, Sweetie," Dad says, following suit.

I roll my eyes and get back to reading, leaving them to fend for themselves a while.

Before long I'm just pretending to be engrossed in my book while I'm actually listening to them talk over me.

"It's a conspiracy," Dad says. "No way in hell they can justify jacking up the price of gas to over four dollars a gallon. I'm telling you we didn't have this problem back in the eighties. I don't know who the hell they have controlling the switch now, but I don't trust him. Have you seen how fast that stuff goes? I swear it just evaporates right out of the car."

"Their reasons are pretty shoddy," Christians agrees. "And that refinery explosion in Torrance did seem kind of iffy."

"Damn right," my dad says settling back down.

I look over at Christian and he gives me a devious grin for encouraging and at the same time diffusing my dad's rant.

"I'm hot," I tell him. "Let's go for a swim."

He nods in agreement getting up.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself for a few minutes, Dad," I ask him as I take off my cover-up and put it in my chair.

"You're old man will be fine," he tells me. "I'll go bug Taylor if I get bored."

He takes off his straw hat and puts it over his face to block the sun.

"Okay," I laugh.

I look over to see Taylor and Sawyer seeming relaxed in their shorts and beach chairs near by. I've never seen Taylor in shorts. I've caught him in his robe in the kitchen with Gail a few early mornings but that's about it.

"Watch out for sharks," Dad warns us.

…..

I lead Christian along until we are at the shoreline.

"It's still too cold," I tell him when the wave comes and covers our feet.

"You'll get use to it pretty quick," he says as he pulls me out into the water until we are waist deep.

The sun is beating down my back so I dip down to get it wet. I am facing away from the water and a huge wave comes up and takes me by surprise. I scream grabbing hold of Christian. He wraps his arms around my waist and makes a move like he's going to toss me.

"Don't you dare," I squeal out and wrap my legs tight around his hips.

He simply falls backwards and we both go under.

We come up laughing and I proceed to splash him with the reseeding water. He grabs me and plants a big salty wet kiss on my lips.

He goes to deepen it but then looks over at my dad. Even at far distance we can see his eyes are trained on us like a hawk.

We go farther out to where the waves are calmer.

"Damn, Baby," Christian says whispering to me. "You just had to wear this hot ass bikini. How the hell am I not supposed to react to you."

"Why are we whispering," I imitate his tone as he paws me under the water.

"I think he can hear us," he tells me looking over at my dad now back under his straw hat.

"Christian will you stop it," I tell him. "He can't possibly hear us."

I huff in frustration at him not believing me as I shake my head.

"Can you Dad," I say looking at him but using my regular tone. No way should he have heard me but we both watch as his head suddenly pops up to look at us. "Oh my God!"

"See," Christian says turning us away from him. "I think he has you bugged. Damn, I don't know why I didn't think of that. You're a good man, Frank."

He says the last part leaning in close to me like I have a microphone attached. I push him back as I laugh. But then right on cue, Dad gives us a wave.

"Oh no," I squeal. "He's chipped me!"

I wrap my arms around Christian's shoulders as he laughs into my neck.

…..

"Are you sure about this," I ask Christian as I sit on one of the large cabinets in the study. We are heading out to see my dad's band perform. Dad wants Christian to play with him, but he is operating on very few hours of sleep. We've been at the beach and then sightseeing all day. "The Hollywood Bowl is really…big."

"I know, Baby," he tells me. "But I'll be fine. Stop worrying about me."

"How," I ask him and he shrugs, amused. "When you figure it out, let me know."

He comes and stands between my legs.

"You are killing me with these outfits," he tells me. I am wearing a black top with sheer mesh sleeves, black skinny jeans, with matching heels.

"Well, we are here alone," I remind him that my dad has gone on ahead for sound check.

He growls ready to take full advantage of me when we hear Sawyer walk in.

"You've got to be kidding," Christian says.

"I apologize, Sir," Sawyer tells him. "But if we want to beat traffic we should get going."

"We'll be right there," I tell him and he gives me a nod.

…..

By some miracle we get ahead of the crowd, but before long the whole Hollywood Bowl is packed.

I'm sitting with the military vets. Sawyer is next to me in the front row while dad, his band, and Christian are on stage. Everyone is adjusting their guitars and drums. I wonder why Christian isn't tinkering with the keyboard.

Dad comes up to the microphone to quiet everyone down. I shake my head at his corny jokes and clap proudly with a standing ovation when he gives his respect to the brave men who serve.

We settle down again and I just about fall out of my chair when he introduces Christian as his guest singer tonight and that the first song is called Fairytale.

I try to remember if I've ever heard the song as I fumble with my phone to call Jose.

My dad is still speaking Christian's praises as he answers.

"Jose," I tell him before he can say a word. "GEA is about to sing with my Dad! Press record on your phone."

"OH MY GAWD! RICKY," he calls him excited and then shuts up to record it.

I reach and grab Sawyers phone from his coat pocket. He helps me turn on his complicated video recorder and I hold both his phone and mine up to capture my man singing on stage with my dad.

Dad starts off with a slow acoustic guitar riff and then Christian starts to sing.

 **Bright eyes, where do you wander on this dark night  
So long til dawn, no longer uptight  
No need to worry for a while**

 _Oh my God, he sounds amazing._

 **Angel eyes, why do you leave me when it's just right  
Always deceive me, then you take flight  
No need to worry for a while**

 **Same morning, pick up the pieces and then keep walking  
Away from your lies and all your sweet talking  
No need to worry for a while**

 _You are recording this so don't squeal, Ana! Do NOT squeal!_ I tell myself as I try to hold Sawyer's phone steady.

I look over to see Taylor holding up his tablet. I breathe easier knowing that he is also recording it all too. He looks just as shocked as I do right now.

 **Sometimes its short and sometimes its long  
Sometimes I'm right and sometimes wrong  
You can run into me, then you're running away  
And I hope that time can make the change  
Maybe happiness is just another fairytale**

 **Bright eyes, hard to remember when we first met  
Now you're my sunrise and my sunset  
Always deceive me with a smile  
Still learning, by the crazy world that keeps turning  
And a crimson sun that keeps burning  
And its burning all the time**

I bite my tongue not to scream out as he and dad sing together.

 **Baby, you're running  
Baby, you're running  
Baby, you're running away  
Yeah, baby, you're running  
Baby, you're running  
Baby, you're running**

 **Sometimes its short and sometimes its long  
Sometimes I'm right and sometimes I'm wrong, yeah  
Baby, you're running  
Maybe happiness is just another fairytale**

 **Bright eyes, where do you wander on this dark night  
So long til dawn, no longer uptight  
No need to worry for a while.**

Christian gets a standing ovation. He is having the time of his life up there on stage and my dad is grinning like an over-stuffed cat. They sing two more songs together before he gets off the stage to come join me in the front row. It takes everything I have not to jump his bones when he approaches. He gets plenty of high fives from the veterans that are sharing the seats next to us.

"Did you like it, Baby," he asks me.

I plant a long hot kiss right on his lips in answer to his question.

We sit and I am practically all over him as we watch my dad play his butt off with his band for the rest of the show.

….

"Baby, are you done yet," Christian asks as he lies in bed waiting for me to finish sending the clip of him singing to everyone. I already sent it to Char, then Kate and Elliot, Mia, Carrick and finally now Grace. I'll wait and show it to the twins when we get back home.

"Your mom wants us all to come over so she can see the whole thing," I tell Christian, reading her text. "She wants to make it a movie night."

"When did mom give you her cell phone number," he asks me shocked as I text her an okay back.

He knew I had Carrick's since he was my lawyer, but not his mom's

"Easter," I say shyly, putting my phone down on the dresser and he shakes his head.

I plan on having my way with him tonight. I am in a sexy red skimpy nightgown that I know he is loving by the way he's watching me walk over to get in bed.

"Mmmm," he growls at me.

I lean in to kiss him, but he moves away.

"What is it," I say to him.

"You're dad," He whispers.

"What about him," I ask.

"He's probably listening," He says to me.

"He's sleeping," I tell him. I just checked to be sure before we came to bed. I go to move the covers off of him but he catches them and pulls them up to his chin.

"Are you serious," I ask him half amused and half frustrated at being horny. He nods.

"Trust me, he's watching us," he whispers as his eyes dart around the room paranoid. "I can feel it."

"Christian," I say eyeing him. "You didn't eat the brownies in the special container did you?"

….

 **Sunday April 3, 2016**

 **Christian's POV**

Everything is packed up and loaded in the SUV for us to leave. Frank insisted we have lunch on him today before we go. Ana and I are waiting for him at the Reef, a restaurant by the harbor they frequent in Long Beach.

"You okay," Ana asks me as I am unable to sit still. "You still look freaked out."

"I'm fine," I tell her.

"Are you sure you didn't eat the brownies," she asks me.

She explained her dad's use of medical marijuana as a way to help with his PTSD. Apparently I have to check the snack items to make sure they are not loaded with the stuff.

"Positive," I tell her. "I did not partake in your dad's…stash."

She giggles.

"Hey kids, sorry I'm late," Frank says, giving Ana a kiss on the cheek before sitting down.

He orders every seafood dish on the menu and we indulge ourselves. Ana excuses herself to go to the bathroom and I am finally left alone with Frank. The first night I arrived back from my meetings I talked to him briefly in the living room, I explained that I wanted to have a discussion with him before we left. The opportunity hadn't really presented itself until now. I've been sweating bullets and Ana's noticed.

I clear my throat as he waits for me to start. I am well aware that this could go either way. I will either get his blessings or a lobster fork plunged in the side of my neck.

"Frank," I begin. "I love your daughter….."

...

 **Ana's POV**

I rush to the bathroom not wanting Dad or Christian to know that the seafood is not agreeing with me as I toss it all up in the toilet. I rinse my mouth out with water and head back to the table.

Upon my arrival Christian and Dad seem a bit weird. Christian is now more relaxed then he was before I left and Dad seems…normal.

"Everything okay," I ask when I reach them. Christian stands to help me sit down again.

"Just...man to man talk," Dad tells me looking up fondly at Christian and I smile knowing that he genuinely likes me.

…..

We arrive back at Seattle with an hour to spare before the twins come home. I flop down on our bed, exhausted.

"Hey, baby, look what came," Christian says as he comes in the room with a large plain brown package.

I open it up to find the sex items we ordered off the internet.

"Yes," I say when I look at the cherry flavored blowjob gel.

Christian raises an eyebrow at me and my enthusiasm.

"Why is the box so big," I wonder out loud as I dig farther into it.

I laugh when I see all the stuff he ordered.

Not only did he buy one flavored gel, but he bought ALL of the flavors. Along with edible cinnamon sugar body dust, a kinky sex set complete with fuzzy purple handcuffs, matching tickler, and mask.

"A twizzlers whip," I say holding up the whip made of the edible red licorice candy.

"Oh yeah," he says taking it from me. "I can't wait to eat this." I frown as he leaves the room and me left wondering what that means.

* * *

 **A/N: I told you on Facebook I would try to update by Monday and I've done it!**

 **Now I hope you enjoyed that little stretch of fluff.**

 **Right to Q and A:**

 ***Some of you were wondering why Sawyer frowned at Sandy when she approached them in the flower shop. It wasn't a frown. He was joking with Ana and when he saw her co-worker approach, he just turned serious and professional again.**

 ***Am I done with the storyline? Not yet, I still have a little bit left.**

 **The video of Jamie Dornan singing Fairytale is on pinterest.**

 **Thanks as always for reading and reviewing.**


	60. Anastasia Steele

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter 60**

 **Anastasia Steele**

Monday April 4, 2016

 **Christian's POV**

Ana and I wake the twins up early so that we can have breakfast at the café to get our week started right.

Phoebe is as excited as always to try the new spring celebrated goodies they have on display and Ana shares in her enthusiasm.

Of course those two pick the cream cheese and fruit pastries which have to be most decadent thing on the menu.

I warn Ana that she is going to have to spend the whole day trying to get a handle on my hyped up daughter but she pays me no mind.

Teddy, who's not into rich sweets so early in the morning, and I opt for the Red Pepper and Baked Egg Galettes.

"Can we get treats for the class, Ana," Phoebe asks her.

"I don't see why not," Ana says. "Why don't you guys pick out something?"

They decide on the Lemon Raspberry Mini Puff Pastry Tarts and we have our breakfast while they're being prepared.

The twins are all about what happened over the weekend with Jess. Apparently Brandon came around and took them to see the older version of the Jungle Book. Disney just released it to celebrate the new version coming out in a few weeks.

"I didn't think I would like it," Phoebe tells us in between bites of her pastry and sips of her orange juice. "But I really did. The big bear was cute. Can I get a stuffed bear like him, Daddy?"

"We'll see, Babydoll," I tell her.

I take out my phone, texting Andrea to find a large version of that bear and the new one if they have it. I then text her to just get the whole damn jungle book collection.

Ana narrows her eyes at me sensing what I'm doing and I smirk at her.

"Brandon promised to take us to see the new movie when it comes out," Teddy says.

"Great," Ana and I say together then look at each other. Hopefully the fact that she and I are waiting to hear if they like Brandon or not isn't too obvious.

They say nothing more so I take the lead and goad them.

"So you guys like mom's new boyfriend," I ask them, cutting right to it.

"He's pretty cool," Teddy says.

"Uh huh," Phoebe agrees nodding her head.

"But not as cool as you," Teddy adds.

"Nope," Phoebe agrees shaking her head.

Ana and I grin.

….

"Well, at least they are moving the relationship along," she says as we sit parked in front of the school in the SUV. Anderson's already escorted the twins to their line and Sawyer is waiting to walk with Ana. "And now Jess feels she and Brandon have progressed enough to bring him around the twins. How do you feel about it?"

"Relieved," I tell her. "I want Jess to experience a healthy happy relationship where she's loved like she deserves. I'll always feel a little guilty of not being able to do it. I know it helped destroy her."

"That's not true," Ana tells me with a kiss. "But I know you feel guilty anyway. You have a big heart. It's one of the reasons I love you."

"You've made it big," I tell her. "You fill it so completely."

"Aww," she says about to kiss me again when the school bell rings.

"Damn," I say. "Cocked blocked by a school bell."

"In your dreams, Grey," she tells me getting out of the car.

I laugh to myself as she purposely switches her hips when she walks because she knows I'm watching her.

….

 **Ana's POV**

I just dismissed the class for lunch and was about to walk over to the employee lounge with Sandy when my phone rang.

"It's my dad," I tell her. "I'll meet you over there later."

"Okay," she says leaving me to talk in private.

"Hey Sweetpea," Dad says in answer to my hello. "You kids made it back okay?"

"All in one piece," I tell him. "I wish we could have stayed longer though because right now its lunchtime and I am really wanting a chili dog from Art's."

"Loaded with extra onions," he tells me, not helping the situation.

"You know it," I say with my mouth watering.

Dad and I always make a stop at Art's Famous Chili Dog stand when I visit him. They are the absolute best. But with my stomach flip flopping all weekend, chili dogs was the last thing I wanted.

"Next time when you're here and feeling better we'll hit 'em up," he tells me.

"It's a date," I say to him.

"Listen, Babygirl, I didn't get a chance to tell you, but spending time seeing you with Christian," he starts.

"Yeah," I say for him to continue.

"He's a real stand up guy," he tells me. "I can see how much he loves you. I think he's real good for you, Sweetie."

"Thanks, Dad," I tell him. "I think so too."

As soon as I hang up with him, Jose calls.

"Are you calm," I ask him.

"I am extremely calm," he lies. His voice sounds like he's been sucking on helium. "It's only THE most important night of my life EVER! oh ohhhmyGAWD!"

I can just imagine him now with his palms at his cheeks.

"I know. I know," I hear him say at Derrick's muffled voice in the background.

"Jose, you are going to knock us all dead tonight," I assure him. "This is what you have been working your whole adult life for."

"What if I fuck up," he says nearly hyperventilating. "What if it's not presented the way it needs to be? OH MY GAWD. I'm never getting my Escala penthouse."

"Don't be ridiculous," I tell him. "You know what you're doing. Photography is like breathing to you. It's in your blood. You got this."

"Okay," he says taking deep breaths. "Right. You're right. You are right. Alright, I'll see you guys tonight."

"Okay," I tell him. " You. Are. The. Best, okay, remember, it's like air."

"You right gurl," he tells me.

Uh…break a leg," I say not knowing what you say to photographers the night of their big showing.

"OH MY GAWD!"

Obviously that wasn't it.

…..

I've just got off the phone trying to calm Derrick down. He is just as hysterical as Jose is right now and Char is no better.

She just found out that since Kavanagh Media have been featuring Jose in their arts and entertainment, Costas Sinclair, the renowned artist turned critic, has taken interest and is scheduled to make an appearance. He is Seattle's answer to Andy Warhol. Now every local news outlet is going to be present at the opening. Of course that means a few of the local celebrities wanting attention are also now on the guest list.

I must admit I'm freaking out a lot myself and it's mostly for my own reasons. Christian had to even help me pick out something to wear as I was in the closet for well over an hour going through outfits

I'm not worried about Jose's show as I know he has worked it to perfection. But a lot is riding on tonight, not only for Jose but for me and Christian. It is our first official event as a couple and with so much media now being there, I am terrified. I just know I'm going to do something really stupid to embarrass myself, Jose, and Christian.

….

 **Christian's POV**

"The twins are in the media room watching a movie, Baby," I call to Ana when I enter the bedroom. She is still somewhere buried in her closet. "Mrs. Beachum just arrived."

"Great," she tells me.

She hates they can't come with us. She really wants to take them everywhere she goes. I love that she enjoys being with them so much and they feel the same way about her.

"Jesus Christ, Baby you are stunning," I tell her as she emerges from her closet in the light pink silk gown I picked out for her to wear. It looks like it was made for her as it hugs her frame perfectly.

"You really think so," she asks me still unsure.

"You take my breath away, Ana," I go over to her and take her in my arms. My hand is splayed across her back and I feel nothing but the warmth of her bare skin. The back of the gown is out and she has her hair up to showcase it.

"You have to say that," she tells me.

"Doesn't make it any less true, Baby," I tell her. "Why do you doubt it?"

I already know why. The fact that the media is going to be reporting tonight has her on edge and I can't say I blame her.

"What if I fall," she tells me.

"I won't let that happen," I assure her. "Even if it did, you have the most amazing fall."

She giggles.

"Come on," I tell her taking her hand. "I can't wait to show you off."

I call to the twins to let them know we are leaving and they rush out to say goodbye.

"You look like a princess, Ana," Phoebe tells her and Teddy quickly agrees. Ana smiles brightly. I think they just gave her a much needed confidence boost.

We get hugs and kisses from Phoebe and high fives from Teddy with the promise of them being good before we leave.

Sawyer, Taylor, Ryan and Reynolds are all on board with us tonight.

Taylor and Sawyer are technically suppose to be off for the next two days, but neither one can stand not being on duty to work an important event. Anderson calls it the tough guy syndrome. They want to be where the action is.

Hopefully we won't be seeing any action other than pictures flying off the walls from people buying them tonight.

Ana doesn't say it, but I'm sure she feels better about things knowing Taylor and Sawyer are going to be there.

….

Taylor is driving and Sawyer is riding shotgun. Ryan and Reynolds are in the SUV behind us as we pull up to the gallery. We sit and wait for them to get in position and give us the go ahead to exit.

I lean over and kiss Ana's shoulders as she looks past me, staring out the window at the crowd of news and paparazzi lined up to snap away at people going in.

I can see the sheer panic on her face.

"Baby, it's okay," I take her hand. "I'm walking right by your side."

"Promise," she asks and I kiss the back of her hand.

"Promise," I tell her. "Once we get inside, this will all go away."

She nods and looks at the door. It's not that far, only a few feet, but unfortunately it is expected for us to walk slowly to give opportunities to take pictures.

Taylor taps on the window, letting me know they are ready, so I open the door and step out.

Cameras start to flash as soon as I am recognized. I hold out my hand to Ana and she takes hold. I watch as one gorgeously high heeled foot then the other steps out onto the concrete. She emerges to even more flashes as everyone is clamoring for pictures.

"Just Breathe, Baby," I tell her as I kiss her temple. My hand is placed securely around her waist as we begin to walk.

"Mr. Grey….Mr. Grey," the paparazzi start to yell so that I may turn for pictures. Normally I give them all the finger and walk inside, but I need to play nice right now for Ana's benefit. "Who are you escorting this evening? Who's the beautiful lady, Mr. Grey?"

I can feel Ana's body tense and in response I hold her a bit tighter.

We spot Kate, over with the real media doing an interview with Jose. I can't help but feel pride as he is so in his element right now. Ana said he and Derrick had been a nightmare on the phone with her all day, but you couldn't tell it by the way he is answering questions. He is acting like a boss at his event and Derrick is smiling ear to ear at him.

Kate sees us and waves. Ana gives her a wave back and a second later the paparazzi are calling her by name.

"Miss. Steele…Anastasia…Anastasia Steele…. Over here." I refrain from rolling my eyes at my sister in law.

Charlotte and Gus are in front of us and it makes Ana feel a little more comfortable seeing them. Charlotte is working the damn crowd like a pro. And Gus is eating it up. Him with his tux and her with her black gown and long hair flowing, you'd swear they were both actors walking the red carpet of the Oscars.

We make it to the door and I let go of Ana for the second it takes to show our passes.

Next thing I know a very loud paparazzi calls for her attention and she whips her head around as the flash of cameras go off again.

I don't know if she is aware of it, but she has her bare back exposed to them and is looking over her shoulder in the sexiest fucking pose imaginable. Those fuckers are falling at her feet.

Sawyer soon gets in between her and the paparazzi as he and Taylor usher us through the door.

She breathes a sigh of relief when we make it into the building and most of the noise outside is shut out.

We are subjected to one last formal picture. I try to get Ana relaxed as I get close to her. I never knew a woman that didn't like getting her picture taken, but my girl isn't any everyday woman.

Finally free of official obligations, we take a look around.

Ana gets giddy when she sees the sign with Jose's name on it.

"The Port Gallery Jose Rodriguez New Photographic Works," she reads it. "I can't believe it's really happening."

"Hi, Ana," a young blonde girl says coming up to us.

She quickly clears her throat, catching herself, before she gives us the professional spiel she was suppose to in the beginning.

"Welcome to Jose Rodriguez's showing, my name is Chattem Bynes," she hands us brochures. "Feel free to look around and help yourself to refreshments. Let me know if I can be of assistance to you."

"Thank you," Ana says to her, trying not to laugh at who I'm guessing is a friend. I simply nod in approval.

"Ana, can you believe this turnout," Charlotte says as she and Gus comes up to us.

"It's so great," Ana agrees looking around at the crowded room.

She's okay being with Charlotte as Gus and I go off to find something to drink.

We all go from photograph to photograph sipping on champagne and admiring Jose's work. I must say Kate did not exaggerate. I knew he was good, I have a picture of Ana and the twins hanging in my office to prove it, I didn't know he was this good. The way he sees the world through his lens is phenomenal.

Jose and Derrick finally get a moment to come over to us.

Somewhere in all the high pitched excitement and hugs, I'm sure they thanked us for being here before they were called away again.

"Bro, your girl is a hit," Elliot comes up to us as we round the corner to check out more photos. I assume he's talking about right now and I agree. But I soon find out differently.

As we continue on I notice everyone staring in recognition at Ana.

They nod and smile to her as we pass and then whisper rather rudely behind our backs.

Now my ego is as big as the next good-looking multi-millionaire, but even I'm not that full of myself to think this is all due to me.

"Elliot what did you mean," I ask him.

"Just keep walking, Bro," he tells me.

We round another corner and that's when we see it: An entire display of large black and white close ups of nothing but Ana.

Jose has caught her in ever pose, showing every emotion possible. She is happy and annoyed, silly and angry, thoughtful and crazy. All the things I love about her are blown up life sized for the world to see. All the things I can't begin to put into words, he has managed to capture them with his camera so beautifully.

Charlotte, Gus, and, Ana talk somewhere in the background while I inspect each picture.

"Baby, I had no idea," I tell her when she comes over to join me.

"Me either," she says just as surprised by it all.

"He always uses me as his test shot dummy, but I thought we were just goofing around," she says.

She looks at her images on the wall and I can see the spark in her eyes.

Finally she sees it!

Thank Fuck, she finally sees what we all see- what I see when I look at her.

"Elliot, stay with Ana," I tell him.

"Where do you think he's going," I hear Char asks as I rush off.

"Oh, don't mind him," Elliot laughs. "He's just going to go buy out the joint."

My brother knows me so well.

I head over to Miss. Bynes to pay whatever the asking price for every single damn picture they have of Ana. I'll triple it. No way in hell anyone else is getting there filthy hands on her pictures.

….

"I cannot believe you bought all those pictures of me," Ana says as we dry off from our shower. The twins were already asleep when we got home and I just checked on them before calling it a night. "Jose was pleased as punch with you. Boy if he didn't worship you before, which he did, he sure does now. I'm going to be hearing about this for months."

"No way in hell was I not going to buy those, Baby," I tell her.

"What on earth are you going to do with them," she tells me.

"I already have a few ideas," I say kissing her shoulder as I dry off her back. "I also have a few ideas for tonight."

"Really," she tells me.

"Mhm," I say to her. "I have a monster I neglected all weekend and I need to make it up to her."

"Well, right now your monster is hungry," she tells me.

"Really," I say. We all had quite the banquet at the gallery as a celebration for Jose so I know she isn't talking about food. I was very impressed. It reminded me of something my mother would have put together."And what might that be for?"

"She's craving something cherry flavored," she tells me as she pushes me back on the bed.

Now she's talking.

She goes and gets the cherry flavored GoodHead from the drawer and squirts it on my dick. I hiss when the cool gel hits my tip and travels down my shaft.

"Aw fuck, Baby," I moan when she takes me full in her mouth.

She is relentless as she works me over. Slurping and sucking all of the gel off of me.

Fuck, I'm not going to last if she keep this up. Her mouth is like a goddamn vacuum. She takes me all the way in and swallows me down.

That's about all I can stand.

My toes curl as my balls quiver, preparing to give me a load of cum to shoot off.

I lift my head to look down and watch her work me over. I grab hold of her and bury my fingers into her damp hair as she bobs her head up and down.

She swallows me, sucks me hard all the way out of her mouth, sucks me hard back in again, and swallows me back down .

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK," I moan out. Every nerve, every fiber, ever cell is focused on my dick and her mouth.

"OHMyFUCKING, SHIT," I hiss out as I cum.

"Mmmmm," she says.

"HA HA HA, shit," I pant out at the feel of her swallowing all I have to give her.

I collapse on the bed feeling like I've just went all twelve rounds in a boxing ring.

"You were kinda backed up there," she tells me as she licks me clean.

"Baby," I start trying and failing to catch my breath. "It's been three damn days. I'm surprised I didn't drown you."

Her giggle gets me hard again and her moan at the sight of it makes it painful.

I haul her up on top of me, having her straddle my legs.

I meant to take this slow but she rises up and sits down on my dick plunging me side of her.

She sucks in a sharp breath at the quick thrust of me entering her. I'm sure this position and the fact that I am rock hard has opened her up. I sit up and capture her mouth in mine to lesson her moan.

She gets use to it quickly and starts to move her hips.

"You feel so good, Baby," I whisper to her as I circle my arms around her waist. Her fingers automatically tangle in the hairs at the nape of my neck.

"Mmmmmm," she lets out when I run my fingertips up and down her back as she rides me.

"Fuck, Baby, you're so wet," I tell her and with each thrust of her hips she gets wetter.

"Christian," she moans out in agony and I respond by taking the lead.

I grab on to her thighs to steady her as I push my hips off the bed pounding into her.

"Yes," she moans out as she bounces on me. She tosses her head back as we move faster, bucking against each other. Her tits are now in my face and I take a nipple in my mouth.

"OhGod," she cries as she cums. My dick is now drowning in her and it triggers me as I shoot off a load deep inside of her.

She collapses on top of me and then keels over on the bed, already unconscious.

I'm left with our warm arousal running down my balls into the crack of my ass, but I don't have strength to clean up. I have just enough left in me to pull her into my arms and join her in oblivion.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I am going to try to wrap this story up pretty soon as everything will be coming to a head in the next few chapters.**

 **Don't forget to check out Facebook and pinterest.**

 **Thank you all for reading and reviewing it is all very much appreciated. ;-)**


	61. Speaking of Which

**Enjoy**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter 61**

 **Speaking of Which**

 **Ana's POV**

I am awakened sometime during the night by the feel of Christian cleaning me up and putting on my pajamas. I try to help him as best I can but I am much too out of it.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder if other women get to experience this type of lovemaking. In my sleepy haze I think to ask Kate or Mia but think better of it. Not really the conversation they'd want to have about their brother I'm sure. I'll just ask Char. She'd be able to tell me.

 _No, just keep this deliciousness all to yourself, Ana._ I think as I feel Christian settle himself beside me and wrap me in his arms once again.

I want to tell him that it's the best feeling in the world but sleep claims me once again.

….

 **Tuesday April 5, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

An Hour before sunrise, I hear our bedroom door creep open. I can tell by the sound of their little feet that it's Phoebe and Teddy. I have my leg draped over both of Christian's. I go to move it, but he grabs it to stop me. Thank God he dressed us last night or this would have been disastrous.

Phoebe lets out a little giggle as she gets in-between Christian and me. She is not so much in-between as she is lying on top of us. I shuffle over, giving her room while Teddy creeps in next to Christian on his side of the bed. He rests his head on Christian's chest and Phoebe wraps her arm around me.

Soon they are both sound asleep. I peek over at Christian and he has his hand running over a contented Teddy's copper colored hair.

The sight of them makes my heart want to burst open with love.

...

 **Christian's POV**

I wake to an empty bed and a room full of sunshine. I make my way out into the great room and smile when I hear Ana, Gail, and the twins in the kitchen with the smell of pancakes and bacon cooking.

"Morning Daddy," the twins say in unison.

"Morning, Daddy," Ana follows suit, but hers has a seductive ring to it that wakes me up in all the right places. Well wrong for right now in the kitchen with eyes on us.

"Good morning," I say looking down at the twins and purposely ignoring her salacious grin at the fact that she knows she is affecting me.

We sit in the dining room to have our breakfast meeting and I give them a rundown of what is going to be a very busy day. The twin's big news is that Dominos Pizza is catering their lunch. As we finish up, Taylor comes in to give me my morning paper. I send the twins up to get ready for school.

"What is it," Ana asks as I stare at the business section.

"We made the paper," I tell her.

"You've got to be kidding," she says as she moves over to the empty seat next to me to have a look. "Oh my God, we actually made the paper! My name is in the Seattle Times as Christian Grey's, business tycoon shark's, girlfriend."

"Business tycoon shark," I say with disdain as I take the paper and read.

 _Bastards._

"No denying me now, Baby," I tell her.

"Not that I ever would," she kisses me.

"I hope you always feel that way," I tell her.

"Why would you say something like that," she asks me, the frown of her forehead makes a cute little v shape.

"It's going to be an invasion of your privacy now that the paparazzi are aware of our relationship," I warn her. "Baby, I don't know how they'll spin it. It could go either way with them depending on what sells and..."

"Dirt sells," she finishes and I nod.

"I just don't want it to get to you," I tell her. "They can be vicious if they choose to be. I have a PR team in place to block out most of it, but some still filters through."

"I love you, Christian," she assures me. "If this is part of the package, I'll gladly take it."

She kisses me again then reaches for the paper, flipping through it. I already know what she's looking for and can tell the minute she sees it when her eyes light up.

"Jose and Kate," she exclaims. "Aww, he looks so happy."

"It was an amazing night," I tell her.

"Speaking of which," she starts.

"Yes," I say nuzzling up to her neck.

"Your mom wants us over on Saturday to watch the video I have of you performing," she lets me know.

"Okay that's not what I was expecting," I tell her. She gives me a frown before realization hits.

"Oooohhhh," she sings. "Well I thought the fact that I was pretty much knocked out seconds after we finished told you how amazing last night was."

"Mmm, it was good for me too, Baby," I tell her.

"Speaking of which, my dad called," she says. "He was very impressed with you."

"Speaking of which," I repeat her phrase, astonished. "Baby, how the hell are you connecting all this shit together?"

She laughs.

"So your father was impressed with me, huh," I ask her as I play with a lock of her hair.

"He sure was," she says. I smile to myself.

 _One down and one to go._

...

"Let's stay home," I tell Ana as we drag ourselves along in the bedroom, getting ready for work. I'm riding on a family high right now and I am in no mood to deal with GEH. "Let's just blow it all off, take the twins, and do something else today."

"We can't," Ana says as she pouts disappointed. "We have to release our butterflies today and we have a reading test that can't wait or we'll be behind."

"A teacher's work is never done," I tell her.

"Oh please, Mr. CEO, I own the world," she teases.

...

"I'm going to miss you today," I tell Ana as I drop her and the twins off.

"We're going to miss you too, Daddy," Phoebe says in answer. I brush her bangs off her forehead and give her a kiss before fixing them back again.

"Have fun with your butterflies today, guys," I tell them as I highfive Teddy. "And focus on your test."

"We will," they say as they get out of the SUV and go off with Anderson.

"Now back to you," I tell Ana. I eye Sawyer in the front seat.

"I'll just wait for you outside," he tells Ana as he gets out. I blow my breath in a frustrated sigh.

"I want to put him on my payroll so I can fire him," I tell her.

"Don't even think about it, Christian Grey," she scolds me. "Speaking of which…."

"Aw for fuck sakes," I groan, wondering what the hell she's going to come up with this time and she smacks my arm.

"I checked my bank account and you haven't cashed the check I gave you for this month's rent," she tells me and I sigh again. No way in hell am I ever going to cash the fucking check and I hate she insists on paying me rent.

"I'll…talk to my accountant about it," I tell her.

"Mhm," she says knowing I am full of if, but she kisses me goodbye when the school bell rings anyway.

I hop in the SUV Taylor followed us in and we take off to GEH.

…

I spend a good portion of the morning with Ros as she gets me up to speed on a company she is interesting in, Seattle Independent Publishing. She wants to let our communications branch swallow it up, but I have her hold off on it. It is an intimate little company with a few good authors and the more I learn about it, the more impressed I am by it. I think it would be the perfect gift for Ana. I tell Ros to buy it, do enough to sustain it, and nothing more.

"The animals have escaped from the Zoo," she says as Andrea escorts the deliverers in with every damn jungle book character there is.

She shuts up quick when I tell her the same delivery is waiting for her in her office for Tyler.

...

We break for lunch.

Taylor and I walk down to the local Deli. I have a taste for roast beef sandwiches and I want to get out of the office and stretch my legs.

"He's a reasonable man, more or less," Taylor tells me of Ray Steele as I take the opportunity to pick his brain about his old military buddy while we walk.

I need to have conversation with the older gentleman and I am dreading it since our first meeting didn't go so well. Granted it was two in the morning and his daughter's mouth had just been recently around my cock, but still, he didn't know that, I hope.

"You just have to catch him on a good day," Taylor tells me.

"What day is that," I ask him.

"Whatever day the fish are biting," he answers me and I shake my head.

Giving up on this conversation, I take out my phone to call Ana.

"Hey, Baby," I say when she answers. I hear a lot of traffic in the background. "Where are you?"

"On Spring St," she says. "Why? Where are you?"

"Right in front of you, Baby," I say as we approach her and Sawyer.

...

 **Ana's POV**

I grab Sawyer and we go to the deli. I am craving an ice coffee and a chocolate chip cookie.

"For someone so little, you sure eat a lot of junk," he tells me as I pick the biggest cookie they have.

"Mr. Health Conscious Number 2, goes for some nasty whole wheat grain granola thing that looks like it's been slapped on cardboard. We find a emtpy spot in the corner and sit down.

"So you're friends with Charlotte Ramsey, right," he asks me as we eat.

"Best friends," I say as I eye him. He knows this. He knows all my friends and co-workers.

"Is she serious about that old guy she was with at the gallery opening," he asks me about Gus and I roll my eyes. Only Sawyer would bring up the fact that Gus is fifty two years old.

"Not really," I tell him. "She doesn't really get too serious about guys."

"My kind of girl," he tells me and I laugh.

"She is the female version of you, come to think about it," I tell him. "But you better steer clear of her."

"Why," he asks me, his curiosity peaked.

"You couldn't handle her," I tease him.

He raises an eyebrow at me in challenge.

On our way out, he stops by the counter one more time.

"Ice Cream," I say to him, shocked as he spoons some from the tiny container. "You are actually eating ice cream?"

"It happens," he says, guiltily with the spoon still upside down in his mouth.

….

We left the deli a little early to head back to campus, I wanted to stop by the newsstand and see if there are any more articles on Jose's Gallery opening I can buy.

I grab all of the art magazines they have. I'm about to pay when I notice one with a picture of me on the cover. It's the Seattle Snooz. I am standing with my back to the camera looking over my shoulder. The caption promises all the details on the "sexy siren" that has apparently stolen the coveted heart of Seattle's newly eligible bachelor.

I pick that one up to throw it in too even though I'm nervous about what it has to say about me. What could they possibly know about me? Dread sweeps through me at the thought of them finding out about Travis.

Sawyer is suddenly on alert.

"What is it," I say as he grabs my arm to lead me on faster.

"Paparazzi asshole taking pictures of you ," he tells me.

I go to turn my head and look behind us, but he tells me not to, so I keep walking.

Sawyer gives the all clear as he says the guy went in the opposite direction.

"I didn't see anyone," I tell him, finally allowed to look back.

"He was a few blocks away," he informs me.

"You saw that from a few blocks away," I ask him and he nods.

"He had a high powered lens pointed at you," he tells me and I sigh. I guess this is what Christian meant this morning.

"I'm already in the papers," I tell Sawyer, concerned.

"And on the internet," he says and I look at him.

He doesn't seem happy about it so I know it's not good.

I decide I don't even want to know. I'm going to let it go and enjoy the rest of my ice coffee as we walk. My phone rings and I fish it out of my bag.

"Hey," I say, trying to sound cheerful as I answer Christian's call.

"Hey, Baby," he says to me. "Where are you?"

"On Spring St," I tell him. I hear a lot of traffic in the background. "Why? Where are you?"

"Right in front of you, Baby," he says as I look to see him and Taylor approach.

"Hi," I say as I hang up my phone and give him a kiss.

I stand snuggled in his arms like I didn't just see him less than four hours ago, while Sawyer reports to him and Taylor about the paparazzi taking my picture.

"You okay, Baby," he asks me, kissing the top of my head and I nod.

"I didn't even see him," I confess. "It was Sawyer who noticed and got me out of sight."

I say goodbye to Christian and continue on to campus, leaving him to go have his lunch.

He seemed less annoyed with Sawyer and I can tell he felt better knowing he was with me.

...

 **Jess's POV**

I sit at the counter of the diner and watch as Ana walks past the window with what looks to be a new CPO. Christian must have increased security on her now that she's made the paper.

Brandon mentioned something about a gallery opening for his sister's friend. Normally it is something that I would have loved to attend, but Christian wouldn't have appreciated seeing me and I need to keep the peace right now.

Brandon wasn't at all happy to see Ana and Christian's picture in the paper this morning though, but he did try to hide his anger for my benefit, so I let it go.

I check the time on my cell phone again. He was supposed to meet me here over half an hour ago for lunch.

I try to call him, but it goes straight to voicemail. This is not like him. I wonder what's keeping him, as I try not to worry.

...

 **?'s POV**

 _Unbelievable._

 _Bastard security spotted me trying to take pictures of that tease Ana._

I sit parked in my car looking at the photo of her and the Bastard smiling it up for the Seattle Times.

 _Happily FUCKING ever after for you two._

 _I am not going to sit back while that happens. Not after you destroyed my life, Christian FUCKING Grey!_

 _I spent all this time getting her just right so you can swoop in and...FUCK YOU! I was supposed to reap the rewards. You have the fruits of MY FUCKING LABOR!_

 _You think you've won?_

"Well enjoy it while it lasts you, ASSHOLE!"

 _Son of a bitch, you are not going to live peacefully after taking her from me._

"You are going to pay for this shit, Grey, and so is the cockteasing WHORE."

* * *

 **A/N: So kind of a cliffhanger, but not really.**

 **Please excuse my mistakes. I didn't really read over this that much as I promised to get it out today to a few of you on Facebook and Pinterest. Not that I catch them all anyway.**

 **Well a little Q and A:**

 ***The only question I saw was about me wrapping up the story. Yes it will be wrapped up pretty soon. I can't say how many chapters are left though or if something else may pop into my head to keep me going with it. You'll all know when I know.**

 **I'll post again next week.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	62. The Day The Music Died

**Okay things are coming to a head at the end of this chapter. The last paragraph speaks of violence, not really enough for a trigger warning but enough to make you aware before you read it.**

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Sixty-Two**

 **The Day The Music Died**

Two Weeks Later

 **Friday April 22, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

It's been two weeks since Jose's gallery opening and the paparazzi has been relentless.

I said I would ignore it. I didn't even read the magazine I bought with my picture on the cover. But curiosity got the better of me and I checked the internet. It was all about Christian and my relationship. One website went so far as to say that he and I had an illicit affair and it caused the breakup of his marriage.

I wasn't surprised. I'm not an idiot. I figured that would be the first conclusion as the start of our relationship did overlap with his marriage.

My skin is pretty thick at this point, but they just keep coming at me.

The latest is I am causing a riff between the entire Grey family and they are just seconds away from disowning Christian if he doesn't kick me out of his life. They have even manipulated pictures to where it looks like Christian, Carrick, and Grace are arguing with each other. That one hurt the most, but I could deal with it. I and everyone important to me know it's not true.

We were advised by Christian's PR team to keep quiet about it, that speaking out in defense just adds fuel to the fire and most often backfires, so we left it alone. Christian is worried about how I'm handling things, but their opinions aren't really affecting me.

That is until I read the one about me insisting the twins be shipped off to boarding school because I hate them. I want all of Christian's time and money to myself and refuse to let him spend either on his kids. "Spoiled little attention grabbing brats," is what I was quoted as calling them to an "inside source".

Christian came into the bedroom and saw me crying about it.

 _"Son of a bitch," he said angrily after reading it and nearly threw my tablet against the wall before he caught himself._

 _"Christian, what if one of their friends see it," I asked him. "What if someone tells them what they think I said? What if the twins believe I actually think that way about them?"_

 _"Come here, Baby," he said taking me into his arms. "They know you love them. I promise you that."_

We had a family meeting that night and the next day Christian raised hell at his PR team. They managed to get the paper to print a retraction along with an apology. That was nowhere near good enough for him and he quietly went about the business of acquiring the paper.

 _"Christian," I said when I found out. "You can't buy them all out if they print stuff like that."_

 _"When they talk about you and my kids, Anastasia I will buy every damn one," he told me."No one is going to get away with that if I can help it."_

That was a week ago. Things have died down considerably since then, thank God. But for the occassional paparazzi, everything is pretty much back to normal.

...

"You spoil me too much," I tell Christian now as I sit at the breakfast bar watching him chop up vegetables for our dinner. I've been craving soup again and he is adamant that he cook it for me this time.

"What do you mean," he says concentrating on the task at hand.

I don't answer him. I am too busy thinking things I shouldn't be thinking about him. He looks so sexy when he cooks. Come to think of it he looks sexy when he does just about everything. I really want to throw him on the bar right now and have my way with him.

He suddenly looks up at me wondering why I'm so quiet and smirks when he sees me starring.

"What's going on in that dirty little pretty head of yours, Baby," he asks me.

"Nothing," I say innocently, but he knows better. My libido has gone into overdrive as of late. I even sexed him up in the gym downstairs.

I wanted to work out. At least that's what I told myself when I joined him. But then he was all sweaty and hot. He had on those shorts that hung off him just right and no shirt on so I could see the sweat glistening off of his muscles. He must of known something was up because he tugged at his shorts exposing a bit of his waist and thigh. Next thing I knew I was on him and there was no escaping me. Not that he even tried.

"Is my monster up again, Baby," he asks me now, as he throws the vegetables in a pot.

"Yes," I admit, sadly. "I don't think she sleeps much anymore. I think she's taking No-Doz pills to stay awake."

He laughs.

"Well," he says as he puts the pot to simmer. "I better take care of her."

I giggle as he lifts me up from the stool bridle style and carries me back to the bedroom.

I thank my lucky stars this man loves having sex and is always hard for me.

He tosses me on the bed and takes of his clothes.

"I have to pee," I tell him getting up. I tuck my butt in knowing that he'd try and swat it on the way past him.

I relive myself and suddenly get a head rush when I stand back up.

I go back out to Christian who is lying naked on the bed.

"Baby, what is it," he says when he takes one look at me. He can always tell when something is wrong.

"Headache," I tell him.

"I'll get you something," he says to me.

"No, it's not that bad," I tell him. He holds out his hand for me to join him in bed.

"Just relax baby," he tells me putting his arm around me.

My monster may not be sleeping but I must have dozed off because Christian is calling for me to wake up. He has my soup waiting to serve me in bed.

"Mmmmm," I say as I eat it. "So much better than a cup."

He nearly chokes on his, laughing at me.

….

 **Saturday, April 23, 2016.**

 **Movie Night at the Grey's**

Movie night was postponed until this weekend because I came down with the flu and I was pretty much out of it.

By Monday morning, Christian was feeling miserable and he sent the twins to stay with Jess while I stayed home from work the few days it took to nurse him back to health.

 _"Was he always this big of a baby," I asked Grace of a sick Christian when she came to check on him. He nearly tantrumed from not wanting to take the medications and drink the liquids to keep him hydrated._

 _"Worse," she confided in me as she looked down on him sleeping with his head in my lap. I was sitting up in bed running my fingers through his hair. "He's on his best behavior with you here."_

 _We had a laugh at his expense until he grumbled pissed at us and she saw herself out._

...

 **Christian's POV**

"Did Anderson bring the twins yet," Ana asks me as we drive to Bellevue to visit my parents.

It's a nice night out and I decided to take the R8 for a spin. I miss it being just the two of us driving. Ryan and Reynolds are not far behind us in the SUV. Paparazzi are still around and I don't trust those fuckers. Ana being fresh meat is selling like crazy, so I don't feel comfortable with going out without eyes on us.

"They just arrived there fifteen minutes ago," I tell her of the text I got from Anderson.

Jess is letting them come over to watch the video of me and Frank performing at the Hollywood Bowl.

"You all are really going to subject me to this aren't you," I complain.

"Yes," she says and nothing more.

I smile amused as I run my free hand up her leg. She has on blue jeans and a bright red spaghetti strapped top with her signature flats.

...

"Ana," Mom beelines her when we enter the foyer. "So nice to see you, Dear, you look lovely."

"Thank you," Ana says. "So do you."

I wait patiently for them to finish embracing so that I can also be acknowledged.

"Ahem," I say pretending to clear my throat as they carry on a conversation.

"Oh hello, Christian, Dear," Mom says to me, finally giving me my hug.

"Give it up, Son, you're second fiddle," Dad says as he joins us, giving Ana a kiss on the cheek.

I laugh as he at least greets me without prompting.

….

 **Ana's POV**

"Mom and Dad wanted to come to dinner, but Mom's hip was acting up again," Grace tells us as we eat. "I promised to schedule another family dinner soon."

"I'm looking forward to meeting them," I tell her.

"Oh noooo," Elliot says making faces and shaking his head at me in warning. "Be busy that night, Ana. It's too late for us….. Save yourself."

"And don't let her fool you," Mia adds. "She can really move with that hip. You need to run."

Grace rolls her eyes.

"She really isn't that bad," Grace says to me.

"That really doesn't inspire confidence, Sweetheart," Carrick tells her of the statement.

"I like visiting with her," Teddy adds and Grace smiles.

"She races me in her hover chair," he says. "She cheats."

Kate and Carrick laugh and Grace is trying hard not to grin herself.

"Out of the mouths of babes," Elliot says.

"Elliot Grey, that is enough," she scolds him.

"Cheating builds character," we hear a female voice and we turn to see a couple who I don't even have to guess to know is the Trevelyans. The woman is the older version of Grace and still just as beautiful.

"Mother," Grace says as Mrs. Trevelyan rides up to the table in her hover chair, her husband, a tall built gentleman walks behind her. "We thought you couldn't make it."

"Well I got sick of your father so I decided to come out for some fresh air," she tells her.

She was about to sit next to Grace until she eyes me. She quickly swoops her chair around, nearly running into her husband and heads my way.

"Will you watch it with that thing," he tells her. "Why do you have to drive so reckless?"

"Why do you have to walk so close," she argues with him.

Christian tries to scoot over so that she's next to him but she's not having it. She wedges that chair right in-between the two of us.

He formally introduces me to them.

They are pleased to know that I am not only an educator, but the twin's teacher, although I think they may have already known this before tonight.

"Teaching is such a noble profession," Mrs. Trevelyan tells me. "I was a grade school teacher. Back in my day we were respected, but now, not so much. It's a shame and completely despicable. I just wish they'd learn to keep their junk in their pants …."

"MOTHER," Grace yells, mortified.

"Well I didn't mean her," she tells her before she turns to me. "I didn't mean you, Dear. You used your feminine wilds the right way."

She taps my knee in approval.

"Ha, good one, Grandmother," Elliot says to her and she winks at him.

I try to hide my giggle as Christian shakes his head. The twins are looking around the table trying to figure out what all the fuss is about. Carrick is pouring himself another glass of wine, while Mia and Kate are amused at an embarrassed, red faced, Grace.

…

"That was a nice surprise," I tell Christian as we walk up the three flights of stairs to his old bedroom. "Your grandparents are the best. Your grandfather has such a way about him. I can see why you named Teddy after him."

"He is a wonderful man," he agrees as he opens the door to his room, allowing me entry into his childhood domain.

I have a strong feeling it is exactly how he left it, save for the cleaning done by Gretchen. I inwardly roll my eyes at the thought of her being in here alone. I'm sure she rifles through his things. I just bet she's taken a souvenir or two the way she's always eyeing him like he's a tall glass of ice water in 100 degree weather.

"So this is where you had your first wet dream," I tell him, eyeing the bed.

A photo above it catches my eye. It's a standard size, no more than 4x6, of a young girl with long dark hair and beautiful gray eyes just like Christian's. I don't have to ask who she is. I know it's his birth mother.

He laughs at my joke.

I don't mention that I've spotted the photo. He's only talked about her once and now is not the time to bring her up again.

I divert attention by flopping down on the bed instead.

….

 **Christian's POV**

Ana flops back on the bed. I know she spotted the picture of my birth mother. I completely forgot it was there. I'm grateful that she doesn't mention it. It always amazes me how well she knows me. She's got me completely figured out.

She stares up at me. Her hair is fanned over my pillow and her red blouse is bringing out her skin so perfectly. She is an absolute wet dream come true and I have to have her.

"Christian," she says in surprise when I go over and lock the door.

"I need you right now, Baby," I tell her, taking off my clothes.

She doesn't put up much of a fight after I pull her blouse up and latch on to her nipple. I scale her jeans and panties off and enter her in one swift motion. Thank fuck we are three floors up because being quiet never enters our minds.

...

Our monsters satisfied for the moment, she lies on top of me, encased in my arms. The feel of her warm naked body on mine is the closes I'll ever come to heaven.

"We should get up," she tells me. "They'll start to wonder about us."

"Stay," I tell her. "Just a little longer."

"Okay," she says, nestling back down into me.

Reluctantly, after a few more minutes I let her up so we can get dressed.

"Great," she says, looking at herself in the mirror. "I look sexed up."

I laugh.

"You look beautiful," I tell her, truthfully.

…..

 **Ana's POV**

"Kate," I call looking for her. Elliot said he saw her head off toward the kitchen.

"Making popcorn," she calls out in answer.

I go in to join her.

"Hey," she says. She's about to say more but she just stares at me.

"What," I ask, looking down at myself.

"You've been doing it," she says.

"What," I squeal out.

"Ohhh, you've **so** been doing the nasty," she says, amused.

"Kate," I say to her.

"I hope you left the bed a hot mess for that skank Gretchen to find," she tells me, putting the popcorn in four large bowls.

"We sure did," I brag.

"You are so bad," she laughs.

I grab two of the bowls and take them to the media room where everyone is anxiously waiting to watch the video.

I give a bowl to Carrick and Grace while Kate gives one of hers to The Trevelyans and sits down to share the other with Elliot and Mia.

Christian and I sit together with Phoebe next to me and Teddy next to him. He holds our popcorn in his lap while I and the kids eat the better portion of it.

Christian is more uncomfortable watching the video of him singing than he ever was actually doing it.

It's not every day you see him so bashful when the spotlight is on him and I know it's because of his family. Their opinion of him means more than anyone else's.

He didn't have anything to worry about, they all loved it.

The twins couldn't get the songs out of their head and I feel bad for poor Anderson who's now having to listen to them sing their mangled version of American Pie all the way back to Jess's place in Shoreline.

…..

"I should burn that damn recording," Christian says as he catches me singing the song while he's lying next to me trying to sleep.

"Sorry," I say to him as I tug his shoulder to get him to cuddle me. "It's a catchy tune, The Day the Music Died."

He turns on his back and pulls me into his arms. I sigh contently as his heartbeat lulls me to sleep.

…..

 **Monday April 25, 2016**

 **Ana's POV**

"I hate Mondays," I complain to Sawyer as he drives me to work.

"You're just bumming because you have to go in alone," he tells me.

And it's true. Christian had an early morning meeting and the twins stayed and extra day with Jess to make up for part of the Saturday she gave up.

"Yes and now I'm stuck with your ugly mug," I tell him.

I roll my eyes when he feigns hurt.

My cell phone goes off and its Christian texting me.

 **Hey, Baby, missed waking up with you this morning. C**

 **Me, too. We should have played hooky today. A**

 **I'm always tempted to play with you. C**

 **Monsters and kids aren't a good combination for me in class this morning. A**

 **;-) love you. C**

 **Love you more. xoxo A**

I get an eye roll from Sawyer when I laugh at Christian's smiley winky face.

"Sour pus," I say to him as I go into my classroom.

"You're one to talk," I hear him say before the door closes.

…..

 **9:30am.**

"Sir," Taylor rushes in the boardroom interrupting my meeting.

That fact alone has me extremely alarmed. Without so much as a word, I get up and follow him out.

"What," I say to him as we walk to the waiting area.

We pass Andrea and she looks alarmed.

"What the fuck is going on," I say, looking at her than Taylor. My heart sinks when I think something has happened to Ros.

"Trouble at the twin's school," he tells me. He barely gets it out before I race to the elevator punching in the code.

"Are they alright," I ask him.

"I don't know yet, Sir," he says.

"What the fuck are Sawyer and Anderson saying," I yell as we hop in his SUV.

"No communication has been established," he tells me, driving like a bat out of hell the few blocks toward the school.

He doesn't get very far as police and emergency vehicles block our way.

"Jesus Christ," I say, as Taylor and I abandon the SUV and run towards the school.

We are about a block away when we are stopped again.

"Whoa, hold on, you can't do that," a policeman tells us as we try to cross the barricades. "Stay behind the barrier, you two."

"My kids, my girlfriend works at the school," I tell him. From this distance I can clearly see the school and the hundreds of police that are surrounding it. "I need to get to them."

"I can't allow that, Sir," he tells me.

Taylor is struggling to keep me from getting arrested because I am determined to get over the fucking barricade.

"Sir," the policeman says to me, sympathetically. "We having to chase you will only prolong help getting to the people in that school."

That's enough to get me under control and I push Taylor off of me. Satisfied that I am now thinking clearer, he doesn't attempt to subdue me again.

"Can you tell us what's going on," Taylor asks him.

"Do you have kids at the school," the policeman asks and Taylor explains he is my CPO.

He motions for Taylor to follow him as he steps away from me.

I feel my heart beating furiously in my chest as Taylor's face drains of blood at the policeman's words. I don't know how he's still alive as white as he is right now.

He steels himself as he approaches me. I've only seen him do this once and that's when he told me about the accident with Andy.

"What," I find my voice to ask him. Tears are already pooling in my eyes. I know it's not good. I know it's worse than with Andy.

Suddenly, we are ushered aside as the roar of several large Swat Team vehicles come rushing past. The barrier is quickly moved aside to let them in.

They are decked out in full riot gear with large automated weapons.

"Taylor," I say to him, never taking my eyes off the chaos that is my kid's and Ana's school.

"A gunman," he says to me.

"Is he caught," I ask him.

 _Please God._

He prepares me by shaking his head before he speaks.

"Negative, Sir. He's still loose and fully active on school grounds." he says. My knees give away and I sink to the concrete sidewalk .

My God it's all of them. My Babydoll, My Teddy Bear, and the love of my, I could lose all of them.

 _Oh God no._

* * *

 **A/N: No, the kids and Ana are at school not with Jess. Sorry I just got a trillion PMs with that question.**

 **I usually try to answer your reviews but I need to work on chapter 63 so that I don't leave you all hanging with this too long, but I do appreciate every single one, you guys know that right?.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	63. Shots Fired

***Trigger warning: This chapter contains violence. Please skip the gunman's POV to avoid it.***

* * *

 **Dare To Love Again**

 **Chapter Sixty-Three**

 **Shots Fired**

 **...**

 **Monday April 25, 2016**

6:15 AM

 **The Gunman's POV**

I gave up trying to get at The Bastard and The Bitch last week. Security never left their side. The paparazzi dying down made it too damn hard for me. Twice I came too close to being found out.

But enough is enough of this shit. I got everything I need anyway. I know their routines. It's time Grey and his whore learn what a real bitch payback can be.

I loaded the trunk of my car this morning with enough ammunition to get my point across. My 9mm is loaded and in its holster at my back. My first stop is GEH. He usually drops his whore off at the school before coming in to work, so I am sure to catch him.

I park on the street and walk to the drop off area to lay in wait for Grey. Getting past the night security was easy enough. I just slipped right past the sleeping idiot. I had to stop myself from putting a bullet in his head. He wasn't worth messing up my plans.

Grey hasn't shown, but that red headed bitch he works with just did. I hurry my ass and follow her as she pulls her silver Jag around past the drop off to the executive parking. Grey lets all his bigwig kiss-asses store their cars there, but he himself is too fucking good to park in one of the spaces.

Bastard has a big sign right in front for his shit to sit parked. Now that is a fucking dumb move, anyone one can drop a bomb on his ass. I guess he figures his top notch security won't let that happen. I almost pity the bastard.

I can't risk the gun going off on this waste of space carpet licker, so I take off the Bowie knife I have strapped to my leg. I wait until she is out of her car before I approach her. She has her back door open leaning in, apparently getting her shit.

"Hey," I say to her. Startled, she turns around quick to look at me. She drops her bag and produce goes rolling everywhere. Fear flashes in her eyes as she figures out what I plan to do to her. She tries to scream but I quickly cover her mouth. I bang her head into the side of her car to daze her as I slip the knife in her gut. The feel of the steal blade going into her soft flesh sends me into a euphoric high. I take it out and slip it in again just for fun because I know she's already done for.

She slumps down, blood is pouring everywhere, but not much I can do about that.

I take her keys and unlock her trunk. I throw her in it and toss her keys in on top of her. I touch the blood on the knife with the tip of my tongue before I throw it in with her.

She looks up at me glossy eyed as the life is draining from her.

"You just picked the wrong guy to back up," I tell her as I slam the trunk closed.

I walk out of the parking and head to my car with only my final destination in mind.

...

 **7:30 Am.**

 **Christian's POV**

"Andrea, where the hell is Ros," I call to yell at my PA for the third time this morning.

"I'm trying her cell phone, Sir," she tells me. "I'm still not getting an answer."

"Did you try Gwen," I ask her.

"Yes, Sir," she answers. "She said Ros left a while ago and was going to stop off by the Farmer's Market before coming in for the meeting."

Great, Ros is at the Farmer's Market. She can be held up there all fucking day as carried away as she gets. She was supposed to be the one running this damn meeting she called this morning at the ass crack of dawn .

"Get her PA in here," I say to Andrea. "Tell her to bring everything she's got on the Cintrose meeting.

"Yes, Mr. Grey," she tells me.

I take out my phone to text Ana. She should be on her way to work right now.

 **Hey, Baby, missed waking up with you this morning. C**

 **Me, too. We should have played hooky today. A**

 **I'm always tempted to play with you. C**

 **Monsters and kids aren't a good combination for me in class this morning. A**

 **;-) love you. C**

 **Love you more. xoxo A**

I put my phone away and look over the information Andrea just placed on my desk. I sigh at the thick file. This is going to be a very long meeting.

...

 **8:30 am**

 **Ana's POV**

"Alright, everyone," I tell the class after just taking the attendance. "Let's finish our math game from yesterday."

I wait for them to get their materials ready when I see Michelle slowly raise her hand. I already know what she wants. Every time the word math is mentioned, it goes straight to her little bladder and she has to pee.

"Michelle," I say, acknowledging her.

"Can I go to the bathroom," she says shyly.

"Class just started, Michelle," I tell her. "You have to have an escort to take you at this hour."

"I can escort her, Ana," Sandy offers. "I'm going to the office anyway. I'll just take her with me."

"Thank you, Sandy," I say, giving her the attendance sheet. I shake my head at Michelle as she rushes out of her seat to follow her.

…

 **Jess's POV**

I wake to find a note on Brandon's pillow this morning saying he had to go into the office early. He's been disappearing before I get up and coming by later at night. He says he's tied up at work but when I call to talk to him, he doesn't answer and it takes hours for him to call me back. I pick up my cell to call him.

"Hi, Hilda," I say to his secretary. "May I speak to him?"

"I'm sorry, Jess," she says. "He's out of the office. I don't expect him back until the afternoon. Shall I have him call you?"

"No, its fine," I tell her, trying not to sound disappointed that he lied to me.

….

 **The Gunman's POV**

I pull to the visitors parking at Woodside Academy Elementary School. I just missed the morning rush of the uppity parents dropping their obnoxious spawns off for the day. I've been having to put up with these people way too long. Rich assholes thumbing their noses at me just because I work for a living. Where would people like them be without people like me? Getting their own hands dirty that is for damn sure.

I get out of my car and open my trunk. I grab my duffle bag that has my assault rifle and ammunition and head through the door to the main office. The security guard tries to stop me but I take him down with one shot from my pistol.

Opening the administrative office door, I pull out my riffle and start shooting.

...

 **Ana's POV**

I stand in the back of the classroom watching while Phoebe and Kennedy are on the board working out their math problems.

I smile as Phoebe scratches her head in hopes that the answer to how many times can 3 go into 60 comes to her before Kennedy gets the answer.

The other students are waiting anxiously at their desks as this is the tie breaker to the math game we've been playing since yesterday afternoon. Whoever gets the answer first, their team gets to leave ten minutes early for recess.

It suddenly clicks in Phoebe's head and she starts writing numbers down quickly with her dry erase marker, solving the division problem.

Kennedy tries to sneak a peek at what she's doing, thinking I didn't see her try to steal the answer. I am just about to call her name when the whole class jumps in unison, startled by a very loud and distinctive series of bangs.

"Girls, take your seats," I tell Kennedy and Phoebe and they quickly go to their desk as I move to the door.

The chatter rises when we here the succession of bangs again.

"Quiet down," I tell them. The class is excited, mistaking the sound for fireworks, but I know better.

It goes again and the chatter from the class starts up.

My breathing is escalating as I look at my 15 students trying to figure out how to keep them safe.

I quickly scan the classroom. The windows are too high for us to climb and I can't chance us all going out the door. Which way would we go? How could I possible control them all if they panic and scatter.

The succession of bangs go off again. I know I am up against time and quickly running out of options.

I rush to the school phone to call the front office but no one answers. After the first three rings, I hang up. I go over to my desk and grab my cell phone out of my bag, calling Sawyer. He doesn't answer, so I hang up and try again.

"What's happening," I ask him as quietly as I can, thanking God he picked up this time.

Now 15 pairs of eyes are on me wondering why I am on my cellphone in the middle of a lesson. Which they know is a really big rule breaker.

"Gunmen on the school grounds," he confirms. "Not sure how many."

"What do I do," I ask him.

"Stay put," he tells me. "Anderson and I are making our way to you…."

"My God, Luke," I tell him starting to panic.

"Don't lose it on me know, Ana," he scolds. "The police are securing the school…."

We hear the bangs again. They are a distance away from us this time.

The kids jump in response, but I can see they now know that something is wrong as their eyes go wide with fear.

"Why won't they just take them out," I ask him, turning away from the class trying to get my bearings.

"They are trying, Ana," he assures me. "Listen to me. Keep your kids as far away from the door as you can. Make a barrier with the desk and put the kids behind it. We are almost where you are."

I hang up with Luke and turn to the class.

"Listen to me very carefully," I tell them.

….

 **Taylor's POV**

"Any word on Ros," I ask Andrea, standing in front of her desk.

The boss just went into his meeting and wants me to get a handle on what's taking her so long. She can be a bit of a whirlwind, but she is damn serious when it comes to her work. She wouldn't just blow off a meeting.

Andrea shakes her head no. I grab her phone and call down to security.

"Hill, I need you to do a sweep of the executive parking, where Mrs. Bailey parks," I order him. "Let me know if her car's there. If it is do a sweep of the building to locate her."

I hope she didn't fall out somewhere as much as she works. If that turns up nothing, I'll have Welch track her phone. She hates the I Spy shit, but I have no other options.

"Oh my God, Taylor," Andréa calls me and I move around her desk to see what on her computer has her turning pale .

There is a live newsfeed of the twin's school, reporting some type of trouble that the police are now involved.

"Shit," I say taking out my phone. I call both Sawyer and Anderson with no luck from either.

"Keep me updated," I tell Andréa.

Alarm bells are ringing in my head as I rush over to get the boss from his meeting.

...

 **Christian's POV**

"Ross had her eye on merging Seattle Independent Publishing with us," Harp, the head of Cintrose Communications tells me.

"I didn't approve of that idea," I tell him. "I want to keep that a publishing company."

"Another branch for the tree," he jokes with me.

"Can never have too many," I tell him. "We need to focus on….

"Sir," Taylor rushes in the boardroom interrupting my meeting.

That fact alone has me extremely alarmed. Without so much as a word, I get up and follow him out.

"What," I say to him as we walk to the waiting area.

We pass Andrea and she looks alarmed.

"What the fuck is going on," I say, looking at her than Taylor. My heart sinks when I think something has happened to Ros.

"Trouble at the twin's school," he tells me. He barely gets it out before I race to the elevator, punching in the code.

...

 **Taylor's POV**

"Are they alright," He asks me.

"I don't know yet, Sir," I tell him.

"What the fuck are Sawyer and Anderson saying," he yells as we hop in his SUV.

"No communication has been established," I tell him.

I drive like a bat out of hell. That damn school is only a short distance away but it seems like the damn streets keep getting longer the faster I drive.

I eye the boss and he is searching furiously in his pockets.

"Your phone," he says to me. I am about to take it out when we come to a stop. Police, news, and emergency vehicles block our way.

"Jesus Christ," he says, as we abandon the SUV and run towards the school.

We are about a block away when we are stopped again.

"Whoa, hold on, you can't do that," a policeman tells us as we try to cross the barricades. "Stay behind the barrier, you two."

I hold on to Grey as he struggles to try and get through the police barricade.

"Sir," the cop tells him. "We having to chase you will only prolong help getting to the people in that school."

That seems to do the trick and he shakes me off, getting himself under control.

Finally I get to talk to this cop without fear of the boss getting mowed down for trying to run past the damn barriers.

"Can you tell us what's going on," I ask him. Now I'm a military man. It doesn't take long for me to survey the scene to come up with and cross off a few scenarios.

Obviously it's not a medical emergency as the whole damn news nation wouldn't be parked a few blocks back. No fire. There is only one other scenario that can cause this much police power in such a short amount of time.

"Do you have kids at the school," the cop asks me.

"I'm close personal protection," I tell him. "A woman and two of those kids are under my charge."

He motions with his head for me to step to the side. And my worst fears are confirmed with what he has to tell me.

"We've been alerted and it's been confirmed that at least one gunman is loose on school grounds with shots fired," he tells me.

"Any report of casualties," I ask him and he nods yes.

"It's unclear as to how many and where they are located," he tells me. "We have our men on the ground and are waiting for swat. That's all I know. Just keep your guy under control will you?"

I absentmindedly nod as I turn to look at Grey. I haven't seen him look this broken since his son. I steel myself for what I have to tell him. His whole fucking world is in that school. He'll never come back from it if he loses one of them, let alone all.

Suddenly, we are ushered aside as the roar of several large Swat Team vehicles come rushing past. The barrier is quickly moved aside to let them in.

They are decked out in full riot gear with large automated weapons and I thank fuck for that.

My blood boils when it hits me that Sawyer only has his side arm and Anderson is without a gun as Grey doesn't want him to carry one around the kids. My men are now in a goddamn war zone possibly outmanned and definitely outgunned.

"Taylor," Grey takes me out of my thoughts. He never takes his eyes off the chaos that is the school.

"A gunman," I tell him.

"Is he caught," He asks.

"Negative, Sir. He's still loose and fully active on school grounds." I say to him. I watch as his knees give away and he sinks to the concrete sidewalk .

 **…** **.**

 **Ana's POV**

I had the boys help me to push my heavy desk in front of the door while the rest of the students were busy turning their desks on their sides, putting them together to form a fort.

They are now out of sight, huddled together, and terrified behind their desks.

We wait for what seems like an eternity, listening to hear anything, good or bad. I stand between my kids and the door with only a yard stick in my hand ready to defend them.

We hear a loud bang on the door and the kids all scream in sheer panic.

"Ana," I hear Sawyer's voice and relief rushes over me, but it is short lived as I know we are nowhere near safe.

"Boys, help me," I yell to them and they all come from their hiding places to help me move the desk back off of the door.

"Marcy," Phoebe cries and rushes Anderson. He scoops her up easily in his arms. "I knew you'd come."

She clings to him.

"Marcy will always come for you, Princess," he tells her.

"Where," I ask Sawyer of the gunman.

"On the far side of the campus," Sawyer tells me. "We gotta move quickly."

"Class," I call to them quickly and they each pop their heads out of where they are hiding. "You know Mr. Sawyer and Mr. Anderson. They are here to help us move to someplace safe, but we have to do exactly what they tell us."

I quickly grab the class roster and we gather the kids in a line each having a partner. With the exception of Phoebe who is walking close to Anderson.

Sawyer takes the lead, I have the middle and Anderson takes up the rear. The kids jump when we hear the sound of the gunfire and it takes all three of us to keep them from running faster than the trotting pace that Sawyer has set for us.

I breathe a sigh of relief again when we run into the swat team. They have us put our hands up and escort us beyond the barriers that they've established.

"Where are you going," I ask Sawyer when he makes a move to leave.

"You're safe now," he tells me. "I have to help the others. Stay behind the barriers."

"Be careful," I tell him.

Anderson gives me Phoebe's hand, as she is not at all happy about letting him go. I tell him to be careful as he goes the opposite way of Sawyer, trying to help evacuate the buildings.

I turn to take care of my class, but they are all mingled in with the students that have already been rescued and it is a huge crowd of chaos as the police try to herd us all into some type of order and figure out who needs medical care and who doesn't.

I find a open space and call to my students.

I begin going over the roll making sure they are all present for as I tell them to stay together close to me.

"Ana," Teddy, interrupts me with his hand raised. "I can't find Michelle."

* * *

 **A/N: I hate cliffhangers too, but I had to split the chapter somewhere. I will update again the beginning of next week.**

 **The only question I saw was who the gunman is and I'm pretty sure you all have figured it out by now.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	64. Negative

Dare To Love Again

 ***Trigger warning: This chapter contains violence. Please skip the gunman's POV to avoid it.***

* * *

 **Chapter Sixty-Three**

 **Shots Fired**

 **...**

 **Monday April 25, 2016**

6:15 AM

 **The Gunman's POV**

I gave up trying to get at The Bastard and The Bitch last week. Security never left their side. The paparazzi dying down made it too damn hard for me. Twice I came too close to being found out.

But enough is enough of this shit. I got everything I need anyway. I know their routines. It's time Grey and his whore learn what a real bitch payback can be.

I loaded the trunk of my car this morning with enough ammunition to get my point across. My 9mm is loaded and in its holster at my back. My first stop is GEH. He usually drops his whore off at the school before coming in to work, so I am sure to catch him.

I park on the street and walk to the drop off area to lay in wait for Grey. Getting past the night security was easy enough. I just slipped right past the sleeping idiot. I had to stop myself from putting a bullet in his head. He wasn't worth messing up my plans.

Grey hasn't shown, but that red headed bitch he works with just did. I hurry my ass and follow her as she pulls her silver Jag around past the drop off to the executive parking. Grey lets all his bigwig kiss-asses store their cars there, but he himself is too fucking good to park in one of the spaces.

Bastard has a big sign right in front for his shit to sit parked. Now that is a fucking dumb move, anyone one can drop a bomb on his ass. I guess he figures his top notch security won't let that happen. I almost pity the bastard.

I can't risk the gun going off on this waste of space carpet licker, so I take off the Bowie knife I have strapped to my leg. I wait until she is out of her car before I approach her. She has her back door open leaning in, apparently getting her shit.

"Hey," I say to her. Startled, she turns around quick to look at me. She drops her bag and produce goes rolling everywhere. Fear flashes in her eyes as she figures out what I plan to do to her. She tries to scream but I quickly cover her mouth. I bang her head into the side of her car to daze her as I slip the knife in her gut. The feel of the steal blade going into her soft flesh sends me into a euphoric high. I take it out and slip it in again just for fun because I know she's already done for.

She slumps down, blood is pouring everywhere, but not much I can do about that.

I take her keys and unlock her trunk. I throw her in it and toss her keys in on top of her. I touch the blood on the knife with the tip of my tongue before I throw it in with her.

She looks up at me glossy eyed as the life is draining from her.

"You just picked the wrong guy to back up," I tell her as I slam the trunk closed.

I walk out of the parking and head to my car with only my final destination in mind.

...

 **7:30 Am.**

 **Christian's POV**

"Andrea, where the hell is Ros," I call to yell at my PA for the third time this morning.

"I'm trying her cell phone, Sir," she tells me. "I'm still not getting an answer."

"Did you try Gwen," I ask her.

"Yes, Sir," she answers. "She said Ros left a while ago and was going to stop off by the Farmer's Market before coming in for the meeting."

Great, Ros is at the Farmer's Market. She can be held up there all fucking day as carried away as she gets. She was supposed to be the one running this damn meeting she called this morning at the ass crack of dawn .

"Get her PA in here," I say to Andrea. "Tell her to bring everything she's got on the Cintrose meeting.

"Yes, Mr. Grey," she tells me.

I take out my phone to text Ana. She should be on her way to work right now.

 **Hey, Baby, missed waking up with you this morning. C**

 **Me, too. We should have played hooky today. A**

 **I'm always tempted to play with you. C**

 **Monsters and kids aren't a good combination for me in class this morning. A**

 **;-) love you. C**

 **Love you more. xoxo A**

I put my phone away and look over the information Andrea just placed on my desk. I sigh at the thick file. This is going to be a very long meeting.

...

 **8:30 am**

 **Ana's POV**

"Alright, everyone," I tell the class after just taking the attendance. "Let's finish our math game from yesterday."

I wait for them to get their materials ready when I see Michelle slowly raise her hand. I already know what she wants. Every time the word math is mentioned, it goes straight to her little bladder and she has to pee.

"Michelle," I say, acknowledging her.

"Can I go to the bathroom," she says shyly.

"Class just started, Michelle," I tell her. "You have to have an escort to take you at this hour."

"I can escort her, Ana," Sandy offers. "I'm going to the office anyway. I'll just take her with me."

"Thank you, Sandy," I say, giving her the attendance sheet. I shake my head at Michelle as she rushes out of her seat to follow her.

…

 **Jess's POV**

I wake to find a note on Brandon's pillow this morning saying he had to go into the office early. He's been disappearing before I get up and coming by later at night. He says he's tied up at work but when I call to talk to him, he doesn't answer and it takes hours for him to call me back. I pick up my cell to call him.

"Hi, Hilda," I say to his secretary. "May I speak to him?"

"I'm sorry, Jess," she says. "He's out of the office. I don't expect him back until the afternoon. Shall I have him call you?"

"No, its fine," I tell her, trying not to sound disappointed that he lied to me.

….

 **The Gunman's POV**

I pull to the visitors parking at Woodside Academy Elementary School. I just missed the morning rush of the uppity parents dropping their obnoxious spawns off for the day. I've been having to put up with these people way too long. Rich assholes thumbing their noses at me just because I work for a living. Where would people like them be without people like me? Getting their own hands dirty that is for damn sure.

I get out of my car and open my trunk. I grab my duffle bag that has my assault rifle and ammunition and head through the door to the main office. The security guard tries to stop me but I take him down with one shot from my pistol.

Opening the administrative office door, I pull out my riffle and start shooting.

...

 **Ana's POV**

I stand in the back of the classroom watching while Phoebe and Kennedy are on the board working out their math problems.

I smile as Phoebe scratches her head in hopes that the answer to how many times can 3 go into 60 comes to her before Kennedy gets the answer.

The other students are waiting anxiously at their desks as this is the tie breaker to the math game we've been playing since yesterday afternoon. Whoever gets the answer first, their team gets to leave ten minutes early for recess.

It suddenly clicks in Phoebe's head and she starts writing numbers down quickly with her dry erase marker, solving the division problem.

Kennedy tries to sneak a peek at what she's doing, thinking I didn't see her try to steal the answer. I am just about to call her name when the whole class jumps in unison, startled by a very loud and distinctive series of bangs.

"Girls, take your seats," I tell Kennedy and Phoebe and they quickly go to their desk as I move to the door.

The chatter rises when we here the succession of bangs again.

"Quiet down," I tell them. The class is excited, mistaking the sound for fireworks, but I know better.

It goes again and the chatter from the class starts up.

My breathing is escalating as I look at my 15 students trying to figure out how to keep them safe.

I quickly scan the classroom. The windows are too high for us to climb and I can't chance us all going out the door. Which way would we go? How could I possible control them all if they panic and scatter.

The succession of bangs go off again. I know I am up against time and quickly running out of options.

I rush to the school phone to call the front office but no one answers. After the first three rings, I hang up. I go over to my desk and grab my cell phone out of my bag, calling Sawyer. He doesn't answer, so I hang up and try again.

"What's happening," I ask him as quietly as I can, thanking God he picked up this time.

Now 15 pairs of eyes are on me wondering why I am on my cellphone in the middle of a lesson. Which they know is a really big rule breaker.

"Gunmen on the school grounds," he confirms. "Not sure how many."

"What do I do," I ask him.

"Stay put," he tells me. "Anderson and I are making our way to you…."

"My God, Luke," I tell him starting to panic.

"Don't lose it on me know, Ana," he scolds. "The police are securing the school…."

We hear the bangs again. They are a distance away from us this time.

The kids jump in response, but I can see they now know that something is wrong as their eyes go wide with fear.

"Why won't they just take them out," I ask him, turning away from the class trying to get my bearings.

"They are trying, Ana," he assures me. "Listen to me. Keep your kids as far away from the door as you can. Make a barrier with the desk and put the kids behind it. We are almost where you are."

I hang up with Luke and turn to the class.

"Listen to me very carefully," I tell them.

….

 **Taylor's POV**

"Any word on Ros," I ask Andrea, standing in front of her desk.

The boss just went into his meeting and wants me to get a handle on what's taking her so long. She can be a bit of a whirlwind, but she is damn serious when it comes to her work. She wouldn't just blow off a meeting.

Andrea shakes her head no. I grab her phone and call down to security.

"Hill, I need you to do a sweep of the executive parking, where Mrs. Bailey parks," I order him. "Let me know if her car's there. If it is do a sweep of the building to locate her."

I hope she didn't fall out somewhere as much as she works. If that turns up nothing, I'll have Welch track her phone. She hates the I Spy shit, but I have no other options.

"Oh my God, Taylor," Andréa calls me and I move around her desk to see what on her computer has her turning pale .

There is a live newsfeed of the twin's school, reporting some type of trouble that the police are now involved.

"Shit," I say taking out my phone. I call both Sawyer and Anderson with no luck from either.

"Keep me updated," I tell Andréa.

Alarm bells are ringing in my head as I rush over to get the boss from his meeting.

...

 **Christian's POV**

"Ross had her eye on merging Seattle Independent Publishing with us," Harp, the head of Cintrose Communications tells me.

"I didn't approve of that idea," I tell him. "I want to keep that a publishing company."

"Another branch for the tree," he jokes with me.

"Can never have too many," I tell him. "We need to focus on….

"Sir," Taylor rushes in the boardroom interrupting my meeting.

That fact alone has me extremely alarmed. Without so much as a word, I get up and follow him out.

"What," I say to him as we walk to the waiting area.

We pass Andrea and she looks alarmed.

"What the fuck is going on," I say, looking at her than Taylor. My heart sinks when I think something has happened to Ros.

"Trouble at the twin's school," he tells me. He barely gets it out before I race to the elevator, punching in the code.

...

 **Taylor's POV**

"Are they alright," He asks me.

"I don't know yet, Sir," I tell him.

"What the fuck are Sawyer and Anderson saying," he yells as we hop in his SUV.

"No communication has been established," I tell him.

I drive like a bat out of hell. That damn school is only a short distance away but it seems like the damn streets keep getting longer the faster I drive.

I eye the boss and he is searching furiously in his pockets.

"Your phone," he says to me. I am about to take it out when we come to a stop. Police, news, and emergency vehicles block our way.

"Jesus Christ," he says, as we abandon the SUV and run towards the school.

We are about a block away when we are stopped again.

"Whoa, hold on, you can't do that," a policeman tells us as we try to cross the barricades. "Stay behind the barrier, you two."

I hold on to Grey as he struggles to try and get through the police barricade.

"Sir," the cop tells him. "We having to chase you will only prolong help getting to the people in that school."

That seems to do the trick and he shakes me off, getting himself under control.

Finally I get to talk to this cop without fear of the boss getting mowed down for trying to run past the damn barriers.

"Can you tell us what's going on," I ask him. Now I'm a military man. It doesn't take long for me to survey the scene to come up with and cross off a few scenarios.

Obviously it's not a medical emergency as the whole damn news nation wouldn't be parked a few blocks back. No fire. There is only one other scenario that can cause this much police power in such a short amount of time.

"Do you have kids at the school," the cop asks me.

"I'm close personal protection," I tell him. "A woman and two of those kids are under my charge."

He motions with his head for me to step to the side. And my worst fears are confirmed with what he has to tell me.

"We've been alerted and it's been confirmed that at least one gunman is loose on school grounds with shots fired," he tells me.

"Any report of casualties," I ask him and he nods yes.

"It's unclear as to how many and where they are located," he tells me. "We have our men on the ground and are waiting for swat. That's all I know. Just keep your guy under control will you?"

I absentmindedly nod as I turn to look at Grey. I haven't seen him look this broken since his son. I steel myself for what I have to tell him. His whole fucking world is in that school. He'll never come back from it if he loses one of them, let alone all.

Suddenly, we are ushered aside as the roar of several large Swat Team vehicles come rushing past. The barrier is quickly moved aside to let them in.

They are decked out in full riot gear with large automated weapons and I thank fuck for that.

My blood boils when it hits me that Sawyer only has his side arm and Anderson is without a gun as Grey doesn't want him to carry one around the kids. My men are now in a goddamn war zone possibly outmanned and definitely outgunned.

"Taylor," Grey takes me out of my thoughts. He never takes his eyes off the chaos that is the school.

"A gunman," I tell him.

"Is he caught," He asks.

"Negative, Sir. He's still loose and fully active on school grounds." I say to him. I watch as his knees give away and he sinks to the concrete sidewalk .

 **…** **.**

 **Ana's POV**

I had the boys help me to push my heavy desk in front of the door while the rest of the students were busy turning their desks on their sides, putting them together to form a fort.

They are now out of sight, huddled together, and terrified behind their desks.

We wait for what seems like an eternity, listening to hear anything, good or bad. I stand between my kids and the door with only a yard stick in my hand ready to defend them.

We hear a loud bang on the door and the kids all scream in sheer panic.

"Ana," I hear Sawyer's voice and relief rushes over me, but it is short lived as I know we are nowhere near safe.

"Boys, help me," I yell to them and they all come from their hiding places to help me move the desk back off of the door.

"Marcy," Phoebe cries and rushes Anderson. He scoops her up easily in his arms. "I knew you'd come."

She clings to him.

"Marcy will always come for you, Princess," he tells her.

"Where," I ask Sawyer of the gunman.

"On the far side of the campus," Sawyer tells me. "We gotta move quickly."

"Class," I call to them quickly and they each pop their heads out of where they are hiding. "You know Mr. Sawyer and Mr. Anderson. They are here to help us move to someplace safe, but we have to do exactly what they tell us."

I quickly grab the class roster and we gather the kids in a line each having a partner. With the exception of Phoebe who is walking close to Anderson.

Sawyer takes the lead, I have the middle and Anderson takes up the rear. The kids jump when we hear the sound of the gunfire and it takes all three of us to keep them from running faster than the trotting pace that Sawyer has set for us.

I breathe a sigh of relief again when we run into the swat team. They have us put our hands up and escort us beyond the barriers that they've established.

"Where are you going," I ask Sawyer when he makes a move to leave.

"You're safe now," he tells me. "I have to help the others. Stay behind the barriers."

"Be careful," I tell him.

Anderson gives me Phoebe's hand, as she is not at all happy about letting him go. I tell him to be careful as he goes the opposite way of Sawyer, trying to help evacuate the buildings.

I turn to take care of my class, but they are all mingled in with the students that have already been rescued and it is a huge crowd of chaos as the police try to herd us all into some type of order and figure out who needs medical care and who doesn't.

I find a open space and call to my students.

I begin going over the roll making sure they are all present for as I tell them to stay together close to me.

"Ana," Teddy, interrupts me with his hand raised. "I can't find Michelle."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **You can find the completed version of this story on my website lanielove . com**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


End file.
